Chapter 14
(Phoebe's POV)
Nathan is working later than usual tonight doing his shift at the ER. So I am just making myself some pasta. I am never keen on cooking if I don't have to. I make pasta with red sauce and have some lemon water.
I watch the bachelor and lounge around. It is boring here with Nathan. That is why having kids will be so good for us. We've been talking about kids more and more recently.
I was told there is a chance I could get pregnant right after the IUD removal if we had sex the week of the removal which we did. We both have been hoping I am. I still haven't gotten my period either.
Work helps keep my mind off of thinking about pregnancy 24/7. Today I was with Henry a lot. He is seriously the cutest. His foster family has officially given him up. The problem is we are in a serious shortage of foster families and parents in Washington. Meaning he is at the hospital until someone comes forward.
It breaks my heart because he really does deserve a great home. All kids do. I have never really thought about adopting until now.
I decide to shower. I wash my hair and my body. I am due for a haircut soon man is this hair long. I get out and put on sweats and one of Nathan's T-shirts. I go back out to the main room.
I get a phone call. I look down seeing it is my dad. I smile and pick it up. "Hello," I say.
"Hey Bubs, how are you," he says.
"I am good, and you?" I ask.
"Better now, I was wondering if you and Nathan would be interested in going to a ball this weekend. It is for the children's hospital of Bellevue. Your grandma is running it. Ted and Olivia will be there. So will Ava and Andrew," he says. Shoot no getting out of this one.
"Of course we would, just text me the day and time," I say.
"Really?" He says.
"Yes of course," I say. I'm not a complete asshole.
"Thank you, Bubs. I know it will mean a lot to Grandma Grace," he knows I can't stand to upset them.
"Anyway how are you really? What has been going on?" He asks.
"Not much beside working and having everyone around me get pregnant," I say and he laughs.
"Has work been good?" He asks.
"It is has been. I have loved it so much recently," I say.
"That makes me happy, Bubs. Well I will let you go. I love you so much," he says.
"I love you more," I say. We hang up and I go back to my couch sitting.
Nathan gets home and I am still up. "Hi," I say popping up from the couch. He smirks and comes over.
"What are you still doing up, love?" He asks me.
"I can't sleep without you, you know that," I say and he smiles leaning down kissing me.
"Well let's go to bed then," he says. I smile and stand up. We walk into our bedroom and I get into bed. He strips down to his boxers and climbs in with me.
"How was work?" I ask him.
"It was okay, had a broken arm and an appendicitis scare," he says and I nod.
"We are going to a fundraiser tomorrow for Bellevue Childrens," I say. "Ava and Andrew and Teddy and Olivia are going," I say.
"Oh sounds good," Nathan says. He is so go with the flow.
All of a sudden I feel something in my pants. I get up to go to the bathroom. When I walk in and pull down my pants my heart drops. I got my period. Meaning I am not pregnant.
I sit there in shock for a second. I know this is our first round trying, but the disappointment is there. I don't even think I have any tampons. I put my head in my hands and tears flow down my face.
Everyone around us is getting pregnant. I guess I was just hoping for the same. Nathan is going to be so bummed. That makes me even more upset.
All of a sudden Nathan knocks. "Bee are you okay?" He asks. Shit I don't want him to see me cry.
"Yes," I say.
"Can I come in?" He asks. I pull up my sweats and flush the toilet and come out.
I start washing my hands as Nathan stares at me. "What's wrong?" He asks.
"Oh nothing," I say. He sighs and takes me in his arms rubbing my back. That's when I break down crying. I feel like a failure.
"Bee, what is wrong?" He asks.
"I got my period," I say. I look up and see Nathan's face drop a bit.
"I'm sorry," I say. When I say that he cups my cheeks.
"Do not apologize, Bee. You can't control it. This is our first time even trying. We have so much time. And now we can track your periods," he says.
"I just really wanted to be pregnant," I say. Nathan hugs me tightly.
"I know you did, sweetheart," he says kissing my head.
"I need to go get stuff. I have no pads or tampons here," I say. Nathan pulls back and wipes my tears.
"Well let's go together then," he says. I nod and we walk out. We get into the car and I stare out the window. I am so bummed. Nathan strokes my hand holding it tightly.
"Don't worry Bee, we are going to make a baby," he says and kisses my hand. I nod and keep staring. We pull up to a Walgreens and when I start to get out Nathan stops me.
