AN: Alright, so I promised to post both chapter 12 and 13 this weekend. You are getting 12 tonight and I will post 13 on Sunday afternoon. This chapter is longer than most of my chapters but I feel like all this needed to be in one chapter. The beginning of this chapter also got expanded as several reviewers wanted to see a bit of what went on at the Grant's. There are several sections, so if you need a break in reading the chapter, just stop at the end of a section! Happy reading! This chapter again contains events that may be hard to read or triggering. Also, I do realize that things would probably not proceed this fast in real life, however, I wanted to wrap things up and move on with the story so I hope you can suspend your disbelief and just go along with the timing for the sake of the story.
Unsurprisingly, Jack was fast asleep by the time that Lee pulled his car to a stop in front of the Grant's home.
"Are we home?" a drowsy Ally asked from the back seat.
"We are," Nathan told her, glancing back at her. "Go get ready for bed and I will be in as soon as I get Jack settled," he informed her, opening the passenger side door.
"Where is Jack sleeping?" Ally asked.
"In with me," Nathan replied.
"That is what the extra pillows are for," Lee informed her. He had gotten out of the car and was on the passenger side, knowing Nathan would need help with Jack with one arm in the sling. Reaching in, Lee picked Jack up. "We'll tuck the pillows around him so he doesn't accidently roll out."
Ally nodded, grabbing the two extra pillows the Coulters had sent with them as she got out of the car.
"I will carry Jack upstairs for you," Lee told Nathan. "Why don't you get his bag," he suggested.
"All right," Nathan acquiesced as he got out of the car. He grabbed the bag from the back seat and followed Lee toward the house. Sleepy or not, Ally had already disappeared inside. With long strides, Nathan reached the house before Lee and held the front door open.
Nathan led Lee up to his bedroom. Ally had already deposited the extra pillows onto his bed. Between the two of them, Lee and Nathan got the sleeping boy into his pajamas. With one of Nathan's pillows under Jack's head, and the two pillows from the Coulter's tucked on either side of the boy, both men felt reasonable sure Jack would not fall out of the bed. Lee placed a kiss on the boy's forehead before leaving the room with Nathan.
"Bring the kids over for breakfast in the morning, Nathan," Lee told him. "I'll give you a ride into town in the morning so you can meet with Bill."
Feeling emotionally drained from the evening events, Nathan like the idea of not having to worry about breakfast.
"I appreciate the offer. Thank you, Lee."
Lee reached out and rested his hand on Nathan's good shoulder. "We need to support one another so we all can support Elizabeth and Jack," he said. "How are you, Nathan?"
"Honestly, I don't know, Lee. I can't help but wonder if I could have done something more to prevent this. If it wasn't for my memory coming back tonight, none of this would have happened."
"Don't blame yourself, Nathan. You would not have wanted the weight of keeping a man in jail on charges you knew he was innocent of."
"Except that I had a strong suspicion that he was guilty of something else."
"But not proof," Lee reminded him. "Elizabeth defended Lucas to even me and Rosemary. Despite our own suspicion, there was not much we could do. I wish she had accepted help before this, but she didn't. I just hope that she is finally ready to stop defending, Lucas."
Nathan glanced to the boy cocooned in pillows on his bed. He couldn't see the marks on Jack's face from here but he knew they were there. "Elizabeth is not going to be able to defend him from the child abuse charges, no matter what," he said looking back to Lee. "I hope she is done defending him period. I won't let that boy go back to that house if Lucas is going to be there, no matter what that means."
Lee nodded. "I am with you. Let's take it one step at a time though. For now, let's keep that between us. Perhaps Elizabeth is finally ready to accept help and then we will not have to take that step."
Nathan nodded. He wanted to protect both Elizabeth and Jack but if he had to make the choice, he would brave Elizabeth's wrath to protect Jack.
"Go get Ally settled and try to get some sleep yourself, Nathan," Lee told him, finally letting his hand drop. "I can let myself out and I will see you in the morning."
"Thanks, Lee," Nathan said.
As Lee headed downstairs, Nathan went to Ally's room. Knocking on the door, he waited for Ally's invitation to enter. When it came, Nathan pushed the door open.
