Aganau Chapter 2: Broken People
"You two are honestly something else, I suppose. But first, who exactly are you and why do you look like him but back when I unfortunately met you twenty years ago?"
Subaru took a moment to think on this question, knowing that this isn't just Beatrice's question but also his counterpart's question regarding him.
"I mean...it's a bit complicated."
"A bit? You are talking about having a young version of me, that being you, co-existing with me twenty years into the future. That's a little more than complicated." The older Subaru added, finding this all too complicated.
"You might find it too complicated because you are a simpleton, in fact. For Betty, she can figure anything out, I suppose."
"Okay then, try to explain this." The older Subaru said with an annoyed tone of voice, annoyed at how the loli spirit was being a bit smug despite still having a blank facial expression.
"The only explanation Beako can conclude is that this one is a clone, a fake, in fact."
"Hold it, I'm not a fake." Subaru protested.
"Well then, that brings us back to how you are even here? There can't be two of us by some coincidence."
"Well, I am Natsuki Subaru but from a parallel timeline."
"Parallel timeline?" Beatrice questioned.
"Wait Wait Wait Wait. That's actually a thing?" The Older Subaru said, surprised that something like this could exist.
"Yup. Fourth world."
"Fourth? The hell, why are you even...no, wait, that makes a lot of sense."
"Explain!" Beatrice said as she was getting frustrated that she was suddenly left out of the conversation. Both Subarus looked at each other for a moment before the older version nodded. He turned towards Beatrice to explain,
"Think of it this way, there are worlds that share the same exact people, same exact places, almost the same exact history but with a few differences."
"Differences? Like?" Beatrice questioned which the older Subaru was curious to know what was the main difference with his counterpart and his.
Before Subaru could even answer the question, the loli spirit sensed something odd about the young Subaru she hadn't sensed before. She approached the boy in haste before tapping her hand towards his chest.
"Wait Beako, what are—?"
"Quiet."
"..."
The older Subaru and Subaru just watched as Beatrice used her powers to look at the young boy's gate, having sensed something within it. After a few seconds, she was able to detect the contract the young Natsuki Subaru had.
"...who are you contracted with...?"
"Hm, is that—?"
"Just answer the question!" Beatrice spoke with a sharp tone, wanting to know this answer as soon as possible. Subaru was silent for a few seconds before answering after having sighed.
"The one I'm contracted with is the great spirit, Beatrice."
Beatrice's eyes widened for a moment as she heard this, noticing that the contract she had detected in this Natsuki Subaru made sense now. She was stunned for a moment before tears were starting to be created.
"I-If you are contracted with...then are you..."
"I'm not that person."
"Huh?"
Beatrice was stunned by this. Subaru looked at Beatrice in the eyes, remembering that same look from the Beatrice of his world when she desperately wanted him to say that he was that person Echidna had told her would come for her.
Just as he was going to say something related to that promise that Beatrice had held on to, Subaru's body was suddenly in pain, causing him to collapse to the ground.
"hk!"
"Hey! What's wrong?!" The older Subaru said, noticing that his young counterpart was in immense pain. "Beatrice, what's going on with him?"
"..." Beatrice stood silent as she was processing the words that came out of the young Natsuki Subaru's mouth. The older Subaru noticed this and quickly got her attention by flicking her forehead with very little force.
"Hey! I need you to focus!"
"?! How dare you do that to me, I suppose!"
"You can question my younger self about having a contract with another spirit that is named Beatrice later, right now we need to keep him from dying."
"Don't tell me what to do!" Beatrice prepared to throw the older Subaru away only to control herself at the last minute. The two turned towards the young Subaru to see that he had passed out.
"Shit! I need to get him to Ferris, he will know what to do."
The older Subaru uses his prosthetic hand to pick up his counterpart before turning towards the direction of the capital, having an idea where he needs to go.
Just as he was going to go, he turns towards the little loli spirit to tell her,
"You don't have to accompany me. He has that bastard's weird hand ability and knew about him not being dead, so that would mean that he might have beaten him. This young me will be the key to finally killing Petelguese."
"..."
The older Subaru noticed the silent response the great spirit gave him, prompting him to believe that she would not join him. He started to walk with one final thing to say,
"Thanks for the save...Beako..."
As the older Subaru walked a few feet, he heard that someone was walking behind him. This prompted him to turn around, seeing that the little loli spirit was following him.
"Betty will go with you, I suppose."