"I got it, you stay warm in here," I smile and he shuts and locks the door. I feel myself bleed in my underwear. I forgot how horrible periods are. I start to cry again. I just wanted to be pregnant so bad. I really thought it would be that easy. Watching two of my best friends who weren't even trying to get pregnant makes it hard too.
Nathan comes out with a bag. When he gets in, he hands me the bag. He got pads and tampons for me. There is chocolate and midol in there too.
"I remember you said you always craved chocolate and your cramps were bad," he says and I smile wiping my tears. I am so lucky.
When we get home I quickly go to the bathroom. Nathan comes in and hands me a pair of his sweats and new underwear. He takes my dirty ones out. I thank him and clean myself up.
When I am situated, I come lay back in bed. He takes me in his arms. I cry for a little bit as he holds me. The disappointment is there. "Thank you for everything," I say. He shakes his head holding me closer.
"For better or for worse," he says and I nod. Luckily we don't have work tomorrow. So we can both just hang out. I end up falling asleep pretty quickly. Nathan has a very calming effect about him.
When I wake up I am in terrible pain. Oh the second day cramps. I get up and go to the bathroom. I get myself situated and head to the kitchen. I take a midol and chug some water.
Nathan comes downstairs. He was working out. He comes over and kisses me. "Hi baby, how are you?" He asks brushing my hair into place.
"My cramps are pretty bad, but I just took some midol," I say and he nods.
"There is a heating pad in drawer in the closet. Lay on the couch and I'll make some breakfast after I shower," he says and I smile. I love this man.
I do as he says and lay on the couch with a heating pad on my stomach. I start drifting to sleep again. Man I am exhausted.
When I wake up Nathan is rubbing my back. I look at the clock and see I slept for another hour. His hair is almost dry and he is in sweats and a T-shirt. He has a plate of eggs, oranges, and bananas.
I smile and kiss him. I pick up some eggs on my fork and eat them. I lay my head on his shoulder and he pats my thigh. "Have you talked to Olivia at all?" He asks.
"No, they are coming tonight," I say and he nods.
"What are you wearing tonight?" He asks me. I honestly don't really know yet.
"I'll figure it out," I say eating my orange. He steals some bananas and I smile.
"What do you have planned today?" I ask him.
"Laying here with you," he says and I smile. I love him so much.
"Mmm can we watch Narcos?" I say. I've wanted to start that show so bad. Nathan takes my empty plate setting it down.
"Of course," he says and I smile. I turn it on and get the heating pad. After he dims the lights and shut the curtains, he sits down getting comfy. I lay my head on his lap and he runs his fingers through my hair.
We begin the show and both instantly become interested. I'm trying so hard to stay awake with Nathan running his fingers through my hair. When he begins to rub my back I drift.
When I wake up I am in our bed. What the? I never sleep through him carrying me to bed. What is going on. I never was this fatigued during my periods in high school.
I still just feel so exhausted. I get up and walk out. Nathan is on the phone. "Yes, just get them comfortable," he says. I listen until he hangs up.
"Did you sleep well?" He asks me.
"Yeah, I don't know why I'm so tired," I say and rub my eyes.
"Your body isn't used to these low hormone levels," he says and I nod. He hugs me and kisses my head.
"Who was on the phone?" I ask.
"The hospital one of my patients is having complications. The surgery is bumped to tomorrow instead of Friday," he says and I nod.
"Do you not want to go tonight?" I ask.
"No of course not. I am excited about it," he says and I smile.
"Thank you, it means the world to my parents," I say and he smiles. He checks his watch.
"Do you want to go hop into the shower?" He says.
"Sure," I say and he smiles kissing me. I head off to shower. I wash my hair and my body. No use in shaving.
When I get out Nathan comes in. I put on my robe. He strips down and gets into the shower. I look at his body through the mirror while I blow dry my hair. I am one lucky woman.
After my hair is dry, I decide to straighten it. I am wearing my black off the shoulder dress. It is tight until my thighs then gradually flows out. I wear more natural makeup. After I put on my diamond earrings and necklaces.
I slip on my dress. The zipper goes too low. I walk into Nathan's closet and find him buttoning his dress shirt. "Need help?" He asks and I nod. I turn and he zips up my dress. I put on my black Prada heels.
