A/N: Hi everyone! Happy Fourth of July if you celebrate. Over the weekend, I met the one and only David Yost at Comic con! We chatted and I told him about the last conversation I had with JDF. I made him cry lol we cried together and he was so sweet. I only have two left and one of those is Amy Jo Johnson, Miss Little Kimberly herself.
Anyway, here is our next chapter! Please let me know if you're enjoying it. :)
Chapter Fifteen
Good-bye to You
My head was still spinning from the conversation I had with Tommy when I made it back to my tour bus. Tristan didn't seem at all phased and was talking like normal when we got there. He did ask me if I wanted him to hang out for a bit but I told him I was exhausted. He bought it, giving me a kiss before heading to the band's bus. I climbed onto my bus, shutting and locking the door before collapsing on the stairs in a sobbing heap.
I didn't even know why I was crying. Was it from the lost time I had been robbed of now that I knew that Tommy wanted to be with me that day? Or was it the fact that it seemed like he still wanted to be with me yet I had a boyfriend and a career that would keep me from him? I couldn't place the reasoning but I every time I closed my eyes, I could see Tommy's face floating in front of mine. Again, I had made things more complicated just by being in Tommy's presence for too long. It was like we had an expiration date on how long we were allowed to breathe the same air before we just caused damage to everyone else in the nearby vicinity.
I climbed up the stairs after regaining some of my composure and put the flowers in some water. I changed my clothes, pulling on sweats and a hoodie before curling up on the bed in my bedroom. I thought about calling Trini and telling her what happened but I didn't want to wake her at such a late hour. I wondered if Shayna was still awake but I didn't move for my cell. Instead, I hugged my pillow to my chest and thought about Tommy. If he had left Kat that day, we could be married by now. We could have a family. I felt cheated out of happiness and had no idea who to be mad at. I settled on myself, wishing I had just told him how I felt that day.
The combination of crying and two days of little sleep worked enough to knock me out for a couple of hours. I woke up a little bit before seven when the sounds of our road crew could be heard outside, making sure everything was loaded up on the buses. I laid there, looking over at the flowers Tommy and the boys had given me. I thought about leaving, telling the label and Tristan I couldn't do it anymore and just staying here. I knew I couldn't though. I was signed into a contract and Tristan had done nothing to deserve that. I suddenly realized what Tommy felt that day.
I pulled on a pair of jeans and kept my hoodie on before pulling my hair back into a ponytail. I was hoping I could talk to Tommy before the boys woke up. I was tying up my sneakers when there was a knock on my bus door. Standing, I walked over and opened it. There, I found Billy, Xander, and Ethan standing there.
"Morning!" They said cheerfully. Behind them, I saw Shyana talking to Tommy a few feet away.
"Well isn't this a surprise." I said, smiling. I stepped down, closing the door behind me.
"We figured we would send you off with a proper good-bye before you left." Billy said.
"Where are you going next?" Xander asked as Shayna and Tommy walked over to join our group.
"San Francisco then I'll be in Seattle." I replied. He frowned.
"When are we going to see you again?"
"She's a busy lady, Xander." Tommy said, putting a hand on Xander's shoulder. "I'm sure Kim will be around to visit when she gets the chance."
"Yeah. I promise." I smiled at Xander, giving him a wink. He stepped forward, giving me a tight hug. I was surprised but returned it. When he pulled away, I turned to Ethan. "You better keep working on your guitar skills. I'll bring you on the road with me."
"Really?" He asked.
"Let's finish school first and we'll talk." I teased. He nodded, his ears turning pink. "But you keep working on what you want to do. I'm just a phone call away if you ever have any questions."
"Okay." He said.
"You boys want a tour of the bus?" Shayna asked, looking at Ethan and Xander. They nodded and she opened the door, leading the kids up the stairs. This left me with Billy and Tommy.
"It's been good seeing you again." Billy said, giving me a hug.
"It has. Thank you for letting me stay with you, Billy. I appreciate it."
"No problem. I got tickets for my Vegas show for you two, Trini, Jase and Zack. I better see you there for the weekend."
"We'll be there." Tommy said, smiling at me.
"I'm glad." I replied, returning the gesture.
"If you don't mind, I'm going to check out your living quarters as well." Billy said, stepping around me to climb up the stairs.
"You want the tour too?" I asked, pointing at the bus. Tommy shook his head, taking a step closer to me.
"I'd rather be right here." He replied.
"Tommy, I don't know what to say about last night." I said softly.
"Say nothing." I looked at him confused. "I don't want to talk about it anymore before you're about to leave. I think it's something we should table for now."
"What do you mean?" I asked. He stepped even closer, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
"Guess you'll have to find out in Vegas." He winked as everyone filed out of the bus. I stepped back, not wanting anyone to think anything was happening. They were chattering anyway, the only one who seemed to have noticed anything was Shayna who looked between Tommy and I with a raised eyebrow.
"Well, I think you're getting ready to ship out." Shayna said, pointing at my bus driver, Hank, who was walking towards us from the hotel.
"Yeah. It's about that time." I replied. She hugged me quickly, giving me a tight squeeze.
"I'll be in touch later today. I don't think I'll see you again until your show in Vegas so try to behave yourself."
"I'll do my best." There were more hugs as I said my goodbyes. Tommy hung back though, allowing the boys and I to talk for a minute. I gave Billy another hug and a kiss on the check, telling him to keep in touch. When Tommy was the last one left, I gave him a quick hug.
"I'll see you in a month." I said. "But you have my number if you want to talk."
"I'll call you." He said, squeezing my hand as he let me go. "Good luck out on the road. I'm just a call away too if you need someone to talk to."
"I know." I gave him a smirk before I turned towards the bus. I climbed up the bottom step and turned to look at them. "You boys listen to Tommy. Don't make me have to come back here to kick your butts." I pointed at the two of them. "But make sure he behaves himself too."
