Elliot had just drifted off when he was jolted awake.
"Elliot! Please! Please. Make it stop. I can't. I can't."
Elliot was awakened from his sleep to the sound of Olivia's frantic cries. He immediately jumped from the couch and bound into her room.
She laid there tossing in what looked like a fitful sleep. She whimpered. "No." She mumbled. "Stop." Tears started streaming down her face.
Elliot knew a PTSD nightmare when he saw one. He was plagued with them for months after Kathy's death.
"I need you." Her voice cried. "Elliot where are you?" Her voice seemed to drop in defeat, "where are you?"
Elliot felt his stomach knot. She was having flashbacks. Flashbacks that included his absence. He couldn't take it anymore.
"Liv." He stated softly. He didn't want to startle her. He knelt beside her bed. " Hey Liv!" He said a little louder.
He gently grasped her upper arm and shook it gently. "Olivia!" Suddenly her eyes popped open laced with terror. Immediately her arms flew around him, clinging desperately to his toned form. He heard her shaky breaths coming in and out. Elliot tightened his arms around her.
"Hey, hey," he whispered gently, "I'm here. I'm right here."
"El?" She asked.
"I'm here Liv."
"I need you." She tugged on his arms pulling him into her bed.
Elliot heart pumped so loudly he worried she would hear it. He shifted his weight and pulled her back to his chest. He placed his arms around her with one threading beneath hers and resting on her lower abdomen.
"Tighter," she begged.
He was careful to not put too much pressure in her healing ribs as he tightened his hold on her. It took a minute but her breathing slowed into a calm rhythm. He knew the pressure was likely soothing, and was helping her to feel grounded.
He tried to not let he thoughts or his hands wander, but pressed impossibly close to him was the woman he loved. His stomach turned as he remembered her crying out for him. What happened? Guilt flooded his mind as he realized that whatever happened to her was complicated further by his absence. She needed him, and he never came.
He shifted his weight slightly so he could tuck her head beneath his chin. He relaxed his grip on her, and let his fingers lightly wander from her hips to her belly button. The sensation filled him with fire, but he knew not to push it further. She said she needed time. He could give her time, but it was painfully difficult to hold her in this way without pushing the boundaries she clearly set. He brought his hand back to her hips and was startled to feel a raised scar. Her shirt had lifted slightly and just below the hem he felt a two inch scar. It was large and wide. The edges were crisp. It was almost as if someone had branded her with some sort of metal object. He immediately shuddered. What hell had he left her to suffer?
Sleep evaded him. The combination of overpowering guilt and outright desire made sleep impossible to achieve. He allowed himself to watch her sleep.
Ten years had not diminished her beauty. Back then he couldn't stare the way he could now. She was his best friend, and He was married. As much as he tried not to notice her soft curves or nice ass it was impossible not to. She turned heads wherever she went. She still did.
He shifted his weight slightly and she mumbled and sighed. She wiggled closer to him and he again tightened his arms around her. He tried to savor the moment, knowing she would probably withdraw from him in the morning. Here and now, in her quiet vulnerability she allowed him to be there for her. He promised himself that from now on he would always show up. He would be what she needed, whatever that might be.