Not that Bad

Notes: I just started adding notes after actually writing the chapters because whenever I post I have no idea what to say anymore, lol. So... without further ado, let's spend sometime with Five and Lila, shall we? :D

Five didn't remember how long he'd been walking in this wasteland, his eyes stung with the constant ashes floating around and the acrid stench filling the air.

Dolores was comfortably traveling in the pull cart he was pulling along with some new cans and books he had collected.

"I told you, Dolores, when I solve this, you can come with me, I'm sure you'd like my family," he stopped, a lopsided smile crossing his face, "I mean, they are idiots, but they are okay."

"What? Well yeah, they are dead now but when we get back—"

"Forgot what, could you be less cryptic? It's hard to think clear with this polluted air."

"I killed them? What are you talking about?" he stopped and looked back at her. "I would never—"

There sat Dolores, with a switchblade mark on her neck, thick strands of blood staining her blouse.

"No, Dolores!" he ran to her side and held her on his arms, panic reflecting on his eyes. "No no no, I would never do this, I'm not a monster, I did it all for my family," he said looking for something to stop the bleeding in the mannequin.

"Then why did you kill me?" appeared Luther in front of him, looking exactly like he had looked when he had found his dead body all those years ago, but with the clothes he was wearing when he had killed his friend, "did I get in your way and you couldn't stop yourself?"

A bucket of freezing water woke him up, a sharp pain on his chest as soon as he lifted his torso.

"Better not move too much Five, your dear brother broke a couple of ribs," smirked the Handler.

"Was the bucket of cold water necessary?" Five mumbled still trying to catch his breath, his whole frame shaking uncontrollably.

"I hope you do realize you look more like a wet kitten than a menacing wolf if that's what you were going for."

Lila snickered at the corner of the room earning a glance from her mother.

"At this point, I'm just looking for a couple of hours of peace to be honest," he rasped remembering Luther's disappointed expression.

"Well, you can't ask for that if you're going to be running to your siblings every time you see one of them, I mean, there's 5 of them."

"Well, you asked me to kill one of his friends, I told you I didn't want to do it."

"I didn't say you shouldn't do your job, just do it better and more efficiently next time."

Five had closed his eyes and his lips had a hue of blue in them, the Handler noticed his lack of response and kicked him in the shin. The Boy woke up looking slightly confused for a moment.

"Mom, maybe we could turn off the AC for a while?" suggested Lila with a glint of concern.

"What, are you actually feeling pity for him?" chuckled the Handler making Lila scowl.

"Psh, not at all, but he won't be of much use to you if he gets ill," she said quickly.

"Well well, look at you darling, you're a smart cookie," her mother smiled, "but you know the air conditioner is protocol, it keeps our guests on edge."

Lila frowned, she knew her mother had been obsessed with this strange man for ages, but this was going too far, even for her, despite having hated him for a long time for monopolizing his mother's attention and the best missions, right now she couldn't help but feel slightly sorry for the poor old bastard.

A timid woman poked her head through the door calling for the Handler.

"Keep an eye on him for a minute, will you?" she said rolling her eyes and following the younger woman outside the torture room, not before spinning some knobs in the machine.

Lila tensed up, this was the first time she was left alone with Five, he might be slightly drugged, but all the wear in his body and the crap being pumped on his system didn't prevent his inquisitive eyes to bore through her.

"You don't seem too comfortable with your mother's methods," finally offered Five noncommittally.

"Yeah, she can be a tad intense," commented Lila completely caught off-guard.

Five snorted good-naturedly tearing a small smile from Lila unintentionally, it was the first time the kid in front of her didn't look like an old man carrying an unfathomable burden on his shoulders.

"What's so funny?" She asked walking to a chair nearby and sitting backwards with her arms resting on the back.

"You are very… forthright to be working here… to be the Handler's daughter," he conceded resting his head on the back of the chair for a minute. What had pushed him to talk to her, hell if he knew, maybe it was the drugs, maybe it was the exhaustion, maybe she reminded him a little of his siblings, she looked around their same age, or maybe it was the loneliness, his or hers, he'd never know; since the apocalypse he had acquired a pretty accurate ability to tell when people felt lonely or isolated and that, despite himself, tended to awake some compassion within him. It took one to know one, he guessed.

Lila scoffed, "What would you know?"

"Well… I won't bore you with the details, but I have some experience working for the Commission and your dear mother."

Now it was Lila's time to snort, "You don't need to tell me that, mom wouldn't shut up about you since I can remember."

"That's… not something I want to hear about," Five had an involuntary shiver at that, which truth be told, was a relief to Lila, she had always wondered if Five returned her mother's creepy feelings, or rather, her obsession. "Anyway…" his head was slowly dropping forward and his voice was becoming slurry, she looked back at the machine, her mom had probably turned on the administration of sedatives and tranquilizers again.

She stretched her arm and slapped his face gently to wake him up, at this the Boy almost jumped out of his skin despite being hardly awake and looked around with wide open eyes.

"Oh, sorry… must've nodded off."

"Yeah well… you were about to say something and… what? it's not like I'm interested in having a conversation with you or anything, I'm just bored."

"Of course," Five tried to add some wit to his retort but the more time passed, the hardest it was to stay awake.

Lila took a moment to observe him, it had barely been around two weeks in the Commission and his face was already looking gaunt and sickly colored, there were purple puffs under his eyes and his lips and fingers kept the bluish hue since her mother had showered him with the ice-cold water.

