Chapter 66
(Phoebe's POV)
When I wake up Sawyer is not in her bassinet and Nathan is not in our bedroom. I slept for almost 5 hours straight. I literally feel like a new woman. Memories flood back into my head. Nathan left at 2 am last night. I get up and hurry out to the kitchen.
Nathan is with Henry and Sawyer. Henry is eating breakfast and Sawyer is getting a bottle. I look at Nathan and can see the exhaustion. He is covering it well and talking excitedly to Henry. Guilt floods over me. I am the worst. Nathan gives me his best smile when he sees me.
"Hi baby," I say and kiss Henry's head.
"Momma I eat cakes," he says and takes another mouthful of a pancake.
"Yum buddy," I say and he nods.
"Nate," I say and rub his back.
"What's wrong, baby?" He asks, looking concerned. I am on the verge of tears. I feel so bad. He was up all night while I slept.
"I am so sorry, what happened? I fell asleep. You had the baby and where is Claire?" I am freaking out.
"Hey, Hey, Hey," he says and looks at me. "You needed sleep, Bee. I took care of it, let's get them settled and I will explain. Don't feel bad," he says and I put my head on his shoulder.
"Bee, I am serious. Do not feel bad. You had a baby two weeks ago, there is no reason to feel bad," he says and I kiss him. How did I ever get so lucky?
We get Henry settled playing with his trucks and Nathan passes me Sawyer so I can burp her. "What happened?" I ask curiously.
"Claire had a party last night. A noise complaint came through at 1, so the cops showed up. They needed a parent or legal guardian there, so she called us," I can't believe my ears. Our Claire?
"Is she being charged? Where is Susan? She didn't leave until today, I thought. Did she lie?" I have millions of questions.
"She lied, Susan left two days ago. She wanted to throw the party," Nathan tells me and I nod. I can't believe Claire would do that.
"She was incredibly drunk. She threw up, I stayed up with her and Sawyer and watched her," he says and I sigh.
"I am so sorry, I wasn't awake," I say and he shakes his head.
"Bee, I don't want you to even think about it," he says and I frown.
"What do we do," I ask him.
"We need to talk to her and there has to be a punishment for this," he says and I nod.
"Was William there?" I ask him.
"She said it was for his graduation," he says and I lean forward rubbing my head.
"Good gracious," I say and he nods rubbing my neck.
"I mean, do we tell Susan?" I ask leaning back. Henry runs over to me.
"Momma, I put dis car da floor and it went zoooooooooooom," he screams and I smile.
"I saw that, it was amazing," I say.
"Henry, remember how we talked about doing tummy time with Sissy?" I ask him.
"Yep, I haves to sit and sing songs," he says and I laugh. We told him he could help us do tummy time by sitting in front of her and singing.
"Can you go get her pink mat from the playroom?" I ask him.
"Yep," he says and sprints off.
"I don't think we should tell Susan," he says and I readjust Sawyer so she is upright.
"I agree, but is that wrong?" I ask.
"I don't know," he says and I nod. Henry comes back and has her pink mat. She passes it to me. It is time for Sawyer's tummy time. She doesn't mind it.
I pick her up and lay the mat down. I place her on her belly. Henry sits in his spot and starts singing.
When he starts singing Sawyer starts trying to lift her head. We only do 30 seconds to 1 minute of tummy time since she is so little.
"Look at you go little lady," Nathan says and bends down watching her.
After 1 minute, I pick her up. Henry gives her a high five. She is now fussy. I rock her side to side for a bit. Nathan walks behind me and gives my butt a squeeze. I smirk at him and look back at Henry.
"Let's see if we can have my dad take Henry out today. I don't want him to hear us talking to Claire," I say and Nathan nods.
I text my dad and explain what is going on. About a minute later I got a reply. "On my way!" I laugh and show Nathan.
"He must have been waiting for that text," Nathan says and I nod, smirking. My dad adores Henry, he probably was waiting for that text.
"Hen," I call him over to us.
"Minute," he says. I look at Nathan and laugh. He is trying to say give me a minute. He is crouched down over his toys. I place Sawyer in her swing and turn it on.
"Henry," Nathan says. Henry gets up and turns to us. He lets out a big sigh and walks over. It takes everything out of me not to laugh. It's tough being two.
"Hen, guess what?" I ask him.
"What," he asks. I bend down to his level.
"Guess who you get to see today?" I ask him.
