March 11th 2023

Chapter 200
Candles For Mama

Every once in a while, it would genuinely feel as though she did not know her own age. Maybe not that she didn't know it, no, but it just… it didn't make sense. She was twenty-one years old, and she was married, had a child. She was twenty-two, with a husband and two children. She was twenty-four years old, and she and her husband had just welcomed their third baby boy. She was twenty-six and she was starting off her career as a middle school art teacher while also co-running a bakery with her aunt, and she and her husband became family and parents to an eleven-year-old girl shortly before seeing their fourth and fifth sons into the world…

She woke up on this morning and it hit her all over again. She had just turned twenty-seven years old, and she was mother to six amazing children… Once upon a time, the first time she'd stared at a stick test and faced the fact that she was going to be a mother, she'd felt like for sure her whole life was going to change, that it would never get to be what she'd imagined it to be, what she'd wanted it to be. And maybe that was true, yes, but… Oh, but looking at it now, from where she stood, freshly twenty-seven, her life was nothing like what she'd imagined it would be on that day, in a bathroom in Houston, Halloween night. It was so much better than that. So much of it came down to those six children; so much of it came down to the man asleep at her side, holding her near, her big spoon through thick and thin.

Maya slowly worked to turn herself around until she could look at his face. His life had been changed just as hers had done, and she knew he wouldn't let an inch of it change either. She reached up her hand, lightly brushed her fingers at his face. Mornings like these, the strange reflection mornings, they would so often serve to let her contemplate him, too. This beautiful man, inside and out, who loved her and made her life better every day for being in it, who had given her five of those wonderful children, all six of them, in some way… She could not even imagine what her life would have been like if she'd never moved to Austin, if she'd never met him, and she didn't want to imagine it.

When he started to wake, she knew it from the way his face moved to stay with her hand before it could let go completely. She chuckled, re-established contact and continued letting her fingers trace at his skin. Finally, he opened his eyes, and her smile brought one on to him.

"Good morning," she whispered.

"Happy birthday," he whispered back, leaning nearer to kiss her. She met him halfway, let the embrace linger this way for a few seconds, then gladly saw it expand into something much more pronounced. They both allowed themselves to continue down this path for a minute or two before slowing to a stop and opening their eyes to look at one another again.

"You know, I'm pretty sure it was a morning like this that got us Noah right after we had Elliott," Maya reflected, and Lucas quietly laughed, 'regrettably' letting go of whatever they might have ended up doing before they'd stopped.

"One of these days, we are going to have to have that conversation, aren't we?" he asked.

"Oh, just what conversation would that be?" she asked, as though she didn't know. "Right, the chop-chop conversation," she slowly nodded.

"Do we have to call it that?" Lucas landed somewhere between a cringe and a laugh.

"Why, nervous?" she smirked. Before either of them could say anything else, the twins began to cry, so soon one after the other that it could not be certain which one of them had started first or if they'd actually gone at the exact same moment. Without missing a beat, Maya and Lucas both got up, walked to the crib, and each grabbed the baby nearest to them. "Good morning… hello…" Maya addressed her little Nugget of a boy, in her sweetest voice, the one reserved for infant sons and distressed toddlers. "Did all that talk frighten you? It's alright," she promised both Simon and his twin, as Jackson clearly caught on to her voice, too, back in his father's arms.

"Traumatizing a couple of babies," Lucas mock admonished, shaking his head.

"And a grown man, too, apparently," Maya challenged, eyebrow arched.

"Maybe the grown man isn't ready to talk about that just yet," Lucas conceded. "Not that… he won't do what needs to be done, because he would never want to submit any… grown woman to anything she didn't want to be submitted to… anymore," he went on, frowning as he had to stop and consider whether the analogy still stood.

Maya smiled and shrugged. She understood just fine. No matter what he thought, if she was done being pregnant, he would do what he needed to do so that she wouldn't be and the two of them could just carry on with their lives, never having to think that it might happen again. That was all good and fine, and she'd known that would be so, but… well, it was a big decision. They both looked at each other, asking without asking whether they were ready to have that conversation now or if they could still wait. The baby boys in their arms just now were barely two months old. This could wait, but then it was like she'd said, wasn't it? They hadn't considered the possibility that all it would take would be one time together and they could end up with another baby before Simon and Jackson managed to have their very first birthday cakes. That was how they'd ended up with baby number two and that had already caused their lives to change so much. What would a sixth baby and a seventh child do to them now?

"I mean…" Maya started, letting out a sigh as she carried Simon back to the bed and sat with him. "It's kind of hard to think about more babies when we've got these two little guys keeping us all on our toes as it is," she pointed out, smiling down at the babe so focused on her. "Because if anyone asked me right now if I was up for that, well… how am I supposed to know that?"

"I don't know either," Lucas confessed, joining her. "And I'm not even the one having to carry them."

"You totally would if you could, wouldn't you?" Maya smirked, especially at the way he chuckled. After a few moments of their just sitting together, each with one of their small sons in their arms, peaceful and sweet, the answer didn't feel any easier to grasp. But then again…

"We don't have to… I mean you wouldn't have to. If it's more children we wanted…" he trailed off, and even without him saying or doing anything for it, she knew he was thinking of Ava, and she smiled.

