Reading Dining with Divinity

by Scheffinator

See inside for summary.

5. Part V

I'm ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!

I'm here with the next chapter of Reading Dining with Divinity. I'm happy a lot of you want Zoe brought in when the Hunters visit the Fox's Den. Next chapter will be a break chapter, so look forward to some bonding between demigods and gods.

The moment the bell rang, Naruto's face lit up as a familiar customer appeared before him.

"Well, if it isn't my favorite customer!"

The Goddess of the Moon blinked in surprise at the blonde's voice. After a long and tiring couple of days training the newest members of her Hunt and running them through their first-ever monster hunt with little sleep, Artemis decided she needed to slip away for an hour. As always, she left her faithful lieutenant, Zoe, to keep the girls in line until she returned and have the chores completed. The three new girls, Lucy, Tracey, and Eloise showed promise, though it would be many years before they came close to acquiring the skillset her older hunters possessed. Hunters like Zoe, who had been part of the Hunt for over two thousand years (two millennia), and Phoebe, a daughter of Apollo who'd joined before even Zoe, were two of a handful of young women who grew into elite warriors after spending centuries at her side.

Artemis smiles in nostalgia at that. Apollo has a sad smile at the mention of his daughter from the olden days. "My little Moon Flower is satisfying her sweet tooth it seems." Leto says with a teasing smile. "MOTHER!" Artemis says with a flushed face.

Like her Aunt Hestia, Artemis often spent the time in a younger form. Most often it was in the form of a girl between the ages of thirteen and fifteen, as many of her young companions tended to fluctuate between those ages. It was a method for her to bond with her hunters, particularly the younger ones who might find her adult form too intimidating and imposing. To make them feel more comfortable, she took on a form that helped them feel at ease. Most of her hunters had come to her to escape from the grasp of evil men and their dark thoughts and desires, which was why her group of maidens were women and women only. Though only a handful of men had ever earned a place in her hunt, it was exceptionally unlikely in this day and age.

"Most males are driven by lust nowadays." Artemis says with a glaring frown. "I'm not." Percy says with a pout. Poseidon just sighs sadly at his other son, Orion, for betraying Artemis's trust back in the day. "That reminds me, why do you take a child form sister?" Demeter asks Hestia, getting a flushed face in response.

With some time to herself and Zoe running the Hunt in her place, Artemis teleported to New York. Changing back into her adult form, and adopting modern clothing rather than her hunting gear, she headed straight for her favorite spot in the city. She sent a message to Athena and asked if her sister wished to join her, but the Goddess of Wisdom was currently engaged in a meeting with Hephaestus. For once, she was going it alone.

"I would have gladly joined you my little Moon Flower." Leto says with a smile. "MOTHER!" Artemis says with a flushed gold face. "Hm, I wonder what that meeting is about." Athena says thoughtfully. Hephaestus looks intrigued as well.

"Good afternoon, Naruto."

"Good afternoon." He handed her a menu and led her to a table near the counter. "It's been a little while since you last visited. I was beginning to wonder if I was ever going to see you again." One of his hands dug into his pockets." Your sister not with you today?"

"I've been busy of sorts these last few weeks. Out of state." She explained. "This is my first time back in the city in over a month." Her most recent hunts had taken her across the North American continent, hunting creatures and monsters big and small with the aid of her hunters. One of the aspects of hunting monsters she always found exhilarating was never knowing how long each hunt was going to take. Some hunts could take no longer than a couple hours. Once, a hunt back in the 1400s took no longer than five minutes when they discovered the monster they were requested to track and destroy was no more than three hundred yards up the dirt path from them. However, other times she participated in hunts that took years to complete. Though time-consuming, the feeling of ending a hunt after such a long period was one of the most gratifying feelings a huntress like herself could have. "And no, my sister was unavailable. Though, I'm sure she will stop by a visit soon."

"That was the shortest hunt ever. No satisfaction whatsoever." Artemis pouts like a child at that. Leto just squeals and hugs her little Moon Flower at that. "Quick sports art boring." Apollo says with a nod. The others nod in agreement.

"I see. Not to worry. I'll have to keep an eye out for her." He laughed. "She always has the funniest reactions when she visits. Is it terrible of me to say it brightens my day when I catch her reactions from the corner of my eye?"

Artemis couldn't help but half-grin at the statement. Truthfully, Athena's reactions during their visits tickled her funny bone as well. The first time with lemon curd still replayed over and over again in her mind, and while shocked the first time, now the Olympian found the scene hilarious. Athena had sworn her to secrecy over that incident, but it didn't mean she couldn't use it to tease the elder goddess.

"Yes, it is." Athena says with a frown (pout) while sending a scathing glare to her sister Olympian, who just grins back at her. Annabeth just looks embarrassed at her mother's reactions.

"No, it's not, though I wouldn't mention it to her." She advised, half-serious and half in humor. "My sister isn't the type who handles being embarrassed very well. I would be careful, and not make your amusement too obvious."

"Understood. I'll try and be discrete." He could do that. He was a ninja after all. Discrete was his middle name.

"See that you do."

Looking around the room, she noticed she was the only customer and forced a frown to etch over her beautiful features. Where was everyone else? She thought business was booming! The last time she was here, she and Athena had been lucky to get a table. If they arrived even a minute later, they would have been forced to leave disappointed. "Where's all your customers? I thought the business was doing well?"

"Must be a slow day." Sally says with a thoughtful look on her face, having experienced such days while working at Sweet on America. Hermes just nods in agreement.

The idea that her favorite place wasn't getting the attention it deserved was ludicrous.

A chuckle escaped Naruto. "They were all here earlier." Her blank look coerced him to elaborate. "It's Sunday and I close at two on Sundays. Remember?"

The Goddess of the Moon had let that piece of information slip her mind.

"I was moments away from closing up for the day before you came in."

Artemis's eyes widened a fraction. 'How could I forget!' She looked at the clock behind the counter and read 14:05 (2:05 p.m. for those unknowledgeable about military Zulu time). In her excitement, the Olympian forgot there was a three-hour time difference between California and New York. 'How foolish of me!' She fought the urge to facepalm. Her excitement had gotten the better of her and the lack of sleep from the past couple of days was catching up with her.

