Chapter 33
Phoebe's POV
Nathan and I are on our way to the hospital. Baby Jenkin's is late. She was supposed to be born in Late August/Early September. It is now mid September. Poor Maisy was about to be induced but wanted to wait just a little longer. Looks like her waiting paid off.
Nathan and I did not get to go home. We left straight from work once we got the call. Nathan has his hand on my thigh and my hand is resting over his. The timing of this is almost comical.
"Bee," Nathan says and I look over at him at the red light.
"Yeah?" I ask.
"Are you okay?" He asks and I stop to think about that.
"I am, are you?" I ask.
"Well the timing is… rough," he says and I smile. I smile a real smile until I start laughing. Nathan looks over at me like I have 3 heads.
"The timing sucks," I say laughing. Nathan joins in. At this point I think both of us have cried and mourned so much that we have nothing left. It feels good to laugh.
We pull up to the hospital and walk in. I shrug off my work jacket as we get checked in and are heading up to see Maisy. I can't believe she will be a mom today. Nathan kisses my head in the elevator.
"We're going to be godparents," I say and he smiles.
"That we are, my girl," he says and we walk down the hall to Maisy's room.
"Oh thank god you are here," Maisy says right when we walk in. To no one's surprise Maisy's hair is curled and she looks ready to go to dinner.
"Hi Girl," I smile and hug her.
"How are you feeling?" I ask. Nathan and Blake are talking.
"I got an epidural and I went from excruciating pain to on cloud 9," she says and I smile. I grip her hand.
"Are you ready to meet OJ?" I ask and she nods.
"We changed her middle name," she says. "It's Mae now instead of Rose," she says and I smile.
"Oakley Mae, I love it," I say and she smiles rubbing her belly.
"I'm almost to push time, this girl is stubborn and loves being in my belly," she says and I laugh.
"You're doing great mama," I say and she smiles.
"Thank you for being here, Pheebs. It means a lot," she says and pats my hand.
"I wouldn't miss the birth of my goddaughter for anything," I say.
We wait around watching the TV. Maisy is a champ. The nurse comes in and checks her at around 9 pm. "I think you're good to go. I'll call Dr. Wagner," the nurse says.
"Oh my, it's happening," Maisy says. Blake leans down and kisses her. I take a couple of pictures of them.
"Nathan and I will be in the waiting room. We will be here right when you call us," I say and she nods.
"I love you, Phoebe," she says and I hug her. I hug Blake too. Nathan bro hugs Blake and hugs Maisy.
I close the door and look at Nathan. He smiles and wraps me in his arms. This is hard. It's hard to forget that this could have been us in 8 months.
"Let's go get some food," he says.
"Mmmm hospital food," I say and he laughs.
We head downstairs to the cafe. I get grilled cheese and Nathan gets a burger. We sit down next to each other. "We haven't really talked about where we go from here," he says.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"Well do you want to try again this month?" Nathan asks. I stop and think about that. Do I? I don't think I am ready.
"I just… I don't think I could take another heartbreak like this," I say and Nathan grabs my hand squeezing it.
"I know, baby," he says.
"Why don't we take a break from trying. Just for the time being," he says.
"I think we could still you know do the deed, but not actively try like clock work," I say and Nathan laughs.
"What did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with you," he says. "You're my favorite person to do the deed with," he says.
"The only," I correct him.
"The only," he smiles and kisses my head.
"Nate," I say and Nathan looks at me. I don't know how he's going to react to this. I just can't go without asking him anymore after today.
"Bee," he says.
"Today I went and saw Henry," I say and Nathan nods.
"And I was thinking," I say. "Maybe well since we already fostered and you know Henry needs a place after his surgery and recovery. Maybe we could offer to foster him," I say. I look at Nathan and he is looking at me. I try to read his face.
"Bee," he starts. "After last week, do you think it's the right time? Henry will be out of the hospital in 2 weeks" he says.
"I can't say goodbye to him again. I don't know what it is and I usually don't get this way. I just have this connection to him. I know he belongs with us," I say.
"Bee, what if he gets adopted and placed from our home," he asks.
"I'd be happy," I say and Nathan raises an eyebrow.
"Okay, but that's the same with Claire. Nathan, we have a home. We have a loving home that we could provide this 2 year old. Why wouldn't we?" I ask. Nathan looks at me and smiles.
"Bee, it's not that I don't think we should do it. I'm just worried about the effect it'll have on you," he says and I nod.
