The following week tested the waters in ways Metal always convinced himself he could control or avoid, and deep down knew there was no way around. He'd just hoped it wouldn't happen so soon after Jess moved in.

Some missions just were bad from start to finish, and this last one was one of them. He felt every inch of it coming through the door that evening.

"Hey!" Jess greeted him with the brightest smile as she came out from her room. "You're back! I was just about to watch…"

She trailed off, smile fading. An alertness slipping into her posture as she picked up on subtle cues he'd always been able to hide from most people.

"Are…are you ok?"

Those gentle words flipped a switch in his brain and suddenly that pillar of strength he was hiding behind shriveled.

Dropping his bag by the door, Metal found himself crossing the floor. He grabbed her by the shoulders and dragged her into a hug without a single word. Jess fell into it without protest, despite her obvious surprise. Her small arms wrapped around his torso tightly, thankfully missing the wound just above his left hip. She pressed her head into his chest. His hand cupped the back of her head, holding it there as if that could fix everything he'd seen that day.

They stayed like that for a good three minutes before Jess whispered, "You're kinda scaring me a bit…are you ok? Is…is everyone else ok?"

"Everyone's ok. I'm ok. Just a really bad day."

He loosened his arms, meaning to let her go, but Jess tightened her own so he didn't.

"Can I help?" She asked, empathy coloring every word with an understanding she probably didn't even realize was there. That was the beauty of Jess. She never assumed to know what they went through, but she was still pretty damn good at putting herself enough in their shoes to have a pretty good idea of what they might be feeling. Coupled with her uncanny ability to read people's moods, the girl was uncanny.

"No. Just need this."

"Ok, well, hugs are my specialty, so you're in luck."

"I know."

Another two minutes passed of them standing there like that before Jess spoke again.

"I…I made brownies."

Metal shifted, glancing over at the stove. "You made brownies?"

"Yeah."

"You."

"Hey, I like baking!" Jess squawked. "I just don't like cooking!"

Pulling away, Metal couldn't help teasing her despite how backwards his head was right now.

"Did the smoke alarm get used as a timer again?"

"No!" Jess tried to sound offended and failed. Instead a foolishness colored her next words as a blush rose in her cheeks, "Not for the second try at them, anyway."

The laugh that slipped out was genuine, which felt strange and it made him wince when the action pulled at stitches and contusions all over his body. Thankfully Jess didn't catch it as she went to the tray.

"They actually turned out really well this time! You should eat some of them though. I already had like, half the tray."

"Yeah." Metal watched as she cut another one in half and shoved it into her mouth. "I might just."

There were so many other things he could say, if he were in the right mindset. So many ways to tease her and get her all riled up, push her buttons and get her to laugh, to stop taking herself too seriously and laugh at herself. But he wasn't there today.

Instead he slipped off to his room and stayed there until Jess disappeared back into her own room.

By the time that happened he'd popped more meds and found that bottle of whiskey he kept in the nightstand. He hadn't touched it in a long time, not since Jess had her appendix out and stayed with him the first time. Something about having her around made things better and the feeling that he needed it to deal with certain things wasn't as strong. The brightness she brought into his home didn't fit with his darker moments spent alone with the bottle and he was more likely to 'harass' her out of her room to watch a movie or go for a walk rather than take the whiskey out.

There was a part of him that felt hollow defeat that this was how he was going to deal with the day. But he couldn't tell Jess. Not the horrible things that happened to kids just a little younger than her. Not that they didn't get them all home safe and that they lost three of the girls despite his efforts and injuries to show for it when half a building collapsed on them. Not that he held one of them as she died, telling her it was all going to be ok and she was safe. Not that he'd actually enjoyed turning every last one of those animals into mist. Not that he secretly wanted to kill more of them, to wipe every last sick bastard off the face of the earth.

No. She was too innocent. He never wanted her to know the side of the world he saw or to really know that side of him.

The top came off the bottle, he slid down the side of the bed, and he drank.

