Chapter 37
(Phoebe's POV)
I start part time this week. This past weekend was so amazing. Henry got to meet my family and Nathan and I got to spend some time with him. Nathan and I are due to leave in about 30 minutes.
Maisy and Blake are bringing over Oakley tonight. We haven't seen her since she was born and I'm so excited. I have missed them.
Stella, Henry's nanny, will be here any minute. I am rushing around the kitchen trying to get everything ready. "Bee," Nathan catches me in his arms.
"Slow down," he says. I am about to go off, but I know he's right. I'm just so worried about leaving Henry.
"I have all his stuff laid out for her, I have the phone numbers written down, what am I forgetting?" I ask.
"To breathe," Nathan says and I smirk at him. Henry comes running over to me from where he was sitting in the playroom.
"Bee bee, more peas," he says and I smile. He passes me his paw patrol cup and I fill it with more milk.
"Natin," Henry says and reaches up for Nathan to pick him up. These two have become the best of friends. Nathan swoops Henry up making him laugh.
"Wow," he says and we laugh.
There is a knock on the door. "Henry, Stella is here," I say. He buries his head in Nathan's shoulder. We have been talking about how fun Stella will be.
When I open the door I smile and give her a hug. She is Maisy's sister in law. She is a psychology major at University of Washington and is great with kids. She has references out the wazoo and is so sweet. She will be here part time with Henry.
"Hi Stella," I say and invite her in. We had her over to interview her before so we gave her the tour of the place.
"Hi guys," she smiles.
"This is Henry," Nathan says. Boy does he look hot holding a kid. Focus Phoebe.
"Hi Henry, I'm Stella," Henry looks at us and then her.
"Henry can you show Stella your cars?" I ask him. He gets the biggest smile and squirms. Nathan puts him down and Henry runs to get his cars.
"So I have everything you'll need on the counter. I have all the phone numbers written down too, is there anything else I'm forgetting or something you need?" I ask.
"No, I'm excited to get to know him," she says. I smile and nod. Henry runs back over and starts going through his car collection.
"Henry, you're going to stay with Stella while Nathan and I go to work," I smile. Henry runs over and grabs my hand.
"Pway Henry, Stel, Bee Bee," Henry says pointing to the three of us. Gosh is he cute.
"Yes, we can play when bee bee and Nathan get home. Give us hugs bye bye," I say. Henry hugs me and then Nathan. They do their fist bump and blow it up which makes Henry laugh.
When we start to walk out the door Stella continues to play with him. He turns when he sees us leaving and runs over. "No I go," he starts to get upset.
"We'll be home so soon buddy, go show Stella your truck," I say.
"No," Henry starts to cry and then really starts a terrible two tantrum.
"It's okay you guys, I got him," Stella says and picks him up. My heart is breaking and I think Nathan knows if he doesn't get me out I'm not leaving. He tugs my hand and I shut the door.
"I'm a horrible parent," I say as we ride the elevator down.
"Bee come on," Nathan says and hugs me from behind.
"You are an amazing parent. He'll be fine in two minutes. It's our first day leaving," he says and I nod. He's right, it's just hard.
We drive to the hospital and kiss each other goodbye. Nathan has surgery and I have to see patients. First I have a meeting with the other psychologists.
I grab my coffee and head to the meeting room. I sit down next to my closest friend in the psych department named Mary. I settle all my stuff down and get ready.
"How's the little guy?" She asks. I pull out my phone and show her pictures.
"First day back, are you ready?" She asks. I smile.
"Barely, but I have missed work," I say and she nods.
"It gets easier," she smiles and pats my hand. She has a 4 and a 2 year old.
The meeting is simple, my supervisor announced that they are inviting interns from the university of Washington to come into the hospital. They are going to be doing rounds with all of us. That is something I am looking forward to. I love teaching and helping.
After the meeting I head to my first patients room. It is a 13 year old girl who is experiencing a lot of anxiety. My coworker who took over for me while I was with Henry said she might think medication may be the way to go.
I am going to do an art therapy session with her and see if we can get to the bottom of her anxiety. I bring in my bag and knock on the door.
"Nina, May I come in?" I ask.
"Yeah," she says and I stand by her bed.
"I am phoebe. I am the psychologist, you met my friend, Amanda while she was covering for me," I say.
"Oh yeah," she says.
"Would you mind if I sat and we talked?" I ask her.
"Sure," she says and I sit down.
"How have you been doing?" I ask her.
"Okay," she says and I nod.
"I brought some paper and markers. I thought we could do an activity," I say.
I explain to her that we are going to draw all the things that make us feel safe and comfortable. Then when we start to feel anxious we can look at that and go through them reminding ourselves that we are safe.
This is an activity I like to do with the kids because it helps me understand how to help them and it helps them understand how to calm down.
