Sloth Chapter 4: The lesson home
"S-Sissy?"
"R-Rem?"
"Natsuki Subaru?"
"Me?"
An older looking Rem and Subaru looked at Subaru and Ram, all four of them just stunned at the situation they were in. Subaru looked at his older looking self, a bit surprised since this version of himself is extremely different.
He didn't look crazy or insane like the Sin Archbishop of Pride and he didn't look like a paranoid mess like the Purge King. This Natsuki Subaru in front of him looks to be at peace, someone who has had a chance to finally rest and have a good lifestyle, one that doesn't involve dying repeatedly over and over again.
The Natsuki Subaru of this world looked at his younger self, having a few questions in mind since he is not only looking at himself but a version of him that is in an attire he has never worn before.
While the two Natsuki Subarus were just inspecting each other, Rem and Ram were both at shock since Rem never thought that she would get to see her sister again, much less looking the exact same way as she had remembered all those years ago, while Ram never believed that she would see Rem awake and being the older of the two of them rather than always being the younger twin.
The two sisters were just left stunned, unsure on what to say. With tears slowly beginning to form, Rem wanted to cry but all four of them were snapped out of this trance-like state the moment Rigel ran in between both his parents.
"Mom, old man, help."
"Hm?" Rem and the elder Subaru turned towards their child, having noticed what their son had said. The two then turn towards the direction Rigel came from to see that Zarestia was approaching the two.
"I wasn't doing anything!" She said with a pouting face, not wanting to get in trouble with Rem. The elder Subaru crossed his arms for a brief moment before asking his son:
"What is she doing to you, my son?"
"She's mad that I told Spica about how she wanted to kill you two."
"Hey!" Zarestia looked at Rigel with a slightly pouting facial expression, disliking when that story is mentioned, especially in front of Rem. Rem and the elder Subaru just looked at each other, finding this situation comical.
"Rigel, why would you tell that story to Spica?" The elder Subaru questioned as he knows that isn't the right thing to let a young girl know about their 'aunt'.
Rigel just gave his old man the death stare, knowing that his father would be the one to ask this. Rem would be inclined to agree with her husband on asking their boy that question but she was a bit more curious on what Zarestia was up to, which was why when her gaze turned to the white haired woman, it was with a very cold gaze that demanded answers.
"Zarestia, what were you planning to do to my little Rigel?"
The stern tone of voice caused Zarestia to freeze up, even Subaru was caught off guard by this and froze up as well. Ram saw this side of her sister and just nodded with approval.
"N-N-Nothing!"
Rem continued to stare at Zarestia, knowing that her close friend was planning something since she does hate being reminded that she almost killed her.
This continued for a moment, instilling fear into the woman in the white kimono for another minute until Rem changed her facial expression from one of a threat to a much sweeter one.
"Okay. Let's go eat."
"O-Okay..." Zarestia responded nervously. Rigel smiled at this since he was both happy and expected that his mother would help him.
In order to celebrate this, he stuck his tongue out at Zarestia, causing her to just pout at the boy before crossing her arms in annoyance.
Rem and the two Subarus chuckled at this scenario in unison. As this was happening, Spica appeared to look at everyone, curious to know why her parents were chuckling.
This curiosity only lasted for a few seconds until she noticed Subaru and Ram once again.
"Mom, who are they?"
Rem turned towards Ram and Subaru, having been brought back to the reality that her sister is back in her life with...what appears to be another Natsuki Subaru.
She closed her eyes before telling both of her children:
"Spica, Rigel, I want you two to meet your Aunt Ram, my twin sister."
"Another aunt? Yay!" Spica shouted as she was happy to have another aunt.
"Aunt..." Rigel spoke with some hesitance, having now realized that he just had a physical fight with his aunt...and lost.
'I'll beat you in our next match, "Auntie".'
Rem gave her two children a small push to go and approach Ram, wanting to see her sister's reaction. Spica and Rigel both approached Ram, noticing the serious look on her face.
"Hello Auntie!" Spica said in a happy tone. Rigel just stood silent. Ram closed her eyes as she wasn't sure what to make of this situation.
She stayed silent for a moment before opening her eyes with her nephew and niece noticing the shift in the pink haired oni's eyes being from serious to a softer look.
"You two are just adorable."
