This is a work of fantasy. We don't own Chuck or any of its characters.

This takes place a couple months after the end of the series. Sarah has regained almost all of her memories and they are about to begin their new lives together outside the spy life. They say it was a happy ending. They were right.

Worse Than They Feared

x-x-x-x-x

Carina had just said the one thing that would get Sarah to release her. "Where is he?" she demanded.

When Sarah went into the bedroom looking for him, she saw Chuck sitting on the bed. He was holding a bottle of what looked like whiskey and looked incredibly sad. The bottle was about a third gone. "Chuck," she said as she gently took the bottle out of his hand. "What's wrong? Why are you drinking? I'm surprised. This was all for you. You wanted me to learn something. I did learn something… something important. Why are you so messed up? Tell me what's really going on here."

Chuck looked at her in her bedclothes and immediately jumped to the wrong conclusion. "What did you learn?" he asked sadly.

It was Carina who jumped in. "I don't think anything happened," she said.

Sarah nodded to Carina. "Nothing was ever going to happen," she said. "I have no idea why you would think that. Okay, yes. Against my better judgement, I agreed to go on this mission… knowing that it meant I'd be spending some nights alone with some macho stud who considered me his reward for his service as an Intersect. Chuck, you were acting so odd… sending so many mixed messages. I decided that you wanted me to learn something. Sweetie, I really tried. I was going to bail but you thought it was so important. Here is what I learned. I'm no longer a spy. I can't do the things that a spy has to do… especially spend the night in bed with an undercover partner. Pretending that I'm still a spy makes me and everyone around me less safe. Chuck, I missed you even more than I thought I would. No mission was worth spending a night with him… much less him touching me. It repulsed me. When Jones 'insisted', like only an Intersect can, it was time to bail. I was lucky to escape. I didn't learn this. I already knew it. The only man I want touching me is you. Chuck, please. I'll do anything you want, but please don't ask me to do something if you're going to be messed up about it."

Carina wouldn't give up. "You do realize that this man is an Intersect?" she asked. "And you're going to stand here and tell us that you had no temptation?"

Sarah shook her head firmly. "I assume you're talking about sexual temptation," she said. "Why are you even asking me that? Temptation for Fred Jones? Zero. None. Chuck was being so odd. He said that he wanted me to learn something, so I really tried to stay professional. I learned some things. First, Fred Jones is disgusting. He's a joke. I don't know how I can say it any plainer. Yeah, he's an Intersect. He can probably screw all night leaving you a limp rag doll. That probably impresses you. Go for it. He was maybe my type once. A few years ago it might have been different… now I'm married… to someone who is far too good for me. I've changed my entire outlook, on life really, but especially towards sex. Agent Walker is gone… a bad memory… never to return. I have a soul mate. Fred Jones couldn't carry his socks. The fact that my soul mate can screw all night leaving me a limp rag doll is just a nice bonus. I love every single thing about our life together. I look forward to talking to him and having him make me laugh just as much as I look forward to sex. That's most of what I learned. Chuck, this was for you. You're scaring me. Why are you so messed up?"

Chuck paused for a long moment. "We have a big problem," he said. "I wasn't being honest with you. This mission really isn't about you learning something. It was about us learning something. We're not supposed to tell you. Jones isn't really an Intersect. We just wanted you to think he was. Quinn… umm… when you were captured, he… umm…"

Suddenly the light went on and this made sense. In spite of the ridiculous situation, that got a smile. "Now I get it," Sarah interrupted. "They found Quinn's plans to turn me into his personal sex toy. That's what this is all about. You think that I'm programed. Yeah, trust me, I know all about that. I've heard every lurid detail. He taunted me about it all the time. It's all he ever talked about. He said that I'd become his helpless slave and be on my knees begging him for continuous sex. He kept saying 'you don't get this without an Intersect.' I tease you about that all the time. That's where I heard it."

"You knew?" Carina asked, stunned. "Why didn't you report it? Maybe there was something they could have done."

