Notes: Oh gosh, I'm a little nervous with this chapter! I had a lot of fun writing it tho, so I really really hope you enjoy it as much!

Time to add a few extra tags to the story! :D

Grace's Birthday Cake

One time, when we were around eight, he planned to make a surprise cake for our robot mother. Obviously she never celebrated her birthday, it's not like she had one, but Diego always saw her as more than a machine...

Lila contained a snort, from what her mom had told her, Five was the one to talk having talked to a mannequin for who knows how many years.

"Come on Five, you're the only one that can leave the academy without dad noticing," whined little Diego.

"I'm sure you could leave too, you're just too afraid to challenge him," Five replied rolling his eyes, he was engrossed trying to solve an advanced math problem on his desk.

"F-F-Fine! I don't even know why I thought about asking you, y-y-you lint licker!"

"Hey, that was years ago and it really looked like a marshmallow!"

"Fiiiive, just say yes, look at him, he's going to cry if you don't!" said Klaus from Five's bed.

"I'm not!" grumbled Diego getting flustered.

Five sighed and closed his notebook, "Fine, what do you want?"

"Yay! This is going to be great," exclaimed Klaus rolling on the bed.

"Could you stop that Fou- Klaus?" Five was still getting used to their names, "…you're messing up my bedcover."

"You're such a nitpicker!" said Klaus sticking his tongue out.

Five shook his head, "just hurry up, Grace is going to do her night patrol soon."

"R-Right! So this is what I need." Diego passed a piece of paper with different ingredients and a bunch of coins.

Five made a fast calculation, he didn't know the price of many of the things in the list, but just considering the amount of ingredients, it was easy to tell it wouldn't be enough for half the list.

"Where did all this money come from?" inquired Klaus approaching them.

"I've been helping mom in the kitchen, she gives me a few coins in exchange sometimes," said Diego proudly.

Five bit the inside of his cheek, he had some money he had saved hoping to spend it on donuts with his brothers and sisters one day, A cake instead of donuts, why not?

"Okay, I'll be back in around an hour, tell everyone to be ready," said Five in case they weren't thinking about including Vanya.

Diego sighed excitedly, Vanya could be there too for all he cared, you didn't need powers to bake a cake, "All right!"

- o -

When he returned, everyone was at the kitchen ready to start.

Luther looked pretty guilty, maybe they shouldn't have told him, he was too loyal to dad, would he be able to keep quiet for Grace's sake?

"We shouldn't be doing this, guys," Number One said.

There you go.

"Come on Lutheeer, it's for mom and it's going to be great!" Allison took Luther's hand in both of hers and made puppy eyes at him.

"O-Okay, if it's for mom," he looked away bashfully.

"Does anybody know how to make a cake?" asked Ben in a timid voice.

Everyone looked at him puzzled.

"O-Of course! I've seen mom do them a thousand times!" ensured Diego, "and I have helped her with a few."

"Licking the bowl after she puts it in the oven is not really helping," muttered Five at Vanya who contained a laugh and elbowed him in the side.

"I heard that F-F-Five."

"Fine, let's start before the night is over," fidgeted Luther looking at the clock in the kitchen.

Everybody knew Diego tried his best to help Grace whenever he wasn't training or studying, but none of them had the heart to tell him he couldn't cook to save a life… after all, how bad could it be? They'd be mixing flour, sugar and cocoa, there was no way for that mix to taste bad, right?

They decided Five would be in charge of figuring the measures since he was the best in math, of course they didn't take on account that he had the biggest sweet tooth out of everyone and that in the end, they were just 8, so he figured the more sugar and chocolate the better.

Diego was in charge of breaking the eggs since he was the only one who knew how to do it, of course no one remembered that every time he helped with breakfast, everyone ate eggshells along with the scrambled eggs.

Luther and Allison were in charge of making sure they didn't forget anything and mixing all the ingredients, so naturally she and Luther ended up covered in flour while they played around.

Ben and Klaus were exhausted from their training, so no one argued as they fell asleep with their heads on the table. None of them ever bothered the others when it came to training, even though their father discouraged them to talk about their individual training sessions, they all could imagine how bad it was for the others from their own experience.

