Andrea doesn't question me leading her to her own quarters. A small smile on her lips, she simply swipes her Comms unit over the panel, and then gestures for me to enter. I have every intention of sitting her down and demanding the truth from her, but I find myself pausing. I come to a stop so quickly that she stumbles, my arm flying out to catch her. I turn to face her, staring up into wide eyes.
One look at flushed cheeks and blown pupils, and I'm helpless. She grunts, breath leaving her lungs in a rush when I shove her back against the door. My lips are on hers before she can protest, and I'm kissing her like my life depends on it.
I need answers. I need to talk to her about Caroline. I need a lot of things, but at this moment I am consumed by my need for her. Everything else fades into the background, reduced to a gentle jarring in the back of my mind as I seek to lose myself in her. She kisses back just as hungrily, flipping us round until she has me pinned against the cool carbon. Panting slightly, she pulls back, her knuckles caressing my cheek.
"Not that I'm complaining, Miranda, but are you okay?"
Dear, sweet, gallant Andrea. Of course she is concerned.
"I'm done skirting around this," I tell her truthfully, though it's not the entire truth. I need a distraction as much as I need her, right now. "I want you, Andrea, and I know you want me too."
She takes my hand, leading me towards her bed, when she pushes me gently down onto the covers. She doesn't pounce on me like I expect her to, choosing instead to get us both a glass of water, which she places on the bedside table. She sits next to me, taking my hand.
"You know I can't give you what you need," she reminds me.
I shake my head, denying her words. "You might not be able to give me what I want, Andrea, but you can certainly give me what I need. I might want more from you than you are willing to give, but I know you can provide me what I need most right now."
"And what is it you need?" she asks gently.
"You. Just you," I confess breathily. "I just want you, Andrea, even if this is all we can ever have."
She nods, smirking slightly. "I guess I better make sure it's an experience to remember then?"
I want to tell her that she is already unforgettable. That no amount of time will be long enough for me to forget what it is like to feel her lips against mine. I know what this is, though, so I settle for something that won't stop this before it even gets started.
"What are you waiting for, Commander?"
She grins and stands up, pulling me to my feet. Kicking off her shoes, she waits for me to do the same, and then pulls me against her body. I tilt my face up towards her, and she cradles my cheeks in her palms, kissing me slowly. It's soft, sensual, and makes me feel more than I knew a kiss could. She holds me to her like I am something precious, taking control with a quiet confidence that literally makes my knees feel weak. It's something I have always thought to be a myth, the thought of another person causing such weakness so utterly absurd… until I met Andrea.
My heart is thudding against my skin, its beat steady but so loud in my ears that it drowns out the quiet hum of electronics all around me. I press myself closer to her, my arms tightening around her waist, kissing her with every ounce of passion in my body. She breaks the kiss, giggling softly.
I don't feel a moment of hesitation when she reaches for my t-shirt. Her eyes meet mine, and I nod, lifting my arms so that she can pull it over my head. Her lips drop to my shoulder, and she traces a path across my chest, her tongue following my collarbone. I shiver, my hands fisting into her t-shirt.
She unerringly finds my pulse point, sucking lightly, but in a way that I know will leave a mark. I don't care. I want her to mark me. I want to be hers. Scorching hot, she burns every place that she touches, an indelible claim I fear will ruin me for anyone else. Her hands drop to my jeans, and again, she checks in, silently asking for permission. I smirk, swatting her hands away so I can undo the button, pull down the zipper, and drop the heavy denim to the floor where it pools at my feet. I kick them to one side, for the first time in my life not caring that they will be creased.
Standing here in my lingerie, in front of Andrea who is still fully clothed, I expect to feel self-conscious. I don't. Her heated gaze runs down over my body so appreciatively that I have no time to talk myself out of this. I don't understand why, or how, but there is no doubt in my mind that she wants me in just the same way that I want her.
"Now you," I demand imperiously, but the request loses all authority with my breathless delivery. She does as she is told, though I suspect this is the last time she will cede control to me. She strips off her t-shirt, snakes a hand behind her to undo her bra, and lets it drop to the floor. With all the confidence of a young woman in her prime, she undoes her denim pants, and slides them down impossibly toned legs, leaving her in the skimpiest pair of black panties I have ever seen. She seems unaware of her own state of undress, her eyes not leaving mine for a second.
"Fuck, Miranda. You're gorgeous," she tells me, sincerity shining from deep brown orbs. "Get on the bed," she pleads.
