Malace || Shadowhunters || Malace || Demon On Your Shoulder || Malace || Shadowhunters || Malace
Title: Demon On Your Shoulder – The Split Soul's Soulmates
Fandom: Shadowhunters: The Mortal Instruments
Disclaimer: All rights to the Shadowhunters show reserved to Ed Decter, the books the show is based off and its characters belong to Cassandra Clare. This fanfiction on the other hand is entirely mine. No money is made with this, though reviews are more than welcomed.
Tags: polyamory (m/m/m), alpha/beta/omega dynamics, soulmate AU, daemons, past child abuse, hurt/comfort, angst, explicit intercourse, anal, oral, f/f, m/f
Main Pairing: Magnus/Alec/Jace
Side Pairings: Lydia/Izzy, Simon/Clary, Luke/Catarina
Shadowhunters Characters: Jonathan 'Jace' Herondale, Magnus Bane, Alexander 'Alec' Lightwood, Isabelle Lightwood, Clarissa 'Clary' Fray, Simon Lewis, Lydia Branwell, Madzie, Catarina Loss, Luke Garroway, Raphael Santiago, Maxwell Lightwood, Imogen Herondale, Valentine Morgenstern
Daemons: Aurea (Jace's Golden Retriever), Celestina (Jace's barn owl), Shyama (Magnus' panther), Minerva (Alec's snow owl), Dolios (Max's raccoon), Nagendra (Izzy's cobra), Timon (Lydia's lynx), Seraphina (Clary's robin), Adina (Simon's rat), Ares (Andrew's dog), Piedad (Raph's bat), Menelaus (Cat's lion), Regulus (Madzie's bunny), Lupercalia (Luke's wolf), Cornelius (Imogen's horned owl)
Summary: Everyone had a daemon, an animal-shaped manifestation of their own soul, and bore a picture of their soulmate's daemon on their body. Everyone, aside from Jace. Because Valentine split his soul, giving him two daemons – and took the one on his soulmate's marks. So even when he meets them and recognizes them by their daemons, his daemon doesn't match.
Demon On Your Shoulder
The Split Soul's Soulmates
Chapter 10: The Reunited Soul (2)
The hardest part was being patient. Because Magnus and Alec had had days to sit with this. They've had days to sit with this now, to go through all possible emotions. All they could do was think about this from all angles and talk about it. One of the things they had talked about was what they would do once Jace woke up – and Magnus was very glad that they had been able to.
If they had talked about it on day one, Magnus knew things would have said from places of anger. The anger Alec and Magnus had felt had been valid back then. They'd both felt angry and rejected. After just how long Magnus had waited for his soulmates, there had been feelings of rejection that had led to anger. The same went for Alec, who had been in love with Jace for so long. The feelings of anger and rejection they had felt had been valid, but the things they would have said in the moments they had felt? Those might have done serious damage.
Magnus was glad for the past couple of days, because Alec and Magnus had been able to work through the rejection and anger. They understood Jace's reasoning, the more time passed, the more they understood. Not just because they could think more about it, but also because the bond between them and Jace strengthened with every day. A bond that hadn't been there before.
What would Magnus and Alec have done, in his place? They couldn't tell, there was no telling how they would have reacted in his shoes, in that situation. Especially now that there truly was a bond.
That was where the patience came in. Because Magnus and Alec had had about a week to work through their own feelings, to look at this from all angles. Jace didn't. Jace had woken up and all of a sudden, his world was upside down. His daemon he thought was dead was alive again. A bond he thought would never exist was there, fully. Magnus and Alec knew about said bond now. Jace was an omega again – which, to Alec and Magnus, was just about how good Jace smelt, but to Jace, this was a whole different kind of reality shift too. What had happened slowly over the course of a week to Magnus and Alec, was a very sudden and overwhelming change to Jace.