"...I guess." Rigel said in an uncertain tone of voice.
"Thanks Auntie!" Spica said with her eyes glowing. Ram had a small smile on her face as she heard how happy Spica was. This smile faded away the second Rigel asked,
"So...if you are my mom's onee-san, then who is the guy with ya? He looks like my dad so I assume they are related...are ya two like a couple or something?"
"..."
There was a pause in the atmosphere, as if a raging inferno of anger was building up in the pink haired oni. Both Subarus knew that Ram didn't think of them that way and that it was a mistake for the person to assume that.
"N-No, it's not like that at all. Me and Ram are—"
Ram looked at Subaru with fire in her eyes, basically giving the boy a warning that if he chooses the wrong word, she will beat the shit out of him.
He paused himself for a second before looking at Rigel, finishing his sentence with:
"—acquaintances."
Ram continued to give him a death stare for a few seconds before just closing her eyes and looking away from the boy, showing that this was an acceptable answer.
Rigel looked with a skeptical look, having doubts about this yet he didn't care enough to learn any further.
He turned around and grab Spica's hand to drag her towards the kitchen area while saying,
"Well then, let's get some food."
"Yes! Food!"
Spica shouted since she always loves the food their parents make them. As the two were heading towards the kitchen, Rem turned towards her husband to know what he was thinking.
The elder Subaru noticed this and just started to act in his usual calm manner,
"Well, I can't have my double, looking like a homeless person when we go eat. Allow me to find him some clothes."
"Understood love."
She smiled at the elder Subaru before turning towards her sister, approaching her with a hesitant manner.
"W-Would you like to join us, sissy?"
"Yes sissy, I would like to join you."
Ram responded in a blank expression, doing her best to suppress the urges to cry and hug her sister since she doesn't want to show any weakness to either Natsuki Subaru.
As the oni twins left the living room with Zarestia following Rem, the two subarus just looked at each other, unsure on how to start a conversation.
This stood like this for a minute before the elder Subaru turned around while signaling to his counterpart to follow him.
"Come on, we need to give you some appropriate clothing."
"Okay."
Natsuki Subaru followed his counterpart all the way towards his room. As they enter, the elder Subaru turned towards his younger counterpart while saying to him:
"You can take a shower here. We are lucky this place has a shower and hot water to boot."
"Okay. Thanks."
Subaru speaks in a blank expression, not sure with himself on how he should act since this is the first Subaru he has encountered that isn't trying to kill him.
Just as he was going to go into the shower, the elder Subaru dug through his old clothing to find something for his counterpart, noticing that he had grown quite a bit.
During his search, he ends up finding his old track suit.
'Hm...it's been so long since...'
The elder Subaru closed his eyes with some pain, knowing that this reminds him of his failure. He was about to put them away until he remembered that he should probably give these to his counterpart, considering that these would surely fit himself as this was also around the age he stopped wearing them.
He reluctantly took them out of the drawer he found them in and quickly made sure they were somewhat clean before setting them at the door. As he does this, he prepares to leave his room but not without knocking at the bathroom door.
"Hey, I left some clothes outside for you."
"Thanks."
"..."
"..."
"I'll just wait out here."
The two Subarus stood silent by this, unsure on what to say to the other. The Elder Subaru waits outside as he is left with many questions while his counterpart begins to take a bath.
While this was going on, Rem and Ram walked side by side, both of them silent as they weren't sure how to speak with each other.
Rem had an enormous amount of guilt in her heart since she ran away with Subaru, leaving her sister to be on her own.
Ram was silent since she regained her memories, remembering every second she saw her sister from her world in deep sleep.
This also left her with guilt since she failed the Rem of her world. As the two remained silent all the way until reaching the kitchen.
Rem closed her eyes as she buried the guilt she had deep down in order for her to speak with her sister.
"Sissy, could you help me out?"
"Of course."
Ram nodded as she said with a warm smile on her face, having missed these moments where she and her sister served the food.
"What can I do?!" Zarestia said as she wanted to be useful to Rem. Ram's smile turned into a blank expression, disliking Zarestia. Rem turned towards her friend and just smiled while saying to her:
"It's okay. You can sit down if you want."
"Okay."