I equal the score, removing my bra, and then scooting backwards onto the bed, laying down awkwardly with my head on her pillow. In a flash, she is on me, lowering her warm body down on mine. My legs part, and she nestles herself between them, supporting herself on her arms.
"You're sure?" she checks, searching my eyes carefully. I smile up at her, wrapping my arms around her hips to pull her closer.
"Yes, I'm sure," I reply impatiently, pulling her down into a kiss. She sighs against my lips, searching with her tongue as I open myself up to her. Kissing Andrea is like nothing I have ever experienced. Even like this, she kisses with her whole body, moving against me like she can't stay still. When she changes her position and presses her thigh against me, she has me arching, grinding against her with a moan.
"Andrea, please. I need you to fuck me," I beg, barely recognising myself as these words slip from my lips. These are not words I have ever spoken before, and I feel a rush of something primal deep within me when I tell her what I want. It's probably the first time I have ever spoken of my desires out loud to another person, and I feel empowered. Bold.
"Gladly," she murmurs, dropping her lips to the skin on my chest. She trails hot, wet kisses down between my breasts, moving to my right nipple and drawing it into her mouth. She sucks, hard, and then grazes her teeth against the puckered nub, drawing sounds from me I have never heard myself make. My hand comes up, cradling the back of her head as I lose myself in the sensations she is giving me. I lose myself in her.
"Andrea," I moan breathlessly.
She understands. Moving to the other side, she gives that one the same treatment until I am a writhing, shaking, mess on the sheets. I spread my legs wider, trying to guide her, and she laughs quietly.
"All in good time," she teases.
I throw an arm over my eyes. Apparently, sex with Andrea has made me dramatic. "You're going to be the death of me."
She laughs again, shifting down the bed slightly. I feel her lips and tongue meandering a path down to where I really need her, but she won't be rushed. She takes her time, exploring each crease, crevice and line that makes me who I am without any complaint. I feel free with Andrea, like she sees me for who I am. She doesn't ignore the imperfections that she stumbles across. The ones that make my age so obvious. Instead, she caresses each one in a way that reassures me; I am more than the evidence of my life that can be seen on my body.
Deft fingers reach for my briefs sliding them down my legs, and she stands next to the bed to remove her own, too. Before my skin has the chance to cool, she's back where she belongs, pinning me to the bed. She kisses me, hard, and then moves back down the bed.
I'm drenched. I have never been this wet for anyone and for a moment, I wonder if that will be off-putting for her. I shouldn't have worried. When her tongue finally swipes between my legs, my copious desire gathering on her tongue, she groans appreciatively.
"Fuck, Miranda. You're so wet."
"I never have been before," I confess without meaning to.
Her eyes flick up to mine and I know I've surprised her. She doesn't make a big deal of it though, getting back to the task at hand with gusto. Her tongue dips down towards my entrance, slipping inside in such a way that has my back arching off of the bed again. "Fuck!"
The expletive leaves my mouth unchecked, a ready blush rising to my cheeks. I don't speak this way, ever.
"Fuck," Andrea repeats after me. "Fuck, you're so hot."
She moves up slightly, her lips encircling my clit, flicking with her tongue in a way that burns in the best possible way. A fiery warmth in my stomach begins to build, my legs shaking uncontrollably as I writhe against her. When she slips two fingers into my slick heat, fucking me deeply, I cry out as she rubs up against something inside that gives me pleasure like I have never known it. Lips close tightly around my clit and she sucks, hard; her tongue still working the swollen nub as she guides me through a release I never knew was possible.
Hands in her hair, my hips rock against her, seeking out every last drop of pleasure her talented tongue can give me.
Exhausted, I release her hair, my body becoming boneless on a mattress I know is not as soft as it currently feels. I shiver, goosebumps fluttering across my skin, even though I am warm.
She crawls up beside me, pulling me into her arms. I shudder against her, her skin fitting seamlessly to mine in a way that leaves me uncertain where I end and she begins.
She strokes my back soothingly. "You okay? Was that okay?"
"That was… that was… I don't know what that was," I say helplessly, laughing slightly. "I have never felt anything like that in my life, Andrea."
She grins. Andrea is smug, but I find I don't mind it. She deserves her moment, considering how she has just played my body so well. I wonder if I should feel jealous of her previous lovers, the ones who taught her how to read a woman's body so well. I don't care. On this ship, in this bed, it's just me and her. No one else matters. Not those who came before me, and maybe not even those who will assuredly come after.