"Hm. I'm a little surprised—"
"Don't get the wrong idea, I suppose. I'm not doing it for you. Betty just needs to know something from your stupid younger self."
"...fair enough."
The two started to walk towards the direction of the capital, both having many questions for the young Natsuki Subaru.
Subaru slowly opened his eyes as his body was no longer in pain.
'What the hell was that? Could it have been the pain for overusing the invisible providence? No, I would've had that happen during the fight. Then maybe could it be my gate? I haven't had Beako drain up some of my mana like the contract stated and it was broken to boot. Ferris said never to mess with broken gate and I can feel why now' He paused his thoughts for a moment as he noticed that he was no longer in the forest. 'Okay, so I'm at some sort of new location. I don't recognize the ceiling.'
Subaru stood sitting up in order to take a look around for a moment, trying to see where he is now. As he was looking, he noticed that there were a lot of beds in the room he was currently in.
'Am I in...some kind of hospital?'
"So, you've finally awoken, Subaru-kyun."
"Huh?" Subaru was stunned for a moment since he hadn't noticed anyone in the room until he turned towards his back side, seeing that he missed a spot.
Subaru had recognized the voice but the moment he looked at this person, he knew who it was.
"Felix."
"Natsuki Subaru-kyun. Good to see that you are nyow doing well."
"Where am I...? Also, why are you wearing a suit?"
"Hm? What do nyow mean?" Ferris asked with a puzzled facial expression.
"Nevermind...anyway, where am I?"
"Nyow are at the hospital. Subaru-kyun was in bad shape and nyower gate is broken."
As Felix finished saying this, he smacked the boy on the head.
"What was that for?"
"Do nyow know how dangerous nyower life is now that nyower gate's broken?! Subaru-kyun's such an idiot. Nyow and that other Subaru-kyun."
"Other Subaru...oh right! Where is my other self?"
"Outside. I told him to wait until nyow woke up. He and the little girl with him have a lot of questions for nyow."
"Figured as much." Subaru said as he sighed, feeling some relief that he gets to see Felix once again but also that Beatrice and his older counterpart are alright. Ferris sat next to Subaru with the chair that was nearby as he took this opportunity to ask questions of his own.
"How's this possible? Are you even Natsuki Subaru-kyun?"
"Of course I am! It's just that I'm not the same one as the older me."
"I know that! I'm just...I don't know how to process this."
"Nobody does but if it makes you feel any better, I'm a Natsuki Subaru from a different world."
"Different world? What are nyow talking about?" Felix asked with a confused facial expression. Subaru figured this would be the reaction, prompting him to explain the whole parallel worlds to the catboy.
After a minute or two of explaining, Ferris got up as he turned around to think about what he had heard, needing a moment to process everything. As he was processing this, Subaru was a bit curious on what could've happened to Felix Argyle in the twenty years.
"So, what happened to you, Felix?"
"What do you mean nyow?"
"Like what have you been doing in the past twenty years? How's Crusch or Wilhelm?"
"..." Felix just stood stiff as he heard what Subaru had asked him. The boy took notice of the catboy's silence, having a bad feeling.
"Felix? Are you okay?"
"..."
"Felix...?"
"...who...are those two you mentioned...?"
"What?" Subaru said with a surprised facial expression.
("Who...is Rem?")
("Who is Rem?")
("I have no younger sister.")
("Rem?")
Subaru was reminded of the moments where people had forgotten about Rem all because Felix questioned him about who Crusch and Wilhelm were. He knew that the catboy wasn't playing around since he was very serious when he questioned him.
As this was processing in his mind, he started to access his counterpart's memories, how he reacted when he learned about Crusch and Wilhelm being gone. This made the boy think back about what he had learned so far in his previous worlds.
'Crusch and Wilhelm were destined to be erased by the White Whale. This is already the third world where the two are gone...actually the fourth, considering my previous counterpart ran away to leave Crusch and her camp to their fate.'
A smile formed for a brief moment as the boy felt happy that in his world, he was able to prevent such a fate to the Crusch camp, having seen them as closest friends and respectful allies. As this smile slowly started to fade away, he got up as Felix began to speak once again.
"Tell me...who are those people you mentioned...?"
"Wilhelm van Astrea, the grandfather of Reinhard van Astrea. He is someone respectful, an amazing fighter despite his age, and someone I view highly and with a lot of respect."
"...okay, then what about the other person?"
"Crusch Karsten, one of the candidates of becoming the 42nd King of Lugnica. She's someone I would follow into battle despite being weak. A hard and respectful worker. And she's someone that was deeply special towards you, Ferris."