"Can I start?" She asks. I nod and begin to draw with her. I have found the kids feel more comfortable if I'm not sitting there watching them.
"Have mom and dad been here?" I ask.
"After work they come, but not really during the day," she says.
"Is that okay with you?" I ask.
"I understand they have to work," she says.
"Did you get to see your sister over the weekend?" I ask. I read in Amanda's notes her sister was supposed to come.
"Yeah it was good," she smiles.
"I'm glad, wow that is amazing Nina," I say looking at her drawing of a speaker with music playing.
"Do you like music?" I ask and she nods.
"I love it," she says. I make note to get music therapy here ASAP.
"Do you listen to music when you start to feel anxious?" I ask.
"Oh yeah, but I don't have anything to listen to here," she says.
"I could bring you a radio or headphones if you have your own iPod," I say.
"Really?" She asks and I smile.
"Of course," I say and she smiles. This is why I do what I do. These kids don't realize that they deserve the world.
I finish up with Nina and head out of her room. I visit a couple of more patients before heading to the ER. There was a trauma case that I got asked to see. Nathan is the doctor.
When I walk into the room I see a terrified little girl who is sobbing. Nathan is trying to calm her down and the nurse is trying to get an IV in. I ask the nurse to give us a second.
She was in a car accident with her two parents and she got taken here. Her parents are at Seattle general hospital.
"Hi, I'm Phoebe," I say bending down to her level.
"What's your name?" I ask.
"Willow" she says quietly. Oh I like that name.
"Hi Willow, I'm here to sit with you and talk is that okay?" I ask using my gentle voice. She nods.
"You seem pretty upset right now, can you tell me what's going on?" I ask.
"I want mommy," she says and I nod.
"Mommy is at the doctors too getting some help. I know that mommy would be here with you if she could. Since mommy isn't here what do you think we can do to make Willow happy?" I ask.
"Sing songs," she says and I smile. Of course.
"Okay, how about we sing while my friend doctor Moore checks your boo boo," I say.
"It'll be quick like a bunny," Nathan says.
"Will it hurt?" She asks. She has a pretty nasty glass cut on her arm and they have to numb it which will make her fall asleep.
"It'll feel like a pinch, if you want you can hold my hand," Nathan says. The nurse does the shot.
"Okay," she says shyly. The nurse gets ready and she takes Nathan's hand. This is the sweetest sight. He is so good at his job.
"What do you want to sing?" I ask.
"Sunshine song," she says.
"How does that go?" I ask.
"Duh, you are my sunshine," she starts to sing and I know it now.
I start to sing gently with her. She takes Nathan's hand and is in a comfortable position. The nurse goes behind Nathan.
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey," she and I sing.
"You're a good singer," she says and I smile.
"You'll never know dear," we sing and the nurse puts the shot in. I keep singing and willow squeezes Nathan's hand tightly. She cries a bit but calms down quickly.
"All done," I say and she nods.
"Am I going to be okay?" She asks.
"You are, Dr. Moore is going to make your arm feel all better while you take a nap," I say and she nods. She lays back and falls asleep pretty quickly. I smile and thank Nathan and the nurse.
I head out and go back to my office. I have had a pretty good day. I smile and see Stella sent me a picture of Henry. He is dressing up as a firefighter. I smile and put my phone away.
I finish up some charts and end my day with a quick meeting. I grab my bag and head down to Nathan's office. I knock and Nathan says to come in. The same blonde intern who was here last time is sitting in front of him. He is behind his desk on his computer.
"Am I interrupting?" I ask.
"No I'm just printing some files for Rebecca here," Nathan says.
"Phoebe," I say and shake her hand.
"Rebecca nice to meet you," she says and I smile politely.
Rebecca goes back to ogling my husband right in front of me. I check my phone and text Maisy we'll be home shortly. "Here you are, don't forget to read the chart notes," Nathan says.
"Okay, thank you Dr. Moore," she says and he nods. When she leaves Nathan kisses my head and goes to grab his jacket.
"How was your day?" He asks.
"Oh, you know. Same old same old," I say and he smiles.
"Are you ready to get home and see the little man?" Nathan asks and I smile nodding.
We walk out and drive home hand in hand. Maisy will be here in 45 minutes so we have time with Henry. We head up the elevator and I am so excited.
"I'm sure he's missed us," Nathan says and I nod.
When the elevator doors open we walk into the penthouse. I hear cars rolling around. Nathan and I walk into the main room and see Stella and Henry playing with cars.
"You here," Henry screams and comes dodging towards us. Nathan and I both drop to his level and he hugs us. I smile as we hold him.
"How was your day with Stella?" I ask him.
"Me pway Stella pway," he explains and I smile.
"Natin up and go up," he says. He wants Nathan to throw him.
