Chapter 30: Bent…
Yasui wasn't sure what woke him up. Maybe it was the dull throb he felt throughout his whole body with every heartbeat, maybe it was the beeping of some machine near his head, or maybe it was the tube in his nose. But slowly, Yasui became aware of his surroundings. He tried to crack his eyes open, but only succeeded in getting his left eye open the tiniest crack. He attempted to move but couldn't seem to. Immediately panic set in.
(Am I paralyzed?!)
But he could still feel everything. He knew that for sure because he was in a decent bit of pain. He just couldn't seem to move anything. He felt so groggy and weak he couldn't even twitch a finger. He didn't know where he was, or what time it was, or what was going on. Everything was a bit of a blur. He remembered having a strange dream. A dream about a river and a pretty lady. She said he had gotten hurt. But… he didn't know how. His mind felt like it was full of glue. Eventually, his mind slipped back into darkness.
He next awoke when he felt a sharp pinch in the crook of his arm. His consciousness swam to awareness but he kept his eyes shut. He heard voices above him.
"—idea when he will be waking up? His visitors keep pestering me for updates."
"Not really. We're keeping him sedated for now until the swelling has gone down more. But hopefully we're going to stop the sedatives soon. That's if his scan goes well today. After that we'll just give him some pain killers."
There was a brief pause before the voice spoke again.
"Alright. That should be enough. His white blood cell count was a bit high yesterday, so we'll need to take samples every once in a while in case he has an infection. If so we'll have to start antibiotics. I'll let you do the next draw. Get some practice on a patient who won't squirm."
Cold dread filled Yasui as he heard this. Blood draws meant needles. He hated needles. Specifically, he had an intense hatred for anything that stuck under his skin. Splinters, bee stings, anything like that set his fur on end. Just the thought of something getting stuck under his skin and him not being able to take it out was enough to make him feel faint. And the fact that they had said they were sedating him meant he probably had an IV. Which meant there was a needle in him right now, just sitting there. And he couldn't get it out.
"Huh, that's weird."
"What is?"
"His heart rate just skyrocketed."
"Do we need a crash cart?"
"It's not too high yet, just weirdly high for somebody in a coma."
"Could he be having a dream?"
"Maybe… which means that the sedatives might be wearing off. Increase the dosage a bit, just until we can get him started on morphine."
Yasui did not return to unconsciousness. But he remained unable to move. It was maddening. He could hear the clock slowly ticking on the wall, the occasional footsteps of somebody walking past. The incessant beeping of the machines. The drip drip drip of something to his right. The hum of fluorescent lights. He must be in a hospital. But he wasn't sure what was wrong with him. If he stayed like this any longer he would go mad. This was torture. The seconds slowly crawled by with the only thing he could do to distract himself being counting them.
One minute.
Thirty minutes.
One hour.
Two hours.
Three hours.
The door opened again. He heard a wonderful sound. A familiar female voice, Miss Diana.
"How is he, nurse?"
"Still the same as before. But we're hopefully taking him off sedatives soon, so he could wake up any day now."
(I'm awake! Please! Help me! Notice that I'm awake! I can't take it anymore!)
He tried to move, to even twitch a muscle, but he couldn't. He howled with frustration on the inside as he heard movement around him. The other voice who was called "nurse" spoke.
"Well you know where to find me if you need anything."
"Yes, thank you."
The door closed again, and silence returned. Yasui was terrified that he would have to go back to counting the seconds to occupy his mind, but he felt a warm hand on his cheek.
"Good morning, Yasui. I hope you're having good dreams."
It was like having a life rope thrown to him as he drowned. He internally pleaded for her to please keep talking. He just wanted to have anything to break the mind-numbing monotony of the last three hours. He heard a chair scrape the ground to his right and a sigh.
"I don't know if this is helping, but it's the only thing I can do. Even if you can't hear me, if there's a chance my talking to you will wake you up sooner I'll talk my throat raw. So… what should I talk about?"
There was a pause.
"Well… I've told you all about what I've been up to recently, so I guess I can tell you some stories about my past. Let's start… with my childhood."
Yasui hung on every word. She could have been explaining how toilet paper was made for all he cared. But he was treated to something he had been curious about for a while. He heard the chair squeak as she adjusted herself before continuing.
"Well… I don't remember much about my early years. Only that I never saw my parents much. They were both busy with work, so I was raised by a nanny. She's the one who suggested I write down things I wanted to do when I got older. It started because my parents wouldn't let us leave our property. My father was dreadfully strict, and forbade us from going to a park for a picnic like I wanted to. I told my nanny that it wasn't fair. She said that I should write myself a reminder so when I was older I could go on the picnic. So she bought me a notebook and taught me to write in it."
"Other than that, I don't remember much until I was in elementary school. I remember being so excited for school, because I'd finally have some other children to play with. But my father insisted that I needed to behave in a way that was 'befitting the stature and pride of the family.' And I wanted to make him proud of me, so I did as he said. I didn't behave in the childish ways my peers did. I was diligent in my studies, I attended cram school, and I went to the extra curricular activities my parents approved of. Of course, I only ever saw them for breakfast once or twice a week. But I made sure to be the best I could be. Because I was going to take over the family business some day, and I needed to be perfect."
He felt her hands wrapped around his right hand.
"That's one of the reasons I was so… drawn to you. I knew what it was like to have no friends as a child and to constantly feel the need to meet your parents expectations. I saw myself in you as you talked about needing to do well in school to make your parents proud of you. And I wanted to be sure you didn't make the same mistakes I did and forget to live your life."
There was a pause before she sniffed.
"And look at you now. You have so many friends that care about you, and you've done so much. I'm sure your parents are proud of you, because I am."
Yasui was so touched to hear those words. He wanted to let her know how much it meant for her to say that. But unfortunately he couldn't. So instead he listened intently as she told him several stories from her past. About a spelling competition she had won, about a girl who had made fun of her for being boring, and about a boy she had liked but who had called her a snob.
She fell silent after a while and turned on the television. The steady drone of news from the tv was not as pleasant as her stories, but it beat the silence. Yasui wasn't sure what time it was, but he assumed it was close to noon when a nurse came in and said that they needed to draw some blood and run some tests. Diana responded that she could go get some lunch and would be here when they brought him back.
Yasui vaguely felt as his bed moved. The sounds of voices and footsteps surrounded him until he heard a ding. They moved forward and then there was a hum followed by another ding. Probably an elevator. His journey continued until he was somewhere very quiet. He heard activity around him before suddenly a deep humming noise came from all around. This continued for a few minutes, before stopping. Then he was moved again. When they stopped, he heard the same nurses from before.
"Alright, time to draw some blood. Here you go… now, get started."
Yasui felt something damp on his right arm before experiencing a sharp pinch. This was followed by a muttered curse and another pinch. The other voice spoke again.
"Slow down. You're missing the vein. If you need to dilate it, just tap with your fingers."
"I know, this kid is just pretty reedy is all."
"Yeah he's scrawny, but he survived a pretty harsh thrashing from a much larger animal with relatively mild injuries compared to what we expected. Just slow down and try again."
Yasu felt a few taps on the crook of his arm before another pinch. This time he felt a bizarre cold sensation and heard the voice speak again.
"Good, you got there in the end. It just takes practice."
"I'll keep at it."
There was a brief delay before the voice who had drawn his blood spoke.
"I wonder if he'll have extreme scaring, or if they'll fade a bit."
"Well, I'm not sure. He'll definitely have another replantation scar to match his right shoulder, but as for the other ones only time will tell. I wouldn't be surprised though."
"And his eye?"
"Time will tell, but it looked better than before."
