February 18th 2023

Chapter 197
The Very Merry Merry

"So, what are we feeling here? Snowmen? Reindeer? String lights? Or the classic… Elves?" Lucas presented each pair of baby clothes, not to Maya – who would be best placed to voice an opinion – but to their youngest sons, who would soon be dressed in the chosen outfits. "We can always mix and match, I'm sure there are some people coming today who would appreciate a more convenient way to tell you two apart." The boys just stared back at his face, tilted into their line of sight, their little hands reaching out for the things he had dangling before them. "You're right, it's a big choice. You take your time."

"Are you sure about that one?" Maya snickered.

"Your mama's got a point," he conceded. "Your grandparents are expecting us, and they'll be so happy to see you both, whatever you have on, won't they?" He stood back up straight, finally leaving the choice up to Maya. She pointed to one of the snowman suits and one of the reindeer before holding out her hand. They would each dress one of the boys, faster that way.

It was Christmas Eve morning, and the Friars were frankly very thankful not to be hosting, especially the last few nights, where their Hug-a-bears could only be said to have been determined to keep the entire house from getting a full night's rest. Much as they kept to their schedules in the daytime, the nighttime was a whole other story. It was enough that, the night before last, they had sent the boys from their shared room down to the basement for a sleepover with their sister, hoping, with any luck, that they'd have a better chance there. It had been better, yes, just barely, but still far from perfect.

Wanting to give them a chance of having a more rested Christmas Eve and Day, they'd sent out feelers and, very fortunately so, Ava, Elliott, Noah, and Jamie had been welcomed to spend the night out at the Farrell House, with Kelsey and Max Farrell, and Max and Rosie McAllister. This had left Maya and Lucas alone with the babies, doing all they could to help them have a better night, too. They kept the two of them together as much as possible, as this was generally the way of getting in their good graces. Was it a success? Well, they wouldn't call it a failure, that was for sure. There had definitely been more sleep than not, though still with stretches of full wakefulness here and there. Maya and Lucas had at the very least managed to alternate getting some sleep while one of them saw to the boys, which was something. Plus, they were far from their first turn at sleepless babes, even with the added difficulty level of two for the price of one, and they knew there could be something good to be gained from this: a loopy feeling suited them so well and led to very silly conversations. What better way to head into the holidays proper?

Now that they had their littlest ones set for their very first holiday morning, it was high time to go and collect the rest of their mad bunch. They'd promised to go and get them early, and they kept their promises. To look at them all in the window, their four and their friends, they were not nearly early enough. Sure, they had been having a great time at the Farrell house, but it was a very important day and they had places to be!

"Hi, guys! Did you miss us that much?" Maya asked, laughing as she did her very best not to lose her balance completely under the press of three small boys hugging at her legs.

"I think they thought we'd be late and there wouldn't be any food left," Ava revealed as she approached, Kelsey by her side.

"Hey!" Maya opened her arm to pull her girl into this hug. Ava went gladly.

"Where's Daddy?" Noah asked.

"Outside, with the babies," Maya explained. "We couldn't just leave them back there on their own, could we?"

That was all they needed to hear to finally get set to leave, give their thanks and goodbyes to the Farrells, and move to the minivan. This gave way to more greetings and more hugs as the quartet was reunited first with Lucas and then with Simon and Jackson.

"Hi, babies!" Jamie bent to them both with a quick peck that only briefly disturbed them before they seemed to realize this was one of their brothers and they were okay.

"You got more sleep, I hope?" Lucas asked Ava when she came sprinting out and jumped to hug him. He caught her with ease and held her until he felt her release and then he set her back on her feet.

"Yeah," she nodded, and the immediate impression he got was that she was withholding. She was never so brief, especially at a time like this. She should have been telling him all about what they'd done, or asking about what was coming up first.

"Yeah?" he echoed her response with an inviting smile. She could tell him what was going on but she was in no way obligated.

"Does it have to be now?" she quietly asked him.

"No, definitely not," he shook his head. "All I want to know now is that you're good." She gave an uncertain shrug, and he cradled the back of her head, pressed a kiss to the top of her curls. He felt her briefly lean to him again, and then they split off, getting into their seats so they could continue on toward the Hunter Hart house. As Lucas turned the radio on, filling the space with some extra Christmas cheer for the ride, caught his gaze with unspoken questions. He caught her up as quickly as he could, in sign.