"You do get tunnel vision when you get excited my little Moon Flower." Leto says with a teasing smile. "MOTHER!" Artemis says in embarrassment. "It happens more when I make any sweets Leto." Hestia says with a giggle, getting a whine from Artemis.

"I'll go. My apologies for…" She started to say, already on her feet when the blonde owner waved his hands in the air.

Another chuckle escaped him. "Don't worry about it. Sit down! Sit down!"

"Are you sure?" Artemis hated being needlessly in the way, as rare of an occurrence as it was.

"Very. Now sit and make yourself comfortable." He replied, his voice laced with confidence. If any other male had spoken to her like that then she would have turned him into a jackelope. However, since it was the blonde who she was developing more than a tolerance for, she would allow it.

'Though, he better not push his luck.'

She sat back down, her menu returning to her hands. "Very well, but only because you insisted." Inwardly, she let out a sigh of relief. She'd been looking forward to this all day. Her sweet tooth was craving for a slice of anything she could get her hands on. The stuff she ate with the Hunt was decent, but it never left her fully satisfied, especially her need for sugary baked goods. Her hunters were novices at best when it came to cooking, despite trying in the past to have Hestia give them a few pointers.

"Sadly, it's true. Sorry mother, but Aunt Hestia's food is the BEST!" Artemis says with a watering mouth at the thought of Hestia's cooking. Leto just looks down in disappointment, getting a sympathetic pat on the back from Hestia.

Smiling, he walked over to the door and switched the open sign to closed. He didn't want any more walk-ins.

"So, what can I get you?" He asked. He didn't bother with his notepad and pen. He already had an idea what the auburn-haired woman was going to order. Vice versa, Artemis looked at him with a blank look, while raising one of her eyebrows. Surely, he wasn't serious?

"I'll take my usual, please. Salted caramel hot chocolate."

"Of course. And the Cake?"

"Carrot, please. Two slices." Artemis even held up two fingers.

His smile grew wider at the cheek. "Alright. I'll be with you shortly." He turned and prepared to move away, however, the Goddess watched him halt mid-step. A thought crossed his mind that Naruto had been meaning to ask should he encounter her again. "Can I ask you something?"

Artemis raised another eyebrow. "As long as it's nothing personal." She liked the mortal, but she hoped he knew his boundaries. There was still time to turn him into a four-legged critter. For his sake, he better not ask her on a date as previous foolish men tried. It didn't end well for them.

"Well, that depends. Do you consider asking for your name personal Lil Sis?" Apollo asks with a cheeky grin. Artemis just swats at Apollo lightly while Leto giggles at her children's antics. Even Zeus has a small fond smile at his children's antics. The others, minus Sally, just roll their eyes at the twins' antics.

To her surprise, Naruto caught onto her thoughts and shook his head. "It's nothing like that. Cross my heart." He motioned a cross shape over his chest. "It's something I've been wondering and meaning to ask you since your first visit." When Artemis motioned for him to continue, he asked his question. "What's your name?"

"See? He just wanted to know your name Lil Sis." Apollo says, still with a cheeky grin. Athena looks embarrassed for not giving her name from the first chapter when she and Artemis first visited.

Artemis blinked in surprise. That wasn't the question she was expecting. "My name?"

The blonde nodded. "Yeah, your name. I've wanted to ask since you almost cleaned me out of carrot cake on your first visit. You and your sister have become regular faces around here, but I still don't know your name. I'd like to rectify that if you let me." His smile returned, and he gave a light shrug. "You don't have to, but I wouldn't mind knowing the name of my favorite customer."

"Aw. You're his favorite customer. I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO jealous!" Aphrodite says with a pout. Artemis just has a smug grin towards her rival.

The goddess hummed in thought. She sensed no ill-will in his voice, and his posture was calm and relaxed. If he was up to something, he hid it well. Though some men were known to have the uncanny ability to hide their true selves behind a mask or façade of a false persona. However, the moon goddess liked to think she was a good judge of character, and thus far the blonde owner had yet to give her a reason to think he was up to no good. He didn't strike her as the type who would possess evil thoughts of that nature. So far, he had proven himself to be a decent man, whose primary concern was keeping his business running and showing kindness and good food to his customers.

"One thing you should know about Naruto Uzumaki. He NEVER has ANY perverted thoughts, even with his own wife." Scheffinator says, reminding the group that he is there. Artemis just smiles at the thought of a DECENT male, who didn't think with their lower head.

Leaning back in her chair, she gave a small nod. "I don't see any harm in it. My name is Artemis."

Naruto's smile widened, and let out a hum. "Artemis?" He repeated the name a couple of times. He liked the way it rolled off the tongue. "That's a beautiful name. you're named after a goddess, you know."

Artemis fought the urge to smirk. Instead, she wore a little smile that few male mortals got to see. "I know. Since my family is Greek, they felt it was appropriate for me to have a Greek name. what could be better than being named after a goddess."

"Not much, I guess." He chuckled.

"Indeed. Do you know much about Greek mythology? It's not a subject people study much these days. It's a rare following."

The blonde owner nodded. His hands rested on the chair in front of him. "It just so happens I do. I learned a lot during my time in Greece, as I mentioned the day we met. It wasn't just the language and the food I studied but the whole mythos that surrounded ancient Greece. I visited a lot of the old sites like you would do in a country with such a rich history." He thought back to the days he travelled around, and thought back to one of his many visits to the old country. "I visited the Acropolis in Athens, the Ancient Delphi, Meteora, Epidaurus, and Ancient Olympia. Those are just a couple of places I had the pleasure of visiting. I can only imagine what they were like back in their day."

"I miss the old days." Most of the gods says with melancholy in their voices. Only the gods of progress harrumph at the mention of the old days. The demigods shudder at the idea of living in a time with no technology.

"Yes, I can imagine." The goddess replied, playing along.

