Chapter 2: Hey, Hey, Hey! Whatcha got to say?
The smoke stained wooden panels atop the existing narrow walls of the hallway made Blitz feel at home in a place he did not belong, nevermind the previous besmirching of Leroy the Caterpillar Dick. The imp followed close behind this new and suspiciously friendly stranger, who Blitz was satisfied to know had regular white hair. He shook his head and realized how absurd of a thought that was, and carried on silently as the two followed the hallways detached from the origin point of Blitz's royal display of confidence. He kept his eyes on the opposite side of the wall.
"There's a door up here on the right." Styx said. "It's behind the stage. Not much room but I'll be up there with you."
"You'll be up there?" Blitz asked, confused.
Styx nodded, providing a teasing smile. "Figured I could fill the awkward silence with some acoustic."
"Go fuck yourself." Blitz deadpanned, causing the duo to stop short of the door. "I could make the fucking pope keel over onto his favorite priest's crotch with my material."
Styx took a step back. "Sorry, sorry, just trying to lighten the mood a bit. I'm sure you'll do fine."
Blitz gave a dissatisfied grunt before passing the stranger without another word. The pathway to the other side of the stage layed before him, and the warm lights of the cold crowd who had just heckled him. Rightfully so, even if he did not truly believe that. Styx remained to the side of him, unzipping his bag to reveal an old acoustic guitar. The outside was beaten but obviously well taken care of - The shiny body and oiled fretboard gave it a glisten that pulled you in like a moth to a lamp, something that caught Blitz's eye even if he did not understand the reasoning behind his gaze.
"Where's my room?" Blitz asked.
"You're kidding, right?" Styx huffed. "The only room back here is storage. I practice back here and so do you."
"Practice for a bunch of sinners with green hair and pronouns." The imp retorted.
Styx raised an eyebrow. "Do we not have pronouns?"
"Yeah, so we can make fun of each other properly."
Styx smiled. "You're an asshole. I like you."
The crowd from the outside began to chant, and it did not sound as if it was coming out of good intentions. The words within were downright malicious, and seemed to be from a place of genuine hatred. "It's only fair these cucks get to return the favor, I guess." Blitz thought, and began to hesitantly cycle through which routines he would look the best at doing before they started throwing glasses and questionable toys too close to his face.
The imp suddenly remembered what the stranger had just said to him, and the words bounced around in his mind like a DVD screen saver: "I like you." He did not know how to feel about them, but he wanted to hear them again.
"Where the FUCK is this BITCH?!" A sinner cried out among the rest. Blitz recognized them as the snarling admirer from before. The heckling drove him to anger once again, hands curling into fists.
"Don't worry about her." Styx assured him, noticing his mood change. "That's Gresha. She's great when you get to know her... once you get past all the shouting."
"Sounds like a great gal!" Blitz smiled falsely. "Got anything to keep her quiet, preferably a muzzle?"
Styx wrapped the guitar around their person, brushing hair out of their eyes. "I'll do you one better: She won't boo you if I'm up there, and if she won't do it, she'll tell everyone to be quiet."
"This happens regularly enough to have a fuckin plan?"
"Eh, I love these folks but… they are alcoholics."
Blitz scoffed, remembering the disappointment brought by his unfinished drink.
"You need some time to get your stuff ready?" Styx asked. "I'm gonna get this thing in tune while you start."
The imp sighed, nodded, and Styx came onto the stage to the response of loud and boisterous celebrations from a rowdy crowd. Gresha was easily the loudest and devolved from cheering to feral screeching similar to that of a desperate house cat yearning for attention. Blitz placed a hand against the wall and closed his eyes as he felt his legs refuse to go forwards, no matter how hard he pushed them in his mind. They almost trembled from the stress, and he grit his teeth at his shame before the menagerie of drunks died down to the sounds of strings and their tones rising and lowering to the turns by its user. Finally, with another contemptuous sigh, Blitz found the ability to step forwards into the light, and immediately regretted it.
The garish noises of said drunks reached highs only achievable by birds. Their nonsensical chirping drove Blitz to the point of unparalleled rage, but the current situation was either suffering through to the other side or being tossed back outside himself. Leroy was glaring daggers towards him behind the bar, arms crossed in already disappointed expectations. The Horse's Neck sat unfinished.
"EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!" Gresha boomed, causing the uncomfortable silence to return almost instantly. "We won't be able to hear River if you cucks don't stop jerking all the room with your shit!"
"Just heckle the imp in between songs!" Leroy tossed into the discussion, and the entire bar laughed, with a smile from Gresha as she sat directly in front of Styx.