Zarestia says before going to sit down next to Rigel, giving a murderous aura as she was still annoyed at the boy for what he did. Rigel could sense this and was tempted to move seats but due to his sister seating next to him and the seat on her left side being their father's, he reluctantly stayed.
"What's wrong, Rigel?" Zarestia said with a smile and her eyes closed, making Rigel more aware that she is even more mad at him than he originally thought.
'This...is going to be rough...'
As Rigel thinks this, Rem and Ram both start to move around some of the food that is already cooked and ready to be served. Ram observed some of these foods, noting that a few were new to her.
"My sister has become an amazing cook." The pink haired oni spoke with praise. Rem noticed this and couldn't help but feel happy. She looked at her sister to respond:
"Thank you sissy but most of these were done by my amazing husband, Subaru-kun's doing."
*Crack*
Rem was surprised by the sudden sound of breaking glass with Zarestia, Rigel, and Spica also being caught off guard by the noise.
"Is everything okay?" Rigel asked as he suspected something was wrong.
"It's okay Rigel." She says to her son quickly before turning her attention towards Ram. "Are you okay, Sissy?"
"Y-Yes...I'm okay..." Ram said this with every restraint she could muster. Hearing those words about how this world's Subaru is married to her sister disgusted her to her very core.
Despite how she does value Natsuki Subaru, she definitely doesn't like this outcome at all. Even thinking about having Natsuki Subaru as her brother in law burns her to her very core.
The children she was fine with, she had nothing against them even if she felt Rigel was taking too much after his failure of a father, but the fact that there were Subaru's spawn disgusted her.
"L-L-Let's talk about something else, Rem. What have you been doing here?"
"I'm a teacher."
"That's great to hear." Ram said with approval in her voice, happy to see that her younger twin sister was doing something good with her life.
"So um...sissy...h-how did you get here? Who was that with you? Why did he look exactly like Subaru-kun from years ago?"
Ram's expression turned back into a blank one, figuring that this question would be unavoidable since there are two Barasus at this point.
She took a deep breath before answering her sister's question in a calm manner:
"This is something that might take a while to explain but to make it easy, I'm Ram from another world."
"Sister...from another world?" Rem asked in confusion, causing her to tilt her head. Ram felt stupid for saying this since it makes her sound like a crazy woman but it was the truth.
"I know it sounds...convoluted but it is the truth. I'm not the Ram of this world."
Rem just looked with confusion but eventually she understood to a degree, making her aware that the Subaru that was with Ram is Natsuki Subaru but isn't her Natsuki Subaru.
She nodded at her sister before looking forward, happy that she got to see a version of her sister.
It is a little sad since she wishes to see the sister of her world once again, wondering what could've happened to her but she isn't complaining.
Fate gave her what she wanted, to speak with Ram once again.
"I wonder, what is the Rem of your world doing?"
"..." Ram paused herself since she knew exactly what her sister of her world was doing, stuck in a deep sleep.
This hurts since she doesn't want the Rem of this world to know but at the same time, this is something she might need to let some of the guilt that has been stuck inside of her go.
Before she could even respond to Rem's question, she felt something pull on her arm. She turned down to see her little niece looking at her.
"Food?"
Ram just looked at her niece with a blank expression for a moment, seeing the parts that resemble her sister and the parts that resemble Barusu.
Regardless, a warm smile found its way into Ram's face before she turned towards her sister.
"We could continue this conversation after we eat."
"Okay. Then let us eat."
"Yes."
Ram nodded at her sister before helping her set all the food onto the table. While the two twin sisters were doing this, Rem looked at the direction of the living room, wondering what is taking her husband and the young version of her husband so long.
Subaru finished taking a shower, feeling relieved since it had been a while since he had taken a nice warm anything. As he was relaxing for a bit, he started to think about what his next move should be.
'This world looks at peace...what am I here to fix?'
"Isn't that a good question."
Subaru opened his eyes with a bit of annoyance on his face, hating how the watcher can just randomly appear in his head whenever he feels like it.
'Okay, asshole. What's the point of being here?'
"Already angry when nothing bad has happened yet. Man, you have quite the temper."
'That doesn't answer my question at all!' Subaru shouted in his mind.
"*Sigh* There is a reason you were sent here but unlike the other two worlds, this one is in need of a different kind of help."