"I don't want that," Chuck sighed. "At some level, I always knew this was too good to be true. I don't want you to be my controlled sex toy because of any fake Intersect thing. I want you to be free to make your own decisions. That's why we did this, to see how powerful the suggestion is and how to treat it. We're going to have to figure something else out. Why didn't this work?"

Sarah shook her head sadly. She took a long pull from Chuck's bottle of whiskey and ignored the burning in her throat. "This was all a setup?" she asked. "You should have just asked me. Now I remember the whole thing very clearly. He was always bragging about the suggestion and how very powerful it was. I've never wanted to kill anybody so badly in my life. There is little question about it working. I'd probably be happily squirming under Quinn right now… if he ever planted it. Chuck, I didn't expect the retards in the CIA to get this. It's why I never told anyone about it. They wouldn't understand and there was nothing to do anyway. I guess I expected more from you. There is a very good reason why it didn't work with Jones today. I'm not programmed. Quinn talked about it a lot… was counting the minutes… had everything ready to go… but he never actually pulled the trigger."

The light inside Chuck's head went on. "Quinn was never an Intersect," he said. "He was afraid to turn you into an Intersect toy until he was. Who knows what would happen?"

"Exactly," Sarah said. "There is my genius husband. Where have you been? Welcome back. How many horrible details about me have our CIA pals talked you into?"

Carina wasn't having it. "So why are you exhibiting all of the symptoms of the suggestion?" she asked. "You're the exact opposite of the Sarah I know. Let's face it. Sex was always an afterthought for you. Now you're screwing ten times a day? You're suddenly attracted to women? You want to be raped? Sorry, I'm not buying it."

Sarah bristled. "It didn't happen," she insisted. "I really don't give a fuck if you buy it or not. I was there. You're right. I'm different than when you last knew me. Maybe you could go to your team of CIA 'geniuses' and suggest that… when they are trying to figure out what happened about something… they might want to think about asking the person who was there… maybe before they take my husband and scare him to death. They would find out that there is another explanation for why I'm different now… one that makes a hell of a lot more sense than some stupid Intersect brain programming that sounds like it's from a bad science fiction movie."

Sarah took a deep breath and turned to Chuck. "I'm not sure if I should laugh at you, be furious with you, or just start bawling," she said. "I'm leaning towards the latter. I honestly don't know how to get through to you. I know that I'm horrible with words, so I make an extra effort. I tell you that I worship you. I say it multiple times a day. Every time I say it you smile, nod your head, and say it back. But you don't get it, not even close. I'm not being figurative. Let me say this one more time. Please set aside all of that doubt and fear floating around in your head and listen to me for once. I worship you. That's not hyperbole. I don't think you're God, but I do worship you… not because I'm programmed… because I'm in awe. Whatever I can give you, you've fully earned… and it will never be enough. You saved me from my personal hell. You did that by willingly walking into that hell with your eyes open, taking me by the hand, and leading me out. You put up with me long after anyone else would have given up… but you didn't give up. You loved me for me and you fought to prove it, getting nothing in return for years, until even I couldn't deny it."

Sarah paused to take another drink. "You changed who I am inside," she said. "I have something that I never thought possible… had even stopped hoping for… a future. Now I look forward to tomorrow… and next month… and next year. I look forward to that someday soon, we're going to start a family together. I love my life with you even though I know that I don't deserve it. I love every single thing about it. We laugh all day and make love all night. Sometimes we change it up, make love all day… and laugh all night. Even the hint that you're unhappy devastates me. If you don't hear anything else I say, hear this. I would do anything, emphasis on anything, to make you happy. So I guess that I was influenced by Quinn's suggestion, but in the old fashioned way. He got me thinking and opened my eyes."

