Chapter 10

"Peyral!" S'rrona called. She stormed up the slight slope of the incline, jogging a little to catch up with her friend. When she was in reach, S'rrona grabbed Peyral's arm and pulled her back. Peyral swung around, coming almost nose-to-nose with her. S'rrona's ears flattened, and she took a step back, bowing her head. The smell of the dinner resonated in the air and the caving hunger within S'rrona felt almost endless. "What is the matter?"

"You introduced him to the clan," she hissed. "That is the matter, S'rrona. How foolish must you truly be?"

S'rrona opened her mouth to speak, but her tongue felt dry. She tried to gather as much spit as possible before she started. "It's been seven weeks, Peyral. How long are we going to carry on like he is not one of us?"

"Forever, because he is not one of us!" She snapped and the bite of her words bounced off the cave walls. S'rrona turned back to see a few eyes watching her, but they returned to their conversations when they all met gazes. Peyral didn't seem to care if the clan could hear her, however. "We as a people have survived this long because we didn't allow Outsiders to become Insiders. And you want to change that!"

"He is one person—"

"Who comes from a clan of many!" She spat. "You have rarely been out of the cave on a clear sunny day, and you have never been off the island; but I have. I know about clans that are not our own, many of them have upwards to a couple hundred people. Some, a thousand. And we—only 200. Including children."

S'rrona didn't look Peyral in the eye; in the last seven weeks, she has seen a side of her friend that she had rarely ever seen, and never directed at her. Peyral was hard on Vrrtep, being the best and one of few warriors the clan had, but with S'rrona, she was a guide. An advisor. Now…she was someone who rejected the teachings of the ancestors. "What about kindness?"

S'rrona watched as Peyral's bandaged feet took a step forward. "But never to our detriment…look at me!" And she did. Peyral's eyes blazed, her tail whipping behind her, cutting through the wind so fast and hard, that S'rrona could hear it. "You a Tsahik. The Great Mother blessed you with this role and even though it came to you very early and you had to learn what to do, does not make you any less responsible for this clan. Your mother was a Tsahik, and her mother, and her mother. Act like one. For 500,000 years we have been like this, and nothing has gone wrong." Something caught Peyral's attention behind S'rrona because her gazed shifted a little before refocusing on her own. "Throw him out."

Peyral nodded to S'rrona before turning around and leaving. A gentle wind drifted in from the cave mouth, carrying with it, the enticing smell of roasted meat…and something else. The faint scent of spring water and musk. S'rrona didn't need to turn around to know Miles stood behind her.

He said something that ended with a question, but when she didn't respond or look at him, he rounded her to stand in her line of sight. He repeated what he said. His eyes were kind, small for his face, but a kind sort of yellow. She didn't respond, mainly because she had not an idea what he said, but a part of her thought about what Peyral said. What if Miles did bring trouble to her people?

What if I'm making a mistake?

That thought was shot away when Miles' wrapped her hands in his, or as much as possible, her long fingers broke through the small opening his palms made. He had such small hands. Those eyes were more pleading now, searching her face for something. S'rrona opened her mouth to say something-

500,000 years…

S'rrona slid her hands out of Miles'. She placed a hand to her chest and bowed before walking away, leaving him standing there on the slope alone. Suddenly, the smell of the food didn't strike hunger into her heart anymore. All S'rrona wanted to do was sleep.

S'rrona sat on her nest steps, watching the village children as they played, they waved to her, sometimes coming up to chat about childish things that were important to them, but S'rrona couldn't care less about, but still, she listened. She sat, listening to the stream as if flowed. She didn't feel like hunting today, she didn't feel like talking to many people today, so after she was done with her Tsahik duties, she sat in her nest, the flap open just in case someone needed her. Peyral had gone on a hunt with the last of the hunting party, so S'rrona didn't expect to see her for most of the day. That was fine, she was tired of fighting with her over the same thing. S'rrona watched as Peyral connected with Great Mother at their Hometree earlier in the day, like she always did, every morning, and prayed that it wouldn't be a long communion. It was not and after the blessing, S'rrona found herself almost anticipating her friend's departure.