'What do you mean?'
"You'll see."
As the watcher says this, Subaru was about to respond with anger in his mind only for someone to knock on the bathroom door.
"Are you okay in there?"
Subaru snapped out of his thought process, noticing the blank tone from his counterpart as he checked up on him. He turned towards the door to respond quickly with:
"Yeah, I'm alright."
"Okay."
Subaru waited until he heard the elder Subaru leave the room before he went out of the bathroom. As he left the bathroom, he looked to see his old tracksuit there though unlike the one he left in his world, this one was for sure worn out.
'Eh. Can't be worse than what I was wearing.'
As Subaru thought this, he put on the track suit, feeling a little nostalgic before opening the door to leave the room, ready for what's next. As he leaves, the elder Subaru gives him a look. Despite being the same person however, this expression is one that Subaru himself isn't sure of.
"Talk about a blast from the past."
"Hm?"
"Oh, right. Sorry, I suppose you are confused by all of this like I am." Elder Subaru said as he wanted to speak in a wiser tone.
"Not really, you are the third Natsuki Subaru I've encountered."
"...wait, what?" The Elder Natsuki Subaru looked at him, completely caught off guard by what he just heard. "What do you mean third?"
"Well, you know the multiverse?"
"Yeah. I haven't forgotten the crazy stuff that happens in some odd time travel manga...wait, are you saying that—"
"There are a couple versions of us that have made different choices."
"Hm." Elder Subaru just crossed his arms, left completely speechless that something like this existed.
Before he asked his questions, he remembered the attire his counterpart was wearing was completely weird.
This made him think that this Natsuki Subaru did something different that led him towards a different place.
"Tell me, what exactly makes our realities different?"
"Well, I made the choice to stay and fight. From what I can tell here, you ran away from Emilia-tan."
"..."
Subaru noticed the silence from his counterpart. He crossed his arms and took a moment to think before continuing to speak.
"You aren't the first Natsuki Subaru who ran away. The last one I confronted had run away as well but unlike him, you didn't cause so much destruction. You just sat around while the destruction of our friends happened."
"Hmph. I won't argue that. I did run away but in exchange, I saved Rem from a horrible fate. I got to live and make a happy family." The Elder Subaru said without regret, remembering the deaths he experienced after Julius had humiliated him. The one death that comes to mind when he recalls them was his death with Puck, making the realization of how he isn't needed. "We were never needed. Nobody cared about us except Rem. She's the only one that I really care about. As long as she's by my side, I can move forward."
"You aren't wrong."
"Hm?" The Elder Subaru opened his eyes as he was surprised by what he heard from his young counterpart. Subaru continued to speak:
"Rem is important to me as well. She is the reason I haven't given up even when I have. She still helps me push forward even when..." The boy paused as he still felt the intense pain of losing Rem to Gluttony. "...when I lost her to that bastard."
"What do you mean lost her?"
"...let's just say after managing to kill the White Whale with her help and killing Petelguese with Julius' help, she was attacked by the Sin Archbishop of Gluttony."
"Wait...hold on." The Elder Subaru got up from where he was sitting down as he needed a moment to process everything he had heard. "So you beat the White Whale and that bastard Sloth?"
"Yes."
"With Julius?"
"Yes."
"The same Julius that kicked our ass in front of everyone?"
"Yes."
The Elder Subaru stood silent and shocked as he did not expect something like this was possible. Guilt did increase in his heart but it didn't overtake him since it had been many years since he had last thought about his choice to abandon Emilia and those in the Emilia camp to their fate.
"Then I must congratulate you. You saved Emilia, I assume. But tell me this..." The atmosphere turned tense as the Elder Subaru's eyes turned into a more serious one. "...why didn't you save Rem?"
Subaru noticed the way his counterpart spoke, as if he was judging him. He hated this since he knows that he did his best to save everyone and yet...
"I tried to go back but the checkpoint set in...she's now in a coma because I wasn't fast enough. Even with Return By Death, I can't be in two places at once."
The Elder Subaru just closed his eyes, unsure on how to take this. On one hand, his young counterpart managed to stop two big threats that he could never do and save many lives but on the other hand, he lost Rem in the process because he couldn't be there to help her at the same time.
"That brings me to one important question my younger self, what brings you here?"