Sarah paused to gather her composure. "Quinn kept describing all of the disgusting things I'd be doing as his sex toy… in vivid detail," she said. "After I found out the truth about us, I told you that I didn't feel it. Well, I started feeling it… and it sucked. In fact, I had a very bad couple of weeks. What was wrong with me? I was a lone wolf. Here I was desperately missing this guy I had just met… like some sap. All I could think about was seeing him smile. I couldn't explain it… but I knew I belonged beside him. How could that be? Was I really falling in love with this man who I barely knew? That wasn't me. I didn't even believe in love. And this guy? He sure wasn't my type. I'd long ago given up on the fantasy of being swept off my feet by a white knight riding in on a fiery steed. That was good, because the guys who claimed to be that white knight… were basically all creeps after one thing. My guy? If he tried to climb on a fiery steed… he'd probably fall off."

At least that got a smile. "Then I started remembering things," Sarah said. "Slowly at first but gradually faster. It started to make sense. This guy was always underestimated by everyone… including himself. He was… amazing. He put the macho white knights to shame… even without the fiery steed. He was far too good to be true. When I was too messed up to give him more, he didn't pout or move on… he became my best friend… and unconditionally loved me. I remembered how many times he was there for me at the low points when I really needed him… yet had no right to expect it… and how much he loved and fought for me. Even I had to admit… what moron would let an amazing man like this go? If he'd have me, this was someone to hold on to and claim for your own. On that beach, I surrendered to the feeling. There was no way he was leaving without me… whatever it took. The problem was that he was wearing a wedding ring. He was married to someone else… except the 'someone else' turned out to be me. It was all so confusing. I also remembered how big of a bitch I was to him for three long years."

Sarah smiled at his predicable reaction and took another pull from the bottle. "Don't shake your head," she said. "You don't like for me to use that word… especially about myself… but I was there. It's the right word. If anything, it's too tame. This is important. I was struggling. My feelings were growing out of control… and that scared me. I controlled our relationship to protect myself… giving him just enough affection to keep him on the hook. Carina didn't say it so plainly just now, but the Sarah she knew was a bitch."

Carina nodded. "It was her CATs nickname," she agreed.

Sarah basically ignored Carina's shot. "Even worse, I knew I was being a bitch," she said. "When I finally opened up to him, it was in small calculated steps. Even after we officially got together, I insisted that what little sex we had stay ridiculously tame. That caused him to get the wrong impression. Once I had my memories back enough to see it, I could tell that he was messed up for those years. I'd delivered too many hits to his heart… and it had caused real damage. Even after we got married, he was insecure about us… just waiting for me to end it. It was the very last thing he should have been thinking… and it was all my fault. That was devastating. It was beyond unacceptable. This amazing man shouldn't have to wonder and hurt. Anyone else treating him like that would be dealing with me… and the experience wouldn't have gone so good for them. Why shouldn't that same standard apply to me? Actually, more than anyone? I'm his wife. I was honestly ashamed of myself so I took a vow. Things were going to be different. I was going to stop being a bitch and really show him how I felt. I think you understand that when I'm on a quest like that, I go a little crazy."

Sarah smiled again when she saw him finally nod. "But how best to do this?" she asked. "I'm horrible with words. I've said the words. I've even meant them. I can't make him believe them. In fairness, he'd be a moron to believe them. He has years of experience that tell another story. I'd have to make my actions match my words. You know me, I'm a planner. I approach things head on. Being sexy is my main weapon. He's nice and funny. I'm intense and sexy. My problem was he always saw through me when I turned on the Seduction School act and overtly seduced him. He correctly assumed it was mostly fake… and I was after something."

Sarah smiled again. "How could I get him to relax?" she asked. "Maybe the direct approach would work. It was worth a try. After our talk on the beach, we decided that it would be best if I stayed in the guest room for a while. After a few awkward nights of him walking around on eggshells around me, I went to our bedroom and held up my hand so he could see that I'd put on my wedding ring. I hoped he would get what that meant… especially since that was the only thing I was wearing."