Finals were still weeks away, but Jess had no end of assignments. She had four days until the first one was due, and she still wasn't remotely ready.

Ever since Scott got home and went to his room, Jess struggled to focus. There was a nagging feeling something was very wrong, and yet she had no idea how to approach him.

It took picking the right playlist and blasting it in her ears so she could 'feel' every note to put her brain into gear enough to get some sort of work done. Gosh, she was getting burnt out! Doggie daycare was the best job ever, but it had added more to her plate than she realized initially and she was exhausted.

She jumped a mile high when her earbud was plucked from her ear and found Scott leaning over her.

"Shit! Hi!" She gasped. Must not have heard the door open. "What's up?"

"Hey, how are you with other people's blood?" His voice was more gravely than normal with a slight slow slur. There was absolutely whiskey on his breath, not that he was too close to her.

Going big eyed, Jess tried to play it cool and failed, "Um, usually fine? Why?"

"Need your help. Can't reach." He started back out of her room, using the edge of the door to subtly steady himself and without even waiting to see if she was going to come with him.

Following Scott to the bathroom, because he'd never asked her for help with something like this and he seemed off like he'd been drinking too much, Jess mentally prepared herself.

"Before you see this, you need to understand that it's not that bad, so I wasn't lying before when I said I was ok."

Yeah. His words were definitely slurring in places.

"Ok?"

Scott gingerly pulled off his shirt so she could see his back. Stitches stood in a neat row of thirteen right to the left of his spine, between his shoulder blades. Two stitches had pulled loose and there was blood oozing out from between the others.

"Need you to put these on, then put this on it, then this patch over top."

"Ok…" Jess couldn't tear her eyes from the mess on his back. It wasn't just a brutal cut. He was covered in fresh bruises and smaller scabs.

"Jess! Focus!"

All of a sudden he seemed utterly sober and annoyed.

"Right!" Jumping to put on the gloves he was holding out to her, Jess hurried to do as he asked. "W-what happened?"

"Nothin much." The slur was back again. Scott waved it aside with a vague notion of warning that didn't exactly translate with how much he'd definitely had to drink tonight. "Don't worry about it, pipsqueak."

Nickname was still there. Ok good. Not too mad at her then.

Eyes trailing to the second blood tinted bandage near the outer edge of his abdomen, Jess bit her tongue for all of three seconds before asking, "What about that one? It looks…worse."

"Just a little stab wound. It's fine."

"I'm sorry, a stab wound?! You said you were ok!"

"It's just a little one. Not even deep. Should see the other guy. Didn't stand a chance." Scott's voice deepened with dark humor that sent a shiver up her back. "Just focus on what I need you to do."

"Should you have been drinking?!"Jess wondered aloud, worry loosening her voice. "Doesn't that slow down healing and not go well with pain meds?"

The second she said it, Jess knew she crossed a line and she regretted it. He went from controlled and mostly patient to instantly angry.

Scott flicked away from her, standing and facing her suddenly, eyes blazing with cold fury.

"What of it?" He ground out harshly. "I don't remember asking you to play twenty questions! Either do the job, or don't and go mind your own damn business. Got it?"

Jess had never actually been frightened of Scott before. Intimidated? Yeah. Apprehensive, suspicious, and unsure? Absolutely! But, frightened? No. Not really. Not until now.

The bathroom was small to start with, and he was blocking the exit the way he turned.

This wasn't him. Not the Scott she knew. It was like she was meeting the thunderous expression and looming figure of someone else the way he stood over her furiously, nearly entering her personal space.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, not daring to move or breathe and unable to pull her wide gaze from him.

Those two words, and likely also the look on her face, forced a switch to flick back on in his brain. His brow furrowed, eyes darting between her each of her own and then traveling rapidly over her frozen posture.

Seconds later he was backing away from her as if she'd burnt him.

"Get out." He ordered shortly.

