Title: After All This Time
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 8.9k
Summary: See, you've never really been one for bright ideas. Sure, you're phenomenal at revenge plans and being a total bitch, but when it comes to genuinely decent ideas, you're lacking to say the least. But this one? This one could actually work.
Notes: Interesting to see where some of you think this is heading! Thank you for all your reviews :)
/
It's a month later, and you're going back to Lima tonight.
It's been thirty days of texting Brittany, Kurt, and everyone else and you even have a group chat where you share funny social media posts and moments in your lives with each other, just to keep up to date and in touch. It's comforting and nice, and you start thinking that empty space is being filled when Artie sends in that someone wants to buy the rights to the film and distribute it online for public usage and you all agree Sugar's club opening is a place to celebrate that.
It's a little scary, but you all agree to accept the offer and since then, which was two weeks ago, you've received a couple hundred dollars every couple of days, and you've been putting into a savings account as you make good money at work, and that's keeping up your day to day needs. The life you have is so different to when you first moved to New York, but it's better now and you can handle it and you haven't had a nervous breakdown or cried yourself to sleep in like, a week or something.
(You've suffered a few issues when you've been hit on by people at the bar, knowing you could actually do something about it now if you wanted to.)
(It's a shift that you hadn't expected, and you're still trying to figure out how to deal with it, but you don't have the dooming pressure of suspecting Brittany might feel something toward you and doing something would fuck it up because it wouldn't… But you still politely decline the offer to fuck a girl's brains out when she comes in with a hen party.)
(Just because.)
But anyway, you don't watch the porno online, even though all your friends do – Brittany doesn't say she has, but you assume she probably has if everyone back in Lima has – and it's only when you're sat at the bar, waiting for Mercedes to finish her shift so you can go to the airport – she kind of invited herself on the trip after Cassie reluctantly said yes, claiming she needed a vacation even if it's to Ohio – that you find out that you haven't gotten away with your city friends knowing about your other interests.
Which shouldn't be a surprise as it's a hit online according to Artie and getting hundreds of thousands of views already, but it's the way it happens that catches you so off guard.
Mostly because it's your boss that fucking finds out about it and confronts you whilst you're waiting for Mercedes to come out.
"Didn't know you were an actress, Lopez," Cassie casually comments, wandering out from her office and your entire body freezes when you process her words, turning your head to watch her come over and stop next to you, her cell phone in hand and eyes narrowed as they stare you out.
"What?"
It's at that moment that Mercedes finishes up, coming out from the back room and shakes her hair out, adjusting her weave as she joins you two, but you're stuck. You don't know why Cassie just said that and the only reason you can think of is that she's seen what you think she's seen, but surely not. Surely she isn't into porn and hasn't happened upon the porno you were involved with, even though you're not ashamed but you just aren't ready to deal with the consequences of these friends finding out.
Everyone back in Ohio was in it, so you didn't have to explain that, and you remember how you, Kurt and Brittany all reacted when you found out that Blaine Anderson was a pornstar at that high school reunion, and it wasn't good. There's always judgement when you're associated with something like that, but you're also alarmingly aware that you're not entirely usual down there, like the other girls and that's also something you're going to have to explain if you're suspicions that Cassie knows about the damn thing are true.
But you don't know that, and you used to aspire to be an actress, even if it sort of didn't go the way you'd initially planned. Not that you can't still chase dreams of doing that still, but putting a mark like that in your record is something that'll stick if you become famous. Kim Kardashian made it work, so did Lindsay Lohan and a plethora of other celebrities even if they were sex tapes not pornos, but maybe you don't need to panic about that and instead hold back on spilling something that may not even be a thing right now.
You don't want to assume anyone knows anything.
"Where are you two going again?" Cassie follows up, not answering your question and smirking as she glances at Mercedes who just looks confused between you, eyes flitting around.
"To Ohio…" Mercedes slowly responds, obviously picking up on the rigidity of your body now but not knowing why. She leans against the counter and glances between you and Cassie who are just locked into a staring contest. "Santana's friend is opening up a bar and it's like this one, so we wanted to go for support," she explains but her voice trails off and she purses her lips, voice stronger this time when she speaks. "What's going on?"
What's going on is that you think your boss knows you were in a porn film, and if she's seen it, she not only has proof and God knows how she's going to react to that, but she's also aware of the situation you have between your legs and you're not sure how to feel about that either. It's not like you're ashamed, just like you aren't ashamed of starring in an X rated movie, but it's not exactly normal and you haven't had a situation like this in over a decade.