They didn't have to work hard in order to give Ava a chance to talk with Lucas on her own for a few minutes once they got to the Hunter Hart house. Everyone was so happy and eager to see the babies and the boys, and the feeling went both ways, so when Ava turned to him, Lucas quietly guided her to the basement. It had been a long time since this had been Maya's room, but he still remembered when it had been that and, just now, it felt appropriate that they come here. They sat together in the steps.

"Did something happen back at Kelsey's?" Lucas asked, tipping his head to try and meet her gaze.

"Not…" Ava started, then paused and frowned like she was searching for the right words. "It wasn't anything big, I just sort of…" she started again, then sighed and spoke on. "Kelsey and her dad are really great together, you know? And it's Christmas Eve, so they have these traditions, him and her, and her mom and her brother, too. But we were all there this morning, so they included us, which was nice, but it also kind of… It made me think about my father, and where he is today… wherever that is… We had a thing, too, me and him, guess it's like a tradition, but it only happened if we somehow got up before my mother did, and that wasn't every year. I just hate that he's not going to be there, and I thought… maybe he'd remember, maybe he'd send me something or… or he'd just come and see me…"

Her voice trailed off, and though she tried not to, her hand absently reached up to brush at the corners of her eyes. Lucas gently put his arm around her and she leaned to him, hugged him tight, so he closed both arms about her now, giving her the very best he could of dad hugs. Ava wanted to hope for some kind of Christmas miracle, but there was too much of a realist in her, and she didn't want to let herself sink too deep into this idea, knowing how badly it would hurt if it fell apart… It already felt kind of terrible as it was. And Lucas wished very much that he could raise her hopes, but he had nothing to give for it, did he? There'd been no word, not a single peep out of Bill Nash, and any contact they'd had with his attorney was the same. Plus, for what they knew of Ava's father, what they understood of him and the choices he'd made… He would not return. He might want to, but he wouldn't do it, not when he felt that his daughter was better off making a clean break of him, better off becoming part of her new family. Lucas didn't take that responsibility lightly, nor did Maya.

"You know you don't have to overdo it today, or tomorrow either," Lucas told Ava. "You don't have to pretend like you're happy if you're not. You just feel whatever you need to feel."

"I know," Ava told him, sniffling before turning her face up to look at him, a small smile across her face. "I'm really glad I'm back here with you guys again," she told him, and he smiled back before leaning to press a kiss at her forehead. "I think I'm ready for Christmas now."

"Good, then let's go for it."

They couldn't miss the slight lack of color to Ava's mood that day, or most of them couldn't, mostly the adults. The children saw what they thought they saw, which was Ava running around and playing with the rest of them as they did whatever they felt like doing. Everyone else saw the thing that was hanging over her head the whole time, like an obscuring cloud blocking the sun's light. They could roughly guess what the cause of it was without being told, which was good, as Lucas wouldn't have felt right about unloading Ava's tale for any of them except Maya, naturally.

Oh, how he felt her Big Mom Feelings spinning around all day, whether Ava was in the room or not. She had plenty to focus on, knowing Elliott, Noah, and Jamie would be in such a festive state as to possibly guarantee that at least one of them would fall or bang his head or something, and of course having Simon and Jackson to think about, too. That went whether or not she even got to hold the baby boys, which didn't happen so often, what with the number of people there in attendance who wanted a piece of Hug-a-bears cuddling.

"Are you fellas good and tired tonight? Think you'll get a good night's sleep? Maybe? A little bit?" Maya asked as she and Lucas set the twins side by side in the crib, finally home again.

The two of them ended up being the last ones to land in their bed, as far as they and their siblings went, and this because the rest of the bunch had fallen asleep either before or on the ride home. They'd been brought into the house in their seats, after which the job became to carry the other four children up or down to their rooms once they'd been taken from their seats and into the house. Maya got Noah and Jamie in and up to their room, but she left the getting them changed into their PJs part up to Lucas as he brought in Elliott, while she went down to the basement, where he would have already carried Ava. She set herself to getting her changed for bed, which was only made difficult in that, as she slept, she met almost any intervention with either the impulse to lie back down or to lean further in, the better to curl up against the one she felt near her. How was she supposed to move her when she did that? But, finally, with much resolve, she'd managed it, and she'd gotten Ava settled into bed without waking her.