The tuning was done. Styx took his place sitting on the edge of the stage to Blitz, who did the same and received a physical response through the mild retreat of those near him, much to his already flaming temper.
"Yo, River, why the fuck is this thing on stage?!" One sinner shouted.
"Yeah!" Said another. "We're not here to listen to him talk about hair."
Another fit of laughter erupted from the crowd. Styx glanced at the imp, confused, but shook their head and accepted the situation.
"Why not?" Styx said, beginning to play a simple melody. Their fingers politely plucked as the other hand repeated the same pattern. "Maybe he's got more to say."
"I doubt it's anything useful." Gresha said surprisingly calmly. "The fertile little shit isn't even brave enough to tell us his name."
"Fuck you, green hair and pronouns." Blitz said sternly, head tilted downward as he repeated the belittling title.
"His name is Blitz." Styx smiled, albeit with a tinge of irritability. "The O is silent."
"What in Eastwood's Cigar is a silent O?" Leroy asked.
"What is the Seven Horny Sins is a fuckin Eastwood?" Blitz responded. Leroy gave a grunt in response.
"Hey, come on you two." Styx said as they held off playing to break up the emotional divorce. An awkward silence followed and they returned to playing a calmer melody to ease the knives at everyone's neck.
"What's your fucking joke, Silent O?" Asked a sinner in the back.
"Yeah, give us something messed up!" Gresha boomed.
"What, messed up like your inside voice? Fine, here's one I save to blow people's asses off."
Aside from a final scroff from Gresha, the crowd went silent, only accompanied by the duo on stage.
"You hear about blind kid who got in a car accident?" Blitz began.
"I didn't." Styx said. "What about him?"
"Well, he didn't see it coming."
Gresha fell into an uproar of laughter, heaving to the point of concern and appearing to suffer her second death. She was fine, however, and was soon followed by halfhearted chuckles from other patrons. Even Styx began to giggle uncontrollably at the absurdity.
Blitz felt strange. These weren't people like him, nor did they like him. Fifteen minutes ago he was getting his ass pounded out of the only wooden hole in town, and now he was on stage, providing jokes, and… the audience was laughing? Maybe not with him but at least at him.
The imp smiled and leaned back with one arm outstretched behind him for support. "Of course, after they found out he was blind, they asked him after if he heard anything. He said he didn't, but he read the crash with his hands and it said his parents were dead."
Styx audibly failed to contain his laughter and ended up sounding like a broken chainsaw stuck in the bones of a pigeon. The crowd began to unleash a symphony of howls, cackles, and maniacal chuckles. A wave of elation made it's way through Blitz, and he found himself with a smug grin, quietly amused at himself turning around such a lost cause of an audience.
For what seemed like hours, but in reality was around fourty five minutes, the duo on stage swapped between telling jokes and providing the crowd with music as a deterrent for their lack of self restraint. Gresha had forgotten all about the previous altercations and fully immersed herself into every joke. Even Caterpillar Dick seemed to be taking a relaxed stance near the side of the bar rather than shoving themselves behind the drink dispensers in suspicion.
"Alrighty." Leroy said finally. "I think you two have earned your keep for tonight. Come on down. Everyone, if you can't go anywhere else, keep to yourself for the night. If you got somewhere else to be, have a good night."
The two on stage departed from the back once again. They headed towards Leroy, who had already taken the liberty of refilling Blitz's drink and providing Styx with a soda pop.
"Not a fan of the poison after a day's work, eh?" Blitz asked, taking his seat back and slowly allowing the ice cold alcohol to soothe his nerves caused by the unique events unfolding this night. He let out a sigh, this time out of relief.
"Not a fan of losing self control." Styx answered with a seat near his new imp accomplice. The cold soda washed away the sinner's worries of the night. "You never know what someone can do to you."
"Make you have a great night away from your bitch of a wife." Blitz joked.
"Amen to that." Leroy said. "But I respect that, River. A lot of us use it to numb the pain of having to stay stuck down here. If you got something else that keeps you going, you gotta hold onto that and tie a rope around it so it don't get gone."
"Also a good reason to drink and forget your wife." Blitz's added. "Fun Daddy rope time."
"Do you have wife issues or something?" Styx asked with genuine concern.
"Nah, just enjoy berating the status quo without being actually involved in the shit I'm passionate about making fun of."
"I guess that's why you're just so full of hate." Leroy added.
Blitz was taken aback, choosing to scoff and sink into his own arm while passing another swig of alcohol; Something Styx repeated with their own drink.