"I...honestly don't know..."
For once, Subaru doesn't know why he is even in this world. Each of the ones he has gone through, it has been too late to help those versions of Natsuki Subaru yet a chance to save the world from continuing to suffer under their rule.
Here though, it is completely different. There aren't any immediate threats he needs to worry about, the world seems to be fine despite how much death might have and still is happening by the Witch's Cult. The Elder Subaru closed his eyes as he went into deep thinking for a moment before he asked with a curious tone:
"Tell me, what were the other versions of us like?"
Subaru looked at his older version of himself with some hesitance, unsure if this should be told but at this point, it might as well be said.
He began by explaining what he saw in the Sin Archbishop of Pride's world, all he encountered and the memories that came along with it before talking about the Purge King's world and his memories.
Elder Subaru just stood quiet, giving no facial expression as he processed every ounce of information.
Once everything was said, the Elder Subaru just stood silent as he needed a moment to think about what he heard. After a few seconds, he turned towards his young counterpart to ask him:
"Do you believe that you did the right thing?"
"What do you mean?" A hint of hostility was shown in the boy's voice, disliking what his older self was implying.
"I mean, I don't blame you for wanting to take both of our counterparts down. Heck, I'm more pissed about the Purge King. Leaving Rem dead...it's shitty but at the same time, he isn't pure evil."
"The hell do you mean? He left Rem to die like a coward! He killed Beako! Imprisoned both Emilia-tan and Ram! Threatened Frederica! Killed so many people! So tell me how isn't that bastard pure evil?!"
"Because he isn't perfect and neither are you!" The Elder Subaru said as he raised his voice like a father would to their child. "You act like a hero and well, maybe you are. You probably have done a lot, been through a lot with Emilia, Beako, Otto, and others but at the end of the day, you are just a boy from another world and so were they!"
"I know that! I know I don't have to be there for Emilia-tan but I choose to be there for her. I want to make her ruler, not because it's my obligation, I just want to help her out."
"And that's not a bad thing. Hell, I'm happy that you got what you wanted but that's just you."
"What are you implying here?"
"Despite what you've been through and believe me, I can imagine it clearly, you aren't some special Natsuki Subaru that gets everything right and has a happy, perfect fairy tale ending."
Subaru paused as he knew this, he knows he isn't perfect but compared to the versions he has met, he is better than them.
He believes that he was humble when he needed to be rather than be prideful, he was selfless and gave up the life he had saved in order to go back and save Rem, and he didn't give up when Rem said that he shouldn't give up, when she gave him his chance to start his life in another world from zero.
Before the boy could respond with passion in his voice, his older version continued.
"I ran away and yeah, maybe it wasn't the best choice. Maybe I should've kept fighting like you did, tried to save everyone but what's done is done. I can't keep looking at the past that is full of regrets. All I can do is move forward with Rem and my two amazing children by my side."
"I get that. Family is important and I'm not even saying that you were wrong to want to run away. I wanted to run away too but thanks to Rem, I didn't. She kept me going."
"But in exchange, you had to leave her behind to fight another battle. As a consequence, you lost her to save everyone else." The Elder Subaru says with a blank expression, leaving his young counterpart silent.
"..."
"*Sigh* I know you have good intentions, but you are stubbornly seeing things in just one way. Let's start with the version that joined the Witch Cult. If what you told me is correct, then yeah, he is insane but he is also someone who was left all on his own. You and I had Rem, Emilia, Ram, and Beako. He had to rely on his own strength, his own person. Let's not even mention the amount of deaths he must've endured. As for the Purge King...with him, I don't know what to say really. As you stated, he imprisoned Emilia and Ram. He threatened someone you know named Frederica. He killed Beako. To top it all off, he caused mass genocide. Those are some shitty things to do, almost if not rivaling what our Pride counterpart has done. If we are going by what he has done alone, then yes, he is also a horrible person but think deeper than that. He didn't have the obligation to save Rem...as much as that pains me, it is the truth. We chose to waste that life to save someone we wanted to save. We aren't obligated to do anything, which is why I ran away...because I felt like in the end, I wasn't needed."
"But t-that's not true. I—" Before Subaru could even say anything, his older version continued to speak.