The last person you cared about that you revealed your secret to was Brittany when you were 16 and got a boner during a sleepover at hers and couldn't talk your way out of it. The people who found out after starring in a porno with you weren't your friends, so you didn't care if it bothered them, and they were told about it pretty much right away. Puck even wanted to hook up with you despite that, but it still isn't the same as this.
"No other reason?" Cassie continues, her voice pitching up and you swallow thickly, tearing your gaze to the floor as Cassie begins playing with her phone. You don't need to see it to know what you think is on there, and then you're cornered. No way you're talking yourself out of this one. "Like to celebrate a movie release, perhaps?"
Mercedes, who is entirely confused, scans the room, seeing that it's empty still but then draws her attention to you, and you feel the heat of her stare as you try to not answer any of your bosses questions. You can't reveal that she's on the trail of something on the off chance she's bluffing, but you also don't know what to say to steer this conversation off track. But she's persistent at the best of times, and you know that this is probably going the way you don't want it to.
"A movie? What kind of movie?"
You suck your lips into your mouth at the question, hearing the other women shuffle about and when you look back up, Mercedes is sidling up next to Cassie and trying to peer over her shoulder at the phone, but the blonde pulls it to her chest and cocks her head to the side as she stares at you again.
"Remember a while back, Lopez," she starts and you allow your eyes to dart around the room, too nervous to look back at your boss. Again, you think you know where this is going. "I asked you if you knew Blaine Anderson?"
Fear spikes your body. Yup. You're cornered. "Uh… Yeah, I think so."
"Who's Blaine Anderson?" Mercedes chimes in but Cassie shrugs her off and takes a step towards you. Because you're on the stool still, she's towering over you and it feels like she's ten feet tall right now, dangling a secret over your head and there's nothing you can do about it.
"Blaine is a dear friend of mine," Cassie draws out, smirking as she looks back to Mercedes whose brows are furrowed and jaw slack. "But he's also an adult film star," the blonde explains, and Mercedes mouth drops even further open, vision flitting to you like she's beginning to piece something together. "As it turns out, Santana knows him, too… Which she decided not to tell me when I asked her."
See, there's a reason why you try not to lie any more and it's because secrets always come out. You thought you could tightly conceal the feelings and repress everything you felt towards Brittany, hoping it would eventually go away but that ended in a whole mess of crap and so why wouldn't this? This isn't half as bad as admitting you're in love with your best friend, and in retrospect, you probably should've considered that your friends and your boss would find out about the porno.
You could probably search your name on the internet, and it come up with a small biography put together by some pervy nerd in his mom's basement somewhere, but you haven't tried that and again, maybe you should've done. That could've helped you here.
Still, despite feeling hot and stuffy and very much like you're a rabbit surrounded by wolves, you don't want to spill out the truth as there's still a possibility that Cassie's bluffing and just caught wind of something Blaine said – she says they're friends and in contact – and is trying to peel it out of you. You're not one to back down from a challenge either, and like you said, you're not ashamed so either outcome is one you think you could probably deal with.
Not to mention you don't think Cassie is bluffing, as she's smirking at you, phone clutched to her chest and waiting for you to spew some bullshit or talk your way out of it. If you admit that you know him, maybe it'll call her (potential) bluff and you can skip out on this.
"Okay, fine," you huff and wave your hands up, letting them fall heavily in your lap like you've waving the white flag. "You got me… I know Blaine. I used to go to high school with him," you admit, and Cassie doesn't blink, just continues and you seethe internally. She definitely knows. "And there's something else, but I'm guessing you already know that."
You don't know much about the porn industry, but you're guessing someone with your situation and a professional first attempt at a movie has probably caught someone's eye. Artie didn't say much when he said someone wanted to buy the rights to it, mostly because they had all the business meetings back in Ohio and you're in New York, so you weren't privy to everything, but you're now kind of pissed that you didn't go back for that instead of this stupid club opening. Now you've got to explain to your boss, and Mercedes – who you were going to talk to when you were alone and on the plane together and that'd probably be more appropriate then the story being told for you – what the hell is going on and the real truth behind everything.
"Oh, yeah… I know something else."
The words hit you cold and hard, and you stare at the ceiling, trying to find the will to leave. Mercedes is still entirely confused, but now stood beside Cassie and you want to apologise to her for the way she's found out, but Cassie's making that really freaking hard. On her phone is probably the link, or even the pre-loaded movie on a X rated site and that's going to be evidence to anything you try to lie about, so you decide to just go for broke. Not like, too open, but enough that it shows you don't care.
