Loss, With No Love Lost.

The next morning Flint was up early to do some work from home, then he headed out to be at Newark Airport for the time that the flight from Tokyo was scheduled to arrive. He made the journey with a heavy heart, as he knew that the news that he had to impart would kill the happy mood that his friend was likely to be in. As a result of good connections, he found himself at the airport well before the flight was due, and he took a seat in the arrivals hall. He checked the monitors and discovered that the flight was actually running half an hour ahead of schedule; he was glad then he had arrived in good time, as the last thing he wanted to do was miss his friend. The fact was that Flint had no idea how Beats would react to the news and being at the airport allowed him to be indifferent or to jump on the first available flight to Ohio; failing that, he could hire a car there and drive, avoiding the tunnel tolls on the way.

There was another complication in the way now as well; he had received a text message from Thad the previous night, and it had contained a link to an article in The Zanesville Times Recorder, in which Beats sister had been named as deceased in the accident. Thad had not been certain that the woman involved was actually Beats' sister however, and he had sent it to Flint for confirmation. Flint had sighed, then called him to confirm that it was, and the Head Warbler had instantly told him that if there was anything that he could do to help, Beats only had to ask. He had also sympathised with Flint having to be the one to inform him…

"Even when we are out of touch with our siblings, losing them would still be devastating. They don't even acknowledge that I exist any longer, but if I heard that something had happened to Junior, or Zoë, or Marcia, I would be distraught, as would Ollie for that matter. How Beats reacts to this will also be affected by the fact that she had kids that he is very fond of…"

"My biggest worry is that he will feel that he should be stepping up to be their parent now…"

Thad thought for a moment, then replied, "I don't actually see that happening, at least not for all of them; the two eldest would not wish to be uprooted from friends and school to relocate to New York, and trust me, Beats will never willingly move back to Ohio. Whist nobody wants to split the kids in a family up in normal circumstances, his youngest niece would probably find leaving Ohio the least concerning, and only having to raise the two eldest kids might well relieve the stress on the Harpers…"

Flint had said nothing about Thad's statement at the time, but he had great doubt that his friend would see it as an acceptable compromise if he was determined to save his parents heartache. The fact was that there was no outcome that did not involve compromises, save that the children's father came back and took his place once more as their parent. That was all in the future though; just now he had to break his friend's happy bubble. He waited for the line on the arrivals board to change to indicate the plane had landed and then he sent a text to Elliott, to tell him that he was not to say anything to Beats, but he was waiting in arrivals to greet them and unfortunately had some very bad news to pass on to his best friend.

He did not elaborate on that, just crossed his fingers that Elliott would put his phone back on as soon as they left the plane and therefore would see the message before they stepped onto the concourse. He waited nervously and then he felt his phone vibrate with a reply. 'How bad? A death? Please not either of his parents!'

Flint sighed, then responded, 'It is family, but not his parents or youngsters.'

There was no reply to his second message and all he could do now was wait. The wait was not a long one and very soon he could see them approaching, Elliott scanning the hall for him and then steering his husband in Flint's direction. That sudden change of direction made Beats look up and then he too saw Flint standing there. He regarded his friend with curiosity and then his smile faded as he realised that his presence at the airport indicated that something bad had happened.

"What's happened?" Beats exclaimed as soon as he was in earshot. "Oh Lord, please don't let it be Dante or Ty!"

"They're fine, trust me, as are your nieces, nephew and parents," replied Flint. "It was your mom though that sent me here. Your sister was involved in a car accident on Saturday night, and I'm afraid that she did not survive it."

