10: The Deep Roads

Beau's mind was screaming no, and the effort she was trying to make in not slicing her own throat was showing as her body trembled as it tried to both deny and obey Idunna's command. She was losing, she could see her dagger, and it was so close to her throat now. She was tilting her head back, still fighting it mentally while physically the only signs of her exertions were how slow and shaky her motions were. She was going to slit her own throat, right in front of her friends and her sister, and all they were going to do was watch.

"Anders…" she forced his name from her lips, desperation coloring her tone. "Make… her… stop!" She wasn't sure if he would even hear her, or be able to do anything about it, but there it was.

"Let go… of her!"

Beau felt his magic crashing about the room and whatever grip Idunna had had on her was gone. Instantly, her trembling hand was at Idunna's throat instead of her own. She wanted to look at Anders, to thank him, but she did not dare take her eyes off this murderous harlot.

Idunna dropped to her knees. "Spare me, messere."

"Not a chance."

"You called for me."

"I don't know why everyone insists on walking me home, I'm quite capable of doing it myself." After visiting Idunna, they had followed up on the information she had suddenly been so willing to give. Beau felt zero remorse about killing the woman right there and then afterward. They had dealt with shades, demons, and insane mages.

Mages… Isabeau sympathized with them, honestly, she did, but why did they insist on resorting to the very stuff that made them feared? Back a mage into a corner, and odds were, he or she would resort to blood magic. Where did that leave the rest of them? Screwed.

She had gotten somewhat injured by a desire demon of all things and Anders had insisted on taking her back to his clinic. When Varric had made a crack about the rest of them being hurt, Anders had insisted on them coming too. Bethany had seemed ready to take him up on the offer but Varric had laughed and excused them both, promising to 'escort Sunshine home'.

They had been silent while he patched her up, the silence was broken when he then offered to see her home, something about nighttime being dangerous. Beau would have found it amusing if not for the fact that she very consistently did dangerous things, at all hours of the day, with or without help. Her 'home' wasn't that far off now, she could see the steps leading up to Gamlen's house, dim lighting shining through the cracks in the walls. She hated that house.

"Isabeau…"

Beau stiffened when he rest a hand on her forearm, coming to a halt. He had been calling her Hawke for the most part, ever since that day they had had their 'moment', and now she was Isabeau? "Anders, I really appreciate you walking me back though it was really, really unnecessary and-"

"Why me? Why not Bethany?"

"You're more experienced than she is," it sounded logical and it was true, but the look he was giving her clearly said he wasn't buying it. "Don't make more of it than it is, Anders. You're the one who said-" Beau bit her lower lip, shutting herself up. She would not make drama or be dramatic. She would not be the stereotypical over-emotional, scorned female.

"I'm sorry… I didn't…. I didn't think." He apologized, trying not to stammer over his own words. He used to be so smooth, so charming, and now… now he felt like he was making a mess of everything. "You're right, I did say."

"Friends only."

"Yes, of course. It's for the best. I understand why you called for me, it was rude to press the issue."

He was being awkward and stiff now but it wasn't making her feel any better. Beau simply nodded, wrapping her arms around herself in a very feeble effort to ward off the chill. "Goodnight, Anders."

"Goodnight."

"Well… this is it," Bethany said, staring intently at her sister. Isabeau was dressed in her new leathers -courtesy of the excess coin she had been hoarding- and shifting from foot to foot. It was all too easy to see that she wanted to go and come back, quickly. "You don't have to do this, you know."

Beau fixed her with a piercing look. "Yes, I do."

"I don't want you to think that you have to do this for me, Beau." It had been one thing to insist they needed the gold before this moment but now Bethany wasn't so sure this was the right way to go about it. "I don't-"

"I'm doing this for all of us, not just you so don't you dare feel guilty or any other rot. I'll be fine. You just look after Mother."

"I will," knowing there would be no dissuading her, Bethany stepped back, allowing their mother to come forward.

"I'm glad you're not taking your sister."

Bethany winced from behind Leandra's back.

Beau didn't show anything she was feeling, she just looked evenly upon her mother. She loved her mother but there were times when she just wished she could shake some sense into the woman. "I know."

"You'll be careful, won't you?"

"As careful as I can be."

"Isabeau, promise me… promise me you'll come back."

Beau smiled slightly.

"I don't know how we'd survive without you."

That made more sense and Beau could feel her smile stiffening as she nodded. "Of course, Mother. Please, don't let Gamlen hurt my dog." She had wanted to take him but… she would not risk him against darkspawn again.

"Loghain will be fine."

"You named your dog Loghain?"

"Shut up, Isabela."

"I'll have a drink for you Hawke, every night, until your return." The former captain promised teasingly. "Maybe more than that, eh?"

If not for the fact that Anders had pulled her aside the night before and informed her that taking women was general a bad idea and the why of it, Beau had decided against any female but herself going. She wasn't sure what a brood mother was exactly, outside of the obvious breeding machine for darkspawn, and hopefully she'd never find out.