There was a part of her that wanted to run the second he'd moved enough for her to leave, but then in the mirror she saw more blood oozing from the pulled stitches, running down his spine and she couldn't just leave him like that.

Tight as a spring and half expecting him to blow up at her, Jess dug deep. Him blowing up wasn't something she couldn't handle. He could yell all he wanted. She could survive that. She had lots of time with Harold. Then she deliberately ignored the stabbing part of her that was afraid he'd drank so much that he wouldn't remember he'd sworn never, for any reason, to raise a hand to her.

"Out, Jess." Scott's growl got louder.

"No." The word fell from her lips with less strength than she wanted. It shook pitifully.

Scott stared at her, momentarily too stunned to be angry. "No?"

"No. I'm not going anywhere until I've helped that." She pointed vaguely to his back.

Fire blazed back into those steel eyes and Scott's breathing became quicker the angrier he got.

"My damn back can wait till morning. Get. Out."

"Scott…?" Jess could feel tears coming the more scared she got. " Please ? Let me help?"

For a moment she thought he was going to either punch a wall or yell at her, then it took all her willpower not skitter right into the wall behind her when he stalked closer and rigidly resumed sitting on the edge of the tub with his back to her so she could reach the messed stitches properly.

Hands shaking, Jess applied the ointment he'd told her to use and she put the bandage on as carefully as possible. When she was done she stripped off the gloves and tossed them in the garbage.

"Do…do you need anything else." She asked, her voice unbelievably small. He hadn't moved and was still facing the door, half blocking the narrow space between the tub and the sink with how big he was. She didn't know if she wanted to try slipping past him or not.

When he didn't answer, Jess gathered courage again and started to edge past. His posture and expression still told her he was livid, so when he put out hand to stop her, Jess couldn't deny the heart stopping panic shot through her.

The touch on her forearm wasn't rough or aggressive, but she startled anyway, smacking her hip soundly into the corner of the counter and squeaking with pain.

Both Scott hands retreated into fists clenched in his lap and he cursed under his breath, head dipping as he closed his eyes.

Slowing the spike in her breathing, Jess stayed still and asked again, "Do you need anything else?"

"No."

"Ok. Do..do you want me to leave?"

"Yes."

"Ok."

Jess left the bathroom and locked herself in her room before starting to collect up a few things for the night, trying to come up with a plan in her head of where she would go since he wanted her to go.

She still didn't have much of an idea when she slipped back out of her room with her backpack over her shoulder. All she knew was that she would leave quietly and not cause trouble. They could talk about it tomorrow. Probably. Or she could just pretend it never happened.

Only one problem.

Scott was still sitting on the edge of the tub, this time changing the bandage over his stab wound with squinty eyes. When she stepped into the hall, they made eye contact and Jess froze up because his frown was deepening the longer he looked at her. That and she had a full view of the place he got stabbed. That did not look little.

"Where are you going?" He asked quietly, almost sounding like himself again as he practically slapped the new bandage on and painfully pulled his shirt back on.

"I-I don't know…haven't figured out where yet."

"You do realize I meant leave the bathroom, not leave the house, right?"

"Y-you did?" Jess asked dumbly, because she absolutely had thought he meant get out of the house the first time he told her to 'get out'.

Scott gave her a tired nod. "Yeah, although I don't blame you if you wanna go. Was an asshole. Got no excuse, 'm sorry."

Stuck between still thinking she had to leave and wondering if she should just stay because maybe he shouldn't be alone, Jess offered weakly, "It's ok."

"No. It's not." Scott snapped, causing Jess to visibly flinch. Immediately he closed his eyes and rubbed his face. Keeping his face behind his hands he groaned, "It's not ok, pipsqueak. Never gonna forget that look…I scared you…bad. Never gonna forgive myself for that…head's not on straight. You're right. I shouldn't have mixed the booze and the meds. Know better. Did it anyway."

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Jess bit her lips.

"I don't know what I should do," She heard herself say.

