Can a roommate really be called a roommate if he spends more time out of the apartment than in it? Because Sonic really pushes that boundary. And like a nerd, I can prove it with actual numbers and evidence. "I have receipts," as Charmie might say.

I'm not trying to be bitter or disparaging; he's not out partying all night or anything. Sonic may be sociable, but he's not the type to actively throw ragers, especially since he's not a fan of celebrity attention. No, he's just constantly on missions, both self-assigned and actually assigned. Whenever there's some Starline sleeper agent, or if some schmuck tries to fill in Eggman's shoes, he's always there to answer the call. It's noble, and I still admire him for everything he does. He's a true hero, and of all the things to change over the past decade, I admire how that aspect never budged.

That said, would it kill him to do the dishes before he left for days at a time?

I chuckle to myself as I land near our apartment. Look at me, complaining that a Mobian tasked with keeping the world safe from existential threats doesn't do his share of household chores. Guess I'm too familiar with the guy. If it wasn't for Cream, Sonic would easily still be my best friend. We get along just as well as we did during our Eggman-thwarting heyday. Even when he's on his missions, he makes a note of calling or leaving messages, just to make sure I'm doing alright. Hell, it's not uncommon for him to ask for my help on some of the more complicated ones. Recently, we had trouble with some ancient evil knocked loose by The Hooligans, which, thanks to Wave and I, was contained before she brought the majority of her army.

Key word here is "majority." There were still quite a few minions to plow through. Tangle still jokes about her knuckles being bruised from punching those nagas. I still owe her for that whole episode. Maybe I can get her a new jacket?

I'm getting off track here…

There's something of a ritual I go through when I get home. As I approach the apartment, I check for a note on the door. Sonic typically leaves something like that if he has to go to work. It's kind of my go-to way to tell if Sonic's home or not. When I see there's no note, then check to see if the door is unlocked- sometimes he's not on a mission, but still out, given how restless he can be. He and I are a lot alike in that sense. If the door is locked, no big deal, just get the keys. If it's unlocked, I can know for sure he's home.

As luck would have it, there's no note, and the door is open.

Our apartment is a plain, two-bedroom bachelor pad. Some people give us looks when we mention that we're living in an apartment; I'm guessing they thought some Big Damn Heroes would be living it up in some big mansion or something. Thing is, mansions aren't Sonic's style, and it's definitely not mine. For Sonic, living the high life makes him feel guilty, and frankly, he's bored by it. As for me, well, I'd live in a garage if you'd let me, so my standards are pretty low too. Guess that's just a byproduct of "camping out" so much during the good old days.

Honestly, if it wasn't for Sonic, I would be living in a garage. His heroics contribute far more to the rent than my wrench-monkey checks. Don't let his spending habits fool you, he has rings for days.

As I walk in, I find Sonic sitting on the couch, his thumbs pounding away on the Olympus controller. Given his expression on his face, he's deep into some sort of boss fight. Sonic, weirdly enough, is one of those people who takes single-player far more seriously than multiplayer ones. He could get smoked in a game of Fight To The Death and just shrug, but if some demon is giving him trouble in Devils Never Die, he'll act like there's an actual epic struggle unfolding. I can't judge- I'm the same way, but I prefer RPGs to the type of brawlers he plays.

Dragonic Odyssey for life, fools.

Without saying a word, I stroll over to the couch and take a seat next to him. Sure enough, he's engaged in a life-or-death battle with some elder deity, his player character hacking away at eyes and tendrils. It looks like something we fought years ago, something that gave me nightmares for a month. I genuinely have no idea what's going on in the battle. Between all the attacks on both sides, the quips, the battle cries, and the UI, I feel like I'm in the middle of a fever dream. Finally, it mercifully comes to an end with one final slash of the sword, the elder creature wailing in agony.

"LET'S GOOOOOOOOO!" Sonic celebrates. He drops the controller next to him and jumps up, pumping his fists. "Suck it, Ialdabaoth!" He turns to me as if I was always here, pointing at the screen. "Did you see that? That was sick!"

I smile. "Good to see you too, dude. Hell of a sight to come home to."

He laughs. "I've spent an hour trying to beat him on the highest difficulty. It came down to the wire, but I showed him."

"Wait, you mean that was the one-touch death mode? Meaning all that stuff on the screen never touched you?"

"Impressed now?"

"Are you kidding? I got a seizure trying to just find the hero. That's amazing, Sonic."

"Thanks, bud." He sighs contentedly. "You're home early, by the way. What's up?"

"Rotor is temporarily closing the workshop. Says one of his friends is sick, and he needs to be out of town."

He frowns a little. "You mean Bunnie's sick? That sucks, she's one of the best."