"BUBS," he jumps up and down, smiling.
"Yes," I smile and Henry claps his hands and jumps around.
"So excited," he says and hugs me. I laugh and kiss his head.
I go upstairs and get Henry dressed. I put him in his cars tshirt and shorts. I bring him back down and my dad is already here. Henry sprints to him and throws himself against my dads chest. I smile as they hug. It is like they didn't just see each other two days ago.
"Bubs, we pway," Henry says.
"Yes, we are going to play and then don't tell mommy we are going to get ice cream," my dad says in a loud whisper. I laugh and look at Nathan.
"Secret," Henry says and my dad nods.
"How many paparazzi cars were out there?" I ask.
"Only a few. Teddy is working to get the story cleared. It will be okay, Bubs" My dad says and hugs me tightly. I wish I could believe him.
"Bye," Henry says and tugs at my dad's hand.
"Hey, hey, hey hold on," I say. I go over and bend down.
"Where is my hug and kiss," I ask Henry.
Henry hugs me tightly and kisses me. "Lub you mommy," he says. He walks over to Nathan who picks him up. He hugs Nathan and Nathan kisses his head. "Be good, okay buddy," Nathan asks.
"I be so good," he says. I watch as Henry goes over to Sawyer and kisses her hand. "Be good, sissy," Henry says and we all melt.
"Is everything okay over here?" My dad asks and I nod.
"Claire, lied and threw a party that got caught by the cops last night. We just didn't want Henry here when we talk to her about that. Thank you for taking him," I say and my dad nods.
"Of course, Bubs. Remember you were 17 once," my dad says and I nod.
"I know, you big softie. Drop him off whenever, okay?" I say and my dad nods.
"I love you, Bubs," he says and I hug him tightly.
"Love you more," I say.
My dad walks over to Sawyer's rocker and picks her up. He kisses her forehead and rocks her gently. "She is your twin," he says and looks at me. Everyday she is looking more like me.
My dad passes Sawyer back to me and I hold her to my chest. We send him and Henry off and I watch as my dad picks him up. She is still asleep. "I am going to change her and wake Claire up," I say and Nathan nods. He starts cleaning up Henry's toys.
I head upstairs and put Sawyer in a white onesie with lemon bloomers and a matching lemon bow. I mean I am biased, but I don't think she could get any cuter. I walk over to Claire's door and knock. No response.
"Claire," I say and knock a little louder.
I walk in and find Claire sprawled out on the bed. I sigh as I see she threw up in the bucket Nathan left her. I do feel bad, I am just frustrated as she has pulled this before. "Claire," I say.
She sits up groggily and looks at me before she groans. She leans over to the trashcan and vomits in it. Sawyer moves her arms up to my chest and squirms a bit. "Hi," I kiss her.
"Claire, Nathan and I want to talk to you. Meet us downstairs please," I say and she nods.
"Pheebs," she says and looks at me with tears in her eyes.
"Yes," I say.
"I am so sorry," she says and I nod.
"I know," I say and walk out of the door. When I go downstairs Nathan has eggs and toast for Claire.
"I don't know if she will be eating that," I laugh and he looks at me.
"Hungover," he asks.
"Oh yeah," I say and he runs his hands over his face.
"Jeez," he says and I nod.
Nathan comes and stands over me as I hold Sawyer. She is just as cute as a button. She lets out a little burp and we both laugh. "How is she ours?" I ask Nathan.
"I don't know. She looks like she gained a bit of weight," she says and I laugh as he takes her in his arms.
"Hi my peanut," he kisses her head. She lifts her head a bit and Nathan repositions her in his arms.
"Look at you, missy," he says and tickles her belly. She is staying awake for longer stretches today.
Seeing Nathan and Sawyer together melts me. There is nothing sweeter than the two of them together. Nathan kisses her head and takes a sip of his coffee. I am going to try to let him nap this afternoon.
Claire comes into the kitchen. Her blonde hair is in a messy bun and she is wearing my sweats and tshirt. She somehow still manages to look effortlessly beautiful. I guess this is mom bias. "Good morning," Nathan says and puts her breakfast in front of her. He also passes her a glass of orange juice and two advils.
"Good morning," she says and sips the orange juice and takes the advil.
"How are you feeling?" Nathan asks. I look at her and realize she has a hickey on her neck. I internally sigh. I pray Nathan doesn't see that. I make note to talk to her and make sure they are having safe sex. I know Susan is incredibly religous and preaches no sex before marriage.
