16: A New Life

It was Beau who began distancing herself from Anders. That day on the coast, in the glow worm cave was the last time they would be alone together as far as she was concerned. She helped him in the clinic during the day when she wasn't busy doing other things but she never stayed past dinner time and if it were a slow day, she'd leave.

It wasn't like she never him, he still came out on jaunts with her and the others. In the past year since the day in the cave, she had met a decent templar -Thrask- and assisted him in a rather interesting affair involving a half-breed mage. Feynriel, who had been half-elven, half-human and she had felt terrible for him and his mother, Arianni. Thrask had then gotten her involved in a situation dealing with runaway mages, that had panned out terribly for everyone but her.

She had made money. She had saved the mages who had resorted to blood magic, killed the others, sent what remained packing and then wound up killing additional templars who ahd arrived on the scene a bit late. Killing the templars, minus Thrask, had not been the highlight of her day. Karras, in her defense, had been cruel and she had realized it was men like him who produced mages like Anders. Angry and bitter at the injustice of it. So far, Anders hadn't resorted to blood magic, he still abhorred it, which was a good thing in her book. Her book was pretty shady, she wasn't exactly a very good person, not all the time anyway but even she drew a line at blood magic. Hence the lack of Merrill in her life, mostly. Varric kept bringing the Dalish weirdo around every Thursday for their weekly games of Wicked Grace.

Hawke's assistance with Saemus had sort of gotten her into the Viscount's good graces, she supposed all that money she now had helped but she was never going to stop doing things for coin. She was very well aware that you could bounce on shit all you liked, in a blink, you may as well find yourself down in it. She was hoping to avoid that. But the Viscount, that was what they were doing today, heading to the Keep so she could smirk while Seneschal Bran counted out all the coin she was bringing to buy back her mother's home. Back taxes and fees, so they said. Whatever.

She had never understood her attraction to him, at all. Back to Anders. Maybe it was the whole tortured thing he had going but enough was enough. He had made it clear that all they ever could be was friends and she had enough going on without adding unrequited love to the mix.

Unrequited love? Where in the bloody hell had that come from? Beau physically halted in her tracks.

"Isabeau?" Leandra, who had been walking alongside her, stopped as well. "What's the matter, darling?"

Beau was not unaware of the irony of being 'darling' now. She was the last child left either alive or walking free, the one who had borne Leandra's rage and hurt at the loss of the other two. She wasn't sure if she was annoyed or amused with her mother most days. "Nothing, just…" she shrugged, frowning when her mother placed a hand on her shoulder. "What are you doing?"

Leandra was peering into her oldest daughter's face, raising an eyebrow as Beau began squirming like she was still eight years old instead of in her twenties. "You know I love you, don't you, Isabeau?" The pure shock that flitted across Beau's face broke her heart even as Beau quickly smoothed it out. "I know I haven't been kind over the past few years… Maker, has it really been three years since we left Lothering?" That seemed like another lifetime ago and she shook her head.

So much had happened in these past years and she knew she hadn't always been kind to her daughter. Without Beau, they'd be in Gamlen's shack still instead of on their way to reclaim her childhood home. Without Beau, they probably never would have made it out of Lothering, let alone the slums of Kirkwall.

Beau was pretty sure that this affection was the result of the whole house thing. Money had a fine way of buying someone's love, her own mothers included. She knew that was unfair, Leandra hadn't had it easy by stretch, watching one of her children die, the other being hauled off by templars, and the only one left was a smart ass killer who hung out with shady dwarves and apostates. Beau was well aware she was not winner material. "Yes." She even tried to make it sound natural though she was squirming inwardly now, having made herself stop doing it physically.

"I was wrong, blaming you for Carver's death. I was wrong for blaming you about what happened with Bethany."

Something, somewhere, had just frozen over.

Varric had come through with his promises of the 'coin coming', well… what was left of it anyway. Beau had no idea what to do with so much gold, other than lock it away in her new vault. The same vault she had broken into a few years ago. With that knowledge firmly at the forefront of her mind, she had -with Varric's assistance- upgraded said vault. She had also secured the tunnels and passage between her mansion and Darktown, something she figured might one day be handy if she ever needed to run.

So, into the vault went excess coin and the odds and ends she began accumulating. It was odd, being in Hightown and she was aware that things had been shaken up. She was not totally oblivious, there was a lot less 'serah' and more 'messere' these days, people made no sense. Equally weird, Bodahn Feddic -the dwarf from the expedition- had shown up at her doorstep with his son Sandal in tow. She vaguely remembered him promising to 'pay her back' after they had rescued Sandal in the Deep Roads, she had not been anticipating him offering to be what was essentially a manservant. It wasn't even an offer; he had outright told her and that had been that.

Again, made no sense. But the mansion was huge, and it wasn't like they didn't have the room. Her mother seemed charmed by Bodahn and Loghain adored Sandal. Beau had walked into the vast 'main' room to find them barking at each other almost every night since the pair had moved in. Bodahn was also good for keeping her mother company and escorting her out on her business, which Beau wondered how long Leandra would allow that. He also took it upon himself to handle the everyday business of keeping the house running, with Leandra's oversight. At the end of the day, Beau didn't overly care what was going on as long as the money wasn't being blown through and the house was all theirs.

Her mother, on the other hand, was starting to get ideas.

Such as finding her a suitable husband. Beau had laughed that off. She was fairly certain her mother wasn't serious. Maker, she hoped not. Arranged marriages were still a thing but Beau could not see herself married to any of the twats her mother tended to eyeball when they were out and about.

Then there was the dressing… Beau was fond of her breeches and loose, comfortable shirts. Her mother was taking too much delight in trying to replace every pair of breeches with a new dress. Uppity, very uppity. Beau had never considered herself beautiful, so hearing her mother raving about how looked in a dress was… awkward. However, her mother was genuinely happy these days and they spoke, a lot, Beau was not willing to dash her mother's dreams.

At least for now. If the woman honestly tried going through with the 'finding a husband' thing, she'd have to start squishing things. Like Leandra's feelings and silly inclinations. A new life indeed…

In a very weird way… she missed her old life.