Chapter Five: Loyalty

Even in the spring, it seemed like up in the mountains winter never ended. It was cold, Skylar knew it was cold, but she couldn't feel it. She didn't even really remember when she'd gotten to the Iron temple other than it was sometime last night, the flames burning on either side of her as she sat on a step near the entrance. Shiro and Saladin were somewhere in the temple; the pack of wolves - who had apparently very recently had a gaggle of puppies - dotted the area. All five of the new blood were bouncing around like children at their mother – the white wolf that had followed her around during the SIVA events that she's always called Yuki.

Why was Skylar here?

The last twenty four hours felt like a blur or some foggy dream she could just barely make out. She'd felt like a ghost – a real ghost – sitting outside the temple like she was now, but different. It had been dark and icy and Skylar hadn't felt it then either. Then Shiro had found her and…

"Our room is… empty. I can't… Why is he gone?"

They'd been the first words she'd spoken in hours, her voice lost and gone in the time before as she'd packed up her and Cayde things and left their home empty for whoever would one day take his place. Take his place, as if anyone could ever be anything like the Hunter Vanguard she loved – still loved. The words had been a trigger and she'd watched Shiro's face crumble in pain before righting itself when she… what? Skylar rubbed her eyes, blowing out a long puff of air. Everything was a mess and all Skylar knew was that she'd lost it again, the rest of that night melting into something familiar but different in every way possible. She knew she'd cried till she'd passed out - or just about - because she'd woken up hours later, her cheek pressed against her friend's shoulder.

He'd held her all night and while Shiro tried to brush it off, saying he'd owed her for all the time she'd comforted him about Cassidy, Skylar would never forget what he'd done. It could have been awkward as hell, wrong even in the eyes of some. But Shiro was an Exo and he knew what it was like to lose that person you thought would always be there. She'd needed comfort from someone who understood. Z and Haar were like brothers, but it wouldn't have been the same. She was grateful, but as she stared out at the rising sun of the new day, the Hunter kept thinking the same thing over and over again:

Where should she go?

Something tugged at her arm and Skylar blinked, looking to the side to find one of the puppies there, the edge of her arm guard's bladed handle in its mouth as it tugged. Brave dog, seeing as there was a deadly blade inches from it. Biting her lip, she poked its nose and it snuffed in reflex, letting go so she could pull her arm away before it got hurt. The puppy was pure white just like his mom, save an odd gray run of fur that covered the upper part of one ear – an ear that was oddly floppy half way up it. Had it been damaged? Icy blue eyes, nearly light gray with just a hint of color stared at her, its head tilted to the side as if waiting for her to do something.

"…What?" she murmured quietly, wondering if there was something she was supposed to know about involving wolf puppies. It just stared at her, before tilting its head the other way. Skylar sighed, glancing at the pack and finding Yuki watching them lazily. The trust the mother gave Skylar was unexpectedly heartwarming. Looking back at the puppy, Skylar reached out and used two fingers to rub it's small head, at which it wagged its tiny tail.

Well, it was something, she supposed.

"There was a time far back where the term 'man's best friend' was a common string of words." The deep voice had Skylar tensing, drawing her hand back as she turned on the stair to find Lord Saladin standing at the top. Shiro was there too, along with her own Ghost, Sterling, who had wandered off hours before. Her friend gave her a small smile as her Ghost made his way back over to her, floating at her shoulder but Skylar's eyes stayed on the old Lightbearer. "It would seem animals do not change as much as humans often do."

"They haven't really had a need to," Skylar said quietly. Animals weren't at war, after all.

"Not so," he corrected, "Back in the Dark Age, the Iron Lords kept wolves at our sides, often taking them into battle." He gestured to the pack laying around the entrance. "Even this group have helped to protect our home."

Skylar didn't miss the wording despite the state of her mind.

"Ours?" Maybe he meant Shiro – the Exo did live here now, he had since Cassy died – but something told her it was more than that. The dark-skinned human gave her a long look.

