Sloth Chapter 5: A fated reunion
"Emilia-tan? Wh-what are you doing here?" Subaru questioned since he didn't expect Emilia to be here.
"I don't know. One moment we were in the Pleiades Watchtower and then the next...wait, how long have you been here?"
"Why do you ask?"
"Because you weren't wearing that when we went to the watchtower." Emilia pointed out, knowing that Subaru had a different attire altogether.
"R-Right, well I haven't been here too long but...it's complicated."
Emilia looked at Subaru for a moment before slowly entering, wondering what kind of place she was at. Subaru wanted to stop her but at the same time he knew that she had the right to learn what was going on.
"What is this place, Subaru?"
"W-Well..."
There was a pause as Emilia's eyes met with the elder Subaru, who was completely stunned at the entire situation. Rem also noticed Emilia which caused her hold on her sister to loosen. Ram took note of this and was extremely tempted to beat the crap out of the elder Subaru, still angry at him for his misdeeds but she knew that she had to wait since she could sense her sister's fear.
"Emilia-sama, do you know how you got here?" Ram asked, wanting to break the silence that had been lingering in the room for a minute.
"I-I don't know...we were all in the watchtower and then I ended up here. A voice told me to knock on this specific house."
"A voice...?" Subaru asked as he started to think carefully on this. It didn't take the boy long before he figured that this was the watcher's doing.
'You...what the hell are you doing now?!'
"Giving you both an opportunity."
'Both? Opportunity? For what?! To cause drama?!'
There was no response from the watcher.
'Damn that bastard!'
Subaru had tightened his fist for a moment before quickly calming down, knowing that this isn't the time to get angry. Once he managed to calm himself down, Emilia looked deeply at the elder Subaru with a curious look.
"Who are you? Why do you look like Subaru? Are you his older brother?"
"If he were my older brother, he would be pretty lousy at it." Subaru said, wanting to get a jab at his older self.
"I don't know about that, I'm clearly the much wiser one between the two of us."
"Wiser my ass, you just admitted to making a stupid joke. I shouldn't—"
"Okay, shut up." Elder Subaru said as he did not wanted Ram's anger to boil over once again, knowing the hell that awaits him if she was to be reminded of such a dumb mistake he made a long while back. He turned towards Emilia to answer her questions. "This is weird to say but I'm Natsuki Subaru...from another version of your world."
"Another...version of my world? I'm sorry, I don't understand what you mean."
'Talk about a blast from the past.' The elder Subaru thought since he did find it cute the way Emilia's confused face looked and how her voice sounds, despite how badly he tried to subconsciously deny that. He turned towards his younger self.
"Hey young me, mind explaining things? You are the expert on this."
Subaru was tempted to make a joke at his older self's expense but since he doesn't want Emilia out of the loop, he started explaining the situation.
"Consider this world like ours but different. And by different, I mean that it is built by a different choice that we all made."
"Different choice?"
"Yeah. Consider this world to be its own world for just one major choice."
"...okay..."
Emilia tried to think carefully on what she was told, trying to understand the situation but everyone's attention would shift once Zarestia, Rigel, and Spica all three entered the scene.
"What's going on?" Zarestia said since she noticed how everything had turned silent. Rigel and Spica were also curious about this as well. As the three entered the living room, they noticed the silver haired half elf.
"Old man, who is that?" Rigel instantly asked, knowing that this had to be someone his father knew.
"Well...she's..."
"Emilia-tan!" Subaru said, knowing that his older self was uncertain on how to address Emilia, considering how long it had been since he had seen her. Rigel turned his attention towards Subaru for a moment before looking back at Emilia.
"So 'Subaru', are you in a relationship with her?"
"Yes!" Subaru instinctively answered. "She's the royal candidate of Lugnica with me being her one and only knight!"
("Nice to meet you, members of the council of elders. My name is Natsuki Subaru. I am a manservant in Roswaal's mansion, and I serve as this candidate's...Emilia-sama's best knight!")