"Okay ready buddy," Nathan says and throws him up. As they play I talk to Stella.
"How was he?" I ask.
"Great, we had an awesome day. He ate the majority of his lunch except the vegetables. He had one meltdown before nap time but nothing we couldn't handle," she says and I smile.
"Thank you so much. No worries about the veggies he refuses to eat anything green," I say and she laughs.
We bid her goodbye and I head back into the playroom to see Nathan running Henry around making airplane noises. He is so funny. "Henry, we have friends coming over today," I say.
"Chwistian pway?" He asks and I smile at Nathan. He remembers my dad.
"No my friend. She is bringing a baby," I say and do a rocking motion.
"Babyyyyy," Henry tests out the word.
"Yes good job, a baby," I say.
"Babyyyy pway?" He asks.
"You can show the baby your cars and trucks," I smile. He looks at Nathan and tugs his hand to the cars. Nathan makes them go fast.
"Babe, I am going to get ready then ill switch with you and you can," I say and Nate gives me a thumbs up as he plays cars. I smile and head to shower.
I keep it casual and put on jeans and a sweater. I do my hair and some light makeup. When I walk out Nathan is in the kitchen with Henry giving him a sippy cup of milk.
"I got him, you can go get ready," I say and he smiles.
"You look pretty," he says and kisses me.
"I'm going to get him ready too," I say. I am going to get him changed into regular clothes. We let him wear jammies on his first day with Stella.
"Henry, let's go to your room," I say as Nathan goes to shower. He takes my hand and we walk up the stairs.
When we get upstairs I do his hair. He is rolling his truck back and forth. He had a bad case of bed head. "All done, you look so cute," I say. He smiles at himself in the mirror and gives me a thumbs up.
May we all look at ourselves like Henry looks at himself. I just adore him. "Let's get you dressed," I say.
"No me have trucks," he is in his truck jammies.
"Henry we have to wear real clothes to see the baby," I say.
"No trucks," he throws his truck down and starts crying. Terrible twos.
"Henry, listen to Bee Bee," I say and bend down to his level.
"We have to show the baby how we can wear real clothes," I say and he shakes his head crying.
"Do you need to take a deep breath? It sounds like you are having a big feeling," I say.
"No clothes," he says.
"Henry I have a big job for you, but you can't do it if you're crying," I say. He stops and looks at me.
"Job?" He asks.
"You have to help me pick your clothes," I say. I go over to his closet and pick two outfits.
"Do you want to wear your race car shirt or your shark shirt?" I ask him.
"Shark," he says and jumps up and down. The mood swings of a toddler. He's happy now.
"Okay and grey pants or black?" I ask.
"Dese ones," he says and I smile. I put on the grey pants and shirt.
"Look how handsome you look," I say and point to his mirror. He runs over and gives me a thumbs up.
"You did such a good job of calming down when you were having a big feeling," I say. "Double high five," I say. He runs over and gives me two high fives.
"Baby?" He asks.
"Soon, let's go see nathan," I smile. He grabs my hand and holds his car in the other.
We walk into our room and find Nathan. He has pants on and is deciding on a shirt. "There's my favorite little man," Nathan says. Henry runs over and he picks him up tossing him in the air. Henry squeals.
"What color shirt should I wear?" Nathan asks Henry. I smile and watch them leaning against the door frame.
"Dis," Henry says.
"Blue? The same as you," Nathan asks.
"Yes," Henry nods.
"Okay, stand here," Nathan puts Henry on the island In the middle of his closet and has him stands.
"Bee bee," Henry says and smiles because he's up high.
"You're taller than me," I say and Henry giggles.
After Nathan gets his shirt on he puts on cologne. "Me," Henry says.
"You want some cologne?" Nathan asks.
"Me lone," Henry tries to say cologne. I laugh and watch as Nathan gives him a spray.
"You look good," Nathan says to Henry. I smile and walk to the kitchen with them.
Henry starts to play in the family room and I turn on Moana. The pizza comes so we stick it in the oven to stay warm. We're all parents now, pizza was the easiest.
I hear a knock on the door. "I got it," Nathan says.
"Thanks babe," I say. He goes and gets the door.
"Henry come here," I say. Henry toddles over the truck in hand. Maisy comes in with Oakley in the baby carrier. She looks great. Blake has the diaper bag following her.
"Pheebs," she says and smiles. I give her the biggest hug.
"Hi Blake," I give him a hug too.
"Now who is this?" She asks and bends down to Henry. Henry gets shy and hides behind my leg.
"Henry this is Maisy," I say.
"Mace," Henry says. "Mace play?" He asks. Maisy melts and looks at me.
"Of course I'll play," she says. Henry smiles and jumps.
"Hi buddy, I'm Blake," Blake bends down to Henry.
"Cake?" Henry giggles. We all start laughing. That makes Oakley start crying in the carrier.