And Vanya was in charge of making the chocolate topping with condensed milk and raw cocoa, again with the help of Five's measurements, at least she had seen mom do it once, so by the time they were finished, both of them had tried it so many times, they were jittery and laughing like a pair of sleep-deprived hyenas.

Finally the mix was ready to be baked but nobody knew what temperature it should be in or for how long it should bake, so they just poured the batter into an unprepared cake pan and popped it into the oven hoping for the best.

While they waited, they tried to clean the kitchen, which quickly turned into mayhem, flour, soap and water flying from one side to the other accompanied by childish laughter. By the time they were done, at least washing the dishes, the cake had been cooking for about two hours. They pulled it out and not only was it burned; it had sunk in with all the noise.

"Holycrap, what's that!?" asked Klaus finally waking up and looking over Diego's shoulder.

"That's the cake…" sulked Diego. He looked like he wanted to cry, so Allison hurried up to comfort him, "I could rumor mom into making her own cake and forgetting about it if you want," she suggested.

"It wouldn't be the same…"

"Look, Vanya's topping looks pretty good, I mean, look at her and Five, they are never that cheerful, I'm sure mom will love it, let's just cover the cake with it and go to sleep," said Luther looking at his watch.

"What about the hole in the middle?" asked Ben softly.

"We'll just fill it with peanut butter and marshmallows!" Stated Five like it was the most obvious thing to do.

Allison made a face at that, "you and your peanut butter and marshmallows Five, how can you even eat that?"

"To be fair is not that bad," murmured Ben and Vanya nodded.

"You both can admit it's disgusting, Five won't stop liking you if you do," Diego rolled his eyes.

"Well, does any of you have a better idea?" asked Five derisively.

Everybody stood silent for a moment.

"Then peanut and marshmallows it is," he said with his signature tight lipped wide smile.

After finishing with the topping, Klaus was supposed to do the decoration, but in the end everyone ended up contributing with something, even Five, he might not be attached to Grace like the others, but he knew she meant a lot to his siblings.

- o -

The next morning, Diego got up early to see Grace's surprised face, but he was met with a humming Grace cleaning the kitchen, no trace of the cake they had all so earnestly prepared.

"Ah honey, you're up, did you have a good rest? It seems like some kobolds broke into the house last night and tried to cook for us… unfortunately their dish wasn't really edible, so I threw it out… What's wrong, Diego dear? Are you unwell?"

"N-N-No m-mom, I'm alright," Diego said rubbing his eyes quickly, truth be told, mom was right, the cake was probably disgusting.

Diego didn't notice, but Five had heard the conversation from the door, he would never forget the sadness in his brother's slumped shoulders, maybe he didn't have the money to take them for donuts anymore, but he made a mental note to ask Vanya to make some more chocolate topping, maybe everyone could pay Diego an unexpected visit that night.

As Five was accounting the story, he seemed to have forgotten the original intent and who he was telling it to, because as he advanced on the events, his eyes seemed to lit up with nostalgia and affection, so much that Lila didn't interrupt once and even hesitated in teasing him after he was done, for some reason this man had gifted her with a precious memory, one that was far from anything she had ever experienced.

When he stopped, he noticed her touched expression and looked away self-consciously, these memories he carried with him had kept him sane for all those years and as much as he'd hardly ever admit that to his brothers and sisters, he didn't really mind telling them to strangers.

"So Diego was so embarrassed, he started practicing on his own every night until he became a more or less decent cook."

"That story wasn't embarrassing... it was just… depressing, okay, maybe it was cute enough to give me diabetes, but not really embarrassing."

"That's because I'm not done yet," Five said impatiently, "it just needed the preamble," he cleared his throat.

"Oh, there's more?" Lila couldn't hide a note of excitement, she had noticed Diego had a soft side to him, but she had never imagined this level of adorability.