However, for Isabela… maybe she'd make an exception.

Venturing into the Deep Roads felt like walking straight into Hell. When Isabeau had mentioned this to Anders, he somberly informed her that she wasn't that far off the mark. She kept her initial observations to herself after that. Fenris had quietly voiced his own disapproval of the expedition but his honor hadn't allowed him to back out. All he could do was give everyone who looked at him the same stoic stare and hope he didn't die down here on this foolish, greedy trip.

The deeper they went, the more the feeling of being encased in a very large tomb became more pronounced, at least for Beau. Varric was doing a fairly reasonable job of not seeming bothered by being underground, even though he had made it clear many times he was a surface dwarf. Anders was wary, Beau was guessing prior experiences hadn't left a good impression on him.

"Ancestor's balls!"

Beau arched an eyebrow when she heard Bartrand's exclamation, wondering what had set him off this time. The dwarf was not easy to travel with by any means. He complained about absolutely everything and she had been discussing various methods of how to shut him up with Varric. Her reluctantly adjusted to the dark eyes looked ahead to see what had gotten his beard curling this time and let out a low groan. Their path was obstructed by a lot of stone.

"Collapsed," Varric said, ever the calm one. That and he liked being in control of himself while Bartrand had a fit or three.

"I can see it's collapsed! Do you know how long it will take us to clear the way? We'll be behind schedule!"

Rolling her eyes, Beau approached the elder Tethras, wondering if maybe she should give him just a little extra time to pull out more of his beard since he was tugging on it so vehemently. "How about my team does its job and we'll scout to see if there's a way around it." It wasn't a question.

"Fine, fine, go. Just hurry up!"

Motioning for Anders, Beau started towards the makeshift camp the company had set up, having every intention of hitting Bodahn up for extra supplies. "I really hope your maps can help us out here," she said flatly, ignoring the sinking feeling that was telling her they were going to spend more time down here than planned.

"There are some side passages; I have no idea what condition they are in though." He had noticed the way she had begun distancing herself from him. He knew why she was doing it and tried telling himself it was better that way; it was what he wanted. "We can try."

She nodded, approaching Bodahn who was wringing his hands and talking frantically to himself. "Everything alright?" she asked reluctantly, knowing it wasn't.

"Sandal's gone missing!"

"Sandal's gone missing," she echoed, pinching the bridge of her nose. Another complication they did not need. It didn't help that Sandal was… special. Sweet boy, gifted enchanter, but not all there in the head. "Where do you think he went?"

Bodahn pointed down a narrow opening that led away from the main passage.

"Convenient enough, we're going that way ourselves. We'll find your boy, Bodahn."

"Thank you miss, thank you!"

Varric took Ander's place at her side as they headed for the passageway after getting necessary supplies. "You know Hawke, it'd be our luck that boy is heading in the opposite direction."

"There aren't that many passages left, Varric, try not to rain on my parade."

He laughed openly at her, the sound seeming far too loud and off given their location. "That's my Hawke, always thinking on the bright side!"

"Hold still, Beau."

"Back to Beau, are we?" Beau teased, trying her best not to squirm as Anders poked and prodded the area surrounding the gaping hole in her stomach. Teasing was not easy, and she knew it sounded strained, but she was in pain and he was making it worse. And she could see he was worried so like the dolt she was, she was trying to make him feel better.

Ander's eyes flickered to meet hers for the briefest of moments before returning his attention to the wound that a very upset ogre had inflicted on her with one of its deadly horns. "What do you think you were doing? Charging that thing head-on?" He demanded in a fierce whisper, ignoring her muffled curse as he poured a healing potion right into the open hole and then began knitting the flesh back together with his magic.

"I wasn't." Sort of the truth. She had been thinking, it had all been blurry, fearful thinking, but thinking. She was terrified of ogres, not that she was admitting it ever again, once to Varric had been enough.

"We'll have to stay here for at least a few hours to let that heal somewhat properly," he informed her stiffly, turning as she reached for her bloodstained, torn shirt. When she had merely been his patient, it had been easier to look at her clinically, now was another matter. He occupied himself by gathering up the top pieces to her armor and passing them back.

Varric strolled over, polishing Bianca and not a single hair out of place on himself. "She going to live?" he asked, giving Beau a once over and nodded. "Yeah, she'll make it. Think of it this way, Hawke, there are plenty of people who find scars attractive."

She was certainly accumulating those.

"Providing she doesn't jump in front of anymore charging, horned beasts, yes, she'll live."

"In my defense," Beau began, gritting her teeth as she pushed herself to her feet, fighting back the wave of nausea and pain that threatened to overwhelm her. "I-" she stopped, realizing why she had moved in front of the ogre. She had been trying to divert its attention from Anders, who had been casting a healing spell on Fenris. There was some irony there given Fenris' dislike of magic. Anders had been unaware he was about to be plowed and being the idiot that she was, she had leaped in and gotten its attention alright, and the left horn, right through her side. "Never mind."

