Sarah fought to keep a calm exterior, gazing around the Brentaal Naval Spaceport, because she was anything but calm on the inside. She wanted to scream, to rage, to tear at her hair and demand an explanation from the very sky above her. She was not surprised or even caught off guard by the steel words of the 'request' to report to the Temple but that didn't mean she wanted to reply to it. She wanted to stay here, with Carth. With the kids. Trying to put together a real life from the shattered pieces she had left at her disposal. But no.

Carth was trying so hard to be strong, to look like he wasn't scared. She knew better, she could feel it in the very air around him. He was scared. And like her, he was resentful. Well, those she understood all too well. But it didn't matter. She was coming back in one piece to pick up where they left off at. She just couldn't make the same guarantee for those who were going to be dealing with her. "I've got this." She murmured to him and he nodded slightly. He just needed to have faith in her and she just needed to have self control. She couldn't go in front of the Council with carnage in her heart, as tempting as it was.

"I know."

"If this goes badly, meet me on Nar Shaddaa. The last apartment we were at, go there and I will find you." Here was not the place, now was not the time to show doubts to him. Obviously, if the Temple were intent to keep her, she was not going to be showing up at Nar Shaddaa...at least not until she managed to get loose. She was confident that she could, eventually, get loose from even the Temple...if they didn't pull another fast one like the Dantooine Enclave had with her. And that was a terrible idea, she couldn't do that again. Losing Carth, the very memory of him, would destroy her. "Just remember...the Jedi do not execute their prisoners."

"That is so very not funny." He groused back, she knew he was well aware that was what had started this whole mess in the first place. But in 'following' that precept, the Dantooine Enclave had done the unforgivable with her. They'd succeeded and she had to give them credit for that, they'd done desperate things in a desperate time. That, at least, she understood. Although she'd never admit it aloud, she would have done the same damn thing. It didn't mean she forgave them, though, and it was a deep insight into how they had lost so many of their crop to the dark side. She had been one of them, but for the life of her, she could not remember the how and why of it all. That was all a tightly held blank, nothing she was allowed to see or know anymore. And that was fine as long as she could be here, with Carth. She was willing to step away from it all if they'd only let her. She glanced around the spaceport, trying to wrap herself up in its reality. This was normal. Everyday. The trip between Brentaal and Coruscant was short and well traveled, both Core worlds, both on the Permelian Route. She'd be there in just a matter of hours instead of days, she wouldn't even have a cabin...only a seat.

She had chosen to wear her abbreviated short robes, the ones that said "Well, I might be a Jedi...or might just like the look of one..." There was no doubt that she was armed, and no doubt that she'd have to get her sabers through security. But she wasn't going to the Temple without them, that would just be...wrong. She just didn't know what she was anymore. Was she still a Jedi? Not? It was all such a mess.

If they were that terribly worried about you, they wouldn't have let you leave Coruscant to make the trip to Brentaal in the first place... Creating Sarah out of the shattered remains of Darth Revan had been the Dantooine Enclave's handiwork, but the Temple on Coruscant had been the ones to tend her immediately upon her return to the Core worlds. They'd had her at one of her most vulnerable points and they'd let her go. She just needed to keep that in her mind...

"There's your boarding call. Contact me when you can, okay?"

"Will do." It was odd to leave him, she'd been in and out of consciousness when she'd been taken to Coruscant instead of Brentaal, so she'd never really committed to leaving his side. That had been someone else's decision made on her behalf. It certainly had not been Carth's idea, either. "I love you." She was not going to sound dire. Absolutely not.

"I love you too, Babe. See you when you get back."

Yes, one way or the other. She watched him walk away from her, fighting the urge to go after him, and pulled her identification out of her pocket. Hopefully, hopefully, this would work. She was dead on her actual id and had serious doubts if she'd answer to her own name if someone called it. That was the past denied to her now.

She got into the line at its tail, well aware she was a security nightmare and unwilling to hold things up any more than she was already going to. At least these other people could take their seats, make the flight, if she couldn't. It would be great if she was denied boarding, then she could just...go home. At least until the Temple sent a ship to come get her, with a Jedi handler...no. This was the best way to do this.

The attendant glanced up at her when she rested her id on the counter, and she gave him a faint smile. It had taken some doing to get her eyes to finally switch back over to their natural color...happy thoughts and such...hopefully they were still what they were supposed to be...still what her id said they were. "Morning." She greeted the Duro, feeling her 'I am normal' camouflage settle around her. She had been blessed with a perfectly average countenance, unremarkable in every way. What better way to hide Revan?

