Andrea paces across the ship as she reads the contracts that were sent over from Irv. She's worn a permanent scowl since the challenge was first thrown down by Nate, but it's overspilled into the intense aggravation that is affecting her now.
"He's changed the terms. He says Nate won't fight for two weeks," Andrea grits out, slamming the Info Glass down on the console so hard, I'm actually surprised by its robustness. It doesn't shatter, or even flicker; hundreds of words still present on the screen, taunting the Commander.
"He said three days. Irv is not one to go back on his deals," Serena points out. "Why now?"
Andrea slumps tiredly down into her chair. "I don't know," she admits. "But I bet you it has something to do with Nate."
"Is Nate not normally involved with your negotiations?" I ask. "I'm assuming this is not the first time that you've seen him since you left?"
"I've seen him, but he doesn't normally get involved," Andrea confirms. "He's always avoided me as much as possible."
"So we need to figure out what the play is. There has to be a reason why he's delaying the fight," Serena muses. "Let's get Joss on it. See what she can find out. Maybe we can get eyes on him and see what he's up to." The Lieutenant presses her Comms button for the Communications Officer and requests her presence in Command.
"I don't like this. I don't like this at all," Andrea mutters. "It's been years since I left."
"What's going on?" Jocelyn takes the empty seat next to the Commander, a breakfast plate still in her hand.
"Nate moved the fight. Or rather, Irv has. We need to know why," Andrea says, running fingers through her hair frustratedly.
"Okay, let's see what we can find out," Jocelyn replies calmly. I am always in awe of watching the woman work, her speed and dexterity when pulling up information and surveillance is rivalled only by Andrea. I wonder if Jocelyn has any of the same mods and implants that allow Andrea to work so quickly, or whether Jocelyn's is a natural ability.
The woman frowns. "Nate's booked into the Med Centre, though as far as I can tell, it's just a check up."
"So he's not having more alterations done before our fight?" Andrea checks. "That would almost have made sense."
"Sneaky, but expected," Jocelyn agrees. "I'm surprised he's not having anything done. Do you want to know what you're up against? I have his file."
Andrea nods grimly. "Yes. Forewarned is forearmed"
"Are you allowed a weapon?" I can't help but ask. Andrea going up against someone unarmed, who looks like Nate, does not seem fair.
"You're allowed body mods and implants, and a small dagger. As for a weapon that would actually do some damage? Nope." Andrea shakes her head. "And by the looks of it, Nate has had a lot of work done."
"You're right, he has." Jocelyn taps on the man's file, and there is an entire list of changes that have been made to his body. "They gave him venom ducts in his mouth, Andy. That's why his teeth are yellow. The venom stains."
"Acid or paralysis?" the Commander replies, obviously more familiar than I am with these kinds of things.
"It will inflict burns, but no nerve or muscle damage, either short term or permanent. Just incredibly painful."
"So, he wants to hurt people and drag it out for as long as possible, rather than just kill them?" Andrea deduces, scoffing. "That sounds like Nate. What else?"
"Did you notice how pointy his teeth were? His current speciality is ripping out the throat of his opponent. Don't let yourself get pinned, Andy," Jocelyn warns. "With his increased muscle mass, once you're pinned, you're dead."
"Why are his eyes so red?" Serena cuts in, scanning the list of modifications.
"They are pumping him full of shit every day to increase the flow of blood to his muscles. It makes him strong, but it's changing his cell structure. The cells become weak in the more vulnerable places, causing the blood to break through the membrane, flooding his eyes. He's also got changes to his bone marrow, and regenerative capabilities. You won't break him, Andy."
The Commander ignores her comment. "Anything else?"
Jocelyn's brow furrows. "Retractable spurs in his forearms, and again, these have venom. These are deadly, Andy. Without an antidote, death is certain."
"So, he spits venom that burns, is strong, can rip out my throat with his teeth, stab me with retractable, venomous spurs in his forearms, and if I injure him, he will heal almost immediately?" Andrea recaps. She looks serious, but there is no sign of defeat in her eyes. "Okay, got it." She shrugs, nonchalantly.
I can't tell if she is being facetious. How is she so calm in the face of that information? Nate is no longer human, but she doesn't look phased. I have to wonder if this is sheer bravado, except I know her. I know it can't be.