"Want to enlighten everyone then?" You chirp, raising your eyebrows but Cassie just grins evilly, pulling her phone away and handing it over to you, like she wants you to do the honours.
You take it, chewing on your bottom lip but you don't look at the screen, and instead glance at Mercedes. She's been a good friend to you, and you don't want her to be hurt that you didn't share this information, but you wanted to find the opportune moment and your freaking boss has just taken it away from you.
"I might have been in the same industry as Blaine, for a brief stint."
Cassie just grins wider, her plan coming together but you don't miss the way her eyes drop down to the phone, like she wants you to show the proof. You fucking hate her right now, but you got caught and it really was just a matter of time before you spilled the beans. Mercedes just reaches out and bats you in the shoulder in disbelief, her face showing the same emotion and you roll your eyes at how dramatically she jiggles around in her spot like she's just been told the grass isn't green and she's been colourblind this entire time.
"Shut. The. Fuck. Up." Mercedes blurts out, words paused for extra drama, and you roll your eyes, folding your arms over your chest, phone tucked beneath your armpit. "Seriously? You made a porno?"
"Oh, it gets better…" Cassie interrupts and tactfully reaches beneath your arm, snatching the cell from your grasp and you click your tongue. Damn, she's quick. "Santana was in a porno, and produced it, too."
Mercedes hits at your shoulder a few more times until you swat her away, and her mouth is as wide open as it can be, eyes too and you just want to get over this reaction so you can get to the real truth of it and explain your side. Sure, you've just admitted that you were in a porno, but you are yet to discuss your situation down there. The porno is just the tip of the freaking iceberg and to be honest, admitting you fucked on camera isn't the hardest thing for you to discuss.
"No freaking way! Oh my God… Who with? Where is it? Can we see it?"
Cassie laughs manically and holds over the phone in her hand, full well knowing what she's doing and keeping eye contact as she does so, but you just run your tongue along your teeth, entirely unimpressed but also slightly proud that she has the balls to do something like this. That was a total Santana Lopez move and you would commend her if you weren't so damn pissed that you've got to reveal two secrets that might change their entire opinion of you.
You've just made this place feel like home, and you really don't want to think about moving back to Ohio or to another city and spending four months building another freaking life.
So you just want to get it out there before they get mad at you for keeping your dick a secret. That's kind of a big deal.
"Look, just let me explain–"
"Shut up," Cassie hisses as you, waving you off with her hand and you suck in a deep breath, swallowing the explanation. She pulls the phone up and Mercedes shifts over until she can peek over and this time, your boss let's her. "We're watching it."
Time to face the music.
/
You sit there on the stool, just watching their reactions, frozen in spot.
You know by the large gasp at the beginning of the last scene (as they skipped through the other few in favour of finding yours) that your not-so-little secret between your legs is out, and you haven't had to do this in a while, or as an adult, so you're not really sure how to feel. The last time anyone found out, Brittany was super chill about it and even showed a little intrigue, but you were dorky and had thick spectacles and acne-ridden skin and you just ran to the bathroom and cried in humiliation, but it's not like you can do that now.
You're a big girl. You can deal with douchebags and you're fiery and kind of bitch, so you can face these two if they don't react well as it's not the hardest thing you've ever faced. Half your childhood was spent moving around various foster households as you were kind of a tyrant, and you got out of that mostly intact so this will be a walk in the park. You'll just have to swallow it, delete their numbers from your phone and never come back to this bar. You did it with a bunch of people you cared about for years, so you could probably do it again if you were forced to, even though the door is looking really tempting right about now.
But after a long fifteen minutes, both their eyebrows are up by their hairlines, mouths wide open and you know it's too late to just bail and not have to deal with them, as their focus is now very much on you.
"I can explain," you start, voice strained and throat thick and you swallow against it, breathing harder than you were a second ago.
You can't read their expressions. You don't know if it's shock, fear, or hidden anger and you need to know because you palms are super fucking sweaty and you're now really hot, despite being in a light jacket and a tank. The heating isn't even on as it's the middle of freaking Spring, and you think you might need to lean over the bar and grab a bottle of tequila to get through this, but airline security probably wouldn't be too happy with you vomiting on the flight and there's no way you wouldn't down the entire thing should you be given the chance.
"Don't think you need to," Mercedes croaks and Cassie looks to her, bobbing her head slowly as she slips out of the shocked state she was in.
You just hold your breath, and it's totally not what you were expecting to hear when your boss speaks next.
