Plastered Paradox

Chapter 16

"Can you stop pacing, already?"

Qrow looked back to Raven, a hand on his hip. "Oh, I'm sorry, excuse me if I'm more than a little anxious, considering we're only waiting for the fucking Grimm Queen herself to basically come flatten us with an entire army of creatures that are pure evil, and also the Grimm. Forgive me if that bothers me just a little bit."

"You're not forgiven," Raven said. "Why can't you be more like Jaune? He's taking it rather well."

"Damn straight," Jaune said as he rose a bottle of bourbon to his lips and drained the entire thing in one go.

Raven stared at him for a moment, then blinked. "Would it really kill you to be normal for five minutes? I was just doling out compliments to you, and then you had to go and fuck it up."

"This is normal for me," Jaune pointed out. "How many times do I have to tell you people that my competence levels are inversely proportional to my sobriety? If I'm gonna be kicking ass, then I'm gonna have to be fucking loaded first, if you catch my drift. Otherwise we're all just fucked."

"I think we might be fucked anyway," Qrow pointed out.

"Nah, it's fine; we've got Glynda here with us."

"Look man, I know you're basically terrified of her and all, but Glynda is nowhere near as competent as you think she is."

"I heard that!" Glynda called from just outside the barricaded front doors of the school, causing Qrow to wince.

"Hey, you can doubt me all you want, but don't go doubting Goodwitch," Jaune argued. "She's the most competent person I know, even above drunk me. I mean, how the hell else do you think she manages to run an entire school full of hormonal teenage retards, and also Ozpin? At this point, I'm convinced she's basically the only thing holding Beacon together. That damn school's probably just about collapsed under the weight of Peter Port and his massive ego by now, purely because she took a vacation for the first time in ever."

"You call taking time off to fight the Grimm queen a vacation?" Raven asked, raising an eyebrow.

"All I'm saying is that between dealing with Salem and putting up with a school full of angsty teenagers with edgy backstories, I know exactly which one I'd prefer," Jaune said. "And anyway, you're missing the point, Qrow – it's not that Glynda is super-competent, even though she is… rather, it's the fact that she's fucking enormously hot, so hot that I doubt the Gods would actually let her die an unnatural death at any point in her life, despite how scary she is."

They all paused and listened in for Glynda to chastise him, only for nothing to come through the door. Qrow turned towards him, visibly frustrated.

"What the fuck, how come it works for you?!"

"Because you don't believe," Jaune explained. He drained another bottle of bourbon, then tossed it aside and rose to his feet, dusting off Jacques Schnee's pants as he did so. "Anyway, I'm gonna go talk to Cinder."

"How are you going to do that?" Raven asked. "We barricaded ourselves inside the school."

"Why'd we do that, anyway?" Qrow asked. "Pretty sure Hazel can just burst through the walls like the fucking Schnee-Aid Man, if he so desires."

"Wonder how many people are gonna get that reference," Jaune mused. "But come on, Raven – you know the answer to that question already."

Raven's eyes narrowed. "No, Jaune."

"Oh, come on, Rae. This might be the last time I get to talk to her before one of Salem's lackeys kills me."

"I said no."

"Please, for me?"

Jaune did his best approximation of Ruby's famous puppy-dog eyes. It shouldn't have worked, because he was a drunken, alcoholic mess of a man instead of an admittedly adorable teenager, but after a few seconds, Raven's will began to falter. Finally, she let out a sigh of resignation.

"Fine," she acquiesced. "But we are not making this a regular thing. I am not your personal portal fairy."

She tore open a portal to Cinder. Jaune stared at it for a second, then looked back to her. "You know, it's actually kinda sweet that you now have portals for me and Cinder."

"Leave!"

Jaune didn't need to be told twice. He jumped through the portal and came out the other end, and found himself face-to-face with Cinder.

"Yes?" she asked.

Jaune picked himself up. "Oh, nothing much. Figured I'd talk with you a little bit before a whole lot of people started to die. You know, see how you're holding up in the face of impending annihilation, that sort of thing."

"I mean, I was doing fine until you brought that up, but now I'm more than a little nervous."

"Oh, you thought I was talking about your annihilation? Nah, if anyone's going to die between the two of us, it's gonna be me. Believe me, you're safe with Glynda – hell, if worse comes to worse, she can just turn all the Grimm to stone with a glance."

"I'm going to pretend like I didn't hear that, because I need to save my Aura for the Grimm," Glynda said without looking for a few feet away.