Beats looked at his best friend for a moment, and then closed his eyes. "Those poor kids… Was she out with a man when it happened? Actually, you don't need to answer that; it was a Saturday night so I know that she would have been. Lord forbid that she might have been at home on a Saturday night taking care of her children! Okay, so I'm going to stop there, because we should never speak ill of the dead, not even the unpleasant ones…" He opened his eyes again and blinked. He could feel the tears building up, but they were not for his sister or his own loss, but for those poor children left without a mom…

Then his thoughts turned to his parents, who had been more or less full-time carers for the children in question for so long now; they were now officially in that position, and would be handling the grief of his nephew and nieces… "I need to call my folks right now, see if they need me to go to Ohio and help them take care of her kids, because all of this must be so awful for them; they've lost a daughter on top of all of the rest…"

"Of course you have to," said Flint with a nod. "Here, use my phone; I have a tariff that allows me to make calls to anywhere in the United States for free, and I know that you don't have that luxury on your calling plan." Beats nodded and took the phone that Flint was proffering, then headed over to a bench in a quiet corner of the room, away from all of the crowds of travellers.

"When you told me that his sister had died, I had absolutely no idea how he would react," whispered Elliott to Flint as he watched as his husband began to talk to someone on the other end of the call. "I know that they weren't close and the remarks that she made about our relationship and about Dante in particular really hurt him, but I still thought that he would cry more than he is doing…"

"Me too, but maybe this is just his way of handling it all. Let's be honest, she was so ungrateful to him after all of the sacrifices that he made for her benefit after her husband walked out on her; then there is the fact that if he knew exactly how nasty she was behind his back for years before that too…" Flint stopped speaking, but he knew from the look on Elliott's face that he had said too much, and he could not dismiss the past now. "Look, don't ever tell him this, but she had a name for me from the minute that she realised I was his Jewish best friend; it was one that could definitely be classed as anti-Semitic…"

Elliott seethed inwardly at that, but before he could press Flint to tell him exactly what it was he saw his husband's face suddenly crumple; he ran across to him immediately, leaving Flint to struggle over with the cases. By the time that he made it over to the bench, Elliott had taken his phone, and so it fell to him to sit down beside his best friend and pull him into a hug, letting him sob on his shoulder. Elliott smiled at that, and kept on talking to Mrs Harper, getting all of the details from her. He eventually said his goodbyes, ended the call, then looked over at Flint sadly.

"Because her death took place as a result of an accident that is classified as a criminal incident, there will be a slight delay in releasing her body for the funeral; as a result, that is scheduled for Saturday. Everything that can be done before then is in hand, so she sees no point in us heading to Ohio right now; as she said herself, we must be tired after our lengthy flight, so she doesn't want us driving out there and having an accident of our own, not does she want a friend to volunteer to drive us…"

Flint nodded at that, knowing that he would have driven his best friend and his husband to Ohio if he had to, then faced an equally lengthy drive back to New York.

Elliott went on, "She said that the children are naturally upset, but coping…"

"No wonder!" exclaimed Beats then, pulling himself back into an upright position and wiping at his red eyes. "My mom and dad have played their parents for such a long time now that they will hardly notice she is gone; in fact, she told me that my nephew said that he wouldn't miss her being around. How can a child of his age say that they won't miss their mom when she dies like that? What kind of legacy has she left? All she ever did was put herself first each and every time, in every situation, and if she hurt people in the process, then so what? What hurts me most is that she will never have the chance to make it up to her kids and act like a proper mom should!"

"That was the thing that made you cry, wasn't it? That she couldn't be the mom that she should always have been now," said Elliott softly.

"Yeah, and well, much as I hate to admit it, I can't bear the thought that I will never see her again either…"

Flint insisted that they took a cab back to Manhattan from the airport, having already cleared it with his father-in-law that he could charge it to the company account. The older man had been appraised of the situation, and he had remarked that he saw Beats as almost family in any case; his decision to take up stripping to make money at college had seen Flint take up the same line of work to support him, and it was in that bar that Izzy had first set eyes on the man that she now called her husband…

He helped to bring the cases into their apartment, then prepared a spot of lunch for them all. Beats was quiet throughout, barely saying a word, and that was what upset Flint about the whole situation the most. Had he not been forced to break the terrible news of his sister's death to him then his friend would have been sitting where he was with a huge grin on his face, waxing lyrical about all of the things he had seen, and showing him all that he had brought back with him…

Lunch done, and the dishes placed in the washer, he knew he had to leave, as he was expected back at the office at some point. He announced his intention, and would realise later that he should not have been surprised when Beats stood up as well, and had asked, "Do you think that Rabbi Hirsch will be at the synagogue? I ought to go and pray for my sister, shouldn't I?"