She looked around and saw Five's bloodstained jacket carelessly tossed in a corner of the room. She took it and walked back to the man in question. His eyes were closed again, so she gingerly lay it over him. He opened his eyes groggily and frowned welcoming the warmth of the jacket. Lila almost jumped back afraid of the infamous Five, but he only nodded silently and closed his eyes again.

"Thank you… you're still young y'know? y'could leave this place, forget 'bout all this and find a better place to call 'ome."

Lila felt a knot on her throat forming, she wanted to yell at him, to scream he was wrong and that she belonged in here with her mother, that this was everything she had, but a part of her couldn't help to mull over his words, and just as she was about to say something else, an even but restless breathing let her know he was no longer conscious.

A few days later, Five opened his eyes groggily, it was hard to stay awake for long periods of time with the cocktail of central nervous system depressants the Handler was most certainly giving him, so in most cases, waking up meant she had lifted some of them from his dosage to send him on a mission, nonetheless, when he looked at the machine, he was surprised to find Lila sitting on the floor looking at him intently.

"Finally!" She spoke with a cryptic expression.

"Oh… it's you," said Five trying hard to focus while she, and the whole room for that matter, danced in his vision.

"What, were you expecting someone else?"

"Well, it's always the Handler so… it's a nice break," he breathed lowering his head.

"What do you mean?" Lila couldn't help to ask.

Five yanked his head up to look back at her, he seemed surprised to see her sitting in front of him, "what?" He asked looking like he was about to be sick.

Lila rolled her eyes a little unsated, "What do you mean by me being here instead of mom is a nice break?"

"Well… for starters she's always so touchy, makes my skin crawl," he said scrunching his nose looking like an actual 13-year-old.

"Well, I won't argue on that one, that is rather unnerving to watch, "Lila conceded with a faint smile.

"And you're not a complete lying psycho," Five continued.

At that, Lila snorted, "You must be joking, I lie so much sometimes I can't even remember what's true and what isn't."

"Well… unfortunately some lying and concealing of information comes with our trade, but I can tell you're not like the Handler."

"Pff, if you're trying to get me on your side, you're hopeless, you little shrew."

"No offense, but the Handler is very resourceful, she'd probably off you as soon as she noticed you were planning something weird."

"You're a jerk, we'd never betray each other… and I'm more resourceful than you think."

Five shook his head at that, no matter who it was, the Handler was a narcissist, she'd never truly care about anyone, "I hope you're right for your own sake," he muttered.

"What?"

"More resourceful? How exactly?" He asked instead.

"Ha! You're really that stupid you haven't even noticed, huh?" she said with a triumphant smile.

"Try focusing on something in my state and I'll give you a frickin' price."

"Yeah, whatever, check this out," Lila said as she pushed herself to the front, hands starting to glow a familiar blue and pupils dilating before she disappeared in front of him and appeared at his back giving him a slap on the head.

"What the…!?" Five felt a chill run down his spine, this woman was a lot more dangerous than he had anticipated, he remembered that time she had seemed to appear at the top of the stairs and the taser shock in the alley, now it all made sense.

"Guess you're not that special now, huh?" She blinked back in front of him immediately holding her temple. "Shit, your power is pretty draining, isn't it?"

"My power? So you don't actually have the same power as I do… you can… copy other people's powers?" drawled Five frowning.

"Ah crap, I probably should have kept that a secret," she smiled coyly, it was clear she was pretty proud of her powers, and who wouldn't, the potential was crazy.

"Now I see why the Handler adopted you," Five snorted, he had to give it to her, that woman was pretty good at gathering the best resources.

"Shut up, you don't know anything!" Lashed Lila. He couldn't blame her; he was too familiar with that childish need to be loved by a parent figure from growing up under Reginald's tutelage.

"…Does Diego know about this?"

"Of course not, that'd break my cover, you idiot, I thought you were supposed to be a good agent."

"Good… the less he knows the better," he sighed deeply, surprised by how awake he was starting to feel, had she really risked taking all the sedatives off him?

"You truly care about them a great deal, don't you?" Came Lila's voice with a glint of jealousy.

"Well, in case you were wondering, I'm not in this situation for the fun of it," he cringed avoiding her eyes, these stupid drugs were lowering his walls uncomfortably low.

"Oh sure, you'd have everything under control if it wasn't for that," Lila snorted.

Five glared at her, "why did you wake me up in any case?"

"What, do I need a reason? I didn't have anything better to do."

Five hummed, "If you say so."

She scoffed. "Listen, you owe me one, it must feel good not to be drugged to the gills for once."

"Yeah well, as much as I'd prefer to stay in oblivion, it's rather nice to be able to think a little clearer for a while... thank you."

"Yuck, don't thank me, we're not friends or anything."

"Of course not, you're still stalking my brother."

"This is the second time you mention him, are you trying to get some information from me?" she arched an eyebrow inquisitively.

"Let's face it, there's not much I could do even if you told me exactly where he was and what he was doing... and I have a feeling you're interested in getting some information as well," he ventured.

"Hmm… probably not… Alright, let's say I tell you, what's in it for me?"

"…I could tell you an embarrassing story about Diego," Five offered after a moment's consideration, at least it seemed like his idiot of a brother was winning her over too despite her mother's warnings. She might be dangerous, but Diego knew how to handle dangerous people.

Notes: Oh my goodness, am I actually going to write some fluff in the next chapter!? You better believe it!

As always, thank you so much for reading! Leave me a comment if you can, hearing from other Five and Umbrella Academy fans makes me happy!