"Biggest I've seen in a while, Lopez… Impressive," Cassie comments, pressing her lips together and lifting one brow, like she's totally approving of it and it's your turn to be shocked. What the fuck did she just say?
"We've been calling you Satan all this time," Mercedes cuts in, her tone light and playful and she matches the blondes face but nodding her head like she's agreeing. "When we really should've been calling you Spanish Mumba," she jokes, eyes darting down to your crotch and you choke, eyes bugging open as your head lowers towards them, in total disbelief that they're being so fucking okay with it.
"You know it wasn't like… A strap on, right?" You counter, not being privy to telling people you care about, but full well knowing that it's the sort of thing that could totally put someone off you.
Not because you'd whack it out in public or slap them with it in their sleep, but because you can't get changed around them and sometimes get awkward boners. You know it's just like hanging out with anyone else, and it really doesn't matter what's in your pants as it's not like they're going to see it, but some people are assholes like that, and you've dealt with your fair share of judgement with various people.
"Oh girl, I can tell a real one from a mile away," Mercedes chortles and Cassie scrunches up her face, tucking her phone back into her pocket and folding her arms over her chest, laughing with her.
"Me too, Lopez… I'm beginning to get intrigued."
You scoff in disgust at your boss – she's so straight it hurts and you're still a woman and so not attracted to her, despite her basically being your type down to a T – but it just makes it so much easier because they really don't care, nor have they changed their opinion of you and you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding as they go back to the phone and rewind the clip, watching the other scenes quickly.
You're glad for that. It gives you a moment to process everything.
/
"Here, Satan," Mercedes says, sliding a shot over to you with a soft smile. "You can chill out now."
After watching the rest of the porno, but skipping through the talking parts, they were both firing questions your way about who everyone was and how the whole thing came about, and you explained with (mostly) no issue. They didn't ask about your scene, as you made a point not to answer Cassie when she asked who the hot blonde was and you said you'd talk about the porno if your scene wasn't the centre of topic. Still, she tried, with no avail, and you just shrugged and warned them you wouldn't talk anymore which made Cassie shut up and instead pester you over details revolving Puck and Sam.
They're kind of gross, but apparently she has a thing for big dicks and they're packing, too, so you guess it's not surprising.
But anyway, you take the shot and throw it back, wincing as it slides into your stomach and Mercedes laughs, rounding the bar and grabbing her suitcase, wheeling it along to join you. You've had a few shots after admitting that you were downright terrified to admit that you were in a porno, but you also have a dick and that was when Mercedes said you needed some liquid confidence because they were totally okay with it.
As long as you didn't knock anyone up with it or pretend like it's a fake one to lure some innocent chick into the sack, which you wholeheartedly agreed to because that's so not your style.
Prior to Brittany, you used to get laid all the time and they just haven't seen that side of you, yet. You've kept to yourself as much as you can in the four months you've been here and not exactly been in the right mindset to take some nameless blonde home and fuck her brains out. You don't know when you'll be ready, as it's going to be hard not to compare what it felt like with Brittany, but you know the time will come.
You're just not searching for it and you're moving at your own pace.
Anyway, you stand from your stool, folding your jacket over your arm as you took it off when you had a flush of relief at their reactions, and pause when Mercedes doesn't immediately follow you as you head towards the door. You thought she was cool with your situation, and you start to panic when you see her waiting behind like she isn't coming at all and begin thinking that maybe she's weirded out, but trying not to be and now doesn't want to go.
"Wheezy?" You call, her eyes flashing to you. "You coming still?"
Mercedes nods but then a smile grows across her face as Cassie comes whipping out from the back, apparently not to continue the paperwork like she said, with a suitcase in hand, her hair tied up and sunglasses on her head, looking so different to the tough faced bitch you're used to. Your jaw goes slack, shock setting in for like, the hundredth time tonight and the blonde quickly grabs a pre-poured shot off the bar top, tipping it back before whisking over towards you with Mercedes in toe.
"What are you doing?" You ask, eying her suspiciously but she just breezes past, stopping at the door and grabs the arm of her sunglasses, tipping them down her nose to peer over the rim at you.
"Coming with you," she shrugs. "Let's go girls," she quips and grins and you know what that means after the confusion disappears. She's inviting herself along. "We've got some porn stars to meet."
You groan but Mercedes just tugs you by the arm and you all head out the bar.
You don't think you have a say in it.
/
Everything speeds by, and before you know it, you're back in Lima.
