Anxiety coursed through Amelia's veins.
Sleep had evaded her throughout the night, leaving her fidgety.
Annoyed with her restlessness she began packing early — hating how her mind quickly took to conjuring horrible scenarios. Out of everything, losing the child came to be the worst. The guilt would be overbearing — she couldn't handle another death.
Not another kid.
The simple thought sent her spiraling. Her body was tense and twitchy. Every mistake she's ever made came to the forefront of her mind — and for the first time she began to doubt herself.
Every failure pounded at her temple — a reminder of her flaws, of her humanity and her weaknesses. It reminded her of the crooked way she adapted — the fade of her morals.
She hated how she became a separate person — shedding her old life like used skin once the new world evolved — when the dead began walking among the living.
In the back of her mind she knows this is a pivotal moment in her new life — as a new person. And the weight of the fact hangs heavy in her chest. Her brain was treating it like a mission — falling into an old routine. Trying to self-soothe. But something held her back, wouldn't allow her to fully commit — maybe this is where her lack of control stemmed from.
Her thoughts were going haywire — everythings scrambled and obscure. Every thought was blurred under the weight of her responsibility — of the child.
Amelia now held not only her life in her hands but also another's — given to her like a safekeep. The sole thought fell heavy on her shoulders. And for a single isolated moment she allowed the fear to consume her, succumbing to her worries and relinquished the tight grip of control. She allowed herself to shudder at the thought — if only for a moment.
In a single instant, she crumbles into herself — and plays with the thought of giving up.
But then, through unfocused eyes, she catches a glimpse of the lighting sky — a pale blue that lets her know it's the new day — time to go. And she feeds the shell of her former self — welcomes her like an old friend.
Suddenly, her body's moving on autopilot. Rampant thoughts drown to a quiet hum at the back of her mind — they're placid — for now. The demeanor of a soldier is welcomed — glides and locks into place. There's an unnerving aspect to how quick her body can switch on and off — but it's never for long.
Shouldering her backpack, Amelia walks over to the sleeping child and nudges her with the toe of her foot.
She knows they have to leave early if she wants to get back before sundown. "Hey kid. Wake up." She punctuates every word with a gentle nudge, but the girl continues to sleep and shifts away from the prodding.
It takes a harsher jab to the ankle to wake the child, "C'mon. Get dressed. You'll eat on the way." And if Amelia felt guilty for waking Sophia, she hides it well.
—
The woods are still dark as they travel through — barely lit as the sky shines past a mesh of leaves.
Shadow's of overhanging limbs stretch across the floor. The invisible trail that Amelia follows is barely visible over patchy undergrowth. Sophia stumbles and trembles as she grips into the waist of Amelia's pants — who stopped pushing the girl off her after the first few mishaps. Now every tumble Sophia takes Amelia right it with a heavy hand to the girl's nape.
The two travel silently — asides from the missteps of Sophia.
Amelia remains hyper-focus on their surroundings — straining every sense to ensure their survival. She listens for the uneven stumbles of the dead — but more importantly the footfall of the living.
Amelia's traveled these woods. She knows how to act around a few corpses — even a horde. But, what really puts her on edge are the few living she's come across.
People today are scared and desperate. They'll fight tooth-and-nail for what they need — steal and maim if it comes to it. And, Amelia commends them — this world isn't for living anymore it's for surviving. But, she takes issue with those who hurt for fun — who take to nasty threats and demands.
And right now she doesn't need any threats. She simply needs to get the child back to her people — needs a smooth trip, just get from place A to B.
So she pulls out a bit of that well hidden Catholic faith and prays — prays to whoever will listen, not for herself but for Sophia.
—
Amelia feels herself sigh in relief, they made it out the woods unscathed — sure she's covered in gore and the girl's still shaking from the few dead they met. But the girl's safe and a step closer to getting to her people.
Over a steep hill Amelia can see the jammed highway. Turning to Sophia, she nudges her head, "Come on," and starts her way towards it.
Once they make it to the mouth of the blockade, Amelia quickly notices Sophia starts to get antsy. She carefully analyzes the girl — tugging at her shirt, shifty eyes and shuffling feet. The longer Sophia's gaze lingers on cars the worse her nervous ticks become.
Amelia shifts her gaze to the traffic jam wondering what's making the girl so nervous — sure it's a bit gruesome, all the lone cars as people rush to find safety. Or maybe the lingering bodies trapped in their vehicles — like a personal prison. But it isn't different than navigating through the woods as the dead stumble after you.
Suddenly the thought hits her. The kid recognizes the place.
Still gazing at the cars she asks, "You scared, girl?"
A stretch of silence passes between the two, that confirms her suspicions.
Amelia can hear the rasp of gravel under Sophia's shoe and decides to comfortably lean against a nearby car — she gives the girl a moment to think about her answer, possibly reevaluate her life as she's about to cross the road that left her stranded and lost. She knows there's no point in rushing the girl — she'll have to get her across the highway anyways.