"The temple is closed to no Lord of Iron, Young Wolf."

"I don't…"

"You don't have to go back to the tower, Sky," Shiro spoke finally, taking a moment to walk down a few steps, standing between the two of them. "You don't have to sleep in your ship either. There are empty rooms, you can stay here, just like I told you last night." Had he told her that? She couldn't remember. She held her friend's gaze for a long time, thinking that over. She hadn't really been planning to sleep in her ship… well maybe. She knew she was welcome at Z and Haar's place but there wasn't much room. Besides, she wasn't even sure they were around right now. Haar had talked about helping the Spider out and Z was always off doing something.

Without a Hunter Vanguard, her class would have to try and rule themselves for a while - with guidelines from Zavala, of course.

The offer was… unexpected. Even after helping with the SIVA crisis, Skylar had never felt like the title 'Young Wolf' suited her. She'd always thought that out of the three of them who'd helped with the main problem, Tristan had been the best fit. He wasn't here though, and Skylar had bounded with the wolves better than him. As if to prove her statement true, the puppy nudged his head against her leg and whined for attention. Skylar couldn't stop from smiling just a bit.

Maybe she was more of an Iron Lord than she'd thought.

Looking at Saladin, she pressed her lips together for a moment before slowly nodding her head. "I think I could use some time away from the City, at least for a while." Her answer got a smile from Shiro and an approving look from the old Lord. When she looked back at the puppy, she reached out and scratched its head once more.

"Give him a name," Saladin said suddenly, startling her as she looked back up to him. Shiro looked surprised too, having turned his head to his friend as well. The big human crossed his arms and nodded to the puppy. "He is the odd one out of the litter and his mother trusts you. Do not squander that gift." With that, he turned and retreated back into the Temple, leaving Skylar and Shiro to stare after him. She wasn't sure if…

"…Did he just give me a puppy?" she asked both the Exo and her Ghost. Shiro blinked a few times, looking bewildered, but her partner was no such thing.

"I think tak'n care of someth'n might do ya some good," he drawled, floating lower and closer to the puppy. It nipped at him and he jerked back. Skylar's lips twitched up again and she shook her head.

"I think he's right," Shiro said finally. "I mean, wolves aren't pets, but it looks like his mother wouldn't mind you looking after him when you want. Can't take her place mind you, he needs her still, but if he bonds to you… well, you'll be pack." He shrugged his shoulders. "At least give it a shot."

Skylar had never taken care of anything before, not really. Well okay, maybe Cayde, but that was different. This little, two pound puppy was tiny and needy and helpless for the most part. She glanced at Yuki again, the female having laid her head down on her paws, still watching them. When she met the mother's gaze, an ear flicked back and then her eyes closed, letting her puppy out of her sight.

Trust. Animals trusted so purely; it was disarming at times. Looking back at the puppy, she sighed slightly and then carefully picked him up, dispensing him onto her lap.

"Shiro?"

"Yeah?"

"… About last night," she murmured, flashes of the hours before running across her mind again. All that crying and screaming and he'd just held on to her like the world might end – like she might end – if he let go. "I…" She didn't even know what to say, how to thank him. A rustle of fabric rubbing against metal and she felt him sit down next to her. A robotic hand ran into her vision as he poked the puppy in the chest and caused him to flop over to one side with a squeak. Shiro huffed a small, tired laugh.

"You don't need to thank me," he assured her quietly. "Even if you did, you said enough last night."

"I didn't remember a lot of it." So much was just blurred out in emotional drenched agony. There wasn't a picture in her head, there was just…. Everything else. Part of her wished she couldn't remember that either.

"I'm not surprised," the Exo responded. "I don't remember a whole lot of the day you brought Cassidy's mark to me either. Doesn't matter, what I do remember is that you and Cayde were there and you did the same exact thing for me."