Scott got to his feet slowly, like it hurt and leaned on the counter with his eyes closed for a moment before using the wall to guide himself out of the bathroom to his bedroom door.

"Stay or go for the night, doesn't matter to me." He paused in the small hallway, hand on the door handle, and looked at her with the most haunted, lost and broken expression Jess had ever seen. "Either way, not gonna hurt ya, pips. Never gonna hurt you. Don't care what demons are in my head, it's never gonna happen. Ever."

"Are we good?" Jess asked, her words pitching dangerously as she only just staved off a flood of tears that threatened in her chest.

"Are we?" Scott held her gaze with a dull exhaustion that didn't suit him at all.

Before either of them knew it, Jess closed the small distance between them and wrapped her arms around his middle, echoing the hug from earlier. She was careful of how in pain she supposed he must be and ignored that screaming voice in the back of her head that told her to stay away because if he flipped that switch a second time it would be worse.

She didn't expect Scott to practically sag with relief as he returned the embrace tightly.

"I'm sorry, pips."

"We're good." Jess whispered, sniffing back the two tears that escaped.

"Once I'm more sober, we're gonna talk." Scott promised as he pulled away and opened his door. "Don't lay awake thinking I'm mad at you."

Jess nodded, sternly holding back tears because she didn't want him to feel worse than she knew he already did.

"Do me one more favor." Scott's voice lowered, pausing halfway through the doorway and not looking at her.

"Yeah?"

"No tryin to wake me up if you hear me…cause I'm gonna dream tonight. Guaranteed."

"Oh. Ok. I won't."

"No. Promise me. I really can't take the thought of you gettin hurt right now."

"I promise not to interfere."

"Thank you."

Jess slipped back into her room and tossed her bag in a corner.

There was absolutely no friggin 'way she was going to be able to study now, or sleep and the torrent of feelings overwhelmed her the second she was alone.

Naturally she had a good cry. It was quiet and she knew there was no way Scott could have heard her. When she was done with that, she got ready for bed and played a computer game for a few hours before crawling into her bed. When she stared at the ceiling for another hour, listening for Scott, she figured it was a waste of time trying to sleep and finally went back to her homework at two.

By three she heard him and that promise not to wake him up ended up being the worst one she'd ever made. The mix of calls, cries and anger combined with begging someone to stay with him was utterly heartbreaking. The only thing that kept her in her room was the fact that she knew how pissed he'd be if she broke her word, and even worse if she broke it and got hurt because of it. She couldn't do that to him. He was already guilty enough about what happened earlier.

Still. Listening to him and being helpless to do anything was one of the hardest experiences of her life and she counted the seconds until he woke himself so she could make sure he was ok.

When Metal finally got himself sorted, he slumped down against the edge of his bed and put his head in his hands. Sweat made his shirt stick to him and the images in his head taunted him every time he closed his eyes again. The damn whiskey bottle from earlier sat as empty as its promises to make it easier to handle all this.

A few minutes later there was a soft knock at his door.

"Scott? Are you awake now?" Jess's shaken voice anchored him further in the present and he winced, remembering what had gone down while he was still pretty drunk.

"Yeah." He rasped.

"Ok…" Jess hesitated. "Could…could I come in for a minute?"

Not expecting that at all, Metal nearly told her no right off the mark. He didn't need her seeing him like this. She'd seen enough already because of his stupidity.

Except there was something in her tone that made him reconsider. Few people could get under his skin the way she did.

"Yeah, alright."

Her face was paler than he liked when she slipped around the edge of the door and slowly approached him.

"What do you need, Jess." He asked, rubbing his face with both palms to avoid seeing any fear or worry on her face.

"I don't need anything."

Metal went still when he felt her sit about ten centimeters from him.

"I just…" Jess's voice started to shake now with anxiety that was blanketed with a fierce determination. "Don't want you to be alone…you know…unless you want to be, in which case I'll go and I'll stop bugging you, cause I know I don't get it, and I never will, but- I don't know…I just- I don't want you to be alone."