"Look, point is, you're perfectly safe with Glynda," Jaune emphasized.

Cinder sniffed the air a bit, then crossed her arms and gave him a baleful look. "You're drunk."

"Yeah, and the sky is blue. Any other keen observations you feel like making today?"

"Here's a keen observation for you – I think I prefer you when you're sober."

"That's-" Jaune paused. "Huh. For real?"

Cinder nodded. "I understand that you're drinking because apparently you need to bury some bad memories or some shit, but seriously, that's not healthy and I don't like watching my guardian drink himself into an early grave. Did you ever consider that?"

"No, actually," Jaune admitted. "I didn't think you cared that much, honestly."

"Well, I do," Cinder declared. "Don't get me wrong, you are an abrasive asshole of a person, and I'd be better off with almost anyone else on Remnant… but that's not how things went. For better or for worse, I'm here with you now, and I wouldn't trade that for anything, even if I had the option to. I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but… I enjoy the time I get to spend with you, and with Raven. Despite your faults, you both treat me well enough. So yes, it pains me to see you drinking like a fish all the time."

Jaune blinked. "Wow, that's… actually very sweet of you, Cinder."

"That's it?" Cinder said with a scoff.

Jaune shook his head. "No, I suppose I should do more, shouldn't I? Well, alright. I'm not quitting drinking yet, but… I suppose I can cut back for you, just enough so that the drinking won't kill me outright."

"I suppose that's fine enough for now," Cinder said dryly. "Was there anything else you wanted?"

"Well, as long as we're having a little heart-to-heart, there is something I wanted to say."

"Oh? What's that? Another observant-yet-off-putting remark from our resident soon-to-be-not-quite-so-drunk?"

"No, I just wanted to say that I'm proud of you."

Cinder paused, staring at him with wide eyes. "What…? You… you're proud of…"

"Oh, yeah, kiddo," Jaune said. He reached out to place a hand on her shoulder, and this time, she didn't shy away from it. "You've made a lot of progress since we started traveling together, and I started training you. Haven't you noticed that?"

Cinder hesitated for a moment. "I… no, I just… figured…"

"Figured what? That you weren't going to get better at it?" Jaune shook his head. "Cinder, look at what you've accomplished so far. You're taking on packs of Grimm by yourself, and coming out victorious. Sure, that King Taijitu got you not too long ago, but that was just bad luck; it happens to the best of us. Hell, I've got a scar on my right asscheek from the time when-"

"Please do not finish that story," Cinder said, disgusted. "I really, really do not need to hear about your asscheeks."

"Uh, right. Point is, we all slip up from time to time, that's why we travel in teams. And for someone who's had to work separate from the group these past few encounters, you've been doing fantastically."

Again, Cinder hesitated. "I just… you're truly proud of me? Truly?"

Jaune grinned at her, then brought a hand up to ruffle her hair. "Truly," he promised.

Cinder blinked, and then a wide smile split her face. Unfortunately, it was marred by a far-off roar from the distance.

"I hate to interrupt your weird little father-daughter bonding moment, but I think it's about to get busy," Glynda declared. "You both had better look sharp."

Jaune nodded, then looked back to Cinder. "Stick close to Glynda," he reminded her. "And stay safe."

"I will if you will," Cinder said.

"I'll do my best, then."

With that, Jaune gave her a quick hug, then pulled away just in time for Raven to open a portal to him. He spared Cinder one last glance, then stepped through the portal and emerged back at Raven's side. He found her staring at him in surprise.

"Alright," Jaune said as he dusted himself off. "How much of that did you hear?"

"Only all of it," Qrow declared. "But for real, that was beautiful, man. You clearly have a knack for inspirational speeches."

"Thanks, I learned from the best."

"Who's the best?"

"Ru-" Jaune caught himself just in time, then hurriedly broke into a cough to cover it up. "Uh, let's just say that after this, I'll reveal everything to you guys."

"Assuming we live," Raven grunted.

"Aw, don't be like that, Rae – we're gonna be fine."

There was a series of gunshots and explosions from outside the door, followed by panicked screaming. Jaune's expression fell.

"Alright, yeah, that sounded smarter in my head," he said. "Okay, for real, where are these fucking people? Because the attack seems to have started, so they should, like, be here by now."

Right as the words had left his mouth, the back wall exploded. The three of them instantly pulled their weapons as Rachel, Hazel, and Tyrian stepped into the school.

"So much for the barricades," Raven noted.