Sarah grinned at the memory. "Yup," she said. "Maybe in retrospect, he didn't notice the ring. I stood there naked in the fully lit room posing for him. That was a first for us. I could see in his face how surprised he was. It was so cute. I suggested that we try something. We were married… yet I didn't know him very well. We should just have sex… not make love… screw… let me get to know him with sex. That should have worked. It would have worked with most men… but he wasn't most men. He didn't turn me down, but he was still very cautious. There isn't a selfish bone in his body. The wild sex I had planned turned into making love. It was actually great for me, the best night of my life that I could remember. I got the exciting first…yet he knew exactly how to push my buttons. He was tender and loving, but it wasn't what he needed. For the first time, I stopped biting my lip to keep from moaning. He clearly wasn't expecting that… and it was jarring for him. That made me feel even worse. He was obviously still conditioned to be very careful with me. So strike the direct approach. When that didn't work I was more determined. I had to come up with something to get him over his fear."

Sarah's smile grew a little. "That's when I realized that my plan needed some tweaking and I'd have to be a little deceptive," she said. "I was starting to remember more and more details. He'd balk at this … but the truth is that he was used to being married to the bitch… was conditioned to be very cautious. If he knew what I was trying to do, he'd protest. He was far too sweet to come off as selfish. I could always turn 'Seduction School' and seduce him. I could always get him to be generous and make love. Getting him truly comfortable with pure sex would be a challenge. Then I remembered Quinn. Actually, as disgusting as he was, Quinn taught me something. It was the exact opposite of my seduction training. I was trained to promise a sex toy but not deliver. In this case I needed to deliver without him thinking it was fake. Chuck would want a sex toy, at least sometimes. Most men would. He was just too nice of a guy to ever go there. So I made it my mission to give him one without him knowing. Hopefully I could get him so comfortable that he would loosen up, so I started there."

Sarah started laughing. "But how would I get this nice guy to sit there and let me become his toy without interpreting it as foreplay and trying to be giving?" she asked. "He would never, ever be selfish in bed. So, I used his niceness against him. I put the shy look on my face and admitted that I always had a fantasy and needed his help. I knew he would never refuse me when I put it like that. I said that Bryce was always bitching about the same thing over and over and now it was a challenge. Now that I was married, I wanted to see if I could learn to be good at it."

Sarah started laughing harder. "Sorry," she finally said. "That was a huge load of crap. Well, partly anyway. Bryce did bitch… and bitch… and bitch… but it was something disgusting that I really had no desire to get good at. Carina's right. It wasn't a core competency. Finally, he realized that he didn't have a good excuse so he agreed. He was still cautious… so cute warning me what was about to happen about twenty times. It would be a lie to say I completely enjoyed it. Thankfully he was still catching his breath and didn't notice that my smile as I thanked him after that first time was the forced one from Seduction School. Then again, it wasn't nearly as horrible as I had talked myself into. It was a toy's job one… and he clearly liked it, so that made the decision easy. I was going to give him a toy, even if I had to trick him into accepting it. If I had to beg to get him to allow me to 'practice' multiple times a day… even if it became our entire sex life for a while… he was worth it. I was getting a great deal with this amazing man who honestly loved me and proved it over and over. I don't regret deceiving him at all. I'd do it again tomorrow. He still is worth it… now far more than then."

Chuck shook his head. "I don't want you to do gross things for me," he said.

Sarah, mostly playfully, pressed her finger into his chest. "No kidding?" she asked sarcastically. "You don't ever want me to do anything for you. That's a problem. Have you been listening? I was executing a plan. You are currently standing on some very thin ice." She turned to Carina, handed her the bottle, and watched her take her own long drink. "Your ice is gone and you're treading water. I'm trying to tell my husband something very important. We both know how bad I am at words. But this needs to be said. So I'm not going to stop talking until I'm confident that he understands. I'm going to try hard to get through this without bawling. My strong advice to both of you is to shut the fuck up and listen until I'm done talking. Do we understand each other?"

Chuck knew that she wasn't really kidding, so he nodded.