"Either that or talk to someone about your feelings right now; someone that never met your sister and is not so involved with the whole thing," said Elliott.

Beats nodded at that, and said, "Yeah, I could do that; it might help me sort things out in my head… Would you mind if I went?"

"Not at all," replied Elliott with a sad smile. "Why don't you head out with Flint now; he can walk with you to the synagogue, and see you get to meet with the Rabbi. I will sort out for someone to be around when Ty gets home from school, then come over there and be waiting for you when you get out." Beats nodded at that suggestion, and then went over to kiss his husband for being so loving and understanding of how he felt right now.

As soon as they were out in the street, Flint turned to his friend and said, "I'm sorry that I had to bring you down so much the moment that you arrived home from your dream vacation; by the look of all of the photos you posted, you were having such a good time."

"I was," replied Beats, a small smile on his lips. "It was everything that I expected it to be and more. I knew that the visit wasn't going to be a long one, and that Elliott isn't quite as passionate about the country and its culture as me, but I think that he had a good time too… I even picked up all those comic books for so little."

"I actually recalled the two that you showed in the first Facebook post you made about buying them from our shared dorm room in Freshman year at Princeton."

"Yeah, those two series were my particular favourites, and having to sell them hurt me so much at the time," answered Beats quietly. "There is a delicious irony that I actually got them back at the same time as the person that was responsible for me having to sell my original copies was passing away. This is all such a mess, Flint! I should maybe have tried harder to rebuild my bridges towards her…"

"Err, no! She was the one that came out with all of the bile and hate towards your son, your husband and you as well. She was the one that neglected her own children after their father left her, that went out on a seemingly endless string of dates with man after man. She was the one that treated your parents with disrespect and took them for granted as permanent childminders. You had every reason to want to keep that level of toxicity out of your own life."

"She was still family, and that counts for something…"

"Something that should work both ways."

"That I can't argue with, I grant you," responded Beats. "You must admit though that you were never her biggest fan…"

"For a multitude of reasons; the way she treated you and your parents being the greatest of them all for a start…"

Beats suddenly stopped walking, and Flint did too, turning to look at his best friend, who was now looking at him intently. To his horror, he suddenly saw tears forming in Beats' eyes, and a look of guilt and horror appearing on his face… "The greatest reason, which means there were others… Please tell me that she didn't say things about you, that she didn't attack you for your faith…"

Flint sighed, feeling his own eyes getting moist, then whispered, "I can't lie to you Beats, not even for the most honourable of reasons. Look, it is in the past, and if anything her hatred and resentment towards me just made me all the more determined that I would become your permanent, indispensable best buddy. Maybe the strength of the bond between us is down at least in part to her…" Flint placed an arm around his friend's shoulder then, and after a moment, he started to walk again, guiding the other man with him. There was no point in lengthy conversations and guilt trips now…

They arrived at the synagogue in good time, Beats tears nearly over by then. Flint opened the door and they stepped in, coming across Rabbi Hirsch herself engaged in the act of pinning a notice up on the bulletin board. She took one look at the expression on Beats' face and the tear tracks upon it, and said, "Come right into my office and we can talk…"

Flint would realise later that the first thought of the good lady was that there was trouble in the marriage of Beats and Elliott, or with Dante or Ty, because when he explained what had happened to her, she looked mightily relieved. After he had said his piece, he turned to Beats, who had been sitting silently, and said "Do you want me to stay in the building until Elliott gets here?"