Yasui knew if he thought about these comments too much he'd drive himself insane. So he just pushed them out of his mind. There wasn't anything he could really do about it now, so he should just focus on relaxing. Yasui really wanted to know when he'd be able to move again. His limbs were beginning to feel a bit less numb, but his entire body still felt like it was made of lead. He sat in silence for a while until the door opened and he heard Miss Diana.
"I'm back. The food in the cafeteria here is pretty mediocre, but it's not dreadful."
Yasui heard her pacing the room a bit, and wondered what she was doing. He tried to open his eyes again, but only succeeded in cracking open his left eye the slightest bit. All he could see was a faint blur before his heavy eyelid closed again. He wished whatever was making him feel so weak and sluggish would go away already. He wanted to move again.
Time seemed to blur, and he was becoming painfully aware of how thirsty he was. His mouth felt puffy and gritty, and he desperately wanted to lick his dry, chapped lips. He just did his best to ignore it as he waited for anything to happen. He wasn't sure how long he waited until the door opened again.
"Hello, Miss Diana."
"Shinrai. How are you today?"
"I'm doing fine. You?"
"Still going stir crazy here. I hope he wakes up soon."
(I am awake. I just can't seem to move.)
Yasui desperately tried to speak, but only a slight murmur came from his swollen tongue. They talked for a bit before there was a knock at the door. It opened and a very cheerful voice said,
"Hello! How's everyone doing today? Any changes?"
Shinrai spoke.
"No, Yufine. Nothing has changed. And I'm doing fine. Are the other girls in your club here too?"
"Mhm, we decided to drop by on our way to get some groceries for club stuff. We made a card for Yasui."
A babble of voices erupted as Yasui assumed the rest of the Cooking Club entered the room and began speaking to both Diana and Shinrai. Yasui was only able to catch snippets of conversation and was getting frustrated that he still couldn't seem to move. He was thirsty and tired of not being able to do anything. He felt an unpleasant pain in his tail as something heavy was placed on it. He tried to crack his eye open but still couldn't make it out. He tried to speak.
"….tail."
The conversation kept on going. His mouth was so dry his voice was barely a whisper. He tried again.
"My…. Tail."
From his left he heard the somewhat familiar voice of Maihime.
"Oh, Yufine. You set those books on Yasui's tail. He wants you to take them off."
Yufine replied,
"What was that?"
"Yasui wants you to get those books off his tail."
The room went silent. Shinrai spoke.
"W-what? How do you know…."
"Because he just said so. Listen."
The room fell as silent as a grave. Yasui summoned as much strength as he could.
"Need…. Water…."
Immediately there was an explosion of conversation. Yufine went charging out of the room for a nurse while Yasui was accosted by everyone talking at once to him. His head felt like it was going to explode as everyone shrieked and chattered. It was horrible. It actually hurt after the silence of before, especially given everything already hurt a bit. There was an ominous loud beeping sound that came from one of the machines and Yasui heard a nurse yell for everyone to leave. The room fell silent except for the beeping of the machine until eventually that too stopped. The nurse spoke.
"Yasui? Can you hear me?"
Yasui croaked.
"Yes…."
"Are you in pain right now?"
Yasui tried to speak but his tongue seemed to stick to the roof of his mouth. He needed water. It was unbearable.
"W-water…."
"I'll get you some water. Here, drink it nice and slow now."
Yasui desperately accepted the small trickle of water she poured into his mouth. His poor tongue still felt like sandpaper. He gasped.
"More… please…."
In small trickles, she gave him water until he no longer felt like he was dying in the middle of a desert. He weakly licked his chapped lips and mumbled.
"Thanks."
"You're welcome. Now tell me, are you in any pain right now?"
"…A little."
"Can you tell me how you feel?"
"…Heavy. I can't… move."
"That's probably the sedatives still. We only just took you off of them."
"I heard…. I woke up… earlier today. I just couldn't… move. It was… the first time you took blood. When… my heart… went too fast."
There was a pause before the nurse said.
"That's… odd. You shouldn't have been able to be awake then. We had you on a lot of sedatives. You might be resilient to some of the sedatives and painkillers we use. I'll have to confer with your doctor. But, besides that, I need to run a few tests. Do you think you can handle that?"
Yasui worked his mouth a bit. It was still hard to talk well, just because everything felt dull and heavy. But he grunted.
"Yes."
"Okay. Can you tell me your name?"
"Yasui."
"Perfect. How old are you?"
"I'm… sixteen."
"Do you know what day it is?"
"No."
"What's the last thing you remember before waking up here?"
"I was… at school. I went into… town to get a snack… and… that's… I don't know what happened…."
"That's fine. Don't push yourself. Do you know where you are?"
"A… hospital."
"This is Saint Bernard General Hospital. Now, can you tell me what five plus twenty six is?"
"…Thirty-one."
"Okay. What's nine multiplied by seven?"
"Uh… s-sixty… three."
"Can you count backwards from ten for me?"
"Ten… nine… eight… seven… six…."
"That's very good. Now, does your left eye hurt? Can you open it?"
Yasui slowly pushed it open a bit, but couldn't open it all the way.
"It just feels… droopy."
"May I open it to check your eye?"
"Okay."
Pain filled Yasui's eye as bright light flooded his vision. It took a while for him to adjust, but when his vision normalized he saw a female swan sitting to his left. She tipped her head as she held his eyelid open and slowly shone a light into it.
"Okay, follow the light with your eye."
She moved it from left to right, then up and down. Finally she let his eye close once more.
"These are some promising signs."
"What… were you checking?"
She hesitated before explaining.
"You suffered a serious injury to your head. I was trying to see if your brain suffered any damage. But so far it seems you're doing fine."
"What… else is wrong… with me."
She hesitated and shook her head.
"I'll let your doctor fill you in on all the details, he'll be able to give you a full rundown."
"Is there… something wrong… with my eyes?"
She paused before delicately saying,
"Your left eye is probably just droopy from the sedatives. However your right eye was damaged and is covered in a bandage."
"Will it… be okay?"
"We hope so, but we just have to see how it heals. Now, let me go talk to your friends quickly and then you can say hello to all of them. I'll tilt your bed a bit to help you see."
Yasui heard a quiet humming noise and felt the bed move. He still felt really weird, but he seemed to be feeling a bit more normal with each passing minute. At least, he was beginning to feel like he could move a bit. It was a full five minutes before everyone came back into the room. They all crowded around the bed and stared down at Yasui. Yasui looked up at them through a half-lidded eye. Yufine was the first to speak.
"How do you feel?"
"Bad…."
"Does it hurt?"
"Does what hurt?"
"Well… whatever hurts."
"I feel… sore. And my body feels… heavy."
Maihime chimed in.
"You look pretty awful."
Everyone gave her dirty looks and Yasui grunted.
"I feel awful."
Shinrai leaned closer. Yasui tried to smile.
"Hi, Shinrai."
"Hi, Yasui. Do you remember anything?"
"Not really…. The nurse… already tried."
Diana patted his right hand.
"Well, what happened isn't important. Helping you feel better is."
Yasui grunted his assent. He then thought of something.
"What… day is it?"
Shinrai answered.
"It's Tuesday."
"Tuesday?"
"You've been… asleep for a while. Like, almost five days."
"I have?"
"Yeah. Uh… happy belated birthday, Yasui."
Yasui stared into the distance.
"That's right… my birthday was on Sunday. I guess… I'm seventeen now."
Everyone looked around uncomfortably. Nobody seemed to know what to say. Finally Yasui broke the silence.
"What… happened?"
Shinrai gulped.
"You don't remember anything?"
Yasui furrowed his brow but stopped as a jolt of pain seared through his left eye.
"Ah, not really…. My head feels… fuzzy."