Ally was already in bed. She looked up at Nathan with heavy eyelids. "I think I am too tired for a chapter of our book tonight," she admitted.
"That is fine," Nathan told her. "I am tired myself. How are you dealing with all of this, Ally?" he asked, wanting to make sure his little girl was okay.
"Why do people let others treat them the way Dad treated Mom or Mr. Bouchard treated Mrs. Bouchard? Why didn't my mom or Mrs. Bouchard ask for help?"
"Well, your Mom thought she loved your father and that he loved her. I suppose it was the same for Elizabeth. Perhaps there was even loved involved at some point. I don't know. However, no one has the right to physically or emotionally continue to hurt another person on purpose. Though our actions or words may cause unintentional harm at times, when it becomes a pattern then it becomes abuse. Though I pray you are never in a relationship like that, Ally, if it does happen I pray that you will have the strength to ask for help. There is no shame in asking for help."
Ally nodded even as she sat up and wrapped her arms around Nathan.
"We're going to help Jack and his mom, aren't we?" Ally asked as she rested her head against his shoulder.
"Yes, we will," Nathan promised her. He placed a kiss against the top of her head. "For now, get some sleep."
"I almost wish I was little again so I could climb into bed with you like I did when I was little," Ally said.
Nathan remembered those early days as well. When he first started looking after Ally, though she had started in her own bed, there were many occasions that he would wake up to Ally curled up in the bed next to him.
"If you can't sleep tonight, you know right where I am," Nathan told her. "Good night, Ally," he said finally releasing her.
"Good night, Dad," Ally said, settling back against her pillow again.
Nathan tucked the light blanket up around her, and kissed her forehead. Going back to his room, he quietly got himself ready for bed. Climbing into his bed, he kissed Jack's forehead before settling down himself.
Though he lay awake for a while, Nathan finally did fall asleep. When he woke up to Jack's yells of "stop hurting, mama," Nathan found that the boy had moved over the pillow between them to snuggle against his side. Nathan wrapped an arm around the boy, talking to him softly hoping the boy would either wake up or simply be reassured by the words.
Jack did wake up with a gasp, sitting up in bed. He called for his, Mama. As gently as he could, Nathan reminded the boy that his Mama was being looked after by Dr. Faith but that he was all right. Jack dissolved into tears at that point. Nathan simply wrapped the boy in his arms and settled back against the pillows. Nathan asked the boy what his nightmare was about.
"Lucas got out of jail and was chasing me for protecting, Mama," Jack told him through his tears.
"Mountie Gabriel will not let him escape," Nathan reassured him.
"You promise?"
"I promise," Nathan told him without hesitation.
Jack eventually cried himself to sleep, and only then was Nathan able to fall asleep. In the morning, Nathan, Ally and Jak got dressed and walked to the Coulter's home. Breakfast was ready by the time the trio arrived. Though still subdue, Jack did greet Lee and Rosemary when they arrived. During breakfast though, he asked to sit in Nathan's lap. Knowing that the boy needed reassurance that he was safe more than anything else right now, Nathan consented, telling Jack it was a one time thing.
After breakfast, Aster was left in the care of Laura and the rest of them got into the Coulter's car and headed for town. Lee dropped Ally off at Opal's house. Ally had asked the night before what she could do for her former teacher. Nathan had suggested that making a card and picking some flowers would show Elizabeth that she was thinking of her. Ally had wanted to include Opal in the plan. After going about their tasks, the two girls planned on stopping by to see their former teacher.
Lee parked in front of his office as he usually did. Instead of going into his office though, Lee decided to walk Rosemary and Jack to the infirmary. Though he did not plan on staying, Lee did plan on checking in on Elizabeth himself.
Nathan was relieved when Jack went with the Coulters with only the promise from Nathan that he would see the boy later. While he was glad that the boy felt safe with him, he also did not want Jack getting too attached. Just because Lucas would be out of the picture that did not automatically mean Elizabeth would want him in it.
