"I can't believe that guy, he just couldn't take a hint." Nonon grinned as she was wrapped around one of Satsuki's arms. They were walking back to Nonon's house after a night out on the town. Nonon was wearing a long black evening gown with an open back, her hair down.

"He didn't understand at all when you said you were on a date already." Satsuki was smiling just like Nonon was. She had a white cocktail dress on with thin strings holding it up.

"He was like 'with who?' Then when we told him we were together, he was all 'come on, really?' and was throwing his head back and crap. He really thought I was just playing hard to get." Her manner of speech along with the pink in her cheeks revealed Nonon was still a little tipsy from doing some bar hopping earlier, though she had mostly returned to sobriety. Meanwhile Satsuki seemed unfazed no matter how much alcohol she ingested.

"Thankfully the bouncer was there when he started getting forceful, not that I couldn't have stopped him myself."

"That jackass was lucky the bouncer stepped in or you would have broken his skull."

"I wouldn't have gone that far. Throwing him across the bar would have been satisfactory."

"Now I wish the bouncer didn't show up." Nonon giggled.

"I'd never let anyone take you away, you're mine after all."

The pair arrived at Nonon's front door, the short woman fishing in her handbag for her keys.

"Do you wanna come in?"

"I'd love to."

Nonon opened the door and stepped aside so Satsuki could enter first. The two girls entered Nonon's home which felt especially cozy after a whole day spent out in the city.

"Do you want anything to drink?"

"No thank you, I'm not thirsty." Satsuki's face twitched for a second. "By the way, I have a question to ask."

"What is it?" Nonon tensed up.

"I just felt like I should ask this now so expectations are clear. Do you want to continue where we left off last time?"

"What do you mean?" Nonon knew what Satsuki meant.

"Do you want to have sex?"

Nonon's body suddenly felt heavier.

"Well do you wanna have sex?" Nonon parroted.

"I would like to, but only if you do."

At first Nonon tried to think of a way to avoid having to give a direct answer, or at least stall for time, but nothing came to her.

Nonon wanted to have sex with Satsuki, really badly in fact, but she was still uncertain of how it would go if they did. There was an ever present bad feeling that Nonon had whenever she considered having sex with Satsuki. And yet…

"I wanna have sex."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. If I'm being honest, I've been dying to have sex with you, and I've felt pretty pent up lately, and that's with me masturbating frequently. Whenever I think of you, it really gets me going." Nonon's filter faded away as she continued to talk.

"I'm flattered to hear I have that effect on you." Satsuki walked up close to Nonon, her hand stroking Nonon's cheek. The touch made the short woman get goosebumps. "Do you want to do it right now, or would you like to prepare?"

"Right now, please." Nonon squeaked.

"Where would you like to do it?" Satsuki's face got close, her voice breathy.

"I, uh, I-I'm not sure. My bedroom's cramped because of all my stuffed animals. We could try the couch, but it might be a little awkward if we d-did it there, especially for our first time. I guess we could make some room in my…room." Nonon could hear her own heartbeat.

"That sounds good."

Suddenly Nonon was no longer on her feet. She had been scooped up by Satsuki who held her in a bridal carry.

"I see." That was all Nonon could say as she turned red. Looking up at the smiling Satsuki, Nonon felt a sense of safety as well as possession. It was like she was Satsuki's and Satsuki's alone, and she liked that. Nonon's arms wrapped around the back of Satsuki's neck.

Satsuki carried Nonon into the bedroom, placing the shorter woman down onto the bed. Nonon looked around at all the stuffed animals on the bed and immediately started pushing them all onto the floor.

As Nonon cleared space, Satsuki got onto the bed, looming over Nonon with her arms at the sides of the shorter woman's head. It was the exact position they were in when they last tried to have sex. They really were picking up where they left off.

Nonon curved her torso, crossed her legs, and fluttered her lashes in an attempt to be sexy. While Nonon couldn't tell if she was coming off as sexy, she was definitely feeling silly.

"Ready?" Satsuki's eyes pierced into Nonon's.

"Ready." Nonon swallowed some spit.

Closer. Satsuki's face came closer. It was lowering towards Nonon's. A part of Nonon wanted to turn her face away, to avoid having to follow through with this moment. She anticipated an interruption like the phone alert last time, but there were no signs that such an intrusion would come. Nonon couldn't run away, that would hurt Satsuki, and Nonon herself wanted to make love to Satsuki.

Centimeters separated Nonon and Satsuki's lips, and soon the gap consisted of mere millimeters. Nonon's jaw quivered.

Their lips connected. They were kissing. This was really happening.