By this point Metal had let his hands fall from his face and he was studying the girl with an uncomfortable amount of amazement and humility. She never pretended to understand and he prayed to God she never did, yet she still offered that bright, pure, genuine comfort that Metal wasn't sure he deserved.

"Thanks, pips."

"I know it's not much and-"

"Jess." Metal stopped her with a gentle warning growl. "It's more than you think. Thank you."

Nodding seriously, Jess clenched her jaw and Metal knew she was fighting back tears back right now without even looking at her.

"I'd offer you a hug, but I'm all sweaty and I know how you feel about sweat." The tired joke huffed from him as he leaned his head on the bed behind him and turned slightly to peer at her through half lidded eyes.

Her bottom lip instantly started to wobble and she whispered tightly, "I don't care if you are, I just don't want to hurt you."

Snorting with automatic arrogance, Metal painfully lifted his left arm and dropped it around her thin shoulders, prompting her closer until she was against his side. "Relax. You aren't gonna hurt me."

A small sob worked its way up and Jess's brittle mask gave way.

"You're hurting and I can't do anything about it." Jess cried. The words were so heartfelt and unaccusing that Metal didn't find they added particularly to the mountain of guilt he had already from the last hours. The girl turned her face into him and whimpered out earnestly, "I can't take it away, and I want to."

The headache around his eyes pounded as he read between the lines of those simple, honest words. She wasn't dumb. She'd seen what few ever did. She knew the legendary team guy, Full Metal, was just as broken and human as the rest of them. She knew he was in pain on so many levels right now. That both scared him and relieved him.

"Aww, pips." The deepest of affection welled up in him and he couldn't fathom what he'd done when this little sister of his wasn't part of his life. "I'm alright. Just a bad day. It'll get lumped in with the rest of them and I'll be just fine."

"I'm sorry." She mumbled, alerting him to the fact she'd gotten tense again and was holding in her crying.

"For what?"

"For breaking down. You don't need this…I shouldn't be crying."

"Jess…I am basically so incapable of crying at this point in my life that I would actually welcome being able to some days. You're fine."

"Sometimes I wish I cried less." Jess told him, wiping at her eyes and working to control the shake in her voice.

Mind orienting back to normal and using Jess as a distraction from his own issues, Metal frowned at the top of her head.

"Have you even slept yet?"

Another sob burst out and Jess shook her head.

"Do you work tomorrow morning?"

Still crying, Jess nodded this time, choking out, "It's ok. I'll just drink coffee."

"Yeah, because you and coffee go so well together." Metal growled, nudging her shoulder. "Come on. Up you get. I need a shower and you need sleep."

Getting up, Jess waited for him to ease up to his own feet before she picked at her nails and said, "I know I don't understand, but...I just don't want you to feel alone."

A fond smile tugged at his mouth and he put a hand on the back of her neck, steering them both out of his room. "You understand better than you think, kid. It's actually a little scary. Now, stop worrying about me and go to bed. I'm ok. I always am."

Jess stopped moving, craned her head back and looked him square in the eye.

"You don't have to be," She whispered with a fierce kind of conviction. "You're allowed to be human too."

The uncomfortable truth in her words dug deep, but Metal choose to brush it aside lightly, "Maybe someday, when I'm not Full Metal anymore."

"Yeah, but you're always just Scott to me," Jess mumbled. "So that means you get to be human when you're home."

Snorting instead of being irritated at her pushing the subject, he used one arm to pull her back into his better side for one last hug, saying, "Whatever you say, Dr. Phil. Got to bed."

"I'm being serious!" Jess was being persistent on this one, her small voice muffled against him.

Sighing and giving her a parting squeeze, he said seriously, "I know, pipsqueak. I hear you. Now go to bed."

"Fine."

The girl wasn't overly happy, but she didn't argue. By now it was 3:30am and she would have to get up in two hours.