Bella: So, since Victoria's still hunting me, maybe you should…you know…
Edward: Know what?
Bella: Change me.
Edward: Why would I do that?
Bella: Maybe to make it significantly harder for her to kill me.
Edward: Silly Bella, there's only one of her, and seven of us. Not to mention I can read the minds of anyone nearby, Alice can see the future as long as it doesn't involve werewolves, and Jasper can control emotions, thereby removing her bloodlust, and the werewolves won't let her get past their land without a fight, so it'd be very difficult for her to actually do anything by herself. She'd need an entire army of vampires to get you.
Bella: I suppose that sounds very unlikely…wait, hasn't there been a murder spree in Seattle recently?
Edward: I fail to see how that's relevant.
Bella: Just thinking…
Edward: Anyway, you have nothing to worry about.
Bella: But what if…
Edward: Nothing. To worry about. At all. But just in case, maybe you shouldn't go to La Push for a little while.
Bella: Why?
Edward: Because we can protect you on this side of the line, and the wolves can protect you on their side of the line, but if she knows that and ambushes you in between, there's nothing either of us can do.
Bella: Seems like it'd be smarter to just scrap the whole border thing until Victoria's dead. I mean, both sides want to protect me, and she seems aware of the rivalry and therefore knows how to exploit it, so wouldn't it make more sense to just work together to stop her?
Edward: Silly Bella, that's not how vicious rivalries work.
Bella: True, but it's also how stupidity works.
*later*
Bella: Okay, Edward's off hunting with Jasper and Emmett, and Alice will know if I try and do anything. I guess that's why they're fine with not guarding me while I go to work, because apparently I still have a job *enters the building*
Mike: …and I say I'm an adult and can make my own decisions, mum.
Mrs. Newton: Don't take that tone with me, I'm saying you and Tyler can't go to Seattle until the serial killer is caught or dead, and I'll make sure Tyler's mum does the same with him.
Mike: Okay, seriously mum, what are the chances me and Tyler, two healthy and strong young men, will not only come across a serial killer, but both be killed by him in such a big city?
Mrs. Newton: Statistically, not likely. However, I'm a worried mother, therefore that multiplies the chances by about a million percent, making it beyond a certainty.
Mike: But…
Mrs. Newton: NO BUTS!
Bella: Um…hi?
Mrs. Newton: Go home, Bella. I'm trying to make my son see why it's stupid to go to a city full of serial killers.
Mike: I'm pretty sure there's just one, not a city full of…
Mrs. Newton: Yep, Seattle's just a full-on Hunger Games right now.
Mike: That doesn't exist yet.
Mrs. Newton: Battle Royale then *sees Bella* You're still here?
Bella: …I'm going to go now *walks outside* Well, since I've suddenly got a day off, I'm gonna go see Jacob *suddenly feels her phone go off* That's probably Alice.
Alice's text: Bella, I swear to God if you go to La Push, I'm going to tell Edward, since I'm not close enough to stop you.
Bella: Well, in that case, I'm definitely going.
*at the Cullen's house*
Alice: Edward's not going to like this. He'll be so mad, he'll…probably just give me a stern finger wagging.
*in La push*
Billy: Holy shit, a vampire.
Bella: Not yet I'm not.
Billy: But you're still hanging around them?
Bella: Duh.
Billy: *sigh* You know that's not a good idea, right?
Bella: Look, I've already got one hunting me, what's the worst that could happen?
Billy: You WHAT?!
Jacob: Hey Bella, you snuck out I see.
Bella: I guess you could call it that.
Billy: Is no-one going to explain the whole "hunted by a vampire thing?"
Jacob: Wanna go for a walk?
Bella: Sure *leaves with Jacob*
Billy: So we're just going to ignore the "hunted by a vampire" comment?
*while on the walk*
Jacob: So, what happened when you left with the leech to save your boyfriend? …sorry, Sam asked us to say that about them.
Bella: Well, since Edward thought I was dead, he decided to ask the Volturi to kill him. Me and Alice had to go to Italy to tell him to stop, and then the Volturi captured us. Then, since I'm not a vampire but know about vampires, they decided I had to die, but Alice convinced them not to.
Jacob: What's the Volturi?
Bella: Basically the vampire government.
Jacob: Uh huh. And how did she convince them?
Bella: …uhh…she just did?
Jacob: Oh, okay. So that's it, is it?
Bella: What's it?
Jacob: Everything's just going to go back to the way it was before they left?
Bella: I mean, yeah? Why wouldn't it?
Jacob: Well, Sam's going to be disappointed.
Bella: Why? What did he think would happen?
Jacob: Well, I mean, after Edward abandoned you in the woods, he thought you'd hate them.
Bella: Nah.
Jacob: And you're sure you're not into someone more…human?
Bella: What, you mean like Mike Newton?
Jacob: I meant me.
Bella: Aren't you a werewolf?
Jacob: Oh, right…can I see your boobs?
Bella: And that's my cue to leave *leaves*
Jacob: Damn, so close.
Bella: *further away* No you weren't.