A/N: And there is chapter Thirty-Eight. Huge thank you to all of you who keep supporting this story with your comments and follows. Thank you so much. I will keep it short today, so, please enjoy this newest chapter!

Let me know what you all think!

Cheers,

Anna

o.O.o

Chapter Thirty-Eight, A House Unbuilt

Well, it seemed breaking away from Elena Gilbert wasn't as easy as I'd expected. Yeah, with my hair cut short and curling as if I'd gotten a perm, I looked different. However, I still had Elena's life to content with. I'd registered for my SATs at the end of March, studied every afternoon, juggling my studies with the duties of the Gilbert household and— had my wisdom teeth removed.

Of all the things I had to go through, again, this was probably the worst. The normal human worst that is. In my own body, I had the procedure done when I'd turned nineteen. Except of the terrible sounds, so loud and obnoxious in the silence of the OR room, my face swelled like a balloon and I looked like a fucking chipmunk.

Also, the ache and pain that followed— I promise that was not pleasant. So it was with more than a little trepidation and fear that John — fucking John was the only one who volunteered — accompanied me to the oral surgeon.

I'd decided to undergo sedation with an IV mask, sleeping through he process, and thus the oral surgeon could remove all four wisdom teeth at once.

It was over before I realized and I spent a little below an hour getting back to terms with my mind in the recovery room. I didn't pay attention when I was given the post-procedure instruction — I remembered I had to rinse the wounds with salt water after 48 hours and also that I should take my painkillers on time.

Which, considering the pain rocketing through my face, would not be easy to forget and I spent three days complaining. I will admit, I was more like myself those few days than I'd been since hijacking Elena's body.

Miranda wasn't handing her husband's death well.

Although she hid her drinking from the outside world, hiding her newest addiction in front of the general public, she didn't hide it from her family.

Then again, how could she. Every evening Miranda passed out on the couch, no matter how much Jenna tried to step up and hide the empty bottles. During the day she was often gone, I wasn't sure where she went, but she only returned late afternoon, with a grocery bag, flushed cheeks and dazed eyes. Often with Jenna in tow, waving at me whenever I was there to watch them come in.

Regularly, whenever the alcohol got too much, Miranda would cry. Honestly, it was the backing track of this last week, and, often, I went to check on her, peeking through the door, watching her sob ugly on her bed. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do about that.

After a week of aches and angry itching in my lower jaw, the swelling had subsided mostly and I was curled up on the couch. Jeremy was home too, crouched in front of the coffee table, sitting crosslegged on a couch cushion.

He'd been quiet all morning, or he'd been quiet ever since Grayson had died I supposed, but I didn't think he was doing drugs like in the previous timeline. Instead he seemed to have gone numb. Perhaps the shock of Grayson's violent death had pushed him over the edge? I wasn't sure, but at least he was functioning and not drowning himself in alcohol.

He might not have a healthy coping mechanism, spending most of his time balancing his sketchbook on his knees to draft whatever it was he liked to draft, but he wasn't popping pills or hiding empty wine bottles.

The doorbell rung and I slowly tugged my earbuds out, my eyes flitting to Jeremy. He was still crouched over his sketchbook, seemingly not hearing the second ring the doorbell gave and, with a small sigh, I jerked to my feet, padding barefoot down the hall.

Honestly, if that was another neighbor with another casserole, I'd slam the door in his or her face. If it was Caroline with one again, I wasn't sure what I'd do. The blonde vampire had dropped by at least two times last week to either drop off food from the Grill, or bring by homemade pie— or a casserole, but she seemed to be a bit out of it as well.

I guessed she was worried about Bonnie, who'd done a rather impressive vanishing act, suddenly deciding to accompany her father to visit his side of the family, messaging us both she needed a break from Mystic Falls.

I wondered if she wanted to be away from Grayson's murder, perhaps even blaming my sudden withdrawal for it (or thought I blamed her, even if I just didn't know what to think), and Caroline had started to act a bit off.