"Thank you," she said. "We're only halfway through the story. It started off gross. There is no sense trying to deny that. Then again, you obviously enjoyed it. My plan was working. You were worth it. I was on a quest, so I kept at it."

Sarah smiled. "You were skeptical and so cute wondering why I was suddenly so fixated on that particular activity so many times a day," she said. "I spent a lot of time telling you how much fun this was for me. That was, at best, a huge exaggeration. You weren't buying it anyway… so I pulled out my secret weapon. There was no way you could watch me cry and not give in. I was now firmly in control, so you started to accept my 'practicing' without protest. It was probably around the end of the first week when I discovered that maybe my faux enjoyment wasn't all that faux. For something I had considered disgusting and avoided my entire life, this wasn't so bad. I found that I loved making you happy. I was finally giving something instead of always taking. The feeling of seeing you happy was better than sex. I wanted to go farther. I knew that I didn't have much experience. I'm a perfectionist so when you would go out, I would study videos on the internet to improve my performance. As it turns out, it's really easy to find them… and I got some good ideas. Watching porn on the Internet is the only thing I have in common with Lester… well, except I didn't ever do myself a favor."

Sarah smiled at his surprised look. "My quest was going well," she said. "You finally got over your concerns and just allowed me to drive without protest. It actually got a lot easier for me. I learned some things about myself. I was surprised at how much I was enjoying this. I loved being your toy. I wanted to go farther. I started spending more and more play time arousing you first. Acting sexy in Seduction School was hard for me. I had to push myself. It was work. I found that actually being sexy instead of just acting was natural and fun. I wanted to be sexy for you… it was arousing me more than it was you. That was a nice surprise. After a couple of weeks something amazing happened. I found myself perpetually on fire. This was really getting hot. The sex was getting better and better. The thing that had started off as a sacrifice became one of the highlights of my life. That was another nice surprise. I now look forward to leading us into wild sex. I'm telling the truth about that. And even if I wasn't, I can't say this enough. You are worth it."

Sarah's face turned into a grin. "Okay," she said. "I've turned into something of a self-taught sexual expert. I'll bet almost anything that I'm now better at it than Red is. Don't worry. I know both of you are into tests. I'm not suggesting any comparison one be performed."

Sarah was now openly grinning at her mild shot. "Anyway," she said. "I had completed phase one of my quest. He was growing comfortable. I needed to do more. The next step was to see how excited I could get him and how long I could make things last. I've been trained to notice details. I studied his reactions and learned a lot of things. I became something of an expert in arousing him. He likes it when I don't wear a bra and he can see the outline of my chest through my tight shirt. He'll protest at this, but he enjoys the illusion of being in charge. He likes it when I put the bashful look on my face and slowly strip. He really likes my chest. His very favorite thing is when I'm sitting on his lap and we're necking at second base. Fortunately, it's one of my very favorite things too. We do it almost every afternoon and are very, very good at it. We need to do it even more."

Sarah took a breath. "Sex was simply never that important to me," she said. "Suddenly it became very important… the highlight of my life. I found that recreational sex with someone you truly trusted could be exciting beyond belief. That was a first. Fortunately, I was married to someone who could always take my breath away. I can't keep my hands off him. Once he was comfortable, his Intersect made him the perfect sex partner. After he was over his insecurity we kicked into another gear. I became that limp rag doll nightly. I never imagined feelings that intense. He was as dedicated to me as I was to him. He was still a little wary that things had changed that much. I needed to get him out of Burbank and all of that negative baggage. When his sister moved to Chicago, he finally agreed. Once we got to New York, my quest paid off for me. Our sex life went to a new, wonderful level. As much as I thought I was looking out for him… I quickly learned that he was constantly looking out for me even more. I was in heaven. We were perfect together. I can't begin to tell him how much I love him. That's always going to be a problem for me. I use sex instead of words."

