Aganau Chapter 1: Dangerous night
Subaru opened his eyes to see that he had returned back to a forest once again.
'Can I stop appearing in the middle of a freaking forest? It's very creepy and annoying at this point.'
"Not really my fault."
'How is it not your fault?! I keep spawning in the forest!'
"That's because you are needed there."
'Is that so?'
"Yes."
Subaru stayed silent for a moment. He brushed away what the watcher said to him and began to think about other things that were more important to him at the moment. The first thing that came to mind were his comrades from his world, wondering how the ones that are probably still in the watchtower are holding up.
As he thought of them, he started to think about Emilia and Beatrice, how the two were asleep in the white void where the watcher is located.
("I still need her to help you in another one of the worlds. Should I have returned her to your world, she wouldn't be able to help you out in the future.")
("Why...Why is Emilia here?!")
("She's here for the same reason as Beatrice, they will help you in a later world.")
'I wonder what world they will be needed in according to that jerk...'
As he thinks of this, he begins to close his eyes in order to reflect on everything that had transpired on this quest of dealing with the other versions of Natsuki Subaru. As he thinks back on the three worlds he had traveled so far, he starts to see a few errors he had made.
With the world of Pride, he knows that his mistake there was to not offer an actual hand to his counterpart. Although he was way more insane than the Purge King, he was still a version of him that was suffering from loneliness.
With the Purge King, he was completely paranoid thanks to what happened with Ram. Despite how he is pissed at him for having killed Beatrice and imprisoned his friends, he does understand that he could've had a talk down with him to find some reason.
Lastly with his elder self, he still dislikes that he ran away but he can't deny that it would've been nice to have a peaceful life with Rem.
'A peaceful life without any deaths...'
Subaru couldn't help but feel a bit off in thinking deeply of this possible fate that he could've had but he doesn't regret anything.
'Working hard to keep Emilia-tan, Rem, Beako, Ram, Otto, Garfiel, Petra, Frederica, Patrasche, Ryuzu, and even Meili safe. They are so important to me...I would go through hell so many times for them.'
With this in mind, he looked around for a moment to see where he should go. As he was looking, he suddenly heard what seemed to be an explosion. This prompted him to turn towards the direction of the woods.
'I guess I better get started.'
Just as Subaru thought this, he started to make his way towards that direction. At first he was walking slowly, cautious since he hadn't seen any allies appear near him. During this walk, he started to think to himself,
'I wonder what kind of version of me I'll be dealing with. Will he be like a maniac like the Sin Archbishop of Pride, paranoid to hell like the Purge King, a peaceful man like the father version of me, or will he be something completely different? Probably different but still...I hope he isn't a villain.'
As he was thinking of this, he suddenly had memories of this world's Natsuki Subaru hit him with extreme force.
"Th-There we go! Right on cue!"
As he says this, he's able to see the memories that were being shown to him. The first being in a forest very similar to the one he was in. Subaru was able to see things more clearly now with his memories. Unlike the previous worlds where he could see fragments of the memories, in this one it was like he was truly there.
("I'll kill him, I'll kill him, I'll kill him...I swear, I'm gonna kill that guy, I'm gonna kill him, I'm gonna kill him, I'm gonna kill him.")
Subaru paused as this memory was extremely overwhelming, feeling the intense hatred his other self had.
'This hate...it's so overwhelming...I remember feeling like this when—'
Before Subaru could finish his thought, another flash of memory came through. For this memory, he was in a room, an unfamiliar room to him.
'Wait, am I...?'
("Subaru...")
("I want to be strong...")
'Reinhard...'
As Subaru had thought of his friend, he figured that something horrible must've happened to this version of himself. As he was trying to think of the many possibilities that could've sparked something like this, another powerful headache came in which caused him to see another memory.
This one was set outside, noticing that it was similar to the yard he was in when training with Wilhelm after the royal selection had started.
("Subar—" Reinhard tried to speak but was cut off.)
("Don't!" Subaru said angrily. "I don't need your help anymore. No matter how far we go, we'll never understand each other. Thank you for your help...!")
After seeing this particular memory, he did feel the anger and frustration his counterpart was feeling.
'This version of me...something must've happen to him if he refused Reinhard's help...but what could've—'
("Live...Love...you...")