Over dinner, Alec and Magnus had talked about this and how they shouldn't push Jace, because these past days of digesting all the changes and news, Jace hadn't gotten them. Though, yes, Jace had known he was an omega – born one – and Jace had known they were his soulmates, he had believed the bond irreparably broken and his nature irreversibly changed. It wouldn't be fair to immediately expect a mature, well-thought out response from Jace, the way Magnus and Alec had, after thinking about and talking through it for days. So they'd agreed that, for now, the ball would be in Jace's court. They would give Jace space and time to come to terms with this and they'd let Jace come to them. It was up to Jace to initiate a conversation about their bond.
All of this was now a constantly repeating mantra in Magnus' head that he replayed whenever he laid eyes on Jace, to keep himself from pushing Jace. Because his rational brain was aware of all of this. His emotional brain, however, was starved for the attention of his second soulmate and all he wanted to do was pull Jace close and hold him. His alpha-side simply wanted to bury his nose in his omega's neck and relish in his scent and just maybe curl together in their bed, with Alec and Jace, for the unforeseeable future, until their scents would be so intermingled that they wouldn't be able to tell where one of them started and one ended. All these impulses and desires, Magnus knew he couldn't just give into them, and to remind himself that he couldn't he kept repeating this mantra.
What made it much, much harder was the very intense way in which Jace kept staring at him. Magnus tried to ignore it, as the warlock sat on the couch in the living room. Usually, he would rather work in his study, however... he wanted to keep an eye on Jace too, wanted to stay as close to his omega as he possibly could. And he was acutely aware of the way Jace kept staring at him. Not so much at Alec – at Alec too, every once and again, but his eyes seemed so much more intense on Magnus. Or perhaps that was because Magnus felt it was more intense on himself.
"You're staring at me," Magnus paused when he received a glare from Alec. "Is everything alright?"
There. He wasn't being pushy, was he? He was merely asking if he could help Jace with something, if there was something Jace needed from him. There was a huff from Alec that clearly showed he could see through that, but he returned his attention to his paperwork. Though Jace was awake again, they'd still bought themselves another two days of sick-leave. They would have to return to the Institute after that time. However, it wasn't just their situation Jace needed some time to digest. He was an omega now, there were whole new sensations currently overwhelming him too, going into the institute with so many more scents? One thing at a time.
"I can feel you," Jace's voice was unusually soft as he spoke, a hand on his thigh, tapping it.
"I'm sorry?" Magnus frowned, surprised.
"I can feel you," Jace tapped his thigh again. "I've only ever felt Alec. Through the parabatai bond. And I can feel him too, though this soul-bond, and it's different than the parabatai-bond, it is, but I know what it's like to feel him, to feel his emotions and his very soul."
Alec put his paperwork down now, looking at Jace too, just like Magnus was. While Magnus and Alec were sitting on the couches opposite each other, Jace was on the floor – or, more precisely, he was sitting with Shyama and Aurea, having played with Aurea until the puppy got exhausted.
"Yes," Magnus wasn't sure what to say to that. "The bond between us has been building, slowly, over the past couple of days. It... feels like the bond I share with Alexander, but you feel different."
A small humming noise, an affirmation that he had heard Jace. His other hand moved away from Shyama's side to instead rest on Jace's other thigh, also rubbing that. Magnus was starting to have a suspicion where exactly Jace's soulmarks were located.
"Yeah, it does... it feels different than the parabatai-bond, like... both are soul-bonds, but they... vibrate at different frequencies?" Jace tilted his head back, leaning more comfortably against Shyama who was pawing the carpet beneath her. "But you. Even Alec, on a different frequency, is still... Alec. You're... you. And all new. And I..."
Magnus nodded his understanding. "And you can feel me."
"And I can feel you," Jace sighed, his eyes trained on the ceiling.
As silence stretched on, Alec got up to walk over and sit down next to Magnus on the couch. His eyes wandered, finding his own daemon, curled together with Celestina on the bookshelf. Once he could see that everyone was safe and close-by, Alec relaxed against Magnus.
"I know you guys are waiting for me to say something," Jace's voice was even softer somehow. "But I don't know what to say. I don't even know what to feel. I can feel what you two are feeling, I can feel... I don't know what to do with that, to be honest."
"Jace..." Alec trailed off, looking at his parabatai.
