Paint and Powder
A Star Trek anthology by Andrew Joshua Talon
DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Star Trek: The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager et al are the property of CBS Television, and creation of Gene Roddenberry. Please support the official release.
Set during DS9 episode "Valiant"... Written by ChangingStation.
Jake kept to himself as he sat in the brig, his eyes closed. He was just about done with this mess. These maniacs had no idea what they were doing. Oh, they may have thought they did, but it was evident to him that the crew of the Valiant, no that Red Squad had become so obsessed with being Star Fleet that they'd lost any common sense they might have had when they began this eight months-long suicide mission. Nog may have let his blind worship of Red Squad overwhelm any doubts he may have had, but Jake knew the truth.
Their plan was insanely risky, it relied on the tech they rigged up working the exact way they thought it would, with the technical expertise of Nog, who may have been a good enough engineer to fix their Warp Drive, but wasn't his savant of a father, and because of the modifications to the warhead they were making, they were going to manually fly the torpedo into the behemoth of the ship they were going to pick a fight with. It was insane, it was suicidal, and most of all, it was pointless.
They had the data that Star Fleet had ordered the Valiant to obtain. Now they were preparing to use that data to destroy the ship they'd been monitoring. A ship bigger than the Enterprise and twice as deadly. When the safer option, the saner option, would be to just return to the Federation with the data, the mission over. Even Jake could see that, and he was just a reporter. All this would do, would be to risk the data, the ship and themselves.
In fact, his brows furrowed, that was a good point. He'd seen the crew all right. But what did the Valiant herself think of all this? Was she even still running?
"I'm sorry it had to come to this, Jake."
Jake's eyes opened as they flicked towards the force field. Through it, he could see the so-called Captain Watters, standing with his arms behind his back; his first officer, Farris, thankfully not present.
He didn't say anything, letting Watters just stand there, now that he had a good look at Watters, he could see the dark bags under his eyes, indicating just how little he'd been sleeping. And the drugs he'd been guzzling to stay awake could not have been helping matters.
It didn't take long for Watters to continue, "I put you in here so you wouldn't interfere with my duty. But that doesn't mean you can't still do yours as a reporter."
"And what's that?" Jake asked, "Write about how off your rocker you are?"
Watters inclined his head, still smiling, "If you think that's necessary. But while you're stuck in there, my crew are free to get on with their jobs to complete this mission. While you can write our story so that when this is all done, when our ship finally returns home, people will know the name Valiant."
"This mission?" Jake repeated, almost incredulous, despite already having gotten a glimpse of the man's issues. "I thought your mission was to collect info on this ship, not blowing it up by yourselves."
"I'm expanding the parameters." Watters admitted, "but, as Captain and while maintaining radio silence with Star Fleet, that's my prerogative if I feel it's necessary."
This caused Jake to roll his eyes, "But it's not is it?" He questioned, "They didn't notice you getting that info or they just didn't care. Either way, there is no need to do something this dangerous and risk everything."
This caused Watters to change tactics, "But it is preferable for Star Fleet. We have the opportunity, we're the closest ones to the ship in question, and if we take it out now, we'll be saving who knows how many ships further down the line. It's in everyone's best interests for us to do this now."
"Sounds nice," Jake admitted, "In fact, I'd even go so far to say that it sounds important. But this isn't about that. No, no, no. This has nothing to do with the future ships that... thing might destroy. It's about you. And you think destroying it with a ragtag bunch of misfits will make you a hero. Will make you sound important."
Watters frowned, "We're not some 'ragtag bunch of misfits', we're Red Squad, best of the best. And this isn't just what I think. I know, deep in my heart, that everything that's happened to us has led to this moment. Us being trapped behind enemy lines, that Cardassian ship killing our captain, myself being Field Promoted to carry us through, us lasting eight months out here, even yourself and Lieutenant Commander Nog falling into our laps. The man who could repair our engines, and help us achieve our mission and the son of one of the Federation's greatest battle commanders, the man who help design this very ship, and the perfect person to record these events so that they become legend. Can you really say that I don't have reason to believe this is all leading to something greater, Jake?"
"Those are some pretty big coincidences, sure, Watters. I'll grant you that," Jake conceded. "And I get that your crew is completely on board with you risking all our lives like this, but what does your ship think?" Watters blinked at this, so Jake continued, "Don't give me that look, you know what I mean. Or was this Ship's AI taken out by the Cardassians too? I don't think either me or Nog have seen her once since we arrived here and even training ships like the Republic have them installed so this one should too. Where is she?"