Subaru suddenly stopped as a few tears streamed down despite the boy not previously feeling any kind of sadness until he heard those words.
"Wha..."
Subaru was stunned by this because it wasn't just some painful memory from his counterpart's past but the same memory that had broken him during his first few loops facing Petelguese, the Sin Archbishop of Sloth.
'Rem...'
Subaru paused for a second as he felt the pain of loss that it felt when he had to hold Rem's dead body before he ended up dying to Puck in that particular loop for him. This sadness eventually turned into slight anger towards Petelguese.
Despite the fact that he is dead in his world, he knows that he's still alive in the Purge King's and the father Natsuki Subaru's worlds. This left him angry for a bit before starting to think back on that painful memory, figuring that there was a purpose to why he saw this memory.
'I saw the memory of Rem dying in the mansion when dealing with the Purge King. We shared this memory, meaning that this world's me...'
Subaru had a big pause as he realized that the change with this world has to be involved with that specific event.
'Reinhard was with my counterpart, he wanted to help him which means that I will need to find him first...well actually, I need to find out where I am.'
As Subaru's thoughts were finishing up, he looked up at the night sky to see a familiar dark hand.
'An unseen hand?!'
The boy felt a strong chill in his soul, having to remember those painful deaths he had to witness in his world because of the Sin Archbishop of Sloth.
'He killed Rem, Ram, Petra, the people of the village, the children...Emilia-tan...'
Flashes of memories appeared in his mind, the dead corpses of everyone he knew in Arlem village and in the mansion. This boiled him with extreme anger as he hated seeing how everyone was killed, in such brutal ways.
With all of these deaths back on his mind, he started to run towards the direction where he saw what could be the unseen hand. While he was closing in, he could feel such a foul stench the closer he got.
'Whoever the hell this is, they are a part of the Witch's Cult. Nobody else would produce such a foul stench.'
As he was getting closer and closer, he quickly went towards a tree as he heard someone speak with a very familiar voice.
"-Oh? Well, well, well, well?"
'That voice...it can't be...'
Subaru looked out on the tree to take a peak, wanting to see if what he was thinking was really there only to notice someone older with what appeared to be in Al's attire.
'Al? What is he doing here?'
Subaru went back into hiding as he didn't want to be spotted by what seemed to be Al but also by the person he was thinking about.
"Maybe you...Didn't you see my "unseen hand"?"
'Unseen hand? I knew it! It can only be him!'
Subaru turned back to see, noticing the first person that had pushed him to his very limits.
'Petelguese Romanée-Conti...that bastard...!'
With this confirmed for the boy, his hands began to shake as he wasn't sure how he should approach this scenario. Normally he would have someone like Rem, Ram, Beatrice, or Emilia by his side, even Julius on some occasions.
Being alone here with someone extremely dangerous would be bad for him. Despite having gotten better in dealing with dangerous witch cultists, he is still nothing compared to them if he faces them alone, especially a Sin Archbishop.
'Hm...if it is Petelguese, then I'll need to find this world's Reinhard. He should be able to aid me in defeating this bastard.'
As he was thinking about how Reinhard would be the best way to defeat the Sin Archbishop of Sloth, he continued to hear Petelguese continuing to speak like the madman he is.
"No way...No way No way No way, that shouldn't be the case!" Petelguese spoke as he was beginning to freak out.
'Well...this brings back unpleasant memories.' Subaru thought as he disliked having to remember his time dealing with Petelguese.
"The "unseen hand" of "slothfulness" bestowed by my love cannot be seen by anyone else...!"
Subaru clenched his fist with anger, hating every second of this man's voice.
"Petel...guese..." The one that Subaru assumed to be Al spoke out with a surprised tone of voice. Subaru noticed the voice and was a bit confused since he slightly recognized the voice. Before he could think more into it, Petelguese continued to speak.
"Did you just call out my name?...This is really, really, really, really, interesting." Petelguese twists his head towards the one dressed like Al, looking extremely evil with his twisted smile. "Aren't you being arrogant, sir?"
Both the Al look-alike and Subaru were angry when they heard this, hating how Petelguese was speaking.
"It's hard to think that you're not a member of the Gospel even though you've received that much love. But! If that's the case! If that's the case! Why? For what reason? With what motive? To repay your favor, diligently surrender to your trials and tribulations. You are going to attack us, Today."