On the flight over, you decided to hire out a small flat on some rental site as a hotel with three of you and a twin room wasn't going to work out, and you haven't updated any of your friends including Brittany, or Kurt, or even Artie, about where you're staying, in fear that they'll ask why you need to change from the local hotel down the road from the bar. That was the last place you were supposed to go, but you still send a message on the group chat to say that you've landed safely.
Everyone replies with party emojis, and Brittany puts in a red-cheeked smiley face that makes your stomach flip, but you can't deny that you're excited to see her again, if a little nervous. Since being back in New York, you were texting her pretty much every day, checking in on what she was doing and how the club was looking as Sugar decided to do some last minute renovations, and it's been good. It's been easy, not like it used to be, but enough that you think you two are on good terms and you don't feel half as bad as you did when you came back here four weeks ago.
Still, after telling everyone on the group that you'll be coming for drinks tonight but need to freshen up first, you put down your phone only for a second, picking it up when it buzzes immediately and you see a private message from Brittany on the screen, quickly flicking open the lock to read it.
How was the flight? - B xx
You already said you landed safely so that kind of answers the question, but you know it was just an in for Brittany to talk to you and you'll allow it because you're going to be seeing her in a few hours. If you can talk up until then and play along with this friendly thing that's new and terrifying, maybe it won't seem like such a big deal when you walk into the bar and see her again. Maybe you can even hug her without jelly legging to the floor, and it's giving you a missed feeling of comfort, like she's your very own anxiety blanket.
Was good. A little turbulence but nothing too bad - S xx
Brittany doesn't take a minute to reply, shooting a response straight back and you read over it a few times, not sure why the conversation is leading this way seeing as Brittany doesn't have a car and likes to walk everywhere, so if it's an offer, you're not sure what she's proposing.
Good. Do you need picking up later? B - xx
You hover for a second, sparing a quick glance at Cassie and Mercedes in the back of the cab as they point out the window to the 'quaint stores' that you know they're looking down on. You don't know where they came from, but you're assuming a city of some sort like Chicago or LA because apparently Lima is like the cutest place they've ever seen, but you're way too distracted with figuring out a reply as you don't know why Brittany's asking.
No, we're good thanks. Gonna head to the place we rented for a few hours then walk over. It's not far – S xx
The second you get the reply, a lightbulb appears over your head, and you get why she's steering it this way. She wants to know where you're staying.
Where is it? - B xx
As much as you'd like to tell her, you know what happened the last time she knew where you were staying, and should something go south, you want to be able to get some space in a place where no-one can find you, even if Cassie and Mercedes could reveal it. But you're hoping you've opened up enough on the flight over, sparing little bits of information about your friends and distracting them with old photos of you on set that various people took behind the scenes, recording the process of making the porno, that they've picked up on your want of secrecy and you're going to have faith in them for now.
They've already proved they like you enough to not instantly ditch you over the whole dick and porn film situation, so you think they'll support you on this, should anything bad come about.
Anyway, you know that you can't tell Brittany, and you're pretty sure no-one you used to know lived in the place, so you keep your answer vague and skirt around the specific location of the apartment. Not that you think anything like last time will happen with Brittany following you, as you're so not going to sleep with her if the situation arises and not a single part of you has even considered that (apart from right now) but it's better to be safe than sorry.
Down on West Elm – S xx
You tap on the side of your phone, chewing the side of your lip as you eagerly await a response and pray to the heavens that Brittany's not going to get mad or call you out on how suspicious you're being. You have your reasons, and you're kind of hoping she gets them as you're still human, and it's only been a month so it's not like you've totally fallen out of love with her – just avoided all potential thoughts surrounding it – so you hope she does understand without you having to explain. That'd make seeing her later so much more awkward.
That's vague… But I'll take it;) – B xx
The wink emoji makes your thighs pinch together, but you don't think she's flirting with you even though your mind wanders that way. This is just Brittany, and she's probably trying to be the person she used to be around you so it's not super fucking weird when you meet again – which won't help as that's the person you fell in love with as a teenager – but whatever. If she can be comfortable like this, so can you.
But you don't get to reply, laughing along with it and maybe even throwing in your own wink emoji before another text comes through and you pause, scanning the screen.
You're definitely coming tonight though, right? – B xx
Technically, bar the group chat, you haven't actually confirmed that you'll definitely be there tonight. Sure, being in the same town as her and telling everyone you've arrived safely and have to freshen up first, kind of explains it by itself but you think she's asking you for a reason. You've been quite happily skating around the edge of this newfound friendship, avoiding the unknown and that's meant not updating her with every single thing that happens in your life despite texting daily, fearing it might lead her to think that you're still a complete simpleton over her.