"I doubt you were sent to each of these worlds just to fix them from our mistakes. I mean, why are you here? To arrest me for running away? Don't get me wrong, I get what you were doing with Pride and Purge, those two did need to be stopped but did you even try to talk to them, try to redeem them? They are Natsuki Subaru as well. Just ones that didn't have a support group like we did."
"Th-Those bastards don't deserve mercy...! They—!"
"I know you are angry but that doesn't answer my question, young Natsuki Subaru. Did you try to negotiate with them? Use the memories you acquired to help bring them back from the darkness? Or did you just leap at the chance to play the hero role?"
"What the hell?! Trying to reason with two insane people is insane within itself!"
"Yeah, I know that. But we are insane as well."
"Insane? Us? What the fu—?!"
"Think about it. We di—took our own life for someone that could've killed us. This alone tells you that we aren't right in the head. Not just once either. Multiple times to the point where at any moment, we could become numb to the concept of dying itself."
"We had a good reason! Hell, if we didn't do it, Rem wouldn't be there for us when we need her!"
"Yes, I know. I love Rem with everything I got and I love Rigel and Spica as well. That's why I'm satisfied with my choice."
"And what if you return back?! What if you can't have that happy ending you want?!" Subaru shouted as his frustration had increased more than he expected. "Then what would you do then? Run away again? Like a fucking coward."
"Yes."
"..."
"I'd do it all again; befriend Halibal, deal with the nonsense that is Zarestia, raise my son and daughter almost the exact way just with a little better parenting skill, and marry Rem all over again."
"What...?"
"I know it may happen, hell if it does then it would feel like all my efforts would've gone to waste...until I realize that I will always have Rem by my side. I'll always know that she will always support me. That's just who we are, a couple of old love birds."
"..."
"Things will get tough such as explaining why I know events or maybe things would get boring of repeating who knows how many times...but as long as I have Rem and the family we created on my side, nothing else matters."
"Nothing else matters...is that right?" Subaru says as he can't believe what he is hearing, from an older version of himself no less. "So, you rather leave Beatrice trapped in her forbidden library, desperately waiting for someone who will never come?"
"That's—"
"You'll just allow Ram, Rem's own sister and by proxy your sister in law to die? You'll just let Emilia-tan die as well? Killed by that maniac witch cultist?! You'll let Crusch and Wilhelm both perish to the White Whale?! Allow that bastard Regulus to walk around and keep harming people? Sirius? The bastard gluttony? All of those bad, evil, disgusting people! You'll just let them live?!" Subaru shouted with passion in his voice, knowing just how bad things would get without him.
The Elder Subaru was getting angry at this but he kept a level head, being reminded that he is the actual adult between the two.
"Yeah, I get what you are saying. Our involvement would...no, it will save so many people but have you ever thought about yourself? About how our power is just tearing our own sanity apart?"
"..."
"I've had time to think about this and yes, I do regret wholeheartedly not saving Emilia. She was someone who saved my—I mean, our lives at the beginning but...after what happened with Julius and that fight...I realized that she doesn't need me. I don't want to force something that wasn't there to begin with. We may be the same person, but that is not who this Natsuki Subaru is."
The two Subarus remembered these events, both viewing the events differently. The Elder Subaru as a reminder of who he is deep down while Subaru knows that it was a mistake he needed to learn in order to improve on who he was back then.
"I get what you mean, we were real assholes to Emilia-tan. Trying to use our feelings to get her to understand. I get it. But she does need us, she needs a friend. She needs someone who she can count on."
"I guess...I mean, I assume you know since you've spent more time with her but...I'm not putting my wife's life in danger along with the existence of my children just to save Emilia. It's not like I don't want to save her but I just can't risk it. You might have traded the life of one for the sake of saving many others, but I'd gladly trade the same many people if it meant I could keep the few closest to my heart safe."
Subaru wanted to argue back, he wanted to convince his older self that he needed to save Emilia until it finally hit him.
He has been forcing his ideologies on people.
Although he has done good, he can't force his counterparts to think like him. Doing that was pride and vanity to the highest degree and that isn't the kind of person Natsuki Subaru wanted to be.
("Following the logic, it does. You and me are friends, Meili.")
("Oni-san! My doll broke!")
("My My, you are quite the person, aren't you?")
