Hey everyone! Updates will now be Wednesdays, as life on a Tuesday is a little manic for me to get a chapter up. Sorry for the delay!

Damn… also, I just realised when about to post this, that I updated on Ao3 last week and forgot to post the chapter here. So, if you are reading this, make sure you have read chapter 9 first, as I have uploaded them both together!

-xXx-

Caroline is pale. Her skin glistens in a light sheen of sweat, even though I know the Medical Bay is the perfect temperature. She bears the marks of previous encounters dotted across her body; an assortment of bruises, some vivid and some fading, can be seen amongst a variety of cuts and scratches.

Serena tells me my guilt is unfounded. We got to her as fast as we could and it was far better to retrieve her like this, by negotiating Andrea's return to The Circle and the ultimate defeat of Nate. Forcing our way into Irv's domain and fighting our way out could have ended in all of our deaths. Even without Andrea's fancy risk prediction A.I that she uses in Command, I know that the outcome was not a hopeful one. Escaping Bellator is one thing, and may have been possible, except there is so much more to it than that. Irv runs The Void. Almost everything and everyone in it, is under his thumb. Getting back out into a sector that is protected by Interstellar Enforcement would have been virtually impossible.

Now I have to live with the outcome of the decisions that were made, though. The reality is that my daughter was on Bellator for weeks, undergoing medical procedures and then learning to fight with her new skills, implants and modifications. There were no training droids for her to practise on, only the other children that had been brought to The Void in much the same manner that she was.

For what feels like the thousandth time, I glance at the IV attached to my daughter's arm, noting how much of the clear liquid is remaining. When the IV is empty, she will begin to wake up and then we will have a whole other set of problems to deal with.

Destra used a precision electromagnetic pulse to modify Caroline's aggression implant. I don't understand the science of it all, and I'm even more confused why this approach can't be used to just knock out the implants altogether. Destra tried to explain about built-in fail-safes that Irv had ordered, and when I still didn't understand, she explained she's trying her best not to kill my daughter. I stopped questioning her after that.

So, Destra has done what she can, which isn't much, but at least Caroline is not at risk of complications. It won't stop the aggression altogether, but it will give it an 'off' switch. It means that the aggression will die down once the implant has been 'sated', whatever that means. Caroline needs a much more invasive procedure to remove the implants and mods altogether, and the crew are remaining tight-lipped about how she will deal with her aggression until we reach the medical facilities on Meliora.

The familiar hiss of the door behind me alerts me to Destra's entrance, and I turn around. In the bed on the other side of the Med Bay, Andrea is still in recovery. She lies there unconscious until Destra deems her fit to be woken, which will hopefully be today.

"How you doing, Miranda?" Destra asks me, and it's easy to see the genuine concern in her eyes. This crew of people who unnerved me so much in the beginning, really have become the extended family I never knew I wanted or needed. I hate myself for wondering how I will feel when we walk off of The Starchaser II for the last time. Cassidy will be heartbroken, I'm sure, and she's not the only one.

I try to smile. It's weak and I know it doesn't ease her concern. "I just want her to be alright. I want this nightmare to be over, but there is still so far to go."

She perches on the edge of Andrea's bed, nodding. "I think we were all so caught up with Andrea's fight against Nate, that it was easy to forget that was only the beginning. The hardest part for you and your girls is yet to come."

I stroke Caroline's arm, fingers tracing the edges of a deep purple bruise that runs from her wrist to her elbow. "She's already been through so much."

"She has," Destra agrees, and I'm grateful for her usual honesty. She never tries to downplay a situation or give false hope. "But she's alive. We know she had to fight on Bellator. They tend to throw them in at the deep end when they're in training, you know? The fact that she is still alive and you have a chance to get her back, is worth everything."

"Nothing will ever be the same again though, will it?" I ask, and I know my eyes are begging her to lie to me. I just need the smallest slither of hope to cling onto in these dark days coming up. That's not who Destra is, though. She is blunt with her words, brutally honest even if she means no malice.

"No, it won't. You have a long and painful road ahead of you, you know this. There are always silver linings though, Miranda. You are being given a chance that not many parents ever get. There are so many kids in The Void who are never reunited with their families."

I nod. It's not as though I wasn't expecting her words. I know how difficult the next few weeks will be. Still, expecting them and hearing them are two different things, and I swallow back the sudden rise in hysteria I can feel boiling within me. I have to remember that she is right. Caroline has a chance, now, and that is a silver lining indeed.