So far, I hadn't called her out on it, nor had I asked if she knew what exactly happened to Grayson, nor if she had something to do with it.

I knew it was weak.

I should have been able to confront her the way I confronted Damon but— if she had done something about Elena's father, then where did that leave me?

Besides, if she hadn't— it would fracture our relationship beyond repair, and I couldn't just go around insulting my friend like that, and so, I did nothing. Just existed, pitied myself for the ache in my jaws the first few days and studied for my upcoming SAT's.

The bell rung again and I shook my head. I was already on the verge of blabbing out a reason why we didn't need the food — again — when John Gilbert pushed inside, walking straight past me without an invitation. My mouth fell open and my eyes landed on the two bags with him, stuffed with what I assumed were clothes and other necessities.

"Yeah, sure Uncle John, please come in," I stuttered and watched him dragging his luggage towards the stairs. "What— What are you doing?"

"I've come to take care of you and Jeremy," he told me by way of explanation and I frowned.

"Erm, why not Jenna?"

"Thanks for your vote of confidence, Elena," he muttered.

"Oh, no, I just, I thought Jenna— does Miranda know?" I mumbled.

"Yes, she's aware I'm coming to stay with you guys," he told me curtly and I crossed my arms beneath my chest. He settled his bag on the first step and turned to me. "Elena, Miranda isn't doing well."

"I've noticed…"

"Indeed," he agreed and looked as if he was in pain.

He probably was and I felt somewhat bad at how insensitive I was to his pain. I'd lost an acquaintance, perhaps Grayson might have been a bit like an uncle, but John had lost his big brother. The way his eyes flitted over me, face gaunt and eyes haunted, made me remember that he wasn't that much older than I was and that, in the end, he must hurt really bad.

I stared at John's trolley next to the front door and cleared my throat awkwardly. "So— do you need help with that one?"

"Oh, yes," he gave me a small reluctant smile.

I moved to gather the bag at the door and started to haul it up the stairs. A dull ache settled in my jaws and I heaved out tiredly when I finally managed the landing.

"Damn, what is in this thing?"

"Necessities," he remarked dryly.

"Necessities? Right, did you bring half of your flat?" I grumbled and followed Elena's uncle down the hallway, passed the pastoral painting near Elena's bedroom and shoved the trolley inside one of the guest rooms.

The wheels catching on the carpet and I heaved a sigh, dropping it when it hit the bed. I wondered, vaguely, how well Jenna was going to take this.

She was still staying with the Gilberts and if there was one thing I remembered from the series, then it was the immense dislike the character had for the man who'd also played Blaine in iZombie.

"So, why are you here?" I asked, settling on the edge of the bed. "I mean, Aunt Jenna is here too…"

"Yes, I know," he admitted. He looked unsettled and I stared at him for several long seconds.

"Why are you here?" I echoed, meeting his gaze head-on. "I don't buy the taking care part—"

"I'm applying for full custody, Elena."

Tucking my hair behind my ears I tried to think of what to say. So far I had little problem with John Gilbert. I wouldn't have to deal with him for a long time. I'd revisited my options — again — and had decided I would take my SAT test, would crush it and then I would be out of here.

I would use my full thrust fund to get into a college. Start studying— well, I really wanted to do something in law again, but whatever would get me out of Monster Falls would be good enough.

"You're not upset?"

I shrugged, biting the inside of my cheek. "I don't know what to be about this, to be honest. How much chance do you have at getting it? Getting custody of us I mean? I realize you're my biological father, but you're not Jeremy's."

"Elena it's been five weeks since Grayson—" he cleared his throat, "—she's not well."

"Where is she now?" I asked.

His expression turned sour and he opened his mouth, probably to answer, only to close it again, clacking his teeth together. He took a moment to push whatever anxiousness he was feeling away before he finally managed to ground out; "She's having an alcohol problem…"

"She's hospitalized?" I gasped and his cheeks turned pink again.