"You know her?"

"Only what Rotor's told me. But a friend of my friend is my friend too, yeah?"

I nod. Sonic's memory is almost as strong as mine, but he just uses it for different things. I use it to whip up wicked machines, he uses it to remember that one interest you mentioned one time. "Speaking of home early, I'm surprised you aren't working out or something."

He shrugs. "Already did a lap, didn't feel like much else. It's a lazy Saturday, my guy." When Sonic says a lap, he means one around all of Mobius. In the old days, it was something he did for endurance training. Nowadays he treats it like a morning run.

"Fair enough." I pause. Time to get started on what I came here for. "Hey, can I ask you a favor?"

"Of course." He's zipped to the fridge to grab a bottle of those fluorescent sport drinks. "I still owe you a few."

"I'm trying to get in touch with Amy, she's not picking up. I left a message and a text, but I haven't heard back. I figured that you'd have better luck."

He scratched his cheek a bit. "Why do you need Amy's help?"

I expected he'd dig. It's an odd request without context. However, I don't want to tell him about Cream just yet. I can usually trust him to keep secrets, but this is way too personal right now. Still, I should let him know at least something- hiding it totally would serve no purpose other than drama. "I'm having…trouble with a friend, and I need some advice."

"Why not ask me then?"

"The friend is a girl."

"Oh." He blinks, realization slowly crawling up his face. "Ohhhhh…"

I nod again. That should be enough to clue him in without doing a deep dive. "No offense, Sonic, but I need an expert opinion here."

"No, no, I get it." He takes a swig from his drink, walking back to take a seat on the couch. "I'm no good when it comes to this kind of stuff."

"Hey, I didn't mean it like that. When it comes to love, everyone comes up short of Amy. Trust me, you're still good for advice."

"I appreciate that, Tails, but that's horseshit."

"Oh come on, you're the reason I'm able to make friends at all. Remember when we were younger? I could barely talk to anyone without you hanging in the back."

"Not really what I meant. I'm talking about love." He chuckles. "Now that's a frontier that still kicks my ass."

"That makes sense," I admit. While some tabloids make him out to be some sort of hyper-charming playboy, his track record with love is embarrassing. Sonic may be able to make friends with anyone, but when it comes to "next steps," he tends to fail pretty badly. He never learned how to really switch between being a friend and being a boyfriend, which frustrated every Mobian who gave him a shot. The only exception I can think of is Mina, but she's honestly too sweet for her own good, even today.

"I mean," he continues, "apart from Amy, I don't think I've ever been in a decent relationship, and even that is pretty, um…" he waves his free arm aimlessly. "What's the word? Like it's one wrong move from all crashing down."

"Precarious?" I offer.

"That's it."

"I can see where you're coming from, though I don't really agree. I think you're doing great with Amy."

"You think so? It doesn't feel like I'm doing anything right with her…" He shakes his head. "Listen to me, wasting my time moping when you need help. Give me one second, let me pull her up." He checks his pockets. "Now where's that damn phone…give me a sec." He gets up and starts roaming the apartment.

I look on. Only Sonic could swing from confiding that he's worried about his relationship before immediately leaping to helping out a friend. It's weird, but sometimes he worries me. He's always tucking away how he actually feels to make sure everyone's happy. It only works for so long, and then it results in some massive blowout, or emotional crash, or usually, both. It's been a struggle since day one, but it's hardly gotten better. Amy and I keep trying to get him to talk about his feelings more, but he almost always waves us off.

Guess that's part of why his past relationships kept imploding. Let this be a lesson, kids: talk about your feelings before you have an argument, not after.

But who am I to talk? Right now, I'm having serious trouble talking about any feelings to my crush.

"A ha!" I hear Sonic from his room. "There you are, you slippery bastard!" After a few seconds, I feel my own phone ringing. I thought Sonic was calling me as a joke to celebrate finding his phone; he's done that before. It's only when I check the caller ID do I realize something more serious is afoot.

"Rouge?"

Usually it's just a poke or a quick message, but when she actually calls, there's some serious trouble going around. And if it's me, it's usually because she knows she can squeeze something out of me, like bail money for a friend or maintenance on Omega. Sometimes I really am too nice. And she wasn't even the worst woman to pull that on me.

Fiona, wherever you are…jump off a bridge.

"Hello, Foxy. How's life?"

"Lowkey. I have a few days off, and I plan on using them wisely."

"Lucky you. I can't remember when my last time-off request was honored. Been working myself to the bone lately. Oh, and don't get me started about the new boss- completely humorless. It's like working for a two-by-four."

"Uh huh." I was familiar with how these calls played out by now. We'd make small talk to get some investment. before she springs her request. "Do you need anything, Rouge?"