"..."
Felix couldn't help but have a strong headache, his mind trying to remember this person close to him. As he was in temporary pain, Subaru approached him and went to hug the catboy, wanting to help him.
Felix wasn't sure on how to react to this but for this time, he accepted Subaru's hug since it was genuine and comforting. The two hugged for a moment before the older Subaru and Beatrice both entered the room.
"Hey, Felix, is my younger self awake already?"
As he finished speaking, he looked to see his younger self standing next to Felix. He wasn't sure what was going on but he was relieved that his younger self's alright.
"Felix, is there anything wrong with my younger self?"
"Nothing physical, he just strained himself. But there is something about this Subaru-kyun you should know. His gate's broken."
The older Subaru was caught off guard by this since his gate was fine, having twenty years to keep his gate from being broken.
'Okay, so there are different things between the two of us, younger me. You beat that bastard but your gate is busted. Hm. That must be rough.'
"Is there anything that can be done about it?"
"No, nothing can be done."
"It's fine, older me. I've dealt with that problem for a little over a year now."
"How?" Beatrice questioned, knowing that there was no way that this Subaru could've found something that could've solved that particular issue. Subaru turned towards the loli spirit to answer with a calm expression.
"My contract with you."
Beatrice hid how she felt when she heard this once again, a version of her contracted with Natsuki Subaru.
It made her feel jealous since she wants to be contracted with that person, the one that'll free her from her everlasting contract with the Witch of Greed.
The older Subaru turned his attention towards his younger self to ask him,
"Mind if we speak for a moment, in private?"
"Um, sure. I assume that you have a lot of questions."
"I do. So does Beatrice here."
"Okay."
"Fe—" Before the older Subaru could even say the healer's name, he approached the older him to ask, "Can you join me for a moment? It will be quick."
"Is it important?" The older Subaru said to which his younger self took note of since Felix being serious was not something he saw often outside of his official duties.
"Don't be a jackass, my older self."
"...fine, I guess we can speak for a bit."
"..."
Felix didn't respond but started to lead the older Subaru towards a different room, one where they could speak in private. As the two were walking out, Subaru and Beatrice were both left in the room with the atmosphere being confusing.
Beatrice was filled with jealousy for her counterpart, wanting to be freed from the contract while Subaru could feel the urge to want to help this Beatrice like he helped the one he is contracted to.
'I can't leave her like this. If my Beako was barely holding on when I went to save her from Echidna's damn contract...this one must be in a worse state. I have to do something.'
Subaru resolved himself to once again save Beatrice from her despair yet before he had the chance to speak, she chose to start the conversation first with a simple question:
"Why? Why would Betty form a contract with you, I suppose?"
Subaru didn't find this question hard, if anything this felt like a perfect chance to speak about how she doesn't need to be bound to the contract she's currently upholding. He confidently looked at the loli spirit as he started to say:
"Because I—"
"Why would this other me even consider someone like you, I suppose?! Especially someone who isn't that person...!"
("I'm not that person.")
Beatrice shouted this out in frustration as the words Subaru had said back in the forest was still playing in her mind. Subaru figured this would happen again, considering how his world's Beatrice reacted when he said that.
"There is a lot I know, Beako that the other me does not. I am aware that you are contracted to protect the forbidden library until 'that person' arrives. I know that the one you contracted with was your mother, Echidna, the Witch of Greed."
"..."
"I also know that you've been trapped in that library for over four hundred years, meaning that you have been wanting this contract to end for quite some time now."
"...knowing this...would make you more than qualified to be that person."
"But I'm not that person, Beako. I'm just Natsuki Subaru."
"Then why in Od Laguna would any Betty choose you, I suppose?!" Beatrice said as the entire room was filled with a tense atmosphere. Subaru would be afraid normally since dying here would be a permanent dead end but having known Beatrice for over a year at this point made him positive that he can get through to her.
"I had asked your counterpart to choose me."
"Choose you? For what, in fact?!" Beatrice shouted.
"To either choose me or that person. What I wanted to prove to my Beako is that she doesn't need anybody just like you don't need anybody. I don't know what happened in this world, not completely, but I'm still trying to understand it all. You, however, have held out on your own for twenty additional years."
"What you're saying is that Betty broke the contract? How...how could she do that...?"
Subaru couldn't tell if Beatrice was made at his Beako for breaking the contract or if she was jealous that she was able to.
"Beako..."
"...just leave me alone, I suppose!"