"Dude, do you have to jinx everything?" Qrow lamented.

"Oh, shut up," Jaune said. His gaze slid back towards Salem's minions, who had stopped on the other side of the room. "I see the peanut gallery has arrived. I'm surprised the Queen let you all off your leashes long enough to come down here of your own power. Unless I'm wrong, and she's also waiting just outside?"

"Mm, nope," Rachel said, popping the 'P'. "Salem trusts us enough to know that we'll get this taken care of quickly enough. I mean, you three couldn't even beat us back then when it was three-on-one, how are you supposed to take us now that it's three-on-three?"

"Well, there's one big thing you're overlooking," Jaune pointed out.

"Oh? And what would that be? Wait, wait – is this the part where you give a big, empowering speech about the power of friendship, and how you'll defeat us because of your close bonds with your allies?"

"What? No. Gods, no. No, this is the part where I inform you that this time, I just drank a whole shit-ton of alcohol, enough that I can feel my liver simultaneously doing somersaults and waving a white flag inside me, which is a surefire indication that you're all just utterly fucked. I mean, seriously, what you just said is stupid. What, are we supposed to talk each other to death instead of fight? Nah, let's hurry up and kill each other; I've got a teenager to get back to."

"If you insist," Rachel said.

The three of them began to spread out, and Jaune's gaze narrowed. "Qrow, take Hazel," he said.

Qrow's jaw dropped. "The fuck, dude?! Why are you sticking me with the big, fridge-looking motherfucker?!"

"Because unlike you, I've got testicles of steel, so I can stand having Tyrian try and castrate me through my Aura."

"I suppose that leaves me with Rachel, then?" Raven asked. A manic grin split her face. "Good. Finally, I get to kill someone."

They all took up their positions, and for a moment, none of them moved.

Then, all hell broke loose.

Tyrian moved first, of course. He closed in on Jaune, his blades glowing purple. Jaune was able to block the incoming strike with his shield, but Tyrian was fast, and Jaune was soon on the backfoot, forced to dodge incoming strikes instead of merely try to block them. And dodge he did, as he waited for the right moment.

It came after just a few seconds, when Jaune ducked to avoid an incoming strike that would have taken his head clean off. Tyrian overextended, and Jaune punished him for it, bashing him in the stomach with the pointed side of his shield. Tyrian's eyes bugged out, and he hurriedly leaped back, putting some space between the two of them. He stared at Jaune, his mechanical stinger lashing angrily behind him.

"Not bad," he commented.

"Sorry, I don't take compliments from psychos," Jaune said. "Especially not psychos I've already killed once before."

Tyrian stared at him, confused, before his face contorted in rage. "No, no, no! You will not confuse me again!"

"What do you mean, again? This is the first time I've ever met you, dude."

"It will not work!" Tyrian screeched. "Die!"

He launched into another series of blows, with Jaune doing his best to block, sidestep, or parry each one as ti came for him. Finally, him and Tyrian locked blades, the two of them glaring at each other, before Jaune started pushing him back. Tyrian's eyes widened in surprise as he was forced back, and he dug his heels in to try and stop from being pushed, but Jaune was able to overpower him and send him flying backwards.

"Do you even lift, bro?" Jaune asked.

"Stop with the mid-fight dialogue!" Tyrian shouted as he picked himself up. "It isn't funny or quirky, it's just annoying!"

"Aw, but my girl loves my mid-fight quips. Right, Raven?"

"I'm not your girl! Also, I'm a little busy over here!" Raven shouted, as she matched a tornado coming out of Rachel's arms with a strong gust of wind from her own sword.

"Yes, I can see that," Jaune commented. "How about you, Qrow? Are you also in mortal danger?"

Qrow suddenly came flying past him, landing in the wall behind him hard enough to make a Qrow-shaped crater. The two of them stared at each other for a moment. "I've been better," Qrow deadpanned.

There was a loud shout, and suddenly Tyrian was on him once more. Jaune braced himself for the incoming blow, but was surprised when a sudden wall of fire burst up between the two of them. His eyes narrowed.

"Raven, I'm fine," he said.

"Oh, so now you're complaining when I try to help you?" Raven demanded.

"Yes, given that I'm fine."

"You don't look fine."

"You don't look much better. Watch out for that thing."

A block of ice suddenly hit Raven in the head. She immediately turned back towards Rachel, a snarl on her face. "You'll pay for that, bitch!"

Jaune watched as she leaped straight into the middle of a small storm, drawing her sword in the same motion. He blinked, then turned his attention back to Tyrian.