("Don't say that while looking at me all...weirdly! Gives me off signals, besides my heart belongs to someone else.")
("Maybe that was going a little too far, don't you think?")
'What the?!' Subaru was caught off guard by theses sudden memories of Pride, some he hadn't been aware of.
("Everything will be okay, Subaru.")
("Thank you...for saving us...Purge King. We are in your debt.")
("Hmph. You may have saved me but I'm still going to kill you, Barasu.")
("That's fine. I don't need forgiveness.")
Subaru's head was starting to hurt as he gained now more unknown memories from The Purge King as well.
("What should we name our new baby girl?")
("She shall be named...Spica.")
("Hey old man, can you...help me with something?")
("Sure! Anything for my son!")
("It's good to see you again, Su-san.")
("I love you, Rem.")
("I love you too...S-Subaru-kun.")
One after another came to the boy's mind, showing him everything. This eventually caused Subaru to unlock the other memories, though unlock was a simple way of putting it. Rather, he finally decided to stop looking away from all the memories that he could have chosen to see in the first place.
He still witnesses every dark deed Pride has done though he also started to see some moments were he isn't an insane asshole such as small bonding moments with Meili and Elsa, helping a lost boy in the streets, and even trying to assure that Emilia isn't hurt by any of the Sin Archbishops. He also sees that Pride had moments of regret since he doesn't like killing people to a degree, with Petelguese of that world being the one friend Pride made.
For Purge King, he witnesses the death he brings but he also witnesses things he never thought of such as doing everything in his power to save Ram from mana poisoning despite how many times she has tried to kill him, had saved an entire city in Kararagi, and even tries to treat all of his minions as good as he can despite not trusting them. He also sees the moments where he goes to cry on Emilia's lap, showing Subaru just how much pain the Purge King really was in since he never truly wanted to hurt anybody.
Before, all he wanted to see were memories that justified his excuses for the other Subaru's being bad people. Now that he knows his viewpoint altogether was wrong, the dam that had been holding back everything else burst in one go, flooding his mind with the full memories of the two Subaru's he helped to put down.
He also had the chance to fully view this world's Natsuki Subaru's memories. He saw how happy Rem and him were, how hard they worked to make sure Rigel and Spica had good lives. All of this caused Natsuki Subaru to just sit down next to his counterpart, unsure now since he doesn't know how he could amend the things he caused and how he should move forward.
'I'm still an idiot. No matter what I do...I'll just cause so much pain in the end...'
"Come on you dumb young version of me, stop looking all gloomy."
"Huh?" Subaru looked at his counterpart's direction, noticing that he was standing up all of a sudden and lending a hand.
"If Rem truly helped you to not give up, wouldn't it be appropriate to follow her wish?"
"..."
"I know you hate that I left everyone behind and you want me to try to start over but I love my family, I don't want them to be gone because of a 'what if' that could have made everything better. We are not omniscient and as you said, checkpoints will update randomly. I can't trade certainty for a possibility."
"That's not the case. I don't want you to give up on your family." Subaru says this as he started to accept his older version's assistance in getting back on his feet. "I just want you to help Emilia-tan should our ability allow you to. She really needs a friend at the very least."
"...I don't know, Puck made it very clear that we aren't allowed to go back." The Elder Subaru said as he recalled every vivid detail of his last death, dying in the cold while laughing at how he had failed everyone.
"I understand your concerns but that's because we have never told Emilia-tan why we help her, not in a proper way that is."
"What? Tell her that she saved us when we first arrived? That won't work."
"That's not what I'm saying." The elder Subaru looked at his young self with a confused facial expression. "We helped her because we want to truly be close to her. In your case though, it would be because you want to be Emilia-tan's friend. I mean, who wouldn't?"
"..."
"Come on." Subaru teases his older self, knowing that deep down in the core of any Natsuki Subaru, Emilia will always be there regardless of what the feeling is. The elder Subaru just scratched his head with an uncertain look.
"I guess. I mean, it doesn't hurt to be friends with a silver haired half elf."
"A cute one at that."
Elder Subaru just gives Subaru a stare which causes the young version to laugh a bit, finding this all funny. Eventually the Elder Subaru chuckles a little, finding it a little funny the situation but also a little relief, knowing that there is a way to save everyone.
