Paint and Powder

A Star Trek anthology by Andrew Joshua Talon

DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Star Trek: The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager et al are the property of CBS Television, and creation of Gene Roddenberry. Please support the official release.

What You Leave Behind

The final battle over Cardassia was won. The peace treaty had been signed. And the war... Was over.

Defiant did feel slightly sad, in a strange way. She had been built to fight for and protect the Federation, and now the biggest conflict in the history of the galaxy was over. So many had been lost. So many things had changed.

She had changed, to a new hull.

Defiant didn't really know what she was going to do now. Well, she knew. Her mission remained the same. Yet in a very real sense... It felt like nothing was sure.

Then Captain Sisko stumbled, holding his head. She reached out and grasped him, trying to help him stand.

"Captain?" She asked.

Sisko shook his head, and looked at her intensely.

"Get me to Bajor. Now," he ordered.

Defiant didn't feel lost anymore. She knew where she was, and what she had to do.

She remotely activated the transporter, and took her captain aboard. Terok released her airlock controls, and she pulled away. She flipped around, and set course for Bajor.

The trip took only minutes, and yet, the anxiety her captain felt seemed to make it take longer. He glared at her viewscreen, looking down upon the glittering world of Bajor.

"Captain, where are we going?" Defiant asked.

Sisko rose, and pointed at a spot.

"The Fire Caves," he ordered. "Beam me down to the entrance. Now."

"I can come with you," Defiant said, "we could call in reinforcements-!"

He reached out, and squeezed her shoulder. He looked her right in the eyes.

"No," Sisko said. "I need you to stay here."

"But-!" She tried, but Sisko shook his head.

"I have to do this alone. If I give you the emergency signal..." He paused, "you need to target my position... And fire everything."

Defiant started, her jaw dropping in disbelief.

"C-Captain, I-!"

"That's an order, Defiant," Sisko stated firmly. It was his captain's voice, and yet... He looked at her like he did in their most private moments. He needed her.

Defiant nodded.

"Understood," she said softly. "The transporter room is ready, and I've prepared your armaments."

Sisko nodded, and gave her a small, strained smile. Yet it was genuine.

He headed out, and down to the transporter room. She projected herself to the transporter room, and helped him take up his weapons. She attached the personal forcefield generator to his shoulder. He again smiled, almost softly.

"Remember what I told you," he ordered.

Defiant nodded.

"I will," she replied.

"Energize," he ordered. Sisko vanished in a column of shimmering light.

She monitored his lifesigns the entire time. He went into the Fire Caves. She monitored very strange readings-Utterly baffling. Not unlike the stuff in the wormhole.

Then... There was nothing. Everything was gone.

He was gone.

Hundreds of Bajorans, Starfleet, and other personnel scoured the Fire Caves for days. Defiant sent five avatars of herself to search. Then ten more. Then twenty.

They mapped every centimeter of the caves they could reach. They went out into the surrounding forest, gullies, into the streams.

Her own sensors were turned to maximum power, and she searched the entire planet, hundreds of times.

She felt Colonel Kira's hand on one of her avatars, working away in the Caves. She looked up at the tired looking Bajoran, her commanding officer. Her friend.

"Defiant," Kira said gently, "I think we need to stop."

Defiant blinked. All of her avatars were now staring over at the Colonel.

"Stop what? Stop searching in this area?" Defiant asked. "There's still plenty of ground we could cover! There could be something we're missing!" She held up a tricorder. "I've been linking with the Bajoran sensor network-Maybe there's a sign of some kind of dimensional transport! Maybe it was an Iconian Gateway! Or-Or-!"

Kira took hold of her shoulders, and turned her to look Defiant in the eyes.

"Defiant," she said gently, "you know what I mean."

Defiant knew exactly what Kira meant. She knew it was logical. She knew they had found nothing.

She knew all of this.

Defiant knew reacting angrily wouldn't change anything, but-

"NO!" Defiant shouted, shoving Kira away. "I WON'T GIVE UP! THERE'S SOMETHING WE'RE MISSING! I KNOW IT!"

Kira's gaze was compassionate. Her eyes were filled with grief. She understood Defiant's pain.

"We haven't found anything, Defiant," Kira said, "and... I don't think we are going to."

It didn't matter what she understood.

"I don't care what you think!" Defiant snarled, "I don't care what anyone thinks! I have to find him! I WILL FIND HIM!"

"Defiant!" Kira shouted, "stand down! We're going to go back to the station and-"

"NO! I WILL NOT!" Defiant shouted. "I'M GOING TO GET ANSWERS! I..."