Shinrai and the rest of his visitors all looked at each other before Diana interjected.
"We can worry about that later. Do you want us to bring you anything?"
Yasui thought about it. There were several things he could use right now.
"Well… I'll need my school books so I can try to keep up with classes. Uh… and my phone… so I can call my parents. And talk to you guys… I guess."
Shinrai sighed.
"Uh, I can help with the first thing. But unfortunately your phone didn't survive the… accident. They found it in three pieces. Which, uh, the doctors wanted you to write down your parents phone number so they can call them and let them know what happened. If you tell me I'll write it down."
Yasui closed his eye.
"Yeah, it's… uh… it's."
He frowned.
"It's three… two… uh… wait. Three… four… two…. I just… can't seem to remember it clearly. I think… this medicine is making me drowsy."
Diana clasped her hands together.
"You've also just woken back up, you won't be back to your normal self just like that. It's not urgent, you can rest now."
Yasui tried to nod but regretted it. His whole body was beginning to feel like one massive bruise. He licked his lips and looked at Shinrai.
"Shinrai."
"Yeah?"
"Can… can you stop by my job…. I need to let Mr. Nabuyo know… that I'll be out for a bit."
Shinrai nodded vigorously.
"Of course! I'll do that as soon as I leave."
It wasn't fair. He had people here to talk to, but he suddenly felt so very tired. Yufine seemed to notice this and smiled at him, although it seemed a bit strained.
"You look a little sleepy. We can come back later, so you just rest now, okay? We need our club president back as soon as possible."
Yasui sighed.
"…Okay."
Yasui watched through his blurred eye as everyone filled out of his room and began whispering in the hallway. The exhaustion overtook him, and he fell asleep once more.
Once Shinrai left the hospital, he called his mother as he walked to the train. He wasn't sure why she was the first person he thought of calling, but she was. Her phone rang a few times before she answered.
"Hello, Shinrai."
"Hi, Mom."
"…Do you need something?"
"No, I just wanted to let you know that Yasui woke up."
"That's great news! I'm sure you're happy to have him back."
"Well…."
"Shinrai, what's the matter?"
"He… doesn't remember what happened. And, well, he's so weak and seems like he's in a lot of pain."
"The doctors will take good care of him, don't worry. He'll be back to normal soon enough."
"I know, but… I still feel a bit weird about seeing him like that. It's… hard. And I don't know why?"
"Oh, Shinrai. That's normal. Nobody likes to see people we care about in pain. What's important is that you're there for him. Avoiding him just because his injuries make you uncomfortable will only make things worse."
"I know…. Well, I guess I should start planning his party. The sooner we have it the better."
"Maybe you should wait a bit. At least until he's out of the hospital."
"Huh? Why?"
"Well, because then he'll be able to enjoy it too. If he's still bedridden and weak when you have the party, he'll probably have a hard time enjoying it."
"Oh… I hadn't thought about it like that."
"I'm a mom. It's my job to think about things like that."
"Yeah, thanks. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know he was awake again."
"Mhm, and be sure to let me know when his party is. I'll pick up a gift for him."
"Oh, you don't need to do that."
"He saved my baby from getting seriously hurt, or worse—"
"Okay, Mom."
"—The least I can do is get him a little something for his birthday!"
Shinrai shook his head.
"Alright, just don't make it weird."
"I'll try to be as non-embarrassing as I can."
"Alright, bye."
"Bye, Shinrai. I love you."
"Love you too, Mom."
Shinrai took the train from the hospital back to the station closest to Cherryton. But before he headed back to campus, he stopped by Cafe Lapin to deliver Yasui's message. When he walked in, he saw a goth rabbit standing at the counter and a rather grouchy looking older rabbit grumbling as he cleaned an espresso machine. Shinrai approached them.
"Uh, hello."
The goth rabbit picked at her nails as she spoke.
"Welcome to Cafe Lapin. What can I get for you?"
"Uh… is the boss in today?"
The goth tilted her head.
"Mr. Nabuyo. It's for you."
The old grumpy rabbit set down his cloth and walked over.
"Yes, can I help?"
"You're Yasui's boss?"
At the mention of Yasui his expression soured.
"Bah, that little no-show! What about him?"
"Uh… I have a message from him."
"What, is his phone not working? I tried to call him about fifty times already!"
Shinrai scratched the back of his head and looked away.
"Well… his phone is broken."
"Of course. And he can't bother to show up for his shift or let me know he'll be gone without it!"
"Well… he wanted to. But he's in the hospital."
Immediately both rabbits' expressions turned to looks of surprise. Mr. Nabuyo passed a hand over his mouth.
"Heaven's sakes! What happened!?"
Shinrai sighed.
"He… got attacked. He's been in a coma since Friday. But, he woke back up today! And he asked me to let you know what happened."
The old rabbit sagged heavily against the counter.
"That's… I don't… What happened? What's wrong with him?"
Shinrai gulped.
"Well… his head got beaten up pretty bad. And his arm got ripped off. And his eye is all messed up. And… I don't know what else but it was really bad."
The goth rabbit shook her head.
"Holy shit…. Is he, you know, going to be okay? Like, do they think he'll be handicapped or something?"
Shinrai bit his lip. He had wondered the same thing, but hadn't wanted to ask the doctors yet. He shook his head.
"I don't know…."
Mr. Nabuyo stumbled towards one of the chairs in the cafe.
"I need to sit down…."
Shinrai awkwardly stood there, completely unsure of what to do. Finally, Mr. Nabuyo gestured towards him.
"Let Yasui know that he can take as long as he needs. He'll still have a spot here when he's out and about again."
Shinrai nodded.
"Will do."
The goth rabbit spoke up.
"Hey!"
Shinrai looked at her.
"Tell that knucklehead that he needs to get better soon. I hate having to talk to the customers instead of letting him do it."
Shinrai nodded and gave her a thumbs up.
"I will, I promise."
Yasui woke up a bit later to find his room empty once more. It was dark, but some moonlight came through the window as he looked out from his bed. He was immediately aware of a throbbing pain just about everywhere above his waist. Yasui groaned and tried to move his arms to rub his face. He couldn't seem to feel his left arm, but clumsily he lifted his right arm and was able to scratch his ear. He stopped when he moved his fingers down a bit and felt a bandage. What was worse, was that there was something bumpy above his right eye. Carefully he traced the tender area to try to find its source.
As he felt it, he realized that he was feeling a long row of stitches under a bandage that led from his right eye through his eyebrow and up to around halfway between his eyebrow and ear. He felt a larger wad of bandages over the eye itself and felt the area around the eye socket. More stitches ran from the corner of his eye and curved down his cheek. He sucked in a breath as he realized how massive this series of stitches was. He looked over at his left arm and saw it was in a cast hanging from some sort of sling. His chest had various wires attached to it, and everything hurt. Breathing hurt a bit, his eye hurt, his arm hurt, his brain hurt, even his stomach hurt.
(What on earth is wrong with me? What even happened?)
He was glad he wasn't feeling as sluggish as before, but the pain was definitely unpleasant. He dropped his right arm and felt his fingers brush against something. He picked up and moved it to where his left eye could see it. It was a controller of some sort with various buttons on it, as well as a red button that had "help" inscribed on it. He grit his teeth and pushed the button. It lit up and he allowed a pained hiss to escape from between his teeth. Slowly but surely the pain was getting a bit worse. Around two minutes later he heard footsteps outside his door and light came into the room from the hallway as the door opened. He squinted at the light as a female lion entered the room and flicked on some of the smaller lights.
"Oh, hello! Glad to see you're awake again. What can I do for you?"
Yasui groaned.
"I'm… really in pain. I think… something's wrong."