Nonon felt Satsuki's soft lips. Their bodies were connected. Kissing was such a simple action, and yet Nonon felt so much as she kissed Satsuki. Her first feeling was shock at the fact that Satsuki was really kissing her. Following shock was catharsis at finally kissing Satsuki after fantasizing about doing so for over a decade. Next was bliss because kissing Satsuki felt so good.

Kissing turned to making out as Satsuki pushed her tongue into Nonon's mouth. Heat built up between Nonon's legs and she became more sloppy as she tried caressing Satsuki's tongue with her own. She wanted to try and use technique to ensure Satsuki would enjoy this, but Nonon was too drunk on her own lust and passion to be precise.

Satsuki pulled her head away, and Nonon tried to reach her head forward to close the distance and continue making out, her tongue lolling out of her mouth in need.

"How do you want me to fuck you?" The smile on Satsuki's face as she slowly spoke those words made Nonon nearly squeal. So many of Nonon's fantasies came to her mind. Would Satsuki really do whatever she asked? In that case, which of the scenarios she came up with should she choose? Which was her favorite? Which would be a good baseline for their first time?

"I wanna be able to see your face since it's our first time."

"In that case how about fingering?"

"That sounds good."

Both girls undressed quickly, Nonon trying to come off as sensual in how she did it to arouse Satsuki.

What came next was ecstasy. Satsuki's hand teased Nonon's crotch before slowly penetrating. Each individual finger carefully caressed Nonon's folds and clitoris. It was all so precise. Nonon was left drooling and curving her back to the limit. Every inch of the shorter woman's body solidified in response to the pleasure, it was like she was being frozen by the all-encompassing joy that left her trapped in a block of euphoria.

This was what Nonon had wanted for so long. It was so wonderful that Nonon was struggling to believe she wasn't dreaming, but the pleasure was too great to be something she imagined. She actually started to tear up a bit from how overwhelming it was to have Satsuki really have sex with her.

Nonon looked up at Satsuki who was still smiling, but it wasn't a smile of sexual pleasure. Well, perhaps it was, but it wasn't one of arousal in the traditional sense. The closest expression Nonon could liken it to was the way Satsuki grinned when she was the student council president of Honnōji Academy and acted as a tyrant to make sure her mother wouldn't suspect she was planning to double cross her. Actually it really resembled how Ragyō would smirk. It was scary yet exciting.

Currently Nonon wasn't participating much in the sex beyond thrusting her hips into Satsuki's hand. Nonon didn't want to just receive, she wanted to make sure Satsuki got pleasured too.

"Satsuki." Nonon exhaled. "I want you to feel good too."

"I'm already feeling good." Satsuki's fingering became a little rougher.

"Are you sure? If you don't wanna be fingered then…" Nonon bent her knee so it was raised and her shin was right next to Satsuki's groin. "I can just push this into your pussy. You can grind into it. Actually, I can do the movement myself since you're already focused on fingering me."

"No, thank you. I want to do the fucking, not get fucked." There was a harshness in how Satsuki spoke as her fingers continued to be more forceful.

"O-Okay." Nonon inhaled sharply through her teeth. "Can you be a little softer?"

Satsuki didn't respond.

The sex continued, or rather, Satsuki continued to fuck Nonon.

Despite Satsuki not communicating much, Nonon couldn't complain as everything Satsuki did made her feel amazing. The way Satsuki played with Nonon's breasts made the shorter woman groan out like an animal. Each one of Satsuki's touches had a purpose, it was as if she was playing Nonon like an instrument, using Nonon's erogenous zones to create a song of her moans. At this point Nonon had orgasmed multiple times, but Satsuki never let up, she kept on playing with Nonon.

It was starting to hurt as Nonon's body grew raw. While she was still enjoying the sex, Nonon wasn't fond of the pain. Nonon wanted to keep going, but Satsuki wasn't giving Nonon any breaks to recover.

"Satsuki, can we stop for a sec. I need a break."

"You get a break when I say so."

"No, seriously, we gotta pause for a bit. It hurts."

"Just a little longer." Satsuki wasn't looking Nonon in the eye anymore. She was looking at Nonon's body as a whole, like it was all just one thing she was having fun with. Right now Satsuki was looking at Nonon like an object and not a person.

"Please, Satsuki!" Nonon winced in pain.

A sharp inhale came through Satsuki's teeth and she pulled her hands away from Nonon. Satsuki was shaking while her teeth grit.

Nonon was splayed out on the bed, her body drenched in sweat. Echoes of Satsuki's touch and the pleasure that accompanied it left Nonon reeling. At the same time she felt like she had just gotten the beating of her life. She couldn't even move.