"I like the way you think, Huckleberry," she told him, and he looked at her, mirrored her smile. "Look… Maybe it's better if we don't make any big life decisions just now. We can just sort of bench the subject for now and, until we come back to it, we'll just need to be… a bit more careful about when or if we decide to…"

"Connect?" Lucas offered, and her laughter startled Simon and made him cry, which started Jackson along with him, bringing their parents' attention onto them, to calm them again.

If they hadn't been awake before, the rest of the boys were surely awake now, and probably Ava as well, down in her room. And within minutes, this theory was proven correct, as they heard feet moving past their closed door, then on the steps, and then hushed voices. As best they could figure, the boys had been on their way to go find Ava in her room even as she'd already been coming up, so they'd all stopped at the top of the stairs to figure out what they'd do next.

"I can plug my ears and hum to myself if it helps," Maya whispered to Lucas, and he laughed quietly.

The steps were heard retreating back down the hall, to the boys, room. A few minutes went by, in which they busied themselves seeing to the twins before they finally heard a knock at the door.

"Hello?" came an unsure Elliott's voice, like maybe they weren't up after all. Maya gestured to Lucas, hands free now that the boys were back in their crib, in a clear 'ooh, let me, let me!' giddiness that made him smirk and wave to the door. By all means, it's your birthday… So, she pressed her hands together and went up to turn and pull the knob. "Mommy!" Elliott gasped in surprise before stepping forward to hug around her.

Maya hugged him back, her Sprout, her very first baby boy. If her own age had a way of startling her at times, in contrast to her life, his age… He would be six years old before they knew it, in the first grade by fall… If she kept thinking about all that, she'd start crying, and then he'd really be confused.

"Good morning, Ell," she told him, brushing at his hair. He turned his face up to her, a reflection of his father in so many ways. He opened his mouth to say something, but then paused, eyes widening like he'd almost made a mistake. He shook his head to himself and instead took hold of her hand.

"Come with me," he asked, and she followed before he could start and pull her along, which he definitely would have done. Maya looked back to see that Lucas had picked up the twins, one in each arm, and was now following them.

Down the hall they went, and the door was closed here, too. Once again, Elliott set to knocking for entry, and there was no need to announce himself this time, though he did turn to make sure his mother would stand right behind him as the door was opened. She did stand behind him, and so she got to see several things. For one, though the Star Wars theme still was the first thing they'd see, walking in there, today there were several balloons obscuring some of it, along with a giant drawing, hung up like a sign or a painting. She could recognize the collaborative work done on it, as she would often see it, because her kiddos loved to draw together. Speaking of those kiddos, the three of them hidden and waiting to greet her in the room stood there with hats on their heads, a fourth one extended to Elliott as he ran to join them, the better for them to give their very best 'controlled' outcry of 'Happy Birthday!' to their mother without making the babies start to cry again.

"Thank you!" Maya told them as they ran to pile on and embrace her, guaranteeing that if the babies didn't cry, she definitely would. She had Jamie at one leg, Noah at the other, Elliott at one side and Ava at the other, and each of them got a good kiss of gratitude and love from their birthday mom.

"The hats!" Jamie bolted at once to retrieve a small stack he held up to his mother.

"Oh, we get some, too, huh?" she asked, and the two-year-old nodded.

There were two bigger ones and, to her amusement, two very little ones for the babies. Would either of those have a shot at staying on either of those heads very long? No, probably not, but it was the intention that counted, and to Maya it counted very much. She and Lucas got their own hats placed on their heads by Ava, as the boys tried to put the little hats on their baby brothers. It went about as well as their parents expected it to go, but they didn't worry too much over it.

"Alright, now what?" Maya asked the children, knowing better than to assume that there wasn't a very detailed plan, or that she had much of a say in what would happen throughout the day. She could only follow, and she was ready for all of it.

The next stop turned out to be the senior Friars' small house, where they somehow managed to sit, all ten together around a table together for a birthday breakfast worthy of the little Friars' dear mother. Would that it had been a day earlier, a Sunday, they could have taken all the time in the world for this meal, but it was Monday, so before long they had to go and see to the school and work bound half of the family. Today, it was very important to all the kids that they got to spend as much time with their mother as possible, so it would be all of them heading out together for drop-offs.

"Alright, let's go, Bee," Maya held out her arms and pulled Noah from the back of the minivan and set him on his feet. The rest of them would stay there while she walked him inside.

Oh, he was so happy, and he hopped as high as he could go the whole way while still holding to his mother's hand, until Maya could barely keep from laughing. She understood so much of that energy in him, and she never wanted to hold it back. Sure, his more accident-prone tendencies, like that fall on the morning of his third birthday, were definitely not Maya's favorites, but she could cope… mostly… The older he got, they would see that he did understand, to a point, and it wouldn't be as much of an issue as it used to be… mostly.

"Mommy, come here," Noah waved for her to crouch to his level, so she did, and at once, she was caught up in a very big hug.

"Oh, hey, easy!" she laughed. She could breathe, but she could do with more air, for sure.