The nurse frowned and moved over to his IV bag and checked it.
"It seems to be working normally. On a scale of one to ten how bad is your pain?"
Yasui closed his eye and set his jaw.
"Five… but it's getting worse."
"Hm… I'll increase your dosage for now until we can get somebody to take a look at you. Sound good?"
Yasui grunted.
"Yes please… thank you."
She smiled at him before taking out her phone and typing something. Once finished she adjusted the IV drip and sat down in the chair beside Yasui's bed.
"So, could you tell me what exactly hurts, and what the pain feels like?"
Yasui took a deep breath and winced as pain shot through him.
"Gah! M-my chest… when I breathe. It's like… I'm being stabbed. And my head… just feels like it's… throbbing. And my eye… feels like there's something in it. And it's… burning."
Yasui groaned as another fresh wave of discomfort hit him. The lioness squeezed his free hand.
"It's okay, I'm staying right here. We'll get you taken care of. My name is Nurse Jesse, by the way."
"Yasui…."
She hummed.
"It's nice to meet you, Yasui. Is there anything you want to ask me?"
Yasui tried to steady his breathing a bit. It was hard not to gasp with how bad his ribs hurt.
"What… day is it?"
"Wednesday morning, around two."
"But… how long… was I asleep for?"
"Only a few hours. Don't worry, we don't expect you to slip back into a coma."
Yasui gulped and considered the one question he had been fearing the answer to the whole time.
"Nurse Jesse—"
"Just Jesse is fine."
"Jesse… am I… paralyzed?"
"What do you mean? Are you having trouble moving?"
"A…little."
The lioness frowned and stood up. She looked at him with concern and said,
"Well, there's a test I can do to see. We had no way of easily checking until you were awake. Here, tell me if you can feel this."
She ran her finger along his right hand, gently brushing each finger. Yasui twitched his hand.
"Yeah, I can."
She moved down to his feet and repeated the process. Yasui involuntarily twitched as she tested his nerves, causing her to grin.
"That's a very good sign!"
"But… what about my left arm?"
She moved over to it and delicately examined his fingers.
"Unfortunately it'll probably not have any feeling in it for a while. The nerves that were severed need time to repair themselves. But hopefully you won't have any issues feeling it after a few more days."
Yasui sighed and looked over at the door.
"How… bad do I look? I could feel… the stitches."
The lioness gently placed her hand on his cheek and turned his head to face her again. She made a big deal of looking him over and tilting her head from side to side.
"Well, in my humble opinion, I'd say… you look as good as can be expected."
Yasui gave her a confused look to which she grinned.
"Just being honest."
Yasui grimaced.
"Great…."
"Oh relax, I'm just messing with you. But… I'll be honest. You'll probably have some scars, especially around your eye."
Yasui sighed.
"I was afraid of that…."
(Now I'll be a runt who's permanently disfigured.)
She looked around before leaning in close and whispering,
"Between you and me, I think scars look hot on a guy. Makes them look tough."
Yasui looked at her skeptically.
"You really think so?"
"Mhm, and I can definitely see other ladies feeling the same way."
Yasui was thinking that fact over when a male horse walked into the room reading a clipboard. He looked at Yasui and the nurse and inclined his head at the lioness.
"I can take it from here. Thank you nurse."
Nurse Jesse smiled at Yasui.
"See you in a bit."
Yasui looked over at the serious horse and gulped. This doctor was a bit intimidating. He continued looking at his clipboard before sighing.
"You're lucky that I'm here at this awful hour. Fortunately for you I was researching a different case of mine and decided to stay here rather than go home."
"Oh… well… that's… good."
The doctor ignored him and began walking around examining the machines.
"I've been told you wish to have your current condition detailed to you."
"Yes—"
"You suffered a series of blunt force trauma to your skull, eye, and ribs. This resulted in a contusion, a fracture located on the back of your skull, another one on your brow, a torn cornea, severe laceration to the brow and cheek, four broken ribs, and internal bleeding from some ruptured blood vessels around your pancreas. Fortunately no organs were severely damaged, excluding your brain which we don't know the extent of the damage to yet. And of course your arm was torn off and then reattached."
Yasui felt like he had just been thrown into the ocean. His mind was reeling from the massive amount of information that had been dumped on him all at once. He blinked his eye rapidly as he tried to formulate one of the many questions he had into a coherent sentence. The doctor gave him a bored look.
"Any questions?"
"W-wha…. Will my… eye be fine?"
"We can't know for certain until the tear closes. So you'll need to wear an eyepatch and keep it closed for a while. Probably a month or more. And keep it dry and clean. Any contamination could cause an infection which could cost you the eye."
Yasui's throat tightened and he gasped.
"A… month…."
"Yes. Once you've healed enough we'll have to test the extent of any loss of fine motor skills caused by the head trauma. It'll probably be a few days before feeling returns to your left arm, if it returns at all. Your arm will probably be in a cast for a few months."
Yasui sat in stunned silence. His body really was destroyed. He was broken. He would live the rest of his life as a cripple. He'd be even more useless than he had been before. It was bad enough being a runt, but also a one eyed, one armed cripple with brain damage….
The doctor adjusted his coat and ran a hand through his mane.
"I'll leave you to get some rest. The nurses will be available should you need anything."
Yasui didn't notice him leaving. He was tumbling down a bottomless well of despair. There was no hope, or any reason to continue. It was too much to deal with, a literal mountain of pain and suffering for him to overcome, and he couldn't do it. He just knew it.
(Why…. Why me? What did I do to deserve all the bad things that happen to me? Why is my life so terrible? I wish I hadn't woken back up. I don't want to go through this. It's just… awful.)
There were footsteps as the lioness nurse from before walked back into the room. She looked at him and smiled.
"Hopefully he was able to answer all your questions. Now, I need to make sure everything is hooked up fine and that you're all set for the night."
Hopelessness was welling up inside Yasui. It was like the whole world had gotten darker. It was so unfair he wanted to cry. He felt his eyes prickle.
(No. I don't want… I don't want to cry. Please no….)
But his body refused to listen to him. He turned his head to try to hide his childish outburst as fat teardrops rolled down his cheek from his uncovered eye. He could feel moisture soaking into his eye bandages too. The nurse replaced his IV bag and turned back towards him.
"There we go! All set and… oh…."
Yasui tried to hold his breath. He didn't want to cry and sob like a baby. He was a seventeen year old, he was too old for this. But he couldn't manage to keep it in. With a gasp he sobbed in the dark confines of his hospital room. The lioness grabbed a tissue from a nearby box and wiped his cheek with it.
"Hey, shh, shhh… what's wrong? What's the matter?"
Yasui choked out,
"I-I don't *hic* want to *hic* be a c-c-cripple!"
"You're not a cripple. You'll get better. It just takes time."
"N-no I *hic* won't! I-I've always *hic* been *hic* weak *hic* and— and— *hic* fragile! I'm going *hic* to be *hic* useless forever now!"
She sat down beside him and wiped his tears.
"Shhhhhh, you'll be fine. Just don't give up. And even if some things can't be fixed, just because you might not be able to do everything other animals can doesn't make you useless."
"H-how will *hic* I be *hic* fine with *hic* only one arm *hic* and one *hic* eye!"
"Lots of animals live without limbs or eyes. Some of the people I've treated here have been in wheelchairs, or can't move their limbs at all. But that doesn't mean their lives have no value. And I'm sure all your friends and family will agree that they care about you just as much if you don't have one of your arms and eyes as they always have."
Yasui still felt that bitter pain inside of him, but that made him feel a bit better. He shuddered as his diaphragm spasmed with his crying, causing his ribs to hurt.
"R-really? I-I… but I don't *sniff* I don't want to lose my arm or eye."