Beatrice quickly ran out of the room as she wanted to be alone, having asked enough questions to come to a conclusion.
"No, wait!"
Subaru chased behind her, still wanting to speak more about her Beako. The two ran for a bit until they were stopped when they saw the older Subaru abruptly open a door while falling to the ground.
"Are you okay?" Subaru asked.
"...Nope."
"Don't worry Subaru-kyun, I'll make you feel better." The two Subarus and Beatrice turned towards Felix, seeing him go through the door that the older Subaru broke through. Subaru and Beatrice took a step back as they sensed a strong malice and resentment on the catboy.
"Felix, what's going on?" Subaru said.
"Oh nothing Subaru-kyun." Felix spoke with a calm and happy tone, which in turn with his very angry face, meant that he was beyond pissed.
'The hell did my older self do to piss Felix off?'
Just as he thought this, he felt a sudden hit of memories.
"What is it you wanted to talk about, Felix?" The older Subaru said as he was annoyed that Felix took him far away from his young counterpart. Felix looked at the older Natsuki Subaru with dead eyes at first, still processing what he learned from the young version of Natsuki Subaru. After a few seconds of silence, he turned around to tell the older Subaru:
"Please have a seat."
"...okay...?"
The Older Subaru goes towards the seat next to the catboy, a bit curious now on what exactly Felix wants to talk about. As he sat down, Felix started to say:
"There's been a hole in my heart...something that I felt I was missing...something that I just don't understand. But then when I talked to the young Subaru-kyun, he told me that there was someone named Crusch Karsten. That this person was important to me, someone special towards me."
"..."
"I know nyow probably don't care but I want to ask something, do you remember this special person named Crusch Karsten?"
"..." The Older Subaru stood silent since he wasn't sure on how to handle this, especially since he had been avoiding this conversation for years and on how much of a toll it took on Felix when Crusch was suddenly erased from everyone's mind. Felix took this silence as an answer.
"Figured. Maybe something happened in the past for all of us to just...forget about this special person..."
The room grew much melancholy which prompted Felix to get up and start making his way towards the door.
"Sorry to waste your time, Subaru-kyun."
"...I know."
"Hm?"
Felix suddenly stopped; a bit uncertain with what the older Subaru meant by what he said. He turned towards him as he continued to speak:
"I know who Crusch Karsten is. I have seen you two together. I know. Hell...I'm probably the only one who knows."
"..."
Felix took a moment to process what he had heard, having a stern look at the older Subaru, questioning why now of all times would he reveal such a thing.
"Suppose...Let's say it's true, okay? For the past ten years, whenever Subaru has come here with a serious injury, I've been fixing it for him, right?" Felix started to walk over to Subaru and grabbed his elbow-less left arm. "You're telling me you've known about this since I took care of your left arm? All this time, you knew I was in pain, and you didn't tell me?"
Subaru felt from the point where Felix's hand was touching him, a disgusting feeling spread around his body, causing him pain. It felt as if he was burning in some flames, prompting him to try and escape Felix's grasp only to realize that he couldn't.
"AAAGGGGHHHH!"
"Hey, do you want to answer me?" Felix looked at the older Subaru with hatred, disdain, disgust, and pure anger. Older Subaru was able to see Felix's expression, seeing that depending on his answer Felix would either spare him or kill him.
"D-Damn it...I thought talking about it would only cause you more pain or make you think I was crazy!"
"...the fact that I learned it from your younger self than you; tells me a lot about this disgusting you I'm seeing!" Felix yelled out with more anger showing in his eyes. "Besides that, I don't know why you're telling me this now!"
Before this little torture session could continue, Older Subaru fell off his bed which also caused Felix to fall with him, freeing Subaru from the pain from increasing but leaving his body in complete pain.
'I have to get out of here! He's going to kill me!'
With all the ounce of strength he had, he jumped up and broke the door down.
Subaru felt a massive headache as he saw what had happened, making it much easier to understand why Felix would be hellbent in killing the Older Subaru.
"Felix, calm down—"
"I won't calm down! Nya!"
Felix was prepared to do some more damage to the older Subaru only for the younger Natsuki Subaru to finally intervene. He grabbed the catboy by the right arm with a tight grip which managed to catch the attention of Felix.
"What are nyow doing?!"
"Making sure you don't do something that you'll regret. You're a healer and you never, ever take a life you don't have to."
"I won't regret this, Subaru-kyun. After years of leaving me in the dark, leaving me to my suffering and confusion, this disgusting bastard deserves to suffer."