"You did a good job out there, though." The bartender continued. "Perhaps it's was destiny that brought you two together here tonight."
The titular duo looked at each other, the imp in exhaustion and the singer excited. Styx suddenly turned away, seemingly embarrassed with blood rushing to their face. Blitz responded similarly, and Leroy really wanted it to stop.
"Right, well." Leroy coughed. "I'm gonna get ready and close down the bar close to midnight."
He suddenly turned to the imp creating the almost literal thorn in his side. "Silent O, you're more than welcome to stay the night with the rest."
Blitz's turned to the others. Gresha was making a spot near the stage, smiling, seemingly from the long night of entertainment. "You do this every night after Krampus?" He asked to Leroy.
The bartender nodded. "Lotta these sinners either get kicked out by family after being disappointed that they're not dead or don't even have a door to their name."
"Wouldn't it make more sense to have it on Krampus Eve?"
"I had to stop doing it on Krampus Eve or the day of."
"Why's that?" Blitz asked.
"Nobody showed up." Leroy said.
"Ah… that fuckin sucks."
"Indeed it does, Silent O. Indeed it does."
"I'll keep that in mind." The imp turned. "Hey, River Dicks, where you-"
Styx was gone. Blitz eyes widened, feeling betrayed like a cat pushed off the bed. "Hey, Leonardo, was I imagining some awkward twink or where the fuck did that acoustic pimp go?"
Leroy chuckled. "He tends to do that. I swear he's always got part of his mind somewhere over yonder. You'll likely find him wherever Glam is."
"Glam?" Blitz asked.
"The 'acoustic pimp''s six string. The one I saw you giving the loving side eye to, or was that actually for the one playing it?"
Leroy let out a boastful laugh as Blitz frowned haggardly and took the drink with him, something the bartender was to busy pleasing his hubris to notice. The imp made a fast walk towards the end of the stage and found his new performing partner leaned against the wall with a rag, gently cleaning what Blitz now knew as Glam.
"Sounds like a horse." Blitz said.
Styx looked up, his face stagnant. "Fuckin what?"
"Glam. Sounds like a horse."
"Well, fuck you, too."
"Who the Cinnamon Toasted fuck are you to assume the greatest animal to ever exist is an insult?"
"Hah! My bad, most people don't like horses that much… but… thanks. Horses are pretty cool."
"Pretty cool?" Blitz asked rhetorically, taking a seat next to Styx as the latter continued to admire their guitar. "Rich Dicks, an equine is the perfect fucking form. You can do anything as a horse, but most importantly, you can get away with anything."
Styx pondered the statement of the maniacally entranced imp. He had a strong urge to pet a horse. "Huh, I guess that's true."
"You can fuck. ANYTHING. And who's gonna say no? You're a goddamn pony!"
"That's not a horse."
"It's a tiny horse and I fuckin say it is so fuck you."
"Sure." Styx said as they began to unfold and unroll an extra sleeping bag. "Hey, do you know anything about what Leroy said?"
Blitz instinctually began to approach the sleeping bag. "Other than that I'm good at nothing, not really."
"He just says that."
"He's literally fuckin racist, Dip Styx."
"No, he's just old and insults everyone. Hell, I got made fun of for a whole week when I first got here."
"Yeah?" Blitz asked.
"Yeah." Styx said. "But whatever, did you hear what Catepi-… Leroy said?"
The imp raised an eyebrow, arms now resting behind their head in the sleeping bag. "About what?"
"About nobody showing up for a few years. Sounds fucked, doesn't it? I guess the purge doesn't help anything either."
"What, you two have an annual movie night or something?" Blitz asked.
Styx was stunned. "The actual shit are you on about? No, the yearly event where the boogeymen come down and kill us… again."
"Oh, yeah, that. Ah, I always just get drunk enough that I just sleep through it. Most of the time."
"What changed this year?" Styx asked.
Blitz sighed. "Just got a little lost. Easier to board up with some strangers and the sinner form of a grumpy old cowboy hat."
Styx laughed in their own sleeping bag, causing the imp near them to smile.
"Yeah, it's just… been a year, I guess." Blitz said quietly. "A great ass-fucking year of yelling and running and having sex just to not get killed to death."
Styx shook their head, their eyes locked on the imp in shock. "Aw, shit. That's horrible. Hey, at least now you're just surrounded by people and another guitarist after a fun night of telling jokes and getting free drinks, right? That's gotta count for something."
Blitz smiled as he shut his eyes. "Eh, sucks to be me, right?"
"Sure does, Blitz." Styx said, returning one last smile before turning to their side. "It sure does."