The lioness wiped the last trickle of tears from his eye and began to swap his damp eyepatch out for a clean one.
"Then you have to work hard to get better. And most of all, don't give up. If you push yourself to get better and put in the work, it'll go a long way to getting you back to your old self."
"Really?"
She patted his uninjured hand.
"Mhm. And there's scientific studies to prove it. Keeping a positive disposition speeds up recovery time. So don't lose hope."
Yasui sighed, his outburst having subsided.
"It's just… terrifying to think about. So much will have to change about my life…."
She leaned in a bit and looked at him expectantly.
"Okay, let's make a list. Then we'll work through it one by one."
She reached beside her towards a small table where a pen and pad of paper were sitting. She got ready to write and nodded at him. Yasui thought for a while before beginning.
"Well… I'll need to learn how to write with my right hand…. Because I'm left handed."
Jesse gave him a sympathetic look.
"Oh no… I'm sorry, I didn't realize. I can see why losing your left arm, even just for a bit, would be overwhelming."
Yasui nodded and immediately regretted it as his head throbbed.
"And… well… everything. I'll need to relearn how to do everything with my other hand. Eating, opening doors, just… everything."
Jesse tore the top piece of paper off and pulled a tray up from beside the bed. She adjusted the incline of Yasui's bed until it was at a comfortable angle to use the tray table from before placing the paper and pen before him.
"First things first, we're going to get you writing with your right hand."
Yasui looked from the pen and paper up to Jesse's expectant face.
"But… do you have time for this? Don't you need to do other stuff?"
She shrugged.
"It's the graveyard shift. If anything happens they'll page me. I have some time."
Yasui nodded before awkwardly picking the pen up with his right hand. It was remarkably just how clumsy it felt to hold a pen in his right hand when it was so natural in his left hand. Yasui set his face in determination and put pen to paper. He scowled as he clumsily tried to write.
(My… name… is… Yasui.)
He looked at the sloppy mess he had created on the paper. It was barely recognizable as words, and completely illegible. Jesse clapped.
"Not bad for a first attempt. Let's try again."
And so, Yasui wrote simple sentences over and over again for the better part of an hour. After about fifteen minutes he wanted to give up, but Nurse Jesse would encourage him to keep going. Finally he grew so frustrated he dropped the pen in disgust and leaned back against the bed.
"This is pointless! I can't do it!"
Jesse picked up the pen and set it down beside the scribbled on paper.
"I think you need a break. Want me to get you something? A snack maybe?"
Yasui's stomach growled hungrily. He hadn't noticed how empty it felt until now. He assumed they must have fed him somehow while he was unconscious, but it probably hadn't been solid. Yasui licked his lips.
"Yes, please."
She smiled.
"I'll see what I can scrounge up."
Nurse Jesse walked down the hallways of the hospital and into the break room. She nodded to one of her fellow nurses working the graveyard shift and began looking for some halfway decent food. The other nurse was in the process of brewing some coffee and lifted the can of coffee beans a bit.
"Want some?"
Jesse sighed.
"Absolutely."
"Uh-oh, long night?"
Jesse leaned against the table and rubbed her eyes.
"I swear that doctor is the absolute worst! I get he's a talented surgeon and all, but his bedside manner is abysmal!"
The other nurse put the coffee on to brew and leaned in intently.
"What did he do this time?"
"He just dumped everything wrong with the fox in room 26 on him and immediately left. Poor kid freaked out because he just threw it out there that he might lose his arm and eye."
"No! And then just walked out?!"
"Yup, back to his research or whatever he's up to at this ungodly hour."
The other nurse grimaced.
"The graveyard shift is the worst. I can't wait to rotate back to the day shift."
Jesse stretched and grunted.
"Yeah, this schedule absolutely wrecks my circadian rhythm. I end up having insane insomnia for a few days at the start and end of the transition."
The other nurse handed her a cup of coffee.
"Hang in there."
"I will. By the way, are there any decent snacks here?"
The other nurse opened a small drawer and looked inside.
"There's… some corn puffs, crackers, cheese fries, yogurt bites, raisins, and banana chips."
Jesse held out a hand.
"Mind throwing me some banana chips and corn puffs?"
The other nurse tossed the two items towards Jesse and watched as she left the room. Snacks and coffee in hand, Jesse returned to Yasui's room and held up the two snacks.
"We've got banana chips and corn puffs. Pick your poison."
Yasui frowned.
"I've never tried either of those. Uh… which would you recommend?"
She handed him the banana chips.
"Give these a try. They're good and easy on the stomach. And be sure to eat slowly. Your stomach is pretty empty right now."
Yasui accepted the bag gratefully before realizing that there was a problem. He couldn't open the snack with only one hand.
"Um, Nurse Jesse? Can you help me open these?"
The lioness took the bag from him and popped it open, handing it back to him with a smile.
"You don't have to call me Nurse Jesse. Just 'Jesse' is fine."
"Okay, Miss Jesse."
The lioness shuddered.
"Please don't call me 'Miss' either. I'm only twenty-five and I don't want to feel old yet."
"Sorry… Jesse."
Yasui ate one of the chips and was… unimpressed. It just tasted like a banana but crunchy. And with far less flavor. In fact he didn't taste anything at all. Yasui pulled a face.
"These are pretty… bland. Not to be ungrateful or anything!"
Jesse reached over and took a chip and popped it into her mouth before chewing it slowly. She frowned.
"It tastes fine to me. Well… maybe it's one of the medicines you're on? I've heard some medications can mess with people's senses of taste and smell."
"Oh… hopefully it's not permanent."
"It shouldn't be."
Yasui's hunger drove him to eat more of the bland disks of fruit. It wasn't exactly pleasant, but he did think it was probably caused by some sort of medicine given his whole tongue seemed a bit numb as he ate. Eventually he decided to break the silence.
"Um, Jesse?"
"Mhm?"
"How long have you been a nurse?"
She finished her bite and thought about it.
"Let's see… a little more than a year. I just finished my Nursing program and medical school a bit ago. And then I had to find a hospital that was hiring."
"Were you the one who did the blood draw this morning?"
"No, I was asleep at home. Why do you ask?"
"Just curious. My heart beat went crazy because I'm terrified of needles."
"Oh… sorry."
Yasui shrugged his shoulder that wasn't in a sling.
"It's fine. And, it's not really needles I'm scared of, just things being under my skin. Something about that gives me the heebie-jeebies."
Jesse raised an eyebrow.
"So how are you handling having an IV port in your arm?"
"I'm trying to not think about it at all."
"Ah."
Yasui settled into his bed a bit and looked over at Jesse as she finished her snack and started to stand.
"Um, I know you're probably busy and all, but could you stay with me a bit? I just… I want some company if you wouldn't mind. It's lonely here at night when you can't sleep."
Jesse smiled comfortingly at him.
"Of course. The night shift is pretty slow, so I have time. It beats waiting at the nurse's station for something to happen."
Yasui relaxed a bit. The thought of spending another night of slow waiting without the ability to leave his bed was horrific. He turned his head a bit to see her better.
"So, do you always work the night shift?"
"No, it rotates. In two days I'll switch back to day shift."
"Huh…. So, do you like being a nurse?"
She folded her hands across her stomach and leaned back a bit.
"I like helping other animals feel better, but it's definitely not what I originally expected. For starters I didn't know my feet and back would hurt this much from all the standing. Two days in I understood why everyone wears orthopedic shoes."
"Oh, I'm sorry. You can come sit with me whenever you want a break, I won't tell."
She snickered and winked at Yasui.
"I might take you up on that offer."
Yasui thought for a bit before asking,
"So what's the biggest thing you didn't expect about being a nurse?"