Which, you are, but you don't want to talk about that. That's on the list of things you're strictly avoiding discussing, which also includes sex. That's another no go.
Wouldn't miss it. Got two of my girls with me, and they're super eager to meet real life porn stars – S xx
You did mention to Brittany (before when you were texting as you got on the plane but shut up) that you had told a couple people back in the city about the film and your situation, after basically being cornered, but you didn't go into too much detail who they were. Not for any specific reason, but the opportunity just passed and now you're a little worried Brittany's going to read into your last text too much and think that your two girls means something more than your boss and work colleague.
Sure, they're your friends, but there's no like, potential there, but you don't want Brittany thinking that and her getting awkward when you see each other as that'll lead you into the zone you've been skirting around. That kind of conversation could make you say something stupid, or defensive, or maybe even pull out that you're totally not over her as you've been checking your phone every ten minutes since you woke up this morning to see if she's messaged, because that would ruin everything.
And again, that's not what you came back for. You're here for Sugar and her club opening and to celebrate the success of your X rated movie with the lead stars.
You're broken from your thoughts when your phone buzzes, and you take in the text on it, frowning because it's not what you were expecting.
It'll be nice to meet your girls. See you later, San – B x
It's a blunt way of ending a conversation. Not to mention there's one less kiss than there was in the previous texts, but you're quickly distracted when the cab pulls up and you're urged out the door, Mercedes slapping your ass when it sticks in her face as you clamber on to the sidewalk.
You grab your bags, Cassie deals with paying the driver – you're kind of glad she came along now as she makes the most money out of all of you (she owns the bar) and has paid for your snacks, the cab and everything else since you landed in Columbus – and you head up into the apartment above a row of stores, punching in the keycode sent to you in an email and making a beeline for the furthest room.
You saw it was next to the fire escape from the street, and you kind of like having a smoke when you get home from a night of drinking, and that seems like the appropriate place to do it. Plus, it's the biggest room as you find out when you wander into it, staring wide eyed at the décor as it's a little hippy, but there's a huge king sized bed sitting proudly in the centre of the room, and it looks so much more comfortable than your one back in the city, so you're good.
Well, until Cassie bursts in and Mercedes follows, admiring the room and scowling at you fiercely like you knew the room you wanted before you got here. You didn't, as it was the only place that was available to rent at such short notice, so you didn't even bother flicking through the pictures supplied online, but you're grinning smugly back at them as you throw down your suitcase and unzip it, flicking open the lid to reveal a few outfits for tonight.
(You forget about replying to Brittany's text.)
(Well, no, you don't, but you don't want to say something stupid.)
(You're nervous enough as it is.)
/
You stare at yourself in the floor length mirror, eyes trailing up and down your outfit.
You've never been to the opening night of a bar before, especially one of your friends, and you don't really know how you're supposed to dress up for it. You know it has dancers on the bar and singers, much like the one you and your friends work at but probably classier as you're has a hillbilly feel to it, but you won't be the one on the bar this time and so that calls for something other than a pair of jean shorts and a tank top.
So, you've decided to go smart but casual. You're wearing a little black dress – it's a classic – and you're trying not to look too good, scared that it'll make someone come over and hit on you, but you're hot and you know it. Mercedes and Cassie do too, as they both raised their eyebrows at your choice when you were all together earlier, but they're yet to see you in it and you're a little nervous to see their reaction.
Mostly because if they find you attractive in it, the chances are Brittany is going to as well and that's so not something you can handle after not seeing her for a month.
It's not like you can go in a trash bag though, so this will have to do, and you shake calm into your body, putting a layer of lip gloss on before heading out your room with a small crop jacket in hand to find your friends already in the front room. Two pairs of eyes snap to you, widening as they take you in and Mercedes cheers, Cassie bobs her head with a smirk, and you roll your eyes at them as you head towards the front door.
"You guys ready to go?"
"Yeah."
"Yes, Satan… We've been ready for a half hour," Mercedes replies and winks at you.
She slaps your ass as you leave the apartment all together, making your way down to the lobby and into the street. It's a warm night, so you just clutch your jacket in your hand, and you all walk in sync until you feel a pair of eyes on you and turn to find Cassie peering around Mercedes towards you, and you just know she wants to say something. You've felt her eyes on you since you came out of your room, and you want to get it out there before you get to the club, and she says something inappropriate.
Not that she could embarrass you – you're maxed out with the whole between-the-legs and porno situation to feel that specific emotion anymore – but you'd rather get her to say whatever she wants before she meets all your friends from your hometown.