"You seem confident, Andrea. How can you possibly expect to win against someone who is more of a monster than a man?" I can't help asking her. This fight is a suicide mission and as much as I want my daughter safely back by my side, there must be another way.
Her eyes flick to mine, softening slightly. "I have something that Nate doesn't," she replies quietly, her eyes darting around the room, looking anywhere but at me. "Something worth fighting for."
She smiles sadly, and before I can even think to reply, she is up and out of her seat, marching down through the Cave and out the sliding door at the end.
Something worth fighting for?
If that's really true, and it means what I think it does, then why is she fighting me? Why won't she let herself have something that she obviously wants. Why won't she give us a chance?
Something worth fighting for.
It's a declaration. An insight into the Commander that I don't think she meant for me to have, but I can't forget it now. I want to chase after her. I want to demand answers. I want her to tell me how she feels.
I choke down my impulses and turn back to the crew.
"What can I do to help?" I ask Serena and Jocelyn, ignoring their knowing looks.
"Make sure she sleeps. I know she will spend this time training, but her body needs rest, too. Don't let her overdo it," Serena replies, picking up the Info Glass, and turning to walk away.
"Surely that's Destra's job? Andrea is more likely to listen to the Medical Officer, than me, surely?" I query, as Jocelyn prepares to leave Command.
"I don't think that's true. You've influenced her a lot since you came on board. Just do your best, okay?"
I nod, but honestly, Andrea intimidates me far more than I want to admit, even though I have seen her softer side. In a battle of wills, I'm not sure I will win. "Before you go, can I possibly see Caroline?"
Jocelyn smiles. "Of course. Hang on."
It takes her a while to track my daughter down and when she does, it takes me a moment to recognise her. Her hair has been cut short into choppy layers, and even on the surveillance screen I can see how pallid she is, with black rings around her eyes and pale lips. She no longer looks like the happy and healthy girl that was living on Earth One only weeks ago. Her piercing blue eyes are dull. Haunted. She looks defeated and sad, completely alone. I want to reach out to her. I want to wrap my arms around her and tell her that everything will be ok.
I know I don't believe that. Not any more.
She's in a room with several other children of human descent, some are older and some are heartbreakingly younger. I wonder how much it reveals about me that I am so happy to see her with the younger ones, not because I want her to have company, but because if it comes to it, she has a greater chance of winning. Andrea has told me just how many children are lost during the training process. She's admitted just how many end up fighting with uncontrolled aggression, until one of them ends up dead, long before they ever reach The Circle.
I swallow thickly, when I see them paired up, and escorted from the room. I don't want to imagine what happens next, and I certainly can't bring myself to watch it. "Turn it off," I whisper, and Jocelyn responds immediately, to my immense relief.
I am a coward.
xXx
The next few days pass in a blur. Whenever possible, I ask Jocelyn to show me Caroline. This morning I am excited to see her. Destra has been keeping a close eye on her charts and has been relaying her recovery to me. My excitement fades the moment I see her. They have a collar around her throat, which Serena reluctantly explains is for control. Caroline's aggression implants have been activated, and with the exception of her trainer, no one can get close to her.
Her trainer. From the looks of it, it's more like a handler; someone who takes her from place to place, walking her on a leash like an animal. It's been explained that she has been given some kind of mental imagery that protects the person holding the leash; the only person who is safe from my ten-year-old daughter. I'm not sure I really understand it all.
These kinds of implants and behavioural changes are usually reserved for the older children and fighters. Andrea explains how unusual it is for this procedure to be carried out on someone so young.
As I stare at the screens now, lost in thought, I wonder just who will be coming back to us. Andrea is confident that they will be able to help her, but not on this ship. It will involve a further trip across the universe to a small, remote planet called Meliora. There is a super advanced lifeform that have the technology to safely remove and reverse most of the mods and implants Caroline has undergone.
Andrea joins me at the console, cheeks still flushed from her latest workout. I've never seen someone so committed to a training program.
Something worth fighting for. Her words have been haunting me for days.
"What's going on? How is she?" Andrea asks.
"Recovered from her surgery. Serena thinks that they have been giving her some kind of replenishing formula for advanced healing."
