Sarah woke to silence, somehow Carth had managed to get out of bed and leave the room without waking her. It was a trick that Alek had mastered, but Carth was the first non Force user she'd ever had any sort of a real relationship with. He shouldn't be able to twitch without her noticing it, but he did, often. It was even more disturbing that Mission had left the apartment without her realizing it, there was nothing quiet or subtle about that one. Dustil...well, yes, she expected him to do it, unless she was deliberately trying to track him. The Force hid him, it was how he'd managed to swim through Korriban, unremarkable and overlooked. It was such a gift, he was such a gift. Almost as much a gift to her as his father was. Less of a gift, however, was the apartment his father had been given. Something about it set every nerve she had on edge and she couldn't pin down exactly why. She'd been...somewhere...like this, before. She'd been...held...somewhere like this before. Held? Not quite the right way to think of it, but she was certain it wasn't a place she'd chosen to be...
A sharp rap on the exterior door jolted her out of her reverie, thankfully, and she sighed, focusing on it. Bastila. Well, at least it was someone she was comfortable being her own unpleasant self in front of. Carth was usually that, but he was striving to be secure in his position as 'provider' and the last thing she wanted to hit him with was the statement that his issued housing reminded her of some vague place she might have never even actually been in, but knew it was bad. Somehow. Maybe.
She pulled the door open, ignoring Bastila's expression as the younger woman caught sight of her clothing...or rather, lack thereof. She wasn't roaming around outside in the open and Bastila had already seen her anyway, but Bastila could be a little bit of a prude at times. Nothing new there.
"I received a message from the Temple on Coruscant." Bastila stated without condemnation or greeting, stepping inside of the apartment and closing the door firmly behind her. "I need clarification from you as to some of the details."
Sarah grumbled, headed for the kitchen. It definitely sounded like Bastila had already had caf, she seemed wide awake and focused. It was the same sort of focus that Carth had been wound up with the night before, all ready to go, ready to run, ready to fight. She understood it perfectly, but it was misplaced at the moment. "Which details, exactly?" She asked, pulling cabinet doors open with a vengeance, searching for what she needed.
"They freed you and sent you back here. You weren't even there long enough for a trial. Not a real one."
"There was no real trial. And yes, I have been freed." The kitchen was a mystery, hiding all of its best secrets, but Sarah finally found what she was looking for, starting the caf machine with demanding speed and precision. "I was not released from the Order, not jailed or censured." Both were good things for Bastila. "I maintain a position within it, under my current name." And if Bastila's master maintained that, then Bastila's position was secure. For all that Sarah was ill at ease with what had just occurred, it was the absolute best thing that could have happened for Bastila.
"How did you work that? And how long will it last?"
Sarah had to snort in laughter, despite herself. Bastila truly, truly believed she was strong enough to sway the entire Jedi Council on Coruscant? Believed she was capable of that level of full on force manipulation of those around her? Sarah had no idea why, she'd fallen so many times in front of her, failed so terribly, all she deserved was condemnation, not another chance. But she'd been given one anyway and she intended to make the most of it.
"I did nothing." Now that she had succeeded in starting caf she headed back for the master bedroom, searching again until she'd found the duffel bag that Carth had packed her clothes in. She pulled out an outfit, feeling Bastila's presence in the doorway behind her. "Nothing at all."
"I don't understand."
"That makes two of us. I am to watch for what I only I will know. That which I have forgotten, but I would remember if I sensed it again."
"Oh." Bastila's voice was small and Sarah knew her mind had gone exactly where Carth's had. Did everyone around her think she'd completely lost her mind along with her memory? She'd gone after it...whatever it was...before, and that had been disastrous. She was in no hurry for a repeat performance.
"I'm not going after it." No, yes, maybe...or it would come after her. She just wished that she could be as confident about that as she managed to sound. All she was certain of right then was that she didn't want to go after it. And that was the best that they were going to get out of her. It was the best she was going to get out of herself.
"Good, good. You don't feel that you're being played? By the Council?"
"Played? No. Watched? Definitely." And that was fine. Let them watch her. Let them watch her live out a perfectly normal, boring life. That was enough to make her chuckle aloud, the very idea that could be an option was laughable. It wasn't. She knew better. This was a reprieve, that was all. "Bastila, I don't know how to be a housewife." That was true, but she also had no idea how to be anything else, either. She'd never been raised to be anything but a Jedi, never been raised to be anything but a warrior. Her best housewifely gift was the ability to make caf strong enough to wake the dead.
"You need this, Sarah. You need time, you need rest. You need Carth."
Yes, yes, yes. Yes to all of that. But that didn't mean that she had to accept it so easily. She couldn't even rely on buried memories to see her through this, this was completely and totally new to her. "I can't stand this place."
"This place? Brentaal? Or..." Bastila waved her hand to encompass the living room. "This lovely example of military issued housing? I can see that it is not to your usual taste."
"Definitely not. And it reminds me of some place I can't remember. But I know it was not a place I wanted to be in. It was during...then." She fixed two cups, offering the second one to Bastila and moving to stare out of the windows. This was supposed to be the easy part, the calm after the storm.
"Oh. Sarah, it looks like every other apartment you're going to find on Brentaal. Unless it feels bad? What is it that bothers you about it, exactly? Can it be fixed? Or do we need to move you?" The younger woman prowled the common areas with a deep intent, obviously feeling for something that could have raised Sarah's concerns.
"I don't know. I..." She pushed away the clanging memory and focused on the here and now. No, nothing, just an apartment, there were traces of past residents but those were truly faint and none of it felt traumatic or off-putting. "It's how it looks. It's so...dead. It makes me feel numb inside." She'd been numb, she'd been broken, she'd been... No. She snapped away from that path. "Carth is so proud of it."
Bastila sighed, shaking her head. "Of course he is. But you and I need to deal with the problem. If it's dead to you, then we'll bring it to life. Fill it with all of the things you love and not say a word to him about it."