"I didn't expect to see you here again."
Hal opened her eyes, although it was more of a formality really. She had heard the footsteps long before the man had appeared beside her. She looked over and smiled. "I hope you don't mind. I rather liked this spot and I thought I might take your idea and practice a bit of meditation while I was here."
Sloan looked marginally surprised by her response judging by the subtle raise of his brows. "That so?"
"Although I thought I might come a further ways down just in case. I didn't want it to seem as though I was encroaching."
He waved his hand. "It's not like I own the forest. You may come and go as you please, it is no concern of mine."
Hal nodded, although she had to wonder if this was how he truly felt. She had, out of curiosity, returned to this area over the last few days, but this was the first time Sloan had made an appearance. She had to wonder if perhaps he had been anxious about her returning. Or maybe her presence and knowledge of Carvahall had simply unnerved him, not to mention that she had told him two people who would certainly know and recognize him were her travel companions. Yes, the more she thought about it, the more it made sense that this was her first time seeing the man since.
"Until our conversation, I had forgotten how important clearing one's mind could be," Hal continued, trying to keep the conversation flowing. "Although admittedly I'm a bit out of practice."
"Aye, it's not as easy as it looks. But you strike me as someone who catches on pretty quick. It might be tough at first to get back into it, but I'm sure it's familiar enough to you."
"Indeed, it is. Would you like to join me for a little while? I still owe you for letting me sit with you last time."
Sloan's expression fell a bit, and she noticed his eyes darting past her as if half-expecting someone to suddenly be standing there. "No. No, I better get going."
"Of course. It was good to see you again."
His lips were pressed tightly together as he gave a jerk of a nod before turning and walking back the way he had come. It didn't escape Hal's notice that he had not responded with "You too" although she was perfectly fine with that. But the sadness that hung around him wore heavily, his shoulders low as Hal watched him leave.
When he was gone, she turned back to the scenery before her and sighed, no longer in the mood to meditate. She let her hands fall carelessly into her lap and let her shoulders sag a bit as she relaxed her posture. Besides, she had been sitting out here for nearly four hours. She was confident that if she was going to find something wrong with her mind, she would've found it.
Hal fell back onto the ground. She couldn't find what Thorn had. Couldn't feel what he had. This crack in her mind from too much raw energy being stored in her body. She felt as she always did. Yet she couldn't fathom how Thorn could sense it and she could not. Then again, she had not been lying to Sloan when she said she was out of practice being introspective. Maybe if she had been consistent the last six months, she would know more than she did right now.
Lying on the ground, she could feel as well as hear the approaching footsteps coming from her right. They were light, unfamiliar to her, so she knew it wasn't Murtagh, Baldor, or Albriech. She sat up, turning her head in the direction they approached. Not long after, Irindriel stepped through the path, his eyes quick to find hers as he headed towards her.
"Miss Halen, I'm glad I found you. Her majesty has received word from her majesty, Nasuada. Everyone is gathering in the Queen's Hall. I am to escort you there."
"Oh, yes, of course." Hal got to her feet, wiping down her clothes of the bits of dirt and pebbles that clung to her. "Is this outfit appropriate?"
He smiled. "Yes. Please, right this way."
There was very little surprise that Nasuada's response came back in agreement with Arya's proposition. There was even less of a surprise that it came with the condition that they would have two months. If they found nothing, they were to return to Ilirea immediately. If they did not, the worse would be assumed and Nasuada was prepared to send soldiers in after them.
"At least she has agreed to let us go," said Murtagh with a resigned sigh. "Although I wonder if two months is enough time. I almost want to assume that Nasuada is afraid we might succeed in finding Thea and is hoping a shorter timeline will prevent anything reckless from happening."
"She does seem rather wary based on the tone of the letter," Arya agreed. "And if what we have found is correct in regards to how to reach this place, we are looking at two weeks of travel just to get there, assuming nothing goes wrong. So yes, I would have to agree with you, Murtagh, that I do not think she wishes you to engage. I can understand her concern, as it is a high-risk mission. But she has consented. Which means we must now prepare to move forward with the hope and expectation that you will find and defeat Thea."
"What about restoring magic?" asked Baldor, looking around the table.