"Does it tire you out, having to deal with crazy women all the time?" he asked. "Because it tires me out, I'll tell you that much."

Tyrian let out a yell and leaped through the fire, aiming for his throat with his blades. Jaune waited for the right time, then parried the blow and countered with one of his own, scoring a deep cut into Tyrian's Aura across his chest. He expected Tyrian to back off, but he didn't – instead, he simply continued to rain blows down on Jaune, steadily forcing him down to the ground.

"Fuck you!" Tyrian shouted. "Fuck your friends! Fuck your stupid, quirky quips! Fuck your insanity-inducing everything! I am going to kill you so hard, you will die to death!"

Jaune blocked an incoming strike with his sword, but Tyrian suddenly twisted, wrenching Crocea Mors from his grasp and throwing it across the room. Jaune heard it hit against something solid.

"Ow!" Raven shouted. "Jaune!"

"It wasn't me!" Jaune shouted. "Blame the insane scorpion man trying to kill me!"

Tyrian reached forward and wrapped his hand around Jaune's throat, then hoisted him into the air and poised his stinger for a killing blow. Jaune held tight onto his shield, and then as the stinger came for his eye socket, he swung with all his might. He'd expected to sever the stinger, but instead all he did was knock it off-course and put a nasty-looking dent in it. Still, it had the desired effect – Tyrian was thrown off-balance, and Jaune was able to shake free.

He dropped to the ground below, and without missing a beat, swung his shield for Tyrian's midsection. Tyrian moved back at the last second to avoid it, and Jaune found himself forced to bring his shield up to guard yet again. He let out an annoyed growl as he did so.

"Alright, this is getting old fast," he said. "Hey, arachnid-man – want to see a magic trick?"

"I've had enough of your tricks!" Tyrian shouted.

"Damn, tough crowd tonight. Might as well bust it out anyway, I suppose. Here, watch this."

Tyrian closed in again, and at the last second, Jaune activated his Semblance. His Aura suddenly pulsed as it was reinforced, and Tyrian's incoming blow bounced right off. He stared in bewilderment as Jaune's body was surrounded by the bright white of his Aura. Jaune, meanwhile, merely smirked.

"Now, it's a party," he said.

His opponent's eyes narrowed, and the two of them began to circle one another, both of them looking for an opening of some kind. Jaune moved first, suddenly leaping at Tyrian with his sword at the ready. Tyrian tried to punish him for it, but a quick flare of his Semblance was all Jaune needed to fend him off. Jaune closed in again, and Tyrian reached out and grabbed his sword; his Aura flared around his hand, but Jaune was forced to disengage, as Tyrian brought his own blades around. He narrowly managed to pull back in time for one of the blades to miss his jugular by mere inches.

Jaune stepped back, pivoting towards Tyrian already prepared to guard, but Tyrian simply stood there, watching and waiting. Jaune blinked and stared back.

"It would seem," he ventured, "that we are at an impasse."

"So it would seem," Tyrian grunted. "An unstoppable force has met an immovable object. Whatever shall we do to rectify this situation?"

Jaune thought for a moment. "Hey, Qrow."

"Kinda busy!" Qrow said from across the room as he desperately tried to avoid Hazel's incoming strikes.

"Well, it's about to get even busier."

"What do you-"

That was as far as Qrow made it before Tyrian suddenly closed in on him, forcing him to go on the defensive. Hazel followed after them, each step shaking the room, but Jaune was quick to intercept him in order to pull some of the heat away from Qrow.

"Asshole!" Qrow shouted.

Jaune ignored him in favor of sizing up Hazel, who loomed overhead, his entire body already sparking with electricity from the Dust he'd injected earlier.

"You know," Jaune offered, "you don't have to serve Salem, considering she's the one who killed your sister."

"Ozpin is the one who sent her to die," Hazel growled through gritted teeth.

"Right, but Salem is the one who actually killed her. So, knowing that, how does serving her make any sense? I guess what I'm trying to say is, you should totally abandon Salem and come fight alongside us, because we really need a big guy of our own to round out the quartet we have going right now. So, what do you say?"

Hazel's response came in the form of a punch rocketing straight for Jaune's face. Jaune raised his shield just in time, but the sheer force of the impact still sent him flying across the room, where he made impact with the back wall and left a decidedly Jaune-shaped crater right next to the Qrow-shaped crater from earlier.

"Alright, yeah, I should have seen that coming," Jaune said.