"It isn't healthy—"

"No, but she's just grieving. Everyone grieves differently." I replied even though I knew the excessive drinking, the almost catatonic state she was in when she was sober, wasn't healthy. Miranda Gilbert was spiraling, and she was spiraling fast. Biting my lip I cocked my head in acknowledgment. "I suppose she does need help."

"You've been very strong—" he remarked off-handedly and I frowned.

"What?"

"You've been very strong, holding down the ford and all."

I snorted. "I'm not. I mean, I haven't been doing so well with all the supernatural shenanigans. Can't really compete with them, can I?"

"Strength doesn't just come from size, Elena, it comes from the inside."

"Did you find out about Grayson?" I asked. "Do you know who—"

"It has all the pretenses of a murder," he mumbled and I rubbed my fingers over my still slightly swollen cheek. It was aching— again.

"You mean, it looks like a human did it?"

"Yes."

"How do you know?"

He shook his head. "No, I shouldn't be discussing this with you."

"Don't start. I'm not a kid, you can be honest with me."

"Elena," he tried and I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Don't Elena me. I don't need to be treated like a child. Besides, I can always ask Sheriff Forbes. As a close family member, I'm pretty sure I am allowed to see the file."

"A vampire's strength is— crushing." He muttered, sitting down beside me. "Human strength is measured. The— stab wounds were not deep and — I shouldn't be discussing this with you — the assailant cut him or herself. It was human blood."

"The unsub could have been compelled," I tried.

"The unsub?"

"Unknown subject, it's the— never mind, anyway a vampire could have compelled a human to, you know, kill someone, right?"

"Theoretically," he agreed and I opened my mouth to ask what he meant, but he shook his head. "Just, let's leave it at this. I told you what you wanted to know, let's just leave it at that."

I opened my mouth to argue, then closed it again. What could I say? In his eyes, I was his daughter and for some reason, he thought the things he'd figured out were truly too horrible for me. Considering the fact I'd been through a lot, it truly must be bad and I nodded. "Will you tell me later?"

He looked torn at that and I gave him my best 'big on honesty stare'. He seemed to cave. "Okay."

I managed a small smile and quickly moved out of the room. As I walked away, I felt John's gaze flit over me and I wondered if he too had noticed how unlike Elena Gilbert I was being right now. I wondered if he had noticed how different I was acting and for once— I didn't care.

The next morning came with a watery sun and the promise of spring rain and the unwelcome ache in my left lower jaw. Groaning, I stumbled out of bed in a blind haze and into the bathroom. Flicking the light on, it took a moment for my eyes to adjust and for me to find the syringe to rinse the wounds.

I leaned closer to the mirror, one finger tugging my cheek away from the slowly shrinking hole where my left lower wisdom teeth used to be, and gently pressed the tip of the syringe against the angry wound. Rinse the wounds they'd said— I felt a shimmer of dread flit through me as I pushed the plunger.

The bathroom door creaked open and Jenna Sommers huffed across the white-tiled floor. She was dressed in slippers and a dressing gown, hair in disarray, and face a storm cloud of fury. I settled on the edge of the loo as she dumped her toiletry bag into the sink and wiped the back of my hand across my lips.

"I take it you heard the news?"

"You knew?" She whispered, her face flushing pink. "You knew John would—"

"No," I mumbled, "I didn't. He told me yesterday afternoon."

"Elena, John brought Miranda to rehab. Without her consent if I might add."

I splayed my fingers out on the ceramic sides of the bowl behind me and bit my lip. "Yes, I know."

"And you're okay with that?"

"I want her to get better." I replied, meeting the older woman's gaze. "John is right about that, Jenna, Miranda isn't all right. She needs help. Needs professional help." I explained. "Jeremy needs her to be stable again. He needs his mother." I swallowed. "He needs an adult."