"I have to give you a big, big hug," Noah reasoned.

"So that it lasts me until you come home again?" Maya guessed, and he nodded with a grin. "Alright, that makes sense," she agreed. He thought so as well. "Better get a bit more while I can then." Noah agreed.

As they continued on to the elementary school, they had to think about how, come the new school year, they would have all three of the school kids in one place. They had a whole other year before Jamie would head into preschool, as he wouldn't even be three years old by the start of the coming year, and so would remain where he was now, being looked after by his grandparents… or his mother, while she was still on maternity leave, and that wouldn't last much longer. The plan was for her to go back in late March, for the last three months of the current year. She would have missed a bit chunk of it, but she would have started and ended with them, and as for the part she'd missed in between, well, she'd done her best to keep in touch, thanks to her substitute and her 'connections' in her various classes.

"I swear, he's gotten so much taller in half a school year," Maya breathed as Elliott went off with Max and Max, leaving her alone with Ava, to be escorted off to her part of the school next. They walked hand in hand, mother and daughter, and Maya knew that, for as much as it meant to her, it also meant a great, great deal to Ava, too. Even as she'd hold her hand, she'd lean until her head was almost resting against her shoulder a lot of the time.

"I think so, too," Ava commented.

"You know, this is all Lucas' fault," Maya whispered in confidence, and Ava chuckled. "I'm serious. Him and his words." Ava looked like she didn't understand, and Maya smirked. "Oh, we never told you about all that, huh?"

"All that what?"

"Oh," Maya laughed excitedly. "See, back when I was pregnant with Noah, we got to talking about what we would do after him, how many more kids we might have… That conversation comes up a lot more often than you'd think," she reflected briefly before getting back on topic. "Well, he had to go and say something like 'oh, you don't want seven tall sons?' And it was kind of funny back then, because we had the one boy, and it turned out we got a second one… and then a third, and now we've got five whole sons, and I can't speak much for the two littlest ones yet, but if you ask me, the other three are all getting a bit taller than average. The way they're going and how their doctor is talking, they'll all be as tall as their father if not taller."

"Is that a bad thing?" Ava asked, uncertain.

"Oh, no, not bad, no, just… Well, you know…" she gestured to indicate her own height and where it stood, which was without a doubt on the shorter end. It made Ava giggle.

"Are you going to have more babies then?" she asked.

"That… That's a very popular question today," Maya hummed. "Let's call it 'to be determined.' Five sons, that's already… It's good," she estimated.

"Well, even if you do end up with seven…" Ava started, and Maya gave her best 'don't say it, you'll jinx us' signal, so she pressed her lips together to stall the words. "There's something else you've got," she went on instead.

"Yeah? What's that?"

"One short daughter," she proudly declared, and it made Maya laugh and lean to kiss the top of her head.

"Thank you, Sweetpea."

"Love you, Mama," Ava replied, and Maya had to stop walking and properly hug her for that one.

"I love you, too. So much…"

Jamie was mildly concerned when his mother returned to the minivan and he saw that she was crying, but she promised him that they were good tears, so all was well. They went on to the office, to drop off Lucas, and then it was just Maya, Jamie, Simon, and Jack. When she asked Jamie where he wanted to go, all the little blonde would say was that she had to decide, because it was her day. It had all the makings of 'I've been told there is a plan, I just don't know the details,' so she didn't argue. She could guess at least that, whatever plans there were, they wouldn't come into play until everyone was home again, so she didn't think too much on it. She decided to take them back home, where they would have more freedom to go about whatever they chose to do, whether or not she was one adult looking after a toddler and two babies.

Anyway, it was what she wanted to do. She wanted to spend her birthday making memories with her little guys. She got to sit and watch Jamie as he stood in fascination of the Food Network, as he would, while she alternated holding one twin or the other. She couldn't get enough of how happy it made him to watch food being prepared, and the older he got, she knew he was starting to learn things, to remember. There was no telling whether this would be something that stayed with him, inspired by how much of a place it held in their lives thanks to the bakery, or if it would just be a quirk of his early years they would look back on and smile about in later years. Right now, he was in his happy place, and they would keep him that way as long as they could.

By the time afternoon was drawing on and the others were getting closer and closer to returning, Maya could tell that Jamie was eager for that to happen and for whatever they'd be doing to happen. She knew that they'd been cooking something up. It might have gone without saying that they would do something, but she'd seen it, all the silly attempts to keep her in the dark… She'd particularly seen Ava's new journal, where she practiced her letters. She was still learning, but somewhere in there, Maya was sure, were the family's schemes for her birthday. She would never go and sneak a look, no, never, but it was still fun to make them think that she might.

She wouldn't look. For all she'd go and mess with them, she wanted the surprises. They made her feel so loved, just waiting to see what they had cooked up. Her life was not what she had envisioned, years ago before that one Halloween night or after it either, but if either of those versions of herself could stand in this house, on this day, and feel her anticipation as she waited for her husband and their children to spring what surprises they had in store for her… She didn't know how either of those girls wouldn't want to be in her place today.

TO BE CONTINUED

See you tomorrow! - mooners