"A secondary effort. We cannot allow Thea to maintain the upper-hand should she choose to strike again. Presumably, we do not need her to restore magic. For now, focus on stopping her by any means necessary." When they had agreed, she continued. "I also have been working to uphold my half of my promise, and I have found five of my best to accompany you all north."
At this, the door behind Hal opened and she twisted in her seat just as Irindriel walked through, followed by four others. Her eyes widened on one, and she thought instantly of Blödhgarm and how he had manipulated his appearance to match that of a predatorial-like creature. This person was no exception, their fur so black it appeared almost blue in the lighting. It reminded Hal of a lovuk, almost wolf-like in their thick coat. Their nails and teeth had been sharpened, and, perhaps most frightening, was the pit-like blackness of their eyes, that seemed to see everything, tearing through Hal so much that she instantly fortified her mind tenfold. The elf smiled, as if they knew the exact nature of the reaction they had on non-elves. She heard Baldor and Albriech inhale sharpy with surprise, otherwise hiding their reactions with stiff expressions. None of the other elves seemed remotely alarmed or concerned. Murtagh didn't even seem to care. And the rest, by comparison, were all rather normal looking.
When they came to a stop, they all bowed before Arya, who had risen from her seat. Murtagh and Hal followed her lead and were greeted in kind. Baldor and Albriech stood behind them, keeping a close but modest distance.
"Murtagh, Halen, I am pleased to introduce you to some of our best warriors. Irindriel assembled those you see before you, so I will ask him to make the introductions."
He bowed his head in acknowledgement. He went down the line, each elf stepping forward. First there was Faelyn, with auburn hair and charming brown eyes that softened his otherwise sharp, elvish features. When he spoke, his voice was soothing and low as he pledged his spear in their service. Then there was Eldrin, whose appearance resembled Irindriel with blonde hair and a handsome face, but with ocean-blue eyes and a much more serious conviction about him. He also pledged his spear in service.
Then came the elf with the distorted appearance, a woman by the name of Ysildea. It was impossible to know who she was looking at with her all-black eyes, but the grace in which she moved felt just as beautiful as it did deadly. Hal felt even more like she was in the presence of a lovuk, wary of her strength and speed while also entranced by them. When she spoke, pledging her sword, her voice was so lovely and warm that it should have clashed with her overall appearance, and yet it somehow blended with it perfectly.
Lastly was an elf named Ailen, with dark hair braided back into a single plait. Compared to the others, there was something almost aloof about her, from her soft smile and eyes to the quiet way in which she spoke as she too pledged her sword.
"Lastly," said Irindriel, moving to stand beside Ailen, "I will also be pledging my service to your efforts. I have quite enjoyed our time together, and I would be honored to be of use if you will have me."
Hal was relieved that there would be one familiar face amongst them. "We look forward to working with you," Murtagh answered. "All of you. We are incredibly grateful."
After introducing themselves and the brothers, their newfound group spent the next few hours catching the elves up on everything they knew about Thea so that they were not going in blind. They also went ahead and shared what they knew of Hal's magic, including that she could still use it. It was a risk, but after one encounter with Thea, the secret would be out anyway. And besides, Baldor and Albriech knew, it was for the best that the others did as well.
Finally, they all agreed on the decision to leave in two days time. There was no point in prolonging their trip, and it would not take long for everyone to make sure they had what they needed. A map was provided and spread over the table, and Hal realized it mirrored the tapestry back at the estate. The borders were wider, showing the land to the north and east. But Hal knew much of their travels would be speculation, as no one in recorded human history had ever gone where they were about to.
"This will be our path forward," Irindriel said, his slender finger tracing a line from Ellesméra through Du Weldenvarden, all the way to the edge of the forest. The end of Alagaësia proper. "We will leave our horses here. As you can see, from this point forward, we will have to travel by boat. Not to mention the temperatures would be too much for them, and finding food for them as well as us a more laborious task than necessary."
"What about Thorn?" Hal asked worriedly, looking over at the dragon.
When Murtagh and I attempted to cross the barren lands, there were still predators that I could hunt for sustenance. I will be all right, young one.