And it couldn't be me. Folding my legs, I cupped my hands together, rolling the syringe through my fingers as Jenna stared at me.

"You think John is right—"

"I think she needs help." I echoed. "I don't know if this was the best way to go about it."

"I can't believe you think John is right. John is never right. He's untrustworthy and—"

"He's my biological father," I remarked, because she was going to find out anyway and I really did want that awkward conversation out of the way. Jenna's mouth fell open in a shocked gasp and I nodded. "Yeah, I know. It was a shock to everyone."

"Oh my God," Jenna whispered and I flinched. I could have been a bit less direct about this.

"It's okay, you know. It's— it won't change the way I feel about you or mom and dad—"

And that was true, in a way. I cared for Jenna, just as I cared for Miranda. I had cared for Grayson too, but I hadn't loved him like I would have loved my own dad. I cared for Bonnie and Caroline. I cared enough to enjoy their company and want their happiness, but I would have wanted that for them in the series too.

I had no illusions. I couldn't protect them anymore than the real Elena could. However, I could take myself out of the equation. Something I should have done a long time ago.

"They never—" Jenna flushed in outrage, "—who's the mum?"

"You know her name." I answered slowly.

"Yes, but who is she?"

I rolled my shoulders awkwardly. "That's not my story to tell, Aunt Jenna."

She made a sound I couldn't identify before stomping her foot and turning to the door. "I'm going to fucking murder that asshole!"

I heard the door sweep shut with a soft click and the landing creak as Jenna stormed through the hallway. I winced when I heard the door to the guest bedroom bang open.

Perhaps, I shouldn't have dropped the bomb that way and winced again when Jenna's and John's screams filtered through the house. I retook my steps back into my room. Perhaps some more studying would be a safer option.

And studying was a safer option. I'd gotten into the habit of spending my late afternoons studying at the library for a few hours. Having gone through high school before gave me no guarantees of passing my SAT tests, but I tried.

The library was a better place to be then the Gilbert home. Between John fighting Aunt Jenna for custody (he'd dropped the papers demanding custody of Elena and Jeremy on the table during breakfast this morning), Jeremy's numbness and this town's excessive need for ridiculous and over the top celebrations, honoring events long since passed, studying couldn't have been a more welcome reprieve.

To be honest, high school itself was a nice distraction as well — which it hadn't been when I'd gone the first time around — I remained on edge.

Although, Caroline had stepped back, giving me some space, I knew she was still considering what she should do with me. Was aware I was trying to keep her at a distance. She couldn't have realized exactly what I was planning, although it wasn't hard to guess.

I was studying for my SAT tests— it shouldn't be so hard to figure out, but of course, Caroline had other things to worry about.

With Tyler being her not-so-official boyfriend (why the hell were they being this secretive this time around) and Bonnie's sudden disappearance, worrying about the girl who'd taken over her best friend's body seemed to have taken a backseat.

As for Bonnie disappearing (while leaving a message she needed some space to figure everything out) didn't seem that out of character to me, Caroline had been adamant for her to come back.

I on the other hand— I was still not totally sure Bonnie didn't have something to do with Grayson's death. Nor did I know if Caroline might have had a hand in it, but according to John it didn't look like a vampire had done it (something about hesitation marks and the length of injury that didn't add up), yet instead the investigation was still going strong.

That, according to John, was another sign it didn't have anything to do with the supernatural.

Still, I wasn't exactly sure. Opposed to what he'd promised, John hadn't been so forthcoming with information as I'd hoped he would and I could do little more than take his word on it.

I supposed I didn't really have to time to figure it out either. Somehow, I wondered how numb I was starting to go too. How close I was getting to crossing that line where I finally completely stopped caring. At first, I'd wanted to create a better world for the people in this show. And perhaps, I still wanted that, but I was only a human.

A human with a dead girl's face—

Even if that dead girl's face was both my greatest power as it was my downfall—

And then — finally — the day of the SAT test came by. I was nervous. I was terrified. The exams held at Albemarle High School, was located just out Charlottesville and only one train and one bus ride away from Mystic Falls.