I come back out and Nathan is fastening his watch on his wrist. He is in his tux and ready to go. He looks good enough to eat.
"You ready babes?" He asks. I nod smiling and grab his hand. We head over to the venue. There is valet there. Nathan pulls up with Sawyer behind us and we all get out.
When we walk in we each get handed a glass of champagne. Well I'm not pregnant don't mind if I do. I take a hefty sip. Nathan eyes me but I ignore it.
We find my parents. I rush to my dad. These past two days have been so hard. I hug him tightly. It takes everything out of me not to cry as he kisses my head and calls me Bubs.
"You look beautiful, Bubs," he says. I smile and give my mom a hug. My dad doesn't stop watching me. Nathan hugs them both as I finish off my glass of champagne. I grab another off of a tray careful to not let my dad or Nathan see. My mom and Nathan discuss her newest publish as my dad and I talk.
"Are you okay?" My dad asks as I sip my champagne.
"Of course, why?" I ask.
"Because you seem upset," he says and if I wasn't on the verge of tears before. I feel like I'm going to crack.
"I'm fine," I force a smile and thank god Teddy comes around and hugs me from behind.
"Hi guys," I smile hugging him and Olivia. Olivia looks stunning in a rose gold gown. She still is skinny as ever. You would never know she was pregnant.
I feel my dad watching me. I know he is worried now, but I can't talk about why I'm upset. Not here at least. I take another large sip of my champagne. I'm starting to feel the effects of it. That's what I need though.
Ava and Andrew come soon after. I hug Ava tightly. "Woah, Boozy," she says noticing I'm a little tipsy. I don't usually get tipsy this fast.
"Shut up," I laugh.
"You look good, Moore," Andrew says and kisses my cheek.
My grandparents come over and great us all. They are a major part of this fundraiser. My grandma worked at Bellevue children's for many years before she retired.
"You look great, sweetheart," my grandma says kissing my head.
"Thank you Grandma," I smile.
"Hi grandpa," I say hugging my dad's dad.
"Hi Phoebe girl," he says hugging me. We stand talking to my grandpa before dinner is announced.
Nathan comes around and rests his arm around me. We get guided to a table for dinner. Luckily, I'm between Nathan and Olivia. My dad is across from me.
"How has work been?" I ask my dad.
"It has been going very well, how has your work been?" My dad asks. Oh my work. It's amazing. Little Henry comes to my mind.
"It has been great," I say and he smiles.
"Did you hear grandma got nominated for the Bellevue Children's award?" He asks.
"Wow no way," I say. That is one of the biggest awards you can win.
"Good for her," I smile. The dinner plates are put down. Chicken and some fancy other stuff. I cut into my food eating it. Another glass of champagne is set down in front of me.
Nathan's phone begins to ring and I see it's the hospital. He excuses himself. I turn to Olivia.
"How have you been feeling?" I ask her.
"Horrible, this morning sickness is kicking my ass," she says. I nod and pat her hand.
"It'll all be worth it soon," I say and she smiles.
Nathan comes back and asks if he can talk to me. I excuse myself and walk out to the lobby area. Whew I am really feeling the effects of this alcohol.
"I have to go to the hospital. One of my patients needs emergency surgery," he says and I nod.
"Okay, go. Everyone will understand," I say. We kiss and he heads out.
I come back to the table taking a generous sip of champagne. "Nathan got called to go into the hospital," I say and everyone nods.
"We can give you a ride home," My dad offers. I thank him. I finish my third glass of champagne. The waiters refill it.
They go through the ceremony and it takes a minute. There is so much being auctioned off. Nathan and I donated in the front. My mom and dad win a trip to The Maldives. I smile and keep sipping my champagne. I am drunk now.
Everyone gets up to dance. I stumble a little bit and andrew grabs me. "Woah Moore," he says. He looks at me in the eyes.
"Jesus Phoebe," he says. He takes my champagne flute away.
"No," I say.
"Phoebe, you are obviously drunk," he says. Ava comes over and looks at me.
"I'm fine," I say and pull away. As I am going to the bathroom I stumble and grab onto a chair. Why did I get drunk so easily.
When I get to the bathroom I pee. I sit there for a second. I stand back up and head to the sinks. As I am washing my hands a pregnant lady walks out. I smile at her.
"Whew," she says and holds her stomach.
"Are you okay?" I ask. I am holding back tears. I wish that was me.