"I want to do this," I say and Nathan smiles.
"Well let's talk to Lia on Monday," he says and I smile.
"Really?" I ask and he nods.
"I mean it," he smiles and my heart could burst. I am so happy. I lean over kissing him. Really kissing him.
"Woah there," he says and I smile realizing we're in a public space.
We sit in the waiting area for two hours longer. All of a sudden my phone rings. It is Maisy. "Come meet your godchild," she says and I smile looking at Nathan.
We happily head back upstairs. When we walk into her recovery room I smile. She is holding a pink swaddled bundle. I look to Nathan and smile.
"How are you?" I ask her. She has her hair up now but still looks great as ever.
"That is my first and last time giving birth," she says and I laugh. Blake shows us his torn ups hand from her nails. I look down at the baby she is holding.
"Well take her," she says. I smile and reach down picking up the swaddled bundle.
"Hi little love, I'm your Aunt Bee," I say. She is the most precious little baby. She has big blue eyes and a little button nose. She has Maisy's nose.
"Hi Oakley," I say.
"She is so precious Mase," I say and Maisy nods.
"That she is," she says.
"Baby Hogger pass her over," Nathan says and I laugh. I gently pass her to Nathan who cradles her in his arms.
The sight in front of me although it hurts is one that makes my heart swell. I take a bunch of pictures. Then Maisy takes some of both of us with Oakley. I get some with Maisy and the baby and Nathan and Blake get one too.
"Well Mama we will get out of your hair. Call me if you need anything okay?" I say.
"Of course, thank you for being here," she says and we hug.
After many goodbyes Nathan and I head to the car. Our drive home is quiet. "She is such a precious baby," I say and Nathan nods.
"She is," he says.
When we get home I slide off my shoes. "I am exhausted," I say. We head into our bedroom and get changed. I put on one of Nathan's shirts and a pair of his boxers. I walk in and see him in the same thing.
"Look we are twins," I say and Nathan starts laughing.
"Come here," he says and we crawl into bed. I rest my head in the crook of his arm. He smells like home and it is so comforting. He runs his hands through my hair and I am at peace.
"Bee," Nathan says as I am drifting to sleep.
"Hm?" I ask.
"I love you. More than anything," he says and I smile at his reminder.
"I love you too," I say and he kisses my head. Soon I hear him fall asleep. I close my eyes and follow his lead.
(Monday)
Nathan and I are on our way to work. Tonight we are having dinner with Claire and today we are talking to Lia about Henry. We are going on early to talk to her. I am a bit nervous. What if she says no?
When we walk in Nathan puts his hand on my back. Neither of us say anything the entire elevator ride. I think we are both nervous. Nathan kisses my head and we head into her office.
"Hi Moore's," she says sweetly.
"Hi Lia," I smile.
"What can I do for you?" She asks and I look to Nathan.
"We are here about Henry," I say and Lia nods. She goes into her desk drawer and pulls out a file I presume to be his.
"We are both on his case, and have been with him for almost a year," Nathan says.
"We know the struggles he has gone through and both formed a bond with him. Since he does not have a foster home we were here to see if there's any way we could foster him. After his surgery," I say and Lia nods looking back and forth at Nathan and me.
"Well," she says and puts on her glasses reading his file.
"We know there is a lack of foster parents who can take him. Especially now with his medical history and the care he'll need," she says.
"I don't see a problem with it, I'll have to go through the state and child protective services obviously. But my only thing is, you both work full time. With Claire she is a teenager who can stay home on her own, this is different," she says. Nathan and I talked about this all day Sunday.
I'd start working part time and he would still work full time. We would hire an in house professional for the rest of the time. Someone amazing with years of experience. We explain this to Lia and she nods.
"Well like I said, we need foster parents for him. I still have to talk to the higher ups, but I'll have an answer for you by tomorrow. You'd take him after his surgery?" She asks.
"Yes, and we can have him for however long it takes to find eligible parents," Nathan says emphasizing the word eligible. Lia nods and writes something down.
"I think this could be a great fit for him. Everytime I walk into his room I get "bee bee play?" She says and I laugh.
"Phoebe Play," I smile and Lia nods.
"Moore's you are great people, I don't see why this wouldn't work out. Stop by my office tomorrow after your shifts," she says and we thank her. We all shake hands and walk out of the office.
I smile and turn to Nathan as the doors close. He has a smile as big as mine. I wrap my arms around him tightly and he hugs me back. Tears fill in my eyes. Everything is going to be okay.