And, just when the heat of the sun starts to barely sting she finally hears the girl.
Sophia's voice comes out in a small tremor and Amelia can feel her gaze as it burns into the back of her head. "I'm scared, Ms. Amelia."
Amelia doesn't move from her place and instead shifts her head just enough to stare at the girl. "Why?"
The girl seems dumbfounded at the question before coming to an answer. "I got lost here."
"Yea, but that's cause your people are stupid—," Amelia shakes her head amazed at how eight adults could lose one little girl, "—and I'm not stupid. Right?"
Ameila's tone and piercing gaze directed at Sophia has the girl readily nodding in agreement.
Satisfied, Amelia nods her head, "Good."
"Now," Amelia moves to grab Sophia's arm, "you're gonna grip here," she places it on the loop of her belt. "You let go, you gotta move by yourself. We clear?"
Amelia receives a single nod, letting her know it was time to move on.
They're crouched as Amelia carefully weaves them between cars. Her right hand is wrapped around Sophia's wrist making sure the girl doesn't slip away. Amelia's weary — she's making sure to check every corner before moving forwards. Thankfully she hasn't seen a single corpse but continues to grip Sophia — if simply to offer her a sense of comfort.
She can see the end of the blockade a few cars up and moves a bit faster. But as they reach the last row of cars Amelia spots a lone corpse. She quickly gestures to Sophia to stay quiet before moving them behind a car. Peeking through the car's window Amelia checks for any more corpses before moving forward — however her movement is restricted by how closely Sophia has bound herself to Amelia's back.
The warmth and shivers racking Sophia's body are incredibly uncomfortable and Amelia tries to shuffle the girl off.
"Get off, kid." Amelia whispers harshly, feeling Sophia press her face between her shoulder blades.
Frustrated, Amelia decided to simply press forward. Rising to her full height, her presence attracts the corpse's attention. She feels Sophia gripped at her waist and burry her face deeper into her back as she hears the groans of the dead.
With limited movement Amelia allows the corpse to reach her before quickly jamming her knife under its jaw, watching as the body goes slack — she allows her eyes to follow it. The muffled suction of where flesh meets metal brings her some satisfaction. But it's short lived as she feels small arms still wrapped around her.
"Get the fuck off me!" Ameila exclaimed, but she simply feels Sophia shake her head against her back.
"I said—," Amelia moves to pry Sophia's arms from around her, "—Get off me!"
Amelia distances herself from Sophia — even as the girl reaches for her. The two face each other — one wishing for comfort and the other plagued by nauseating stress.
Ameila's body trembles as anger races through her. Her eyes are blown wide as she stares at the cowering girl. Every fear she's tried to suppress surges to the surface — every doubt she had almost became true right in front of her eyes.
But that fear is quick to manifest into a boiling anger, the collected facade she held onto begins to slip away.
However the scared form of the girl brings flashes of her previous mistake — her mind doesn't allow her to yell or berate the girl. Instead her anger is directed towards the corpse on the floor.
Amelia moves with a purpose. The moment she comes into contact with the body she can't help how she reacts. The adrenaline racing through her is begging for an out — and she's found one.
The first hit echoes throughout her body and the squelch of flesh giving out under her foot lights a fire in her stomach. Amelia can't help herself — she stomps and stomps and stomps, until its head is nothing but pulpy meat on heated tarmac. Until she sees specks of brain matter stain the pants of her leg. She ignores the startled yelps of the girl and only stops when she's out of breath and satisfied.
Amelia takes a minute to calm herself — collect her bearings and shake off the nasty adrenaline that makes her hairs stand.
Sucking in a breath of air, Amelia turns to Sophia and just stares at the shell shock girl.
"What the hell were you thinking?" The question comes out serious — but there's a shakiness to Amelia's voice that catches the girl's attention. Amelia can see Sophia's lip begin to tremble and eyes line with tears causing her to throw her head back with an annoyed sigh.
"I-I was scared."
"Yea, no shit." Amelia can't help but rub at her temples as she feels the throb of a headache coming along.
"I-I'm sorry." It's the watery tremble of Sophia's voice that gets her — sure the girl was stupid but Amelia couldn't really blame her — she was scared.
Amelia's actions towards the girl are always on impulse, this time they're fueled by the way the girl wraps her arms around herself in an attempt to self-soothe.
"Come here, kid."
Amelia doesn't finish speaking her sentence before Sophia launches herself onto her. Amelia simply lets the girl cry onto her stomach ignoring the tears and snot slowly sticking to her skin but this time it doesn't bother her as much.
After Sophia's cries turn to hiccups Amelia pats her back, "Alright, that enough. We gotta get going if you wanna see your people today."
—
The two pass many houses — often desolated and ransacked.