"Are you waking the Commander?" I peer behind her at Andrea's slack face. She looks so peaceful, even with the cut above her eye and bruising visible where her skin is on show.

"The antidote did what it needed to. The toxin's effects have worn off and she's spent enough time recuperating, now. I think her body will have recovered enough to get her back on her feet. It's important for her to get up and move around. Keeping people in sedation for long periods of time is not good for them."

She's talking about Andrea, I know, but I don't miss the subtle reminder in her words. Four days ago when Andrea and Lily returned to the ship with Caroline, I had endlessly questioned why they couldn't just keep my daughter sedated until we reached help on Meliora. The answer had been the same. It's not good for a human body to be kept in that state for longer than absolutely necessary, especially in space. On the surface of Earth One, it's different, and people are placed into medical comas for weeks at a time if necessary. However, the slightly different, artificially induced gravity of the spaceship combined with various environmental factors, have a wasting effect on the body in ways that not even top scientists fully understand. It's the reason why we all have such strict exercise routines.

"May I stay?" I ask. "While you wake her?"

"Of course. Andy's been through this a few times and she's not likely to have an adverse reaction to waking up. She's usually pretty in control."

"Okay." I turn back to Caroline, listening to Destra pull open various drawers and cabinets. It's been explained to me what will happen next. It's much the same as Destra did for me, when I was under sedation. They add a reversal agent to the IV bag and let it filter into the body slowly. Once the bag is empty, the patient will wake up naturally over the course of about half an hour.

Caroline moves slightly, her brow furrowing into a frown. She doesn't wake, and when I squeeze her hand gently, she soon settles. For how long, I don't know. By my estimation, there is still nearly ten minutes until the bag will be empty, but unlike Andrea's, this sedation is much heavier and it will take Caroline far longer to regain full control of her body and senses again.

"Hey, I'm all done," Destra informs me, heading to the door. "My Comms will alert me when Caroline's bag runs out, and I'll be back to remove it and inject the pacifier."

"A pacifier?"

"It's a mental numbing agent, similar to a tranquilliser. We don't like using it, hence the sedation, but we need something to keep her level until Andrea is awake enough to deal with her, in case Caroline comes around from sedation more quickly than we think. There is no way to tell what effect the mods will have on her speed of recovery and higher levels of adrenaline can burn through the effects of sedation."

I level her with a steady gaze. "And how exactly will Andrea be dealing with her, as you put it?"

Destra shrugs dismissively, swiping her Comms unit over the door. "You leave that to her. She's got a plan, I know."

She slips out the door before I can demand answers, leaving me with the question of what happens next? None of them will tell me what we are going to do to keep the aggression at bay. I trust Andrea and I trust the crew to do what is best for my daughter, but I am uneasy with their refusal to discuss it with me.

I have been sitting here since they arrived back, unwilling to leave Caroline alone. Cassidy visits from time to time and I can see just how much it hurts her to see her sister like this. I'm happy she is spending so much time with Emily in the Veggie, envious as I am of her having such a distraction from the reality we find ourselves in.

I'm so lost in my thoughts that I am startled when the alarm goes off for Caroline's IV and I frantically look for the off switch in amongst the vast array of controls near the head of the bed. Destra comes back in, laughing at my harried state. She swipes her Comms unit across the sensor panel, unhooks the IV and pushes it to one side.

"What now?" I wonder, looking for changes on my daughter's face. Caroline just lays there calm and still, only her chest rising and falling with each breath.

"You're not going to like this next part," Destra warns me, reaching across Caroline's bed and pulling out thick, heavy-duty fabric straps. "We need to restrain her, Miranda, and before you try to object, just listen. You know that I would not do this to someone, child or otherwise, unless it was absolutely necessary."

I do know that. Destra, for all her slightly blunt and sometimes abrasive ways, is one of the kindest people I've met. However, that doesn't stop the slight nausea that threatens to rise when I see her tie my daughter to the bed. Caroline has restraints around her ankles and wrists, a wide strap over her chest, another across her thighs and a smaller one across her forehead.

"This is absolutely necessary," I repeat, as much to myself as to Destra.

"It is," she replies firmly.

She walks to a cupboard and retrieves a tiny vial of liquid and a syringe. The deftness of her movements tells me just how many times she has done this before as she fills the syringe. Flicking it to make sure any bubbles have risen, she then pushes the plunger until a drop leaks from the end. I have never been fond of needles or blood, but I can't look away as she injects Caroline directly in the arm.