"I love you," I say and he looks at me.
"I love you more," he says.
"Will you walk me to my office?" I ask. Nathan looks at me and then nods. He is so fucking hot. In his scrubs it makes him even hotter. The way the top hits against his strong arms.
We walked into my office and I shut the door. "What's wrong baby?" He asks and I silence him by pulling his head down to meet mine and kissing him. He grips my neck and my back pulling me to him.
"Baby," he says and I smirk dropping to my knees in front of him. I don't know what's gotten into me, but I just want to please him. He's against the door and I hear him lock it.
"Fuck," he says as I rip his pants and boxers down. I take him into my hand and start doing long strokes.
I take him into my mouth and look up at him. His eyes are locked on me. His hands find the back of his head and he grips my pony tail.
"Fuck Bee," he says and I blink innocently as I keep sucking him off.
I use my hand and my mouth as he rests his head against the door. His hand never leaving my ponytail. He guides me just where he wants me. My throat is being fucked by him. I gag a little and he eases up.
I don't stop sucking him. He closes his eyes and I know he is close. I keep my eyes locked on his and all of a sudden I feel his liquid shoot down my throat. I swallow all of it and stand up.
Nathan looks at me and I smile. He shakes his head pulling me into his arms. "You have to get to surgery," I say innocently.
"I'll be repaying that favor on our counter tonight," he says and smacks my butt. I smirk and kiss him.
"Go," I smile and he leaves. The rest of the day goes by smoothly.
After work today me and Nathan are meeting Claire at a restaurant for dinner. I am so excited to see her. I have missed her so much.
I walk out and meet Nathan in the parking lot. "Hi," I smile and he leans down giving me a quick kiss.
"Hi," he says and I smile.
"So how was your day?" He asks.
"Good," I smile and nod. I ask about him.
"Well I couldn't complain," he says and I nod.
"We're meeting Claire at Yard House right?" I ask and he nods as he drives. I pull out my phone and text her we are on our way.
The drive is quick and when we pull up she is walking in. She is in a cute little sundress and has her hair curled. We walk in and when she sees us she rushes over. I wrap her in my arms hugging her tightly. I tear up as I hold her. My first baby.
"Hi Pheebs," she says then goes to hug Nathan.
"Hi Bear," Nathan says as he hugs her tightly. We get seated at a table and we order drinks.
"Bear, update us," Nathan says.
"Well, not much has been going on. I am still dating William. He invited me to the family dinner on Sunday, I know you guys did too, but he invited me which is exciting. I'm doing school, oh and I actually do have something exciting," she says.
"What is that?" I ask. She goes into her small purse and pulls out a piece of paper. I grab it and Nathan and I look. Holy shit. Claire got a 1500 on her SAT. It is out of 1600 so a 1500 is amazing.
"Claire this is amazing, congratulations," I smile. I go over and hug her. Nathan congratulates her too. she was so stressed about taking it and studied her ass off.
"We have to celebrate this tonight. We are getting the chocolate cake," I say and Claire smiles.
"Thank you guys," she says.
"We are so proud of you, Bear," Nathan says. We put in our food order.
"How is Susan?" I ask.
"She is amazing. She loves William which makes life easier. She is great," she says and I smile.
"How have you guys been?" She asks. I look at Nathan. I mean I had a miscarriage and have been struggling. we aren't going to tell her that obviously.
"We've been good," Nathan says and I nod smiling.
"Same old, same old," I say and she nods smiling.
"Maisy had her baby," I say.
"No way, what did they end up naming her?" She asks. I grab my phone to show her pictures.
"Oakley Mae," I say and she nods.
"Oh she is just so precious," Claire says and I smile. That's our Godbaby.
"how are your parents?" Claire asks me.
"They are great, they are so excited to have you on Sunday. They have missed you," I say and she smiles.
"They are so good to me," she says and I smile. They love Claire. Just like I know they'll love Henry. Our food gets delivered and we all dig in.
"So, I do have something to ask," Claire says and Nathan and I both perk up.
"Well my school does this thing… it's stupid really and if you can't it's totally okay because like I said it's stupid," she is rambling.
"What is it, Bear?" Nathan asks.
"Well, it's a parent dance," she says. "All the boys bring their moms and the girls bring their dads. Everyone gets dressed up in like tuxedos and dresses and there's food and drinks," she is fumbling over her words.