("You just declared that you are a knight. And you did so here, audaciously, before the Knights of Lugnica!")
("You are irredeemably powerless. You are not worthy to stand at her side.")
("Stop telling lies about how everything is for my sake! Coming to the castle, fighting Julius, using magic...Are you saying that was all for me? I never asked you to do any of that! Hey, do you remember what I asked you to do? I asked you to wait at the lodging with Rem. I asked you not to use magic because using more would endanger you.")
("I owe you so many debts, Subaru. So I'll repay all of them now. And we'll end this. You've done enough, Natsuki Subaru. You know, I had hopes for you. I thought maybe you...That only you wouldn't give me special treatment. That you'd look at me in the same, exact way you look at everyone else.")
("Well, I think teaching swordsmanship which will make a man stronger, to one who has abandoned the option to get stronger seems meaningless.")
("Look. You must look. That is the result of your actions. By doing nothing, you practiced sloth...And because of that, the girl is dead!")
("You don't know why? You haven't once said that you want to save Emilia.")
("You called it here, let Lia die, and now, you die yourself.")
("You truly are slothful, Subaru.")
The elder Subaru was completely shaken when he heard his younger self name himself as the knight of Emilia with the silver haired half elf actually being here. Many of those failed loops he had managed to suppress over the years started to resurface. While the elder Subaru did his best to contain his guilt, Emilia turned towards Subaru to tell him,
"Subaru...you don't need to shout."
"S-Sorry Emilia-tan. I just couldn't resist."
As Subaru said this in his usual playful like manner, Rem looked at the two with a blank expression, managing to keep her thoughts on the matter to herself. She was aware at this point that this Subaru had gone through a whole different life though it still hurt seeing how natural both this Subaru and Emilia acted towards each other. This prompted her to close her eyes and to humbly bow at the group as she said,
"Pardon me, Rem will be right back."
"Where are you going, sister?" Ram asked with concern, having a bad feeling.
"I'll be okay, sissy. Please excuse Rem"
"Wait, Rem are you—?"
"I'll be okay...please excuse Rem."
As she cuts the elder Subaru with a kind response, she leaves towards the backyard to gain some space. The two Subarus and Ram instantly knew that something was bothering her.
"Wait hold—"
"Hold on, older me, let me do this."
"What? But she's—"
"I'm going to talk to my sister." Rem cut both Subarus' conversation, determined to help her sister.
"No, allow me to talk to mom." Rigel said with conviction. He prepared to go help his mother only to be stopped by Zarestia.
"No, allow me to help Rem-sama." She said with concern in her voice.
"Why? So you can try and—"
"Finish that sentence and I'll kill you on the spot." Zarestia said in a calm manner, instilling a bit of fear in Rigel since he's pushing it too far at this point with that story. Just as Zarestia was about to go help her friend, Ram had grabbed her arm.
"No. You are not going near sissy."
"...let go."
"No."
"..."
"..."
Zarestia and Ram both locked eyes as they were both preparing to fight each other once again. Before anything could happen, Zarestia closed her eyes first.
"Okay. You are Rem-sama's sister. I will allow this once."
"Hmph."
Just as Ram was about to go help her sister, Subaru had grabbed her arm.
"Wait Ram, allow me—."
"Let go Barusu, unless you wish to lose your arm."
"Let me help Rem. Please."
"No."
"Then what about me?" The Elder Subaru said as he approached both Ram and Subaru. Ram responded quickly to the elder Subaru's question.
"Why? So you can tell her some stupid ass joke again?" Ram sharply said to the elder Subaru, showing that she still holds anger towards him for the whole divorce joke.
"Then allow me, Ram."
"She's my sister. Now let go." As Ram finished speaking, she pulls her arm away from Subaru's hand. Although Subaru knows that he should allow Ram to handle this, something was prompting him that this is his moment.
("Giving you both an opportunity.")
Subaru remembered the last thing that the watcher had said, leaving him annoyed how this was probably the opportunity he was meaning. His chance to speak with Rem. He looked at Ram with a determined facial expression before it shifted into a hesitant one.