He ran a hand through his hair. "You know, I went to what's left of the old Temple of Artemis in Turkey a long time ago." He revealed, making Artemis look at him in interest. "I'm not sure what I expected to find, but I couldn't help feeling disappointed when I saw all that was left was foundation and fragments." Looking up at the ceiling, he closed his eyes for a brief moment, remembering his time in Ephesus. "I bet it was a thing of beauty back in the day."

"It certainly was." Artemis has a fond smile at remembering her temple. "I thought I was the God of the Arts Lil Sis." Apollo says with a pout.

Oh, it was, and Artemis knew full well how majestic her old temple was. Back in ancient times, her temple was frequently visited by women and men of all ages, praying to her for several things that fell under her jurisdiction. The men would pray to her for successful and plentiful hunts while expecting mothers would pray for strength for the coming days that lay ahead of them. Her temple was one of the most iconic temples ever built on the Earth, rivalled only by the Temple of Athena at the summit of the Acropolis and the Temple of Zeus at Olympia. However, twice her temple had to be rebuilt. The first time, a devastating flood reduced it to rubble, curtesy of Poseidon after one of his infamous temper tantrums. The God of the Sea had been forced to pay a great tribute to her as compensation. The second time, a few centuries later her temple was burned to the ground by that foolish mortal, Herostratus, who sought notoriety and fame. She couldn't lie and say she didn't take a small amount of pleasure in watching the foolish man from getting his just-desserts during his execution.

"I'm still pissed at that knowledge Uncle Poseidon." Artemis says with the evil eye towards her Sea ruling uncle, who just flinches while looking ashamed of how he acted back then. Artemis had the biggest evil smile while remembering the execution of the foolish mortal who burned her temple to the ground, while her male relatives shiver in fear at said smile.

Although a modern model was built years later in Istanbul, she had only visited the site once. It didn't possess the same value as the old versions, and a rare handful of people prayed to her these days.

While lost in her thoughts, the blonde disappeared behind the counter and got her order underway. "You don't mind if I get things cleaned up after I finish your order, do you?"

She shook her head. "Not at all."

Fortunately for her, she didn't have to wait long before Artemis found herself sinking into the chair as the taste of her hot chocolate covered her lips. Releasing a small hum of delight, she moved onto her cake, and like always, felt her sweet tooth getting utterly satisfied as her immortal tastebuds were showered with sugary bliss. How the mortal man did it, she didn't know, but she wished that she did. Artemis was a decent cook, given some lessons by her mother and Hestia, but had never made anything remotely as sweet and perfect as the meal in front of her.

Artemis just has a pout while Leto and Hestia have a smug and kind smile respectively. "Hestia's cooking is tied with Mother Rhea's cooking." All of Hestia's siblings say at once, getting a flushed face from the eldest Olympian at the praise. "Now there's an idea for the break chapter." Scheffinator says with an evil grin forming on ratting out the two oath breakers of the Big Three to their mother. Zeus and Poseidon shiver in fear and wonder why.

Was there a method to the man's madness? Was there someone helping him? She'd never seen another soul working the little café in the time she spent in its warm embrace. She remembered that he mentioned making from scratch many of the delightful goods himself, but when did he find the time to make them all? His menu was vast and unpredictable. It would take him all through the night to make it all. Not to mention, there was the issue of keeping it all fresh.

"Ah, the wonder of Shadow Clones." Scheffinator says with a smile, having used the Shadow Clone Jutsu personally many times. The others just pout at how unfair that is. Especially Athena and Annabeth.

It was a mystery, and part of the Moon Goddess wanted to solve it.

'Don't rock the boat.' She thought to herself. She had a good thing going here. The Fox's Den was an escape. Somewhere she could get away for an hour or two. She and Athena had been the first to visit, and since then, more and more gods and immortals from their world were beginning to take notice. On the one hand, she wished the little café had been her secret with Athena which only they could enjoy. On the other hand, at least it was getting the business and fame it deserved. If it closed down, Artemis was sure she would weep for days.

"You so totally would my little Moon Flower." Leto teases with a smile getting a whine from her daughter. Athena has a pout at the thought of the Fox's Den closing down as well.

No more hot chocolate.

No more cake.

'What a dark world that would be.'

From her seat, Artemis couldn't help but watch him as she sipped her drink. Without Athena to talk with, she had little else to do but watch the man at work. 'He has good balance.' She mused, watching as he stacked one of his trays high with cups and plates, and balanced it on the tips of his fingers. For ten minutes, Artemis sat and watched him moving around the room as if his body was on autopilot. As soon as one task was done, he was onto the next before she could blink.

"It takes real skill to get that kind of balance." Sally says knowingly. Everyone looks at Sally questioningly, causing her to blush. "I worked as a waitress when I was in high school." Sally explains with a blush.

'His rate of work is impressive.' She mused, before inwardly frowning and rolling her eyes. 'Stop praising the man. Gods, what is wrong with me.'

A hand waved in front of her face, and Artemis found the blonde trying to catch her attention. A broom was in his hand, with a small pile of trash piled together next to him.

"Yes?" Had he asked her something? She was so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't noticed. "Did you need something?"

"Nothing important, but I did want to ask you another question. Though, only if you don't mind your attention temporarily leaving your cake."

Another question? How bold of him. "I'll allow it. However, I expect another round of both." She pointed to her empty plate, and cup as she chewed on the final piece of her meal.

"All in good time." He laughed and took her words in good humor. "I asked what do you do?"

"What do I do?" She repeated, a frown appearing at the words. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that you said you were out of the state, right?" She nodded. "Well, was that because of work? If it was, then I was asking what do you do for a job? What's your profession?"

Oh! That's what he was asking. Her mouth began to move, yet before any words could come out, her mind stepped in. What was she going to say? It wasn't like she was going to spill the beans to him and tell him all the glorious details. 'There's a goddess in front of you, who just so happens to be the actual Artemis we were talking about earlier. Crazy, right?!'

Yeah, no. it was rare for her to inform mortals, especially male mortals, of her true identity. As much as the blonde had grown on her, he still didn't need to know the nitty-gritty details. The only mortals she told were the girls who joined her hunt, demigods she happened to come across, and the few mortals that were clear-sighted and could see through the Mist that wrapped around their world. The blonde was neither a woman nor was he a demigod, and Artemis was close to positive that he couldn't see through the Mist. Therefore, her identity would remain a secret from him.