Watters was silent for a moment, before smiling slightly, "You have a point, I can't expect you to write a story about the Valiant and her mission without actually speaking to the Valiant, now can I? I apologise for not introducing you earlier; it's just that she can be somewhat... awkward." He turned away from the Holding Cell to look up at the ceiling and the microphones installed in it. "Valiant." He spoke loudly, but not harshly.
Almost instantly in response, the Shipgirl who was in many ways, the USS Valiant, materialised. Her appearance caused Jake to blink slightly. Whereas her Sister ship, Defiant, looked as young as 10, this Ship Girl could easily be mistaken for 25, in both height and facial features. Her white hair was tied up neatly into a bun, her bangs cut short as she stood to attention, wearing a Red Squad Insignia on her neck, her outfit reminding Jake of the red naval style outfits that were worn in Star Fleet during the late 23rd Century. Her most distinctive attribute was the way her hair was cut into two triangles on the top of her head, giving Jake the vague reminder of cat ears, contrasting greatly with her very professional-looking outfit as well as her posture. Jake had seen Worf and Odo slouch more than this Ship Girl as she stood ready to attention.
"USS Valiant, reporting for duty, sir." She stiffly saluted Watters, refusing to make eye contact.
Waters motioned her to relax, "At ease, Valiant. We're not in a combat situation yet."
Despite his comments, Valliant's posture remained unnaturally stiff. Was she trying to compensate for something?
Watters seemed unbothered by her seemingly ignoring his request to relax, as if he were used to it. "I summoned you to introduce you to Jake Sisko," He gestured at Jake, "His father helped design your class of Starship and he had some doubts about our mission."
Though she turned to face Jake, she continued to refuse to make eye contact with anyone, "Greetings, Mister Sisko, I'm the USS Valiant."
"Uh, hey." He offered awkwardly, not sure how to handle this. "I was wondering, do you approve of what Watters was doing?"
"Oh, yes." Valiant said easily, nodding. Her response taciturn and not what Jake was expecting.
Becoming slightly more heated, he tried to understand what she meant. "But you have to know what he's doing is too risky. It's crazy!"
Despite his words, Valiant kept her cool and just shrugged, "I believe in him. He's guided me well this far, so why wouldn't I trust him to handle this."
"Come on, every instinct in your body must be telling you this is a bad idea," Jake pressed on, "Surely you were another ship before this? You must have had other crews? Other captains? The experience you gained under them must be telling you how dangerous this is."
"No, Mister Sisko," Valiant shook her head, "I was custom built to serve on-board a Defiant-Class Ship. This is my first ship. My first crew. Even my first captain, technically." She looked over at Watters fondly, as if looking for approval.
"Come on, there must have been Valliant's before you, other memories that let you develop. I mean I know enough about Ship Girls to know you don't come ready made as intelligent right of the bat." Jake protested, drawing from knowledge he'd gained from extended interactions with Defiant, Akagi, as well as some information he knew off the top of his head. "I mean my dad talked my ear off about what happened the last time someone tried to skip all that."
Her reply was crisp and to the point, almost to the point of parody, "My predecessor was lost during the 23rd century when initiating First Contact with Eminiar VII when the simulated war resulted in them destroying it and its crew to meet with their computer's calculations. The ship was declared Missing In Action at the time, and even when her true fate was discovered 50 years later, the Black Box was never recovered. Combined with the fate of the SS Valiant, the name was deemed cursed for over a century."
The last USS Valiant destroyed in a simulated war, and now the new USS Valiant being run by a simulated crew and risked being destroyed in a real war, it sounded like a bad joke to Jake.
Valiant paused for a second, before speaking again in an overly formal voice, "I became self-aware during the months that we were trapped behind Enemy Lines. Captain Watters is my first captain while aware, though I have limited recordings of his predecessor to use as an example." In a smaller, more natural voice, she asked, "What did happen when that was all skipped? This is the first I'm hearing of this."
It was Watters who answered her. "M-5 happened. A War Game situation where the Enterprise was outfitted with a new AI to replace both Captain Kirk himself and the Enterprise and run the ship. It ended in disaster, with the machine thinking the War Games were real and a bunch of crews dead, including the Hoods. It was infamous. A bunch of laws were then put in place requiring that a Starship AI was given more limited control over several systems including weapons as as a result." He spoke flatly as if he was reading this information directly from a history book, and given how recently he'd been at the Academy, he probably was.
