AN: Special thank you to those of you who pointed out I can't count LMAO. You guys are the best and I need to go back to grade school apparently. I think I edited all the places where it said there were six members instead of the true number of seven, but if you come across anymore let me know!

Scrolling through the past messages she'd sent to Scott, Jess chewed her lip and fought back that twisting in her gut.

After the team left, Naima had given her the rundown on how family and friends could get in touch during deployment and encouraged her to reach out to Scott or even the others. With the gruff yet paradoxically gentle and affectionate goodbye still fresh enough in her mind, Jess didn't hesitate too much sending the first one.

She figured she would test out the waters with Scott the first month and go from there. If it went well, maybe she would risk getting in touch with the others too. After all, Naima had told her it didn't matter how mundane the letter/message seemed to her, the snapshot back into home life helped ground them while they were away. Given how scary their job seemed to Jess and what she imagined it could do to someone, even highly trained people, she wanted to bring a little brightness if she could.

Metal had answered her sufficiently enough to encourage another message and they went on like that for a week or two.

It had been fairly meaningless stuff from her. Random points about her day, little wins and well wishes to the team. She didn't want to be a downer about any of the rough stuff that was starting to creep up on her, so she kept it all positive. In turn Scott had acknowledged what she shared, asked a few questions and promised to pass things along.

Sometimes it took a few days for a reply, which didn't cause too much anxiety for Jess at the start because Naima had warned her of that. But then, suddenly, he just stopped answering all together.

Jess tried not to let it get to her, rationalizing that it was fine because she understood so little of what kind of life they had to lead while on deployment and he was probably busy. She could wait. It wasn't about her…even though it sucked and got in her head a bit.

She started to worry that something happened to him.

Days turned into a week and Jess casually mentioned it to Naima the next time she babysat the kids. The woman had reassured her the boys were all fine, but working hard so there were probably just a lot of distractions keeping Scott from answering. She'd been sure he would soon and told Jess to keep sending him stuff.

Jess pretended not to be worried about the lack of response and sent a few more, spacing them out further and further so that maybe he wouldn't feel bombarded or like she was harassing him.

His last response was two months ago and it had been a while since she'd tried sending anything new.

Between stress with school, financial strains, her rusty truckie barely holding it together and bullshit cropping up with her mom and step-dad (mostly them trying to find a way to manipulate her into moving back under their roof and going the career route they wanted) Jess couldn't handle sending a cheery message that she wasn't even sure was being received well. She was probably just bugging him. After all, he hadn't mentioned staying in touch before he left. Maybe she'd overstepped.

"Daddy's team is just like Paw Patrol."

"W-what?!" Jess snapped out of it, looking up from her phone and giving her full attention to Jameelah and RJ. They were both home sick and were having a quiet afternoon of watching Paw Patrol with her while their mom was at work.

Jameelah turned serious eyes to her and repeated seriously, "Daddy and all of Bravo are like Paw Patrol!"

"YAY! Dada in Paw trol!" RJ cried excitedly, clapping his hands as the pups sped off to complete some task in Adventure Bay. "Go go dada!"

"Oh my goodness, Naima is going to love this." Jess whispered, flicking her phone over to the camera to record and held it up subtly. "So why do you think that, Jamee?"

"Well, see…Ryder is like Uncle Eric because daddy says he gives them missions to go on from the…cake people…yeah," Jameelah pointed at the screen, oblivious to Jess recording her. "And then Chase is Uncle Jason because he leads the team and can be loud and bossy!"

Jess tried not to laugh so the camera wouldn't shake. "Who are the others?"

"Uncle Sonny is Rubble, and Uncle Trent is Rocky," Jameelah said, obviously having thought about it a great deal because she was so sure of her answer. "Uncle Brock is Tracker, and Zuma is Uncle Scott."

This was pure gold and Jess knew it as she tried to calmly ask, "How come?"

Jameelah drew a deep breath and started to explain patiently, "Because Uncle Sonny likes sweet treats just like Rubble. Uncle Trent fixes things really well…fixing people up is like fixing things and daddy says he the best at helping if they get a booboo, Uncle Brock finds people with Cerberus, so he's Tracker and Uncle Scott is Zuma because he says things like 'dude' and daddy says he loves the ocean and isn't scared of it one bit like Uncle Sonny is."

Dying inside, Jess choked out, "Who's Uncle Clay?"