"I know but allow me. I...I also need to talk to her."
"..."
"Please..."
"..."
Ram looked at Subaru with a sharp facial expression, trying to think carefully on whether she should allow Subaru to talk to her sister. Just as her mind was made up within three seconds, she remembered something he had said to her a while earlier.
("...I should've been stronger, to save Rem. Had I been stronger or even competent, then maybe she wouldn't be in deep sleep...")
Ram recalled that there was still guilt in Subaru's heart and that this was the chance for him to let that guilt die.
"*Sigh* Fine Barusu...but if you make sissy cry, you will wish for death."
"U-Understood." Subaru said with a hesitant voice since he knows that Ram is being serious. As he goes towards the backyard, Emilia was silent since she hadn't noticed Rem until the entire situation had happened.
This caused her to understand that this was a world where Rem and Subaru ended up together. She looked at the older Subaru for a moment before turning towards Spica and Rigel.
She had noticed that something looked oddly familiar on Rigel but seeing that Subaru and Rem were together in this world, she saw that this boy was their child. She found her heart clenching.
'Why does...it hurt?'
As she thought this, Rigel approached her as he wanted to know something.
"So, how did you meet the old man?"
"Old man?" Emilia asked with a confused tone of voice.
"*Sigh*, Your knight."
"Oh. You mean Subaru. Well..." Emilia's heart shifted from slight pain into warmth as she remembered how she first encountered Natsuki Subaru. "He saved my life."
"Really?" Rigel asked with a skeptical tone, surprised that his father could do anything, especially something like that.
"Yes, he did his very best and saved me from that Bowel Hunter. Though I do hate when he gets himself into danger, I do appreciate all the hard work Subaru does."
Rigel was surprised by this while the Elder Subaru couldn't help but smile since he doesn't regret dying to save Emilia from Elsa.
Remembering this also brought him the memories of the mansion, how he did his best to hangout with Beatrice any chance he got, how he worked alongside both his wife and sister-in-law, and the number of moments he had with Emilia despite it being one-sided.
Though on the flip side, those same memories once again reminded him of his mistakes that he did back then, back when the royal selection started.
("I understand your concerns but that's because we have never told Emilia-tan why we help her, not in a proper way that is.")
("What? Tell her that she saved us when we first arrived? That won't work.")
("That's not what I'm saying. We helped her because we want to truly be close to her. In your case though, it would be because you want to be Emilia-tan's friend. I mean, who wouldn't?")
The elder Subaru thought back on the talk with his younger self, remembering what he was asked should he have the chance to make up with Emilia. Although this isn't his Emilia, this was possibly the one chance he has to let the guilt in him be expressed in full and maybe…maybe he can find it in himself to let that same guilt go..
'Hm...so that's why you wanted to talk with Rem. I can't blame you though. This is your opportunity...and mine as well.'
The elder Subaru had realized that this is the chance to make amends with himself and finally be able to move forward. He turned towards Ram and Zarestia first to tell them,
"Could you two please take care of Rigel and Spica for a bit? I need to talk with Emilia alone."
"Why should I?" Ram instantly responded as she was still extremely mad at him. The elder Subaru noticed this, prompting him to quickly say,
"I know you hate me but please Ram."
"..." Ram was silent for a moment before slapping him on the face. "I'll let you have your talk with Emilia-sama out of respect for my world's Barasu...but know that you aren't off the hook yet."
"...noted."
Ram turned towards her nephew and niece to quickly take them towards the kitchen with Zarestia following behind. Before Zarestia was about to leave with Ram, Spica, and Rigel, she had turned towards the elder Subaru to say,
"Just don't do anything stupid."
"That goes for you as well."
"True...but at least I didn't say stupid things to Rem."
"Is that right?"
"Yup."
Zarestia turns around and begins to leave, content with herself. The elder Subaru was a little annoyed by this but he just let that go as he turned towards Emilia.
"Emilia, can we speak?"