"He's just kicking up a storm. He thinks my ribs are a soccer ball," she says and I laugh.
"When are you due?" I ask her.
"Next month," she says and I smile.
"Congratulations," I say and she thanks me. When I walk out I step around the side and break down. I squat down and hold my head in my hands. I don't know why I am so upset. My doctor just put in my head that we could be. Nathan was so excited.
All of a sudden I start to throw up. I really shouldn't have drank so much. I look around making sure no one can see me on my knees throwing up. When I am done I wipe my mouth off.
I try to stand up but fall. Stupid heels. "Phoebe?" I hear Taylor's voice. Shit shit shit.
"Hi," I say. He comes quickly and helps me up.
"Phoebe, how much have you had to drink?" Usually if someone asked me that I'd be pissed, but Taylor is like family.
"Some champagne," I say and stumble.
"We need to get you home," he says. I'm not complaining. Taylor passes me off to Sawyer who puts me in a car.
"Pheebs, what's going on?" Sawyer asks. I just shake my head staring out the window.
The car door opens up and my dad gets in. Shit I'm toast. "Phoebe Grace, look at me," he says as Sawyer starts driving. Is my mom not coming? I do as he says and he shakes his head.
"Phoebe, these events are not a free booze night," he says and I nod. He continues to yell, but I block it out and stare out the window. I think about teddy being a dad. Then Nathan being a dad.
"Are you listening to me?" He Says sternly. I turn and nod staring at him.
We pull up to Escala. "Sawyer stay here," my dad says. Shit he's coming up? I just want to be alone.
"I'm fine," I say and stumble.
"Clearly you aren't," my dad says and wraps his arm around me taking me upstairs. When we walk in my dad takes me to the kitchen. He places a water bottle in front of me.
"Drink," he says. I do as he says. I just want to cry. I'm disappointing everyone around me.
"I'm sorry," I say and my dad shakes his head.
"I'm going to change," I say.
"Do you need help?" My dad asks and I shake my head. I put on Nathan's sweats and a T-shirt. I put my hair up in a ponytail. When I look at myself in the mirror I just break down.
I try to wipe my tears away so my dad won't be worried. When I am pleased with how I look I walk out.
When he looks up and sees me, he frowns. "Bubs," he says. He rushes over and cups my face. Tears begin to flow and there's nothing I can do to stop them.
"I didn't mean to yell at you, Bubs," he says and hugs me. I just hug him tightly.
"It's not you," I say. I don't want him to think he caused this.
"Come here," he says. We sit on the couch and he wraps a blanket around me.
"Talk to me, you've been off all night," he says.
"I'm fine," I say. I just can't worry him with this.
"Bubs, you aren't and it's okay. Talk to me so we can figure this out," he says.
"I thought I was pregnant," I say. My dad stares at me.
"Are you?" He asks. I shake my head no. He waits for me to continue.
"I wanted to be so bad. Nathan and I have been together for so long and we are at the perfect stage to become pregnant," I say. I wipe tears that fall.
"Baby, you and Nathan have so much time," he says.
"I know, it's just everyone around me is getting pregnant and," I shrug and take a deep breath wiping my tears. My dad just hugs me. I think he knows there is nothing he can say to fix this one.
"I wish I could take this pain from you," he says and I nod. I know he does.
"Do you want me to stay?" He asks.
"Could you?" I ask. I don't want to be alone. He wraps his arms around me. I lay my head on his chest. He kisses my head and turns on the TV. He looks next to me and sees the picture frame I have. It's one of my favorite pictures. I am almost 5 in the picture. It was at Teddy's birthday party. My dad and I both have our faces painted in the picture.
"I remember that day," he says. I smile and laugh at the picture.
(Flashback Christian's POV)
Today is Teddy's 7th birthday party. It is baseball themed. We are having it in our backyard. We have a hitting range, a baseball diamond, blow up house and more. Ana goes all out of the kids birthdays.
This morning I am in charge of getting Teddy ready. He showered last night so all I have to do is put him in his jersey. His birthday is in two days, but we are having it today.
"How does it feel to be almost 7?" I ask Teddy as I button his jersey.
"I feel like a man," Teddy says and shows me his pretend muscles. I can't help but laugh. He is such a ham.
"A man?" I say.
"Yeah like you," he says and I laugh.