Hal nodded, then looked back at the map, growing anxious. Everything they spoke of once they reached the northern lands became guesswork. It was truly a risk, taking on this journey. One that Hal was becoming less certain of as the conversation continued around her. At this point, she did not know if she actually wanted to find Thea or not. To travel all that way for nothing would have wasted everyone's time and effort. But knowing the risk if they did find her sister…
Hal realized her hands had begun to shake and clasped them tightly in front of her, hoping no one had noticed. She dared look around the table, but all eyes were on the map, focused as ideas and suggestions were exchanged in firm, serious tones. A year ago, she never fathomed that she would be here. And if all went well, this nightmare could soon be over.
"Then it's settled," Arya said, and Hal refocused her attention quickly before anyone realized she had been in her own head. "I suggest you all rest while you can. Halen, Murtagh, Thorn, Albriech, and Baldor, as our guests please feel free to use this remaining time to enjoy yourselves under the hospitality of the elves. Irindriel can show you around, and I do hope you all will join me for a Farewell Dinner on the last night of your stay."
As everyone was gathering to leave, Arya called Hal over, stepping away from the others to talk in private. When they were a safe distance away, Arya looked straight ahead instead of at Hal. "I realize this is a rather personal matter, but I know I will feel uneasy until I ask: when you spoke with him, how did Eragon seem?"
Hal released a slow breath, relieved. She had been somewhat on edge that Arya had suddenly wanted to speak with her privately. She gave a small smile. "He seemed very well. Aside from the rather unfortunate news we were delivering to him. But that concern also let us know that, wherever he is, they were unaffected by what happened here."
Arya took a deep breath and smiled. "Thank you for telling me."
"Of course."
Murtagh and Thorn were waiting for her outside. She thought he might ask what Arya wanted, but instead he said, "You got quiet halfway through the meeting. Everything all right?"
"Just anxious," she admitted, glancing around them, taking in the calming scenery of the forest to try and ease her nerves just a bit. "There is much riding on the outcome of this expedition. I can't fully explain how but, it feels like the end. But whether it's good or bad —"
"It's good," Murtagh assured her, halting to a stop. Hal did the same, turning to face him. "Do not let despair win out when we are so close. I won't pretend it'll be easy. Heaven knows nothing has been since all of this began. But have hope that good will prevail. Otherwise, what is the point in wanting a better future if we've already given up."
"I haven't given up," Hal stated unconvincingly. "I just…I don't know. For so long I told myself my priority was keeping you and Thorn safe. Keeping the Tenari safe. That was all I cared about. But after what happened in Ilirea, after being in Carvahall, even here in Ellesméra, I cannot just ignore the needs of the many as much as I want to. So many lives have been lost. And more still could perish if we are not successful. I feel like the future I want is too closely wound up in the future of this country as a whole, even though I tried convincing myself it wasn't. What I want is dependent on Alagaësia being able to safely and peacefully move forward. In order for that to happen, I must defeat Thea by any means and also find a way to restore magic. That is the only way."
"Hal, you know it's not. We've talked about other options. They may not be as ideal, but knowing they're there is just as important."
"Perhaps as temporary solutions, but long-term? You and I both know that can't work. We have to restore things as they were." As they were broken, she said to herself.
"Temporary solutions are still better than no solutions at all," he reminded her gently.
She caved and nodded. "I know. I do. I just want this all to be over with sooner rather than later. And it feels like the only way to reach that goal is to jump straight to the absolute preferred and best-case scenario. For once, I would like for things to be simple."
"Oh see, now you ask for too much, darling."
Hal snorted, falling into Murtagh. He wrapped his arms around her shoulder, her arms around his waist, as they continued forward. "For now, I am inclined to do as Arya said and take it easy until we depart," Murtagh added, his tone shifting to one of casual lightheartedness in order to lift Hal's gloomy mood. "Two more days in the land of the elves. Surely there's something you want to see that we haven't yet."
Hal bit her lip, his words tempting. She felt obligated to fit in something more productive. She knew two days would come and go quickly and she suddenly realized it had been months since she practiced with her sword or arrows, and she had not been getting used to her magic either. Why she did not think of such things before now, she would never know. But…well, she didn't want to think she would never see Du Weldenvarden or Ellesméra again. However, she could not deny the allure of spending her remaining days here as she had in Carvahall: in peace. Creating strong, positive memories that would continue to drive her forward, even when she was faced with darkness.