"Oh, for sure." Xander said, nodding. My chest hurt as I heard the driver start the engine of the bus. It was really time to go. I locked eyes with Tommy and I saw that he had a sadness to him.
'Bye' he mouthed, raising his hand to wave at me. I gave him a watery smile.
"Bye." I said, fighting back the tears. I climbed up the steps, walking over to the window that was closest to them. The group took a step back as I moved the blinds so I could see them. The windows were tinted so I wasn't sure if they could see me or not. I heard the air brakes disengage as the bus slowly rolled forward. I fought myself from hopping off the bus and running to Tommy. I knew if I did that, things would be more complicated than ever. Instead, I put my hand on the window and watched as they rolled by, Tommy's eyes never leaving the direction I was in until I couldn't see him anymore.
Five hours later, the bus rolled into the parking lot of the San Francisco Civic Center. I had tucked myself away in my room after leaving Pasadena to cry in private. I wanted to call Tommy and tell him that I had made a mistake by leaving but I knew I couldn't do that now. Instead, I got up and planned what I'd wear that night on stage. 20,000 fans were coming to see me tonight and they deserved to have the best version of myself I could give to them right now. I showered quickly before changing and climbing off the bus which was parked behind the venue. Security led me into the back door and showed me where I needed to go since it was my first time being here.
The concert went off without any issues. The crowd was electric and I had a good time performing on stage. I brought a little girl up on the stage who couldn't be more than 7 years old to help sing one of my songs. It seemed to really bring up the energy in the room and by the encores, everyone was on their feet chanting my name as I walked off the stage. It made me feel like my skin was buzzing from the excitement and that I could cartwheel around the whole building. Given my gymnastics training, I probably could. Instead, I channeled it into calling Trini. She didn't answer but I left her a voicemail, asking her to give me a call back when she got it.
Once all the fans were out of the venue, the road crew got to work breaking everything down and packing up. I walked out on the stage, watching them load my guitars up in their cases so they could be brought out to the truck. That's when I saw that Tristan was sitting on the edge of the stage with his acoustic guitar in hand. His feet were dangling off the side of the stage as he strummed a few chords on the strings. I bit my lip, questioning if I should talk to him. As I hesitated though, he turned his head and saw that I was standing there.
"Hey." He said, giving me a smile. "Great show tonight."
"Thanks. You and the guys did great." I replied, stepping towards him. "You working on something?"
"Just that song we were working on a couple weeks ago. I can feel the melody there somewhere but the rift is catching me up. I figured this would be as good of a spot as any to work on it."
"Probably quieter than the bus." I said. He nodded.
"The guys can be a bit loud but I just feel more creative here after the show." I walked over and sat next to him on the stage. This was the version of Tristan that I liked the best. He really was gifted on the guitar and he helped me a lot when it came to writing my songs. As I looked at him though, I felt like a kid looking at a toy that wasn't new any more. I wanted to chalk it up to the long day but I knew it was because of my feelings for Tommy. Tristan might be a good guy but he was not Tommy.
"I hear that." I said softly.
"So…I know you've had a lot going on these past couple of days but did you think about what I said?"
"About what?"
"Moving in together." He answered, looking at me confused.
"Oh! That." I said, looking down at my hands. "Tristan, I really did think about it a lot while I've been here. Honestly, I just don't think we're at that spot in our relationship yet."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I mean it's not like we're engaged or anything. I feel like moving in together is something that comes when the relationship is more committed than ours is right now. Not that I don't think we will be there someday. I just don't know if we are now."
"So, you don't think we're at that level yet?" He asked. I nodded.
"Yeah. I didn't want to hurt your feelings or anything. I just don't think we're ready for that step yet. Plus we're on the road so much as it is. I think it's something we could discuss if anything changes though."
"Yeah. Alright." He said, nodding. "I think I understand."
"Good." Leaning in, I gave him a kiss on the cheek before I stood up.
"Your friends are coming to our Vegas gig, right?" He asked. I paused, looking at him as I tried to gauge what the question was for.
"I think so." I responded. "I know Billy and Tommy are going to be there at least."
"They seemed pretty cool. Those kids were awesome. The older one really loved being on stage with you. And the little one was super smart for his age. Their Dad did a great job raising them."
"He really did." I nodded.
"Tommy seems like a good guy. I'm glad I was able to meet a few of your friends for once. I bet you're excited about seeing more of them in a few weeks."
"I am. More of my friends will be there too so I can't wait for you to meet them as well."
"I'm looking forward to that too. It is Vegas so anything could happen."
"Let's hope not."
I was changing into my pajamas when my cell phone started ringing. Pulling a hoodie on, I walked over to the end table where it was and saw that Trini's name was on the screen. I picked up the phone and answered it, bringing it to my ear. "Hey, Trini."
"Hey! Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was helping Jason with something. How were your first two shows?"
"Great! Last night was so much fun with the boys here. I wish you could have been here to see it. Have you thought about the trip out to Vegas?" I heard her sigh.
"Jason surprised me by calling my work and requesting it off without me knowing. We both got it approved. Seems like we will be there."
"That's great! I can't wait to spend the weekend with you guys. Billy and Tommy are coming for sure. Could you see if Zack is in for me and let me know? I can start getting the hotel reservations planned out."
"Sure." She said, sounding less than enthused.
"You okay?" I asked, sitting on the edge of my bed. She had the same tone to her voice as she did the last time I had seen her. "I mean, if you don't think now is a good time for you to take off work, I can get tickets for a different show and make arrangements to fly just you and Jason out."
"No. It's fine. He's really looking forward to it now so I don't think telling him anything different will be a good idea. Guess the Power Rangers are going to Vegas."