"Ugh! I HATE when mortals are able to see through MY Mist!" Hecate says with a groan of frustration, getting Sally to flinch and the gods to look away while whistling innocently. "What about demigods?" Annabeth asks innocently. "They're half god so they're an exception. Loathe as I am to admit." Hecate says with frown.

'Although maybe telling him he's serving a goddess would earn me a discount.' She mused, though shook those thoughts away. She would tuck that question away for another time.

"I'm a…" She paused for a moment, before settling on a story. "Guidance Counsellor."

"Really?"

'Roll with it.' She thought, before continuing. "That's right. I specialize in helping young women, typically teenagers and sometimes younger, that come from broken homes or have faced abuse in their past." That part wasn't made up. "I have a group of girls that I take away on retreats, working with them out in the wilderness and teaching them how to survive in nature. We go camping, hiking, and I've even shown them how to hunt and gather their food."

"Good way to hide your hunters to mortals that don't join." Leto says with a smile. Artemis just beams in pride at her mother. "Also, a good way to lie. Mix in some truth." Hermes says with a mischievous smile.

She heard him whistle, and stare at her with an impressed look. "Wow. That's amazing." He grabbed a couple of napkins from the counter and handed them to the waiting hands of the goddess. "How many do you work with?"

"About three dozen."

"On your own?"

"All on my own. My sister chips in from time to time, but most of the time it's just me." Her sister often pointed her in the direction of young women that required her aid. Some of Athena's past daughters were once members of the hunt, though none currently existed within the group. "Does that surprise you?"

She watched and gauged his reaction, and felt a stroke of relief when he shook his head. "It doesn't. to be honest, I'm not surprised at all."

She stared at him curiously. "Oh? And why is that?"

His expression turned thoughtful. "I'm not sure why and I can't explain it well, but when I saw you the first time you visited, I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that you were someone who liked taking care of people."

"Oh?"

That surprised her to hear. She leaned forward, inwardly urging him to continue. She wanted to hear more.

"There's something about you that makes me believe you're someone who has seen bad things happen to people. Maybe you've had bad experiences in the past, or maybe you haven't. that's not my place to ask." He gave her a look, indicating he wasn't going to push that subject with her. "Either way, you have this…energy about you. It's comforting and warm, and I felt it the first day you walked through that door." He nodded over to the door, and smiled. "I think you're someone who wants to shield people, in this case, young girls, and gives them something to strive for. You don't want them to lose themselves down a dark path because of the abuse they've suffered, so you take them into a safe environment and you teach them how to survive. You teach them how to be strong."

Everyone, except Scheffinator, is shocked at the blonde's explanation. "My little Moon Flower, if you do decide to pursue this blonde in a relationship, then I approve." Leto says still shocked. Artemis is too shocked to respond. "Damn. That's just like that blonde knucklehead." Scheffinator says with an impressed whistle.

He leaned on the broom, and his smile widened. "I've met a lot of people, and I've met some who have done awful things to others. Going across the world opens up a box that can't ever be closed. Sadly, I've come to realize some people can only be described as awful, misguided and cruel. They inflict pain onto other people for reasons that make no sense. Women, in particular, tend to get the short end of the stick every time and end up suffering at the hands of both men and their fellow woman. Whether it be physical abuse, mental abuse, or any kind of abuse for that matter, no one should have to go through those kinds of horrors."

"To quote Michael Caine from The Dark Knight, "Some people just want to watch the world burn."" Scheffinator says getting nods from everyone. Sally and Percy just look defeated while thinking about the abuse they suffered at the hands of Gabe.

There was a brightness to his blue eyes when he looked at her. "Knowing that young women have someone like you in their corner, someone who fights for them and shows them kindness and a helping hand, it proves my assumption about you was correct." He went back to his cleaning, though not before saying. "By the way, your meal's on the house today. Think of it as my way of saying thank you."

"He's going to regret that." Artemis says with an evil grin. Said grin causes the males to all shiver in fear.

Returning to his work, the face Artemis sent his way went unnoticed. The Goddess of the Moon could do little but stare silently at the blonde, her crumb covered mouth partially open as she gawked at him.

This mortal, this man…continued to baffle her. She was four thousand five hundred and ninety-three years old, and she could say with all certainty, she had never been praised by a male mortal in such a way before. One that wasn't a demigod, or had any connection to their Olympian family. Even Zeus, who doted on her and Athena like they were still small goddesses he could pick up and lift onto his shoulders, had never praised her for her work in such a form. It was always something regarding her skill as a warrior, and never as a nurturer. People forgot, and she included her family in that category, that she was more than just the Goddess of the Hunt and the Moon. She was also the Patron of young women and children and held divine authority over childbirth alongside her sister, Elythia, thanks in part for delivering her twin Apollo from their mother.

"Undeniable proof that I'm the older sibling my LITTLE brother." Artemis says with a smug grin towards Apollo, who just harrumphs while Leto just giggles in amusement. "You do dote on ALL of your immortal daughters baby bro." Poseidon teases to Zeus. "And you don't?" Zeus asks in reply. "Touche." Poseidon says. "Idiots." Hades just says, getting glares from his brothers in return.

She could be nurturing and loving. She didn't have children of her own out of choice early in her life, but she showed compassion and kindness to children of both genders regardless of the sins of the parents. Her Hunters could attest to that.

This man, he was confusing her.

The first time they met and he surprised her behind the counter, she thought he was like all the rest. She thought he would be cocky, arrogant or overconfident with his talents as a chef. The rest of the world would be if they possessed a tenth of his culinary talent. However, Artemis was pleased that she had listened to Athena and given him a chance to prove himself to be unlike the others. He was confident, but not overly so. He took compliments with grace and no shortage of embarrassment, and his sunny disposition and kindness had wormed its way into the good graces of many of her family members.

"I show compassion to boys under the age of thirteen. Once they reach thirteen, I lump them with other males. Thirteen is when hormones begin to kick in and boys start to think with their lower heads instead." Artemis says, giving the stink eye to anyone who would doubt her. "Most males become perverts once they reach puberty. Naruto is one of the few exceptions to that." Scheffinator says with a sagely nod.