"No," Jace turned to meet Alec's eyes. "You don't understand. From the moment we met, I knew who you were, I knew you were my... should be my... and that I can't... have you. Because there's no bond. I've spent years coming to terms with that. I became your parabatai because of that. Because I wanted to... to be close to you, to have a bond with you. And now it's just... there. This bond I thought I could never have. And I don't know what to say, Alec. I just... I don't know what to say or to feel or to... do. I thought this bond between us was forever broken."
"I... We know that," Alec's voice wavered. "We've... We've talked about that. I was... I was mad, at first, that you never told me. But... You thought that our bond was broken. And now that it's... alive again, now that I can actually feel it, where it's... never been there before... I get why you thought it was broken... maybe even... why you didn't tell me... Maybe. I don't know. I wish you'd told me, I wish I'd known, I wish I could have been there for you. But... I can't change the past. What we do have is the future and what I want is... for us to change that, together."
"If that is what you want," Magnus tagged on. "We don't want to assume what you want."
"There may be a lot I don't know right now, but I know that I want you," Jace's voice was firm as he said this, as he looked at Alec and Magnus. "It's... It's all I ever wanted. Since before he took Aurea from be. I... always thought... that my soulmates would be my escape from that life. One day, I'd meet them – meet... meet you – and then I'd be safe from my father. And then... he took that from me too. But when I met you, Alec, I... I realized that I could... be safe and loved, even if it's a different kind of love... What I... What I'm trying to say is that I've spent my entire life since I knew what soulmates were, waiting for you. And... I spent so many years thinking this bond would be gone, I... can't... I'm taking everything that you are willing to give me."
That was somehow more than Magnus had expected. But then, Jace had been sitting with his grief for a decade now. Grief over their bond gone forever and as overwhelming as all this sudden change may be, it was giving Jace a hope he had never thought he'd get.
"Everything, Jace," Alec said it like a breath that got punched out of his chest. "We want to give you everything. You're our soulmate, Jace. And you know that you are so much more to me."
"How can I be more than your soulmate, Alec?" Jace huffed, even as he got up from the floor (under the clear protests from Shyama). "There's... That's the most there is."
"You're my soulmate. You're also my parabatai," Alec stepped up to him, taking Jace's hands. "I've been in love with you for... for a long time. Since far before I knew you were my soulmate. So yes, you are so much more than just my soulmate. I need you to understand that, Jace. I need you to understand that I chose you, I chose you before I knew that fate meant for us to be together. Because we are soulmates, we are meant to be together, I've fallen in love with you even before I knew that, it's not 'I know you're my soulmate, therefore I will love you'. I loved you before I knew that."
"...Oh," Jace blinked, like he didn't know what to do with that.
"I didn't... know what to... We were both betas, and not soulmates, but parabatai, so I shoved those feelings down, I thought I could ignore them, and if I ignored them long enough they would eventually died down," Alec furrowed his brows. "But I suppose... you are my soulmate."
"I like the way you keep saying that," Jace admitted after a moment. "Soulmate."
"I like saying it," the smallest smile played on Alec's lips. "So will you take everything we are willing to give you? Because you are our soulmate. And we want you to... to be a part of our triad. We want to be everything that we can be."
"That's a lot," Jace's tongue darted out to wet his lips. "That's... more than I thought I'd ever have."
"And we understand that," Magnus walked over to stand next to the pair, resting a gentle hand on Jace's upper arm. "We don't have to rush into anything. But we do need you to know that that's what we're offering and... that that's what we want. Okay?"
"You're way too patient about this," Jace actually frowned at him at that. "Ever since you came into our life and you and Alec... I have been playing this scenario in my mind, what if you two found out. And there was always so much more yelling in it."
"Admittedly, I do think there would have been more yelling if you hadn't opted for a light coma," Magnus tilted his head, offering a playful smile. "If we've had this conversation right away. But, Alexander and I have had time to sit with our feelings and also to talk about this with each other. And I think that... that helped, it helped us deal with it all and with... our own feelings about it."
"Right," Jace grunted. "Glad my 'light coma' was useful."
