Exhaustion radiated from every pore as Metal sat down on his bunk, They'd been door kicking nonstop for weeks now, hunting for a dirt bag that he'd like to personally bury alive. The things this monster had done he couldn't erase from his head, so it served as fuel for his determination instead.

Figuring he would turn in soon, Metal checked his phone out of habit, half hoping and half dreading what he might see.

There was a new message. From Jess.

He almost went to sleep instead of considering reading it because he wasn't sure if he could handle the guilt tonight.

After the first few weeks of receiving refreshing little messages from Jess and him answering them, Metal found himself suddenly stop replying.

One night, after a close call, he developed an unshakable feeling of dread that he was being selfish letting this sweet, naive kid get close to him. He was a soldier. He had no girlfriend, no kids, no family, no pets, nothing to miss him if he didn't make it back. That had all been a consolation, until now.

The kid unassumingly wormed her way into his heart and life, without even meaning to, and he only had himself to blame for it. If he'd just sat back and kept watch over her from afar and never approached her in the first place she wouldn't have gotten close to him and she wouldn't be in danger of grief now if something happened to him or the team. That shattered look on her face when he said goodbye on the beach was burned in his mind and the guilt of not having properly prepared her for them all leaving ate away at the back of his mind more than it should have.

The darkness he walked through with the horrors of war each day only clouded his judgment further, making it harder and harder to answer her. His excuse to himself was that he was too tired or busy.

He'd find a way to explain later. Explain what, he wasn't sure, but he'd sure as hell explain.

Days started to push into weeks between new letters until they trickled to a stop for a while.

This was her first in over four weeks and with how things were going in this hell hole, Metal couldn't deny he was a little desperate to be reminded of the good things in this life even if it meant being reminded that this problem had only gotten worse with his lack of replies. He hadn't wanted to hurt the kid. Chances were he'd done that anyway.

A tired wave settled heavier on his shoulders and he tossed the phone away suddenly.

On second thought, he couldn't do this right now.

Rolling over, Metal closed his eyes and resolved to sleep.

Too short a time later, someone came in.

"Metal," Ray said softly, "You awake, brother?"

"No."

"Good. We need to talk…well, actually, Niama wants to talk to you. She's pretty pissed, man."

Scott dragged his eyes open and swore. He was about to get his ass verbally handed to him. He could just feel it.

"Does this have to happen now?"

"Come on, man. You know how hard it is to cross paths at the same hour, especially with how hard we've been going. Might not get another chance here and it sounds important."

Rumbling unhappily, Metal rolled upright and accepted the phone that Ray handed him.

"Niama." He growled.

"What the hell are you thinking? Not one reply in almost two months? Really, Scott? Have you any idea how fragile Jess is about family to begin with and what you not talking to her is doing to her belief that we still want her around?"

"We've been a little busy. I've read them. I value them. Tell her that."

"That's bull and you know it." Niama's voice was quiet, but it cut like a knife. "Whatever it is that's in your head, you better get it figured out soon because you brought the sweet girl into this family, built her up, protected her and let her into your life. She deserves better. I don't know what's going on with you, and I don't need to know, but I do know you well enough to realize that you care about Jess a lot and you'd bury anyone six feet under if they made her feel like shit, so smarten up. Got it?"

Metal clenched his jaw, bowed his head and rubbed his eyes before saying, "Loud and clear."

"Good. Now, go send her a message or call her and tell her you've been an idiot and that you're not mad at her."

Something clenched in his gut uncomfortably. "She thinks I'm mad at her?"

"Yes! I told you. She's fragile. You don't answer and she thinks it's something she did wrong. It took me almost two hours last night to convince her that even though sometimes we don't get replies, the message is always read and appreciated."

"I just…" Metal ignored Ray still sitting in the room and turned his head so it was easier to pretend he was talking to Naima alone. "She wasn't prepared for this part of our lives…I didn't make sure she understood soon enough…I just…worry about how she'd handle it if something happened to us after getting too close to the team. To me."

"So the solution was to just stop talking to her? Scott Carter you have the thickest skull somedays!" Niama softened her tone just a little. "She'll handle it the same way we all do. With people who will take care of her and stand by her. Do you really think she is the only one who would mourn you? We're your family too, dumb ass, same as your brothers, and their families."

"Right," Scott sighed a little and rubbed the scruff on his face. "Alright. You've made your point. I'll take care of it, Naima."

"You better." Naima warned, then she asked gently, "Are you looking after yourself properly?"

A sharp laugh escaped his lips and Metal grunted, "Yeah. Looking after myself just fine. It's these other idiots here that I gotta worry about."