"What the hell?"
Subaru watched as the Al look-alike unleashed his most powerful blow at Petelguese; Yet the Sin Archbishop of Sloth managed to easily deflect the attack with his unseen hand.
"Aha, how lamentable is the death of communication..." Petelguese sounded disappointed. "Despite my diligent attempts at dialogue, you refuse to change your hostile stance at all..."
The Al look-alike just stood silent as he gave Petelguese an intense stare of hatred and vengeance.
"To be satisfied with the unknown is more slothful than anything else! For the love that she brings! Ohh, oh, oh! Death for one who can't reward wrath instead of love!"
'Man, he really likes to talk. I forgot about that.' Subaru thought as he was starting to get annoyed by Petelguese's ramblings.
"That's why I have to be diligent! Ohhhhh, love! To love! It is my love that is rewarded!"
"What the hell?"
The Al look-alike continued to swing his sword at Petelguese, attempting to land a fatal blow on the Sin Archbishop of Sloth.
Subaru continued to watch from a distance, angry that he can't really do much at the moment since he isn't sure if this Petelguese is stronger or even beatable with just him and the person currently fighting him combined. This continued for a bit before the person facing Petelguese gained his distance and looked as if he was analyzing the battle.
Subaru looked at Petelguese to see that he was just standing there, not fazed by what was going on. Just before the boy was going to come up with a plan to help the Al look-alike, he heard him say,
"At last, we meet again. I'm relieved to see you haven't changed a bit in twenty years."
'Twenty years?! Wait a minute...I'm twenty years into the future of this world?!'
"This is because I've been looking forward to such a day!"
"Twenty years ago...?" Petelguese looked with a bit of confusion, something Subaru wasn't expecting to see...a genuine confused Petelguese without his twisted looks. Just as he was thinking, Subaru quickly tried to sneak behind the Sin Archbishop while the Al look-alike just as quickly charged at Petelguese directly ahead of him.
'Okay. So while he attacks from the front, I'll attack from behind.'
As the boy was sneaking behind Petelguese, he heard the Sin Archbishop of Sloth say,
"Oh...! Oh, Oh, Oh...Yes, Yes, Yes...I remembered that death! Twenty years ago! A night in a cave! The boy and girl who appeared before our trials! Yes, Yes! I have taken note of the favor that you had received in your body and had given you a test!"
("Now, as for your position in all this...I honestly have no idea what it is, so I shall judge you as our Lord sees fit. I will leave you bound here. Should the Gospel happen to find its way to you, I am sure you will be saved...")
'Damn you!' Subaru thought with hatred, hating every second of that moment.
"You who were nothing but a foolish, miserable, pathetic, lowly, dwarf in the guise of madness! The sinful you of that day, who just allowed the killing of the girl who thought about you in good health! You've been through so many trials and tribulations, and now you're going to appear before me once again! Oh, what love! This is love! The work of love! The miracle of love! My brain trembles!"
"Why don't you shut up?!"
"Huh?!"
Both the warrior and the Sin Archbishop of Sloth turned towards Subaru as they heard what he had shouted out. Before either could do anything, Subaru used everything he had in his Invisible Providence to punch Petelguese in the face.
'Man, I've been wanting to do this for a long while!' Subaru thought with a smile, feeling happy just to have landed a punch on the madman with his own stolen authority.
'What the...?' The warrior was caught off guard when he saw this random boy suddenly be able to use the same ability like Petelguese but against the madman. 'Wait...this is my chance!'
The warrior took this opportunity to quickly charge in Petelguese's direction. As he closed in, he swung his sword towards Petelguese's neck, attempting to kill the Sin Archbishop of Sloth right there while he still had the chance to do so. Just as his sword was about to connect to Petelguese's neck, one of his unseen hands managed to block off the attack.
"Oh, Oh, Oh! That was a pretty slothful attempt."
"Damn you!"
"And as for you!" Petelguese turned towards Subaru with anger in his face at first since he sensed the witch factors on the boy. But as he looked at the boy, his entire face morphed and twisted into an expression of surprise and thoughtful confusion. "My My, this is weird. You look just like you did twenty years ago...yet the older one was the one who I met twenty years ago. What is going on?!"