"It was," Magnus' expression was more serious this time. "It helped you heal."
Another grunt from Jace, this time from the brute force of a panther nudging him from behind to push him against Magnus. Impatient Shyama. Magnus aimed a half-hearted glare at her, even as he wrapped his arms around Jace to steady him. Shyama looked at him entirely unapologetic.
"You have kept me waiting too long," Shyama raised her head, glaring at Magnus. "My Jace."
She gave Jace a last, very gentle nudge, before heading into the bedroom. Well, she wasn't wrong. She had been telling him from the get-go that Jace was hers. Was supposed to be theirs. However, she had been missing the words to express it too – she could feel that he was hers, but she also couldn't entirely explain it because the bond had not been there, not fully.
"...She'd been able to feel me the whole time, hasn't she?" Jace blinked a couple of times, surprised. "That's why she's been so affectionate with me. I was... that was a surprise from the get go."
"It might come with our age," Magnus mused, a hand subconsciously wandering up to run through Jace's hair. We've spent... so much time looking for our... for you, both of you. She might be more intuned to... you, than I am. She might have felt the connection, as faint as it may have been."
There was such a warm sensation in Magnus' stomach as he noticed that Jace not only didn't move away from him but rather leaned into him, his touch. So Magnus continued, gently running his fingers through the long, soft golden strands, enjoying the sweet honey scent of his omega.
"What do you want to do?" Alec asked, watching Magnus and Jace.
"Bed!" Aurea replied, suddenly up and about, voice filled with excitement. "Shyama wants cuddles! I want cuddles too, cuddles sound good! Let's go all get cuddles, yes?"
Though the puppy had been down and out just seconds ago, she was now wide-awake and running up to them, circling them with a wagging tail. Since Alec was unoccupied at the moment, he bent down to pick her up with a broad smile. She immediately started licking his face, happy to be tended to by one of her humans. After years of isolation – something neither Jace, Alec or Magnus could begin to imagine – she was not just finally free, she had humans who loved her. Touch-starved didn't even begin to describe her, so the three of them made sure that one of them stayed constantly close to Aurea, to provide her with the comfort and protection she needed.
"If the golden puppy demands cuddles, she shall have them," Alec smiled and carried her to the bedroom. "Are you two going to join us, or are you too busy?"
There was a moment of hesitance as Jace looked at Magnus' bedroom and Magnus could see it. It had been one thing for him to wake up in their bed after being put there by them, but to go there, while conscious... Magnus let his hand slip down into Jace's to hand, giving it a squeeze. It was enough to get Jace moving into the direction of the bedroom too.
/break\
"I'm sorry," Jace looked at the barely waking up forms of both Magnus and Alec. "I know you've been thinking about things for days and you... I'm glad there was no yelling, but... I'm sorry. For lying. Now that I can actually feel it... I know you... I know you should have deserved to know too, even though there was no bond between us, you would have deserved to know too."
"We did," Magnus agreed, but there was no judgment in his voice. "I appreciate the apology."
"I don't think I would have told you," admitted Alec after a moment, finding Jace's eyes. "If I had been you, if I had grown up all alone. I've... been so afraid of my own feelings already, the way I was raised, I don't know how much more afraid I would have been had Valentine raised me. I don't think I would have told you, I... I probably wouldn't have. I still wish I'd known, but I think I do understand why you didn't tell me."
Jace bit his lower lip and reached out to take Alec's hand. All three of them were on the bed together, after having fallen asleep together last night after cuddling. He'd fallen asleep between his soulmates. This was still overwhelming for him, but in the most positive way he could imagine.
"We'll have to go back to the Institute tomorrow," Jace frowned at that thought and instinctively snuggled closer to Magnus. "I don't... I don't know what to do..."
"Talk to us," offered Magnus. "You're not alone anymore, Jace. You're not that little boy stuck with Valentine in that cabin anymore. You have Alexander and me and we will be there for you."
"How..." Jace hiccuped out a half-laugh. "How do I explain that I'm an omega now?"