The puppy nipped at the belt on Skylar's waist as she remembered that. He was right. She'd never seen Shiro lose it before. He was the most mellow person she'd ever met, but losing his girl… He'd punched a frozen boulder hard and the burst of Arc energy had ripped it apart like a Titan's thunder crash. He'd broken his hand too, crushed it at the wrist, but that had been the least of his pain. Cayde had tried to calm him down but in the end, it had been Skylar that had gotten through. She grabbed him and forced him into a hug and hadn't let go. Even after he'd stopped struggling and broken down she hadn't let go. He needed her, just like now, when she needed him. Skylar had been a human, not awoken like Cassy, but still skin and bones, and Shiro was an Exo.

Sometimes you just needed something familiar to hold onto.

"I'm sure the others are wondering where I am."

"I talked to Z this morning," Shiro assured her. "He'll tell the others."

Skylar wondered if she'd hurt Z at all by coming to Shiro instead of him. She hadn't even made the conscious decision, she'd just shown up there. Maybe it was because she'd known the Exo would understand in a way none of the others could.

"You know…. I kind of needed last night too," her friend said suddenly, and she finally looked up to meet his soft gaze. He gave a small smile. "I didn't want to bother anyone but… well, I'm the last one. They're all gone now." His shoulders dropped. "I'm glad you showed up." The last of his friends from the old days: Andal, Tevis, and now Cayde – all gone.

The puppy in her lap pulled at her belt and Skylar huffed, poking his nose to stop him before she said anything. "Then we can keep each other company for a while I guess. I think… being here will be a nice change of pace."

"Good," Shiro replied, a smile back in his voice. "It will be nice to have someone beside old Saladin around. He doesn't play cards… or drink with other people." His grumbling words have her smiling completely, for what feels like for the first time in years, as she petted the white wolf and he whined and pushed on her hand. Another thing to keep her going. The puppy tilted his head at her, his one bent ear flopping with movement. Sterling was right – maybe taking care of something would be good for her.

Besides, who the hell could resist that face?

"Guess I'll need to find you a name huh?"

-Skylar-

The room Skylar had at the Iron Temple had once belonged to Lady Efrideet herself, but with the sniper off in retirement in some far away place, Saladin had given it to Skylar. Something about keeping similar Lightbearers in the same place. She'd seen it as an honor at the time, and even now she did to a certain point. It felt like a lie now, as she stood in the center of it, staring at the roaring fireplace on the back wall. Efrideet had seemed to like Skylar when they'd met during the SIVA crisis, she'd even given the hunter a link to the legend's own Ghost coms as a one-time thing to use if she ever wanted to leave the Traveler and its conflicts behind. Skylar had looked up to her.

Now, she couldn't help but wonder what the Iron Lady would think if she knew someone using Darkness was occupying her room.

She'd done it to save the City – but what had that gotten her in the end?

Pain. Anger. Words that were burned into her soul. That hardest and yet easiest choice she'd ever made. A choice to keep that never ending promise alive.

Eramis was no longer a threat. It had taken well over a week to hunt down each of her lieutenants even when her team had split into groups. The number of followers she had was astounding, and the amount of them using Stasis was even more so. It had been hard – but it was doable with the new type of power they'd all gained. By the end of the week they'd cornered the Kell and by the end of that day she'd become nothing more than a statue made of the icy power she'd used. Skylar had almost shattered it.

Almost.

They'd decided to leave it as a warning instead.

A sharp whine drew her from her thoughts and she glanced in the direction of the bed covered in furs. Frost was sitting next to it, the large white wolf nudging her half-packed bag where it sat on the edge of the bed. He nudged it harder, and it fell off, scattering clothes and supplies. She sighed, not even angry, not even sure if she'd packed it for a reason or not. Walking over, she crouched down but ignored the bag, instead, reaching out and ruffling the wolf's neck fur before stroking a thumb over the ear that had light gray on it, rubbing the floppy end of it gently.

"It's okay boy," she murmured, wondering if she was saying it to herself as much as him. "It's okay…" Clearly it wasn't and even the wolf knew that as he huffed and nudged his snout under her chin, tongue following the upward motion. Skylar grimaced at the drool but didn't pull away.