"Foxy, I'm hurt. You think I'm only calling to get something in return? How cynical of you."

"If I'm being cynical, it's because we've had this call many times before."

"You sound just like Shadow. And you used to be such a sweetheart."

"Didn't say I didn't want to help."

"Oh thank goodness. I thought I'd lost my good widdle boy."

"Cut that out before I change my mind," I groan. Rouge still seems to get a kick out of teasing me. It was embarrassing when I was a kid and all she had to do was flutter those eyelashes to make me squirm, but now, it feels annoying and disrespectful.

"Then I'll cut to the chase, then. Knuckles is in a mood. I need you and Big Blue to come over and help him get over it."

That got my attention. Rouge only really uses your real name if A) she doesn't like you or B) she's mad at you. "What happened?"

"He got in a booze-fueled shouting match with Shadow."

"Uh oh. Anyone hurt?"

"Well, Shadow gave Tikal a couple of emotional gut punches, so Knuckles gave him a left hook. Neither of them are taking responsibility for anything."

"Yikes, imagine being a dick to Tikal, of all Mobians."

"Trust me, I'm not happy with Shadow either. I told him he's not coming back in until he apologizes to Tikal. And as for Knuckles, I've been trying to let it go, but he's a stubborn bastard sometimes. I figured someone with a different touch might get him to budge."

"I'm not sure I can help. If he's not going to listen to his longtime girlfriend-"

"Oh, sweet summer child. Lots of Mobians are willing to tell their friends things they can't tell their partners. Sometimes, the person you love isn't your best friend."

"That…makes a strange amount of sense."

"Relationships are strange, Foxy. Though I assume you'll learn that eventually, if you get your act together."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"A little birdie told me you're head-over-heels for someone."

I groan. This is a complication that I was hoping to avoid. "That 'little birdie' wouldn't happen to be a certain swallow, would it?"

"Little tip, Foxy: be careful who you share important info with, especially if the Mobian in question is a friend of mine."

"Wonderful…"

"Aw, cheer up. I may be a woman who lives for drama, but a high school crush? That's weak material, no fun in sharing that. Still, if you want my advice, I wouldn't sit on my cute little ass. The longer you wait, the worse it's going to get."

"Is that so?" I grumble.

"Don't be like that, you are a lot cuter when you're smiling. You'll do well to remember that. Just swing by Knuckles's pad and talk to him, 'k?"

"At this point, I have half a mind to say 'no.'"

"You're not going to leave Knuckles hanging, are you? He's smashing new holes in the sides of the Ancient Ruins."

I blink. "Chaos, he's not that pissed, is he?"

"He is, and he's not returning any of my calls or messages. Believe it or not, I'm worried about my man. You know how nasty his grudge matches can get."

I sigh. She's right, it's in no one's best interest for this to go unchecked. She may be toying with me for a rise, but given the history the two have, I have no reason to believe she's lying about being worried. "I'll give it a shot."

"I'm counting on you two. Meet you at his hangout?"

"Yeah. Wish us luck."

"Lots of it. Bye-ya."

I exhale again as I hang up. If Wave told Rouge about my crush, it might be only a matter of time before Cream herself hears about it. If she finds out about it behind my back and doesn't feel the same way, that would be like pushing our friendship off the top of a twenty story building. And if by some miracle it never reaches her, given what else the bat said, waiting longer is only going to complicate things. At this point, the sooner I tell her, the better.

A simple solution… that I have no idea how to approach.

I look up, finding Sonic standing beside the TV. "Did you get in touch with Amy?"

He frowned. "I did. She's, uh, pretty busy, actually. She said she had an 'appointment' tomorrow."

"Really? Well, shit, there goes the 'expert opinion.'" I shook my head, gritting my teeth.

"Sorry, little buddy. I tried to find out what she meant, but she gave me the slip."

"Well, that's not your fault. Besides, I- well, Rouge, actually- need your help with something else. It's about Knuckles."

Sonic raised an eyebrow. "Lemme guess- a fight?"

"Yep."

"Has he apologized, or is he sulking?"

"From what I heard, the latter."

"Great. Well, we got our work cut out for us. Ready to go?"

"No, but I'm sure I can pull it together when we get there."

Sonic smiles. "Good answer. Sometimes you just gotta play things by ear."

I sigh as I get up. "I just hope it works out. Knuckles tends to dig his heels in over this stuff."

"Just do what you can, little buddy. The only thing any of us can do is try."

"You make it sound so simple."

He chuckles. "Hey, sometimes things are only complicated because we make it that way."

A/N: Hey, he said the thing! I don't have a lot of notes for this one, so, uh, see you next time?