Alec and Magnus exchanged a brief look at that. This was another thing they'd spoken about over the past days. There were ways to hide it, in theory, Jace could go on suppressants, it would allow him to continue presenting as a beta. It would be the easiest solution, but...
"You know suppressants exist," Magnus offered. "And let me make clear that this is entirely your choice because it's about your body and about how you feel most comfortable in your body. A lot has happened very suddenly and it may be too much. If you want to slow all of that down and buy yourself some time, suppressants would allow you to present as a beta. We could hide our bond and buy you some more time in the public to adjust to your new situation."
"And, like Magnus said, that's about you, okay?" Alec added very quickly. "About how you feel most comfortable. Not about us being ashamed of this somehow, we want you, we want our bond to be public, I can't tell you how much I want to show off having my alpha and my omega, so don't... don't think even for a moment that we're ashamed and want you to hide on our account."
"...You two totally rehearsed this conversation with different scenarios on how I'd react, huh?"
Both Alec and Magnus looked sheepish at that, so Jace knew he had hit the nail on the head with that. Why did he find that charming. Huffing out a little laugh, Jace rested his head on Magnus' chest. This was sweet. A bit silly but definitely sweet. Okay. They were right. He could do that. This was an option, a pretty good one actually, it'd indeed give him more time. But...
"I don't..." Jace ground his teeth. "I don't want that. I feel... This feels... I like this?"
"Y... You do?" Alec looked genuinely surprised by that. "I'm sorry, I just... I didn't..."
"Yeah," Jace sat up, pulling his knees up against his chest. "I didn't expect that either. But it feels like I... Like I've spent the past decade with shackles, weights, and cotton I don't know in my ears and nose or something. Everything is so much sharper now and the thought of going back is... I don't want that. Something that's been taken forcibly away from me has finally been returned to me and I am not giving it up without a fight."
"Okay," Magnus nodded at that. "And we support that too."
"It'll just... raise some questions and we should prepare what kind of answers we want to give, parabatai," Alec grasped Jace's hand and pulled it close enough to kiss his knuckles.
"I... don't know..." Jace leaned in closer, closer to the both of them. "Open for suggestions though."
"Here's a... wild suggestion," Magnus sounded rather serious. "The truth."
Jace frowned up at him. "I don't know if I like that."
"We have had Valentine's books for this past week, thanks to Isabelle, and her and Clary have been working through them on account of the Clave. But at one point, what is documented in them will go into the records of the Clave. They'll know that you were an omega and they will know what Valentine has done. They already know that Clary has strange powers from Valentine's experiments on her," Magnus paused for just a moment. "I may not trust the Clave, but I think that there is nothing here that they will not learn anyway and I think that the truth will be the... better approach."
"I don't... know..." Jace didn't look happy with that.
"There's... something else I don't know if you've considered that yet, Jace," Alec rubbed his thumb over Jace's knuckles. "The inquisitor is still in charge of the Institute. Inquisitor Herondale."
"Herondale. Right. Right. That's... There's something else there," Jace grunted and seemed to try and hide. "I have... This one is for real, right? This time it's... This is real, right?"
Alec leaned in and pressed the most gentle kiss to Jace's cheek. "Yes. This one is for real. We did compare your DNA to the inquisitor's while you were out cold. No more believing Valentine. This isn't like believing you're a Wayland, or a Morgenstern... This time, it's real."
"I have..." Jace swallowed hard and rolled over to stare up at the ceiling. "I have living family."
"You have living family," Alec confirmed, smiling just a little. "And she's in the city right now."
"I don't know if I'm ready to meet her," Jace covered his face, rubbing it. "This feels like even more than the bond. I have been through too many family name changes in the past months."
"You're not alone," Alec's voice was soft. "You don't have to meet her alone."
Right. Yeah, this wasn't like the last times and he wasn't alone. He wasn't alone. He had... them.
Author's note: BEHOLD! Mature conversations! I know I love my misunderstandings and dramatics but how about some "we sat with our feelings for a week so we're actually prepared for this conversation", figured that'd be a nice change. NEXT chapter, Jace has to face the music, or rather, the grandma ;D