Amelia can see the girl's expression fall everytime they end up at an empty house but they continue moving. Nearing the next property, Amelia sighed, "Alright, girl. This the last house then we gotta start heading back before it gets dark. Ok?"
"Ok, Ms. Amelia."
"Alright, then. Go, how I taught y'all." Amelia nods her head, gesturing towards a wide tree nearby.
She watches the girl crouch down at the base of the tree before pulling the camo jacket she lent her over her chest. Amelia walks around the tree fixing the girl's body until she's well hidden — she doesn't need any strangers finding Sophia as she scopes out the place.
"Alright, you stay here. You see anything, you scream real loud and I'll come back." Amelia instructs Sophia as she fixes her knives and makes sure her boots are tied. Ain't dying tripping like a dumbass.
"Okay." The answer comes out shakey
Looking down Amelia can see Sophia's lip begin to tremble again and sighs. Crouching down she pats Sophia's shoulder, "Look kid. I'm sure we'll find them. No momma would take off without their kid."
Her words seem to do the trick as she watches Sophia begin to calm down. Once Amelia's sure the girl is okay she takes off.
—
The farm is beautiful.
Type of house she dreamed about living in when she was a kid. It's secluded — surrounded by three walls of forest and has a field stretching what looks like miles. She really likes the property.
But it's already claimed.
There's two cars parked near a tree and a cluster of tents. Stalking closer she sees people bustling around — content and domestic, falling into routine. It reminds her of before, when everything was okay. And she hates it. It's a lie.
These people are living a lie.
But she knows these are her people — Sophia's people.
She recalls the girl's description of everything and it matches up — the RV, the number of women and men, and their features. Amelia studies each and everyone of them — matching face to name. There's a few missing but she doesn't mind much.
Shifting her view, a rifleman catches her attention — they're up on the RV scanning the woods where she knows Sophia's hidden. Amelia's comforted by the weapon. She understands they aren't living a lie — they understand what's going on, the danger that walks the earth now.
Rushing back to where she left Sophia she's relieved to find her where she left her.
She doesn't give Sophia a chance to react to her presence and simply dives into a conversation, "okay, girl I found your people."
An excited squeal escapes Sophia that Amelia quickly hushes.
"Are they okay? Did you see my mom? Is she okay?"
Amelia bluntly ignores Sophia as she searches through her bag. Pulling out a bright shirt, she hands it to the girl quickly interrupting her rambling, "Here hold this—," before she dives back into the bag to retrieve some smoked meat, "— and put this in your pocket."
Looking down at what's been given to her, Sophia tilts her head curiously, "What do I need this for?"
"Your people got a rifle pointed over here. They see you moving out and about might shoot your ass," Amelia gestures to the shirt, "—so you're gonna put that shirt on so they can see you."
"And the meat?" Sophia asks, holding out a small pouch holding food.
"Don't know if they got food. So that's for you to eat." Amelia knows it's an excuse — it's an act that allows her to know she's sending the girl out with something.
Nodding, Sophia seems to understand as she stuffs the pouch into her shorts.
Once Amelia's done with everything and has checked Sophia over — making sure she sends the girl out unharmed and clean enough. She moves them near the edge of the woods, still making sure to keep them hidden.
Don't know if any of them trigger happy.
They're both crouched down looking at the field that marks the end of their weird and fleeting relationship.
"Alright, I want y'all to run down this field until you reach all the way over there—," she's gesturing towards the RV, "— and I want y'all to wave your arms, ok? Can't have them think you're some mutated running corpse."
"Ok."
Nodding Amelia stands back, "Okay, now off you go."
Sophia seems to stall for a moment looking between Amelia and the farm.
"I said, off you go now." Amelia gestures, waving the girl towards the RV.
Turning to look up at Amelia with watery eyes, Sophia asks,"Will you come with me?"
Damn, it's confirmed. Kid's got Stockholm syndrome. Amelia thinks, shaking her head.
"Nah, kid. I'm okay, like being on my own." Amelia reassures.
"Um…maybe you can stay with us. And you can protect me and my mom." Sophia tries to bargain.
Why in the holy hell would I want to take care of some lady and her kid.
Shaking her head, Amelia nods towards the field, "I'm alright, girl. Now you go off. I'm sure your momma's worrying about you."
She can see that the girl's growing restless at being denied. And maybe somewhere deep inside Amelia's is content that someone wants her around — but she's better off on her own where she's only got herself to worry about.
Sighing, Amelia crouches down and holds Sophia's shoulders,"How 'bout this. I ever see you on that highway again. I'll come with you."
"You promise?"
Damn, I hate promises.
"Sure, kid. You got my word. Now go. Been with you long enough."
Amelia watches as Sophia breaches the line between the woods and the field. Sophia still hesitates a while but Amelia quickly rushes her forwards.
When Sophia gets halfway through the field and her people start rushing towards her Amelia finally takes off into the woods. Rushing to get to her cabin before the sun goes down.