The canine had been her constant companion ever since the day she'd moved to the Temple. His mother had still taken care of him and he'd still played with his siblings, but as more and more time passed she found Frost in her lap or following her around. As he'd gotten older, he sometimes came with her and Shiro into the Plaguelands for scouting missions. He wasn't a pet, he was wild and dangerous - just like a Hunter in some ways - but he was also her friend, her partner, someone she knew would always trust her. Skylar had to admit at times, she was fairly sure he'd saved her life. He wasn't Cayde, but knowing someone that trusted her and loved her unconditionally was waiting back at the Temple stopped her from doing something really stupid at times. That combined with her promise made things more bearable, even now.

If she left now, what would happen to him? She wouldn't – couldn't – take him with her, no matter how much she wanted to.

"Sky?" The familiar voice had her tensing, half surprised that he'd gotten into her room without her hearing him and half because she wasn't sure what he'd say to her now. Looking over to the door, Shiro stood just inside the room, his metal features shifted into something close to worry. "I knocked-" His eyes scanned her like normal before freezing on her face and she flinched at his next words. "Your mark…" Red was a bit of a change from blue, wasn't it?

Disregarding everything else, Shiro made his way over to her as she stood back up - Frost moving out of the way - and faced him, her eyes darting to the ground for a moment. She didn't know what to expect, whether he'd be angry or upset or… but instead his hand reached up and touched her temple, lightly feeling the rough burn-like texture of the still-healing mark. He swallowed and dropped his hand just as fast before she found herself quite suddenly pulled into a hug. Stiffening slightly, she made herself relax after a moment. It seemed like every Exo she knew was a hugger – except maybe Banshee – and Skylar wondered if it was because they had some deep aching need for another person's touch.

"Did it hurt?"

His question was twofold, she knew that instantly. On the surface it was about her mark, about what had happened to it when the Light had burned her for taking in Darkness willingly. The other was about everything else. He already knew then. Of course he did. It'd only been two days, but she was sure the news had spread like wildfire once it hit the Tower.

Hidden Wing Clan founders wielding Darkness, leader banned from the Tower for attacking the Vanguard.

She closed her eyes, remembering everything again.

Their victory, their relief.

Then Zavala had shown up and everything had come crashing down. With the crisis over, the tolerance that had been shown was over too. There had been demands, there had been orders.

They'd refused them all.

He'd tried speaking with just her - trying to get her to see reason - but Skylar could no more stop using Stasis against their enemies than she could give the power back to the pyramids. Skylar wasn't going to gag something that might very well be the only thing they could use against those ships and whatever was really in them. She'd told him using one side of a power wasn't enough anymore and his response… his response.

She'd lost it.

Such a short number of words but they had hurt far too much – and they'd been true. Void lightning had raced up her arms and she'd blink stepped right up to him. She hadn't really thought she'd be a match for him but she did better than she thought, the battle lasting long enough to gain attention from the others. It hadn't been like when she punched him during the Red War to knock sense into him. He'd won, and as she'd been revived, she found herself faced with the truth: she didn't regret her choices at all. It still didn't stop the sting of knowing people who had once looked up to her - that had been her friends - would now see her as a traitor.

"Yeah," she answered quietly, her hands finding purchase in his cloak. "It did. A lot more than I thought it would." Closing her eyes, she took in a deep breath and steeled herself against her next words. "Are you angry?"

"Yeah. What you did was reckless as hell," he grumbled, "But if I'd been there, I would have done exactly what you guys did. I know you only used Darkness because there were no other options. I don't even need to ask, I know you and I know the guys. As for the rest…" He hesitated before pulling back, forcing her to let go as he placed hands on her shoulders. "Can you tell me why?"

No. She didn't want to talk about it. She wanted to dig a hole, through the truth into it, and cover it up. Secrets were a Hidden Agents specialty.