Sarah took an even deeper breath. "So now he has an unofficial sex toy that puts anything Quinn imagined to shame," she said. "He'd balk at that description, but it's true. It's what I honestly want to be. The difference is that I'm not an Intersect toy because I'm programmed. I'm a Chuck Bartowski toy because I'm in love. Someday, they are going to take away his Intersect. They're never going to take away his toy. That's a lifetime deal. The irony is that I started this for him… but I'm getting more out of it than he is. Not to brag, but I'm getting pretty good at it. Pretty good has never been good enough for me. I want to be perfect. I'm going to continue to look for new ways to make his life as exciting as I possibly can. My goal is to get him comfortable enough to actually drive sometimes."

Sarah turned to Carina and took the bottle back from her. "You're misinterpreting some things," she said, after taking another drink. "I don't want to be raped. I think it's common for women to have a rape fantasy. The key word being fantasy. I've talked to Chuck about it. We've even talked about using the Intersect to play a role game. I still am hopeful that he gets comfortable enough to surprise me and make it happen sometime. That would be exciting for me… but only because it's pretend… and only with Chuck. It doesn't mean I want to be raped. I'm not sure what Jones was told, but there would be nothing exciting about that. It would be horrible. I told hm that I was going to blow his brains out if he touched me against my will… and I would have."

Sarah paused. "Attracted to women?" she asked. "Where are you even getting that? I'm not attracted to women… other than maybe a normal curiosity. Yeah, I offered to participate with Chuck and Darcy. That offer is still on the table. It wouldn't be exciting for him unless I got into it… so I will… but that doesn't mean I'm suddenly attracted to women. That is just something exciting I want to offer my husband. I've never been bashful about showing men my body. Seduction School made sure of that. Okay, so it's a little different now. I enjoy feeling sexy and teasing the guys by allowing them to think they can see down my shirt… more than I ever did as a spy. Chuck's on board and that makes it fun. We've made it a game. I'm being nicer with Mark… but at some point the other two are going to be sure they are on the path to a kinky conquest… only to get shot down at the worst possible moment. It's a skill I've perfected. Maybe it sounds mean… but they have it coming. They've disrespected my amazing husband. They're getting off easy."

Sarah turned back to Chuck. "So that's my speech," she said. "You asked me to learn something. You weren't being honest but it turned out that I learned something anyway. The irony is that it was something that I already knew. My life is perfect… and that's due to one thing. You're perfect. Even as horrible as today turned out… look what I learned. My amazing husband was willing to face his greatest fear just because he was worried about me. So tell me the truth. Now that you know that this is my choice, you get an honest vote. Do you want to go back to the way I was? Do you prefer the bitch?"

Chuck just looked at her for a long time. Her grin said that the question was rhetorical anyway. "I'm being very careful in how I answer," he said. "I get that you're teasing… but I still don't want to be disrespectful of who we were. It was real. I knew what I was getting with you. You weren't a normal girl. You were this larger-than-life badass who was saving the world. Maybe you weren't open with your feelings… but I was still getting a great deal. I fell in love with the… please don't make me call you that word. I thought that I was happy. Then you changed… seemingly overnight. You're right. At first I was wary. I always thought that my life was good. Now it's amazing. You're larger than life in a fun way. It all just seems too good to be true. It's not only the sex. Don't get me wrong. The sex is… wow… just wow. Now you're so much fun to be around… and not just with me. You always have a grin on your face… always laughing and flirting. You look happy… honestly happy. That's all I ever wanted. My life is perfect. You're perfect. I just didn't want you to be programmed."

Sarah took a long moment to gather her composure. "I don't want to cry," she finally sighed. "We'd stop thinking rationally and just melt… but how can you be so perfect? I've never loved you more than I do right now. You're the only person that I'll always want next to me, much less have sex with. In a way, the CIA retards were right. Chuck, I tell myself that I'd have eventually got there on my own… but Quinn's description of a toy got me thinking. It's even worse than they feared. I'm now an admitted sex addict… but only with you. You're right. It's more than sex. It's everything. I feel like a different person… a happy one. The irony here is that you plainly still feel guilty for some odd reason. Please stop. It's getting in the way. I genuinely love playing the role of your sex toy and getting us both so aroused. My only regret is that being so uptight wasted so many years we'll never get back. If I'm out of control, it's just that I'm having such a great time. I only want you to get as comfortable with this as I am. My biggest thrill will be when you suggest something. Until then, my mission in life will be to find new ways to excite you. Please… Chuck, please tell me that you understand."