She hated feeling like that, it was cruel… but Peyral could be cruel, too… maybe if she was more like Peyral, so S'rrona could be as definitive in the things she believed in like her was.

S'rrona hadn't seen Miles that day, but that was by design. She would close her nest flap when she saw him coming or not answer when he tapped on the stone wall by the flap. If he walked past her and she couldn't hide, she would look the other way. Anything to not interact with that man.

She felt awful about it. It wasn't in her nature to ignore someone, especially someone who needed her. She was Tsahik, that was like ignoring a member of her clan—it was unheard of, but he wasn't a member of her clan, and the longer he was here, alone, with no one coming for him, he may not have been a member of any clan anymore. S'rrona could not imagine not looking for tribesmen if they were lost. This world was scary as a unit, as an individual, it would be terrifying.

The sun began to set on the outside world by the time S'rrona pushed off her steps and wandered around the village. People had come to her today, seeing guidance and prayer and blessings, and she gave willingly, barely fumbling over the words. She might be getting better at this role than she previously thought.

When the sun's rays were only a stroke of paint on an otherwise dark canvas, S'rrona slipped out of the cave and deep into the forest. The cool wind of a late summer's night chilled her skin, and she regretted not taking her shawl with her. Little bugs could be heard singing to each other in the tall grass only stopping when she brushed past. She was light on her feet, as they all were when venturing out. They wanted no problems with the creatures of the outside world. They never did.

"As long as the People respected the creatures, the creatures will respect the People," she remembered that from her father. "For the most part," he would add after and that always got a bubbling of giggles out of S'rrona.

The stars were little windows to another world, like the many eyes of Eywa, as her mother would call them. They were always watching, always taking notes on how they treated Pandora. Her people believed that the Great Mother's first priority was Pandora itself. Her trees growing like hair on heads, her rivers running through her like veins under skin, her life blood. Everything that Pandora grew was her priority, that was why she was indifferent to the people.

"The Great Mother plays no favorites, Child," her mother told her.

But this line of thought begged the question: weren't the Na'vi also grown on Pandora? Were we not part of her life blood?

S'rrona did not like questions like these; it hurt her head and made her think other things that people would not like from a Tsahik…but she often couldn't stop thinking about. Like, why didn't the Great Mother talk to everyone the way she was supposed to talk to the Tsahik? Why did S'rrona have to be the mouthpiece? What made her so special? Or, why did children die before they had a chance to live? Why did she have to hold more mothers screaming from the bottom depths of grief more than she held mothers crying from joy? Or why—

S'rrona shook her head. Stop it, S'rrona, it is not your job to question Eywa.

She pushed through a horde of thick bushes, feeling the mossy ground squish between her toes. She'd travelled this road many times before; she could find where she was going with her eyes closed if she needed to. As the sun went down, the gentle lights of the plants around came out. The leaves glowed faint colors of blue and white, shifting colors and hues when she touched them. Rocks glowed a light yellow and the grass lit up as she stepped on it.

Nighttime was the best time to be awake on Pandora. S'rrona thought about convincing her People to be night dwellers so they could enjoy the dark secrets Pandora had to offer. like how the hoot birds suddenly became songbirds or the rushing water of the nearby waterfall seemed to be calling out to her, or how the fish in the babbling brook jumped and leaped, putting on a show for an audience of one. But mostly because the night was peaceful. During the day, she could barely stand the sun, with its bright rays and strong heat, everything hurt, but when the moons were out…the world was hers.

S'rrona stood in the middle of a clearing top of a hill. She could see the ocean crash against the black sands of her shore. She came up here a lot with her parents and later with her friends when they were younger. She still came up here when she needed to think or wanted to look at something beautiful. The trees swayed in the slight breeze that came off the ocean, the smell of saltwater coming with it.

S'rrona put her hands on her hips, scanning the tree line. Where are you…? When she didn't find what she was looking for, she put two fingers to her lips and blew. A low and long whistle came out followed by seconds of silence.

A crack… Another crack…

A smile started to spread on her face as she turned around.

"Zaka!" S'rrona said softly, walking up to greet her Eagleon. "Zaka!"