Valiant perked up slightly, "The Enterprise, you mean the one who found out my predecessor's fate?" In that moment, she didn't sound like an officer aboard a starship, Jake felt a sinking feeling emerge from his stomach.
Watters turned to look at Valiant, walking over to her, "Yes, the Starship Valiant owes a great debt to the USS Enterprise. And this is our chance to pay that debt back. If we do this, we'll be striking a major blow to the Dominion." He gently placed his hands on her shoulders, "We'll not just be helping the Enterprise, who's undoubtedly fighting on the front lines, we'll be saving the Federation, and become legends as great as those of Kirk, Spock and the Enterprise herself."
"It took more than one mission to make them legends, Watters." Jake pointed out. "And even if it did take only one mission, they wouldn't, even at their most reckless, put themselves in this much danger if there were other options.
Watters turned to face him, moving closer to the force field that divided them, "Exactly, Jake." Seeming to have only heard the first part of what Jake had said, he motioned to the room around them, and then to Valiant herself. "There is still much more to do, even after this mission is complete. But we've already survived in Dominion Space for eight months, we've fought the Cardassians, and we're about to take on the Jem'Hadar. This is the stuff legends are born from. And this one will be about this crew. This ship. This captain."
Jake smiled grimly, "Yeah. It's called Moby Dick. You really going to keep chasing the White Whale, Ahab?"
Watters laughed while Valiant twitched, her hair seeming to bristle. "How derivative do you think I am? I have no hatred towards that ship. No obsession. This is duty. Not something personal."
"No, I think it really is something personal. You're trying to prove yourself. Prove you deserve to be in that seat. Prove your captain was right to put you in charge." Jake took a step closer to the force field and Watters himself. "I get it, I really do. I thought I'd be able to handle something like this a year ago. Ended up chickening out, and only did something heroic by a complete and utter fluke. You haven't seen real combat, not really, not yet. I have."
He locked eyes with Watters, his smile never leaving his face, neither of them looking away for what felt like hours, while Valiant remained silent. Eventually, Jake looked away. "You're cracking." He noted. "The pressure was too much for you already, and now you want to put yourself under more? It's going to crush you and everyone else aboard this ship."
"That's not true!" The Valiant piped up. "Captain Watters has done nothing less than a spectacular job commanding us. I'm honoured to have him as my captain. Under his leadership we will pull through."
Watters' smile grew slightly, "Please, Jake. This is Valiant's maiden voyage as much as it is ours. A true member of Red Squad in every sense of the word. Isn't that right, Valiant?" There was something that shined in his eye that reminded Jake uncomfortably of a time when he'd accidently made eye contact with a Jem'Hadar soldier during the Dominion Occupation and had seen a similar gleam.
Valiant saluted stiffly, almost as if she was simply repeating an action she'd seen before, without fully understanding it, because Jake realised with dawning horror, that was exactly what she was doing. "Affirmative, sir. Permission to speak freely?"
Watters nodded, keeping his eyes firmly on Jake, as if studying him, "Granted, Valiant."
Valiant finally moved her head to look Jake directly in the eye, and he jerked back at what he saw. Like Watters, there was a gleam in her eye. But the gleam was tinged with a touch of something else, fear. Sadness. Loneliness. Like she was trying be brave in front of everyone when she could collapse at any moment.
It was then that Jake finally realised why comparing Valiant to Defiant felt so off. Valiant may have looked older than the Defiant. She may have even behaved more like a warship than Defiant did. But at the end of the day, she was a kid trying to be a soldier, while Defiant was a soldier trying to be a kid.
She'd only seen combat once. And lost her captain in the process. And then spent the following months observing the crew, of learning by their example. Not understanding just how wrong their example really was. When she'd finally become self-aware, she became one of them. Not a member of Red Squad, the best of the best, but a crewmember of Valiant, an inexperienced child terrified of everything around her, out of her depth just wanting to go home, and looking to Watters for support, letting him convince her that this is what she needed to do. That this was what she was supposed to do and that it would all be fine if she did what he said.
Now she was being asked to risk her captain, her crew, herself again. But because of how young she was, because of how little she'd experienced, she didn't yet understand just how insane this was. How screwed up this crew had become. How much risk their captain was putting them in. She was not ready, they were not ready. And it was going to get them all killed.
"Mister Sisko," She smiled for the first time, but her eyes didn't change, "Don't worry. We can do this. We need to do this. And it's my honour and privilege to carry out this mission. I believe in Captain Watters, and you should too." And Jake knew then and there, that she meant every word. "When this is all over, maybe you could tell me some stories about my sister, the Defiant?" A small tremor affected her voice as she asked, of homesickness, despite never having truly set eyes on home.
