After Amanda left Liv decided to get some much needed sleep. Noah seemed happy enough plugging through the schoolwork he missed and didn't seem to need help with any of it.

The sun started to set when she dragged herself out of bed. She felt like her limbs were cemented to her sheets. She reminded herself she needed to get up so she would have a chance to sleep tonight. Insomnia was the last thing she needed right now.

She reached over and unplugged her phone from its charger by the nightstand. She saw voicemail notification and unliked her phone. As she opened her bedroom door she punched in her voicemail passcode. Noah still sat right where she left him, still working through some math worksheets.

Just then the voicemail started playing, "Hey Liv..."

She listened to his message and smiled a little. It was nice to hear from him, but she felt the sting of disappointment at his need to drop of the grid. She hated that part of his job but she understood.

"About done with your math?" She walked over to see what he was working on.

"Yeah. It's not hard, just boring." Noah likes the arts and literature much more than any other subject.

"You should be almost caught up though, and we can have some ice cream when you finish."

"Yeah, okay!" He started working through the math problems faster. After completing half of the worksheet he turned to Olivia and asked, "Can we invite Elliot to come over for ice cream?"

Her stomach lurched a little. One of her biggest fears was that Noah would attach to Elliot just to have things not work out. She busied herself with emptying the dishwasher, thankful Elliot was working tonight. She hated the conflicting feelings battling within her. She wanted to let him into her life fully, and bask in the joy she knew would follow, but fear always wiggled itself in until it devoured even the idea of long-term happiness.

"I'm sure he would like that, but he has to work tonight." Noah looked disappointed. He slouched in his chair and half-heartedly worked through more math. She felt her heart break at his obvious disappointment. It hurt even more knowing he wasn't disappointed about obtaining material things , rather, his disappointment stemmed from his desire to have a relationship with an obvious father figure. Olivia tried to explain further, "His team are trying to close a big case. It's important for him to be there for his team." Noah understood. His entire life always revolved around the unpredictable nature of 'the job'. "He might not be able to even talk to us for a few days." She added. She hoped this would keep his expectations low so his disappointment would remain minimal.

"Mom," he looked up at her. He seemed nervous about what he planned to say. "I like when Elliot is here. I dunno, I just feel safer and happier." He started working on another math problem like he didn't just express the feelings she could never acknowledge.

She wanted to tell him she felt better with him too. During their years of partnership she never felt in danger because she knew Elliot was right with her. She had always felt safest when Elliot had her back. She kept the thoughts to herself. She was pretty sure her son wasn't old enough to understand the complex nature of hers and Elliot's relationship. Hell, she didn't really understand it. She tried not to spiral. Noah's voice interrupted.

"What's Elliot's squad working on?" Noah penciled in another answer on his homework.

She felt surprised by the question. He never asked about cases she worked, not like she'd talk about them with him anyway. Noah knew what her job entailed, and he knew she helped a lot of hurt women, but she wanted to shield him from the from brutal sexual violence as much as she could.

"Um, they are working a big drug case." She knew Sergeant Bell's old partner had some bearing in the case, but she admitted, "I don't know much about it." She shut the dishwasher. "You done with that math yet?" She tried to change the subject.

"Almost," Noah answered. He quieted for a few minutes while working the answer to a word problem. Olivia melted at the way her son bit his lip while concentrating, knowing she always did the same. He finished the problem, and looked up from his homework again. " Why did Elliot stop being your partner? You were friends right?" Friends. Partner. All these words never really described the nature of their relationship. While never sexual, hell it was barely physical, the relationship was deep and intimate. Their mutual dependence and obvious trust in one another always created rumors and speculation within the NYPD. Then one day he disappeared. She began to realize that while he has apologized for leaving her the way he did, he never explained why.

She glanced back up at Noah, her eyes met with his expectant expression. She knew he asked these questions now because until very recently she kept even the idea of Elliot away from her son. She didn't want to answer his question because Her relationship with Elliot was clouded with uncertainty and a bunch of other emotions she didn't want to examine right now.

"What's with all the questions tonight?" She asked, suddenly feeling tired and exasperated. Olivia knew her answer came out more tense than she planned.

"I dunno." He brought his attention down to his paper but kept talking. "I like Elliot. We had fun on our drive home, and he is cool to hang out with." He looked up at her suddenly remembering something. "Did you know he has FIVE kids?"

Liv chuckled, Noah being an only child made that concept seem completely foreign. "I knew most of them when they were just babies." She decided to add, "I held Eli before he did," she bragged. "I even watched Eli be born." She didn't mention the dramatic circumstances around Eli's birth or why she was even there in the first place.

Noah's eyes widened. "That's so cool Mom!"

She smiled, but she could see he was about to ask another question. She cut him off before he could ask. "Let's go get some ice cream now. You can finish that math before school tomorrow."

"Okay!" He bounced up from his chair to grab his shoes by the door, oblivious to her desperate attempt to change the damn subject.

Olivia sighed in relief. The promise ice cream curbed his curiosity for now. She grabbed her coat and purse as they headed for the door. She knew this wasn't the end of all the questions, likely only the beginning. All Noah's questions swam around in her head along with questions of her own. She began to realize while she and Elliot have restored much of their friendship their communication skills sucked. They always tried to avoid the heavy conversations while together, but those missing conversations were holding them back.