He was a good one. Artemis had come to that realization.

"You don't have to do that." She replied.

She watched him blink. "I know I don't have to." He looked up from the floor, and smiled in her direction. "But I want to." She was prepared to argue her point but stopped when he sent her a light scolding expression. "Take the offer. I'm only offering it today. Use this chance wisely." There was a hint of a challenge in his tone.

The goddess huffed and crossed her arms. Beneath the table, her foot tapped against the floor in mild annoyance. Fine then! If he was serious about her not paying, then she was going to take advantage of his kind offer. She hoped he was ready because her sweet tooth was already returning in force. His kindness would be his downfall because she planned on upping her appetite to the next level!

"Hehehehehehehehehehehehe!" Artemis giggled maniacally, scaring many of her family. Scheffinator just shakes his head with a smile while being reminded of a certain dog who solves mysteries.

Outside

Across the street from the Fox's Den, as the blonde shinobi and the Goddess of the Hunt conversed with each other, little did they know, another Olympian was also in the neighborhood. This Olympian had been made a fool of by the blonde, and thanks to him, became the butt of the joke by his family and came looking for revenge. He didn't know who it was, but someone had leaked to his Olympian family of what had occurred that fateful day and he hadn't heard the end of it. Everyone, including his father, would snicker every time he walked into the room, and his brothers had become intolerable. Apollo and Ares were on his case every free moment he had and it was making his ichor boil!

"REVENGE!" Hermes shouts in glee. "VENDETA!" A female voice shouts from somewhere, making Scheffinator snicker while everyone looks for the voice.

Even Poseidon caught wind of it beneath the Sea, and Iris messaged him for the sole purpose of pointing and laughing at him! He couldn't stand it!

He was sure it wasn't Hestia. His lovable aunt would never betray him in such a form. Maybe it was the nymphs, but he doubted any were brave enough. Satyrs? No, not the satyrs. They would never betray him. No, he bet it was that damned Terminus! That stupid border god loved to make his life miserable.

Oh, when he was finished with the blonde, Terminus was next. That was for damn sure.

"I got you now, you conniving S.O.B." Hermes whispered, his blue eyes narrowing at his foe. Wrapped in the Mist, he remained hidden and out of sight from his foe. Next to him, the dark-haired god patted his secret weapon that would even out the scales and delivers to him his sweet retribution. Like he promised to his aunt, he wasn't going to kill the mortal. However, that didn't mean he couldn't hurt the mortal. It wouldn't be too severe, but it would be funny.

"I would do that." Poseidon says with a chuckle. Hestia just has a sweet smile while inwardly laughing at the prank she pulled on Hermes. The demigods just look confused at who Terminus is. Before any of the demigods could voice their confusion, Scheffinator just whispers something to them about waiting until after the chapter to grill their immortal parents.

What was his weapon of choice? He could have gone with a couple of choices, however, his genius mind had settled on a Hephaestus-grade mash potato cannon. It had taken some bribing since his elder brother didn't do anything for free, and a great amount of patience, but he finally convinced the God of the Forge to go through with his request. Modelled after one of the old 24-pounder long guns used by the world's navies between the 17th and 19th centuries, the only difference between his one and the old models was that his shot-out mash-potato at a frightening speed and was capable of shooting through a tree. He tested it once the other day, and it was safe to say, Ares had not been too happy at being his test dummy.

"I still owe you for that half-pint!" Ares shouted with rage. "WHOOPWHOOPWHOOPWHOOPWHOOPWHOOP!" Hermes calls out like Zoidberg while running away with Ares hot on his heels.

The God of War had been exiting his temple when he was hit by a condensed shot of mash potato and was sent sprawling through his home yelling and cursing. He hadn't realized Aphrodite had been visiting, and the lump he called his brother had landed on top of her, covering her in mash potato and ruining her dress. The Goddess of love had given him an earful later on, but it was worth it.

"WHAT!? HERMES!" Aphrodite screeches before joining in on the chase for the god of messages. The others just laugh at the comedic scene.

All he had to do now was catch Naruto at the right moment and lay him out with his glorious cannon. There was only one issue with his plan, and it was one he hadn't been counting on. Hermes had hoped the blonde would be alone to avoid additional casualties. He didn't think Artemis of all people would be there at this exact moment. However, as unwise as it was with the Goddess of the Moon present, Hermes would carry on undeterred. His schedule over the next month was hectic, and that was putting it mildly. It was now or never, even if it meant upsetting his dangerous, and temperamental older sister.

"You better not Hermes!" Artemis shouts with rage in her voice. "You can be temperamental at times my little Moon Flower." Leto says with a teasing smile, getting a cry from her daughter.

"Come on Hermes, you beautiful man. You got this!" He repeated to himself, psyching himself up.

Naruto whistled. "Boy, you sure showed me." Staring at the plates and cups that were piled high around her table, the blonde couldn't do anything but admire the auburn-haired woman's determination and seemingly bottomless pit she called a stomach. It reminded him of himself. "You know, I wonder if that's some kind of new record. Maybe I should have your face framed and put on display on the back wall for all to see."

"Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!" Artemis just giggled in maniacal glee, scaring the males again. "That's certainly a record right there my little Moon Flower." Leto says while shaking her head, getting another cry from her daughter.

Wiping her face with the napkins provided, the happy expression plastered on her face bordered on smugness. She wasn't sure how long it had been since she'd self-indulged to such a degree, but it was hard to care about such thoughts when she felt so pleasantly full. Her appetite was something of infamy on Olympus, and despite being notably smaller than her divine brothers, and some of her sisters, Artemis could outlast all of them when it came to food. Most of the time she could restrain herself, but being told everything was on the house for one day only, restraint had gone out of the window.

"You should really be called the goddess of gluttony Lil Sis." Apollo teases, only crying out when Artemis took a swing for his face. He dodged said swing but was unable to dodge the kick to the groin. The other males all wince in sympathy while holding their own groins.

How gluttony wasn't one of her domains still mystified her.