With Jack and the Coulter's on their way to see Elizabeth, Nathan turned his steps in the direction of Bill's office. As he walked, he noticed the Mountie transport wagon and two additional Mounties outside the jail. Nathan figured the wagon was for Spurlock as it would be too soon to be moving Lucas anywhere. The man's lawyer would not have had time to arrive yet. As Nathan was approaching the jail, Gabriel and a second Mountie led Spurlock out in handcuffs. Nathan paused, watching the process. Again the question of why Spurlock had shot him crossed his mind.
Spotting Nathan, Spurlock provided the answer unprompted. "Constable Grant!" the man greeted. "Seems I wasted my time shooting you to frame Bouchard as he managed to land himself in jail."
"Why would you want to frame Bouchard?" Nathan asked, the question slipping out without any thought.
"Because he tricked me out of one too many business deals," Spurlock replied. "With him behind bars, some of those opportunities he took from me, specifically the latest one, would have come back my way."
"And now you are both in jail," Gabriel replied. "Seems fitting to me."
Spurlock cast Gabriel a dirty look before climbing into the back of the transport wagon. Shutting the door as Spurlock settled on the bench inside, Gabriel made sure the door was lock before turning and shaking his fellow Mountie's hand.
"Safe travels," Gabriel told the Mountie.
"I have a feeling we'll be seeing you again soon," the Mountie replied.
Gabriel nodded in acknowledgment as he took a step back. The other Mountie headed for the wagon seat, as Nathan went to stand by his friend. Together, the two friends watched the wagon roll out of town.
"Are you heading to Bill's office?" Gabriel asked as the wagon turned the corner.
"I am."
"Let's walk together," Gabriel suggested.
The two friends headed in the direction of the office of the judge. They had only taken a few steps when Gabriel pulled a piece of paper from one of the breast pockets of his serge.
"This came for me this morning," Gabriel commented as he held the paper out to his friend.
Nathan took the paper and read it. "They want you to take the Hope Valley position permanently?" he questioned, though it was stating the obvious. Looking up from the paper, he glanced over at his friend. Gabe nodded even as Nathan asked a second question. "Are you going to?"
"I would like to," Gabriel replied. "Being closer to you and Ally would be like having family nearby. I need to talk to Faith, though. The wedding is the first weekend in September. Career decisions affect both of us now."
"Well, you know how Ally and I would feel but you need to make the right choice for you and Faith." Nathan said as he handed back the paper. "I wouldn't tell Bill about that until you make up your mind. He'll twist your arm to take it."
Gabriel laughed, tucking the paper away. "Thanks for the warning. I plan on telling Faith at lunch as long as nothing disturbs our picnic plans."
The two finished the walk in silence after that. Reaching Bill's office, Gabriel held the door for his friend.
Even through the haze of drowsiness, Elizabeth heard Nathan's voice. Fighting to wakefulness she focused in on his voice though she could not make out the words. Just the sound of his voice was soothing. As she moved to sit up though, Elizabeth let out a moan. Her body hurt in places that it was not polite to mention. Her wrists ached as well. Lifting her one hand, she saw four oval shape bruises encircling it. In a flood, the memory of the evening before came back to her. She remembered Lucas' surprise appearance as well as his accusations. She remembered her son trying to defend her and Lucas pushing Jack aside. She remembered the sight and sound of Jack's head hitting the banister and then her husband forcing himself on her.
Though she no longer heard it now, Elizabeth recalled hearing Nathan's voice last night too, though the memory was hazy. Had he been the one to find her? She was trying to make sense of the memory as she heard Dr. Simmons speak beyond the curtain.
"One moment," he said, just before the curtain encircling her bed parted. "You are awake," Dr. Simmons said glancing at Elizabeth. "How are you feeling?"
"Sore," Elizabeth replied, not having the courage to go into details with a doctor she barely knew. More than even she missed Faith and Carson being Hope Valley's doctors.
"That is understandable but the good news is that a few days of rest and healing will solve that. Faith and I think you could leave the infirmary in the morning, though you will still need to take things easy."
"Jack?" Elizabeth asked, thinking of her son even though she recalled Rosemary and Jack visiting her before she fell asleep. Her son had been happy to see her and seemed fine but she needed an assurance from a doctor.