"Good morning. Are you carrying any foodexplosivesweaponsundeclaredmoneyordrugs?"

"Yes." That admission finally got his full attention and he regarded her warily. He slid a basket across the counter and she sighed...she'd never liked giving away a lightsaber, even very temporarily and ordinarily she would have had the 'I'm a Jedi!' status to back her up. Now, she wasn't so certain. She placed the pair of them in the basket, eying them regretfully. They were hers, intrinsically part of her. Even more than the lightsaber she'd carried through the mission to the Star Forge, these were the sabers she'd been born and forged to carry. "Don't kill yourself with those."

It was obvious he was not going to kill himself with them because he wasn't going to even touch them...pushing the basket right back at her. "Silly Jedi." He muttered under his breath. "Any other foodexplosivesweaponsundeclaredmoneyordrugs?"

"No." She reclaimed them from the basket, running her fingertips over the flowing floral pattern carved into their sides. These were beyond precious, they were irreplaceable. She could not return to the Star Forge to replace the crystals within them, it was gone. "Nothing like that." Jedi? Was he willing to accept her as that simply from her noncommittal clothing and two lightsabers? She doubted that, but he was utterly convinced that she was one...she could skim that off of the top of his thoughts. Ah. Her id had been flagged as such, probably by the Temple. Well, whatever worked was good, she just wanted to get this over with.

It took much less time than she was dreading, she was moved onto the transport quickly and shown to her seat. Being alone was bizarre, it wasn't her normal state, and for most of the cohesive remains of her memory, she'd been with people...with Carth. Her reality truly started with him, everything else was shadows, ghosts of a fading dream. She was almost forty but her memories only encompassed a couple of years. It was suddenly almost overwhelming and she closed her eyes against it.

I am okay. I am Sarah, Carth's beloved. I have to be strong, for him. I have to come out the other side, for Dustil. No one else can be his master. He is the most vulnerable one in this whole mess.

It was just her luck to be seated surrounded by a very excited family, the three children on their first ever space voyage and more than happy to let Sarah...and everyone else around them...know that. Loudly.

There is no emotion, there is only peace. Well, that was obviously not the truth here. Had she ever had that kind of patience?

No.

Well, no big surprise there. Nothing in her own press made her believe she'd ever been anything but a weapon, pretty much unchanged except for the dogma of the...

Her surroundings blurred and she sat up suddenly, scrambling to push that away. No, no, no. Not here. Not now. Not without a comrade to pick her up. That should have gone away when she'd remembered who and what she was. But that was the point...she hadn't remembered. Not truly. She was a collection of boxes, most securely taped up with labels that screamed 'Do not open!', while only the uppermost, most recent ones had been delved into.

The sticky warm grip of a toddler jolted her back into reality and centered her. She stared into the wide brown eyes of the owner of the warm and sticky grip, an entranced, curly haired cherub who obviously found her much more interesting than the chaos of its own family. It was mostly clean and its mother was distracted with the older siblings, so Sarah let it find its way into her lap. She was fairly certain it was a little boy, but it was at that age when it was damned difficult to tell without peeking. All she knew was that it was very grounding, very difficult to fall when her lap was filled with child. And honestly, although the details were blurred, she knew she'd always been fairly good with children. She'd never had to do more than her fair share of creche duty in the Enclave to teach her how to care for another living sentient.

"Oh, I am so sorry! I mean..." The child's mother had returned with its siblings in tow.

"He's fine where he is." Definitely fine, in fact Sarah was certain he'd fallen asleep. And asleep meant they were down to only two mobile and loud small ones in the vicinity.

I want...

Yes, well, that was one of those things that needed to be tamped down and dealt with later...assuming that there was a later. For all of the brave face she'd put on with Carth, for all of the contingency plans she'd given him, this had her worried. There was a good, good chance that she wasn't coming out of the Temple.

No. Even I have to tear the Temple down around their ears, I will be coming home. She still had resources at her disposal and if cornered, she'd definitely use them. Things were not over, yet. She'd brought them to the brink before, if they would not let her live what little she had left of her own life again, she'd simply repeat the process. Now that she knew she still had followers, knew the name of at least one of the force sensitive ones, she could sense them. They'd been pulled out of the Star Forge during its fall and they were still out there, waiting. Now, they even knew she was still alive...

The chime of the landing approach bell brought her out of her reverie and she shifted the boneless toddler back to his mother's care. It was time to go get this started.