"I'd ask where it all goes, but I know questions like that could get me in trouble with women."

Artemis snorted. "Smart man. It's nice to see a man with a brain for once."

Naruto bowed in response.

"I suppose I should leave you be, and let you go home. I've been here an hour longer than I intended." She needed to get back to her hunters. Zoe, in particular, would be wondering where she had gotten too. "Thank you for your time and patience, and thank you for staying open longer for me. The gesture is…appreciated. Hopefully, I'll be able to come back sooner." She stood up from the table and dusted off the crumbs from her shirt.

"Not many males, mortal or immortal, are that smart when it comes to females." Hera says with a frown. The other females all nod in agreement, getting grumbles from the males.

"I look forward to it." Naruto replied, looking at the high pile of plates and cups. He was never more thankful for his dishwasher then he was right now. Despite being kept longer at the Fox's Den than he'd hoped, he found himself enjoying the small talk that began between himself and Artemis. They went back and forth on whatever crossed their minds, and he found himself enjoying her company. It was nice talking to someone who wasn't one of his clones.

"Clones?" Athena and Annabeth ask at the same time. This got snickers from the others, getting the duo of Wisdom to blush.

Artemis had the same thoughts, though wouldn't admit it out loud. The mortal man was…alright in her books.

An idea popped into his head, and he motioned for Artemis to wait for a moment. Watching him disappear, Artemis stood by the counter, watching the door that led to the kitchen and listening to the movements and mutterings of the blonde.

'What in the world is he doing?' She wondered. When a minute passed, she was about to head towards the door when Naruto came waltzing out, pushing the door open with his left leg and carrying two large white paper boxes in his arms. "What's this?"

"Just something from me to you." He replied. "You said you see your group regularly. Next time you see them, treat them to what's in the boxes." He smiled and lifted one of the lids, revealing the inside of the box. The inside was littered with goodies that would have made Artemis salivate with greed. Dozens of cookies were piled high on each other, with gooey chocolate on the inside. The smell made Artemis close her eyes, taking in the scent. Maybe she could make some room in her stomach after all. "The other one has lemon squares. There should be enough for everyone to have a couple each."

"How sweet. Giving the hunters cookies and lemon squares." Hestia says with a smile, while Artemis is salivating. 'Perhaps I should see if I could safely break my oath to remain a virgin and track down this man in our dimension.' Artemis thought to herself.

"This is…very kind of you. You don't have to do this."

She watched him turn to look at her, blue meeting silver. She knew his eyes were blue, but she never noticed how blue they were. They were more vibrant than Apollo's, and even her father's. "Like I said earlier. I know I don't have too, but I want too." His smile widened, and shrugged. "Maybe, if you and your group are ever in the neighborhood, you could come and visit. I'll treat them all to hot chocolates and cakes."

Closing the lid shut, Artemis placed one box on top of the other and lifted them into her arms. That wasn't a bad idea. She had a feeling her hunters would come to like this place as well if given the chance to visit. "Sure. That would be…nice."

His face brightened. "Then, until next time."

"Until next time." She replied, and started moving. "Could you get the door for me? My hands are a little full at the moment."

"Sure." He wandered over and pulled the door open, bowing low in an over-dramatic fashion. The action was enough to make her snort, though in amusement than annoyance.

"Thank you." Taking one last look at the blonde, her face frowned when she looked down at his shoes, pointing out. "Your shoelaces are untied."

"Huh?" Blinking, he looked down and saw she was right. "So they are. Thanks!"

Crouching down to tie his laces, Naruto was none the wiser when out of nowhere, a loud bang erupted in the air and he felt something whiz passed the top of his head at tremendous speeds, grazing the tips of his hair. He almost jumped up in surprise and felt something splash against his cheek as a thud followed after. He spun around, noticing none of the people out in the street appeared bothered by the loud noise, and searched the pavement for anything that could have resulted in such a loud noise.

"Us damn it! I missed!" Hermes says, before running as Artemis started to chase him while shooting arrows. "GET BACK HERE AND TAKE YOUR PUNISHMENT LIKE A MAN HERMES!" Artemis shouted after her fleeing brother. "NEVER!" Hermes shouted back while still running.

'What the hell was that?' He thought. For a moment, he thought he saw movement in the alleyway opposite the Fox's Den. He could sense something across the street, but whatever it was, it was masking its presence and trying to keep itself hidden. It felt familiar, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Touching his cheek, he wiped off the residue from whatever splashed against him. He stared at it for a couple of seconds before realization hit him. 'Is this mashed potato? Why in the world was mashed potato flying through the air?'

"Why indeed?" Leto says with a giggle. The others just look at the scene of Artemis chasing Hermes around with amusement in their eyes.

"Hey, do you kno-…" He started to say, but his words died in his mouth when he got a look at Artemis. "Oh boy."

To say Artemis had been unlucky would be an understatement. The Goddess of the Moon and the Hunt, who moments ago was happier and more content then she had been in months, was now on the other side of the room with her back resting against the wall of the Fox's Den, cracks covering the wall like a spider's web. The impact of the mashed potato from across the street had caught her unguarded, and tossed her through the air and into a sitting position, her legs out in front of her and arms wrapped around the cake boxes in a vice-like grip. Her body was covered with mashed potato from head to toe, with large clumps of it wrangled in her hair and up her nose.

"And saved." Aphrodite says with a giggle as she took a picture of the scene to save for teasing material later. Even Leto took a picture for her scrapbook.

Naruto couldn't say a word and watched as the realization of what happened slowly dawned on Artemis. Her face, once wearing an amused smile, quickly morphed into one of pure fury that Naruto wouldn't wish on his worst enemy. He let out a gulp and got to his feet. Reaching behind the counter, he pulled out a towel and wordlessly handed it to Artemis, who took the towel and wiped the vegetable residue off her face.

"Well, wasn't that sweet of him." Hestia says with a giggle. Leto nods in agreement with a giggle of her own.

Her silver eyes zeroed in on the alleyway, like a lion who found its prey and got to her feet. She turned her attention to the gobsmacked Naruto and handed back the towel, which he gingerly accepted.