"All right then, rider, you've convinced me. Where do we start?"
Murtagh took Arya's invitations very seriously. He seemed to find something for them to do every hour for the next two days, especially with Irindriel's help. They visited the Great Library of Alaëa, named for the birthplace of the elves before they migrated to Alagaësia. There, they observed pieces of art, literature, poetry, and more that have been created by elves and special guests over the centuries.
"This is one of our more recent pieces," Irindriel said, gesturing to a scroll stored in the archives. "Written by Eragon Shadeslayer himself during our Agaetí Blödhren, the Blood-Oath Celebration. It was quite good." He then quickly explained what the celebration was to them.
"Oh, that sounds wonderful," Hal breathed. "Would we be allowed to attend the next ceremony."
"Indeed, although I must preface the early invitation by adding that the next one won't be for another four-and-ninety years. It's a centennial celebration."
Hal's shoulders slumped. Of course it was.
The evening before they were due to leave, Hal found herself drifting aimlessly around the stream. She had told Murtagh that she simply needed the walk to clear her head before their sendoff dinner with Arya and the others. However, her disappointment when she found the waterfront to be quiet and empty suggested otherwise. She could not place why she felt so driven in this instance, but there was something she needed to do before they left.
She wandered around for far less time than she would have expected. Then again, upon inquiring from an elf nearby, Hal realized that a human wouldn't exactly go unnoticed in Ellesméra. After politely thanking the elf for the information, Hal followed the directions they'd given until she was standing in front of plain-looking door carved into the trunk of a tree as thick as Thorn. She could not help but noticed how it felt isolated from the more populated parts of the city, and there was something sad about how empty it felt around her.
Hal raised her fist and knocked quietly, suddenly anxious. When there wasn't an immediate response, she knocked again only for the door to fly open. Sloan stood there, looking more confused than irritated at her sudden appearance. But just as quickly, his eyes narrowed and he stepped back, closing the door a bit as if fearing she would lunge at him. "What is this? What are you doing here?"
"I know this might sound a bit mad, but it's my last night in the city and…and I needed to see you before I go."
"Why?"
Why indeed. Hal stared down at her feet, suddenly bashful. Sloan's expression softened, albeit begrudgingly, and he sighed before stepping back. "Come in. Besides, it's too cold for us to just be standing in the elements like this."
Somewhat relieved at the hospitable gesture, Hal quickly followed him inside, taking him up on his offer to hang her cloak. She glanced around at the small space, furnished with bare pieces of wooden furniture, like a dresser and the frame for the bed. Sloan gestured to the only chair in the room, and Hal sat down. There was a small pit for a fire situated in the center of the room, and he quietly put on a pot of water for tea. Perhaps, had she not known what she had about him, the space would've felt cozy. Just the right size for one person. But that wasn't the case at all, and the space only seemed to serve as a reminder for all the man didn't have.
The silence stretched on until Sloan handed Hal her cup of tea. "Ah, it might be a little bitter," he warned as she raised the drink to her mouth to blow on it. "It took me a while to get used to those particular leaves, but I find they have the best soothing effect of everything I've tried here."
It was, indeed, a somewhat bitter first sip. But Hal had certainly had worse, and the warmth that raced down her chest made her shiver with delight. Sloan watched her carefully, his drink sitting idle in his lap. "So why are you really here?"
Hal licked her lips, buying herself a few more seconds by reaching forward to set her cup down. She fixed her skirt, smoothing the material with her hands before clasping them together on top. When she finally looked up at him, she decided to speak quickly and freely. "Are you, by chance, related to Katrina Garrowsson?"
Sloan didn't react at first, staring at Hal with an almost blank expression. Then he blinked and suddenly his eyes were wet with unshed tears. But they disappeared just as quickly as they had come and he cleared his throat to hide any further evidence. "Aye. She is my daughter."
Hal sucked in a sharp breath. "And she thinks you're dead."