"Well just remember to let them watch your back as much as you watch theirs," Naima ordered sternly, her warmth and affection coming through loud and clear. Metal squirmed uncomfortably inside as it sliced through his firmly built walls of anger, disgust and near blood thirst for justice, reminding him of the moral balance he was bound to.

"I'll do my best. Tell those little rug rats of yours that Uncle Scott misses them."

Metal handed the phone back to Ray and rolled back onto his bunk.

"Yeah." Ray stayed where he was and Metal could feel him staring at him. "Love you too, baby. Give the babies a kiss for me. Talk soon."

Swearing mentally, Metal knew this lecture wasn't over. Ray was going to take a turn now.

"So. All those times you filled us in on how Jess was doing you were never actually passing along our love back to her? That explains why she never contacted the rest of us. She didn't know she could or that we'd welcome it."

"It's been a long day, Ray." Scott warned, not moving.

"Uh huh. You aren't getting out of this that easy," Ray nearly scoffed.

"Your wife already did a thorough job pointing out how bad I fucked up, alright. Let it go."

"Nah, man. We gotta make this right."

"Tonight? We have a job to do taking down that scumbag and we can't do it without sleep."

"We got the time and everyone is still mostly awake. We should call her."

Metal stayed quiet, trying to ignore Ray and failing. Memories of the times Jess had asked him if he was mad echoed back traitorously through his mind. That small, worried and broken fear in her eyes, the tired, nervous tone that leaked into her voice and the way she deflated made him want to bust some heads. Delaying this would only make it harder. He and Ray both knew that.

"Fine. I'll call her. Get the rest of the clowns together."

"Good man." Ray clapped his shoulder on the way past. "I'll round them up."

Once he was gone, Metal opened the new message from Jess and started reading before he made the call.

Hi Scott,

Hope you're doing ok and that you don't mind me sending this. Naima said that sometimes it's hard for you guys to answer and not to stop sending stuff, so, here I am I guess. Just thought you might like to know that Zoe and I did our Tri this past weekend. I only had one minor freak out in the water portion, but it would have been way worse if I hadn't been going out and swimming the buoys with Z three days a week leading up to it. I never would have been able to do it at all if you guys hadn't forced me to do that first swim, so thank you.

Anyway, that's all. I hope you're ok and that everyone else is too.

- Jess

Stifling a groan, Scott could practically hear the uncertainty coming through in her writing. Poor kid really did think he was mad at her. He glanced at the time stamp.

She'd sent it at 3 am, her time.

Shaking his head, Scott dialed and waited as it rang. It felt weird calling someone. He pretty much never did on deployment.

"S-scott?!" Jess's half awake voice rocked through him, reminding him it was still early there and she'd gone to sleep late. All her surprise and ill concealed nervousness tugged the part of his cold heart that had made him sit across from her at the Bulkhead when this all started.

"What are you doing sending messages at 3am?" He found himself saying. "Thought I told you to get enough sleep."

"I-what!?" Jess's flustered spluttering brought a grin to his face and that dark knot in his chest loosened a little. "D-did you seriously call me to scold me about my sleeping habits!?"

Bless her heart, she didn't even mention the part where he hadn't replied in nearly two months.

"And what'd I tell you about spending too much time in front of your computer playing games? There have been way too many late nights for it to be good for you."

"H-how in the hell did you know that!?" Jess exclaimed, her pitch rising comically.

He started to laugh silently and then said, "Called it."

"Oh for the love of-" Jess huffed and he could hear her smacking her forehead. "I gotta stop falling for that!"

"You really do make it too easy sometimes, I'll give you that." Scott chuckled before sobering and saying seriously, "I'm sorry I haven't been replying. Sometimes being away can get things turned around, but I'm good now. I read every one of your messages when they came in, and they're always bright spots in my day. Thank you."

"You're welcome," Relief was obvious in Jess's voice. "I wasn't sure, for a bit, if I was just…bugging you…but, Naima said to keep sending them."

"No." Scott surprised himself with how adamantly he said that. "Never bugging, Jess. Keep sending them if you want, and I'll try to be better about answering."

"It's ok! I get it if you've got a lot going on, I mean, not that I get it really cause I'm sure I can't even imagine what…you have to do…everyday…but, I'm sure it's really hard and I don't want to add to stuff so don't feel like you have to…answer." Jess grew awkward and halting in her words again and Scott could imagine her picking at her nails as her damn shoulders tucked in. "But if it helps…I'll keep sending stuff."

"It helps, kid. Don't ever think it doesn't." Scott heard rowdy voices coming closer to the sleeping quarters and he hurried things up a little. "So, since I wasn't answering it meant that some other people here didn't get some messages passed along to you and they'd like to say hello."