Destra hands me a piece of cotton wool to keep pressed on the site of the injection, and I'm grateful to have something to do. I lean my elbows on the bed, too tired to keep myself sitting upright, blinking heavy eyelids that are threatening to close without permission.

-xXx-

A hand on my shoulder wakes me, and it's only upon waking I realise that I had fallen asleep. My eyes were heavy, but I have no recollection of giving into the urge to nap. I lift my face from my arms and turn around, surprised to see Andrea standing there, looking far better than I had imagined.

"You're awake." I can't help the smile that curls up my lips. Andrea is awake. She's safe, she's healing and she's here. I stand up far too quickly in my sleep-dazed state and wobble slightly before throwing my arms around her. She laughs joyfully, one arm slipping around my back and holding me tightly. I groan with appreciation when I see her other hand clasped around a coffee in what quickly became 'my' mug. "Is that for me?"

"Yeah. You looked like you could use it. Serena tells me you've not really left the Med Bay since we got back?"

I take the coffee from her, inhaling the rich scent deeply. She's right. This is exactly what I needed. "Thank you," I murmur gratefully. "How are you feeling now, Andrea?"

She smiles pridefully. "I'm fine. It will take more than that to keep me down."

I roll my eyes. "You've been unconscious for four days. Some might say that counts as being down."

"Medically induced unconsciousness," she corrects me with a small grin. "So it doesn't count."

"If you say so."

She smirks, and then pulls over a chair to sit next to me. "Caroline doing okay?"

"Physically, Destra thinks she's been quite lucky. There is evidence of her fighting, but no sign of serious injuries. Mentally? Who knows," I answer honestly. "I'm not sure how long I was asleep, but Destra advised that she will wake up soon."

"Good. That's good," Andrea replies thoughtfully. "We need her to be physically fit for this next part."

"Why? Don't get me wrong, I understand that it's a good thing for her to be healthy, but why is her fitness such a necessary component?"

She shakes her head, and I end up wanting to shake her. Just like the rest of the crew, she is hiding something from me. It hurts more coming from Andrea, because I thought we were past all of this secrecy.

She rubs the back of her neck in a gesture that I have learned means that she is uncomfortable. "Look. She will have a number of procedures coming up to reverse everything that they have done to her. The fitter and healthier she is going in, the better her recovery will be."

It's the truth, I know it is. I also know that she's not telling me everything. I'm about to push for more, when a low growl reaches our ears. Turning to face Caroline, we are greeted by wide, unblinking eyes.

"Caroline? You're okay, darling. You're in the hospital," I try to reassure her, without confusing her with a lengthy explanation about where we are. She has been in medical facilities before, so hopefully this room will make sense to her.

She doesn't speak. Another low growl rumbles in her throat, and her eyes blaze furiously as she springs to life, jerking against the restraints. When she realises she is tied down, she screams ferally.

"Let me go!"

"Darling, it's okay. Calm down."

"What the fuck is going on?" she demands, and I am stunned into silence, unable to answer. Since when does Caroline curse? She hears my gasp, fixing her eyes on mine, holding me in her glare. There is not an ounce of recognition on her face, her lips curling into a snarl.

"LET ME GO!"

"Andrea? Can't we please release her? The straps are upsetting her."

She scoffs. "Are you fucking kidding me right now? You think it's wise to let her go? She'll tear you to shreds, Miranda. Don't be ridiculous."

"She's upset!" I snap. "Wouldn't you be if you were tied down?"

Andrea ignores me for a moment, pressing her Comms. "Des, we need you. Caroline is awake."

She turns back to me, and I can see she is trying to be calm. "Look. This is Caroline with the mental numbing agent that is designed to keep her calm. You have no idea of the aggression you are dealing with. She doesn't even recognise you, Miranda. To her, you are one thing and one thing only; the enemy."

As if to prove a point, Caroline starts thrashing in the bed. She's such a tiny, waif like child and yet the power she exudes is quite frankly terrifying. The whole bed jerks with her body, and I'm almost shocked to see that the bolts holding it to the floor are still doing their job.

Destra enters the room, takes one look at what's going on and then turns to me. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"What? Absolutely not! That's unacceptable."

Andrea takes my hand, squeezing tightly. "I know you don't want to leave her. I really do. You have to let us deal with this, though."