"S-Sure." Emilia spoke with a little hesitance, not sure what this version of Subaru wanted to talk about. The elder Subaru offered her a seat to which she thanked him since she appreciated the politeness before she sat down.
"Before we chat, do you want something to drink?"
"I'll be okay. Thanks for asking."
"Y-Yeah..." The elder Subaru was too nervous since he didn't know where to start. He was still afraid to talk with Emilia after the last loop he had gone through before he ran away..
("You called it here, let Lia die, and now, you die yourself.")
His hand began to shake as he started to truly remember how he had killed her the last time he had set foot on the mansion, he closed his eyes with the guilt overwhelming him. Before he ended up hating himself once again for having run away, leaving Emilia and those in the mansion and in the village to die, he felt Emilia's soft hand ruffled his hair.
"Huh?"
"You looked like you were in pain. Since you are with Rem, I can't give you a lap pillow but I want to do something to help you."
The elder Subaru was surprised by this since he had forgotten just how kindhearted Emilia was. A part of him wanted to cry but remembering that he is an adult, he kept that side to himself, only reserved for Rem's eyes. As he managed to hold back the tears, he lamented on his own weaknesses.
"Man, after giving so much hell to my younger self, I'm still pathetic like him."
"I don't think you are pathetic." Emilia said with a kind gesture and voice.
"You really are nice...I don't deserve it...not after..." He paused himself since he didn't know if it was even right to say what he has guilted over. Emilia noticed the pause, prompting her to slowly change the subject from the Subaru in front of her to the Subaru she personally knew.
"You know, my Subaru and you aren't too different. You both do your best to help the people you both care about. You both are kind. And will do everything to make the person you find so dear to your heart happy."
"Y-Yeah, I better hope my younger self is making you happy. He's so stubborn, strong headed, an idiot...but a lovable idiot at that."
"Yeah. I do hate it when he always puts himself into danger...but I know he does it because he wants to keep me and everyone else safe."
"He sure does...(while I ran away)."
The elder Subaru truly reflected back on his actions and the things he had told his younger self. Although he still holds true to his words that he would repeat this happy ending with Rem, he does think on his young counterpart's words.
("And what if you return back?! What if you can't have that happy ending you want?! Then what would you do then? Run away again? Like a fucking coward.")
'I would repeat it all with Rem, all I ever needed was Rem because I love her. I love my children. I love my friends Halibel and Zarestia. I love this life...but I also know that he is somewhat right on one thing. Will I constantly repeat the same happy life knowing that everything will be the same? Will I really abandon those dearest to me...?'
The elder Subaru really thought to himself on why he had told his younger self that he would do everything again without being sure himself on a subconscious level. Seeing Emilia now reminded him of why Rem had fallen in love with him in the first place, why she had stayed loyal to him until the bitter end in many of the failed loops, including the loop he is in now.
'I didn't give up on her. I wanted to save her life—no, I wanted to save everyone. I wanted to make sure Petra and her friends had a future. I wanted Rem and Ram to still be alive together so they wouldn't suffer the loss of a family member. I did that because I truly cared for them. Even if it was painful, I didn't want to lose them because they meant something...they still mean something to me.'
The elder Subaru smiled at himself as he started to see that his younger self had managed to influence him in the same way he influenced him.
'Well then, Natsuki Subaru, I'll be damned. I guess like the saying goes, you can teach an old dog some new tricks.'
With this affirmation in his heart, he was finally ready to take the next step should he be able to but first he needed to make amends with himself. To do that, he opened his eyes and looked at Emilia's purple eyes in order to let go of the guilt in him.
"Emilia, I hope you can forgive me."
"Huh? For what?" Emilia asked with both concerned and a bit of curiosity.
"Forgive me for having acted like a fool in the royal selection. I should've known better that it wasn't helping you there. Hell, I broke a promise for selfish reasons. After many years later, I definitely know that it was wrong doing such a stupid stunt like that. I should've trusted you more. Not only that but our fight, I wasn't honest with you on why I helped you out so many times even when I wasn't needed. It was because you meant so much to me that I just wanted to help. Even so, fighting with Julius and using my magic when I wasn't supposed to is no excuse, so forgive me for that as well. And lastly..."