"Not great, but I deserve that," she says quietly and I look at her.
"Claire what happened last night?" I ask her. I want to give her the chance to explain herself before we start throwing accusations at her.
"I… William graduated, and the house was empty. I wanted to have a few people over. I didn't even expect to really drink, but then one of the people that came brought beer. One thing led to another," she stops talking and rubs her head.
"I am sorry I called you guys, I just didn't have anyone else," that comment breaks my heart. We are one of the few people Claire has to talk to.
"Claire, you lied to me and Phoebe, not to mention broke the law. You also lied to Susan. You are lucky you didn't get arrested," Nathan says sternly. Sawyer is now asleep, so I reach over to take her. I am going to put her in the bassinet. Nathan kisses her head before handing her to me.
I take her to our room and swaddle her. I place her in the bassinet and position the monitor so I can see her. I walk back into the kitchen. Nathan is standing with his arms crossed and Claire has tears streaming down her face.
"Claire, we've been through this before. This behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated by us," he says and she nods, wiping her tears away.
"You are grounded for the fourth of July. You will be spending it here with us because we are hosting, no going out with friends. You also will be grounded up until then, no going out and no having friends over," Nathan says and she nods.
"I know and I deserve anything else that happens," she says and that comment makes Nathan and I freeze and look at each other. Claire has a history of abuse, physical and sexual, so hearing her say this worries me.
"Claire, what do you mean?" I ask.
"I mean you shouldn't have to put up with me. You have two kids and I am nothing but a burden to you. If Nathan hits me or you or you never want to see me again," she is sobbing now.
I didn't realize she was still struggling with the abuse aspect. She has been abandoned by everyone in her life from when she was little, it is not a surprise she thinks we are going to walk away. The psychologist in me knows that she will forever need reassurance by the people who truly care.
"Claire," I say.
"Nathan and I are not going to leave. We love you. And we have three kids, not two. You are one of our kids and that is why we are reprimending you for throwing a party. If we didn't care or love you, we wouldn't be doing that," I say and lean over squeezing her hand. She nods and sniffles.
"Claire… I would never, never under any circumstances lay a finger on you. I know in the past people have said that to you and have gone back on their word, but I promise you no matter how mad I am, no matter what happens I will never touch you," Nathan says and his voice is as gentle as I have heard it.
"I try to tell myself that, I just have a hard time understanding," Claire says and wipes her eyes some more.
"Claire, are you still going to see Dr. Payne?" I ask her. We set her up with a therapist awhile back. I kick myself in the foot for not checking, but I was 7 months pregnant and baby brain got the best of me.
"No… I didn't like her," Claire says and looks down picking at her nails.
"Did you go?" I ask her and she looks at me shaking her head.
"I don't need to go to therapy, I am not crazy," she says and I am almost positive I said the same exact thing to my dad when he made me see Flynn.
"I went to therapy," I say. Nathan looks over at me and then to Claire.
"I did too," Nathan says.
"Do you think we are crazy?" I ask.
"Don't answer that honestly," Nathan says and that makes Claire laugh.
"Claire, therapy can be very helpful, will you give it a try this week, for me?" I ask her.
"I guess," she says.
"Thank you, sweet girl," I say.
"I really am sorry," Claire says and I can see in her eyes she means every word that she is saying. I walk over to her and she stands up. I wrap my arms around her tightly. She stays in my chest and hugs me.
"I love you, Pheebs," she says and I smile.
"I love you most," I say to her. When we let go she sits back down.
"Can I give you a hug?" Nathan asks.
"Yes," Claire says and puts herself in Nathan's arms. He holds her tightly and kisses her head. He loves this girl so much.
"I mean it, Bear. I love you so much. I would never hurt you," Nathan whispers to her. I see her shoulders shake and I know she is crying. This poor sweet girl.
"I know, I am trying to get myself to understand it, Nate," she says back and he nods holding her.
"I know," he says and kisses her head. The tender moment is interrupted by Sawyer's shrieks. I turn around and head into the master bedroom. I walk over to the bassinet and see Sawyer is up and ready to eat.
I unswaddle her and pick her up. I change her wet diaper and sit down on the couch we have in our master bedroom. I whip out a boob and help Sawyer latch on. Once she does she makes her soft eating noises.