Chuck didn't really answer. He just grabbed her and held her tight as the relief washed over him. It felt like heaven. "I didn't know what to do," he sobbed. "They told me that it was all fake… that you were messed up and we had to find out how powerful it was."

Sarah melted into him. "The irony is that the CIA retards are a few years late with their faux concern," she said softly as she held him. "As usual, they have it exactly backwards. I was that messed up bitch for ten years. They didn't seem to mind. They didn't lift a finger to help. In fact, they used it to get me to perform their dirty work for them. Now, in spite of them, I'm cured. My amazing husband cured me. I worship and love my life with him. I'm sorry that I got frustrated barging in her tonight with my hair on fire. You've probably had a few really bad days worrying about me. I'm really sorry about that." She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him tighter… until the soft sobs he was trying to hide subsided. "Thank you for worrying about me," she whispered. "It's all over now. I'm so sorry that it caused you some uncomfortable thoughts. I still may not deserve you… but I am what I am. I love you. I love our life." She wasn't sure how long they stayed that way. All she did know was how wonderful it felt.

Finally Chuck released her. "I do understand what you're saying," he said. "Hopefully you understand that I'm every bit as dedicated to you."

Sarah nodded. "Of course," she said. "I'm not sure why you would even question that. You're the one who started all of this. You loved me when I was the bitch… yelling at you that you were never going to get anything out of it. I've always understood that. I just needed to get over my hang ups and live like it. We're perfect together. It's what I depend on."

"You want me to suggest sex things?" Chuck asked skeptically. "That doesn't sound like you."

Sarah was grinning. "I just gave you a long speech," she teased. "Didn't you hear me? You've changed me. I'm no longer the bitch you married. I'm having a blast as your sex toy. I don't want you to ever do anything except what you want. Then I want you to be comfortable enough to go for it with no reservation or guilt. I'll be right there smiling. If that means I drive… okay. I'm still on a quest. I still want to find new ways to make your life exciting. You need to start believing that."

"I think we need to make a deal," Chuck said. "We don't need to trick each other. We both want the same things. It has to be exciting and fun. I need to know that you'll be honest and tell me if it stops being fun."

"You'll honestly take charge and tell me what you want?" Sarah asked. "Since when? What brought this on?"

Chuck laughed. "Like I have a prayer of talking you out of this," he said. "You want me to be comfortable. I'm not complaining, but I'm not sure how I can find the time for any suggestions. You're keeping us pretty busy. For the record, I'm having a blast too. As long as you're going to be my sex toy anyway, I might as well stop making you guess wrong."

Chuck looked at the look of despair on her face. "This is something that has to change," he said. "I see your face. Don't ask me to be comfortable and make suggestions and then take everything I say as some sort of criticism. I think you're perfect. There is not a single thing about you that I would change. You couldn't possibly know details of what I find exciting because I haven't told you. I've left you to guess."

Sarah finally nodded. "You have a point," she said. "I'm too sensitive. It's a side effect of the guilt of being that bitch for so long. I'm trying hard to let it go… but if you ever said an honest harsh word to me, I'd be devastated. I'll work on it. Of course, you can make suggestions. It's not even the right word. Teach me the details of what you want. I promise to accept it and learn how to serve you better. When have I guessed wrong?"