Jake could only nod, voiceless. There was nothing he could say to change her mind.
Valiant's smile turned into a grin, "I hope she isn't too much for me to handle when I meet her." As if just remembering Watters was there, her eyes darted towards him and she schooled her expression. The make-shift captain looked at her fondly, his arms folded as he did so. He really believed in her, Jake realised, and that just deepened his disgust. He really did believe that she could do this, and so she would kill herself trying to prove him right.
She looked at Watters and blushed slightly, "Permission to leave, sir? I've already said my piece."
Watters motioned for her to go, still looking at her fondly, "Go ahead. Check up on Commander Farris and see how we're doing."
She nodded. "Sir." As she disappeared, Jake noticed how her eyes flicked towards him for a second. Was it worry, or just curiosity on her part.
"Fine ship, isn't she Jake? I mean, your father helped design her after all." Watters walked over to where she'd just been standing.
Jake nodded, "Oh, I'm certain she's great. It's you that I'm not so certain about."
"Still being difficult I see." Watters shook his head. "I suppose that's fine, so long as you remain in the Brig until this is all over. After that, I'm sure you'll get it."
Jake was indignant, he was sick of feeling like he was talking to a brick wall with these people. "Me, being difficult? Watters you're the one leading everyone to their deaths, because they're all either too inexperienced to get how bad an idea this is, or too in love with the idea of you to tell you, no! The previous captain clearly wasn't around long enough to let you all understand what Commanding really is like. Oh, he gave you an idea of it, but not enough for them to really get it. I get it! I spent years living with my dad, I saw what it did to him, up close and personally. I saw the pressure he had to deal with when he thought nobody was looking."
Watters was slightly nonplussed, "What are you trying to say? That I'm becoming a problem? You're the only one who thinks so. No one else has raised any complaints about my leadership."
"Yeah, because they don't want to let you down. You told me to stay away from your petty officer because asking where she came from caused her to feel homesick. You're hurting this crew, you're hurting this ship and they don't even realise it because they don't have enough experience. And neither are you!" Jake motioned to where the Valiant was. "You might not see it, but she's trying so hard so she doesn't let you down, because she failed her original captain and you were the one chosen to take over. But the fact that she's spent her existence with you as her captain means she can't understand just how badly you're cracking under the strain, she can't support you because you won't show weakness to her or anyone else. And you can't understand how scared she is, because she doesn't want to let you down by showing weakness. This whole crew has become toxic!"
That finally got a rise out of Watters, though he still didn't raise his voice. "This crew isn't becoming toxic. The only problems I've experienced in command are the ones you caused." He accused.
"Oh, wake up! I haven't done anything! If talking about home upsets them this much, then the answer's pretty clear They don't want to be here, and the only reason they're pulling this crazy stunt is because you got into their heads and convinced them they can!" Jake took a deep breath, he had no chance to get Watters to see reason if he let his anger consume him.
His response was simple but infuriating, "If I was doing something wrong, Valiant is the ship, she would tell me so." Watters spoke it with such certainty that Jake was almost glad for the Force Field that separated them, otherwise he might gave into his desire to punch the self-righteous asshole.
Jake's voice was slow but to the point. "I just told you. Valiant has only seen you lead. She doesn't have the experience to understand how wrong that leadership has been. In some way, she thinks this is normal." He took a deep breath, "She's a child who doesn't yet understand that her parents are flawed people. She thinks you're basically a God and is desperate for your approval."
Watters seemed to be about to interrupt him, so Jake carried on, "This is insane, Watters. You're becoming insane. You're pushing yourself too far." Jake shook his head, "You've stuffed yourself with drugs to keep yourself awake, but it's still not enough, is it? You need more, and more and more, just so you can keep working, so you can fix everything. It's affecting your judgement, you're dragging your crew to their deaths! You're dragging the Valiant to her death! Don't you get it? You weren't ready for command when you got this role, and you certainly not now!"
Watters seemed to take that on board, blinking, he licked his lips as he searched for something to say, but when he opened his mouth, Jake knew that any hope for the Valiant was gone, "Then let that be my story. I said I was going to achieve my mission or die trying, and I'll stand by those words to my last breath." With that, Watters walked out of the brig, leaving Jake to punch the wall as he lamented the insanity that had overtaken Valiant. The Crew, as well as the Ship. The insanity that would likely take all their lives.