Jesse pulled a face.
"Easy. Just how often you get covered in other beast's bodily fluids. Blood, vomit, and… even less pleasant ones."
"Gross…."
"Yeah. Why, you thinking about becoming a nurse?"
"Oh, I haven't really thought about what I'll do when I grow up. Probably just go back home and work on the farm."
Jesse leaned forward.
"Oh? Is there a girl waiting for you back home?"
"None but my siblings. I'm not exactly… popular."
"Daw, that's too bad. It would have been super cute if you had a girl waiting back home. Like something out of a movie."
Yasui was eager to move on.
"How about you, Jesse? Do you have a boyfriend?"
The lioness laughed.
"Why? Are you interested?"
Yasui blushed and she laughed some more.
"I'm kidding! But no, nobody right now. I just haven't met the right guy."
"Oh, what's your right guy?"
She rubbed her chin and clicked her tongue.
"Let's see…. I'd love it if they were hot, but that's not super important. What I really want is somebody who's smart enough to carry on an actual conversation. You'd be surprised how many morons there are who literally can't talk for more than five minutes without running out of things to say. That, and I want a guy who knows how to show genuine affection. Not just sex, but things like giving me a foot rub after a long day of being on-call, making me dinner when I have to stay late, or being happy just staying in on my nights off."
Yasui laughed.
"So guys who are kind of like me? Dorky bookworms who like to cook and do household chores?"
She grinned.
"You wouldn't happen to have any lion cousins my age, would you?"
"Nope, just foxes. Sorry."
"Ah well, worth a try."
Jesse looked at him mischievously for a bit before leaning towards him and asking.
"How about you? I've bared my heart, so do you have any girls you like at school?"
Yasui grimaced.
"Not really… not at school, no."
"Outside of school?"
"…It's… complicated."
"Oh! Now I'm intrigued."
"Well… it's just… you won't tell anyone?"
"Doctor patient confidentiality."
"Okay. So… I really like somebody, but I know it wouldn't work."
"And why is that?"
"Well, for starters… they're a bit older than me. And not just two or three years."
"Well, that might not be an absolute deal breaker. The older you get the more you realize that you don't have to be the exact same age as your significant other."
"There's more. We're also… not the same species. Not even both canidae either."
Jesse leaned back and sighed in understanding.
"The age old conundrum. Feelings for somebody who's a different species."
"I know, it's weird. I just can't help it."
"It's not weird. Especially as a teenager, being attracted to other species is pretty common. Most people just don't act on it, or those relationships just usually never go anywhere, for obvious reasons."
"Really?"
"Mhm, my first boyfriend in high school was a cheetah. And boy was he hot. Tall, dark, and handsome. We fooled around a bit, but broke up after a while."
"Oh…. You see, I'm not the fooling around type. I don't want to date someone just for fun or because I think they're attractive. I'd want the person I date to be someone I could see myself marrying."
"Wow, you're old fashioned."
"Yeah, I know."
"It's cute, actually. Very pure. I'm sure you'll find someone eventually."
They idly chatted for a while longer before Jesse checked her phone and sighed.
"Sorry, Yasui. But I do need to go now."
"It's okay, I understand."
"I can give you something to help you sleep if you want."
"I don't know…. Those sedatives from before were terrible."
"Not a sedative. Just a little something to help you relax."
Yasui considered it for a moment.
"Well… I guess I'll try it."
"Don't worry, I'll be back to check on you in a bit just in case."
"I appreciate that. Thanks, Jesse."
Whatever she gave him worked wonders because Yasui quickly fell back asleep and woke up late Wednesday morning when a new nurse came in to run some tests. She was fine, but not nearly as nice as Nurse Jesse. The real surprise came when a somewhat familiar male tiger paid him a visit around eleven. He was older with a sort of grandfatherly look about him and he smiled broadly as he entered the room.
"Ah, good! You're awake!"
Yasui squinted at the tiger. He had met him before, but he wasn't sure where. Yasui hesitantly asked,
"Have we… met before? You seem familiar…."
The tiger nodded.
"We have, but not frequently. The nurses warned me you were still a bit foggy. But that's not unexpected given what you've been through. I'm Headmaster Gon."
Yasui's uncovered eye widened.
"O-oh! That's what it is! You're the headmaster of Cherryton!"
Gon sat down in the chair beside his bed and closed his eyes, smiling cheerfully.
"How are you feeling today, Yasui?"
Yasui looked down at himself and sighed.
"I'm not in lots of pain anymore, but… I'm still achy. And I get tired easily…."
Gon nodded.
"Well I'm glad to hear that there's been some improvement. You see, I'm here to talk about school…."
Yasui felt a pit of dread form in his stomach. He had missed a lot of classes, and probably would miss more. Yasui whimpered.
"P-please… don't expel me. I-I didn't mean to miss classes. I didn't exactly have a choice…."
Gon looked taken aback.
"Goodness! What kind of heartless monster do you think I am? You risk your life to protect a classmate and I expel you! Absolutely not! No, I just wanted to assure you that your teachers have been informed of the situation and are more than happy to make accommodations. Most of them have prepared some packets for you to use to keep up in your classes, and I brought them with me. And I'm sure you get one of your friends to bring you anything you need from your dorm. Or… well, if not I'm happy to help."
Yasui licked his lips.
"O-oh! It's okay! My friend already said he'd bring my textbooks and stuff like that!"
"Ah, splendid! Your teachers also said that they included some assignments you can turn in to get credit for some missed ones. So just send word to the office and we can pick them up when you're done."
Yasui frowned and looked at his left arm.
"I don't know when I'll be able to do that. You see… I'm left handed."
Gon frowned.
"Oh dear, that's unfortunate."
"But I'm trying to learn how to write with my right hand. It just… might take a while."
Gon smiled paternally at Yasui.
"Take as much time as you need. I'm not the type of headmaster to let a gifted student like yourself fall behind because of something like this. Oh! That actually reminds me! I was told you were having some issues with your memory, and couldn't remember your parents phone number."
Yasui sighed. He still was having the same issue. He'd get halfway through the string of numbers and lose his place, jumbling them up. He'd tried to write them down and continue from where he left off, but he still couldn't get the last four digits. Gon handed him a slip of paper.
"I made a call to your old headmaster and got the number for you. However the hospital insisted on calling as soon as I gave them the number, so naturally I pretended I forgot it at school and would send it over to them later."
Yasui looked up at the old tiger in confusion, who in turn grinned.
"I figured I'd let them hear it from you first. So you can just pretend that you finally remember the number."
"Headmaster… are you telling me to lie to the doctors?"
Gon held a hand to his heart.
"Me? Tell you to lie? Absolutely not! I'm suggesting you bend the truth for your family's sake."
Gon looked at the door as a nurse entered and he winked at Yasui.
"Well I'll get out of your fur. Let me know if you need anything."
Yasui waved as the old tiger left. He hadn't had too many interactions with the headmaster, but he thought he seemed like a nice person. One of the other nurses wheeled a cart in and began setting out supplies. It was time for them to check Yasui's internal injuries and his arm. He resigned himself to the unpleasant experience of having cold gel rubbed on the shaved parts of his torso as the nurse got ready. He hated this part a lot.
Yasui spent the next few hours trying to do some school work. He began by practicing his right-handed writing, but when that grew too frustrating he swapped to reading the full packets he had received so he knew how to best tackle the work. He hoped Shinrai would remember to bring him his books. It seemed like forever before Shinrai came to visit him. Apparently Diana had some pressing matters to attend to and would not be able to make it today, but she made up for it by having Shinrai bring him a package along with Yasui's school supplies. The squirrel was accompanied by his fennec fox friend who stood a bit back to give the two some space as Shinrai excitedly watched while Yasui opened the small box he had been given.