The elder Subaru paused as a few tears wanted to come out as the pain of having left his world's Emilia to die.
"...S-Sorry th-that I left you to die...I'm sorry...I'm sorry..."
The elder Subaru broke as he started to cry, all the guilt finally coming out since he had left so many people to die. As he was crying, Emilia was a bit stunned at this for a moment, understanding now what her Subaru meant by a different world through a different choice. Although it did hurt knowing that this Subaru didn't save her when the witch cult attacked prior to the events of the Sanctuary, she couldn't help but hug him, wanting to help comfort the elder Subaru.
"It's okay Subaru. It's okay. I forgive you on behalf of the me that isn't here anymore. I know she would say the same thing."
'Even as an adult, you are still a big softie you dunderhead.'
Emilia messed with the elder Subaru's hair and continued to hug him until he finally stopped crying. Once this happened, the elder Subaru cleaned up his face before saying to the silver haired half elf,
"Thanks Emilia, I really needed this."
"You're welcome." Emilia smiled as she was happy to have helped this Subaru. The two remained silent for a moment with the elder Subaru recollecting his thoughts. Just as it seemed like the conversation was done, the elder Subaru wanted to know something.
"Do you think that...if I had the chance to save you, could we have been able to be friends?"
Emilia paused herself as she understood that this Subaru's heart is fully dedicated towards Rem, making her worry a bit whether her Subaru would also end up loving Rem once she wakes up. Although this did worry her, she did want to be honest with this Subaru in front of her. She thought deeply on the question before answering as honest as she could,
"I think we would make great friends, Natsuki Subaru."
"You think?"
"Yeah, but be honest with what you want. I won't know what you want unless you tell me."
("I can't understand if you don't tell me, Subaru.")
The elder Subaru still remembered the painful memories of that encounter with Emilia but having reassurance from this Emilia helped him feel a bit of inner peace with himself. He smiled as he looked up at his ceiling.
"If you are worried that my young self won't love you as much, then don't because you mean the world to him."
"Huh?" Emilia was caught off guard by this sudden change of subject.
"I know you are worried about that since my question did bring some concern to your face, but you don't need to worry. He chose to save you because he loves you. He thinks the world of you."
"H-How would you know that?" Emilia asked with a bit of hesitance.
"Because I know myself better than anyone else." The elder Subaru said with a confident smile, knowing just how much his younger self loves Emilia. She was surprised by the confidence in the elder Subaru's voice though it made her happy since she can trust his word considering he is a wiser Subaru.
"Thank you Subaru."
"I should be thanking you, Emilia. You reminded me of what I need to do once I get my happy ending."
Emilia wasn't sure what the elder Subaru was saying but she trusted him since he is just the older version of her knight. The elder Subaru looks at the door leading to the backyard, curious to know how his young counterpart is doing with his wife.
'Good luck, Natsuki Subaru. You are going to need it.'
During the time Elder Subaru and Emilia were speaking, Subaru had managed to reach the backyard just as Rem had stopped running, trying to hold her emotions despite thinking that she's alone.
Subaru realized that Rem was suffering though he wasn't sure on what, prompting him to slowly approach her, not wanting to startle her only for Rem to easily detect him.
"Subaru-kun, I know you are there."
"S-Sorry Rem. How did you know it was me?"
"...you know why."
"Sorry. I didn't think I still had the witch's scent on me."
"...yeah..."
There was a moment of silence with Subaru facepalming himself since the start of this conversation had gone on a bad start. Rem took a deep breath before saying to the boy,
"Rem's sorry, Rem shouldn't get mad at—"
She stopped speaking as she was caught off guard by Subaru's hug.
"Eh?"
"S-Sorry Rem...I just...I really missed you..."
Rem was stunned when she heard this, feeling just how much the boy missed her by how tight his hug was and the tears that were hitting her neck.