I banish that thought from my mind, flipping us with more confidence than I have ever felt in the bedroom. I grin down at her surprised but amused face.
"My turn."
It's early evening when I wake up, blissfully ensconced in Andrea's arms. My bladder is uncomfortably full, I'm too hot, and I'm hungry for the first time in days. I don't move, though, determined to eke out this moment of bliss for a little while longer, even as thoughts of my daughters start creeping in to disturb my quiet sanctity. I really do need to go and make sure that they're okay.
"You awake?" Andrea asks sleepily, pulling me more tightly against her.
"I need to get up," I tell her with a sigh. "I don't want to, but…"
"We should make sure Caroline and Cassidy are okay," she finishes my thought, pressing a chaste kiss to my lips and releasing me.
"Yes," I agree, stretching out tired, sore muscles. I cannot stop my lips from curling up into a self-satisfied smile. I'm sticky, sweaty and I smell like sex. I inhale the combined scent of both of us appreciatively, wondering if I will ever smell this particular combination again. I knew what this was going in, but now I am ruined for anyone else. Andrea has left her imprint on my body and she is the only one I will ever want, I know.
The thought of saying goodbye to Andrea was already a difficult one, before surrendering myself to her in this way. It's not a thought that I am prepared to face in my post-coital euphoria, so I ignore it, leaning back in for another kiss. This one is not chaste, and if it wasn't for the insistent complaints of my bladder, I would have my face buried back between her legs in a second.
As it is, I sigh. "I really should get up."
Andrea smiles reassuringly. "It's okay, Miranda. You're a mother first, above everything. I know the kids come first."
"And while we're talking about that, Andrea, you have some explaining to do," I remind her.
She sits up, leaning back against the headboard. "It's not a big secret, I guess. Although Destra was able to modify Caroline's implants, the aggression is still a real issue." She picks up my hand, running her thumb over the dark bruising Caroline inflicted. "She needs a way to satiate the aggression implant. She needs to fight, and win, in order for her aggression levels to drop. Do you remember what I told you about my time in The Circle? How I trained people?"
"You had a defence mod?" I check. "So they could practise on you, and you could defend yourself against a lethal blow, but not attack them back?"
She smiles gratefully, obviously glad I remember and she doesn't need to explain to me again. "Yeah, that's about right. Well, I learned a lot during that time, so while I don't need Destra to reactivate my defence mod, I know how to satiate Caroline's implants. She can fight me and get it out of her system, you know? Once the implants are sated, she will hopefully be calm for a few hours."
"Then what happened earlier?" I wonder. "You told me she was sleeping 'naturally'. Why was she sleeping and not just awake but calm?"
Andrea winces, sending a cautious smile in my direction. "I misjudged."
"You… What?!"
"I didn't mean to, Miranda, but she is much smaller and more fragile than I am used to, even with her new mods. I caught her wrong, and she went down. She's not hurt, I promise."
"You knocked out my daughter?"
She shrugs sheepishly. "It was an accident," she mumbles, looking down at the sheet covering our bodies.
I know she didn't mean to. It's written all over her face just how badly she feels about it, and I don't want to make her feel worse. I've seen for myself how Caroline is, now. What she is capable of when the aggression gets the better of her. I take Andrea's hand, waiting for her to meet my eyes again. "You're doing your best, Darling. That's all I can ever ask of you."
She lets out a huge sigh. "Thank you. I know better, now. Next time, I will be more careful to avoid that area. It's the implants, you know? They make that part of the head vulnerable."
"I remember what you told me about the tactics you used to use. How you used to knock each other unconscious to avoid a fight to the death," I reply, squeezing her hand. "You don't have to explain."
Her face relaxes, once again at peace. Her eyes slowly close and her breathing levels out. I know she is on the border of sleep and it's so tempting to join her. There is too much to do though, so I jog her shoulder. She smiles at me sleepily.
"I know, I know." She throws back the covers and my mouth goes dry. Suddenly, leaving the Commander's quarters is the last thing that I want to do.
She winks knowingly. "You were the one demanding we get up."
"I know," I mutter, putting my feet unsteadily on the ground and standing up. I start to walk across the floor to her small bathroom, her voice calling me back.
"This doesn't have to be the last time, you know. We can do this again, if you like?" she offers, and there is something so hopeful in her expression. Like this would be hard for her to walk away from, too.