"After that I blinked back to my room and the rest woke up later, so before anyone could ask Grace, Diego decided to tweak her tale and make everyone believe kobolds had actually stolen the cake because it was so good. The thing is, since ingredients disappeared every night due to his practicing, Grace kept telling these crazy stories about kobolds and Diego kept fostering them every time he could, he even started fabricating false footsteps and stealing cat fur from the neighbor's cats to spread around the cupboard," he chuckled with a crooked smile shaking his head at the memory. "That's probably when he got interested in all the detective crap, now that I think about it."

"Oh God, really?"

"Yeah, I think he went as far as to make some sort of costume when the others started questioning the existence of the so-called kobold because one night Allison swore she had seen a furry thing scurrying out of the kitchen when she came down for a glass of water."

"Okay okay, you earned it, what d'you wanna know?" Lila started laughing so hard she had to rub some tears from the corner of her eyes. "I'd pay to see that costume; I can't believe you didn't say anything."

"I never had the heart to break his cover, he just didn't want everyone to feel as disappointed as he had been," Five smiled uncharacteristically softly, he had always had a complicated relationship with Diego, they hardly ever saw eye to eye, but he knew that he would be willing to do whatever was within his power to protect those he loved, and whether he admitted it or not, they would always agree on that.

"Well well, what do we have here, aren't you two getting awfully talkative over there?" Chanted the voice of the Handler through the glass window upstairs.

Lila flinched but immediately jumped to her feet without missing a beat, "God, you're finally back!"

The Boy gave her a significant look between worry and a conversation left unfinished. The Handler moved from the glass after signaling her to join her upstairs and Lila took the chance to wink and whisper "I'll fulfil my part of the deal later."

"So what exactly where you doing, darling?" Inquired the Handler as soon as Lila reached the top floor.

"I was just fishing for some intel to have some fun messing up with his brother while I waited for you, mom," blustered Lila nonchalantly.

"Is that so?"

"Of course, what else would I be doing?"

"Good, but you really shouldn't be fraternalizing with someone like Five, he can be pretty deceptive to naïve minds like yours," cautioned the Handler.

Lila scowled, she hated when her mom treated her like a child, "come on, you're overestimating him."

"Oh, trust me, I'm not darling, he might be drugged and weakened, but he'll take any chance he can get if we give him an opening," the Handler looked through the window at a glaring Five, "You should go back to the mental facility, we'll need you to get closer to his brother in case we need another way to force his hand," she ordered giving Five a mocking smile.

"I'm not sure I can get any closer without him getting suspicious, mom, I need more time."

"Come on Lila, you're a smart woman, I'm sure he'll buy anything you say to him if you so much as bat your eyelashes at him."

Lila hid an exasperated sigh, Diego wasn't stupid, and she… it's not like she was starting to feel something for him but…

Notes:

Ahhh, I hope you liked it and that I managed to keep everyone on character! It's quite a challenge to have so many characters at the same time, but at some point they just took charge of my hands and the mayhem started.

About Five's sweet tooth headcanon, it's quite interesting because the fandom seems to be split into people that think he dislikes sweet stuff because he's a staid and dignified old man and likes his coffee black and people that think he loves sweet stuff, so why am I inclined to think he's a sweet tooth? Well hear me out, we've seen him prepare himself the peanut and marshmallow sandwich (and there are fewer things sweeter than marshmallows), we have seen the Handler offering him a Fudge Nutter and then he himself trying to get one, we have seen him eating candy in the Handler's office and taking an extra one (which ended up being a trap, meaning the Handler knew he'd fall for it) and we saw him eating nothing but fruit at Luther's wedding - and later a bowl of cereal, so I'm almost sure his need for energy probably makes him crave for sweets and stimulants like coffee - and lets face it, coffee with sugar is not that good (unless you turn it into a delicious frappe but then you don't get all the caffeine - and maybe he never tried one and now thinks it's kinda childish and we know how much he hates being seen as a kid), coffee with milk is more decent, but nothing like a black coffee to feel energized! - Aaand I'm done with the ramble, I've thought too much about this topic lol XD

Anyways, thank you so so much for walking along with me on this story. Remember to leave a comment if you can, I'd love to hear from you guys :)