"That's pretty standard if they're on the clock," Andrea muses. "Irv obviously wants her to have as much training as he can before my fight with Nate, in case he gets to keep her."
"You really think we'll get her back?" It's not the first time I've asked this. It's not even the fourth. Andrea smiles patiently, though, reassuring me as if I have never asked this question before.
"I do, Miranda. Nate might be powerful, and yeah, he's modded up to the hilt, but he's also cocky, and slow. He's always concentrated far too much on strength rather than trying to increase his speed."
"And when she's back with me?" Again, another repetitive question that I don't deserve the answer to. I can't stop myself asking, though.
"We do what we have to. We'll take her to Meliora, and they will help us. All we have to do is get her there safely."
"Safely," I repeat dully.
"Yeah." She reaches out to grasp my hand, waiting for me to meet her eyes. "I have a plan, Miranda. I know what we're up against and I know how to deal with it. You just need to trust me."
I close my eyes, leaning into the hand that now comes up to cup my cheek. "I know. I do. It's just… it's..."
"It's hard?" Andrea fills in the rest, and I nod.
"Yes. What if you don't win, Andrea? What if I lose all of you?"
"That won't happen. If I lose, then the crew have strict instructions to rescue Caroline, deal or no deal. If it comes to a fight, then so be it. At least we have better shields and weapons now than we had before. The upgrades you bankrolled will be invaluable if it comes to a confrontation. There is a small chance Irv might back off, if he actually knows what he is up against."
"And you? What if I lose you? I care about you, Andrea."
"I… I ca-" Andrea shakes her head rapidly, and I find myself desperately wanting to know what she had been about to say. Was she about to admit she cares about me, too? She abruptly changes the subject. "Would it help if you saw what I can do? Do you want to see me fight?"
"Yes," I instantly agree. I'll admit, I've been curious about her training sessions with Nigel, the onboard Weapon's Expert and Gunner. I just can't imagine her fighting him, though. The man is soft in all the sweetest of ways. The sharpest thing about him is his tongue, sarcastic and dry, when the mood strikes. He keeps us all amused with his slightly acerbic ways.
"Come with me," she replies, not releasing my hand as she stands up. Her skin is warm, and soft in places, but there are subtle calluses growing on her knuckles and the edge of her hand running down from her little finger. I know she's been training a lot over the last few days, I just didn't expect for the physical changes to her body to be so obvious. Everything about her, her stance, her posture, even the fierce determination in her eyes, gives off a chilling vibe. I've always known that she is dangerous, but this is more than that. She is priming her body into a weapon, and I shiver at the thought of her fighting to the death. She won't give up, I know. She can't.
She takes me to a room I have never been to before, though I'm not sure how I've never noticed it. The door is right next to the workout room and the only difference to the other doors on the ship is that there is no label on it, announcing its function. She swipes her Comms over the panel, and the door opens with the now familiar hiss that I have become accustomed to.
Inside, Nigel is waiting, and he smiles wickedly when he sees me. "Come to play, Miranda?"
"Watch," I correct him with a wry smile, though of course, he knows I am not about to fight him.
"Sit, and stay out the way," he urges, pointing to a small bench along the end of the room. "Ready, Andy? Warming up with me, first?"
"Yeah, and then we'll get Irv Junior out, and I'll show her what I can really do." She smirks at me, as I raise my brow in question.
"Irv Junior?"
"Training droid," she informs me, as if this should mean anything to me. "Inside joke, I guess, since I like to beat the shit out of it."
Nigel rolls his eyes. "A droid that has been trained to fight. It's fitted with various defence mechanisms, just like some of the real species that we meet in some of the danger zones. We've landed on more than one Level Five planet, where we've had to fight our way off."
"What do you mean by defence mechanisms?" I'm anxious to see her fight, but I feel like I am missing something. Something important.
"Nate has retractable spurs on his forearms, just like the lifeforms on Hikka. The droid can adapt to be like them when I am training, so I learn how to avoid them. If it makes contact, it won't kill me, but it will still hurt like a bitch. It's a good way to learn, you know? Pain is a good teacher," Andy explains, and her eyes are daring me to argue with her. We both know I don't want her to get hurt, but if this is how she learns, how she has always learned, then who am I to interfere?