This made her realize that her sister had been feeling the same way as Subaru though she had kept her emotions in check compared to Subaru, albeit poorly since anger seemed to be the substitute for sadness and guilt in how she expressed herself.
There was a part of her that worried that something happened to their version of Rem, making her sad since she wanted that world's Rem to be with Subaru like herself in this world she called home.
Though on the other hand, this also made her smile since she had always admired how strong her sister was and she also smiled on just how much she means to this Subaru.
She smiled but her fears were still there, the fear of losing her Subaru. She waited until the younger Subaru was done with his hug before the two could talk properly.
"I'm sorry, it's a bit pathetic of me doing that."
"Rem doesn't think that it's pathetic to show your emotions with those you care about."
"R-Right." Subaru said a little reluctantly though he still had a smile on his face. Rem smiled back as she was remembering those first few days with her Subaru. Before she could comment about her thoughts, Subaru beat her first by saying, "I see you grew out your hair."
"Yeah...do you like it?"
"It makes you super cute!" Subaru said with a thumbs up and a smile on her face, managing to cause Rem's cheeks to turn slightly pinkish red.
"I see that you are still a romantic." Rem teased, which Subaru laughed it off since he wasn't trying to. Rem giggled at this, enjoying her time with this Subaru, seeing just how hyperactive her husband was in his youth. The two smile for a bit before Subaru's facial expression changed to a more somber one.
"I don't mean to ruin the moment but...I'm a bit lost and want your guidance, Rem."
"I'd be happy to, Subaru-kun...but first, I want to know something."
"Okay."
Subaru stood silent as Rem had so many questions in her mind with only one being the strongest of them all.
"What happened to the Rem of your world?"
"..."
There was a pause since Subaru wasn't sure if he should even say the exact reason due to how much Rem hates the witch cult but he knows that she has the right to know.
Rem could see both the hesitation in Subaru's movements along with the mix of emotions of rage and sadness. This confirmed for her that she is dead in that world.
"So...I'm dead...?"
"No, you are not..."
"Huh?" Rem looked at Subaru confused.
"I just...we defeated the White Whale with the help of the Iron Fang, Wilhelm, Crusch, and her forces. After that you were unable to continue on so you went with Crusch to the capital only to be attacked while I stopped that bastard Sloth. I saved Emilia...but I lost you in the process...you ended up in a sleeping coma thanks to one of the Gluttony siblings."
Subaru stopped himself as he could feel more tears wanting to come out, having remembered just how painful it is to be the only one to remember Rem.
Despite Ram remembering right now, he knows too well that this is temporary.
Rem had a momentary pause as she tried to process everything though the answer she was given left her with a few questions, one of these being,
"Subaru-kun, who is this Crusch and Wilhelm you mentioned?"
"Oh...right…in this world they also suffered the same fate..." Subaru said as he figured that at this point, his involvement really is the factor on whether Crusch and Wilhelm continue to live. He looked down for a moment as he answered Rem's question, "Two important people that lost their lives against the White Whale in your world."
"Oh." Rem was taken aback since this would explain why those names don't sound familiar to her but could possibly be familiar to her husband.
"Still, I'm sorry Rem that I couldn't save you then...despite the fact that I declared that I would save you in front of Emilia-tan...it has been over a year and I have yet to save you...I really am a failure..."
"No you are not." Rem said in a stern voice. Subaru looked up as he hadn't heard this stern voice since he was given the best speech in his whole life. "You did everything you could, Subaru-kun. You saved so many lives and even saved Emilia-sama's life like you wanted to. You weren't aware of my counterpart being attacked by the witch cult so it isn't your fault. Don't blame yourself for something that wasn't your fault."
("...but, I don't blame you for what happened to her. That Gluttony bastard got what he deserved.")
Subaru was stunned in silence as he remembered what Ram had told him as well, how it wasn't something he shouldn't be blaming himself about. Rem smiled at the young version of her husband before going over to kiss his forehead and giving him a hug.