"So you don't know what it is?" Yasui asked.
"Nope! I didn't want to risk messing something up."
"How?"
"I dunno. Like, in case it had a glitter bomb or something like that."
"I doubt Miss Diana would send me a glitter bomb."
Yasui opened the box and took out a piece of paper that was sitting on top.
(Dear Yasui, here's a little something to replace something you lost. I figured you could make good use of it while stuck in the hospital. Love, Diana.)
Yasui reached inside and pulled out a shiny new smartphone. Shinrai whistled.
"Daaaaang! That's the newest model!"
Yasui rolled his eye.
"There she goes spending money on me again…."
But Yasui was very glad to have a phone again. Now he could talk to his friends and family whenever he wanted. Which meant that he could call his family. Yasui considered doing it right then and there, but thought better of it.
(I'll wait until Shinrai leaves. We can just hang out for a bit, because the call home will probably get… emotional.)
Shinrai sat on the edge of the bed and leaned over to be in Yasui's vision more easily.
"So, how's hospital life treating you?"
Yasui groaned.
"It's terrible. I'm so bored, and I want to move around! And now I'm frustrated constantly by school work, because I'm trying to learn to write with my right hand!"
Shinrai looked at Yasui's bandaged arm and winced.
"I hadn't even thought about that. That sucks dude, seriously."
Hikaru moved to stand at the end of the bed.
"But hey, at least you have lots of time to play video games or read!"
Yasui's ears drooped.
"Unfortunately I don't have any of those. And I haven't had a chance to see if I can get some books to read here."
Hikaru shrugged.
"You can probably ask a nurse about the books. And as far as games go, I'll bring some that you can borrow if you want. I have tons."
Yasui smiled at the fennec fox.
"Really?"
"Of course. You're Shinrai's best friend, so that makes you my friend by default. Besides, I am loving the good treatment all foxes are getting because of you."
Yasui frowned.
"Huh? What do you mean?"
Hikaru pointed at the tv in the corner of the room.
"Well ever since the news story about you protecting Shinrai and that other guy came out, everyone has been a bit nicer to foxes. It tends to happen whenever one member of a species does something especially heroic."
Yasui furrowed his brow.
"I didn't really do anything heroic though. I just got beaten almost to death."
Shinrai shook his head.
"Yasui, you fought a fully grown adult carnivore who was almost double your size to protect me. That's pretty heroic. The news didn't publish our names of course, we are minors after all so there's laws and stuff like that, but the general story got picked up and broadcast all over! The whole city was talking about how brave you are."
Yasui was stunned.
(Me? A hero? But, I wasn't brave at all! I was scared the whole time! I'm no hero, I'm just too dumb to not attack someone twice my size. But still… I did do it to protect my friend, so that's what really matters.)
Yasui looked down at Shinrai's arm.
"I forgot to ask, but were you hurt at all?"
Shinrai grinned and rolled his sleeve up. A mottled bruise covered his forearm where he had been grabbed.
"Just have this beauty of a bruise. It looks like an evil potato."
"What does that even mean!" Yasui laughed.
They were interrupted when the door opened and a nurse walked in with a cart holding several bandages. She nodded at Yasui.
"It's time to change the bandages on your head."
Yasui gently nodded his assent and sat up straight so she could access the back of his head. Shinrai scurried out of the way and watched as the nurse slowly unwrapped Yasui's eye. To Yasui's immediate surprise, when the thick pad of gauze over his stitches was removed he heard an unpleasant and very sticky sound. This was followed by a very unpleasant smell. To Yasui's chagrin, he saw Shinrai and Hikaru both grow pale and their expressions turned to disgust.
As the old bandage was pulled away and set aside, Yasui noticed that it was discolored with splotches of red and a faint almost yellow color. The nurse gently prodded the sutures and clicked her tongue.
"These aren't closing as well as we had hoped. I'll need to clean them and apply some antiseptic. This won't take long."
She got out some bottles of solution and some clean gauze and began gently cleaning the long injuries around Yasui's eye, careful to keep Yasui's eye itself covered with a piece of gauze. Yasui gulped.
"W-when you took the bandages off, I couldn't see out of my eye…."
"Sorry, that's because we glued your eye shut so it could heal. That's why you need to not get it wet. If the glue dissolves it could cause serious pain and possibly get you an infection."
Yasui felt something cold and damp on his head followed by another sticky noise. Shinrai gagged.
"I'm going to go to the bathroom!"
Hikaru nodded and followed. Yasui cringed.
(How bad does it look?! It sounds nasty, and smells bad, but it must look even worse.)
Yasui shuddered as cold antiseptic was applied to his injuries, causing them to sting. The sharp smell of the antiseptic mixed with the foul smell of his stitches into a very unpleasant aroma. Yasui did his best not to complain as she worked, but this nurse wasn't nearly as gentle as some of the others had been. Twinges of pain shot through the tender flesh she was touching as she cleaned the wounds. Finally she seemed satisfied and wrapped his head back up with clean bandages. She nodded to him.
"Let me know if you experience any unusual discomfort, okay?"
Yasui gulped.
"Okay…."
She turned and left, leaving Yasui alone once again. He felt… so terrible all of the sudden. His face had been so disgusting to look at it had made two people sick. Was it really that hideous? Suddenly, Yasui didn't want people to see him at all. He felt his hackles raise as he thought about walking around at school in the future with a face so disfigured it was sickening. Shinrai and Hikaru returned shortly after, and Shinrai shuddered.
"Thank goodness it's covered back up! Horrifying!"
Hikaru grimaced.
"Those sounds should never come from somebody's face."
Yasui felt a lump in his throat.
"Yeah… pretty bad."
Shinrai shook his head.
"Hopefully it'll go away soon."
"Yeah, hopefully." Yasui echoed.
The conversation was muted after that, and after a while Yasui made the excuse that he was tired and needed to rest. Shinrai and Hikaru said goodbye, leaving him to think. He felt absolutely humiliated. He wanted to crawl into a hole and die after Shinrai's reaction. And how would everyone else react? He had been a bit frustrated about being seen as cute and childlike before, but now everyone would think he was hideous.
(I never thought I'd wish to be cute….)
Yasui looked at the phone Diana had given him. With a sigh, Yasui got the piece of paper out that Headmaster Gon had given him. He wasn't sure what to tell his family. Should he tell them that he was in the hospital? That would probably just freak them out. But he had to say something. But not something so serious that they'd overreact.
(The thing I'm really worried about is that they might try to make me come back home.)
As Yasui thought about his home, he felt dread over the idea of going back with a physical deformity that the others in the village could use to make fun of him. Now he'd be even more of an outsider. Things were looking more and more bleak by the minute. Yasui huffed and typed in his family's phone number.
(First things first, I need to at least let them know I'm okay.)
The phone rang a few times before his mother answered it.
"Hello?"
Yasui tried to sound casual.
"Hi, Mom."
"Yasui! You have a lot of explaining to do! Why haven't you answered your phone!"
Yasui sighed.
"Sorry… I broke my phone."
"That doesn't mean you couldn't call us! There are plenty of phones to use, that I know for certain!"
"I… well… I just…."
"…I'm waiting."
Yasui groaned. His head was starting to hurt a bit.
"There was a… little… accident."
"What type of accident?!"
"I… got hurt. But I'm fine now! Just still a little…."
Yasui hated to lie to his mother, but he didn't know what else to do. As expected she immediately freaked out.
"Tell me exactly what happened! Are you hurt?!"
"It's… well… I don't exactly remember it very well. It's a bit… hazy."
"Was it so serious you ended up in the hospital!?"