"Spit it out," you hiss, cocking a brow her way and she grins.
"You're nervous," she comments, and you look ahead, pretending that no, you're not, but you know you are.
You took half an hour longer to get ready than them, tried on three different outfits and bolted straight for the door when you came out. You're not about hanging around today. You just want to get to the bar and see everyone (read: her) and relax and you don't think even if you tried you could stop being on edge.
See, the thing is, is since you've been back in the city, you've maintained contact with everyone. You've been texting Brittany pretty much non-stop and there was even a video call one night, when there was a repeat of a finale of a series you two used to watch together as teenagers, and the blonde called you and asked if you could watch it together, but through the phone. Admittedly, you were a little caught off guard and had just got back from a run, but Brittany said she'd wait while you showered, and it was actually really nice and normal for the hour or two you were on call for.
However, you're super fucking aware that you've been comfortable with it as you were building a friendship from afar. You're drawn to her like a magnet when you're around her, and you know you have to change the way you used to be because that isn't appropriate anymore. Neither of you can act like you used to, even if you always end up slipping into that familiarity, but it's making you nervous because all it will take is one touch from her and you'll melt into a pathetic puddle on the floor and that's so not what you need when you're here to support Sugar and attend this club opening.
So, you choose to play it off. You won't admit that yeah, you are, but you're also not going to lie and say you aren't just in case you have to leave early or something.
"My boss is about to meet people I filmed a porno with," you state, throwing Cassie a glare. "That's pretty nerve-wracking."
Cassie laughs and shakes her head, but she doesn't push anymore and it's only a few minutes until you're seeing the club down the street. It's all very Sugar – a large red carpet with photographers lining the sides behind velvet ropes leading to a VIP entrance – and there's literally hundreds of people queuing up to get inside. You don't know how Sugar knows this many people, or how she got them here considering this is freaking Lima, Ohio, but you suppose with great money comes great popularity, so it isn't farfetched to think that people flew in to see what she did with her daddy's money.
Not like if this business doesn't succeed it'll harm her. The girl's family is borderline billionaires.
One of the security guards notices you three arrive, and he grabs his clipboard, scanning down it with sunglasses on – despite the sun going down an hour ago – and you tell him your name, adding you've bought two friends and he doesn't protest. You see something scribbled beside your name on the guest list and go to ask him but then you're being whisked away by someone in a purple blazer and down the red carpet, blinking at the flashing lights as the photographers take you're picture and then you're inside.
The interior matches the outside in colour scheme, and you consider that maybe Artie's helped with the decoration or at least the ideas as it kind of looks like his basement with the neon lights and alien spaceship vibes, but when you get into the main VIP room, all you see is Sugar. There's pink everywhere, with hearts and leopard print rugs tacked on to the wall. It's not your taste, and a total opposite to your bar back in the city – a rustic wood theme goes a long way with wannabe cowboys and cowgirls – but it stands out so much that you reckon it'll prove popular in Lima, even if it kind of reminds you of a cheap strip club.
But anyway, the VIP room is packed full of familiar faces (and a few unfamiliar) when you wander in, and everyone cheers on your entrance. Your city friends stay behind you as you head over to your other friends, spying Spencer, Dani, Holly, Artie and even Puck – who winks at you before wrapping you up in a hug – and you breathe out a sigh of relief after doing the same with everyone else. When you're done, you spin around to introduce your big city friends, but Puck's already sliding in, having met Mercedes briefly, and bows down, offering his hand out for her to take it.
"It was Mercedes, the African Queen, right?" He grins, and Mercedes rolls her eyes but laughs, Cassie stepping forward and fluttering her lashes as she puts her hand into the guys. You knew your boss liked the sound of Puck, and saw what he's packing, but you've never seen her make a move on anyone and it just makes you want to laugh, too.
"Yeah, heard you've met Mercy, but you haven't met me... I'm Cassie," she purrs and lifts her hand up in his chest, gesturing for him to kiss it which he does, and you try not to vomit. You're pretty sure he's still dating Sugar, and this is her club opening and that's totally inappropriate, but so not your funeral and you're about to say that, alongside saying the names of the people you think your city friends already know – they watched the porno again when you were getting ready to familiarise themselves apparently – when two people catch your eye, wandering in from the side.
And your heart stops.