"Thank you. If you would excuse me. It appears I need to make a trip home, and…" She trailed off mid-sentence, her rage consuming her body. The blonde could do little more than nod his head as the auburn-haired goddess left the Fox's Den, cold fury taking over her entire person. He idly noticed her make a motion to her neck, dragging a finger across the jugular before disappearing from view.

"The universal sign for someone is going to die. Classic." Ares says with a guffaw. Hera just shakes her head wondering where she went wrong with her son.

Turning around and now on his own, Naruto sighed when he noticed it wasn't just Artemis that was covered in mashed potato, but now potato was strewn across the inside of the Den on every side.

"I just want to go home." He muttered, before beginning his clean-up again.

"Run, Hermes! Run as you've never run before!" Hermes muttered to himself, running across Olympus and leaving a trail behind him as fear encased his entire being. "That damn blonde! Why did he have to duck at that exact moment?!"

Running across his ancestral home, the God of Messengers thought about his options. The mortal realm was out of the question. Artemis would find him in a heartbeat. His temple was out of the question, and the unsaid rule about gods not barging into other's temples would go widely unnoticed in this situation. He doubted his sister cared for that rule with all that rage coursing through her.

Hephaestus was recording the chase between Hermes and Artemis. Dionysus was chuckling with madness in his eyes. Leto isn't willing to help the speedster at the moment and neither is the rest of his divine family either.

He ran through his options.

"Apollo isn't here, nor is Ares. Dionysus is at Camp Half-Blood and Hephaestus has locked himself in his forge again." His brothers wouldn't be of any use. Apollo, in particular, had a weak spot for his twin, and would likely give him up rather than help him. "Aunt Hestia, Demeter, and Hera are visiting Grandmother, so who knows where they might be." Their grandmother came and went from Olympus when she pleased and became increasingly difficult to track. Her residence, a pottery studio she started a decade ago, had a habit of shifting and alternating its location.

"Mother Rhea sure doesn't like to stay in one place for too long." Hestia says with a giggle. Her brothers and sisters all nod in agreement.

There was Athena to turn to, but Hermes shook that out of his thoughts. Athena and Artemis were close, and his elder sister would likely conspire with Artemis to have him tortured if given the chance. She still hadn't forgiven him for painting one side of her temple pink while she was visiting the mortal world. Gulping, his choices were running low. Poseidon and Hades would turn him away, the latter in particular. Though he could travel beneath the Sea and the Underworld he wasn't supposed to abuse that privilege given to him by his uncles. Angering the Gods of the Sea and the Underworld was not on his to-do list. One man-hating Goddess was enough.

"I certainly would conspire with Artemis to torture Hermes." Athena says with a sadistic smile on her face, scaring her male relatives and her daughter. Hermes, upon hearing this, just whimpers in fear.

Biting the bullet, Hermes changed course and made a beeline for the grand temple made of white marble that stood closest to the Throne Room of the Gods. Hopefully, his old man wouldn't be bothered too much by the sudden intrusion.

"HERMES!"

His face going pale, Hermes bolted towards his father's temple, his sister's voice ringing throughout Olympus. Her godly energy fluctuated in bursts and was likely sensed by all currently residing on Olympus. It was potent enough that Hermes could practically feel her rage. "Oh, man. She is soooo pissed!" He muttered, narrowly avoiding colliding with a pair of nymphs, and shouting an apology as he ran past them.

"You are on your own Hermes." Zeus says with crossed arms, getting a betrayed look from his speedster son. Persephone just looks at Scheffinator to see if he would do anything to get Artemis to stop chasing Hermes, only to see their host bopping his head to the song Everything Is Awesome.

In mere seconds, Hermes found himself pushing open the enormous golden doors of his father's temple and ran inside, slamming it shut behind him. The inside of Zeus's temple was exactly how one would imagine it to be. It was large and spacious, and everything was made of marble. Personally, Hermes preferred hardwood flooring and found marble floor much too slippery for his liking, but he wasn't about to doubt his father's taste in decoration. A grand staircase led up to the second floor, where the Master Suite resided, along with a long hallway that contained many of his father's trophies and statues depicting his greatest triumphs. If that wasn't enough, a large statue of Zeus stood in the center of the temple, reaching the height of the roof and seen by all on every floor.

"Ego much baby brother?" Hestia asks in a teasing tone, getting shocked looks from her siblings. Hecate and Aphrodite just laugh at the joke. Even Leto is giggling. The demigods and one mortal just look dumbfounded.

Catching his breath, the sound of a tv reached his ears and Hermes noticed the faint glow coming from one of the back rooms. It looked like it was coming from his father's theatre room. His father was a massive movie buff and had a thing for romantic comedies, not that many knew of course.

'Probably looking for the next Hollywood starlet to seduce.' Hermes thought, before making a beeline for the room. His father loved celebrities almost as much as Aphrodite.

As he expected when he appeared in the doorway, he spotted his father sitting in a comfortable black leather recliner with gold stitching. Zeus's theatre room was giant, even by normal standards and designed in the same manner as a mortal theatre, with Zeus's favorite movie posters decorating the walls. Godfather, in particular, was his father's favorite movie of all time, and Hermes had caught the King of Olympus reciting quotes from the movie as if they were Shakespeare. Shelves were filled to the brim with DVDs, VHS tapes and old movie reels. Off to the side was a confectionary stand that was always stacked full of Zeus's favorite movie-going treats. He even had a slushy machine with over a dozen different flavors constantly churning away.

"We now know your secret love of Rom-Coms little brother." Poseidon says with a teasing smile. Hera just gives Zeus the stink eye at the possibility that Zeus was looking to seduce another woman. Aphrodite just smiles at the comparison of her and Zeus loving celebrities so much.

Wearing his usual suit with lightning dancing across the fabric, the imposing aura his father tried to induce was given away by the pair of fuzzy white slippers his feet were clad in. they'd been a gift from Hestia a few years ago, and the God of the Sky was rarely seen without them when roaming his temple. Hera had tried to get him to wear something different when they were spending time together smooching in one of their temples, though she had yet to succeed.