"Your son is fine," Dr. Simmons assured her. "I did a second exam on him before Rosemary took him for lunch at the café after you fell asleep. Physically, he just has a few bruises. There seem to be no other side effects from hitting his head. Emotionally, it seems he is a bit clingy and Nathan reported him having a nightmare last night, which is not abnormal under the circumstances. For now, Jack just needs to feel loved and safe and be allowed to express his feelings on his own terms without reprimands."
Elizabeth nodded, though one thing about the doctor's report perplexed her. "What do you mean Nathan reported Jack had a nightmare?"
The answer didn't come from Dr. Simmons but from Nathan, who now stood in the gap left by the curtain he held aside. "Jack asked to stay with me last night. Rosemary and I thought it would be for the best," he told her softly.
"Thank-you," Elizabeth replied, touched by Nathan's kindness toward her son. Recalling the night before and how Nathan had found her, Elizabeth glanced down to make sure the blanket properly covered her.
If either man noticed, neither commented on it.
"You are welcome," Nathan replied.
"Do you have any other questions for me, Elizabeth?" Dr. Simmons asked.
"No," she replied.
"Then I will let the two of you visit if you would like," Dr. Simmons said. Turning, he paused to address Nathan. "Keep that sling on for the next two days. If when I see you then the inflamation is gone, you can stop using it."
"Yes, doctor," Nathan replied, as he took a step forward allowing Dr. Simmons to slip through the gap. The doctor left the curtain opened a little as he headed toward his desk.
"Did you aggravate your injury last night?" Elizabeth inquired.
"I will be fine. Don't concern yourself about it. How are you?" Nathan asked, still standing just inside the curtain.
"The doctor says I just need to take it easy for a bit," Elizabeth replied, feeling a slight heat in her cheeks. Despite that, she needed to know for sure that she was just not imagining Nathan's presence in her memories of last night. "Are you the one who found me last night?" she asked quietly, certain that her cheeks were getting brighter.
"I was," Nathan confirmed, a bit of color coming to his own cheeks. Somehow, that reaction made Elizabeth feel a little calmer about the situation. "Helping people in their time of need is just part of being a Mountie Elizabeth. You have nothing to be embarrassed about and know that I will never bring that situation up but if you need to talk about it, you can talk to me."
"Thank you," Elizabeth said, his words bringing a wave of relief with them even if the heat in her cheeks did not disappear. "Can you sit and stay for a bit?" Elizabeth asked him.
Nathan nodded. He adjusted the chair at Elizabeth's bedside slightly before sitting down.
"Did Jack say what his nightmare was about?" Elizabeth asked, knowing that the subject of her son would feel like a safe topic.
"He did not go into details but he did mention Lucas getting out of jail and chasing him," Nathan told her, inwardly cringing. The last thing he wanted was Elizabeth placing any more guilt than she might already feel on herself. Still, he couldn't lie to her. Chances were that Jack would have other nightmares in the coming days.
Elizabeth nodded. "I failed both my son and his father," she said sadly. "Jack would have wanted me to find someone to love our son as much as he wanted me to find love again. I failed on both accounts," she lamented.
"You didn't fail either of them, Elizabeth," Nathan told her. "Little Jack knows you love him. That is the most important thing. You simply made a mistake, something that we all do."
"A mistake that my son ended up paying for," Elizabeth said, looking down at her hands rested on the blanket.
"No one is paying for anything," Nathan told her. "You and Jack both just went through some bad experiences but you are both going to move on from them. That is what is important. You have friends who will help you do just that," Nathan paused before adding, "I will help you both do that if you'll let me."
Elizabeth felt tears stinging in her eyes as the quiet sincere offer. Even after all the pain she had caused Nathan, and inadvertently Ally, he had not gone anywhere. Yes, he had kept his distance out of respect for her choice but he had not abandoned her. He had given her the locket in the hopes that it would be an acceptable way for her to hang onto her memory of Jack. Nathan could not have known that even that small piece of Jack threatened Lucas. He had naturally and easily shown her son to fish when Jack had shown interest. He had held her after the miscarriage and made her soup. He had come to her rescue last night and now offered to help her in the manner she saw fit.