I had Googled the test location beforehand. It was a large roundish building with graceful stone pillars that seemed to hold up the entire ceiling. I had looked at the picture so often, the building was practically engraved into my brain.

When the train pulled into Charlottesville, I jumped to my feet. My hands found purchase in the hem of my shirt and as the doors slid open, I stepped onto the platform.

Among the sea of commuters I was barely even noticed and I was glad for it. In Mystic Falls everyone knew me. Or knew my face. So, instead, I basked in the anonymity. Passing the ticket machines, I made my way outside, following an old, arguing couple.

It was an unseasonable warm day, the sky a clear cerulean blue and the sun bright. Excitement churned low in my belly and with my lips pressing tightly together I turned towards the bus stop.

I had been here before. I thought it was during a Holliday when I'd been a child, but I did remember the old-fashioned train racks and the busy streets.

The bus was already waiting when I turned a corner and quickened my pace. Buses rumbled up and down the bus lanes, passing me as I boarded the one I needed. The chauffeur smiled as I hurried inside. The bus drove past the houses and I gripped the back of the seat in front of me.

It was a short ride. Barely even ten minutes, but the passing minutes felt like hours. When the bus pulled up at my stop, I was feeling jittery and nervous. With shaking hands, I clambered off the bus and for a moment, just stood still in front of the Albemarble High School building. If I managed to ace these tests, I could get a future. Two more months before I turned eighteen—

I could manage that. I could go and visit universities and colleges. I could visit several, think of good reasons to stay away and perhaps even get John's permission.

I didn't think he would be against me going after a degree. And, I didn't doubt for a second he wouldn't win his plea for custody and a man who'd left Mystic Falls years ago might be easier to persuade when his daughter wants the same.

Inhaling deeply, I scraped my courage together and stalked inside. The hallway was crowded, and I was surrounded by scared — I'd even say terrified — students.

Tucking my hair behind my ears, I crossed the hall joining a queue at the other side. The central hall was a fishball today — or perhaps it always was — and I curled my fingers tightly around the straps of my bag. Finally, a faculty member; a rather handsome man with a square jaw and a straight nose, holding onto a clipboard doing a name call.

When mine is called I keep my smile plastered across my face. I was told to find my seat in the back of the room before waved off into a classroom.

It's a cramped space with an exam table up against the windows to one side and twenty or so little tables covering the center and back of the room. I let my eyes slide through it, flickering over the tables, over the white little name tags with dark block lettering, until finally I noticed my name.

Making my way to my table, I plopped down my bag and sat down with my legs crossed at the ankles.

To be honest, everything in this room made me think of a normal college exam and I breathed out slowly. It felt— familiar. It felt normal.

I listened half-heartily as a heavy-browed, grey-haired woman in a frumpy yellow-black tweed suit stepped in the center of the room. Explaining the rules of the test — as if it wasn't fairly black-and-white —, several colleagues stepped forwards, starting to hand out the paper exams. There were distant sounds coming from the street and I bit my lip, praying I would do good on this test.

It was a big step to an independent future—

I jotted down my name, licking my lips and when the time started, quickly scanned all the questions. This was a big step to an independent future. At least, it gave me the kind of credentials to make something of my life—

And I could do this. I could— And I would.

To be continued…

A/N: I'm sorry, this might feel a bit like a filler chapter, but I promise, it had important elements. Besides, I wanted to include some normal human problems, so, voila, wisdom teeth removal. Besides, the final installment had fully begun and Miranda being hospitalized or another adult trying to reign Elena in are the least of her worries. And what did you all think about the SAT's?

I love to hear what you all thought about this one! Feel free to leave a comment!

Next update might be a bit earlier. I will be very busy upcoming weekend and I might not have WIFI, so, expect the next chapter in three or four days.

Thank you for reading!