Liv made it into the precinct early, coffee in hand. For once the morning went smoothly. No forgotten homework or spilled coffee disasters. She smiled to herself knowing she would finally see Elliot again. She felt optimistic, an uncharacteristic feeling for her. Maybe, for once, the universe would grant her some mercy, rather than smacking her down.

She opened her office and hung her coat. She dropped her bag onto the couch and stood behind her desk. Papers scattered from yesterday's case still littered her desk. She shuffled the papers together and reached into her drawers for a file to organize them in. From her window she noticed her detectives arriving and settling in. She glanced at her watch. She expected to see the OCCB team arriving any time now.

She looked up when someone knocked at the door. Bruno's head popped in. "You good to start in like," he glanced down at his watch, "ten minutes?"

"Yeah go get set up. Ayanna and her team should be here anytime." Bruno nodded and shut the door behind him.

###

Bruno began the briefing with the background information Liv already read. She looked around the room, noticing Elliot towards the back. He leaned against a desk, shoulder to shoulder with sergeant Bell. She turned back to the front just as Bruno started showing the crime scene photos. Women's bodies. Covered in scars. Burn marks. Brands. Duct tape.

She couldn't breathe. The room around her seemed to close in on her. Suddenly she found herself in her old apartment, duct taped and bleeding. His hands are all over her and she can't stop him. She can't slow her breathing and she knows she is hyperventilating. She feels all eyes on her and she is cursing the ill timing of this apparent meltdown. She's floating, her body vacillating between the squad room and her apartment from 10 years ago. She felt ill, the taste of vodka on her tongue.

She tries to breathe and focus on the space around her, but she can't open her eyes. If she opens them now she knows she'll meet the eyes of the devil himself. She tries to find her feet and feel their position on the floor. Slowly, she began hearing Bruno's voice, at first as an echo but it increased in clarity. She starts to feel grounded, enough to open her eyes.

The members of her squad and OCCB still focused on the information Bruno was presenting. The only person noticing her complete internal meltdown was Fin, likely because he had trained himself to do so. He normally ran point on cases that would be too triggering for her, but he hadn't seen the file before the briefing began.

Finn's eyes met hers and he mouthed, "You okay?"

Instead of trying to have a silent conversation from across the room she texted him.

I'm fine. Just need a minute. Can you keep everyone out of my office when this is over?

She watched Fin check his phone.

Sure thing. He texted back. She still felt him watching her. He probably worried she would implode at any moment. He might be right.

While Fin's eyes continued checking on her, she felt more disconcerted by the steel blue eyes she knew were staring intently behind her. She focused all her attention on a crack on the floor. She couldn't face him. If she turned, even a little, he would see her face, and he would know everything. He could read her like a book. He always had, and in this moment she shied away from him because she was not ready for him to know the truth.

####

Elliot was thrilled when the new detective from SVU contacted the team. The FBI pulled all the files from their last case, leaving them with no evidence to prosecute Murphy. His entire squad was on edge. They sacrificed so much for what felt like nothing. They needed a win, and working with SVU always resulted in a win.

He arrived a little later than everyone so he had to stand in the back of the squadroom while the SVU detective reviewed the case. Instead of listening to the brief, he found himself watching Liv. He wanted to catch her eye but she seemed to be intently listening to the information being relayed. He loved the command and respect she exuded. This was her house, and she ran it with compassion and empathy, skills she had even as a young detective.

While watching her he vaguely noticed a new crime scene photo displayed on the board. Immediately he saw Olivia's body stiffen. He watched as she lightly shook, obviously trying to contain whatever anxiety seemed to creep up inside her. He wanted to immediately run to her and wrap his arms around her. The instinct to protect her consumed him. His fists clenched and unclenched as he reigned in the impulse to fix whatever was going on in her head.

He peeled his eyes away from her long enough to see the photo that caused her such distress. His stomach tightened after seeing the photo of the nude woman curled into the fetal position. Her shoulder was visible revealing an ungodly scar. He looked closer to see it wasn't a scar. The woman had been branded. Other burns and old scars seemed to be scattered across her body. Elliot felt sick. He remembered the scar he felt on Olivia the other night. Her reaction was obviously a trauma response, and he felt sickened knowing that her trauma must have been similar to this woman's.

He brought his attention back to Liv who seemed to have gained control again. Her eyes flit down to her phone. She looked up to make eye contact with Fin. Fin's presence and silent support calmed her further. Elliot felt jealousy welling up inside him. That used to be his role. He was the one she looked to for quiet reassurance. He was the one she wanted when her world was going to pieces. Not anymore, and he had no one to blame but himself.

The briefing seemed to drag on forever. He needed to talk to her. He needed to pull her away from this place, wrap her in his arms and never let go. If she let him, because in this moment he became very aware that something horrible happened in his absence, and he did not protect her. That thought shook him to the core, and the feelings of guilt and regret rained down on him like a summer thunderstorm.

Finally the briefing concluded, and he pushed through the people trying to leave. He swam upstream, desperately trying to get to her. Ayanna made eye contact and he knew she needed to speak with him, but it could wait. Only one thing mattered to him, and the rest could wait.

He made it to the place she stood, but she already disappeared. He knew she probably retreated to her office and strode in that direction. The detectives from her unit eyed him as he passed. Most of them looked new to the squad, and probably didn't know the wild eyed man trying to get to their captain's office. He nearly bumped into Fin as he reached for her office door.

"Sorry Elliot. She said she didn't want to see anyone right now."

"Seriously Finn?" He tried to move around him, but Fin stood like an insurmountable brick wall. "Let me in there."

"No. She said not to let anyone in, and last I checked you were part of that 'anyone'." He wanted to punch Fin and push him out of the way, but they were friends, and Liv trusted him more than anyone. She used to trust him more than anyone. The thought stung.

He felt his temper rising, and he wished there was a wall to punch or a garbage can to kick. However, he knew his violent outburst would send Liv spiraling, and probably scare the crap out of the newbie detectives. Pushing his way into her office fired up and out of control would definitely escalate a situation he was trying to diffuse.

He relaxed his clenched fists, and waited to speak until he felt completely calm. "Fin, please." He met Fin's uncertain expression. "I just want to make sure she's okay. Thats all."

Fin's eyes narrowed in skepticism. "I swear Stabler if you make this worse…" The threat trailed off, but Fin stepped aside allowing Elliot access to the door.