According to her mother, the chantry, and the Maker, pride was a sin. Beau was too proud to let him know she had done it for him and not just on a whim.

"Hawke, do you see what I'm seeing?"

Indeed, she did. Beau's eyes were fastened on the top of the alter they were approaching, her feet hardly making any noise on the stone steps as they climbed upwards. Whatever it was, it seemed to be… glowing, resonating with some sort of light. Once they -her, Varric, Anders and Fenris- were surrounding the altar, she could see it was some sort of statue, an idol. Her knowledge of dwarven artifacts was limited to what Varric had educated her on. "Is that… lyrium?" she breathed after examination.

Anders tore his gaze away from the idol to meet her curious stare, frowning slightly. "It's magic," he said slowly, glancing back down. "But I'm not sure it's the good kind."

At that, Fenris snorted. "Is there a good kind?"

Ignoring the less than happy elf, Beau looked to Varric who simply shrugged.

"It doesn't look like any kind of lyrium I've ever seen but I do think it's lyrium. Let's just hope it's valuable because it is definitely too ugly for household decoration," he said after a moment.

Footsteps made them all turn. Bartrand as coming, his beady eyes darting from one face to the other.

"Come look at this brother, an idol made out of pure lyrium, I think. Could be worth a fortune."

"Maybe."

Turning back to the idol, Beau considered it, finally reaching out a cautious hand towards it. She heard Fenris murmuring a word of caution and a sharp intake of breath from Anders but continued reaching. When her hand was wrapped around it and nothing happened, she felt that had been a bit anticlimactic, turning to extend it to Varric.

He took the idol, handling it carefully. "Not bad, Hawke, we'll keep looking around and maybe we'll find more further in." He stared at the statue a moment longer before tossing it to his brother. "It's a damn ugly thing."

Bartrand was focused on it.

"Further in? You realize your greed will be your downfall."

Varric just shook his head. "You know, you should try smiling, people might take you too seriously otherwise."

"I am serious, dwarf."

"Don't bait him, Varric," Beau pleaded, wanting to finish exploring and get out of here. She would not miss the Deep Roads once they finally returned to the surface. She had officially decided that dwarves were insane for wanting to live underground.

"He's cute when he's baited."

"Varric!"

"Uh, Isabeau?"

"What?" It still felt wrong, Anders calling her that.

Anders was pointing behind her, his mouth slack.

Spinning around, she let out a string of curses and began running down the stairs. Varric surpassed her, shouting his own choice words. The heavy stone door was closing behind Bartrand. "The door!" They all skid to a stop when the door shut with an ominous thud.

"Bartrand!" Varric began pounding at the stone with his fists, throwing in a kick for good measure. "The door shut behind you, let us out!" All ears strained to listen when they heard laugher from the other side, Beau and Varric exchanging wide-eyed looks.

"You always did notice everything, Varric."

Varric was paling beneath his tan, realizing what was going on. "Are you joking?! You're going to screw over your own brother, your flesh and blood, for stupid idol?"

"Don't be an idiot, Varric. It's not just about the idol. The location of this thaig alone is worth a fortune and I am not splitting that three ways."

"I will gladly forfeit my share if you open the door," Beau coaxed, grunting when she got Varric's pointy elbow right in her hip.

"Bartrand!"

"Sorry, brother."

"Bartrand!"

Finding their way out of that room had been interesting, mostly because Varric kept up a steady stream of curses. Most of them were colored with insults and apologies, apologies to his dead mother for using the term bitch, he used that word a lot in regard to Bartrand.

Beau had no idea what it was they were fighting, some sort of rock creatures that were unlike anything she had seen before. So far, that was a reoccurring theme here in the Deep Roads, seeing a bunch of things she had never and hopefully would never see again.

Anders had to be running low on magic, or lyrium, he kept up a steady stream of both healing and offensive spells, the caverns too narrow for him to work his usual defensive magics without causing serious issues for the rest of them. Varric tried to stay beside Anders, though she wasn't sure if it was to protect the mage or to use him as a buffer so he could have clear aim with Bianca.

Fenris was charging through the rock creatures as much as he was able, proving himself useful with his two-handed hammer. Beau herself preferred a combination of sneak attacking and slashing, using a longsword in one hand and a dagger in the other, alternating as needed or using both.

"Enough!"

Shock at the booming voice made the four of them freeze long enough to notice the rock creatures were backing off. Turning as a unit, they all took steps backward at the sight of another rock creature looming there; only this one was much bigger.

Now that she wasn't fighting and thinking only off survival and avoiding what was likely to be a painful death, Beau noticed that the creature had what looked to be a ribcage made of stone, of course, and within the ribs was a yellowish-orange light. It kind of made her think of her own heart, though she was fairly certain hers did not glow like that.

"You have proven your mettle and I would not see these creatures harmed without need," it spoke, its tone gravelly and deep.

All she could do was gape.