"Oh she has the biggest FOMO, if she hears us and isn't right in the conversation she screams," Maisy says.
"Show is our goddaughter," I smile. Nathan is talking to Henry and Blake about cars.
"Here she is," Maisy says and picks Oakley up. She is adorable. She is a couple weeks old now. She is so sweet.
"Oh my gosh, Mase," I say.
"You want to hold her?" Maisy asks.
"Of course, Hand her over," I say. We go and sit down in the family room. Nathan and Blake are passing the truck back and forth.
"God forbid I didn't give him a boy," Maisy says and I laugh.
"Here is your godmother, Oakley girl," Maisy says as she passes me the baby. She is in a black onesie and has cheetah leggings on with a cheetah print bow.
"She's so cute," I say. I hold her to me and she snuggles my chest. I could stay here forever.
"Nathan, come see your goddaughter," I say. Nathan turns and comes over to me.
"Maisy, she's precious," Nathan says smiling.
Henry takes notice of this. He walks over and puts his hand on Nathan's leg. "Baby," he points. Oh gosh, I wonder how he'll react.
"You are right, this is Oakley," I say.
"Holds me, bee bee," Henry says. He comes over and puts his hands on my legs. He is jealous.
"Henry why don't you come sit here," I pat the spot next to me.
"No me," Henry says growing upset. I know if he has a temper tantrum it will scare the baby.
"Here Nathan," I say and pass him Oakley. She looks so tiny compared to him. I pick Henry up on my lap.
"Hi," Henry says. I smile and look at Maisy. When I see Nathan there is a ping of sadness in my heart. We would have been out of our first trimester and celebrating.
I hug Henry to my chest and kiss his head. I bounce him on my lap which makes him giggle. "I have to get pictures," Maisy says. She smiles and takes a bunch of Nathan and Oakley. I switch to holding her and she gets some with me.
"Henry do you want to hold the baby?" Maisy asks. I get nervous as he nods yes. Hopefully he'll be gentle. I kneel down as Henry sits on the couch.
"We have to be very gentle," I say and Henry nods.
Maisy is holding her but sets her down across Henry. She is supporting her head. Henry smiles and looks at us. "Baby," he says and we smile.
"Yes she is a baby," Nathan says. I get a bunch of pictures because they are so cute together. Henry gently strokes her head which sends us all.
We eat pizza and sit causally around the kitchen. Oakley fell asleep on Nathan so he is holding her. It is the sweetest sight. I can't wait for us to have a newborn.
"So how have you been?" Maisy pats my hand.
"Good," I smile. "Just taking care of Henry and working," I say.
"If you ever need us to take him, we can. Blake and Henry have formed quite the bond," she says and I laugh.
"Thank you," I say.
"I mean it, it's important you get some time off," she says. She is so selfless.
"Says the one with the newborn," I say and Maisy laughs.
"Well, yeah. But I know you would take her if we needed," she says and I nod.
"Of course, she's our goddaughter," I say and she smiles.
"It's so important for you and Nathan to still get 1 on 1 time. That's what's been getting Blake and I through. We hang out and talk every night after we put her down," Maisy says and I nod. She is right.
"You are right," I say and she nods. Nathan and I haven't had a lot of alone time. It's hard with a toddler.
"I always have been," she says and I laugh.
The rest of the night is so fun. It ends early because Oakley has to go to bed. After they leave we head upstairs and I run Henry a bath.
"Little man is ready for his bath," Nathan says as Henry runs in behind him. I lift Henry in the bath and Nathan and I sit in front of it.
"Boat," he says as he pushes the boat around.
"You are right, that is a boat buddy," Nathan says and I smile. I wash Henry's hair and body. We let him play a little longer before getting him in his pajamas.
Nathan reads him The Day The Crayons Quit. The cutest book ever. Henry is half asleep by the end of it.
"Goodnight buddy, we love you," I say. I kiss his head. Nathan kisses his head too. We turn on his sound machine and shut the door.
Nathan and I walk downstairs. I start cleaning up the leftover pizza and glasses. "Bee," Nathan says and is standing on the other side of the counter.
"Yeah?" I ask.
"Are you okay?" He asks. I'm taken back by that.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"I mean are you okay? it was probably tough to be around a newborn after you had a miscarriage," he says and I nod. He always knows. He picks up on so much. I don't give him credit always.
I set down the glass I was washing and sigh. He comes over to me and puts his hands on my shoulders. "It'll be our turn soon," he says and I nod giving him a half smile. He wraps me in his arms.
I stay there and hug him tightly. This man. This man has been through it all with me. Since junior year of high school. 10 years this November. 1 year of marriage in April.
"I love you, baby," he says.
"I love you too," I say.
"I mean it," he says.
"So do I," I say. He smirks and kisses me.