Beats smiled at him and shook his head. "No, you have given up enough of your day already what with coming over to Newark to break the news and then cooking us lunch. You get back to your work; Elliott will not be long and until he gets here, this good lady and I can have a talk and try to sort my emotions out a little."

Flint nodded, but he would not leave before embracing his friend again. "If you need anything, call me. I will also be with you at the funeral on Saturday, no arguments. Whether you like it or not, I am going to be there, if not for you, then for your parents."

With those words, Flint was gone, leaving Beats alone to open up his heart to the Rabbi, who listened, sympathised, understood and then advised. "You say that your love for your sister never went away, that it was always there at the corner of your heart, even when she was at her most cruel and abusive towards you. If what you say is true, and I believe that it is, then you have nothing to reproach yourself over. You were the one that looked out for her when her times were troubled, you were the one that gave up something that was yours by rights to save her; that is what the good person in any relationship does. However, when that person you have do, and sometimes to ensure that we keep that love for them alive, we have no option but to walk away. That is the only approach that works. I must also say this; whilst your natural desire is to be there for her children and your parents at this tragic time, you also need to take time to deal with the grief you feel inside…"

Flint would be later than usual in arriving home that evening, as he wanted to keep ahead of the work that he needed to get done; he did not want to end up lagging behind, particularly as he was also taking a half day on Friday so that he could drive along with Beats and Elliott to Zanesville for the funeral. He had always been fond of the Harpers, and his heart ached for them right now. He recalled that fondness hadn't faded even when he had come to the end of his limits of endurance with the cruel words and gestures that his best friend's sister used around him, and he had made up excuses to stop joining Beats on the trips he took back to his family home on so many weekends. He hadn't told Beats that his mother – Marge as she demanded that he call her every visit – had been upset at his not coming, and had then realised what was going on. She had called him personally to apologise for her daughter's words, as if they had been her fault, and not the mentality of the young lady's friends and associates…

He checked his home as he walked home from the subway, and discovered he had a message from Elliott. 'Thought that you would like to know, he is feeling much better now after his session with Rabbi Hirsch. I don't think she told him anything that we hadn't done already, but he believed it from her as she has religious authority! Right now he is sitting with Ty, Dante and Lachlan, and they are going through all of the comic books he bought, so please pray for me! I will keep an eye on him though, make sure he is staying strong. If I don't speak or see you before then, I will see you on Friday at some point for our journey to Ohio…'

Elliott had been concerned as to how his husband's talk with the Rabbi would pan out; however, he knew that he had to talk to someone about all of the issues that had been brought up by the death of his sister. The biggest of these as far as he could see was the guilt that he felt about having cut her out of his life, because she was family and no matter how much she had hurt him, he felt that by cutting her completely from his life, he had abandoned her. For his part, Elliott did not believe that the actions Beats had taken were wrong, but he did; when all was said and done, it was his husband's opinions that were the ones that mattered in the circumstances.

He had arrived at the synagogue half an hour after Flint had departed, having had to go and speak to Jeff, to ask him to take Ty in when he arrived home from school, citing an emergency. He could see that the blond was curious as to what the emergency was, but he was well mannered enough not to push for the exact nature of the event. He had found himself a seat in the hallway not far from the door to the Rabbi's office, and he estimated that he had been there for about forty minutes before the door finally opened and Beats emerged, a smile on his face for the first time since he had been told the news…

After a few minutes of polite small talk between the couple and the Rabbi they had headed out once more, and Elliott had not complained at all when Beats had linked arms with him as they walked back towards the West Village. As they walked, he told Elliott a little of what the Rabbi had said to him; the latter couldn't help but think that her description of the relationship between the Harper siblings as still being a loving one had been an apt one, at least from Beats end of the affair. He did have his doubts about how much that love had been reciprocated when she did not want something from him, but he let that slide, anxious not to upset the man that he loved. He was just glad that the Rabbi had found the formula that had made his husband feel much better in himself for now.