Jameelah gave her a look of disbelief, "Marshall, obviously! I heard Uncle Trent say he's really accident prone and gets into trouble all the time!"

Jess started having a mysterious coughing fit before managing, "What about your daddy?"

A huge smile graced Jameelah's face and she looked back to the TV, "Daddy is Skye because he's smart, and funny and will wear pink and mommy always tells him to keep an eye on everyone! And Skye is my favorite, just like daddy."

"That's awesome, Jamee! I love it." Jess melted over at the sweet pronouncement.

"You're Everest because you said you used to live somewhere really snowy when you were little! And Auntie Lisa is Katie because she takes care of all the pups and daddy says they would all be in big trouble without her."

"Aw! Everest is my favorite!" Jess cheered as she stopped the video and grinned at Jameelah. "I'm never going to watch Paw Patrol the same way again, and I thank you for it."

Mood lightened, Jess pushed aside the 'Full Metal' conundrum for a bit and focused on what was in front of her.

Later that night, long after the kids were in bed, Naima came home.

"How was your day?" Jess asked, guessing the answer based on the circles under Naima's eyes.

"Hectic." Naima set her things down on the kitchen counter. "How were things here?"

"Good! I think they're both on the mend!" Unable to wait longer, Jess pulled out her phone. "I have something that might make you laugh."

"Oh?"

"Yeah…so, Jameelah said something while we were watching Paw Patrol…"

Jess showed her the video and it wasn't long before Naima was bent over the counter in the kitchen, shaking violently with uncontrollable laughter.

"Clay…" Naima gasped, wiping tears from her eyes as she stifled giggles. "Marshal! Ray….Skye!"

"I can't unsee it all now." Jess was dying laughing too because it just got funnier each time she watched it. "And like…Rubble and Sonny-"

Niama dissolved again, pulling her hands over her face and giggling hysterically.

"Ahhh….you need to send that to me. Ray needs to see it."

"Already on it." Jess assured her as she sent the video to her phone.

"You should send it to all of them!" Naima laughed, putting her lunch dishes in the dishwasher.

Jess sobered a little, and just said, "Yeah."

Naima caught the change instantly and she fixed Jess with a look.

"Jess? What's going on?"

Forcing a smile, Jess shrugged, "Nothing!"

"I don't buy that…does this have something to do with the guys? Did they say something to you that upset you?"

"No…" Jess hesitated before adding quietly, "They haven't said anything. I only ever messaged Scott and well, I haven't heard from him in a while."

Frowning and coming closer, Naima asked, "What do you mean you haven't heard from him?"

"He hasn't answered in almost two months."

"You mean since the last time we talked about this!?"

"It's not a big deal," Jess said even as traitorous tears formed, her mouth wobbled and her chest tightened.

"Oh, honey," Naima said softly, coming to her and hugging her tightly. "It is a big deal if you are feeling like this about it."

The delicate control Jess had over her emotions broke into shards with Naima's validation and lack of judgment. She returned the hug gratefully, hungry for comfort and contact.

"I sent a few more, after you said it would be good," Jess confided. "But then, I started to think that maybe I was just bugging him, or what if I said something I shouldn't have, or…maybe he was mad at me, or maybe he decided that he'd made a mistake befriending me and it was his way of telling me to get lost which is totally fair-, so I just stopped trying."

"No! Nononono, Jess, sweetheart," Naima squeezed her tightly, rubbing her back. "I can't speak for why he hasn't answered, but I do know he doesn't for a moment want you to get lost! Scott doesn't take to people outside of the teams often, especially less so after his last girlfriend. He's a bit of a caveman so communication is not his strong suit, but Jess, it wasn't a mistake, him taking you under his wing."

"It doesn't really feel like that right now." Jess cried into Naima's shoulder. "And it's harder to believe right now because of the shit that's been going down between my mom and I."

"What's going on with you and your mom?" Naima asked, pulling back and whipping the tears from Jess's cheeks. There was a flash in her eye that made Jess want to spill her guts. "I know whenever you've mentioned your family before, you've hinted that things are pretty strained with you two. It's also telling that you talk more about your Aunt Sarah and that the woman seemed to have a greater hand in raising you when you were little than your mother did."

"It's a long story, and you've already had such a long day-" Jess started, trying to pull herself together apologetically.

"Sweetheart, if you need someone to listen, I'm here." Naima tilted her head. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Bursting into tears, Jess nodded. "Can I?"