That was true love, not candles and fancy things. The giving of oneself and not expecting anything in return. Yes, her late husband had been like that. She supposed a lot of men who chose to be a Mountie would possess that quality. That self sacrifice would be necessary to do their job but it was not something that could easily be taught.
Reaching out one hand, she placed it gently against Nathan's cheek. The bruises encircling it reminded her of the mistake she had made rejecting Nathan's love and turning to Lucas. Yet despite that rejection, it was Nathan who was there for her in her darkest moments.
"How could I not see what a kindhearted, genuine, generous man you were before this?" Elizabeth asked, her hand resting on his cheeks and tears still in her eyes.
"Perhaps you were blinded by the uniform, Elizabeth," Nathan told her gently, no hint of incrimination in his tone. He was simply stating how things were.
"Just another of my many mistakes," she lamented.
"Like I said, we all make mistakes. The important thing is to not let those mistakes define or crush us."
Elizabeth thought she saw a flicker of something in her eyes. Like those words had a distinct meaning for Nathan, but in the same instant she saw it was gone. Letting her hand fall, she rested it on the blanket.
"Can you sit with me until Rosemary comes back? I don't really want to be alone."
Nathan nodded. "Of course," he said.
There was a slight pause before Nathan started a conversation about literature. It seemed like a safe topic for the two of them to pass time with. Soon, footsteps entered the infirmary. Nathan and Elizabeth turned to see Jack entering with Rosemary close behind. Rosemary held a plate from the café.
Jack hurried to his mother's bedside. His little fist held a cluster of wildflowers. "These are for you, Mama."
"Oh, Jack they are lovely," Elizabeth exclaimed, taking them from the boy. As she held them up to breathe in their fragrance, she also noted that after giving her the flowers, Jack turned to Nathan. The latter helped the boy climbed up on his lap and put his left arm around the boy as Jack leaned against him.
With a stab of pain in her heart, Elizabeth realized it was a sight she had never once saw between Lucas and her son.
Elizabeth was released from the infirmary the next day. Lee drove her to his home as Elizabeth was not quite up to keeping house and caring for a four-year-old alone. Neither the Coulters nor Elizabeth questioned Nathan tagging along with them, as he had brought Jack into town after the boy had spent a second night with him. What did surprise all the adults was Jack rushing to block their path as Lee started to help Elizabeth inside.
"Stop! What if Lucas somehow got in there?" Jack asked, a mix of defiance and fear in his voice.
"Jack, Lucas is in jail," Lee replied patiently.
"He was there before he hurt us too," Jack countered, not moving from his spot in front of his mother and Lee.
Elizabeth fought back tears, even as she looked desperately at Lee, Rosemary and finally Nathan. She knew Jack's fears were valid. She knew they couldn't dismiss them but she also wasn't sure how to proceed.
When no one else offered up an action, Nathan took a step forward and crouched in front of Jack.
"How about I check out the house and make sure it is safe? Will that calm your fears, Jack?" Nathan asked the boy.
"Yes," Jack answered.
Nathan nodded and patted the boy's shoulder. As Nathan headed alone into the Coulter's home, Rosemary stepped up behind Jack and pulled him close to her. Leaning on Lee, Elizabeth was once again moved by the interaction between Nathan and her son. Nathan was the type of man she should have chosen for her son's sake.
After checking the house, Nathan came out and reported it safe to Jack. He helped get the boy settled with the Coulters, reminded Elizabeth once again that if he could do anything for her or Jack all she had to do was ask and then was gone.
Abigail arrived in Hope Valley that evening, having been told by Rosemary about what had taken place. Though she stayed with Clara and Jesse, Abigail came to stay with Elizabeth during the day. The older woman allowed Elizabeth to talk when she wanted and when Elizabeth didn't want to, Abigail kept her entertained with stories about her life in Brookfield.
With the help of their friends, Elizabeth and Jack both healed over the next few days. Rosemary had attempted to return the locket to Elizabeth but that latter had refused to take it. She told Rosemary to hang onto it until they knew for sure Lucas was out of her life.
Even with Elizabeth healing, nothing was said about them moving home as legal matters were still being sorted through with Lucas, who remained in the Hope Valley jail while Bill worked out a plea deal with the man and his lawyer. Only when he had something that Lucas had agreed to, did Bill approach Elizabeth for approval, having wanted to protect her from negotiations.