"I believe that you will be able to save your Rem. If you can save Emilia-sama, you can save your Rem. You are a hero."
("Because you are my hero, Subaru-kun!")
Subaru was shocked once again before he closed his eyes with a smile on his face, remembering the courage Rem gives him every time they talk. With a happy tone of voice and some tears streaming down in his eyes, he starts to say,
"Thank you Rem, for never giving up on me. Really, thank you so very very much."
"I should be the one thanking you, Subaru-kun. You and my husband. If the events still happened the same, then your Rem would feel the same."
"Yeah. She called me her hero and that's what I want to be for my Rem. I'll be there for her just like my counterpart is there for you."
"I know you will." Rem said with a smile which prompted the two to hug. As the two were hugging, Subaru looked up at the sky as he began to think about his Rem, how she is still the pillar of his strength.
'Don't worry Rem, I promise that once I'm done saving my other counterparts, properly this time, I'll make sure to be there to wake you up. That way the first person to greet you back into the world will be your hero.'
Subaru and Rem both return inside with the two happy. Rem was happy to see that no matter what, she will always have a spot in any Subaru's heart while Subaru himself is motivated once again to be a hero.
Though this time with the caring of Rem and the wisdom of his older self, he can truly be the best hero he can be without letting that hero complex get to him.
Once inside, Subaru felt that maybe it was time to go since this is when he along with his world allies leave the world though something caught his attention.
"Are you okay, Rem?" The elder Subaru asked as he was unsure if his younger counterpart managed to help his wife. She gave a heartwarming smile to him before answering with,
"I'll be okay, Subaru-kun."
As she finishes saying this, she approaches her husband to give him a quick kiss. Ram almost threw up when she saw this, hating every second of it though she was able to resist the urge to because she was happy that her sister was happy. Though she wishes she could slap her sister silly for choosing such trash as a husband.
Subaru smiled as he can see how happy both his older counterpart and this world's Rem were. This made him be grateful not just to see Rem and talk to her but also see a possible future he could've had, how it would've been a much happier and peaceful one though he doesn't regret not having this life.
'I may still hate that everyone is dead…but I am happy for you, older me, idiot or not .'
As Subaru thinks this, he also starts to think about the other Natsuki Subarus he had encountered in this odd but important journey. He first thought about the Sin Archbishop of Pride, an insane version of himself.
'I'll always detest you for your actions. How twisted your so-called love for Emilia-tan was...but it's not like I don't understand just how much it sucks to be all alone. You just wanted someone there when you needed it, but couldn't reach out because you didn't know who to reach out to. For that, I'm sorry you suffered in that aspect but otherwise, you are still an irredeemable bastard.'
Once this thought finished, he began to think about the Purge King, the suicidal and paranoid version of himself.
'As for you, I will always hate the fact that you killed Beako, that you imprisoned Emilia-tan, Ram, and Frederica...but like the insane version of us, I understand why you ended up so lifeless in a sense. You had been accused of something and chose what most would, to run away from the mansion. As much as it pains me, Rem wasn't our priority to save at that point in time. I understand you a little better now. Maybe there might have been hope, at least with you, to have redeemed yourself but I will never know now.'
As Subaru contemplated what could've happened had he actually tried to reach out, he noticed that his older counterpart was approaching him. He quickly discarded his thoughts in order to see what his older self wanted.
"Well, I don't know if you and the others will be leaving soon but I want to ask if you all stayed at least until the night ends."
"Hm? Why?"
Author's Note:
Honestly, we are close to end of this sloth if section of the story with the last chapter hopefully being posted on Valentine's day. After this if world, we will be moving on to Aganau first before Greed but there are a few things.
1. The Aganua if story section. That one will start being posted on April 1st (Subaru's birthday). Reason why is because:
2. School. Being on the last semster for my bachlor's is stressful so I want to slowly work on that on an easy pace so you all can have great quality reading.
So after next week (Feb. 14), I will be on a small hiatus but I hope that this chapter and the next one will blow you all away.