"I'm so glad I get to be your mom…" she'd whispered, as the thought had come to her. It was the truth, but she didn't know that it had hit her as deeply as it had done in that moment. She'd get those moments with the boys, especially whenever she'd be hit with how they were growing up, or after a birth, as the siblings came together and began bonding all over again… With Ava, it was just something else, wasn't it? As completely unexpected as it had been for Maya and Lucas both to find themselves expecting their first child back in college, their finding themselves with a daughter twice their eldest's age overnight was even more so. But there was no denying her place in their family now, and the proof of it was in their hearts.

Simon and Jackson Friar slept very well that night, all things considered. There were the regularly expected feedings, yes, some diaper changes, too, and they didn't fall right to sleep when that was all done with, but beyond that, after the nights they'd been having recently, this one had been perfect. Whether the merit went solely to this or in equal parts with it being Christmas morning, Maya and Lucas were startled awake one after the other by the sound of three small boys running up the hall and toward the stairs, laughing and squealing. The babies were also awakened, and had plenty to say on what they felt about that greeting, which delayed their parents' ability to go down and see what their brothers were up to. By the time they made it, they understood, and they could just about forgive the chaotic start to their day: they'd gone to collect their sister from her room in the basement and were now emerging again, the better to lead Ava into the living room.

That morning was so far from what they had expected it would be until not too long ago. They'd known there would be the twins, sure, and though in a different capacity, they had pictured Ava being involved in their Christmas, just not like this… so far from this. They had not foreseen Big Sister Ava, but that was just what she was that day, and she'd known it as well as they did, if not more. Though all the presents were pitched as being from Santa's sleigh, the informed few in the room knew that each of the boys, from Elliott down to the twins, had one gift each that had been selected and purchased by Ava.

The day she'd gone shopping with Melinda Friar for her family portrait outfit, she'd come home with a dress, yes, and she was so deeply satisfied with that choice, but she still looked like she'd halfway forgotten the original reason for her trip to the mall. Neither Maya nor Lucas realized why this was at first, this primarily due to the fact that they'd written off the bags carried in by Melinda as being her own shopping from the day. Instead, she was acting as a sort of distraction, to sneak Ava's purchases inside without the boys noticing anything. The girl had paid for everything herself, out of her savings, the money that was hers to do with as she pleased, from making segments that had gone on to air on television alongside Lucas. She'd eventually labored to wrap everything herself and, on that Christmas morning, she'd watched with a glimmering smile as Elliott, Noah, and Jamie opened their own presents and loved them, and as Lucas and Maya each opened the twins' gifts for Simon and Jackson. They were still very little, so it was hard to decide what they felt about it, but they seemed contented, and that was good enough.

"Wait, this one's for you," Ava moved to tug one of the presents out from under the tree and bring it to Maya.

"It is?" she grinned. Neither she nor Lucas had seen what Ava had gotten the boys until that morning, and as for this present, she'd hidden it so far in the back under the tree that they hadn't even known that it was there. And to see their girl stepping up to her new mother with such a great big smile on her face… If Maya hadn't felt so bound to her already, this would have been the tipping point, and her eyes shone with tears she tried not to let spill.

"Yeah," Ava nodded before leaning in to whisper. "There's a card, too, but it can wait until later, okay?"

"Okay," Maya whispered back before motioning to her gift. May I? Ava nodded again, so Maya set herself to unwrapping.

The shape of the box had been completely misleading, though they could imagine that had been its purpose. Inside, Maya found something rolled up and bound, underneath a sealed envelope that had to be the previously mentioned card. As would be explained in that card, the roll had been produced because, in Ava's mind, it would be a far more mysterious and personal way to present Maya with the drawing she'd done. She'd known that she wanted her present to be something art related, and so she'd set herself to this project. Was she the best artist in the world? Maybe not, but she'd worked very hard on her drawing of her new house, and as far as Maya and Lucas were concerned, it was the most beautiful rendering that could ever be. What made it better was that it had not been bound with simple twine, or a ribbon, or an elastic, but instead a bracelet, colorful string knotted together in a pattern, of which there was a twin, on Ava's wrist even as it was received.