"Well you are a little older now, huh?" I say.
"Yes 6 and 363 days old," he says. He is also smart as a whip.
"Are you excited for today?" I ask him as I take his wild hair with a mariners hat.
"I'm so excited Lincoln, Matthew, Thomas, Daniel, Drew, Tate, Reed, oh and Hudson," he says and starts naming all 25 kids and their siblings coming.
"Everyone is coming to celebrate you, Bear," I say.
"Well Dad it's my birthday," he says and I laugh.
"Let's go downstairs people will be here any minute," I say to him.
"Okay, Grandpa Ray and Grandpa Carrick will be here too right?" He asks. He's asked this question about 45 times. His grandpas are his favorite. They fish and talk about baseball all day with him.
"Of course, Buddy," I say and he runs off. He sprints down the stairs and I remind him to be careful as always. My daredevil.
When I walk by Phoebe's room I decide to stop and listen to her and Ana talk. My two favorite girls. "And then when I was with Ms. Gail, we said that we should color it pink," Phoebe tells Ana. I know she is talking about the picture she hung on the fridge because I got the same talk last night.
"You did? Well why not purple or blue?" Ana asks her.
"Because pink is my favorite silly goose," Phoebe tells Ana and I laugh.
"Okay let's get you dressed," Ana says.
"Do I have to wear this one," Phoebe says. Oh this girl.
"Phoebe, you picked this one remember?" Ana asks her. It is a pink romper. She was so excited about it.
"Oh yeah, I forgot," Phoebe laughs. I hear the doorbell ring.
"Shoot," I hear Ana say. I step in and switch with her so Ana can go change and then greet people. I take over with Phoebe.
"Look daddy I'm captain underpants," Phoebe says. She is standing in her underwear waiting for me to help her. I shake my head laughing.
"Come here nakey girl," I say and help her step into her jumper and pull it up. We pair Phoebe's outfit with her absolute favorite rainbow shoes. They actually are pretty cute. Ana has a bow laying out so I clip it into one of Phoebe's pig tails.
"All ready," I say and we stand in front of the mirror together.
"Daddy, I don't want to nap today," she says.
"Remember how we said you don't have to nap because it's Teddy's party?" I ask her.
"Oh," she says her mouth forming a perfect O. She is such a beautiful little girl.
"Come on, let's go downstairs people are waiting," I say and pick her up. She wraps her arms around my neck.
When we get downstairs Phoebe sees Ava and runs off. Not before giving me a big kiss. I head into the kitchen and grab a beer with Elliot.
We sit and talk about the mariners and watch the party go on. I look at Ana at one point and have to look away. She is so damn sexy. She has on a white jumpsuit. She looks flawless.
We do cake early on so the kids have all the time to play. Everyone crowds around the table. All the kids are basically breathing on the cake. I take pictures and smile as everyone sings. Teddy makes a wish and the cake is served.
I help serve it to the kids. They all sit and make huge messes eating the cake with blue frosting. I see Phoebe eating with Ava. I walk over and sit with them. They have one other little girl there.
"Hi Bubs, hi sunshine," I say to Phoebe and Ava. "What's your name?" I ask the little girl.
"Tenley," she says quietly. Oh I know she is Tate's little sister. They are a good family.
"Nice to meet you, Tenley," I say and she smiles at me.
"How is the cake, Bubs?" I ask Phoebe.
"It's so yummy," she says and spoons another piece into her mouth.
"Can I have another piece?" She asks. She has already snuck so much candy if she has another piece she'll get sick.
"How about we stick to one piece for today," I say and she pouts. I dip my finger in frosting and bop her nose. She pulls back.
"Daddy," she laughs. Tenley and Ava laugh too.
"No more pouting," I say and kiss her head walking back over to the adults. I sit back with my dad and Elliot. I see Phoebe and Ava go to the face painting station. Oh boy.
We sit for awhile watching the kids. Teddy is having the time of his life. I think this is 7th heaven for him. All the kids are fighting to be near him.
They play rounds and rounds of baseball. Teddy is actually quite the little pitcher. Dad bias aside. Everyone is taking pictures and having fun. Elliot gets up to grab another beer.
"Hey man, Phoebe's inside with Gail crying," he says and before he can tell me why I run inside. Low and behold my girl is on the counter hugging Gail crying. She has her face painted like a Bee.