"Good girl," I say and pat her butt. She continues to eat happily. Halfway through I switch her to my other boob and she happily eats. After about 20 minutes she is done. I lift her up on my chest and burp her. She lets out a big burp and I laugh.
I take her out to the kitchen where Claire and Nathan are. "Hello," I say. I rock Sawyer who is staring up at me.
"Hi," Nathan says and smiles at me.
"Look at her little outfit, can I hold her?" Claire asks.
"Absolutely," I say and pass her over to Claire who is sitting at the counter.
"Hi baby girl," Claire says and kisses Sawyer's head. This baby is not lacking in the love side of things.
"Claire, we want to give you a heads up that we have paparazzi following us. My dad is suing Phoebe and lying saying that she assaulted him. It is ridiculous I know, but we do have that to deal with now. So not that you will be leaving because you are grounded, but if you look out and see cars that is who they are. Do not talk to anyone who tries to talk to you okay?" Nathan asks and she nods.
"I am sorry that is happening," Claire says and I nod.
"Me too," I say.
"Hi Sawyer," Claire says and Sawyer grasps her finger. I smile at the sight in front of me. They are absolutely adorable.
"Where is Henry?" Claire asks, looking around.
"My dad took him out on the boat for the day," I say and she nods.
"I know I'm grounded, but Will I be able to see your parents?" Claire asks and that makes me smile. I love that she wants to see my parents.
"Yes, you will," I say and she nods. She rocks Sawyer and I smile watching them together. My oldest and youngest.
"I can keep her if you guys want to go shower or sleep. She just ate right, so she should be good for awhile. Besides I probably owe you hours worth of babysitting," she smiles. I look at Sawyer who is peacefully sitting in her arms.
Nathan is exhausted and I need to shower. Henry is gone so she really would just be sitting. I look at Nathan and then her. "If you wouldn't mind, Nathan is going to sleep and I would love to shower," I say.
"Of course, I got her," she says.
"Bee," Nathan starts.
"Bed, Nathan Moore, she'll wake you if anything happens," I say. Nathan sighs and stands up. He kisses Claire's head and then sawyers. I show Claire where her diapers are in case she needs a diaper change.
Nathan and I walk back into our room. Nathan lays down on the bed and I shut the blinds. I sit next to him and tuck him in which makes him laugh.
"Do I get a bedtime story too," he asks and I laugh.
"Mmm not today," I say.
"How about a bedtime kiss," he says and I tap my finger to my chin feigning thought.
"Alright," I say and lean down kissing him. It's so at first, but then my tongue meets the seam of his lips. He opens his mouth to me and the kiss deepens. I roll onto Nathan and cup his face in my hands.
He moves hips against me and I groan out in pain. Still very sore between my legs apparently. I roll off him. "Shit bee are you okay?" Nathan asks and I nod.
"I'm fine, just sore from pushing a baby out of a pea sized hole," I say.
"Want me to check it out for you?" He asks and I laugh. Perv.
"I can manage, go to sleep, I am going to shower," I say and he nods.
I take a hot shower and it feels so good. I wash my body and hair and shave. I get out and feel like a new woman. I dry my hair and straighten it. I put on a comfy nursing friendly jumper and walk out to our bedroom. Nathan is asleep. I smile and shut the door.
I head out to the kitchen and grab myself some water. I look into the living room and see Claire playing with Sawyer on her mat. She has sawyer on her back and is shaking a rattle. Sawyer is incredibly entertained by it.
"Hi," I smile and sit down on the couch beside them.
"I love her so much," Claire says and straightens Sawyer's bow.
"Well she loves you too. You are going to be a big influence on her as her big sister," I say and Claire smiles but it is a sad smile.
"What is wrong?" I ask and squeeze her shoulder.
"I am not doing a great job being a good influence, I am probably not the best person for her to look up to," Claire says. As Sawyer starts fussing Claire picks her up and cradles her calming her down. She is a natural.
"No, you are the perfect person to be her role model," I say and Claire scuffs.
"Claire, a role model isn't someone who is perfect. Nor would I want my daughters to look up to someone who is perfect. I want Sawyer to look up to someone who can make a mistake and learn from it, like you have. I want her to look up to someone who is kind and compassionate, like you are. You are the perfect person to guide her, especially when she gets older and I am no longer cool," I say and she laughs.
"Thank you, Pheebs," she says and I hug her, being careful of Sawyer in her arms.
This life is so sweet.