The mighty beast jumped around, its tongue out from either the heat or happiness, or maybe both, S'rrona wasn't sure. She lifted her hands up and its massive head touched her. Zaka's fur was the color of ash and soot, a deep grey with splotches of black and white that looked as if paint was thrown against a canvas. He smelled like the trees, like the ocean, like the summer heat and volcanic ash. His little freckles did something not many people in her clan could do, glow. S'rrona wondered if he had a steady diet of the night flower, which is what they had to eat for them to glow. He was beautiful. It wasn't unheard of for her people to tame beasts, her father had an Eagleon as well and her maternal grandfather had an ikran, her mother said, but more so, her people didn't care to do it as much. It was just something that the heir and their immediate circle did.

But as S'rrona rubbed Zaka down, she highly recommended going to the valley and taming an Eagleon…or going up to the mountaintops and taming a banshee if one dared. S'rrona did not dare because she did not like heights.

"Wanna go for a run?" Zaka shook his head, and the movement traveled all the way down his body. He bowed, his long tail thrashing in the wind. "Let us go!"

Zaka kneeled and S'rrona mounted him. She pulled her queue and slowly guided it to Zaka's queue. Once the connection was made, she felt herself shift from who she was alone, just S'rrona, to who she was as a pair, S'rrona and Zaka. She could see what Zaka saw, a world of vibrant blues and purples and whites. She could feel the heat of thrill and excitement course through Zaka's body and thus coursing through her own. She figured he could see and feel what she could see and feel, it wasn't as though they traded places, but…as if they were seeing both at the same time. A connection so strong that it would take death to break.

"Aye Aye!" S'rrona gently pressed her heels against Zaka's sides. He lurched forward and began to walk around the clearing, once, twice, thrice. S'rrona positioned and repositioned herself on her steed, gripping the thick dark mane for support. S'rrona turned Zaka towards the trees, going back from where she came. She only stopped to grab the harness she hung on the branches.

Wind rushed past S'rrona's face! Her heart thumped like a war drum, thrill, and excitement coursing through her. Faster, that was her thought, and she squeezed her legs together. Zaka moved faster, his feet beating against the ground, sounding like thunder. S'rrona lowered herself further onto Zaka as he crashed through the branches and trees and came back up when they were out in the opening.

Where are we going, that was Zaka's thought. I really don't care as long as we run together.

S'rrona's heart warmed, feeling heavy in her chest. "It has been so long, my friend," she rubbed his neck.

She had no destination in mind, just the need for speed. Meet my friends!

"Friends?"

Friends. Meet. At waterfall.

S'rrona looked at the sky. The moons were starting to pass each other. She wondered if Peyral was back yet, and if she was, she wondered if she noticed she was gone. S'rrona didn't care too much, she was happy to be away from it all. The clan, the People, Miles, Peyral—

Zaka made a noise and a wave of bitter concern and annoyance coursed through her. S'rrona rubbed his neck again.

"Sorry friend," she whispered. "I'm just…tired. All the time."

What is the matter?

S'rrona sighed and straightened. Zaka slowed to a gallop as they wind their way through the dense trees. S'rrona lowered herself again, but still felt the sharp scratches of the branches as they whipped at her. A warm feeling of guilt ran through Zaka and She rubbed his neck again.

They reemerged at the base of the waterfall. The shifting colors of the water as it fell from a great height and crashed at the bottom was the first thing she noticed. The second was the sweet smell of the fruits that hung from the trees around them, and S'rrona pulled from. She wiped the fruit on her arm and bit into it, crisp sound making a playful feeling of greed run through her.

S'rrona sighed and gave Zaka the rest of the fruit.

"You're so greedy…" she said in mock annoyance. "You didn't want it until I had it. You live out here, you could just eat it at any time."

The third thing she noticed was the small herd of other Eagleon drinking at the base of the waterfall. They looked up sharply to stare at Zaka and S'rrona as they approached, but slowly went back to their business when Zaka grunted at them.

"Friends of yours?"

Friends.

S'rrona took in the beautiful colors, the reds, the whites, the blacks, and greys. Some had horns on their heads, others didn't—meaning that at least one of their parents didn't have horns. They all glowed under the stars. The last thing S'rrona noticed was Peyral standing in the water, a bucket in her hand as she wiped down her Eagleon. Zaka stopped in his stride and Peyral's Eagleon looked up and glanced at both S'rrona and Zaka. She was still attached to her beast, even as she bathed it.