"By all means, show me," I invite, walking over to the bench that Nigel had gestured to. She smiles, her relief evident at my acceptance.
Nigel walks to a hook in the corner, pulling down an all-in-one suit, which he slips his feet into and then pulls up over his body. It's similar to a standard jumpsuit, closely fitted to his body, but there are subtle signs of padding around his arms, legs and chest. He pulls up the zip at the front, grinning at me when my doubt at its effectiveness apparently shows.
"It's stronger and more protective than it looks," he informs me, reaching for a padded helmet and pulling it on.
I doubt that. The extra padding looks like it wouldn't protect him against a stiff breeze. I keep that thought to myself, though.
It's fascinating to watch the change that comes over Nigel. His warm brown eyes become a whole shade darker, as he begins to circle Andrea. She doesn't move, happy to wait for him to strike, exuding confidence that I can't help feel must be well earned, despite never seeing her fight before. She stands tall, but her stance is strong, and when he strikes, I barely see her move, she is so fast. It takes her less than a single second for Nigel to be on the floor, staring up at her, winded.
Nigel gets back up to his feet, and goes straight on the offensive. Again, he is thrown to the ground and Andrea laughs, head thrown back. She's enjoying herself, that much is clear.
"Okay, let's actually spar." She offers him a hand up, which he takes, as he faces off against her again. This time, she doesn't drop him to the ground, content to just block every attack that he attempts, both of them moving so fast that I can barely keep track of their individual movements.
In the blink of an eye, the atmosphere changes and it soon becomes clear that their roles have been reversed. Andrea, with pin-point accuracy, sends blow after blow raining down on him, and although I can see him block every single one, he is tiring. His movements become slower and his blocking less effective as she gives him no chance to recover his breath. He is panting heavily and Andrea seems fortified by his weakened state, pressing forwards with each attack. She persists relentlessly, until eventually he is at the edge of the room, fighting with his back pressed up against the wall.
"Stop," he calls, raising his hands. To her credit, Andrea stops immediately, though there is a passing micro expression of disappointment on her face. It becomes apparent, then. She might have hated The Circle, but the woman obviously enjoys fighting. She wouldn't be so good at it, if she didn't. This is more than about survival, it's part of her. Part of who she is.
Andrea walks towards me, barely out of breath, and picks up the two water bottles on the bench next to me. She passes one to Nigel and takes a long slug from her own. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, and grins impishly at me. "So, ready for the real fun?"
The droid. I know she wants me to say yes, but I can't. Watching her fight has been an eye-opening experience. Too eye-opening, as it dawns on me exactly what Caroline will be up against in the ring. If Andrea fails, my daughter will be learning to fight and if she doesn't learn to win, then I lose her, too. I know Andrea has said that the crew will intervene and rescue her if needed, yet I can't shake the thought that they might not. Why would they help me, if I am responsible for the death of their Commander? I'll be lucky if I am not ejected from the ship and left on Bellator with my daughters.
"I've seen enough," I reply flatly, not meeting her eyes. "Enjoy your training, Commander."
She winces at my renewed use of her title. I stand up from the bench, my legs unsteady, and prepare to exit the room. Before I can leave, I am stopped when her fingers grasp my wrist, albeit gently. "She's going to be fine, Miranda. This was meant to reassure you, not scare you."
Of course she sees right through me. She sees me more than most people I've met in my life. She looks at me with such concern in her eyes, that I can't help myself, stumbling forwards into her arms. I should be repulsed, her skin is not just damp, but actually wet from sweat where it touches mine. I don't care, pressing myself closer as her hands come up into my hair. She moves my head back slightly, looking into my eyes. I can see the question there, and I answer it the only way I know how, connecting our lips. Mine part and allow her entry, desperate and hungry for her. I just want to feel something. I just want to forget.
She allows me my moment of distraction, and then pulls back, a wry chuckle escaping from her lips. "I do mean it. Everything will be okay."
"And I do believe it, Andrea. Even when I don't."
I'm not even sure I understand my own cryptic comment. Andrea just takes it in her stride, though, smiling gently. "I'm gonna carry on training. Maybe you should go and work out, too. Get rid of some of that tension," she suggests, winking at me mischievously.