"Like hell I'm telling you!"
As Subaru yelled this he quickly turned off his sloth witch factor to avoid one of Petelguese's attacks. Petelguese did not like how Subaru was talking to him but what annoyed him more is seeing someone else also having the Sloth witch factor and another one he detected.
"Why are you so so so loved?! You contain my authority of Sloth! You contain the authority of Greed! Why?! The Sin Archbishop of Greed isn't dead. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?! Why are you so loved?! Both of you!"
"Man do you ever shut up?!"
Subaru attempted to use another invisible providence to try and land another hit on Petelguese yet this one was completely overpowered by a few unseen hands. Subaru figured this would happen alongside his body starting to be strained.
'Damn...my body is burning up. I overused the sloth witch factor.'
As Subaru thought this, he was easily punched away by one of Petelguese's unseen hands.
"Why are you both so loved?! Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? My brain trembles!"
As Petelguese was shouting this, the warrior looked at Subaru to see that he was completely weak at this point, having passed his limits. The warrior was at first hesitant since he has Petelguese right there, his actual chance to kill him yet he looked at the boy once again. As he looked very closely at him, he saw his entire face.
'Natsuki Subaru?'
With new questions being formed in his mind, his mind was set. He quickly brushed past the Sin Archbishop of Sloth in order to grab Subaru before starting to leave.
"Where are you two going?"
Petelguese said as he sent a barrage of unseen hands towards the two. The warrior just looked at Petelguese with complete hatred in his eyes. He slowly set Subaru down before standing proudly towards Sloth.
"You are going to die here, you bastard! I'm bringing hell on you!"
"Oh. You were looking for me to avenge the girl from that time, weren't you?" Petelguese said with a smile as the warrior managed to push back the unseen hands. "After twenty years of single-mindedly hating, loathing, abhorring, detesting, wearing you down, and you finally found me...However, reality is cruel. With that kind of power, it's almost impossible to reach my life. You're still "slothful", aren't you?"
The warrior was starting to get overpowered by the amount of unseen hands Petelguese was sending while also the warrior was getting angry at the things he was saying to him.
'I'll kill you, you fucking bastard! No matter what, I will kill you!'
"It was worth being beaten to see it."
"What?" Petelguese asked with a confused facial expression.
"Your habit of making petty jokes hasn't changed in 20 years, has it?"
The warrior quickly closed the gap between the two as he dodged many of the unseen hands before holding up his left prosthetic hand towards the madman.
He plunged his right hand which was still gripping the sword hilt, into the gap between the prosthetic hand to release the safety.
In the next moment, the prosthesis bent from the wrist, and the resistance popped out with a roaring explosion.
Subaru looked up as he heard the explosion, curious to see what was going on. As he looked up, he saw that Petelguese had been successfully stabbed by what looked to be a sharp metal rod.
'He...did it?'
Subaru was surprised by this while the warrior smiled as he said,
"This is...the end...I...Natsuki Subaru...have finally beaten you!"
Subaru looked closely at the warrior, finally seeing how this version of him looks fully. He was wearing Al's gear while also looking really buff and having a prosthetic arm.
'This version of me...really is more of a badass than the last me I saw...but this one is...filled with vengeance.'
Subaru managed to use the little strength he had to get back on his feet, watching his counterpart cut off Petelguese's head. As the Al looking Subaru managed to succeed in killing Petelguese, he took a moment to smile in victory before turning towards his young self.
He looked at him for a few seconds before approaching the boy. Once he closed in on the boy, he took a closer look and observed closely before asking,
"Are you real?"
"Yes, me. I'm real."
"Okay, then that leaves me with one question, why are you here? Did you time travel forward?...no, wait, why were you able to use that bastard's ability?"
As the older Subaru was questioning this, Subaru remembered something important.
"Older me, Petelguese isn't dead."
"What? The hell are you talking about?!"
"Petelguese is a spirit!"
The older Subaru's eyes widened when he heard this, understanding that the battle with the person he hates the most has really just begun. Subaru looked up as he saw an unseen hand heading towards them.
"Watch out!"
Subaru used all of his strength to shove his older self out of the way while also managing to avoid the unseen hand as well, albeit barely as he could feel the wind of the hand ruffling his jacket as it passed by. As the two had dodged this attack, they both looked at the direction the unseen hand came from, noticing a woman with red hair.
