Bella: What do you mean you're still having the graduation party?
Edward: Oh, come on, like an imminent demise is any reason to cancel a party.
Alice: If anything, it's even more reason to have a party.
Bella: I mean, I guess, but still…
Alice: What are you even worried about?
Bella: The fact that you're planning to go up against about a dozen or so newborn vampires when there's only seven of you.
Edward: Well, it's not like we can really even the odds.
Bella: You could turn me into a newborn to balance things out.
Edward: Hmm…nah.
Alice: Besides, Jasper's reaching out to some old friends to see if they'll help.
Bella: What, like Maria?
Alice: …I mean, we'd prefer not to, but if we need the help…
Bella: And these friends…are they…
Alice: No, they are not vegetarian. They will likely kill people.
Bella: Good to know you're willing to let other humans die to save yourselves.
Edward: Hey, it's not like we're the ones killing them.
Bella: Not directly at least.
Alice: Also, your mum's not coming to the party.
Bella: Really? Why not?
Alice: Phil broke his leg playing baseball.
Bella: …how?
Alice: By plot convenience, that's how.
Bella: Ah, that'd do it.
Edward: Anyway, me, Carlisle, Esme, and Rose are going off to feed. Need to make sure we're big and strong for the upcoming battle.
Bella: So I should go down to La Push and hang out with Jacob while you're away?
Alice: We were thinking more that me, Jasper and Emmett could…
Edward: No, this is an even better idea. Bella should totally hang out with my BFF.
Bella: I seriously don't get how you two can be friends.
Edward: I told you Bella, it's Sam's fault that we can't hang out when we want.
Bella: No, it's not. I've literally established this with him.
Edward: Yeah, but me and Jacob want to blame someone, and Sam seems like the most likely person to be blamed.
Bella: When'd you guys decide that?
Edward: Oh, we text ach other all the time *Edward's phone goes off, which he looks at and chuckles to himself* Jacob just sent me one of those Barbie mugshot memes but with Team Rocket instead of Barbie and Ken.
Bella: Were you aware they were like this?
Alice: Were you not aware?
Bella: *sigh* Let's just skip to La Push then.
*later, in La Push*
Bella: *entering the Black house* Hey Jacob, what's… *sees Jacob asleep on the couch* Really dude? At noon?
Jacob: *suddenly awake* Huh? What the? Hi Bella, when'd you get here?
Bella: Literally just now. Why are you so tired?
Jacob: I've been keeping watch on your house every night, just in case that unknown vampire comes back.
Bella: Didn't Sam tell you to stop doing that?
Jacob: He did.
Bella: And?
Jacob: I didn't.
Bella: You know there's about half a dozen known and trustworthy vampires already guarding me, right?
Jacob: Yeah, but…okay, promise not to freak out, okay?
Bella: I will make no such promise.
Jacob: Okay. Bella…I love you.
Bella: Yeah, I know, as a friend.
Jacob: No, I mean…can I explain it next chapter?
Bella: Is there extensive backstory attached to it? Because we've had that like three times in this book so far.
Jacob: I make no such promise.
Bella: Well, fuck.