"It happens the last week in September every year. My brother always went because well…" she looks as if she could cry. I just want to hug her.
"If you could Nathan, and again do not feel obligated cause it's stupid I thought I would ask if you maybe wanted to go," she says. I look to nathan and see the proudest look on his face.
"I would love to go," he says and Claire's face lights up.
"Really?" She smiles.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world. You tell me the day and I am there," he says and she smiles.
"Thank you so much. If you end up not being able to it's okay," she says. She thinks Nathan will be put out when really this is his element. He is such a natural when it comes to kids.
"I will be there," he reassures her. I smile.
We finish up dinner and head outside. We get a couple of pictures with the three of us. We bid our goodbyes, these are less difficult cause we will see her in 6 days with my parents.
We get into the car and start to drive home. I am drifting off on the way there. I have been so tired recently. I guess I have been working more.
When we get home we get into bed. "I'm nervous," I admit to Nathan.
"I know, but Lia said she thinks it shouldn't be a problem," he says and I nod.
"With my luck it'll be," I say and Nathan sits up looking down at me.
"No, don't think that way," he says and I sigh.
"I just want to be able to help him. I want him to have a loving home," I say and tears well in my eyes. Jeez, tired and emotional. This miscarriage did not great things to my body.
"Come here," Nathan sits up and pulls me to his chest. He holds me and I do cry. I cry for us. I cry for our lost baby, I cry for Nathan, my parents, Henry.
"Shhhh, I love you so much," he says and I hug him tighter.
"It's just hard," I say.
"I know baby, I know. I'm right here," he says and I hold onto him. This is what a miscarriage does. The emotions come out of nowhere.
I end up falling asleep against Nathan's chest. When I wake up, Nathan is already out of bed showering. I sit up and go to make us breakfast. We're going to Lia's office after work today to hear an update. Hopefully a good one.
After I make breakfast I head into the bathroom and get ready for work. I keep my outfit simple today. I straighten my hair and put on light makeup. Nathan comes behind me and kisses me good morning. We both eat our breakfast and head to work.
Once I get to my office I look at my hefty caseload for the day. I head down to my first patient which happens to be one of Nathan's. I knock on the door and hear a small hello. The patient is Julia who we had the doctor/ family meeting for. She had her first procedure and Nathan needs to check her. I am just here for moral support since here parents can't be here.
"Hi Julia, how are you feeling?" I ask her.
"I'm okay, my leg hurts when the medicine wears off," she says and I nod. Her family had to leave for the day.
"I believe that. Do you know what's happening today?" I ask and she nods.
"Nurse Jenna is checking my leg out of the cast?" She asks.
"Dr. Moore is actually going to be here," I say and she looks upset.
"Is everything okay?" I ask.
"I just wish my mom was here. I don't like being alone," she says.
"I am here for you sweetheart," I say and she nods. I get it. It is not the same.
Nathan walks in and so does his interns. I see the hot blonde who was in his office when I came in last time. "Hi Julia," Nathan says.
"Hi," she says and looks around. Nathan squats to her level next to the bed.
"Julia, you probably haven't seen this many doctors with me. These are the student doctors who follow me around. They watch what I do so they can be doctors. If you don't want them in here we can kick them out," Nathan explains. Julia looks at them. I want to rip the stethoscope off the hot blondes neck as she purses her lips watching Nathan look all sexy and sweet with Julia
"It's okay," she says and looks down.
"Are you sure?" He asks.
"I don't know," she says.
"How about you give them Harry Potter trivia while I check you?" Nathan asks. Julia smiles at that idea. This husband of mine.
"Okay," she smiles.
"Okay I'm going to move the bed sheet and remove the cast. You start for every question they get wrong that's a treat they owe you," Nathan says and I laugh. Julia takes my hand to squeeze in case something hurts.
"What's Harry's two best friends named?" Julia asks the hot blonde.
"Hmm… Poppy and…. john?" She asks. We all start laughing. What a stupid answer.
"Nope, next," Julia says, making us all laugh.
Nathan ends up finishing her exam quickly. We make sure she is settled and then let her be. The rest of the day goes by smoothly.
Finally, it is time to meet Lia. We head up and neither of us say anything. We walk into her office and Lia is smiling.
"Well Moore's you've done it again. Congratulations on being foster parents," she says. I look to Nathan and my heart swells. I lean forward crying. Everything is okay now. All the pain for the loss. We have a baby now.