"Really!?" The complete enthusiasm that instantly lit Jess's tone was rewarding.

"Yeah, here they all come. Putting you on speaker, ok?"

The team piled through the door.

"Is she on?" Jason asked, giving Metal a critical stink eye that he knew meant the team leader was irritated with him. While Jason thought he hid it well, it was obvious to all of them that he was starting to encompass Jess in with his other kids. Heaven help you if you ever make one of his kids cry.

"She's on."

"Hi guys!" The nervous energy came through despite the smile in her voice.

"Heyyyy!" They chorused in a way only Bravo Team could.

"How are you doing, little ocean fearing buddy?" Sonny asked. "Did you do that triathlon yet?"

"We did!" Jess's tone shifted to eager excitement.

"And how'd that go?" Ray asked.

"Well, I didn't chicken out for the swim, and I actually got ahead of Zoe, but that was because she got knocked in the face while swimming by this crazy competitive chick right at the start and got a nosebleed."

Sympathetic noises joined together as one as Sonny said, "I hope you swam clear of her! That would be a beacon for sharks."

Jess laughed and admitted, "I am not gonna lie, that may or may not have motivated a little more speed on my part. She caught me on the bike though and by the run I was pretty fried, so I didn't finish in the best standing with my age group, but that's ok. I wasn't last and I had fun."

"That's good! That's the important part!" Brock told her.

"So we hear that Metal's been a terrible brother and hasn't been relaying our messages to you!" Trent said, casting a smug look at the other senior member of the team.

Jess didn't miss a beat, "Well, I mean…he may have done that, but you and Brock didn't actually say goodbye properly before you left, so…"

A great shout of "OH! Busted!" rang through the room and the others laughed, smacking the medic and handler on the shoulders.

"That is true." Brock admitted. "We're very sorry and we'll make it up to you, promise."

"Oh, no, it's ok." Jess was back to her 'oh my gosh I don't want anyone to feel bad because of me I shouldn't have said that' tone.

"It's ok? Excuse me, miss Jess, but you do not get to let them off that easily!" Sonny drawled. "Make em dance and fully relish the victory of such a well timed zing."

"Nooo, I couldn't do that." Jess said.

"So what's new, Jess?" Clay asked, "Metal's only been giving us the spark notes version of any news, which is usually in one to two words."

"Ummm, I don't know, what do you want to know?"

"How's classes going?" Jason asked, dad mode coming online.

Jess made a noise, "They're ok. I took an extra course because apparently I don't have enough to do already and thought another BioChem was a good idea. It wasn't. I am not smart enough for this shit and might have to drop it to keep my average up."

"I'm sure you're selling yourself short there, Jess," Ray said with his trademark pep talk voice.

"Ahhh…noooo. I don't think so. I bombed my midterm pretty hard last week and I don't think there's any coming back from it now."

"Define bombed." Brock said.

"The grade wasn't good. I only got a 70."

"Sweetheart, that is not a bad grade." Sonny snorted. "I would have sold my left arm for a 70 in any kind of science course."

"That's fair." Jess's tone shifted to one that wanted to explain more but wasn't going to. "Let's see…what else is new…OH! My sketchy neighbors got busted for drugs and possibly some other stuff two weeks ago! That was pretty exciting!"

"I'm sorry, what now!?" Jason sat forward, posture sharpening as dad mode fully activated.

Jess didn't notice and kept going brightly as if it wasn't something to be alarmed about.

"My neighbors on the left! They got busted for a ton of pot, heroine and a bunch of other worse stuff, I think. I missed most of it. Stacy watched the whole thing. Some guy got tazed and another jumped out the second story window trying to escape and broke his ankle." Jess grew thoughtful, "I always thought they were kinda weird, but they kept to themselves mostly. It does explain the smell though. I just thought a family of skunks lived under their porch or something."

Nearly collectively, the boys facepalmed as Jess spoke because of course their oblivious little nerd wouldn't put a skunky smell and pot together. It also made them all silently agree that when they got back they needed to start bugging the girl about how ridiculously not secure her house was. Anyone could break in. Hell, half the windows were unlocked that last time they'd been on her porch.

Jess kept going, unaware of the minor heart palpitations going on, "Also kinda explains why they always had people coming and going at weird hours of the day. So there was that. Hmm, oh! Zoe got a puppy! It's a mix, but mostly looks like a lab, and she's adorable! Her name is Pippin. Um…I've been babysitting RJ and Jameelah a lot, which is great!"