Bill had asked Elizabeth to come to his office. Rosemary and Abigail accompanied her. Having decided to take the permanent Hope Valley posting, Gabriel attended the meeting as the law enforcement representative though Nathan was now back on duty as well.
The deal Bill had orchestrated entailed that Lucas would plead guilty to child and sposal abuse. The latter guilty plea cleared the way for an immediate divorce. For making the guilty plea, Lucas would serve only five years in prison, without chance of parole. Lucas' bank assets would be frozen for his use after his relief. His Hope Valley business would be sold, with the proceeds going to Elizabeth. The house would go to Elizabeth to do with what she wanted. After his release, he would not be allowed with fifteen miles of a town or city that either Elizabeth or Little Jack resided in. While Bill thought the man deserved more jail time, at least the last provision would give them a legal avenue to protect Elizabeth and Jack from him.
No one rushed Elizabeth to a decision. Bill and Gabriel even stepped out of the office for a bit to give Elizabeth a chance to discuss things with her two friends. In the end, with Bill promising to handle the sale of the two business and home, as Elizabeth did not want to return there to live, Elizabeth signed all the necessary paperwork. Lucas was transported to the Union City jail the next day.
With that settled, Elizabeth insisted that it was time for Abigail to return to Brookfield. Abigail reluctantly agreed, telling Elizabeth she would call and check in on her. Elizabeth thanked her, and even went into town to see Abigail off on the stagecoach.
Still, Elizabeth said nothing about moving home and Lee and Rosemary remained quiet as well. Though Elizabeth seemed to be doing well on the surface, she was not her normal self. Lee, Rosemary, Bill and Nathan all noticed the extended bouts of sadness and the looks of despair she often wore when watching Jack play. When the boy looked in her direction, Elizabeth forced a smile.
A few days after that, Lee brought home an official looking envelope. Opening it, Elizabeth realized that her divorce was now final. She was officially free and instead of rewarding that realization felt overwhelming. Until things sold, she had no money. Lee and Rosemary were gracious enough to give her and Jack a place to stay but that couldn't go on indefinitely. Bill told her that plans for Henry and Mike to buy Gowen Petroleum were under way but that no interest had been shown in the saloon or the house. At least the sale would give her money to find a place for her and Jack but what then. She was no longer teaching nor did she feel emotionally ready to teach again. Jack was still haunted by nightmares though they seemed to be less frequent. There was her writing but these days even writing in her journal usually led to an emotional breakdown.
For the second time in her life, things seemed hopeless. After Jack's death, she had been ready to give up. Though a struggle to return to, teaching turned out to be her foundation then. Thanks to Lucas' influence, she did not even have that to turn to know even if she could get herself together emotionally. All she had was Jack, and given all she had put her son through, perhaps even he would be better off without her.
Elizabeth felt like she was drowning. She had made a mess of her life. She had hurt so many people, her son included. She did not want to leave her friend's house. Life felt manageable here but what would happen when she was on her own. She had hurt Jack enough already. She did not want to pull the boy deeper into the despair she herself was feeling.
Jack was currently out fishing with Nathan and Ally. She could leave the Coulter's home without having to say good-bye to Jack. That would be better for her son. If she tried to tell him good-bye, she was sure Jack would know something was wrong.
Placing the divorce certificate aside, she went to Lee and Rosemary, telling her friends she was going to gather some things from her home. Lee offered to drive her. Elizabeth told him she could walk. Rosemary offered to come for moral support. Again Elizabeth refused, telling her friend she had to finally do something on her own.
Resolved in her decision, Elizabeth left the Coulter's home knowing that Jack would be well cared for when she was gone.
About twenty minutes after Elizabeth left, Nathan arrived at the Coulters with two happy children bearing fish.
"We caught dinner!" Jack said happily to Lee and Rosemary as they entered the livingroom. He held a string of two fishes up in the air, having wanted to carry some of the catch. Ally had the others.
"I see that," Rosemary said. "I think it might be Lee's turn to cook dinner tonight."