I almost invite her into my sleep pod; we both know another good cure for tension. I hold back, with a shake of my head. "I don't think that's a good idea at the moment."
Even as I say those words I'm not sure if I mean the workout, or taking her to bed. From her expression, I can see that she is equally confused. She presses her lips chastely against mine and releases me. I walk away with the feeling of her eyes on me, all the way to the door, and I'm surprised to see that we are completely alone. When Nigel left, I don't know. He's nowhere in sight and I can only guess that he stepped out to give us some privacy.
I don't want to be alone, and working out is not a good idea when I am feeling so desperate. The last thing I need is to injure myself the way that Andrea did, when she took out her frustrations on the punching bag. I need Cassidy.
I walk down to the Veggie in the cargo hold, and knock quietly on the glass door. Emily smiles when she sees me, though it soon drops to a frown.
"Are you okay, Miranda?"
I shake my head. "No, not really."
Cassidy spots me and throws herself into my arms, and I hug her tightly. Will I ever hug Caroline in the same way again?
"What's happened?" Emily asks.
I discreetly shake my head at her, and she seems to understand that I don't want to discuss it in front of Cassidy. She nods back, a minute movement that I almost miss. I smile in relief.
She puts a pair of pruning shears into my hand. "Help us. There's lots to be done today."
"Yeah, Mom. It's so much fun!" Cassidy gushes, taking my spare hand and walking me down through the Veggie, past rows and rows of vegetables and herbs that I don't recognise. The UV lighting down here makes her smile so much brighter, when she turns to me to show me what she has been working on.
I'm not much of a gardener and I never have been. There is a quiet kind of peace that can be found here, though, so I look to Emily for instruction. "What do I do?"
xXx
I cannot resist the lure of Command for long, seeking out Jocelyn as she monitors what is happening down on the surface of Bellator. "Would you mind?" I ask, by way of a greeting.
She smiles sympathetically. "Of course not."
Jocelyn takes only a few seconds to break into their surveillance channels, and searches the Training Centre for my daughter, frowning when she sees Caroline's chart, though my daughter has still not appeared on the screen. "What the hell?"
"What? What is it?" I know my voice sounds panicked. I can hear it.
She ignores me in favour of scanning appointment bookings and Caroline's chart. She presses the button on her Comms unit. "Andy, get back in here. I know what Nate's doing. I know why they've delayed the fight."
"Jocelyn?" I plead. "What's going on?"
The door at the end of the Cave hisses open, and Andrea strides in, familiar scowl firmly in place. "What have you found, Joss?" She carries a small towel, wiping the sweat that is dripping from her brow and running down her chest.
Wordlessly, Jocelyn moves out of the way so that Andrea can sit down. The Commander stares at the screen, her mouth dropping open. "That son of a fucking bitch."
"I don't understand, Andrea. What is going on?"
She sighs, turning to face me. "Caroline's booked in for more treatments. He's setting us up."
"How?" I demand, even as my heart is thudding uncertainly in my chest.
"See here? And here?" She points to a number of mods listed under the behavioural section. "They've given her aggression, which we expected, but they booked her in for additional mods and implants that will block any empathy and recognition that she might have." She gestures to another part of the screen. "And see here? She's being fitted with knowledge implants for fighting, which again we knew, but a number of others that will turn her into a deadly weapon, focused on only one thing. Destroying every person in her path. Normally this mod is contained, to be activated when she is in The Circle. Hers are being fitted with no 'off' switch. She will easily know a hundred different ways to kill a person, no matter where she is or what she is doing."
"But she's going to be okay?"
Andrea grimaces, pausing for a long moment before she eventually, somewhat reluctantly, speaks. "If I win, and she comes back here with me, then we have big problems, Miranda. They're turning her into a fucking ticking bomb. If she comes back here, she will try and kill us all. Either way, it means Irv wins."
Caroline. My beautiful, carefree daughter, with the biggest heart I know, is being turned into a weapon to be used against us? "Surely her love for Cassidy and I will be enough to break through to her?" I don't realise I've spoken out loud until Andrea shakes her head.
"No, Miranda. She might not even recognise you. I'm sorry."
I can't stay and listen to another word. I don't reply, I can't. I am walking back through the Cave before I realise it, ignoring Andrea's call in the background as she shouts after me.