"You...really are a persistent bastard..."
"Death by Fingers."
"Fingers?" The Al looking Subaru said as he prepared his sword for battle.
"I am a "finger"! I am a rewarder of love! A faithful and diligent apostle who carries out trials and follows the guidance of love! Aah! Oh, you're slothful aren't you?"
Subaru looked at this new form of Petelguese with hate and disgust before turning towards his younger self to ask,
"How did you know he wasn't dead?"
"I'll tell you later...for now, we should get out of here."
"No. I need to beat him here and now."
"How do you plan to beat him then?" Subaru questioned, finding this version of him extremely stubborn.
"By killing him as many times as it takes!"
As the Al looking Subaru says this, he charges at Petelguese with his mind being filled with the deaths caused by the madman while also remembering the pain he had to suffer by seeing and knowing that everyone he cared about had been killed because of him.
Subaru looked at his counterpart, who was trying to close the gap between him and the finger despite having his trump card already being used and stuck in the old Petelgeuse's body..
'He is filled with so much hate...I can't blame him but he doesn't see that Petelguese won't fall for the same trick twice, not that he can even use it twice from how big that damn thing was. Even so...I have to help him!'
Subaru started to move despite his entire body being in pain, knowing that if he does nothing, his counterpart will surely die or end up with severe wounds.
He grabbed a couple of rocks nearby before using every ounce of strength to throw them directly at the finger of Petelguese, trying to distract the finger long enough for his counterpart to try and kill this finger.
The finger noticed that Subaru was trying to use rocks as distractions, prompting the finger to throw a large amount of unseen hands towards the boy.
"Oh no you don't!"
Older Subaru quickly cuts down the unseen hands before throwing his sword directly at the finger, hoping that his weapon could land the hit. Just as the sword was about to hit the finger, another unseen hand appeared to knock the weapon out of the way.
'Damn it!'
"Trying to kill my body once again, are we?! Not gonna happen! Now then, you both shall die by a finger!"
Both Subarus noticed the unseen hands beginning to go towards the two in massive waves, prompting the two to quickly try to think of a way to escape this situation.
'Damn it! I can't win like this! Not to mention I have no weapon now!' The older Subaru thought as he was quickly trying to think on what he could do to get himself and his younger self out of there.
'I can't die! I don't have return by death with me! And I doubt I'll be with this version of me when he loops!' Subaru thought in a panic, knowing that if his counterpart dies, the loop will be before he arrived and if he died, that would be the end of him. Just as it seemed like the two were going to die, the older Subaru shouts,
"Shamak!"
With one final chance and with a lot of luck, the older Subaru managed to create a powerful dark mist around him. This gave him the chance to avoid the unseen hands and to quickly go to protect Subaru. He shoved his younger counterpart out of the way, allowing the young version to be saved from the attack but in return the older version took the blow in his stead.
The older Subaru was sent flying into a tree and slamming into it with his body first, leading to a few of his ribs being damaged badly. Subaru slowly got up, having long since pushed past his limits from the overuse of Invisible Providence and all the running they had been doing. Once he reached the older Subaru's location, he helped him get up before telling him,
"We need to get out of here..."
"...N-No...this...is my chance...to kill him..."
"I understand your desire to kill him, but this isn't worth it at all. You need to live."
"..."
("Live...Love...you...")
The older Subaru had a momentary pause as he was reminded of the words from Rem, remembering her last wish to him, to stay alive. He looked at the direction of the mist from his shamak for a moment before turning up towards the night sky, hating that he had to retreat.
"Damn it all..."
The older Subaru nodded at his younger self, alerting him that he'll leave with him. Subaru nodded back before the two quickly started to walk as fast as they could towards the edge of the forest, hoping that they could escape the finger before it managed to catch up to them or find them.
As they were gaining some distance, they did notice some trees near them starting to explode as most of the unseen hands were thrown towards their direction.
"Do you believe you can escape me? How very slothful!"
"Damn you...Petelguese..."
Both older and younger Natsuki Subaru looked at the finger containing Petelguese's soul, seeing that he was preparing to finish them off.
"Seems like your twenty years of hating me have gone to waste~DESU!"