Lee chuckled. He knew that fileting fish was not Rosemary's favorite task. "I will," he said. He looked from his wife to Nathan. "You and Ally will join us, right?"
Nathan graciously accepted the invitation.
"Where is Mama?" Jack asked. "I wanted to show her what I help catch."
"Your Mama went to get something from your old home. She will be back soon," Rosemary told him.
"Alone?" Nathan asked, the one word inquiry coming out more sharply than he intended. It was just that Elizabeth had shown no interest in returning to her own home. The only time she had even left the Coulter's home since coming there after the night of her assault was the visit to Bill's office and to see Abigail off on the stagecoach. Her sudden departure now did not set well with him.
"We both offered to go with her but she refused," Lee replied, giving Nathan a curious look.
Noticing the same look on Nathan's face that her husband did, Rosemary cheerfully addressed both kids. "We'll leave the fish to Uncle Lee, but how about the three of us make some biscuits for dinner."
Jack happily agreed, taking the hand Rosemary held out to him. Ally glanced to Nathan, who gave her a simple nod. With that direction from her father, Ally headed to the kitchen with Rosemary and Jack.
"Did anything happen this afternoon?" Nathan asked.
"Elizabeth got an official looking envelope. I assumed it was the paper making the divorce final," Lee said. "She didn't say anything about it though. Do you think something is wrong?"
"I don't know," Nathan said. "I just have a bad feeling. I think I am going to go check on her."
"Do you want me to come with you?" Lee asked.
Nathan shook his head. "No. Try to make things seem normal for the kids. Ally already suspects something but it would be best if we could keep Jack from suspecting anything. He has been through enough already. However, could you try calling Bill and having him meet me over there."
"I will," Lee assured him.
Leaving the Coulters home, Nathan wished he had ridden over here today. But he hadn't, but as it was still light out, Nathan headed toward the Bouchard residence at a jog. He just hoped he wasn't too late.
Elizabeth sat on the floor in front of the coffee table. In front of her was a full bottle of whiskey and quite a few pills spread out across the surface of the coffee table. The pills were a combination of the sleeping pills Dr. Simmons had prescribed to help her sleep, and the left over pain pills from when she fell down the steps. She wasn't sure how much she would need to end her life but looking at what she had gathered she was fairly sure it would do the trick. As much as she hated to do this, she just couldn't go on hurting her son like she had been. She just hoped that Jack was not with whoever came looking for her. She hoped her son would be spared that after all she had put him through.
Taking a deep breath, she let it out slowly, trying to find the courage that had led her to Coal Valley in the first place. She was not sure where that courage and spirit had disappeared to, as of late.
Picking up the bottle, she poured some of the liquid into the glass tumbler. She had never cared for whiskey but she hoped it was strong enough to serve the purpose she wanted it too. She had failed her late husband. He had wanted her to find love again. If he had known about their son, he would have wanted her to find a good role model for the boy. To marry someone who loved both her and Little Jack.
She had failed in all things. Instead, she had hurt good people and brought misery upon herself and her son. Jack deserved to be raised by someone who was a capable parent. Elizabeth no longer thought that was herself. Perhaps she never had been a capable parent.
Picking up one pill, Elizabeth put it in her mouth. Lifting the tumbler to her mouth, she took a sip of the bitter liquid. She grimaced as she swallowed both the whiskey and the pill. This was not going to me a pleasant process but maybe that was for the best. Looking at the tumbler she thought she might take a few more sips of the whiskey before swallowing another pill. Perhaps she would get use to the taste.
Hearing the front door open, Elizabeth's mind called out 'no'. It was too soon. She needed more time. She looked at the pills. Could she swallow enough of them in the little time she had left?
As she contemplated it, a hand came down to rest flat across the top of the glass, holding it down.
"Please don't do this, Elizabeth," Nathan said quietly. "Lucas is not worth this. Jack needs you."
"No, he doesn't!" Elizabeth said, the words coming out in a sob as she maintained the grip on the tumbler. "Jack deserves a mother who will do right by him, not a mother who thinks only of herself! He would be better off without me!"