He peeled himself out of the crater just in time for Hazel to close in on him again. Jaune threw himself to the floor, and Hazel's fist soared overhead, taking a few strands of his hair before it was left embedded in the wall. Hazel didn't waste any time, however – he pulled himself out of the wall and rounded on Jaune again. Jaune, meanwhile, hesitated.

"Alright, this was a bad idea, I admit it," he said. "Considering I'm not sure if I can kill you since you do end up betraying Salem in like a decade or so." Another electrified fist came for him, and Jaune moved out of the way. "Then again, my decision gets easier with every punch."

Hazel finally let out an annoyed roar, then leaned down and tore a chunk of flooring out before throwing it at Jaune. Without thinking, Jaune dodged rather than try and block it… and the flooring kept going before hitting Qrow square in the face.

"Fuck!" Qrow shouted.

"Sorry, man!" Jaune said. "It's that bad luck Semblance, I swear I'm not doing it on purpose!"

"I know, I know! Just take care of that big fucker already, would you?!"

Well, it was tough for him to argue with that, especially when Qrow was busy getting his ass beat and Raven was struggling. Jaune sighed, then flared his Semblance again right as Hazel's fist impacted against his cheek. A massive shockwave erupted through the room, but Jaune still stood, completely unperturbed.

"Okay," he said, "fuck the future, I'm going in hard."

Hazel barely had time for his eyes to widen before Jaune suddenly moved, his sword screaming through the air. Hazel was completely unprepared for the incoming flurry of strikes to tear so deeply through his Aura. He tried to guard, but Jaune just kept moving and slashing, ripping chunks from his Aura the entire time.
Finally, Hazel managed to retaliate, reaching out and blindly catching Jaune across the face. Jaune recoiled from the strike, which gave Hazel time to move, and he hurriedly grabbed Jaune by the head and threw him into the nearest obstacle.

Which, it turned out, happened to be Rachel.

The two of them ended up in a heap on the floor, with Jaune lying on top of her. Something sharp grazed the center of his spine, and he sighed tiredly.

"...Yup," he said, "this is a real shit-sucker."

"Blame Qrow's Semblance," Raven said, still frozen and poised over him with her sword mere millimeters from his spine.

"I intend to."

And then Rachel blasted him off her with a gust of wind so strong, it sent him through the ceiling and he ended up in one of the upper levels of the Academy. Jaune quickly pulled himself from the rubble, barely managing to get it off him in time to Hazel follow him up by leaping from floor to floor. He readied himself, his Semblance already prepared, but Hazel wasn't having it, and instead stopped on the floor below, then began tearing out chunks from the floor and the walls again. Jaune moved again, trying to leap down to where Hazel was at, dodging flying bits of Lionheart's Academy the entire time as he did so.

He landed in front of Hazel and managed to knock a bit more off his Aura in the process with a wild swing. Hazel retaliated with a swing of his own, but Jaune flared his Semblance at the last second, and Hazel's fist stopped dead in its tracks. Jaune took a breath, then expelled his Semblance outwards, sending Hazel flying back. As he flew, Jaune closed in, but he never got a chance to get up in his face before Tyrian jumped up to the same floor and landed in front of him, then grabbed him and threw him back down to the ground floor.

Jaune hit the ground hard, and felt his breath be driven out of him. His Aura flickered and then faded, and he was forced to roll to avoid an incoming strike from Tyrian that would have taken his head clean off. Tyrian's attack cratered the ground where he'd been lying just a moment ago, and Jaune hurriedly scrambled to his feet.

"Qrow, what the fuck?!" he shouted. "You were supposed to keep him busy!"

"He hit me… in the dick… again…" Qrow whined from his spot on the ground, in the fetal position.

Jaune rolled his eyes. "Dude, we seriously need to get you a cup or something. This is just ridiculous."

"Why couldn't he just kill me…?"

Tyrian rushed Jaune down in that moment, and Jaune again was forced to roll out of the way of the slash. Tyrian was relentless, however, and Jaune was soon on the backfoot, frantically trying to guard against Tyrian's wild attacks, the scorpion Faunus occasionally slipping by his defenses just enough to land a shallow cut or two into him before Jaune was able to fend him off.

There was a loud thud, and Jaune knew that Hazel had just landed. Desperate, he called out to Raven.