The older Subaru's eyes burned with fury as he remembered every ounce of hell he had to go through just to face Petelguese in person. He wouldn't let anything kill him, not until the Sin Archbishop of Sloth was taken care of.
"My hatred...the vengeance that burns in my soul will never die! I will kill you, Petelguese! Don't think for a second that you have the advantage!"
"Believe what you want...now die!"
Just as it truly seemed like the two Natsuki Subarus were done for, they suddenly had a portal appear underneath them, managing to take the two away from the area just in the nick of time. The moment the two Subarus had left, the portal closed and the unseen hands completely destroyed the entire area.
"Oh?" The finger looked at the destruction with interest, wanting to see if she did her job. As she moves the unseen hands away so she could see the end result, the finger begins to throw a tantrum. "Where are they?! Where are their corpses?! Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where?! Where?! Where?! Where?!"
Subaru was in a deep sleep, falling in what seemed to be a dark void.
'What am I...experiencing? Am I dead? No, I can't be dead. I still feel some life in me.'
Subaru thought as he started to analyze everything that happened prior to losing consciousness.
'Okay, so Petelguese was clearly strong, stronger than when I fought him. Either that or I'm just that lucky to have landed even a hit on him with my weaker sloth witch factor.'
As the boy was comparing his Invisible Providence to Petelguese's unseen hands, something important came to mind.
'Wait, Petelguese detected not only the sloth witch factor in me but also the greed witch factor...that might be a problem if he alerts the other Sin Archbishops of this world. My counterpart and I could barely survive one but any more would be too much. Fuck, Regulus alone almost took down Reinhard.'
As this was a concern Subaru had, he started to think about how he didn't receive any allies from the beginning like before.
'What the hell is that watching bastard up to? Honestly, he is a big pain in the ass.'
As this was on his thoughts, he started to see underneath his eyelids that something bright was starting to overwhelm the darkness he was covered by. This prompted him to open his eyes to end up finding himself in what seemed like the forest but it was not only daytime but he was actually in a different location.
He slowly started to get up only to feel his body completely burn from his sore and aching muscles.
'Damn! I pushed my body to the limit. I guess I shouldn't complain though, I'm still alive.'
"*Cough*"
"Hm?"
Subaru turned towards the coughing noise, seeing that it was his older self, still recovering from his injuries.
"Are you okay?" The boy asked, having some concern for his more mature and stronger looking self. The older Subaru stood silent for a moment before responding,
"I'll be alright...this won't kill me. Far from it."
"Don't push yourself too far, you are still human."
"Doesn't matter, that bastard will die." The older Subaru said as he managed to stand up despite his body hurting even worse than the Natsuki Subaru from a different world.
"You should be more careful. If you keep going off on suicide missions like that, you will get yourself killed."
"What would you know...?" The older Subaru paused for a second, something having popped on his mind. "Actually..."
He approached his younger counterpart before asking him one simple question,
"Who exactly are you?"
"What do you—?"
"While that bastard Petelguese isn't bothering us, we can actually speak without worry of death. So now talk. Who the hell are you?"
"I'm Natsuki Subaru!"
"And so am I but that doesn't—"
"You two are so annoying, in fact."
The two Natsuki Subarus paused as they heard the familiar voice of Beatrice. The older Subaru turned towards Beatrice with a serious facial expression, a bit surprised that she's in the forest with them before noticing that in the distance, he could make out the ruins of a hauntingly familiar building.
While Subaru was just happy to see her once again, even if it isn't his world's version, he knew what the ruined building near them was and what it meant for Beatrice to be out here with them instead of inside her library even in the ruined structure of the once beautiful Rosswal Mansion
"You two are honestly something else, I suppose. But first, who exactly are you and why do you look like him but back when I unfortunately met you twenty years ago? Secondly, why did you choose to fight a Sin Archbishop so close to the Mansion after he had already destroyed it once before, in fact?"
Author's Note:
Yup, this story is back and on Natsuki Subaru's birthday no less. For those who don't know, Aganau if is from the mobile game, Re:Zero Lost in Memories. If you wish to see the full story of it for yourself, it is on youtube so you can get context of what comes next. As for the ally of Subaru, I think many of you can guess who it is. Well, other than that, I want to thank Cloud Link Zero for the assistance with this chapter. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter.