AN: I'm afraid this chapter is shorter than I had hoped, but life is so crazy right now that if I wait to write longer chapters then my updates will be even more spread apart. It's a bit of a filler chapter but I need to lay a little more groundwork before getting back into the action within another chapter or two. Thank you to my lovely reviewers, happy reading!

Bella's POV

I made it two blocks before I broke down. Two blocks before I succumbed to an embarrassing, bawling cry. The kind that leaves you gulping for air. Sitting on a curb, the towering hospital still in sight behind me, I let the weight of my encounter with Carlisle crash over me completely. After working so hard to maintain a certain level of coolness with him, a certain level of distance, I finally caved.

Ever since I had woken up and seen him beside me I had been walking a tightrope. Torn between anger and shock. Fear and sadness. Confusion and relief. It was the relief that frustrated me the most. It was the one emotion that had made me feel weak. After the pain they had caused me, it felt absurd that my initial response to seeing one of the Cullens was to feel safe and comforted. My body felt traitorous. For a split second I had allowed myself to think that his reappearance in my life would solve the various problems I currently found myself in, but that was a dangerous train of thought. Opening up to them again was too risky. I had had plenty of time to mull over the Cullens since they had left Forks. Ample time in various states of mind to waver between resentment and hurt. But one thing was sure, I wouldn't survive their abandonment again.

It had never felt rational. When Edward left I knew my descent into oblivion was over-the-top. But no matter how hard I tried to drag myself from that void, and God did I try, it was impossible to break the surface. I couldn't offer an explanation then, and I certainly couldn't now. When the boys from the reservation had found me I was already a shell. It made me furious. Yes, some part of my brain had maintained a degree of lucidity. At times it felt like I was looking at myself from the perspective of an outsider. I could see how empty I was, could see how his departure had ripped something from my chest that could not be replaced. But those brief moments of rationality were powerless against whatever supernatural forces had turned me inside out. I could not be repaired.

None of it ever made sense. And the harder I tried to feel better, the harder I tried to understand, the more that gaping hole in my chest consumed me.

And then Victoria showed up. The werewolves had picked up her trail along the coast and followed it inland. It was then that I knew I had to leave Forks. I was the only reason she was there, and if I were to remain in town those I loved would be in the line of fire. Jacob and his friends had tried to reassure me that they could handle it. But I wasn't willing to take the risk. If one of them were to get hurt, let alone killed, I would not have been able to forgive myself. Not to mention Charlie. Who's to say he wouldn't have been killed as collateral damage?

So I took off as soon as I could manage to sneak away. Charlie had presented the perfect excuse when he suggested I go to Jacksonville to be with Renee. After a teary goodbye, I'd driven off in my truck, knowing I would never make it to Florida. Part of me thought that Victoria would track me down before I had even made it past Forks' city limits, I had accepted such a fate. But by some miracle I had managed to make it all the way to Oregon by nightfall. I think that because I had assumed that Victoria would kill me within days, I had never stopped to plan what I would do if I did manage to evade her. But here I was, two years later, still mysteriously alive. If barely. Of course I had no one to blame for my current state other than myself.

I shook those thoughts away. Regret and shame would not help me now. When I had finally calmed down, and reassured more than a few passersby that I was okay, I pulled my phone out and reread the message from Will. The pit in my stomach was only slightly alleviated by the wad of cash now nestled in my pocket. It would be enough to get him off my back for now, but at the end of the day I still had nothing to my name and no place to go. Despair threatened to overwhelm me again and I thought back to Carlisle's offer.

Just stay with us for a night, Esme would be overjoyed to see you. Let us help you get back on your feet. No strings attached.

His expression had been so earnest. So hopeful. And I had been so, so tempted. How many times over the last two years had I imagined what it would be like to find them? For them to find me? Sure, many of those scenarios involved me lashing out and releasing all the anger held within the confines of my skin. But if I admitted it to myself, I knew that beneath the fury was love. At times the contradiction of it all drove me mad. How was it possible to simultaneously be so angry at someone and also crave their comfort?

"Forget about it, Bella. Just forget about them," I muttered to myself, shaking my head in an attempt to dispel the thoughts. I could not spiral now, I had a debt to pay.

Carlisle's POV

I think I would have done it. The idea had crossed my mind, of course. Or rather, it had settled into the forefront of my thoughts while I went through the motions of saving her from the drug's effects. As I watched her vitals flutter dangerously close to an eternal silence, I had run through the possible scenarios in which I successfully whisked her away from that place in order to save her the only way I could. Endless contingency plans. A plan B, a plan C, a plan D. An alphabet of outcomes, all mapped out in my head within seconds.

In the end, my planning had been unnecessary. Modern medicine had prevailed. I thanked God as I sat at her bedside watching her chest rise and fall with each breath she took. I was relieved to see her alive, to see her as a human yet. And I was terribly hopeful about the chance to rebuild the bridges we had burned. Cautiously otpimistic that she would not throw me from the room upon waking.

But then my attempts to regain her trust had failed. During our short conversation she had not lashed out, but I had not been able to convince her to allow us back into her life. Though I could not begrudge her for that. It was clear our disappearance two years prior had been a more heinous crime against her than any of us could have imagined.

On the drive home I mulled over the pact I had made with Bella. I knew it was critical that I keep my word, for after how badly we had hurt her, surely I owed her this one promise? But the idea of hiding something from my family, and more specifically, keeping something from Esme, left me feeling uneasy. Esme knew me better than I knew myself, could I truly keep such an important development from her? It felt cruel. And Edward was unlikely to visit any time soon, but when he did would my well-practiced masking techniques be sufficient enough to hide such a significant revelation? And if I did let these memories slip, how would Edward react?

Just then my phone began to ring, and when I saw the name on the screen it reminded me of a different question that had plagued me since the previous evening.

"Hello, Alice."

"Carlisle! What is going on?! Did you go through with it? Did you change someone? Who did you change? I couldn't get a good view in my vision. No matter how hard I tried, the identity of the person stayed blurry. Either way we are on our way home. Carlisle-"

"Alice, please, I did not change anyone." I kept my voice level, working hard to keep any telling emotions from seeping into the inflection of my words.

"But I saw-"

"I had a difficult situation with a patient, the thought came to me in passing but I was far from acting upon it," I reassured her.

There was a weighted pause before Alice asked quietly, "Is everything alright, Carlisle?" Apparently something in my voice had given me away after all.

I sighed for added effect before responding, "Nothing to worry about, it was simply a difficult shift, but the patient made it through."

"Okay…" I could hear the skepticism in her voice, but was glad she accepted my poor cover-up before carrying on, "Well, Jasper and I are still coming home. I've hit a dead end on my research and I miss you and Esme."

Smiling, I answered, "That sounds wonderful, Alice. It will be nice to have you both back home with us." There was no need to feign the emotion behind my words this time, I was relieved to have at least part of my family return to the house.