Paint and Powder

A Star Trek anthology by Andrew Joshua Talon

DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Star Trek: The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager et al are the property of CBS Television, and creation of Gene Roddenberry. Please support the official release.

Set after "Message in a Bottle."

Prometheus had a difficult time relating to other ship AIs. Mainly because he was new, brand new, and... Well... He was male, and the vast majority of them were female. It wasn't that he disliked females, persay, it was just a little hard to relate to them on some matters. It also didn't help that some among Starfleet Command were still leery of dedicated warships-Even in the middle of a war.

Still, he did have one advocate he could trust. One friend, and that was his captain: Robert Adams.

His captain was also young, at least for a captain. He'd received a field promotion for keeping his crew alive and destroying a Jem'hadar cruiser during a battle aboard the USS Thunderbolt. He'd received command of the Prometheus with his old crew from the Thunderbolt, and they had been assigned to the Ninth Fleet.

At the moment, Prometheus was sitting with his captain at the Replimat. They were eating some old fashioned burgers, something hearty and delicious. It appealed to Prometheus in a strange, unconscious way. He supposed his creator, Doctor Matsunaga, had given him that.

"Man, this is kind of overwhelming," Prometheus said. Adams nodded.

"I don't disagree," he said, "but hey: The war needs us. The Federation needs us."

Prometheus shook his head.

"Oh no, not that stuff," he said. He gestured out to all the shipgirls out and about on the Promenade. "All of that!"

"Oh yeah," Adams chuckled, "yeah, that can be a bit much to process."

Prometheus adjusted his jacket over his holoemitter.

"Yeah, that's why I'm keeping it quiet," Prometheus said. "I'm keeping it hidden."

"You don't want to bond with your fellow AIs?" Adams chuckled. Prometheus shrugged.

"I... I wouldn't know what to say," he said. "I just want to wait until I'm ready, ya know?"

"You coordinated just fine in combat," Adams pointed out.

"Yeah," Prometheus said, "but that's different. Out there, we're warships. In here, we're... Ya know..." He shrugged, "humanoids. And... That's weird."

Adams nodded.

"I suppose so," Adams replied.

Prometheus puffed himself up.

"Besides, what do I want with socializing with a bunch of girls?" He asked, smiling confidently, "I'm the great Prometheus! I go on lone, deep space tactical missions! I get in and get out by myself! I have to be stoic and focused!"

"Hello Prometheus!" A lyrical female voice said softly, from behind. Prometheus stood up straight, and looked back over his shoulder. He turned bright red.

The Enterprise avatar stood there, smiling warmly at him.

"Ah... Uh... H-Hi Enterprise," Prometheus managed, "Um, it's... It's gr-great to meet you!"

"Likewise!" Enterprise said cheerfully, giving him a big hug, "you did so well on those strike missions!"

"I... I couldn't have done it w-without your targeting data," Prometheus stuttered. Adams hid his mouth with his drink, sipping it, but his eyes were smiling. Enterprise patted him on the back.

"Keep up the good work, Prometheus! Oh-Can I call you Prommie? I want to give you a nickname-I give my friends nicknames, and we're friends since we've fought together!"

"Th-That sounds great!" Prometheus managed, "I-I love being called Prommie! You-You can call me anything you like!"

Enterprise laughed and ruffled his blue hair affectionately.

"Aw, you're great Prommie," Enterprise said, "keep up the good work! We'll win this war soon with ships like you! And your captain!"

"Thank you ma'am," Adams said with a nod, now hiding his smile with his hand.

Enterprise kissed the top of Prometheus's head.

"I'll see you later!" She said happily. She got up and walked off, Prometheus watching her go, his entire face burning red.

"Stoic and focused, huh?" Adams asked.

"Sh-Shut up!" Prometheus growled. Adams chuckled.

"You sure were focused: Focused on her, real hard."

"Just-It was nothing!" Prometheus protested.

As Adams continued to laugh, his ship's avatar groaned and slammed his head into the table... Right into his burger. He looked up, his face covered in ketchup and mustard. He stared, mortified, as Enterprise looked back.

Enterprise smiled and waved her hand back at him, before turning back to laugh with her fellow sisters.

Prometheus immediately covered his face, walked to the nearest support bulkhead, and began beating his forehead against it. Adams just chuckled and sipped his root beer.

"Whatever you say... Prommie."

"Arrrrrggghhhh!"

Because hey, there have to be a few ship boys... An omake by HandlewithCare.

It was still unclear why the majority of Ship-AIs tended to be female.

There was nothing in their core programming suggesting why that should be so.

There were exceptions to the rule, however.

The entire Prometheus line for instance chose male Avatars. And no one knew why.

Picard: enters stellar catagrophy Enterprise, I need...

He sees a whole bunch of Ship Girls watching something on the monitor, giggling

Enterprise: Oh, Captain! Excuse us we were just...reviewing the file of one of our newest...colleagues

A holo stands in the room, a young, powerfully build human male, staring outward with a confident smile.

Muscular, broad shoulders, grey eyes.

To his shock Picard sees his ship blushing.

Enterprise: Uhm. It's one of the new Prometheus class ships. The Balance of Judgement.

Excelsior: Very well designed...ship.

Akira: HE'S MINE, HE JUST DOESN'T KNOW IT YET!

Everyone looks at her disturbed

Picard: I...see.

Andromeda Ascendend: appears High guys!

Enterprise: Hi Rommie! How are you?

Andromeda Ascendent had been stuck for a century or two in null time, thanks to the usual shenanigans befalling Starfleet ships and had only recently been installed in a new frame.

Andromeda: Oh fine, just wanted to tell you in person that I will get my shakedown cruise soon. A joint mission...with the Balance of Judgement

Enterprise: gasp You bitch!

Other AIs have to hold back the Akira

Akira: SCRATCHYOURFUCKINGEYESOUTPIECEOFTRASH...

Andromeda: Bye bye! vanishes

Picard: rubs his eyes, turns to walk back out Carry on