Olivia heard the argument firing up on the other side of the door. Part of her wanted Fin to step aside, but another part wanted Elliot to leave so she could deal with this on her own. She wasn't in the mood to emotionally take care of him as well as herself.

She knew the door would fling open at any minute so she stepped to her desk and found some papers to shuffle around, trying to look busy. She mentally prepared to calm Elliot down and downplay everything that happened. He would be angry, and she would assure him that it wasn't as bad as it was.

As she expected, the door opened, but instead of bursting in, Elliot walked in calmly and shut the door behind him. She braced herself for the expected fire and anger. Memories of his outbursts over the years came back with clarity. He always got angry when he was scared, and she knew this was going to be downright terrifying for him. But instead of ire his eyes met hers, soft and pleading. "You okay Liv?"

Olivia averted her eyes and began looking at the papers she needed to sign. She was not prepared for rational Elliot. She almost felt more comfortable with an angry Elliot. She dealt with angry Elliot for years, and this felt foreign and uncomfortable. "I'm fine." She answered while still keeping her attention on the forms in front of her.

He knew she was anything but fine. She heard him sigh and looked up. He was still looking at her, but he had moved closer. He placed both hands palms down on her desk. He was close. Too close. "Liv, I need the truth," he hesitated before adding, "please?" Who was this rational person who suddenly wanted to communicate?

He came around her desk effectively removing the barrier between them. Olivia felt breathless at his close proximity, and scared. She didn't want to talk about this right now. Honestly, she didn't want to talk about this ever. She just wanted the day to go back to normal, and all of this forgotten.

"Really El, it's nothing." She saw the familiar fire rise in his countenance , but he surprised her when the anger retreated as soon as it appeared. He stepped even closer, and reached his hand out for her hip. Her breath caught and her heart pounded. His fingers grasped her gently. She felt elated and completely terrified in the same breath. Terrified for him to find she wasn't as strong as everyone thought her to be.

His hand toyed with the edge of her blouse while he stared at her, eyes pleading. She knew she should step back and create some space between them but his closeness felt intoxicating. It took all her self-control not to lean in and completely lose herself in him.

Keeping his eyes locked on hers, his fingers lightly began to pull up the hem of her shirt. "Elliot what the hell are you…" her thought cut of as his rough hands delicately glanced at one of the many scars there. His other hand held her hip, cementing her in place.

He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against hers. "I need to know."

"You want the truth?" Her voice was breathless and low. She couldn't meet his gaze. "Because you can never get back to not knowing."

"I need to know." His voice was hushed and breathy.

His closeness suddenly suffocated her. Her sense of self-preservation kicked in, and took a step back. The fear preventing her from telling him melted into boiling anger.

"Fine." Her voice cracked, and her eyes finally met his. He could see the indignation glowing there. "Remember that decade you were gone?" She watched him tense up. Unfortunately for him, it was only going to get a lot worse. "Well shit happened. A lot of shit actually. A couple years after you disappeared we caught a case that at first seemed like a simple misdemeanor only to find out," she paused. She couldn't say his name. "The man was a serial rapist." He was really not going to like the next part. Her voice shook with anger and pain. "Um, I came home one night and he had broken into my apartment." She watched Elliot's eyes widen. She rushed through the rest,"He took me from my apartment and brutally assaulted and tortured me for four days until I was found. I was lucky to be found alive."

Elliot's eyes pinched shut and she knew he was trying to hold back his emotion. She knew he wasn't going to like any of this. His expression was already full guilt and self-loathing. Olivia didn't want to make him feel worse, but all the pent up anger she felt towards him kept erupting. .

Her voice was hushed but harsh. "I needed you. While you were, God knows where, I was having heated keys pressed into my skin. While you were happily living your life I watched this man rape a woman and murder two people." She choked back hot tears. No. She wasn't going to cry. Not now. Not while her fury burned so hot. "While you were somewhere with your wife, and your family," she spat out the words, "he force fed me booze and pills and physically assaulted me over and over." Her voice dropped even lower, "And while you slept peacefully on a different continent, I…"

She felt the tears on her cheeks. She met Elliot's eyes again only to see his eyes red from his tears. "I suffered through a rape kit. I had to detox." She felt herself choking on the words."I wanted you, but you abandoned me." She emphasized, "I wanted you but you clearly didn't want me." Right now, she hated him. She hated that he made her tell him. She hated that he left, and she hated that she still cared for him. This would leave him changed, and like her, he could never be the same again, and that's why she kept it from him for so long.

She looked up to see him sitting on her office couch with his head in his hands. He appeared completely destroyed by her words. She didn't want to care. He brought this on both of him, and he could deal with the fall-out. But she did care, and she wasn't ready to analyze what that meant.

Suddenly she felt very claustrophobic. "I need to go." She grabbed her coat and her bag, "I can't be here right now." She felt like she couldn't breathe.

Elliot's face flushed with panic as he jumped to his feet. Olivia opened the door to leave but he caught her arm. "Liv wait." She turned back. His eyes were begging, imploring her to stay with him.

She shook her head and closed her eyes. "I can't do this Elliot. Not right now." Her detectives all looked up and she knew they were causing a scene. Fin stood up from his desk, clearly concerned, and she knew he would intervene if she indicated she needed it. "El, I can't be here right now." She whispered the words in an attempt to keep their argument from curious ears.

"Let me take you home then." His voice matching hers. He still had a hold on her arm and had pulled her closer. "I'm not letting you drive like this." His eyes bore into hers in a silent battle of wills that felt all too familiar.

Exhaustion and defeat weighed down on her. "Fine." Elliot let go of her arm and placed his palm lightly on the small of her back ushering her out of her office and out of the squad room. She caught Fin's attention and nodded, hopefully quelling his worry. She would call him later once she felt less unsettled. He knew how to take care of things in her absence.

Elliot kept his hand on her back even as they stood in the elevator. The slight touch of his hand helped keep her in the present. He escorted her to her car, making sure she was in the passenger seat so he could drive. The sound of the door shutting caused her to jump. Before starting the car Elliot reached over to her and cupped her face in his bear paw of a hand. The warmth of his hand on her cheek quelled some of the anxiety threatening to take her over. Her eyes met his, and his gaze communicated all the grief, anger and pain drowning him in this moment. She placed her hand over his, savoring the comfort. They had pulled open the decade old wound and dumped antiseptic in it. She felt the intense pain of it, but hopefully now they could heal.