Yasui felt a bit of panic creeping in. His mother had always been very insightful.
"Well… yes."
"Yasui! Please tell me what's wrong!"
"Well… I have a few broken bones…."
He heard his mother groan.
"Oh Yasui! Are you okay? Do you need me to come to you?"
"No! I'm fine! Please don't worry! I'll just have a cast for a while!"
While this was technically the truth, there was a lot missing. Yasui gulped.
"Listen, I'm sorry for making you worry. Things have been a little… chaotic."
"Well I'd imagine! But Yasui, I'm really worried now. Are you sure you'll be okay on your own?"
Yasui hesitated. On one hand he did want to see his mother. She had always been able to make him feel better when he'd had troubles as a kid. But then again, his family didn't have money for her to travel to the city and stay here for any amount of time. She'd need a hotel, food, and bus tickets. He couldn't do that to his family.
"Yeah, it's not too bad, Mom."
"Are you sure?"
"…Yeah, don't worry about it. I just wanted to let you know that I was doing fine."
"Well that's good. How are classes going?"
"Well… I got some extra study materials to help me do well."
"That's good! Honestly, you're the only member of this family that is responsible enough to do what you're doing. Your siblings would just goof off the whole time. Keep up the good work, Yasui!"
"Yeah… I will."
There was a pause before Yasui's mother huffed.
"It's too bad nobody else is around. I'll have to fill them in on everything. Call back soon so everyone can say hello!"
Yasui gulped down the lump in his throat.
"Yeah… I will. Bye, Mom. I love you."
"Love you too sweetie. Feel better!"
"I'll try."
"Drink lots of milk! It helps your bones!"
"I will."
"And eggs! They have protein!"
"Okay, Mom. Bye."
"Bye, Yasui!"
Yasui hung up and looked down at the phone with guilt. He had done the right thing by hiding this from his family, right? If so, then why did he feel so bad?
Yasui attempted to do some school work as evening turned into night, but using his right hand instead of his left made everything take way too long. His writing was illegible and went all over the place. Yasui growled in frustration as he desperately scribbled on his paper. Finally he hit a breaking point and threw his pen across the room before stifling a scream in his hand. This was impossible! Dejected, Yasui slumped back into bed and stared angrily up at the ceiling. Soon his door opened and a familiar lioness walked in.
"Good evening, Yasui! How's it— oh. Somebody looks like they're having a rough time."
Yasui huffed.
"It's my stupid arm! I can't write right-handed!"
"It'll take some practice, but you'll get there."
"No I won't! It's impossible!"
Jesse walked over and sat on the edge of his bed.
"Hey, remember what I said. Stay positive. It helps."
Yasui huffed and squeezed his eye shut.
"I don't care if I get better! Everything will still be terrible! I'm sick of using my right hand! I'm sick of having a messed up face! I'm sick of these stupid machines and tubes! And I'm sick of being stuck in bed all day!"
Yasui sat and panted after his outburst. Nurse Jesse always seemed to catch him at his worst. He felt a hand on his head.
"I'm sorry. I know this is hard. I'm not trying to make light of things, I just wanted to try to help you cheer up a bit."
Yasui sighed.
"I'm not upset at you. Just… everything else."
She shifted and stood before examining him. Finally she said,
"You know, I think you're cleared to get out of bed. At least for a little bit."
Yasui perked up.
"Really?"
"I mean, there's nothing wrong with your legs. It's mainly your ribs and balance we're worried about. Let me disconnect everything and we can go for a walk."
Yasui could barely hold still as she removed the various monitors and wires. She left his IV in stating he could wheel it around with him and use it to steady himself. Finally, Jesse carefully helped him swing his legs off the bed and helped him to his feet. Yasui was surprised at just how wobbly and weak his legs were after so long spent in disuse. But he eventually found his footing and slowly shuffled towards the door, with Nurse Jesse's arm to hold onto. Yasui grinned. This felt so good. Just to move around again. To feel the cool pressure of the floor on his feet, to get the blood flowing in his legs, to have some cool air on his back instead of bedding. Walking had never felt so good.
"Nurse Jesse, I mean Jesse. Can we go outside please? I want some fresh air."
"I don't know, it's a little chilly out."
"Please? Just for a bit?"
Jesse sighed and helped lead him towards an elevator. This was Yasui's first time seeing the hospital outside of his room. It was quiet and dim in the night, making it very pleasant for a walk. Jesse pressed a button labeled "roof" and the elevator began to rise. Yasui swayed unsteadily as the elevator began to move but was able to stabilize himself with Jesse's help. Yasui sighed.
"It feels so good to stand again. I was going crazy, stuck in that bed like that."
Jesse smirked.
"I sort of got that vibe from you. Anyways, you looked like you needed some cheering up. Feeling better now?"
Yasui looked down at his bare feet and frowned.
"A little, but…."
"Wanna tell me about it? Doctor patient confidentiality and all that."
"My best friend was visiting me today when they changed the bandage on my eye. And he couldn't even stay in the room with how disgusting it was."
"Oh… that's pretty… yikes. I'm sorry."
"It just made me feel really bad about myself. I just wanted to bury my head in a pillow and never show my face again."
"Listen, I'm not sure what to tell you. But as far as I'm concerned, it's not that bad. And it'll get better with time. For example…."
Yasui watched as she pulled up her pant's leg and gestured at her calf.
"What do you see?"
"Your leg."
"And? Anything else?"
"Uh… what am I looking for?"
She pointed to a long, thin scar running up her leg from her ankle to just below her knee.
"I got this from a bicycle accident when I was sixteen. I needed close to forty stitches. I was mortified with how bad it looked when I wore my school uniform. But over time, it faded until it was barely noticeable."
Yasui looked at the thin little scar on her leg. It clearly had been a much larger injury than Yasui's, and it was almost invisible. Hopefully his scar would turn out the same. As if she could read his mind, Jesse leaned down and patted his shoulder.
"Just be sure to treat it right. No picking at it, keep it clean, and once the stitches are gone try to moisturize it with lotion."
"Will do."
The elevator stopped and Jesse helped him out of the door and onto the rooftop. It was cold, practically freezing, but the fresh air was delicious in Yasui's lungs. He hadn't even known how much he missed air that didn't smell like sanitizing chemicals. Unfortunately he couldn't stay on the roof for very long. His thin hospital gown did nothing to shield him from the cold. So reluctantly he allowed himself to be led back into the building.
Halfway to Yasui's room he couldn't believe just how exhausted he was. He hadn't been walking for very long but he felt absolutely drained. He tugged on Jesse's arm.
"Can we sit for a second? I'm getting tired."
"Of course!"
Yasui leaned heavily on the lioness as she escorted him to a bench. He sat down heavily, wincing as his ribs gave a little twinge of discomfort. He took a deep breath which didn't help at all. As he gingerly touched the sensitive flesh around his ribs, Jesse asked.
"So how's the old memory doing? Remember your parents phone number yet?"
"I called them today and told then what happened."
"That's good! Do you remember… anything else important?"
"If you mean what happened, I don't. It's still a bit of a blur."
"That might be for the best. Sometimes the brain pushed down memories too painful to remember."
Yasui frowned.
"I'm sort of glad I can't remember what happened. I have enough to worry about already."
"Speaking of stuff to worry about… I say it's time for you to practice writing again."
Yasui groaned.
"Please no, it's torture!"
"Think of it as part of your physical therapy."
"I don't care about physical therapy! I'd rather not be angry at a pencil!"
Jesse crossed her arms.
"That won't do! I'll have to think of a way to keep you motivated! But for now, let's get you back to bed."
"Okay…."
With a bit of difficulty, Yasui got to his feet and shuffled back to his room. That night he slept like he had run a marathon.