"Come here, let's go sit. You tell me whatever you want or need to, ok? This is a safe space, I'm not going to judge you or tell you what to do. You just let it out, Ok?"

Three hours later, Jess lay in her own bed at home and stared at the ceiling.

She'd told Naima everything. Well, maybe not everything because there was a lot to tell and some of it Jess didn't even know where to begin with, but she told her a lot of it.

She'd talked about the constant phone calls from her mom and her demands for information about where she was, what she was doing and who she was with. The disappointment and fury she was subjected to over the fact that she'd gone against her step-dad's wishes to go to MIT when she could have and that she'd purposely gone and moved to a different state, all on her own dime (well, her dad helped a little, but the man was bad with his money and was another story). The way that both of them would suddenly 'play nice' only to turn things around and try holding something over her head to get her to come back and do what they wanted, all in the name of wanting what was best for her. Nothing was ever simple with them and if you took something from them or accepted their 'help', you were never debt free after. Right now, when she was struggling a little financially, it was hard not to be tempted to accept the money transfers her mom kept sending her.

Then there was the criticism, the way her mom twisted her words and made everything suit her wants and needs or to tear down any confidence Jess had and make her feel like she was the bad guy. Or there was the way she denied events, saying they never happened until sometimes Jess wondered if she was wrong and her mom was right after all. There was the way her step-dad picked apart everything she said, didn't matter what topic, and made her feel stupid. How her brother and sister had left home years before her, abandoning her to deal with the constant lectures and volatile mood swings of both people she lived with. The way her dad never fought harder for custody of her even though he knew full well what she had to live with and the pain that caused her. He'd told her if she was ever physically harmed he would get her out, but because there was no physical abuse going on, he wouldn't start the case.

By the time she was seventeen she'd learned to play the system, please them, keep them happy. If she hadn't been at that party, gotten her drink messed with and ended up in the hospital only to have both caregivers tell her it was her own fault and to stop being so dramatic, Jess might have ended up exactly where they wanted her. The choice to just up and leave had been made quickly and she'd headed for the first school that would take her so last minute, turning down MIT. She'd bought a shitty old vehicle, found a cheap place to rent, packed her stuff and left.

Somehow she'd landed on her feet. She found good people right away in the house she was living in and her best friend Pauline ended up coming along too for a fresh start and the adventure of it. In the grand scheme of things, it wasn't much, but it was enough.

She'd built her life up from there, one little piece at a time, finding loans, grants and scholarships to pay for school and living expenses. The year she was nineteen she worked two jobs in addition to going to school. That had been a year of hell, but by the grace of God and whoever was watching out for her, she'd managed to line her bank account with a small cushion of cash. Since then she'd been able to survive on what she had along with the grants and loans, but it was close some weeks and she needed to pick up a tutoring gig some months.

Naima had done as she promised. She listened without judgment and she didn't tell Jess what to do, save one thing. She offered to sit down with Jess and work through her finances to try an find some more loopholes to get her more money and maybe fine tune her budgeting.

Tears gathered again at the thought of the offer. Numbers weren't actually her strong suit and she'd haphazardly set a planned budget for herself over the years, but no one had ever actually taught her how to do this stuff.

Then there was the "Full Metal' talk at the end of all that. Without needing to spell it out, Jess knew Naima had gotten a clear enough picture of what kind of family background she was coming from to know why believing Scott wasn't mad at her was so hard, even if Jess didn't really understand it herself. She'd only just recently started trying to tackle all of her feelings about her family with a therapist, when she could afford it and there was a heck of a lot of ground to cover.

"I know he's extremely fond of you and he doesn't even try to hide how protective he is of you." Naima had said. "And it's not hard to see why! You are a rare gem that's been chewed up by life and spat back out, yet it doesn't stop you from being sweet, and kind to everyone you meet. Don't give up. Keep sending messages, Jess. Trust me. Those boys need the sunshine you bring into the world."

Jess wanted to believe her. It was just so dang hard and she didn't know if she could handle it if Naima was wrong and Scott sent something back that disproved everything she was putting her hopes on.

Still. He said they were all fond of her. They'd dragged her ass out into the ocean just to make sure she met her goals and faced her fears. Before that they'd 'brought her home for Christmas' so she wasn't alone. Before that they'd kept her safe and looked after her when she was drunk. If they needed light in the darkness after being beacons of warmth for her…how could she sleep without at least trying to reach out again?

"Alright. Just one more." Jess whispered into the dark, then rolled over and grabbed her phone.