Subaru continued to have a serious facial expression while inside, he felt a bit intimidated by this display of anger.
"I get that you're angry, hell I would be angry too but I need you to calm down. For the sake of Crusch-sama."
"..."
Every time he heard that name, Felix felt like it was familiar and comforting despite not knowing this 'Crusch'. He continued to stare at the older Subaru with utter hatred for a moment before finally managing to calm down.
"...please let go of my arm, Subaru-kyun."
"Okay."
Subaru listened to Felix's request as he let go of the catboy's arm. Once he did this, Felix turned towards a hallway in order to go back to his duties.
"I need to go...we will talk later, young Natsuki Subaru-kyun."
With that being the last thing Felix said, he left off to go check on the other patients. Once he left the three, Subaru turned towards his older self while saying to him,
"What the hell were you thinking?"
"...I didn't want him to be in more pain like he is now. We've all suffered enough at this point."
"That's not even what I'm referring to. Why did you tell him right now? What were you trying to gain from doing this?!"
"...I need his help."
"With what?" Subaru questioned.
"...to kill that bastard. Kill Petelguese."
Subaru wasn't all too surprised by this response, knowing the amount of hatred his counterpart has towards the Sin Archbishop of Sloth.
He just stood looking at his counterpart for a moment before responding to what his counterpart had said:
"I get you want that bastard dead, hell I'm still willing to help you kill him despite your bad choices. But still, why even tell Felix that you knew about Crusch? You could've kept silent and just let him think you forgot about her like everyone else did."
"I wanted his help. I thought being honest about that would've been a good first step after all this time."
"He would've helped if you just genuinely asked for his help. What you did was a dick move. You don't even know how he felt learning that someone he trusted had been hiding such a secret from him for twenty years."
"I don't need your opinion on this, young me. I did what I felt like I had to do." The older Subaru said before starting to get up, feeling his body back to normal after a couple of minutes. Once he was standing up, he turned around towards the direction of the exit. "If you want to join me, then tell Felix to meet me at the exit of the capital. I'll wait until sunset. After that, I'll be leaving."
The Older Subaru started to make his way towards the exit. Before he could leave, Subaru quickly said:
"Wait, we need to go find Reinhard."
"...why is that? Why do we need that stuck up jerk?"
"Hold on, Reinhard isn't a jerk and you know that."
"...why do we need him then?" The older Subaru repeated with an annoyed tone of voice.
"Petelguese mentioned that I also had the Greed witch factor. If he goes to the Archbishop of Greed, Regulus Corneas, that will attract him like flies to honey since that bastard can't tolerate someone being as special as he is. With the Sin Archbishop of Greed added to the mix, we will surely lose."
'Great, another Sin Archbishop. As if I need another psychopath to deal with.' The older Subaru thought, knowing that another one like Petelguese would surely make things much more complicated. He stood silent for a moment before continuing to walk away.
"Where are you—?"
"We don't need that guy. If you really want to go see him, you can find him yourself. I believe that we can still beat Petelguese on our own. And should that Sin Archbishop of Greed get involved, he will die too."
"Are you stupid? If that annoying bastard, Regulus, gets involved then we stand no chance against him!"
"Doesn't matter. So long as Petelguese dies, nothing else will matter."
As the older Subaru said this, he continued to walk away until he finally left. Subaru was a bit frustrated by his older self, seeing just how stubborn he's being. He closed his eyes as he took a deep breath. Once he was calmed down, he turned towards Beatrice, noticing that she was still by his side.
"Hey, Beako, could you join me in finding Reinhard?"
"..."
"...please?"
"..."
Subaru took this silence as a no though he wasn't surprised. Why would this world's Beatrice would join him if he did not give her a better reason to do so? She has no obligation to do this and he figures that she's still mad that he is contracted with a version of her.
As the boy started to walk towards the exit himself, he heard Beatrice's footsteps following him. He turned around to see that she was following her. She kept a blank facial expression while she explains her actions to him:
"I'm not doing this for your sake, I suppose. Betty just wants to know why another version of me would even bother to make a contract with someone like you."
"So you are just going to monitor my every movement then?" The boy asked with a curious tone of voice. Beatrice didn't answer this as she waited for him to continue.
Subaru figured that he would know this answer a little later. He turned back towards the exit and quickly started to make his way outside of the hospital with his goal being to find Reinhard van Astrea.
'Okay Reinhard...what have you been up to for the past twenty years?'