Satsuki sat at the edge of the bed, facing away from Nonon.

"I'm sorry." Satsuki sounded frustrated, but Nonon couldn't tell what she was specifically frustrated about.

"It's okay, you got lost in the moment, I get it. I just need a break. It was starting to hurt too much since you just kept going and going. Besides that you were amazing. That was the best sex of my life."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"I'm sorry."

"Satsuki? Is something wrong?" Nonon looked towards Satsuki who was gripping her knees tightly.

"I went too far. You were asking me to stop, but I wouldn't."

"You did in the end. You probably just didn't really process that I was serious."

"That isn't an excuse." Satsuki put her hand on her face. "This is what I worried would happen."

"What do you mean?"

"I…" Satsuki's body hunched forward. "At first I was worried that entering a relationship with another woman would cause me to have flashbacks to what my mother did to me, and I can't say there were no moments where I was slightly triggered, but it was never anything I couldn't handle. The real issue is something even worse. I started acting like my mother."

"How were you acting like your mother? If you mean being sexually abusive, you didn't force me to have sex with you. The only thing you did wrong was ignore me telling you to stop briefly, like, for less than five seconds. You made a bad decision and the fact you're upset about it proves you know you need to improve and want to do so. That's more than your mother would ever even think of doing."

"It's not just that. The reason my mother molested me was because she wanted to possess and control me, it was an assertion of dominance. She wanted to prove she could fuck me and that I couldn't do anything to stop her. All throughout us having sex, and even before then when we went on dates, I was constantly looking at how you were infatuated with me, and how you'd do what I'd say so easily, and that made me feel good. It made me feel like I owned you, that you were mine and nobody else's."

"Most people feel a little possessive of who they're in a romantic relationship with."

"But it wasn't just possessiveness, it was a sense of ownership. I subconsciously felt like you were my property. That's exactly how my mother would think."

"It wasn't like you were telling me I had to do what you said or anything, right?"

"That's true." Satsuki's grip on her face loosened.

"You might have some dark thoughts, but you didn't act on them in any way. You didn't even have sex with me until I consented, and you double checked that I was really sure I wanted to have sex with you. I understand that you're worried you might be like your mom, it makes sense that you would be, but you aren't like her. If she was in your shoes, she would have probably forced me into a closet and fucked me after we went to the bowling alley on our first date."

"You're right."

"So don't beat yourself up about this, as long as you're conscious of what you're thinking and how you act, everything will be fine." Nonon gathered her strength into her arms and neck so she could push herself up into a sitting position. "I trust you, Satsuki. I trust you more than anyone else. I…I love you, Satsuki."

Satsuki sat up straight again and turned to face Nonon. The way Satsuki's face creased and stretched wide, it was a look that Nonon had never seen before on Satsuki.

"I love you too, Nonon, but that's why I don't think it would be a good idea for us to be in a relationship. Like you said, as long as I keep a leash on my urges, then things will be fine, but what if they slip free? They did when we had sex just now, and it could happen again. I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm okay with risking getting hurt as long as I get to be with you!" Nonon felt panic surge through her entire being as soon as Satsuki said she didn't think they should be in a relationship.

"You might be okay with risking it, but I'm not. There's no way I could forgive myself for seriously hurting you. I already hurt you, you said so yourself."

"I'm just a little raw from getting fingered for so long, it's not a big deal! None of this is a big deal! I mean, not that your trauma isn't a big deal, it's important to acknowledge what you went through and be careful and everything, but my point is, uh, I just…please, I've never been happier than when we've been together lately! I don't want this to end!"

"I know. I know. But…I'm just scared. I can't end up like my mother. I can't risk it. I'm sorry." Satsuki turned away again.

"Please, we can figure this out! If the problem is having sex, then we can just never have sex again! I'm fine with that! I love you for who you are, not your body! We don't even have to kiss or touch each other, as long as I can be with you, then I don't care!" Nonon was filled with ardor that let her move as if she hadn't been drained of all energy mere moments ago. She crawled over to Satsuki and reached to touch her back, but then her hand stopped short of making contact. "Satsuki, I want to be yours."

"I'm sorry, Nonon. I just can't do this." Satsuki's voice was weak.

After finally making love with Satsuki, something Nonon always dreamed of, she was now being rejected. No, Nonon wasn't being rejected, Satsuki was rejecting herself. Nonon understood Satsuki's concerns, she accepted those concerns, but it still hurt to be told that they couldn't be together.

Nonon began to cry silently. She curled into a ball, clutching the sheets of her bed as she lost her long held dream.

That was the end of Nonon and Satsuki's first time making love.