Though his one hand remained on top of the whiskey glass, Nathan knelt beside her and gently placed the fingers of his other hand under his chin. Gently, he lifted her chin so that he could look in her eyes. Elizabeth found herself looking into blue eyes filled with hurt, desperation, concern and love. How one man could feel so man things at one time Elizabeth did not understand. How Nathan could feel the last two emotions in connection with her after all she had put him through was even more unbelievable.
"Jack needs you, Elizabeth," Nathan said firmly but softly. "The first thing he wanted to do when we got back from fishing was to show his mama the fish he had helped catch. Do not rob him of sharing those moments of his life with you, Elizabeth."
Elizabeth let go of the glass then, even as the sobs came in full force. "I can't do this. All I have done is make a mess of everything. I am struggling to sort out my own feelings and I don't know how I can care for Jack alone. I have no job thanks to Lucas. We can't stay with the Coulters forever but I do not want to be alone. I can't do this alone!" she repeated, the final words filled with desperation.
During her plea, Nathan had wrapped his arms around her and pulled Elizabeth close to him. He held her protectively but with a gentleness that told Elizabeth that he would let her go if she pulled away. That knowledge resulted in her wrapping her arms around Nathan, so he wouldn't let go. He was her rock right now. He was the one solid thing which seemed right, in the midst of her darkness.
"Then do not do it alone," Nathan told her softly. "Let me be there for you and Jack, Elizabeth. Marry me, so that I can support the both of you in any way that you need. You can have your own room if you want, though I would need to add another room to the house. The spare room would hold a bed for you and Jack to start with though. All I would expect from you is to be there for Ally as she goes through things that a woman is better able to understand."
Elizabeth's breath caught. She could not believe what she had heard. The shock of the words was so great that it stopped her sobs as she looked up to meet Nathan's look. "What?" she asked, wondering if she had even heard him right.
Nathan simply repeated his proposal. Another selfless act of love and generosity from the man she had spurned love from.
"I couldn't ask that of you," Elizabeth said.
"You are not asking," Nathan told her. "I am offering because I don't want you to let the darkness win, Elizabeth. You are going to heal. You are going to find the light again but until you do, let me be your strength. If all you can ever give me is friendship, then I think both of our children will benefit from that."
Our children.
Those words stuck with Elizabeth. Ally who so desperately longed for a mother figure to replace the mother she barely remembered. Recalling her own teenage years, Elizabeth knew that longing would only intensify as Ally got older. Jack, who deserved a father figure in his life to spend time with him and make him feel safe after all he had been through in his young life. Things that Nathan had already been doing. Elizabeth had seen that with her own eyes. Dr. Simmons had said Jack needed to feel safe in order for his nightmares to pass. Nathan made Jack feel safe.
Being married to Nathan for the sake of the children was not a bad prospect. In fact, it scared her less than the idea of taking her own life did and she had been about to do that. Nathan would care for and protect her and Jack. He would never hurt them. Elizabeth knew that Nathan would never ask of her more than she what she was willing to give.
"It is not fair to you," Elizabeth replied.
"Let me decide what is fair to me, Elizabeth," Nathan replied softly. "All I want is for you to find happiness again. I will do whatever I can to make that happen. If one day that means letting you go so that you can have a real marriage, I will do that as long as I am sure that man would treat you right."
As tears over took her again, Elizabeth noticed Bill standing near the doorway. She noted she had never seen Bill look so pale and heartbroken as he did right then and she knew it was because of her actions. Bill loved her and he loved Jack. Like Nathan he wanted what was best for her. Even if she couldn't go on for herself, she at least owed it to Jack and Bill to try to go on. Perhaps she might still find the love that her late husband had wished for her in his final words to her.
Elizabeth buried her face against Nathan, despite noting that he currently smelled of fish. She let her final bout of tears expend themselves. With the patience that defined him, Nathan simply held her, waiting.
With her tears final spent, Elizabeth looked up at Nathan again. "I don't deserve your kindness or you love, but I am grateful for it. I will marry you for Jack's sake and I promise to do what I can to make our home a happy one."
"Good," Nathan said, the relief in his tone evident as he held her against him. His chin came to rest on the top of her head and Elizabeth felt something that she hadn't felt in a long time.
She felt loved.