I nod, smiling. "I'd like that," I admit, slipping into the toilet and closing the door.
We shower and change our clothes before going in search of my daughters. I stop off at the Brig which is where Caroline is being held now that she is not under medical supervision. She sits on the padded bench that runs down one length of the small room. Her eyes meet mine and there is still no recognition. She's curious, and wary, but stares at me like I am a piece of a complicated puzzle. I want to talk to her, but what would I say? She doesn't know who I am.
Instead, I blow a kiss through the glass, nearly choking with surprise when she reaches up to catch it, just like she has done a thousand times before. She stares at her hand like it has betrayed her, like she has no idea why she just did that. I try to smile reassuringly, swallowing the lump in my throat.
Hope flares in my chest. She might not know who I am, but she's still in there. Caroline is still in there, hidden away under whatever it is that they have done to her. Underneath the implants and modifications, my little girl still catches the kisses that I blow her way, even if she doesn't know why she does these things.
"I love you," I mouth through the glass, and I get an instinctual smile my way. It lasts only a second, flickering out and settling into an unease that I can't bear to see there.
"How is she?" a voice at my shoulder asks, Andrea's hand at the small of my back, rubbing soothing circles.
"She's still in there," I echo my thoughts out loud. "She's going to be fine," I say determinedly.
"She is," Andrea agrees. "Let's go and eat, okay? She's not going to be this placid for long, but after our next… um… session… Caroline should be okay for visits as long as they are supervised."
"She doesn't know who I am, though?"
Andrea guides me away from the door and down the corridor towards the Cave. "We're still a couple of weeks away from Meliora. I think it will be good for her to see you. Even if she doesn't recognise you yet, as soon as they remove the implants, she will. And Miranda, she will remember that you were here with her the entire way. She will know you never gave up."
"You're right, of course," I reply tensely. How had I not thought about that? Even if she doesn't know me now, she will remember whether or not I was visiting her. She needs to feel my love and my support, even if it doesn't mean much to her now. "I'll spend as much time with her as possible."
"Cassidy should, too," Andrea muses. "We'll make sure there are at least two of us in there with her. We'll keep her safe," she vows earnestly.
I lean to kiss the corner of her mouth. "I know you will."
Her eyes light up with such warmth that I am sure I can feel the heat of them blazing across my skin. She ushers me into the Cave, where the entire crew is waiting, with varying expressions on their faces. I almost don't want to look at Destra, considering what I know of her and Andrea's prior relationship, though maybe 'arrangement' is a better description. She surprises me by offering a genuine smile, winking in my direction. I feel my cheeks heat up and then she grins, lips stretched wide over bright, white teeth. She walks past, clapping me on the shoulder in a congratulatory manner, as she leaves the room.
The rest of the crew all wear a knowing look, smirking when they notice our still wet hair.
"Mom, what is that?!"
Cassidy stops short of hugging me, looking at me with a raised eyebrow and the kind of smirk I have seen far too often on Andrea's face. She points to the side of my neck, and I slap my hand over the mark I remember Andrea leaving there.
"Cassidy, I… er…"
"Mom got a hickey!" Cassidy squeals, offering her tiny palm to a very bemused Andrea, who returns the expected high five. She turns back to me, hands on her hips as she regards me sternly, though her lips are twitching. "Do we need to have the talk, Mom?"
The whole room erupts in laughter, and it's a nice break from the tension that we have been living with lately. "I think it's a little late for me now, don't you?" I ask, smiling at my daughter.
She grins. "You're grounded, young lady." She turns to Andrea, pointing a finger at her accusingly. "You too, Commander!"
Andrea rolls her eyes, laughing as she walks further into the Cave, slinging an arm around Cassidy's shoulder. "Whatever you say, Cadet. Now, want to help me make dinner?"
Cassidy nods excitedly. "Yes, please!"
I leave them to their own devices, settling into the seating around the table, content to watch Cassidy and Andrea in the kitchen from afar. For a moment my mind wanders and I wonder what it would be like if Andrea came home with us to Earth One. Could we be a family? Cassidy adores her and I am sure Caroline will too. I know it's hopeless. We have our life there, and Andrea's life is here amongst the stars, but I find myself wishing for it anyway.
-xXx-
Hey everyone. If you enjoy Bellamione, I am posting a new Bellamione pirate fic on my other account, called The Black Serpent. My other account is The Elemental Mage