It happens in slow motion, and everyone goes dead silent – or maybe the thudding inside your ribcage is too loud for you to hear anything else – and you swallow thickly as Kurt and Brittany notice the small gathering around you, blue eyes zoning in on you instantly. A small smile pulls across Brittany's face, but she ducks her head and looks up bashfully through her lashes, and you have to grab on to Mercedes to steady yourself when they come over slowly, catching on to the tail end of the introductions you were supposed to be doing, but couldn't.
Probably for the best. Had you started talking, you would've stopped mid-sentence because Brittany just walked into the fucking room, looking like a dream, and stealing all of your focus.
(Four months of being away from her, and that still hasn't changed.)
(You honestly don't know how long or what it'll take for you to stop reacting to her like this.)
"And who are these two?" Mercedes says, nudging your hand away from her to gain your attention and your eyes snap back to her, chest stuttering as you try to focus on what's going on and what you're supposed to be doing. Judging by the several stares you're receiving, you're going to assume that everyone is allowing you to introduce the other two – for obvious reasons – and you clear your throat, ignoring the heat in your cheeks and sweep your hand over to Kurt.
(Got to save the best until last.)
"This is Kurt," you start, voice strained and Brittany's lip tugs up further like she knows what you're doing as she joins the group, pulling her hair over one shoulder.
You don't even know what you're doing, but she probably does. That annoyingly comfortable familiarity is already seeping in, and you haven't even been around her for more than 30 seconds and this is so not what you were hoping for – you can feel your chest loosening just because you're near her once more – because it's just a stark reminder that it may have been a while, but you still feel the same.
God. How are you ever going to get over her?
"And t-that's Brittany," you stutter, cursing yourself for stammering over your words and how softly her name left your mouth, unlike Kurt's, but you choose not to linger on it, and you really want to hug her, and Kurt, like you did with the others, but you don't get to as Kurt is sidling up to Cassie next to you, taking her hand and looking her up and down, throwing Mercedes a wink as he does so.
"You two are hot," he comments and both your city friends throw their heads back laughing as Puck agrees with a small hum, but you don't enjoy it for too long or think how nice it is that everyone's instantly getting along – Cassie is kind of a bitch, but you knew Mercedes would fit in which is why you were happy with her tagging along in the first place – before someone shouting into a microphone and you peer over the roped entrance to the VIP area to find a large stage, with Sugar on it.
She looks ridiculous. More so than usual, actually, dressed in a bright pink Barbie dress, a large feather boa, and sunglasses despite it being super freaking dark in here and you stifle a laugh, wanting to catch Brittany's reaction as Sugar is sort of her best friend now, but the smile drops from your face when you see her staring over your shoulder. You still, frowning because you have no idea why Brittany's no longer looking at you – you've been dying to see her and hoped it was the same on her side – but when you follow her gaze, you see it's set on Cassie and your head jerks back.
You've known Brittany longer than any of your other friends, and have a very in-depth of knowledge of her thanks to a long, long friendship, and if you didn't know any better, you'd say that she's–
No. Stop.
You can't finish that thought. You can't even begin to think that. You can't read into her actions too much or you'll end up heading down the same road you did last time you were here and risking becoming miserable all over again and it's not like that anymore.
The month you've spent apart has been refreshing in a way that the first three weren't, because you kept up with your all your friends back here and didn't feel so damn alone when you were in the city. Something about the last trip here has flicked something on inside of you, and you're desperately trying to get back to the person you used to be, who wasn't wholly aware of how madly in love with your best friend you are, and instead live a blissfully ignorant life and hopefully get over it at some point because she doesn't feel the same.
Except it's really fucking hard to keep that in mind when you can see the wrinkle etched between Brittany's eyebrows as she continues glaring Cassie and Mercedes direction, and she wasn't the happy-go-lucky and super friendly girl you usually see when she's introduced into new people, and that's bothering you. She's never like that. She's always the sunshine on a rainy day and makes people like her, regardless of whether they actually want to.
She's just one of those people's people, and so it's hard to figure out why she wasn't just like that when meeting your girls, seeing as you even forewarned her through text and she said she'd be happy to meet them.
As if you're speaking out loud, Brittany snaps out of her trance and then eyes are on you, blue softening into calm oceans when they connect with yours and you squint, head cocking to the side just the slightest as if to ask why she was just doing that, because you definitely saw, but then you're both snapped out of the moment when a few waiters flood in from the side and drinks are shoved into everyone's hands as Sugar begins yelling on the stage again.
And when you look back, Artie is wheeling up to Brittany and the lights are dimmed down, with music blaring over the speaker system as the night begins.
/
I'm trying to follow how they are in the show during S2 here. Think of Santana and Brittany's mindsets then if you need to envision something!