"He was being unfair," she explained, eyes darting at the ground for a moment. "He was demanding things we couldn't do and then he…" She sighed and shook her head. "He said something I didn't like and because I was tired and aggravated… I guess it just set me off."

"What did he say?"

She'd seen the question coming.

"Does it matter?"

"Yes."

It mattered a lot to him. She knew it instantly from his tone. Shiro had always been loyal to the Vanguard - at least as much as any Hunter was - and she was blacklisted. She was his friend, his family, but he still needed an answer. Did she really want to risk losing a friend just because it hurt to tell them? She'd had worse pain; she could deal with it.

Just say it.

"He said, 'It's a good thing Cayde is dead because he wouldn't be able to even look at you after seeing what you've become.' ...I don't think I've ever snapped like that before." The words on her own tongue were oddly numbing, like her new abilities were crawling over her skin. Shiro cursed in something close to a snarl, that rare burst of anger rearing its head.

"Sky it's not true." He said it without pause, but she just shook her head and his hands tightened on her shoulders. "Damn it Skylar, it's not true."

"Are you sure?" she asked quietly, finally looking him in the eyes again. "Are you really sure, if he found out everything, he'd be okay with that? That he'd look at me and not be horrified to find the person he loved changed by so many unsavory choices? I killed Uldren, Shiro, and we both know he would have been upset about just that."

Everything else, it was all worse and Shiro didn't even know about all of it. The Whisper. Siding with the Drifter. Refusing to work with the Vanguard. And now this: Darkness. It shivered through her veins and she wished for once it made her feel the cold. Shiro stared back at her for a long moment, opening his mouth slightly before closing it again. Then he clenched his jaw tight, hinges straining.

"He'd be upset, yes, I know that, but – Skylar, this is Cayde. He wasn't exactly a straight shooter, you know that. He played with the line all the time in order to do what had to be done." Played with – never crossed it, not like her. "Listen to me, okay? He loved you - loved you more than anything. He would know just like I do that you only do things for a good reason. Maybe not the right reason in some eyes, but a good reason. He'd know you did it because it was the only viable choice."

He was wrong. Maybe in the case of the Darkness he was right, but the rest? Skylar hadn't needed to kill Uldren, Petra would have. She hadn't needed to take power from a Worm God, but she did anyway. She'd done them because she'd wanted to, not because she'd needed to. Those weren't good reasons, not for many. Cayde had never been one of 'the many', but this… all of this…

"I don't know Shiro," she said finally, the weight of it all compounding on her shoulders, her head, her chest. It was all she could do to stand up straight. "I'm just so tired of this, tired and… lost." She'd been lost for two years, she'd just convinced herself she didn't care if she was. Her friend's hands loosened and he rubbed one of her arms, his eyes flickering down to her toppled bag.

"You don't need to leave." He said firmly, giving up on the topic from before at least for the moment. He'd come back to it later. She sighed.

"Shiro…"

"No," he argued, "Saladin isn't going to kick you out for this, I won't let him. He's smarter than Zavala, he'll understand. He might not like it, but he'll understand." Maybe. He might understand. Skylar didn't really want to leave - to leave her friend or Frost, or the only place she'd felt completely safe in for two years. Where would she even go anyway? Bunking with the Drifter sounded awful and she wasn't sure it would be safe for her to venture to her Clan's property in the Last City right now. That left sleeping in her ship.

"I never said I was leaving, I just… I thought about it."

Relief flashed through his face, glad that she wasn't arguing with this at least. He rubbed her arm again before finally letting her go. "You look like you need a meal, a stiff drink, and a bed. I'll let you choose the order of those but you are getting all three."

Skylar let out a single laugh.

"Drink first."

He raised one hinge in a lopsided smile as if he'd been expecting that answer.

"Thought as much. Come on."

Following him out of her room, she heard Frost trailing behind them and let herself smile just a tiny bit. Her world might have just gone to shit again , but at least the people who really mattered seemed to be willing to brave it all along with her.

I need art of Skylar and Frost together. it's not a want, it's a need. lol.

Thanks for reading!