"I came out here to avoid you…" S'rrona said bluntly. "And here you are."

Peyral narrowed her eyes. "I was here first." She was here first. S'rrona eyed Zaka, who looked away. "Are you going to dismount, or just stand there and look at me? I have a second bucket with a rag if you want to wipe Zaka down."

I don't want to bathe.

"He doesn't want to bathe," S'rrona said.

Peyral clicked her tongue and continued to wipe down her Eagleon, who was just as beautiful as the rest of them.

"I sometimes forget that Zaka is young."

"Or your beast is old…" Peyral looked at S'rrona, a small grin spreading across her face.

"She wants you to know that she does not take kindly to you calling her old," Peyral said.

S'rrona slid off Zaka, landing in the water. She could hear the braying calls of the other Eagleons and the surge of respectful impatience rush through as he silently waited for them to stop talking. S'rrona detached herself from her beast and swam to shore. The water was warm, the heat coming from the volcano in the distance.

"When was the last time the volcano erupted?" She asked Peyral, taking a seat on the dense grass.

Peyral shrugged a little. "Much longer before our births and the births of our parents and their parents and their parents and—"

"Thank you, Peyral, I understand."

Peyral grunted a laugh. "Came for a run, did you?"

"Did you?"

Peyral nodded. "I did."

"Stress?" Another nod from Peyral. "Lover's quarrel?"

Peyral's face scrunched up and she shook her head. "M'Baka and I are fine. Mates stick together. Always." S'rrona sighed and fell against the grass. "That is not a slight; you're time will come." The thick splash of water and the soft whispers of Peyral to her Eagleon were the only sounds for a few seconds. Peyral took a seat next to S'rrona and looked out at the dark forest. "I'm worried about you, S'rrona."

"Me?"

"You."

S'rrona sat up and looked at her friend, her eyes narrowed. "Why me?"

"Because you are so young—"

"I'm only five years younger than you and three years younger than Vrrtep!"

"Because you are so young and you have the world on your shoulders," Peyral pushed through.

"Oh…"

Peyral took S'rrona's hand and rubbed the soft skin on top with her rough and calloused hands. The hands that held knives and clubs, wrangled beast and fought and yet were so gentle in this moment. "I am hard on you," she said softly, still looking at the forest. "Because I know you can do better; you have so much potential to do great things for this tribe and…I don't think you see it."

S'rrona sighed and pulled her knees to her chin, resting there for a moment. "I don't know what I'm doing, Peyral…" she admitted. "I feel like I'm stepping into the wild darkness looking for a light that isn't there."

Silence bubbled between them. "Have you tried connecting to the Tree? Seeking your parents?"

"No," she said. "I don't think they can help me. I don't have many memories of them anyway."

"It cannot hurt." When S'rrona said nothing, Peyral sighed and looked at the sky. "I wonder where Vrrtep is."

It's been almost a month since they saw him off. Patrols could last for a month, maybe even two months, but…this was different. They were living in changing times, according to Vrrtep; and if they were living through that, S'rrona would assume the faster they could get home, the better they would be. But she was not a hunter, nor was she was a warrior; she was just…S'rrona, the Tsahik.

"I hear there is a couple expecting a child within the tribe," Peyral cut through her thoughts like a knife. "This is exciting news. We could all use wonderful news."

"We must wait," S'rrona warned. "They are far along, but the real test is when the birth happens. We will then see if the Great Mother has truly blessed us."

Peyral nodded her head. "I agree," she said. "It is a waiting game." The moons were almost perfectly aligned with each other. Had they been out all night? S'rrona and Peyral rose to their feet and walked over to their Eagleons. "We must be getting back. Perhaps we will find time for sleep, even if it is a nap or two."

S'rrona nodded her head and mounted Zaka. She turned him around, waving to his friends who brayed at them. They walked out of the water, the warm surface brushing the bottom of S'rrona's feet. When they made it to the other side of the shore, S'rrona and Peyral gently placed their heels into the side of their beasts.

"Aye, Aye!" They said.