"Raven, if you're gonna kill that weaboo bitch, now would be the-"

There was a rush of air, followed by a choked gasp. Everyone froze and turned towards the back of the room, where they found Raven standing there, her sword sticking through Rachel's stomach and out her back. Rachel was futilely grasping at the blade, trying to pry herself off of it, but it was no use. She sent one last, hate-filled glare Raven's way, and then slumped over and died.

For a moment, nothing happened, and then there was a massive explosion of light that sent them all flying backwards. Jaune didn't even have time to dig in his heels before he was sent back, landing next to Qrow in a heap.

It only lasted for a moment, and then it was over. Raven stood there, her eyes ablaze as she stared at her hands in shock. Then, slowly, she turned back towards Jaune.

"You were saying?" she asked, smug.

Jaune rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah… just get these assholes out of here, would you?"

"With pleasure."

And then a massive lightning storm formed in the center of the room. Jaune stared at it in surprise, then blinked. "...Uh, did you mean to do that?"

"Um, no," Raven said tentatively. "I meant for a single bolt of lightning. Guess I put too much juice into it… uh, heh, you may want to take cover, because this looks like it might be a little… indiscriminate."

That was the last thing Jaune heard before a giant bolt of lightning came rocketing out of the center of the storm and hit him in the chest.

Ayy lmao the most recent chapter of the show completely invalidated this fic's entire setup since Jaune would actually be way older than he is here, assuming he ever makes it back to Remnant in the first place, which he very well might not. My prediction is that he's going to park his ass in the Ever After and spend the rest of his days basically going snorkeling in psycho ice cream girl puss. I will not be convinced of any alternative until I physically see it in the show with my own eyes. I am Knightfall trash but I am also Silent Knight trash too, so I would consider this scenario an absolute win as well. Literally the only reason I'm not currently writing Silent Knight is because writing a mute character is hard as balls and also because I don't want to piss off Sunset Hunting since he's the guy who got me into Knightfall in the first place, and I'm afraid if I stray from the path then he will hang me as a traitor to the cause. Full disclosure: I legitimately cannot remember if Sunset enjoys Knightfall as well but I figure it's best to play it safe around someone who actually knows how to fight. After all, I can't be armed all the time, but he can still know martial arts all the time, meaning I am never truly safe unless I start installing shower guns in my house or something. Just hang a fucking USP up in a box in the shower with a sign over it that says 'In case of angry Sunset, break glass' or something.

Anyway, I don't have much to report fic-wise. The weeb bitch is finally dead, killed by another weeb bitch. It's chaos as usual. Is anyone really surprised that the shitty OC character bit the dust so quickly and easily? I'm not. Then again, I wrote the thing, so maybe that's why.

What else? Oh, right - I mentioned that Eve Taurus fic I'm working on awhile back, yeah? That's still being worked on, I'm just being a lazy prick about it. It's probably going to be a three-shot; I'm working on the third chapter right now. I'm planning to try and finish it this week and then pass it over to my buddy Ickabrd so he can tell me in so many words if it's good to post or if it's totally fucking fucked big-time and needs to be reworked in some way. Props to him, as always - I appreciate the help he provides with all my stories, both the fanfics and the originals.

Speaking of originals, I'm currently putting the finishing touches on the rough draft for my second original story, so keep an eye out for that if you're interested. It takes place in the same shared universe as the first one, except it happens on a different world and follows different characters (one of them is Thana's sister; that'll make sense to people who read the first book). Synopsis-wise, it's a Fallout 3-inspired post-apocalyptic story where a magical world underwent an industrial revolution, developed modern weapons that surpassed anything their magic could do, and then proceeded to magically nuke themselves to oblivion. It's different from the first story in that it's completely serious and not at all a comedy, but honestly, I think it's better written than the first one was. Not to say I disliked working on the first one, but I can feel myself improving with every original I write. Anyway, if that sounds interesting to you, I'll make an announcement when it finally comes out, hopefully in a few weeks or so since I still need to finish the rough draft, fix any parts that need to be fixed, format everything, and then upload it all and make sure it's good to go. Until then, there's still my first story for those of you who are interested. Speaking of which, I will now close this incredibly lengthy AN with a shameless plug. Thanks for reading, and I hope to see you all next update!

Enjoy my work and want to help me out a bit? You can support me, as well as read more of my writing, over on Amazon. My first original story is available for purchase now, you can find it by going on Amazon and searching for 'I Accidentally Summoned the Demon Queen' by John Haruspex. The story is available now for three bucks in ebook format (or free with Kindle Unlimited) or twelve bucks in paperback format, if you prefer physical media.

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