They're not friendship bracelets, they're better. You have one, and I have one, and I'm going to wear mine all the time. You don't have to wear yours all the time if you don't want to, really. But I know you'll have it, and we'll know what they mean. They mean that we're family. You're my mom and I've been waiting for you for all my life. I never had a Mommy… a Mama… I kind of like Mama better, don't you? It rhymes with your name. I love you, Mama. Merry Christmas, from Ava.

"Daddy, there's one for you, too!" Noah's voice emerged from under the tree, even as Maya was giving Ava's hand a squeeze after receiving her drawing from 'Santa.' They all looked to see him scooting his way back out the way he'd come, dragging another box along. It figured that he would have followed his curiosity out there to see what else Santa had hidden.

"Be careful, Bee," Lucas got up to go and watch him, especially if he inadvertently knocked anything off the tree.

Noah made it out alright, as did the hidden gift. Ava showed great restraint in not moving to intercept, though it was clear that she wanted to. They had to figure that she knew that Lucas would know very well who this gift was from, and that was what truly mattered.

"Wow, can't wait to see what it is," Lucas played up for the boys even as he snuck a smile to Ava, who looked as proud as she looked anxious. He sat down next to her, where she already sat at Maya's side, so he could unwrap his present. There was an envelope inside here, too, another card to be saved for later. And underneath it, there was a wooden plaque, painted over and bordered with delicate vines and flowers as, over its middle, words had been traced, but not just any words… a poem, a song, they couldn't say for certain. All that felt certain at once, even before reading what it said, was that this was Ava's own composition.

"I think it would look nice in your office," Ava commented 'innocently' and Lucas looked down at her, struggling as Maya had done not to start and cry. All he could do just then was dip his head and mouth a quiet 'thank you' she would understand.

They would have a long and hectic day, as they'd done the day before already, but there'd be no forgetting the morning and how it had started… or the fact that they weren't done with it yet. They still had cards to read, and they finally did so, after everyone had been put to bed. They were already emotionally unprepared for Mama, which made Maya's heart feel overlarge for her chest and her arms yearn to close around her Sweetpea.

"You're up, Friar," she tapped Lucas' arm even as he made her laugh, handing her a tissue. She needed it, and if this kept up, so would he.

"You're going to make jokes if I cry, huh?" Lucas smiled, looking at the envelope as he grasped it.

"I might, for something else, but I think I'll be good with this one," Maya promised him. She could sense he was nervous, that he knew already this would be a big one, and he was feeling big Dad feelings.

He'd had a thought, earlier, when he'd unwrapped the present, that it had been unstuck and restuck, and when he opened the envelope, he came upon a theory, like perhaps the card he held now was not the same one as the one originally packed inside the box with her gift. He was sure now that, at some point before that morning, Ava had made a new card, dug her present out from its hiding place, carefully undid the paper, swapped the cards, and put everything back again. Something had made her want to say something else, and here it was.

I think that I got it wrong before. I thought that I had to let go before I could hang on again, but I don't. I love my father even if he went away. I know he had to go and he loves me, too, so that's why he left me with you. He wanted me to be happy and I really, really am. I have Mama, and I have all these little brothers I love, no matter if they make a mess or cry a lot sometimes. And I have you. You were the first one I wanted to reach out to, but I got scared. My father was going through so much and I thought that it would make it worse for him if he knew.

Now I think he knew what he was doing when he went away. I think he wanted to give me a chance to see the truth. He's far from me, but we're still connected. And you're here with me, and we have that connection, too, don't we? So it doesn't have to be one or the other. It can be both. I want it to be, and it is.

The text stopped there, and as caught up in reading it as they both were, him holding the card and her leaning to his side, they felt those big feelings, and they paused all at once, sitting up, like there should have been more. There was, just not on paper, as a creak of the floor boards made them look up and find Ava, stood in the doorway and watching them. Now that they'd looked up, she came forward, closing her arms around Lucas, who returned the hug instantly.

"Merry Christmas, Dad," she whispered, and they were all the words he could have wanted to close that card. She would write them in later. Just then, he would hold to her, his girl, showing how much it meant to him that he could be this person for her.

"Merry Christmas, Sweetpea."

TO BE CONTINUED

See you tomorrow! - mooners