It wasn't a question, but perhaps part of Hal wondered if she'd misunderstood some part of her conversation with Katrina. But Sloan slowly nodded his head. "Aye." His voice was somber; Hal was surprised by how tight her chest felt as she watched him. He seemed so small and defeated. He noticed her expression and shook his head. "I don't deserve your sympathies, so do not give me such a pitying look. I told you, I accepted that I brought this fate upon myself. The fact that I was allowed to live in peace amongst the elves is more than I deserved. I thought for sure I would die. But that, I know now, would've been far too easy a punishment."
"May I ask what you did to receive such a sentence?"
He hesitated, glancing at her with a sudden look of anxiousness. "You're married to that dragon rider, correct? The one they once all talked about. They said he'd gone bad. Was beyond redemption."
"They did say that, yes," Hal stated, giving him a small smile. "And yes, I did marry him. Proudly."
She knew why he had asked. He seemed to accept this because he brought his knees up to his chest before he began to speak. In a low voice, he told Hal of his life in Carvahall when the soldiers first arrived, seeking out Roran after Eragon had fled and was wanted by the king. He detailed the Ra'zac, and the fear and panic they had caused, which led to the citizens of Carvahall fighting back. Much of this Hal knew from her conversations with Baldor and Albriech, but she listened intently, noticing the matter-of-fact way in which Sloan spoke. The same cadence she would use, when she was trying to keep her emotions in check and could only do so by shutting them off completely.
When he finished, he looked up at her expectantly. "There you have it. Eragon could've taken my life but instead chose to send me here. I at least got to look upon my daughter and granddaughter one last time too. I'm sure you think it's more than I deserve. But I'll have you know that while I may change what I did if I could, I would never change why I did it, even if the results were the same. I love Katrina. More than I've loved anyone, except of course her mother. If I thought for a moment that I could stain my hands with the blood of hundreds to spare her life, I would. Even if she resented me. Even if she never spoke to me again. I would rather choose isolation over her demise. Every time. No parent should have to bury their child. I will not apologize for being someone who refused to do so."
Hal said nothing at first, rather surprised by his final statements than she was by the story itself. At first, she could not fathom a response that seemed appropriate or acceptable. She did understand why Sloan was here and could not necessarily say she believed his punishment to be unjust. But she kept seeing Katrina's face when she mentioned that she had no blood family left and Hal felt that sharp pang of her own loneliness reaching out for her. She loved Murtagh and Thorn, and the Tenari people with her whole heart. But they could never replace what she had lost thirteen years ago.
"You have a grandson now too," Hal stated, finding her words. Sloan's face went slack and Hal could not help but smile. "Ro. Short for Roran, I presume."
Sloan was quick to shake his head, his cheeks red and flushed, a barely hidden elation softening his features considerably. "No. I know Roran. Ro is short for Garrow. Ismira, Katrina's late mother, and Garrow, Roran's late father."
Stunned, Hal could only mutter, "Oh." She felt guilty for not having known this.
Sloan sniffed, taking a big gulp of his tea, his cup so high that it covered part of his face, and Hal politely looked away as he reached up to wipe his eyes and cheeks. When he cleared his throat again, she turned back as if she'd been merely admiring the structure of the room. "How old is the boy?"
"He's not quite a year, but he has already mastered walking, much to his parents' chagrin. He is a happy baby, that much is certain."
"So, you met him? Saw him?"
"I did. In fact, Murtagh and I were staying with them right before we came here. You see, Roran and Murtagh are actually cousins. Selena, Roran's aunt and Garrow's sister, was Murtagh and Eragon's mother."
Now Sloan appeared temporarily shocked, silent as he processed the lineage before he then muttered his own, "Ah, I see."
Hal took a sip of her tea, which was already starting to become chilled. Not wanting to waste it, she took a larger gulp to finish it off quicker before it became completely unbearable. "Katrina is lovely," she added in a lower voice. "It is not the connection anyone wants, but I too know the heartache of being alone in the world, just as she does. Roran takes good care of her, adores her completely. I knew as much even before seeing it for myself. But I know Katrina misses you. I could see it in her eyes when she spoke of you."
"Why do you tell me these things?!" Sloan was suddenly on his feet, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Do you mean to torment me? Is that it?"
"N-n-no, of course not. I just thought —"
"You thought a pathetic man such as myself would at least rather know of the life he has lost than to remain ignorant?"