Ray responded to that instantly, "Yes! Thank you for that! It's been a lifesaver for Naima, and the babies love you, Jess. They really do."

"Oh, it's nothing!" Jess insisted sincerely. "I'm happy to and it gets me out of school brain fog to do something different."

"So, ah…about those eating habits," Jason started, exchanging a look with his team as they broke into grins.

There was a brief pause and Jess said a little too innocently, "What about them?"

"I trust they've been improving?" Metal growled.

"Totally! I eat very well, thank you."

"Even over the phone you are a terrible liar Jess." Trent called her on it before anyone else had the chance.

A soft, but still audible 'damn it' came across before Jess feigned further innocence, "I don't know what you mean!"

"Here, we'll make this easy," Jason said in his best no nonsense voice. "What did you eat last, and when?"

"Ummmm…"

"If you have to think about it, it was too long ago." Brock told her.

"It was not! I had food and it was a very nutritious meal!"

"Oh yeah? What was in it that made it so nutritious?"

"Well, it had…" There was a rustling sound. "Oat flour, Rice flour, salt, honey, cinnamon, calcium carbonate, baking soda, monoglycerides-"

"Are you reading off a cereal box?" Clay asked, catching on quicker than the others.

"Nooo?"

"You had cereal for dinner?"

"Of course not! It was a bedtime snack…or an early breakfast. Take your pick. The kids and I had stir fry for dinner." Jess settled into a slightly pleased confidence. "See? I don't know what the fuss is over. Whatever Scott told you must have been misinformation."

"You really want to play that game, kid?" Metal rumbled as the rest of the team made chuckling comments about how those were fighting words and lighthearted warnings that Jess was in trouble now. "What are the contents of your cupboards and fridge at this very moment?"

"Um…they contain food?"

"That's not an answer."

"Sure it is! And I'll even dignify it with the addition of, they contain more food than they did before Christmas."

"They damn well better!" Metal nearly exclaimed, lack of sleep getting the better of his usual control. "You only had cereal, oatmeal and barely unexpired milk!"

"They do!" Jess laughed, "I promise there is sufficient food of nutritional value. My housemates steal contents on a regular basis to use in making collective food dishes that I enjoy and Naima does an excellent job keeping me fed. There are no issues here."

"That still isn't an answer."

"Ok, fine. There is only a yogurt, three bagels and the tiniest amount of cream cheese in the fridge and two boxes of KD left in the cupboard with some dry oats because I hate grocery shopping and haven't gone in three weeks but before you judge me just know what all four of us have the exact same problem in this house, so really I shouldn't be singled out here for my questionable adulting skills."

"Might be four of you with terrible adulting skills, but we only adopted one of you so you're going to have to put up with the hazing," Sonny laughed. "Be glad we aren't asking about how that rust bucket of yours is running. Have you replaced it with a new one yet?"

"Be nice to my truckie!" Jess exclaimed with mock indignation. "She's a tired old girl and does her best with what she has!"

"Jess," Ray said as he and Jason just finished a silent conversation. "You aren't avoiding food shopping because you're not able to afford it…right?"

"Oh gosh no. I mean like, I won't lie, it helps with payments when I stretch each trip out, but it's really purely because I'm lazy." Jess hesitated and added, "Had you asked me that three years ago the answer would have been yes, but life's not like that anymore, so it's all good."

"Just making sure, little sis." Ray told her. "Don't want you in that situation."

"Thank you!" Jess answered, utterly genuine. "Don't worry though."

"Kid, we'll always worry about you. It's our job to worry." Jason stated, face set in stone over the revelation that three years ago, when she was only nineteen, she'd been struggling to make ends meet enough just to eat.

"Oh, well, thank you…so Jameelah said something funny yesterday," Jess said, shifting topics almost seamlessly as she nudged concerns and attention away from herself. "I'm not going to ruin it, but make sure that Naima sends the video to Ray. It's probably the biggest highlight of my month, besides talking to you guys and Zoe getting her puppy!"

"Hey! We rank up there with the puppy! Nice!" Brock exclaimed, rubbing Cerberus's ears affectionately. "Dogs are the best!"

"Yeah," Jess went a little higher pitched, like she was trying not to laugh. "They really are! Oh…shit."

"What's wrong," Metal asked instantly, ignoring the teasing raised eyebrows at his immediate high alert posture.

"Oh, nothing, just my alarm," Jess said, more deflated than before. "I hate to cut this short, because I really miss you guys but I've got to get to the library to meet this first semester student I'm tutoring and it's taking them a little longer to get to campus these days."

"Why is that?"

"Wellll…." Jess laughed a little, clearly knowing they weren't going to like what she was about to tell them.

