A/N: Sorry for such a long wait since the last chapter, and sorry this one is so short. Life has been a lot lately. But I hope you enjoy this little glimpse into Kurt's thoughts.
His marriage is not over. It's not. They're not getting a divorce, they both agreed they don't want a divorce, it's not over.
… But, they are separated.
The marriage might not be over, but something is.
As pissed off as he is, Sebastian might have some kind of point.
It doesn't have to mean anything.
That whole concept is just so – foreign, to him. Sex has always meant something for him. Always.
It can't not mean something.
… Can it?
Maybe that's what he needs. He's been trying to make things work with Blaine, and he doesn't think there's anything he's ever failed at quite as spectacularly. It clearly hasn't been working. But being with Sebastian– that worked. That felt right, somehow. Or at least, it felt different. And maybe there's something to be learned there. Is that what it is about Sebastian; that it doesn't mean anything? That he can be with Sebastian without all the pressure? It's freeing, and it feels good, and he wants that. And maybe he doesn't deserve Blaine, at least not right now, but he still deserves something, right? He deserves to have something that lets him let go; after everything he's been through, shouldn't he let himself have this?
Kurt rolls onto his back, stares up at the dark ceiling. He's got to do something different. And Blaine might not love this if he knew, but– it's not like he can make things any worse than they already are, right? And Sebastian has been good for him; Sebastian's made him feel in a way that he hasn't in a long time, even Blaine had seen that.
He might not deserve Blaine, but maybe he deserves Sebastian.
Maybe this is what Kurt needs.
Maybe it doesn't have to mean anything.