"Darcy," Chuck said. "Other people. I'm not talking about your mission with Mark. That's fake. Do what you have to do. Don't worry about me. I'm enjoying watching him make a fool of himself. It's just… I get that you think you're giving me Darcy as a present. It would be a lie for me to say that I don't recognize that she's gorgeous. All of our friends are. You're lining them up for me… separately or in small groups. Here is what you don't understand. If I'm ever with another woman, it would take time away from being with you. That's a terrible trade… one that I would never willingly make. I love every second with you. I'm not about to give up a single one of them. I get to make love multiple times a day with my wife who is also my best friend and is constantly looking for new ways to make things exciting. How does it get better than that? It's just a bonus that the love making often turns into kinky sex… and I find myself playing erotic games with the most beautiful woman in the world. So please stop trying to find me other women. My life is perfect. That's not a husband line or some fake flattery to butter you up. That's how I honestly feel."

Carina started laughing. "Wow," she said. "Good answer."

Sarah could feel her lip quivering and her attempt to keep from crying was over. Now it was her turn to grab him and sob softly into his chest. They stayed in their embrace even longer than before.

Chuck rubbed her back as she sobbed.

"She's right," Sarah finally said. "It was such a good answer. I have to tell you, you pick the darndest times to get all romantic. Surely you understand that you just lit a short fuse. What are you going to do about it?"

"I do have a suggestion or two for my new toy," Chuck teased. "Those flannel pajamas are pretty sexy."

"Right," Sarah teased. "Now you're just being silly."

"You didn't let me finish," Chuck insisted. "Those pajamas are just as sexy as a negligee… when it's laying on the floor. First, we need to take care of business. What is Agent Jones' status? He's probably pretty confused."

That got Sarah snickering into his chest. "Confused?" she asked. "He's probably just waking up right about now and wondering what hit him."

Chuck turned to Carina. "Maybe you could go explain things to him," he said. "After that… well use your own judgement."

Carina shook her head. "I'm not a consolation prize," she said. "I'll tell him the mission is over. I'll call Beckman and brief her."

Chuck turned to Sarah. "Since you're in a good mood, would it be okay for me to give your BFF here a hug without incurring your jealous wrath? I think we've become friends. She did get me through this."

Sarah shook her head. "How about I give her a hug on your behalf?" she suggested playfully. "I'm afraid that's as far as I can go."

That got them laughing again. "Red," Sarah said as they embraced. "It's always interesting. Maybe you can come and see us in New York… without the drama."

"I have an idea," Carina replied. "Maybe we can take Party-Sarah dancing. I'd love to see her new attitude with the pretty boys constantly hitting on her. That promises to be interesting. So, what are you two going to do tonight?"

"We're going home," Chuck said.

Sarah sighed into his chest. "I wish we could," she said. "This place is creepy. I can't fly us home tonight. I've just been drinking. The rule is eight hours from bottle to throttle."

"That's okay," Chuck said. "We can spend the night in our jet. It's pretty comfortable for the series of suggestions I have in mind. We have to deal with those pajamas. Tell me. Is there any rule about flying naked?"

That got Sarah laughing again. "Probably," she said. "There are books and books of them. Fortunately, that kind of rule, I'm very willing to ignore. Was thinking of suggestions really so hard?"

That got them all laughing. Chuck stood and pulled Sarah to her feet. "You have to admit," he said.

"It's a good life."

x-x-x-x-x

The End

A/N: Yeah, there is more of this story that could be told. I think that I've dealt with the main issue.

We always knew that interest in Chuck fanfic would fade away. Frankly I'm surprised that it's taken this long. The show has been off the air for twice as long as it was on. Even if there was ever a movie, the actors have aged to the point where it would be hard to pick up the story where it left off… and that's probably the only story I would be interested in.

I still have many snippets of story ideas that have never made it to being polished enough to publish. There's just no longer the interest to justify the work it would take. That's as it should be. Maybe I'll put them on LiveJournal as is for anyone who is interested.

This is probably a good place to stop. Thanks for reading. More than that, thanks for being such a big part of my life for the past fifteen years. I never dreamed of getting one percent of the amazing support I've gotten over those years.

I'll miss you.