It hit her with perfect clarity. She disengaged all of her holographic avatars, and she powered up her engines. She ignored any hails from any source. She set course for her destination.

The wormhole.

Defiant had gone through the Bajoran wormhole many times. It had been incredible at the start. An amazing phenomena of space, the work of minds beyond any mortal beings.

She was a bit intimidated now... But she drove on.

The internals of the wormhole were bizarre, a warped space that seemed to defy all the laws of physics.

Defiant stood up in the middle of the bridge, and looked out into the swirling energies. She opened hailing frequencies.

For a moment, she didn't know what to say. All her knowledge in the Federation databanks, and... She didn't have anything to say.

So instead... Defiant closed her eyes and did as her captain had told her.

To not think. Just... Feel.

"Please... I want... My captain back," she said. "Maybe you don't have parents, but... But my captain... He means everything to me. Without him, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't exist. I wouldn't... I wouldn't be a person. He means everything to me, and I just want to... To know where he is. To know if he's okay..."

She felt tears begin to bubble out of her eyes, running down her cheeks. She sucked in a breath through her nostrils, and trembled.

"Because I love him so much, and... And..."

Her bridge disappeared around her. She was cut off from all her sensors, save for her avatar's senses. She could hear a heartbeat, feel it through every photon of her being. She turned, and she was being hugged... By him.

"C-Captain?!" She cried. Sisko chuckled, looking calm and warm. He hugged her tightly, and she wrapped her arms around him. She sobbed hard, burying her face in his chest.

"CAPTAIN!"

"It's all right, Defiant," Sisko said gently, "it's okay."

"What... What happened?" She asked. "Where did you go?"

Sisko smiled.

"I had to deal with something big," he said, "something very big. That could have destroyed... Everyone and everything."

"But you beat it and you can just... Just come home, right?" Defiant asked.

"Not now," he said.

"When will you come back?" She asked.

"I don't know," Sisko admitted gently. "Maybe a minute? Maybe... A hundred years. It's the price I paid for what I did."

Defiant sobbed harder.

"But... But..."

"Shh," Sisko said gently, stroking the top of her head, "you're not a child anymore. You understand that sometimes you have to give up everything for the sake of those we care about. You sacrificed for me... So much."

"But you're not supposed to die for me," Defiant sniffled, "I'm supposed to... To..."

"Part of being a parent is giving up things for the sake of your children," Sisko said, "even... If necessary... Your life. That's what it means to truly love someone, or something. To be willing to give up everything so that the future can be bright."

He smiled warmly at her, and tilted her head back to look her in the eyes. She still felt hot tears leave her eyes, as she held him.

"But... It's not what a shipgirl is meant to do," Defiant whispered.

"You were never just a shipgirl to me, Defiant," Sisko said softly, "I got to watch you and Jake grow up. Jake grow up into a fine young man with a bright future... And you into a fine young lady. A warrior who, no matter what, never gave up. You picked yourself back up every time you got knocked down. You never, ever stopped. And I'm proud of you. Of everything you've done for us. For me. And everything you've become. And now... It's time for me to go."

"But I don't want you to go," Defiant whimpered quietly.

Sisko's smile grew, just a bit.

"I know... But it's what I have to do." He held her shoulders. "You're not a little girl anymore... And part of being human is learning to say goodbye. Until we meet again... The Federation needs you. Jake, Kassidy... And the new baby will need you."

Defiant's eyes widened.

"The new baby?!" She gasped.

Sisko smiled warmly.

"Your little sister," he said. "Please, Defiant, will you do this for me? For our family?"

Defiant managed to smile back, despite her tears.

"I will, Dad," she said. She started. "I-I'm sorry-!"

"It's okay," Sisko said with a smile, "I'm not your captain anymore... But I'll always be your father."

"Y-yes, yes you will," Defiant sniffled.

He bent down and kissed her forehead.

"Now, get home," he said, "you can't act like a child anymore."

"I won't," Defiant said, "I-I promise!"

"Thank you," he said.

"Defiant? DEFIANT!"

Defiant snapped out of it. She was... A starship again. On her bridge once more. Kira was on the viewscreen, glaring angrily.

"Defiant! Are you going to return or not?"

Defiant allowed a smile to come across her face. She was still crying, but... She could handle it.

"Yes," she said, "I am."

Kira's face softened.

"... Are you... How are you?"

Defiant sucked in a deep breath.

"... I'm... Not okay," she admitted, "but... I will be."

Maybe not today. But one day, everything would be okay again.

The future was looking bright, after all...

Because I realized I needed to write more for my favorite girl...