"I'm sorry," Hal said quickly. "I meant no offense, honest. I just…I felt…I just…" She hated herself for it, but she felt her eyes begin to burn. Sloan looked startled as she quickly tried to wipe her face, his outburst tempered at the sight of her tears.
"No, I'm sorry." His voice and head were both low. "I shouldn't have lost my temper like that. You did not deserve it. Please forgive a stupid old man." He walked over to his dresser, returning with a small handkerchief for Hal, which she graciously accepted.
"It's all right. I told you, I married a man people once believed 'beyond redemption.' I've dealt with worse." She gave him an encouraging smile as she wiped her face, but he didn't return it.
Sitting back down on the floor, he looked exhausted. The shadows under his eyes…Hal could only imagine the memories that haunted him. "I have accepted why I'm here. I have accepted the choices I made that brought me here. But it will never get easy, knowing my child will live on without me. That I will not get to see or know my grandchildren. That my fear for her safety was so strong that she will probably have no happy memories of me to share with them. I am grateful to you for telling me about my grandson. I…" His voice caught and Hal felt her eyes tearing up with his. "I know he will be a good boy. I trust the daughter I raised, even if I didn't always act like it. But you reminded me of what I have lost. And that is a bitter root to swallow."
The silence that followed stretched on, both Hal and Sloan lost in their own memories. "You remind me of my husband, you know," Hal told him. Sloan's brows rose and she chuckled. "You do, it's true."
"I don't know if I should be alarmed or flattered."
She snorted. "Honestly, maybe both."
He cracked a smile, looking away quickly when Hal caught it. "Well, I doubt it is my rugged good looks. So, tell me: how do I remind you of your husband?"
Hal's eyes wandered a bit, her demeanor relaxing. "He felt as you once did. He spoke of isolation, grief, rage, regret. I'm sure you can imagine what a former servant of Galbatorix would feel. Despite being forced against his will, Murtagh will carry scars and burdens that I could never truly know. I can only listen and do what he asks of me when he needs my help, and love him unconditionally through it all. But I cannot change his past. I cannot rid him of his scars and how he got them. All I can do is hope that I can continue to keep him in the light and by my side, for as long as the heavens allow us. He is my peace of mind, and I know that I am his. And if I believe him worthy of such things, then I hope one day you find yours. I do not think it is too late, unless you simply do not want it. But I hope, I truly hope, that you find what you're looking for."
Before she could lose her nerve, Hal reached into her bag and pulled out the fairth she had made earlier in the day, when she had begun to connect the dots on just exactly who Sloan might've been. She handed it to him and the man gingerly unwrapped it before his let out a gasp, his hand flying to his mouth.
Hal had focused intensely on the image of Ismira and Ro, their faces as familiar as if they were standing right before them. "Your grandchildren are beautiful and they are loved. I can't guarantee that I did my spell correctly, but if I did, this fairth will grow and change as they do. You may not be able to see them with your own eyes, but you will still see them here. I don't expect this to be a permanent fix, but I hope, for you, it is something."
He was blinking rapidly, as though he could not keep up with what Hal was saying. He kept trying to focus on her but his eyes kept drifting back to the stone slab, his lower lip trembling with emotion. "I don't…I don't understand…"
"I once told Murtagh to channel his energy into doing something good. He did. And he did it again and again and again. It was hard, and it did not necessarily mean he would be forgiven or excused for his past crimes. But in doing for others, he learned firsthand how to forgive and love himself, so that he could receive love in return. I want that for you, Sloan. Hopefully one day. Until then, please know that I will also look after Katrina and those children as if they were my kin. They graciously showed me kindness when I needed it most." Then, as a final thought she added, "You raised a darling child, Sloan. You should be very proud."
She bowed her head, the man now sobbing as he hugged the fairth to his chest. Hal left quietly to give him space. Her hands were shaking as she walked away, wrapping her cloak around her as she sped through the woods, her heart racing and her emotions high. A small smile made its way across her face. She could not offer Sloan forgiveness, as it was not hers to give. However, it had felt right, the fairth, as well as her promise to take care of Katrina and the children. She would, to the best of her abilities.
And that would start only when she finally faced Thea for the last time.