That night Beats prepared himself for his return to work the next day, having already spoken to his boss and informed them of his sister's passing, and how he would need to leave at lunchtime on Friday to get home for the funeral. They had been understanding and had offered him the chance to take some compassionate leave as well, but he had declined to do so. "I think that the worst thing I could do right now would be to dwell on the subject too much; being at work will be a good distraction. There is nothing that I can do to assist with the arrangements, and we also have those Open House meetings in Stuy Town on Wednesday and Thursday evening that I am scheduled to be the senior official at. I can't abandon that project…"

"Well, only if you are certain. I will not deny that your presence at those events will be invaluable; you have a knack for being able to explain things to the general public, explaining the reasoning behind our decisions in their language, so to speak…"

Beats had smiled at his boss' words, and knew what they meant was that he could put things in layman's terms so much better than the rest of them; unfortunately, the use of that term was now to be avoided, as it was too gender specific, and layperson didn't quite sound as good. "I am looking forward to putting our case over to the whole of the community there. I will come and see you tomorrow for confirmation on exactly where we are now pitching ourselves. I will be in at the usual time, so let me know when is best."

He had no sooner ended that conversation than there had been the sound of feet on the stairs, and Dante and Lachlan had appeared, eager to hear all about Japan, not knowing what had happened that morning. Before Elliott could intervene and stop them from questioning him, Beats had taken a seat and started to tell them all about the experiences they had enjoyed, complete with all of the photos he had taken. He had watched as the youngsters faces' had lit up with interest, and could see that Beats was overjoyed to discover that Lachlan also had a keen interest in the manga comics he loved so much. Elliott had watched as they were brought out and noted that whilst Dante was interested politely, Lachlan was in his element as he was allowed to flick through them. It seemed that Elliott and his adopted son would both have to deal with a partner distracted by the comic world…

They had waited until dinner was over to share the news that Beats' sister had passed away. Dante was immediately horrified that he had allowed them to go on about the trip to Japan when he was grieving, but Beats had told him that it had been a pleasure. Of the two young men, Dante was the most sympathetic, as he knew first-hand the pain of losing family, even when you were not that close. He was glad to hear that Flint had gone to the airport to tell him in person too. "She wasn't someone that I ever met, although she had a lot to say about me, none of it good, but I understand that this must be quite hard for you," he said to his adopted father. "Of course, you will have the support of the whole Warbler brotherhood, not just Flint."

"Actually, as far as I am aware, they don't know what has occurred. They should, I guess, because it saves Flint from the worry that he will spill the details in error. I can just put a little something on Facebook, because they will all be checking my posts tonight, expecting to see something about my return home and more on my time in Japan. They'll will have to wait for that until tomorrow though…"

He pulled out his phone, opened the app, and typed a very short message. He posted it, then to the amusement of the others in the room, he started to countdown slowly from twenty. When he was almost at zero, there was a knocking at the door downstairs, and he said, "That will be either Drew or Ethan to see how I am bearing up and offer their condolences in person; it was too quick for it to be Nick or Jeff…"

Elliott shook his head and headed down to the door, and opened it to find Ethan there. "He's expecting you; you even made it in the time he was expecting," said Elliott, which made Ethan shake his head but smile, as he headed upstairs. He knew that there was no love lost between brother and sister, and the reason why, so he concentrated his words on Beats, and on asking how his parents were holding up.

"I only talked to them briefly, but they seem to be holding up pretty well considering. There is a part of me that thinks that they might even have been anticipating something like this for a while now. Like me, their main concern is for the children, who are effectively orphaned by this; their father is not in touch, and hasn't been since I was at college, and their mother is now not just absent, but deceased."

"Well, if you need any help in finding their father, I have contacts in the business thanks to the Trust; it would be the least I could do to get them to find him for you all," replied Ethan, taking his friend's hand in his own. Beats nodded, knowing that his mother was hoping that he would see the news of his ex-wife's death in the newspapers and return voluntarily for the funeral. If he did not, however, he would have no hesitation in accepting his friends offer and getting the man back into his offspring's lives.