"We should probably get back to the dinner table, my wife wouldn't like it if we missed dinner."
"Yeah, I can imagine."
The two Subarus laughed at this before going off towards the direction of the dining room, knowing that they should hurry. Just as they were getting closer towards the location, the two Natsuki Subarus notice that the atmosphere is suddenly tense.
"Barusu!"
"Hm?" The two Subarus look forward as Ram is approaching the two in a serious manner.
"Oh, hi there Ram, it has been quite a while since—"
Without warning she punches the elder Subaru in the gut, sending him flying into a wall. Subaru was stunned by this alongside Rem.
Rigel covered Spica's ears while having told her to cover her eyes, not wanting her little sister to be shown such violence while also interested to see what his old man did to piss his aunt off.
Zarestia just looked with a blank facial expression, not sure of what to make of this situation. The Elder Subaru slowly got up with his body hurting.
"D-Damn...I forgot how strong you were..."
Without warning once again, this Subaru got slapped in the face, almost knocking him out due to the amount of strength Ram is using behind her attacks.
"Hold on Ram, there is no need—"
"Shut it, Barusu!"
She slaps Subaru across the face, sending him flying across the living room and almost knocking him out as well.
"Wh-What the heck...Ram?" The Elder Subaru questioned since he is confused on why Ram would just start attacking him.
She did not respond at that moment as she just started to punch him with a bit of force. Subaru managed to get back his senses to see that Ram is just beating the shit out of his older counterpart.
"Ram! Stop!"
Subaru goes and quickly tries to stop her only to get shoved away.
'For the love of.'
Subaru knowing that this was his only chance at calming the situation, he uses Invisible Providence, managing to catch the attention of Zarestia while also managing to shove Ram away from the elder Subaru.
The moment this happened, Rem quickly went towards her sister's position to restrain her.
"Please calm down, sissy."
"Calm down? No disrespect sister but this trash deserves to die."
"Wait...why...?" Subaru questions in a weak tone since he was recovering his body after having used the sloth witch factor.
"Sissy, it's okay."
"Okay?! This piece of shit wanted a divorce! He deserves death!"
"Divorce? What is she talking about?" Subaru asked as he was helping his counterpart get up on his feet. The Elder Subaru took a moment to think carefully before realizing what Ram meant.
"Oh...that...hm."
"Older Me, please tell me what is going on?" Subaru asked with a worried tone since he knows that Ram will kill him if he doesn't explain himself now. Elder Subaru giggled nervously as he began to say:
"I was joking when I said that—"
The Elder Subaru was hurt when Ram managed to kick a chair towards her brother in law's direction, causing him to get injured.
"A joke? A fucking joke?! I'm going to kill your ass!"
"Sissy, please!"
Rem pleads as she doesn't want her sister to kill her husband. Subaru couldn't help but look disappointed at his older self.
"Man, you really fucked up."
"Oh shut up younger me."
As the elder Subaru said this, they all stopped as they heard a knock at the door.
"Hm? Visitors? Who?" Subaru asked his older counterpart. The elder Subaru wasn't sure himself, prompting him to turn towards his wife to see if she knew who it could be.
"Halibel-san?"
"Maybe but he said he was busy tonight."
As everyone in the elder Natsuki Subaru's household were wondering who this visitor could be, Subaru heard the watcher once again.
"Open the door."
'Why?'
"Because, it is for you and your counterpart."
Subaru was very hesitant to listen to the watcher but considering that he broke the rules to allow Beatrice to assist him against the Purge King, it could be something similar like that.
He walked slowly towards the door with everyone turning towards him.
Just as he arrived at the door, he was hesitant for a moment since he doesn't know what the watcher is up to and yet he set his hand on the doorknob.
"Well guys, one way to find out."
As Subaru finishes speaking, he opens the door only to be left caught off guard by what he was seeing.
"Wha...?"
"Subaru? Where are we?" A girl spoke with a soft tone of voice, one that Rem and the Elder Subaru haven't heard in such a long time.
"E-Emilia-tan?"
Author's note:
Been a long while, honestly this chapter was something I gave with everything I got and with the help of Cloud Link Zero, I think this is one of my best chapters. I will say that since my last semester of university started, I will be a tad bit slow but I won't stop writing this story along with the others since I really do love this story.