"I have a bad feeling about this," Trent whispered to his brothers from his bunk.

"My truckie doesn't like the highway anymore. The check engine light has started flashing whenever I accelerate too fast," Jess told them, completely unphased by the fact her engine had a habit of misfiring. "So now I have to take the long way instead of the highway."

"You really need to burn that damn thing," Metal growled seriously.

"I hear that's illegal." Jess brushed it off lightly. "Besides, truckie still has some great qualities! The four wheel drive still works!"

"What do you need four wheel drive for in Virginia Beach?" Clay asked, amused to no end.

Jess paused a moment before saying, "I don't know. You never know. It could snow a bunch and I'd need it then. Stranger things have happened!"

"Alright, on that note, before you give us any more heart attacks, we better let you go, Jess." Jason was shaking his head and rubbing his brow. "Don't want you to be late."

"Oh, right. Forgot about that. Yeah, I should probably go." Jess sighed. "It was really nice talking to you guys, and thanks for giving me a hard time about stuff. I kinda miss that."

"You be careful what you wish for, miss Jess!" Sonny warned from where he'd almost fallen asleep on his bunk with his hat over his eyes. "You might regret it."

"We'll talk to you later, Jess." Jason said firmly, reminding them all they each had stuff they needed to get done. "We'd all love to hear from you and promise to reply eventually. And if this idiot brother of ours doesn't stay in touch with you then we'll knock his teeth in."

"No! Don't do that!" Jess exclaimed, "Dental is so expensive! Let him keep his teeth. Besides, it's not that big a deal."

"Alright, we'll think about it," Ray conceded. "Take care of yourself, Jess."

"Properly!" Metal grumbled without true irritation.

"I will only if you guys do the same because otherwise you're just being hypocritical." Jess told them with a spark of sassy fire that they rarely got to witness but loved. "Bye! Stay safe…please."

"Talk soon, kid." Metal spoke with less gruffness as he got ready to hang up, making his team grin and prompting him to silently give them all the finger as he spoke. "We'll be alright."

"So before we all get some much needed sleep," Ray drew all their attention to him a few minutes later. "I thought you might want to see the video Jess was talking about. Naima sent it and made me promise to wait till we were all together to watch it."

Two minutes later all seven of them were cramped around Ray's computer and watching the video.

The results were predictable and then some, given how bloody tired and worn out they all were.

Just as it began, Jason had taken a swig of water, which promptly came out his nose when Jameelah began pronouncing the children's cartoon characters to be just like the people her daddy worked with. They'd all seen enough of the show to have some idea of who was who, having spent enough time with Ray's kids.

They howled with laughter at the comparisons, made 'aww' sounds at all the right moments of Jameelah's little pronouncements and poked fun at each other for the accuracy of their new 'titles'.

Blackburn being compared to a child who organized a team of puppies that solved problems that the adults were clearly incompetent to fix was just too funny.

"Cake people?" Brock raised a confused eyebrow. "Who are the cake…"

"Cake eaters!" Trent and Sonny told him in unison. "She means cake eaters."

"Of course you're Chase!" Ray teased, smacking his best friend's shoulder, "It even works with his little line! Jase is on the case!"

"Yeah, but I'm not bossy or loud." Jason tried to say it seriously and failed.

"Hey! I get to be Rumble!" Sonny cheered. "I always loved his handsome face and cool digger!"

"Oh, thank God. I thought it would be Skye for me," said Trent.

"Who is Tracker?" Brock asked, "He sounds cool!"

"I think that's the Chihuahua." Sonny answered, laughing and mimicking a scrappy little dog. "So fierce."

"Zuma's got an awesome boat." Metal said, grinning, "I'd totally drive that thing!"

Marshal, obviously!

A roar exploded as Jameelah told Jess her reasoning.

"I'm not clumsy!" Clay protested.

"You are as accident prone as they come, little buddy," Sonny ruffled his hair, making the blond swat at his hands.

"Ray is Skye!" They cheered then went 'Awww' when Jameelah said why her daddy ranked on par with her favorite character.

"We really would be lost without Lisa." Jason conceded with a chuckle as they shut things down and collapsed into their prospective locations.

"That was too funny," Trent snickered as lights flicked out.

"Still not sure how I feel about being a Chihuahua." Brock mumbled as Cerberus snuggled up to him.

"At least you aren't Marshall!" Clay grumbled and they laughed at him.

Things grew quiet for a little while before Sonny started singing, "Paw patrol…paw patrol…"

"Be there on the double…" Clay answered sleepily.

"Shut up, both of you, before this pup drowns you." Metal warned darkly.