"Bubs, what's wrong?" I ask her. She reaches to me and I pull her in hugging her tightly. Luckily I'm wearing a black shirt so if face paint does get in me it won't show.
Phoebe keeps crying in my chest. I look to Gail and she whispers that a little boy made fun of Phoebe's face paint and called it stupid. My heart breaks for her. I want to kill the idiot boy that did this. I excuse Gail and pick up Phoebe. I take her to my office. People are still coming in and out of the house.
"Bubs, calm down baby," I say holding her and rubbing her back.
"I want it off," she says and I know she is talking about her face paint. This is a time for a good life lesson. Just because someone says something negative about you doesn't mean you change yourself.
"Shhh Bubs," I say and set her down on the couch in front of me. I grab a bottle of water and have her drink some.
"I think your face paint looks amazing," I tell her.
"But but but Linc said it was stupid," she cries. I take her hands in mine. Of course it was a Smith boy. His parents are the worst.
"Honey, linc doesn't know what he is talking about," I say.
"I I got a Bee b b because my name is Ph Phoebe and it has Bee in it," she explains crying. Oh my heart breaks for her.
"That is so smart, Bubs," I say.
"I think it looks great," I say.
"I want it off," she says.
"Bubs, do you like the way it looks?" I ask her.
"Yeah," she says sadly. I wipe a tear away.
"Well then that is all that matters," I say.
"But Linc said that it was stupid and stupid is a mean word," she says. "It hurts my feelings," she says and I nod.
"You are doing such a good job using your words, Bubs," I say encouraging her to keep doing that.
"Phoebe, sometimes people don't like the things we do, just like you love eating green beans and Teddy hates them. It is not okay that Linc called your face paint stupid. But you did the right thing by coming in here and telling me," I say.
"Teddy called green beans disgusting," Phoebe says.
"And you still eat them right?" I ask her.
"Yeah remember we had them for dinner last night," she says.
"So why would you wash off your face paint because Linc said he didn't like it," I ask her. She realizes what I am saying and looks at me.
"I don't want to wash it off," she says and I nod smiling.
"That's my girl," I say. I hug her tightly.
"I love you daddy," She says.
"I love you most, Bubs," I pick her up and we head outside. When we get near the door she stops me.
"I don't want Linc to make fun of me again," she says and suddenly I get an idea.
"Bubs, come with me," I say. I walk over to the face paint station and sit down with her on my lap.
"I'd like to get a.. Hmm Bubs what do you think?" We look at the menu.
"A tiger," Phoebe says and I nod. A tiger it is.
I get my face painted and as I am getting it done more and more kids come up. Including Linc. When it's done I growl and all the kids laugh.
"I want my face painted," Teddy says. All the other kids start to agree. Phoebe smiles as I set her down. She hugs my leg real tight. I bend down to her.
"You're the best and coolest daddy ever," she says and I smile kissing her head.
"Go have fun, daddy's watching," I say and she runs off. When I go back on the porch Ana is smiling.
"I heard what happened, you are one of a kind, Christian Grey," Ana says and smiles. I hug her.
I'd do anything for my kids.
(End flashback)
"You were the best," I say to my dad. He smiles looking at the picture.
"No I wasn't, I just loved you kids fiercely," he says. I nod and tears come to my eyes again.
"I can't wait for you to be a grandpa. Those kids are going to love you," I say. My dad kisses my head holding me.
"It's so hard, Bubs. I wish I could take this from you," he says. I turn my head into his chest and start crying.
When the front door opens I know it's Nathan. I try to fix myself and make myself less of a mess. When Nathan comes in and sees he rushes over.
"What's going on?" Nathan asks sitting next to me and hugging me. He is in his scrubs.
"Nothing, I just told my dad about not being pregnant," I say and start to cry. "And I had too much to drink at the ball," I say. My dad rubs my leg.
"Phoebe, do you need me to get you anything?" My dad asks and I shake my head.
"I'll walk you out," I say and we walk to the door together.
"I love you most, Bubs," he says and we hug. I cry holding him tightly.
"Thank you, dad," I say.
"I'm here, always. Anytime any day," he says and I nod.
"I know," I say and he kisses my head.
"Take care of my girl, Nathan," my dad says as they shake hands. When my dad leaves Nathan pulls me into his chest.
"Let it out, baby. I'm right here," he says and holds me.
This is so hard.