"Are they styled to look like bunny rabbits?" Leto had to tease her one-time lover, getting a flushed face from the king. Hestia just nods with a big smile on her face. "I made sure they looked like Bugs Bunny." Hestia says with a smile. This got snorts of amusement from Hades and Poseidon.

Storming into the room, he looked around and quickly searched for the best hiding spot. In this case, he chose to hide behind the enormous golden curtains that covered his father's screen when it wasn't being used. It was big enough for a human body to hide without notice.

The God of the Sky and King of the Gods blinked in surprise, a handful of buttery popcorn in his hands and flecked across his beard. Gathering his bearings, his face turned into a scowl, and a thrum of his immense power washed over the room, followed by the smell of the ozone. "Hermes! What do you think you're doing?!" He paused the movie, with the image of Bobby Boucher about to football tackle a teacher frozen on the screen.

"Honestly Zeus, you can be such a messy eater when you want to be." Hestia says with an exasperated groan. Hades and Poseidon just give mocking laughs towards their brother.

Zeus loved Adam Sandler, but that was neither here nor there.

"Sorry, Dad!" The younger god slipped behind the curtain, and Zeus felt his son's godly energy vanish. "I'll make it up to you, I swear. Just don't let Artemis find me!"

A grunt escaped Zeus's body. "What did you do, you idiot?"

Behind the curtain, Hermes was about to explain the situation to his father, hoping he could understand his plight. Though Zeus was a squishy marshmallow when it came to his immortal daughters, Artemis and Athena in particular, he could only hope his father would back him up on this one. Zeus practically invented the bro code after all. However, before Hermes could utter a word, the sounds of Zeus's temple doors creaked open, forcing Hermes to become as silent and still as a statue.

"Is that true?" Percy had to ask, getting an iffy motion from Scheffinator. The other gods give the same motion as well.

Turning to the doorway, Zeus watched as his youngest Olympian daughter walked through the door, and was quick to notice the substance covering her body. 'Potato?' He thought before his mind went to work and put the pieces of the puzzle together. He snorted and rolled his eyes, all the while shaking his head. His sons seemed to forget how formidable their Olympian sisters could be.

"This is true." Zeus says with a nod, getting grumbles from three out of his five Olympian sons. Hephaestus and Dionysus either don't care or have other things to grumble about.

Walking into the room with her hands clenched into fists, the Goddess of the Moon flittered across the room as silent as a deer, her eyes working a thousand miles an hour as she searched every nook and cranny within Zeus's theatre room. "Father." She greeted, leaning over and placing a delicate kiss on her father's cheek. Her eyes never left the movie screen, and Zeus watched as her eyes searched the curtain on the left side, before settling on the one on the right.

"I ALWAYS get my prey Hermes!" Artemis shouts while still chasing Hermes. Hermes just whimpers while mentally calling for his mommy.

Her eyes narrowed, and Zeus watched in mild amusement as his son's hiding spot was compromised.

Artemis stepped forward with an expression that promised a great deal of pain when Zeus called out to her. "Moon Flower." She turned and stared at the King of the Gods. If it was anyone else calling her that name, Artemis would have wrapped her bow around their head. It was a pet name she earned when she first visited Olympus. Only her father, and her mother, Leto, were allowed to call her that. Even Apollo would find his head buried in the earth if the name found its way escaping from his lips.

"I still have the bruises from those times I ACCIDENTLY called her that when I was talking about actual flowers that bloom in the moonlight." Apollo says with a wince. Leto just gives her little sunshine a sympathetic pat on the back while giggling.

"Yes, Papa?" Zeus had half a mind to chuckle when he heard the name. she only called him that when she wanted something, or when she needed to get away with something.

"Take it outside." Angry as she might be, he had no desire to watch his temple get turned inside out by his two children.

"Fine." Her words came out as a grumble, but the attitude disappeared the moment her eyes returned to the curtains. Before Zeus could blink, he watched as Artemis bolted forward, and dived behind the curtain. Silence reigned for no longer than a second before the wails of his son rang through his temple, forcing the King to shake his head as Artemis dragged Hermes out from behind the curtain, his head locked in her arms in an uncomfortable-looking headlock. His son tried to fight out of it, his arms swinging wildly in the air, but Artemis avoided every swing.

Most of the males all wince at the sight. The females, on the other hand, are cheering Artemis on.

The God of Messengers tried to look up at his sister. "It was an accident! I swear! It was meant to get the barista!"

His words had the opposite effect he was hoping for. Artemis didn't say anything, and instead tightened the hold she had around his head. If he wasn't a god, then Hermes's head would have popped off like a champagne cork.

"D-Dad! Get m-me out of this!" Hermes chocked out before his sister's free fist came crashing down on the top of his head. A look of sadistic delight washed over her face, pulling the flailing Hermes out of Zeus's theatre room and out of the temple.

"You brought this on yourself, Hermes." Zeus grumbled, before unfreezing the movie. He knew his daughter's temper was almost as bad as his, though hopefully, she could restrain herself from taking it too far. "Chin up."

"Not the face! Please, not th-…" A squelch followed, followed bu a cry of agony, making Zeus wince as the door to his temple slammed shut. Shaking his head, he ignored the commotion happening outside, and leaned back in his recliner, digging back into his buttery popcorn.

A bark of laughter soon escaped his mouth. "Ha! This movie kills me every time."

"Alright Artemis! That's enough! Chapter's over so you can stop chasing Hermes!" Scheffinator called out to the two immortals, getting a disappointed whine from the goddess and a sigh of relief from the god. "You can torture him next chapter during the break." Scheffinator says with a sadistic smile on his face, getting a gleeful look from Artemis and a gulp of fear from Hermes.

Whelp, there's the chapter. As mentioned before, next chapter will be a break for some bonding. Also, I'm so happy so many of you want Zoe brought in when the hunters visit the Fox's Den. Now the question is, should I bring in Rhea? Leave your answers in the reviews, or send me a pm. Also, for those who don't like that I have self-inserted myself into the story, then go read "A Peek into the Naruto-verse" by KuronoDono12 as he has done the same.

R&R

Scheffinator out!