"I'm not leaving," I reply stubbornly, placing my coffee on the cabinet and reaching for my daughter's hand. She wraps her fingers around mine and for a moment I think she is accepting the comfort that I'm offering. I could not have been more wrong. The sudden pain that tears through my hand as my fingers snap back on themselves is blinding, yet it hurts far less than the enjoyment I can see on Caroline's face. I snatch my hand away, cradling it against my chest. She grins evilly, laughter bubbling out of her when she sees my shock.

My daughter wants to hurt me. She is looking at me, revelling in the pain she has caused. I hardly recognise the smug, feral expression she is wearing.

"Now will you leave?" Andrea asks, though it's not said unkindly.

Destra hands me an ice pack, and gestures towards the door. "Go to the Cave. I'll come and find you in a moment to check on your hand."

I hesitate for a moment, Destra pointing to the door firmly. With a heavy sigh I leave my daughter in their hands, heading out the room and trying to block out the screams that I am leaving behind me. I can still hear them as I enter the Cave, blinking back the tears that threaten to fall before I see my other daughter.

Cassidy is sitting at the table opposite Emily, both of them with an Info Glass in their hands as they play some game I'm not quite sure of the details on. Emily looks up to greet me with a smile, frowning when she sees my hand.

"Are you hurt? What happened?"

Cassidy spins around in her seat. "Mom?"

"It's okay, darling. Just an accident. Destra wants me to keep an ice pack on it and when she comes in, she will check it for injury. She's just with your sister at the moment."

I see the moment the pieces click into place for Emily, and she smiles sympathetically. She understands what has happened, without the need for explanation. "I have medical training. I can take a look for you, if you like?"

"Thank you. I would appreciate it," I reply, sitting down next to her at the table, and removing the ice pack. She takes my hand gently in her own, feeling carefully along each of my bones, and testing the movement in my fingers.

"Nothing is broken, Miranda. I have pain medication if you'd like it?"

I nod quickly. "That would help a great deal."

She gets up and heads out of the Cave, leaving me alone with Cassidy who is looking at me sceptically. "I'm ten, Mom."

"I know, Darling," I assure her.

Her eyes narrow. "You don't have to lie to protect me. That wasn't an accident, was it?"

She's right. I do want to protect her. I want to protect them both and I have failed on all counts so far. The last thing I want to do is continue the lie, when we need to trust each other in these difficult times. I sigh, meeting her gaze.

"No. It wasn't an accident. Your sister is awake, and she didn't take kindly to my offer of comfort."

It's heartbreaking. Cassidy is equal parts relieved that I have been honest and devastated that Caroline could do something like this. I know how she feels, for I am devastated too. The young girl in the Medical Bay is not the daughter I have raised and loved for the last ten years. My love for her is unconditional and I will do everything it takes to get her back to normal, but it's still a shock to have seen this side of her.

Cassidy purses her lips. "She hurt you on purpose?"

"No, not really," I reply honestly. "She didn't know who I was and she had just woken up. She was confused and disorientated, Cassidy. She can't be blamed for her actions. Can you imagine how you would feel?"

She shakes her head. "I don't want to think about it."

Emily returns with two pills and a glass of water, which I take gratefully. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now, how about Cassidy and I show you how to play this game?"

It's an obvious attempt at distraction and I don't hesitate to jump at the offer. Cassidy beckons for me to join her, so I slip around the table and settle next to her. The game is surprisingly complicated and I'm proud of her grasp of it. She explains the rules and what she considers to be the best strategies with intelligence and ease, although she has forgotten that Emily is opposite us, quietly absorbing all of Cassidy's next moves. Emily smirks at me when she catches my eye, and I find myself grinning back at her.

We must have been playing for an hour when Andrea and Destra join us in the Cave. Andrea is breathing heavily, her face flushed and sweating. She bends down to kiss the top of my head as she walks past, in an affectionate gesture that takes me by surprise. I look up at her with a ready smile, which immediately drops when I see her face.

"Andrea! What on earth happened to you?"

She has a quickly darkening black eye, and a fresh blue bruise painting her collar bone. She smiles sheepishly. "Caroline is sleeping naturally now."

Caroline is sleeping? Is that an avoidance of the question? Or is that an explanation for the bruises? I can't decide, and Andrea is avoiding my eyes.

"Follow me," I growl, getting up from my place at the table. "You are going to talk to me, Commander."

She huffs, but resignedly follows me from the room without protest, when I lead us both to her quarters.